#calum thomas hood
The Tzatziki Sauce
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Luke: You know what I’ve noticed about the Five Nights at Freddy’s games? Is that as they go along, they get more and more blatantly furry bait
(…)
Ashton: When the edible kicks in
Mikey: …he took like 50 liters of coke before he went out on stage…Idk, do i look like i do coke? don’t answer that
(…)
Calum: Our controller died so now Michael is using wasd
Source;Circle Stick
*Luke trying to flip Calum’s hat off his head*
*fails twice*
Calum; If you do that again, I will slap you…you gotta give it a 5min rest you addict
Calum; do you believe cum is a soup?
Ashton; is cum a soup?
Michael; yes
Luke; if cum is a soup then blood is a solid b/c it’s nothing but solids that are just very tiny
Ashton; WhAt ArE yOu BoTh TaLkInG aBoUt?
Michael; cum is just kid soup
Luke; child broth
Calum; you’re asking too many questions for a Wednesday night?
Source;Circle Stick
(explaining why he likes this one Kpop group)
Calum; A good chunk of their songs make me go ‘I could fight god and win’ but why should I when I could go up to Satan and seduce them?
Calum; it’s the detail of the lie
Ashton; are you gonna give us a point?
Michael; no
Ashton; this game is bullshit
source; TBFQOE 2021
Michael; You ever meet someone who talks in uwu speech?
Calum; *confusion*
Michael; I forgot that you don’t spend all of your time online
…
(me explaining the latest internet shit whether it’s a tiktok trend or youtube drama is how most of me and my brother’s conversations go. Latest thing i explained was the Berries and Cream Lad mashup audios, it’s wild.)
Liz to Malum; You know what I heard last night? *points towards Luke & Ashton*
Why are you so fucking dumb?
Calum; Say tuna sub backwards
Michael; *mentally putting it together*
Calum; Bust a nut
Michael; I got bus aunt
Calum; As in the biological or the animal
Michael; The person
Calum; oh i’m 1.25 Saskatchewan Indian and therefore i can use any bad word i want and it’s like HUH?
Luke; white people taking 23 and me tests so they can find out what slurs they can use
Calum; oh nice, i just unlocked redacted
Source;Circle Stick
Ashton takes a nap around noon/early evening, when not on tour. Every once in a while though, nap time will happen when he’s stuck in a car.
‘Feel free to turn the radio to whatever.’ Not that he had to tell the other guys.
‘Purposely turns it to NPR’
‘I’ll whoop your ass’
‘I’d like to see you try, old man’
Q: what’s your favorite Fall Out Boy song?
Luke: Honey I’ve been lying to you, I’m actually 42 rats in a human suit (my love language is misery)
Ashton: The only thing I’m pro at is Prozac (I love Chicago forever)
Mikey: The delusions of grandeur when you’re playing Lego Harry Potter (Wingardium Leviosa)
Calum: I hate it when the boys fall out. what are they falling out now, the windows?
Source; Bears in Trees’ Tiktok
5sos bois as tumblr mutuals
Calum:
- a mom mutual who is great at giving advice but shit at taking it
- a mutual who is actually really popular because of their edits
Ashton:
- an aesthetic mutual who you are too scared to talk to anyway
- a kpop/kdrama mutual
Luke:
- an “inactive but still active 24x7” mutual
- an overstressed mutual who is unable to keep up
Michael:
- a slightly insane mutual who is a trainwreck
- a chaos mutual who is somehow involved in every discourse
Mikey; you look like you work in accounting and are about to go get someone’s coffee order because you’re an unpaid intern
Calum *deadpan*; i’ll kill you
hey besties can we all agree that calum>3333
THEYRE BACK!!!
