Grad School Life Update: 1.9 years in. | Love, School, Work, and Home

Okay I graduate next month so I’m calling this my 1.9 years in update, haha.

LOVE: Relationship is steady! At this point, I feel like I’m getting really comfortable with him and the relationship, and I often have my guard down. I am still a little worried about life after graduation when we will be in different locations but ultimately through therapy, I’ve come to a place where I can genuinely say I’m taking it day by day and not overthinking.

SCHOOL: One *MONTH* left! Is that crazy?! These past few weeks have been crazy hectic with assignment deadlines and capstone requirements. I recently took my graduation photos and it made graduation feel so real. Overall, I’m very excited to graduate and leave this chapter for a new one!

WORK: I have had my full-time job offer secured since the Fall and I’m very grateful that I haven’t had to stress about job hunting on top of finals, etc. I’m trying to enjoy my last couple of months of “freedom” before I have to work full-time until I’m 65. I’m also TAing this quarter (as I have most quarters while in grad school) and I am getting a little burnt out with everything. But the end is near!

HOME: Similar update to before. My roommate has not really changed: she’s still messier and not as courteous as I’d like (or that I am to her) but the lease is almost up at this point. Living with her and just overall looking back at my experiences living with others has reaffirmed that I want to live solo. I also think it’s important to live by yourself (if you’re able to) and see how that experience goes.

All in all, I’m enjoying my last month as a graduate student. Life is good!

Grad School Life Update: 1.5 years in. | Love, School, Work, and Home

Alright, my fall quarter is officially done! I just have two quarters left to go before I graduate this upcoming June. Here are my thoughts of where I stand:

LOVE: Relationship is still going strong! No complaints at all. I’m amazed at how refreshing it is to be in a genuinely healthy relationship for once. We have open communication, clear boundaries, and he’s honestly becoming one of my best friends.

SCHOOL:One quarter done, two quarters left! These upcoming two quarters will be more intense, especially since I’ll be working on my capstone but I’m excited. I’m thrilled and grateful to be living in Los Angeles, to have a great friend group, and to be able to have time to balance both work, school, and friends.

WORK:I quit my internship that had a long commute (45 minutes to one hour ONE WAY). I felt like I gained enough from it and it wasn’t worth the commute. I stayed on technically for 8 months total (virtual office), although it was just 3 months of commuting. I’m grateful to have secured a full-time job after graduation so I don’t feel like I need to continually bolster my resume.

HOME:Not much to update here! My roommate is still the same ol’ roommate: messier, disorganized, and ditzy. But my mentality is more now “well, I’m halfway done with the lease at this point!”

Grad School Life Update: 1.25 years in. | Love, School, Work, and Home

Alright, so it’s halfway through my Fall quarter of my second/last year of this Master’s program. I am graduating next June. Thought I’d do a little update of how life has been going!

• LOVE: I have a boyfriend! Remember all of my mopey, pessimistic posts from years ago? Haha! So far, this relationship is awesome! Very fresh but very much loving it. For those of you who are (jokingly) complaining about being perpetually single, my three quick tips for you are:

1. Get out more. Go to more social events, classes, etc. The more you go to more events, the more likely you’ll meet cool people. (Doesn’t even have to be a partner, but you can meet friends!)

2. When you’re at the events… socialize! Mingle! Grab their social media accounts! There’s no point in going to events if you’re not going to socialize and/or grab the cool people’s social media accounts.

3. Keep your personality attractive. This is a big one, but what I mean is: stay humble, keep up your good work ethic, don’t take things too seriously (don’t be petty and keep grudges), and be confident. Haven’t you ever come across a SUPER attractive person and realize their personality was absolute shit? Yeah, exactly. Work on yourself before you jump into a relationship. This is % true.

• SCHOOL: Classes are going well! Just trying to hammer out all of my Master’s program requirements. I’m basically trying to do the bare minimum because I want all of my free time to be spent exploring the city and enjoying life before I have to work until I’m 65….
• WORK: Got a full-time job offer! This is the same company I interned at but surprisingly, I actually had to go through two additional rounds of interviews because I wanted to work at a different office that I was interning at. I’m relieved I got this offer (which I accepted) because this means I don’t have to worry about this anymore.
• HOME: Apartment living is overall going well! Truthfully, my housemate eats my groceries more than I’d like, she’s clingier than I’d want, and she’s messier than I’d prefer… but compared to my last roommate situation, this is a waaaay better living situation. I also know I have the tendency to overthink and OVERBLOW situations so I’m trying to keep my cool here. If I’m being 100% honest, I think the main reason I find her “annoying” (this is much too strong of a word) is because I’m trying to have very separate boundaries with her because of my last housemate experience. BUT my housemate seems to want to be 100% besties with me, which I’m not down for. So there’s a bit of weirdness where she always wants to hang out and talk about her day and asks me about mine, and I’m more like “Welp, I just want to relax at home. I have other friends I can talk to about this stuff.” She is definitely more extroverted than me.

OVERALL: Life is going awesome for me and I’m so grateful.

