#cheftalk

It’s not easy to close your eyes while cooking over a hot flame – and I hope that you’re not thinking of trying it anytime soon. Active meditation is more like my thing.

I made a mental list of things that I’m thankful for and it brought me into a lighter mood. Does it remedy all of my worries? Nope. But it damn sure eased a lot of the rapid thoughts that ran through my head.

Most of us are freaked out over being stuck in a house when someone would gladly take our boredom. Let’s never take for granted that there’s a population out there worried about their safety, next meal and a home long before COVID-19.

Remember to check in with your kids and actually listen to them. Every person is processing this differently daily. And if you have a significant other, remember to not kill each other in this process. 15 minutes of quiet time and separation, even if in another room HELPS.

Reserve your peace in whatever way possible. Just stay home as much as possible while doing it.

Yesterday’s Dinner:

Mexican Spiced Pork Chops | Smoky Red Bean Chili | Sauteed Green Beans + Cherry Blistered Tomatoes | Spanish Spiced Rice + Soccorat

#runningfatchef #fatrunner #staythefuckhome #food #foodie #foodporn #foodslut #porkchops #eatarainbow #fiveaday #cheftalk (at Bedford–Stuyvesant, Brooklyn)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-HgbN2HYNl/?igshid=2w4gpj9yrn8o

As a person who suffers with anxiety, I’m accustomed to being heightened or on edge when the wrong elements hit me a certain way.

Last night, my endometriosis flared up something vicious. Depending on the pain level, I can move around with it or curl up into a ball and submit to the pain. While doing IG stories creating this dish, I refused to call it quits.

It’s been 10 days since my family ceased work and school – my norm is shaken. Every time I think I’m adjusting to the required changes, something disturbs my adjustments and I want to rebel – and so I continued cooking.

When I cook, I am reminded to pace myself, breathe and every step counts. It is a therapeutic and scientific act that requires attention and patience. Surely I felt the dull pains tap against my body bit it felt damn good to not lose another thing that this quarantine is taking away from me.

I’m restricted in movement but not my art. Finding my wins wherever I can earn them.

Last night’s dinner: Teriyaki Glazed Salmon | Roasted Kale | Sauteed Asparagus | Tri Colored Couscous in Asian Spiced Broth

#runningfatchef #fatrunner #chef #cheftalk #culinary #quarantinemeals #anxiety #endometriosis #salmon #endometriosisawareness #eatarainbow #fiveaday #fish (at Bedford–Stuyvesant, Brooklyn)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-F3Ex-n4Nt/?igshid=g86zm2vfwpw3

If I’m required to stay home, we gonna eat as many home cooked meals as possible.

Took two hours to whip up this late night dinner but it was worth it. I was worried that my naan would turn out disastrous because I never made it before – kid approved (and he’s brutally honest about food even when he doesn’t know it).

What I love about the power of food is if you make it right, you can make people forget about their worries or situation for a few minutes. I’m not a therapist but my food and cooking are therapeutic for me.

Last Night’s Dinner: Indian Spiced Coconut Chicken, Turmeric Jasmine Rice, Okra, Green Beans and Homemade Naan Bread

@esnelldesign

#runningfatchef #fatrunner #food #foodie #foodporn #foodslut #chicken #eatarainbow #fiveaday #cheftalk #culinary (at Bedford–Stuyvesant, Brooklyn)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9_2A9mHotu/?igshid=e6fdym9hn36e

At some point, this pandemic will be over and I’ll reflect back to these moments. I am confident in saying that it’s not going to be filled with completely terrible stories.

COVID-19 is bringing me closer to my family and forcing me to slow down beyond my norm. Perhaps this is why I feel so uncomfortable at night time. Being forced to watch everything go quiet and your thoughts are sitting on your side staring at you drift off into a somber state.

In my world, I’m scared to see another race disappear from the calendar – even though I knew it was coming. I fret as the days go by and my son gets bored quickly. To see my husband trying to find ways to make peace with not waking up early for work.

As an American, not many of us truly know how to chill in a capitalistic environment. And so, we hit the panic button when it’s done without our permission.

I buried myself with creativity today. Before I knew it, I didn’t feel so bad. Being forced to stay still reminds me of a time where I begged for things to slow down. Surely this isn’t the vacation I asked for and it’s nerve wracking to think about the future but is anything truly guaranteed. I am reminding myself to breathe intently. Control what you can and surrender to uncertainty until you find your life raft. Some battles are won when you don’t fight so hard.

