Stwven Moffat, Peter Capaldi and Pearl Mackie on a “Doctor Who” promotion at London’s South Bank, along with a stunning “3-D” mural by artist Joe Hill.
I thought that spot looked familiar; that’s Sherlock about to chuck not-Faith’s gun into Thames. I was just watching this. Weird.
Also, if someone could explain to me why tweaking-on-godsknow-what Sherlock is the hottest thing I have EVER in my life seen good fucking CHRIST I’d appreciate it. I’m a bit worried about my taste in men now, honestly.
This took forever and now makes the fourth time I am posting this chapter.
A note about the lyrics:
‘A Feast For the Crows’
These lyrics are mine, written by me.
’TrappedInside’
The second set of lyrics (the song Jess is listening to) are from the song Trapped Inside by A Killer’s Confession. The lyrics are very fitting for the character and thematically, plus I couldn’t not give AKC a shout out because Waylon Reavis is one of the sweetest human beings I’ve ever met.
Content warning: Language, brief alcohol consumption, mention of anxiety, brief mention of drug use related to something being watched on TV.
Word count: 2,859
Enjoy!
Chapter 2: Glitter
Jessii
Stockholm, Sweden
The whiskey is ice cold, but it burns on the way down. Somewhere off in the distance over the din of the backstage commotion, I hear Tygo call that it’s five minutes 'til showtime. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, reaching for the bottle of Jack that’s sitting readily within arms reach on a road case. It trembles as I pour another shot, shaking no matter how hard I try to keep my hands steady.
It’s like this every night; the shaking hands, the near crippling nervousness that makes me almost sick to my stomach. The alcohol helped to take the edge off, if only a little bit. It quieted down the voices of criticism, the careless words that have haunted me since I was a teenager, and that sinking feeling of not being good enough.
Nearly four years of touring, and the anxiety and borderline stage fright had hardly improved. Nevermind two successful albums, or the shouting and praise of the crowds of people who came out to see us play.
Every show, it felt like I was splitting my ribcage open and bearing my heart, my soul, for all the world to see. It was terrifying.
But it was also exhilarating.
“You okay, Jess?"
Turning to see my tech, Caden, standing at the ready to hand over my guitar -a crimson red King V- I flashed him a quick smile. At this point, we had a routine.
Knocking back my second shot, I quickly chased it with one of straight honey to coat my throat. Physically preparing to sing and play what was nearly an hour and a half long show was significantly easier for me than mentally preparing.
"Yeah, I’m good, man,” I reassured with another smile. “Ready to kick some ass."
Caden grinned. "You do it every show. I don’t know why you worry so much."
"Old habits,” I replied, bowing slightly so Caden could throw the leather strap over my head. “You know those little bitches die hard."
"Don’t I know it,” he chimes back, briefly checking to make sure my guitar is secure. Caden had joined us as a tech on the last leg of the tour for our previous album, and by now I was pretty sure he adored my guitars as much as he adored his kids back home.
Hearing the first notes of Metallica’s 'Orion’ being hammered out first on Oblivion’s bass, and then on Avaalon’s drums, I took another deep breath and let it out. Shaking my hands as a last ditch effort to steady them, Caden tugged on the sleeve of my leather jacket. Grinning, he gave me a quick thumbs up.
“You got this, chick. Go kill it!”
_
“And now,
You can reap what you’ve sown.”
I was pretty sure one of my fingers was bleeding, but I kept playing, strumming out the riff of one of my favorite songs to play.
“Years of agony and empty hope,
Shredded flesh and broken bones.”
This was one of the hardest songs to play live, too. It was fast, aggressive. The rage that I had poured into this song’s lyrics had resonated with a lot of people. It hadn’t been a single, but it had become a crowd favorite.
“A bloody feast…"
I held the note, taking the pitch of it as low as I could, a chill crawling down my spine as the anticipation of what would come next hit me.
"A bloody feast for the crows!"
The music cut out, all of us silencing our instruments as the crowd sang the final line of the last song of the night. The volume was nearly deafening; I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my ears would be ringing for hours after this, but I couldn’t help but smile and applaud, grateful for such a response.
Such an experience.
"Thank you, Stockholm. You guys are the best."