Apartment Living: My Experience | Tips to Make Dorm Life/Co-Habitating Successful

I recently moved to a new apartment and my housemate is my classmate/friend. As someone who had a very, very bad roommate experience in college (mainly because that roommate constantly brought her boyfriend over), I was very apprehensive this time around. So far though, it’s generally been going pretty well. Here are my tips to successfully cohabitate with others:

• Communicate often and clearly. It’s important to set a mutually-agreed standard of how you and your housemate(s) want to live. As someone who doesn’t like confrontation, this has been the hardest for me. My housemate would always leave half-eaten dishes in the common spaces and wouldn’t wash her dishes until days later. After noticing this was a problem, I gently asked if we could propose some rules for common spaces: wash our dishes the same day we use them, and make sure there weren’t any unoccupied dishes in the common spaces. I structured it as a conversation, instead of me demanding it to happen, and brought up the larger picture: we didn’t want bugs in our house and this was an easy way to prevent that. I then asked if she thought these rules were fair and if she had anything to add. She apologized for her behavior, said it was fair, and everything generally has been smooth on this front now!
• Bring up any concerns gently. I think tone is a big factor in how something might go over. If I go yelling at my roommate that she made a mess, she’s instantly on the defensive, right? Approaching it in a kind and open manner will elicit a (hopefully) similar response back. Back when we were apartment hunting, I shared with her my concern of having boyfriends over the apartment too much. I told her my previous roommate would bring her boyfriend over constantly– his 6am alarm would wake me up daily, he snored, he acted like he lived in the apartment, etc.– and that I was very apprehensive about the topics of boyfriends being in the apartment. I think that conversation let her know very early on that she needs to be mindful of how often her boyfriend is over. Except for this weekend (his birthday weekend), he’s been over very minimally (not only for my sake but because she is a law student who needs to study!).
• Try not to make a big deal out of one thing. This is another thing I have to work on. My housemate’s boyfriend has been over since Thursday night, worked from our apartment Friday (even when my housemate was out of the house, at her law courses) and looks like he’s leaving Saturday morning. He was also here very briefly on Sunday evening to say hi, since he was in the area. Honestly, I got a little bit annoyed because I don’t think boyfriends should be over this much (2 visits a week is my hard max) and boyfriends shouldn’t be alone in the apartment (my housemate should always be present). BUT I want to be considerate and give more leeway just this time because it was his birthday weekend. If he comes over this often when it’s not a milestone event, then I will talk with my housemate.
• Realize that rules will apply to you too. I’m currently single and am not seeing anyone right now. I’m trying to be cognizant of the fact that when I do get a boyfriend, how would I feel about these rules? I can’t demand new rules, get a boyfriend, and go back on my word. A lot of the times, housemates might not all be in the same exact shoes so take careful consideration when making universal rules.

That’s all I have for now! Happy moving into dorms!

What I Would Tell My Younger, College Self

Being a few years out of undergraduate, and currently in graduate school, has made me reflect back at what I used to think were the hardest years of my life. Now, because I’m older and hopefully wiser, I laugh but if I could go back in time, this is what I would tell my younger 18-22 year old self.

1. Grades don’t matter… to an extent. Sure, if you have great grades, you have wider options: scholarships, employment, funding, grad school, etc. But truthfully, most scholarships and internship offers are based on a 3.0 GPA. Some of the stricter ones have a 3.5 GPA requirement. Unless you’re set on going to graduate school (in which case, definitely try to get a high GPA), you will likely be fine with a 3.0 GPA (this is the case especiallyif your major is STEM; if your major is non-STEM, maybe shoot for a 3.5 GPA). When I graduated undergrad and got my first “real” full-time job, they never even asked me what my GPA was or required a transcript. I say this to hopefully relieve some pressure off you. A few “Bs” (or “C"s tbh) won’t kill you.
2. Make memories. Hang out with your friends. Go outside and go hiking. Go camping. Go on retreats. Get involved in extracurriculars. You don’t want to always be in your dorm, watching Netflix, when you’re not in class. Sure, sometimes you need to wind down but you don’t want your entire undergraduate experience to be summed up with "netflix.” I promise you: you will not remember the shows you binged your sophomore year of college, but you WILL remember that awesome overnight camping trip you took at Yosemite.
3. Network.I used to cringe when people would network in undergrad because I thought they were being so “extra” and so “fake.” And now I’m understanding that the mantra “fake it til you make it” is really accurate… It doesn’t matter how you personally feel about networking, but the reality is that most people get their jobs through networking (and those who network tend to have a “leg up”). If you want to be successful, I’d argue that networking is a key strategy you should implement, to some extent. The more professional experiences you have earlier on, the easier it is to get better opportunities later on: your success builds upon itself. And you don’t have to be super fake about it either; the people who are the best networkers tend to be the most genuine.
4. Have a small group of close, quality friends and work on strengthening those friendships. It’s better to have 3 quality best friends, instead of 10 friends that you’re not really all that close to. Quality over quantity, for sure. Although you should focus on quality, I still think it’s good to be socially connected with your classmates and acquaintances/friends through Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, etc: after all, this is just good networking + who knows who may become your next close friend when you move to a new state! In college, it’s easy to hang out with friends but after college, it’s much more difficult to keep these friendships up.
5. Lastly, treat your body well. This means both mentally (most college campuses offer free, or reduced cost, therapy sessions! take advantage of this! once you’re in the “real world”, these sessions are $$$) and physically (eat the right type of food! exercise!).

Ultimately, college is what you make of it. It’s a period where you can explore your passions and find who you are. But also at the same time, it’s also meant to help advance your (future) career. You can definitely find the right balance between your professional and personal goals.