Tonight’s Dinner: Seared Shoulder Steak with Citrus Soy Glazed Potato + Vegetable Medley

#runningfatchef #fatrunner #cheftalk #steakandpotatoes #fiveaday #eatarainbow (at Bedford–Stuyvesant, Brooklyn)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B95vV8wHk0k/?igshid=1555jcv6pkysr

Been in a crap mood on and off today. I feel off and it’s a day where I’m really tired of being in the house but nervous about going for a run.

Sometimes I dread social media for the reminders of people who are no longer here with us. I feel an indescribable weight that rests on me whenever I log on, particularly Facebook. I can honestly say this is the first time in a long time that I’m happy to see “pretty little pictures” and videos on a screen. I can elect to be one of those people who don’t read captions when it’s too much. But because I’m not that person, it’s hard. My brain reads everything and feel shit that I don’t want to feel.

It’s hard when your form of metaphorical oxygen can literally kill you. I fucking miss running without worrying if I’m going to catch something or be the reason why someone’s not here if I am a carrier. Practicing patience. Practicing calm. Practicing grieving. Practicing loss.

Drowning all of my feelings into creating bright dishes and pushing my bike painfully hard these days. If cooking was yoga, I’d be zen AF.

Anyways, here’s dinner: Asian Ground Beef Rice Bowl (or Bibimbap minus the egg and kimchee)

#runningfatchef #fatrunner #food #foodie #foodporn #foodslut #beef #groundbeef #eatarainbow #fiveaday #cheftalk #yeschef #ricebowl #bibimbap #quarantinemeals (at Quarantine 2020)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-vaQCEnc_H/?igshid=o843ttsunki7

I’ve been asked if I’m transforming my Instagram into a food account and this makes me chuckle.

For those who are unaware, I run a blog called Running Fat Chef – a self ran food and fitness blog about being a fit + fat athlete.

In short, the answer is no. I’m not turning my IG into a food account. This is literally me sharing layers of myself. If you’ve been following me long enough, this is nothing new; COVID-19 gifted and cursed us all with a bit more home time. I hate most takeout and I’m a light control freak when it comes to flavors.

Besides, most athletes love eating a dope ass meal after pushing their bodies to the limit. Some of us like more than salt, pepper and water.

If you’re looking for a space where I talk about food like I love it and want to skip the diet commentary b/s, check me out. It is a space where I can combine my previous career as a sous chef in restaurants, life as a food photographer, food stylist, catering and corporate dining to my semi new career in fitness.

And anyone who don’t like it better shut up and eat these mashed potatoes honey.

Yesterday’s Dinner: Seared Pork Chops | Mushroom + Garlic Pan Sauce | Roasted Corn on the Cob | Herb Sour Cream Mashed Potatoes

#runningfatchef #fatrunner #blackchefs #food #foodie #foodslut #foodporn #porkchops #potatoes #cheftalk #yeschef #fuckthescale #quarantinemeals #fuckthatsdelicious #foodblogger (at Quarantine 2020)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-pv4nTneo3/?igshid=15a6d1t7yymr4

If I take away the idea that I’m not working and my workouts are modified, I might not be doing too bad considering the state that we’re in.

I’ve always cooked meals for my family but they weren’t home THIS much. The pandemic is forcing me to make food just a bit more and I’m okay with that.
Cooking takes my mind away from the b/s.

Despite the actual physical harm that COVID-19 does to the human body, the quarantine process exposes layers that I am forced to face about myself.

A Buzzfeed article about eating disorders and how practicing the safety protocols necessary from COVID-19 (i.e. staying indoors) are triggering for some people made a few things click. I listened to my internal dialogue yesterday and realize part of nervous energy stemmed from the reduction of my workouts. Thankfully I’m at a good place where I no longer believe in shit like earning my meal but light codependency in working out hard can dictate my happiness at times.

That reflection told me that I still have work to do AND I was in need of a meal that would make me forget about a damn pandemic. During these stressful times, I love creating hearty dishes and this was the one that came to mind. Might post up this recipe today.

I’m using this time to patch up some cracks within myself. And if I can make a bomb ass meal while on the mend, I’m winning.

Yesterday’s Dinner:

Beef Enchiladas | Chicken Enchiladas | Spanish Rice | Black Beans

#runningfatchef #fatrunner #cheftalk #ed #covid_19 #eatingdisorderrecovery #foodie #food #foodslut #chicken #beef #enchiladas #culinary (at Bedford–Stuyvesant, Brooklyn)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-MuVDjH1JS/?igshid=170044rlak0l7