The cheers and chants went on for a while even after the others and I bowed out and made our exits from the stage. Caden grinned at me as I met him backstage, and I grinned back, still trying to catch my breath as I handed him my guitar.
This was part of our routine, too.
"See, I told you, you always kill it!”
-
“Fate tears down what I create,
While laughing in my face,
And it will decide when it’s over…”
Absentmindedly singing along to the music playing from my headphones, I carefully ran the thin little brush coated with liquid band-aid over the tips of my middle and ring fingers, hissing at the burn as I patched up the first, but definitely not the last, two wounds of the tour. Judging by the timezone we were in, it was nearly two in the morning, but none of us planned on going to sleep anytime soon.
Not that we could.
We were all wired; completely on cloud nine. At this point, we were used to it, but the adrenaline high of the first show of the tour -especially a world tour- always seemed to pack twice the punch. Every show came with its own set of chills and a surreal break from reality, but the first was a special one.
It also came with the most alcohol. And some of the funniest stories
“Jesus, that’s a lot of cocaine."
I glanced up, face scrunched in confusion as the song I was listening to faded out and I caught part of the conversation I’d tuned out. Oblivion grinned, blue eyes sparkling in amusement as he noticed the look on my face.
"What? It is,” he added, and it was only then that I noticed the remote in his hand. Following his gaze that was now fixed on the TV, I realized he’d put it on a documentary about Pablo Escobar’s drug empire.
“I just tuned into the conversation at the wrong moment,” I replied quietly, setting my finger repair tools aside and tugging my headphones out of my ears. A moment later, there was a creaking of leather as Oblivion flopped down next to me, letting out a wistful, content sigh. I smiled as he threw a tattooed arm over my shoulder, leaning against me. Fresh from a shower, his face was framed by black tendrils that made his pale blue eyes -eyes he shared with his twin brother- seem all the more bright, and judging by the smile on his face as he rested his head against the back of the couch, he was still feeling ten feet tall.
“How many did you slice,” the bassist questioned, angling his face towards me.
“Just two,“ I answered, shaking my hand to get the liquid to dry. "Why are we watching a documentary about cocaine?” Oblivion shrugged.
“Because it’s the only thing interesting,” he replied. “I mean, I knew there was a lot of cocaine going into the US in the 80s, but I didn’t realize how much of the shit they consumed.”
“And that’s not even getting into the theory that the government played a part in it all,” River quipped from her spot near the door, pausing in the middle of typing -probably Isaac- a text message.
Oblivion’s eyes rose in surprise.
“Really?”
The blonde guitarist simply nodded before remarking, “It’s just a theory.”
Oblivion let out a low whistle, eyes still fixed on the TV screen. The documentary was detailing Escobar’s political aspirations. “That’s crazy.”
I let out a laugh, cutting a glance at River, who had dropped her phone into her lap and was now watching the TV as well.
“Well, Americans are crazy,” I replied.
At that, River rolled her eyes, raring back a slender hand and chucking a pillow in my direction. Oblivion catches it easily, dropping it onto his lap.
“Fuck you,” she bit back, feigning offense at my jab of her nationality. I grinned.
“It’d be the highlight of your life, Blondie.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy now,” Oblivion interjected, sitting up to create a buffer between myself and my best friend. “Let’s not change the subject. Is that true?”
“What,” River questions, a slight grin spreading across her lightly freckled face. “That fucking Jessii would be the highlight of my life?”
“No, smart ass,” Oblivion quips back with a glare, throwing the pillow that River had launched at me back at her. “Is it true that the CIA were involved?”
River shrugs as she catches the pillow, long, pale blonde hair shuffling about her shoulder as she does so.
“Maybe?” She answers half-heartedly. “Honestly, it attracted people because it was a cheap, intense high, or an easy way to make money. All it takes is using it one time, and then it has a hold of you. It takes hold and it’s hard as hell to get it to let go."
"I get that,” Oblivion replied. “We all have our vices,” he said softly, voice barely above a whisper. The two looked gazes, and River flashed a quick smile at the bassist. It was a cheerful thing, deceptively bright and innocent, but all of us knew that Riv was anything but.
I wonder how she’sdoing.
“It sounds like one hell-”
Oblivion was cut off by the sudden opening of the bus door. There was a shock of bright red hair as Oblivion’s identical twin brother -Memento Mori’s one and only drummer boy- came marching excitedly into the main area of the tour bus. Kristian followed in after him, an amused smile plastered on his face as he made his way to the table to sit next to River.
“Guess what the venue gave us!” Avaalon practically screeched, wedging his way in between where Oblivion and I sat, effectively separating us. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t remind me of a small kid.
Grinning like a madman, which was pretty much Avaa’s default state, he plopped a large red and white plastic cooler down on his lap.
“The venue had a bunch of extra bottles of alcohol that the bar didn’t serve, and they offered it to us!"
"And it sounds like you’ve already drunk half of it,” Oblivion quipped without missing a beat, feigning annoyance at his twin’s excitement. It was no secret that most of us in the band were fond of alcohol. There were countless stories of our drunken antics from over the years we’d been together. Hell, we’d met Kristian in a bar in Denmark while on vacation.
“Not yet, but you best believe if there’s a bottle of Jameson in here-"
I saw it before I heard it, just a glimpse of something stuck to the underside of the cooler lid. There was a loud pop, and then a shout from Oblivion.
"Fuck!” I spit out, scrambling up and away from my seat as quickly as I could. There was a bang and the bus shook as Oblivion dropped to the floor on his knees, trying to avoid whatever was now flying in the air. Glancing back behind me, small particles flickered about, catching and reflecting the dim overhead lights as they floated through the air before settling on Avaalon’s shoulders.
And his hair. His clothes. His face. The couch.
Everywhere.
It took a moment of stunned silence, but then the laughter began to bubble out, first from me, then River, then Kristian, who had a decidedly smug grin on his face.
From the floor only a foot away from his twin, Oblivion groaned, realizing exactly what the cooler had been rigged with.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me."
All eyes turned towards the back of the bus and what we called bunk alley to find our manager, Tygo, standing there, looking like he was two seconds from losing his shit. Bowing his head, he pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously trying and failing to hide his laughter.
"Fuckingglitter?"
Avaa threw his hands up, subsequently launching glitter even more all over the place, and Ty paled.
"I’m not responsible for this!"
"Outside,” Ty commanded sharply, pointing at the door. Avaa stammered, trying to process that he, for once, was the one getting pranked instead of being prankster. His accusatory glance fell on each of us as we all laughed, but they narrowed when he locked eyes with Kristian.
“YOU,” the drummer practically shrieked, jumping to his feet as he did so. “You did this, you little shit!"
Glitter scattered everywhere as Avaalon marched towards Memento Mori’s pianist, who was quick to move away, even as Tygo interjected.
"Outside, now!"
"But he-"
"You can kill him later,” Ty snapped, “when you’re not fucking covered in glitter!"
-
"I hate all of you,” Avaa growled, shaking like a dog to free some of the glitter from his clothes. It scattered into the warm night air of Stockholm, shimmering like stars. “There’s no holding back now. I’m gonna prank the shit out of all of you."
"Quit complaining and just give me your clothes, Avaa. We have to get on the road soon and I am NOT letting you back on the bus like this,” Ty replied as Avaa stripped off the sleeveless Misfits shirt he was wearing, revealing numerous tattoos.
“You could’ve at least put some actual alcohol in the cooler, Kris!"
"Would that have made getting glitter bombed worth it?” Kristian questioned with a grin.
“No,” Tygo groused. “It wouldn’t have."
"I don’t know, Ty,” I laughed. “I’d suffer some glitter for a bottle of Jack.”
“I second that,” River replied, much to Ty’s chagrin.
“Issues. You all have so many issues."
Avaa let out a laugh as he yanked the belt free from his ripped jeans. Following it up with his shoes, the red headed drummer stepped towards Ty with outstretched arms and a huge grin, proclaiming, "you know you love us, Ty! Come on, bring it in for a hug!"
Ty rapidly backed away, warning the drummer to back the fuck up, but he persisted.
"Pardon my French, but what the fuck is going on?” Turning my attention from our drummer’s hilarious antics, I was greeted warmly by Elize, one of Amaranthe’s three incredible fellow vocalists. The brunette had changed from her stage clothing, but somehow still managed to look as fabulous as ever.
It was no wonder Avaa had a massive crush on her.
“Glitter bomb,” I explained, unable to keep from laughing as Avaa practically chased Tygo, who was threatening to kick the drummer in the face if he got glitter on him.
“Orchestrated by yours truly,” Kristian added with a grin, amber colored eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Hell yeah,” Elize laughed, reaching out a hand to give Kris a high five. “It’s about time someone gave him a taste of his own medicine."
"This is payback for the itching powder last year,” Kris responded, and I burst out laughing. The incident Kristian was referring to had happened at the end of our last tour; Avaa had apparently put itching powder in some of Kristian’s clothes, and it had resulted in the pianist nearly stripping off his clothes on stage.
“Now,” Kristian remarked, an uncharacteristically evil smirk on his face. “We’re even. Well, almost.”
Elize lifted a delicately maintained eyebrow in confusion.
“Almost?"
Taking in a deep breath, Kristian lifted his hands to his face and yelled for the drummer. Stopping dead in his tracks, Avaa fixed his brilliant blue gaze on us. A grin spread across his face as he took notice of Elize.
"Hey, Elize!” He called and Elize flashed a brilliant smile back. I couldn’t help but wonder if she liked him, too. She’d never admit it, if she did.
“Put some clothes on, drummer boy,” the singer yelled back. “No one wants to see all that!"
"Oh, bullshit!” Avaa chimed back with a grin as he held out his arms, spinning slowly in place. As he turned away from us, his grim reaper tattoo came into view. Done simply in black and red, the tattoo took up nearly his entire back, with 'Memento’ spanning the width between his shoulders, and 'Mori’ across his lower back in Old English font. All six of us had the band’s reaper logo tattooed on us in some fashion or other, but Avaa’s was the largest. “You know you like what you see!"
"Yeah, yeah, you keep telling yourself that, drummer boy!"
"Oh, come on,” Avaa answered, laying a hand over his heart as he turned back to us, feigning hurt at the brunette’s words. Behind him, an incredibly disgruntled looking Ty, who had retreated safely into the bus thanks to Elize’s distraction, suddenly reappeared with a bucket of water in hand. Kris’ expression shifted from amused to downright smug and I struggled not to bust out laughing as I realized exactly what was about to happen.
“You can see all of this and mo-"
The shriek that came from Avaalon as Tygo emptied the bucket of water over the drummer’s head was high pitched, shrill…
And hilarious.
If tonight was any indication of how the rest of the tour was going to go, then this was going to be, by far, one of the absolute best.
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Just because he took care of her didn’t mean she couldn’t take care of him. There was room in their dynamic for a bit of back and forth. They were actually rather a fan of it.
He’d fuck her till they were both sore, and she was speaking in tongues. The kind of religious experience that would make a priest blush, but something he would struggle not to admit that perhaps yes, it was indeed spiritual. He’d call her dirty names. He’d dictate exactly what she wore, and, more importantly, when. He’d discipline her when she got out of line, and she’d love every second of it, feeling herself becoming more than she was.
And she’d take care of the smaller, day to day things. Tying his tie. Shaving him in the mornings. Making the coffee, on the days that he didn’t get up before her. There were little things that he allowed her to do, too, things that would’ve been easier to do himself. Often she’d like to sink onto her knees at his feet, plant a quick kiss on the toe of his shoe before tying the laces. There was something about that action, of covering him up to go face the world, that she found solace in.
There were a dozen miniature kisses that accompanied such activities. When the razor blade revealed his cheek, clean of shaving cream for her to plant her lips against. Buttoning up his shirt all the way before leading her hands ever upwards, and finding them cupping his face. She’d kiss him then, too. And he’d do some kissing of his own.
It was something almost devoid of sex. Except, of course, everything they did was sex, even when it wasn’t. It was those little moments that drove him, the fuel that kept him patient when he was making her come over and over again. It was the adoration in those moments that made her want to gag on him, to feel her throat try to cling around the width of him.
enemies to friends to lovers is literally my favorite trope. i will never tire of seeing two characters go from hating each other, to tentatively feeling out a friendship, to slowly developing feelings for each other and then falling in love. it’s painfully cliché and i want to see it e v e r y w h e r e
![rudy [it/he/she]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/02d42a5a9d80026c3f7eca28c03ffde2/fb25e42901eae2a6-f9/s30x30u_c1/2ce3d33269709237c43eee28def20b7b546dfd1f.png){kind=small}
