Grad School Life Update: 1.9 years in. | Love, School, Work, and Home

Okay I graduate next month so I’m calling this my 1.9 years in update, haha.

LOVE: Relationship is steady! At this point, I feel like I’m getting really comfortable with him and the relationship, and I often have my guard down. I am still a little worried about life after graduation when we will be in different locations but ultimately through therapy, I’ve come to a place where I can genuinely say I’m taking it day by day and not overthinking.

SCHOOL: One *MONTH* left! Is that crazy?! These past few weeks have been crazy hectic with assignment deadlines and capstone requirements. I recently took my graduation photos and it made graduation feel so real. Overall, I’m very excited to graduate and leave this chapter for a new one!

WORK: I have had my full-time job offer secured since the Fall and I’m very grateful that I haven’t had to stress about job hunting on top of finals, etc. I’m trying to enjoy my last couple of months of “freedom” before I have to work full-time until I’m 65. I’m also TAing this quarter (as I have most quarters while in grad school) and I am getting a little burnt out with everything. But the end is near!

HOME: Similar update to before. My roommate has not really changed: she’s still messier and not as courteous as I’d like (or that I am to her) but the lease is almost up at this point. Living with her and just overall looking back at my experiences living with others has reaffirmed that I want to live solo. I also think it’s important to live by yourself (if you’re able to) and see how that experience goes.

All in all, I’m enjoying my last month as a graduate student. Life is good!

Budgeting as a College Student: Comparing My Undergrad vs Graduate Spending Habits + Tips

My budgeting as an undergraduate and as a graduate student is very different.

As an undergraduate, I didn’t really know much about budgeting, finance, credit cards, or anything. Quite honestly, I was just… broke. My parents did not give me a monthly allowance (they couldn’t afford to!) and I had a part-time work-study job that gave me some income, but I always limited myself on buying things. Truthfully, I didn’t really need to buy things: I had a meal plan for half my undergraduate time, and living in the college dorms meant that the university would fix my light bulbs and have vacuums for us, etc. During my junior and senior years (when I lived off-campus), that’s when I started to spend a bit more money: on groceries, eating out, and random things like batteries. Overall though, I look back and I’m grateful for how strict I was with my spending. I think I’d only spend $100-$300 a month maximum on my credit card.

As a graduate student, this is much different. Although, COVID is a big factor here as well: my first year of graduate school was 100% virtual so I stayed with my parents and did not need to pay rent. And at the height of the pandemic (AKA all of 2020), everyone, including myself, stayed inside and as a result, I hardly spent any $. I saved a SHIT TON of money during my first year of graduate school. My second year of graduate school is in-person but because of my scholarships/funding, I’m very humbled to admit that budgeting isn’t a super necessary thing for me.

But still, I compare my spending habits from undergrad to graduate, and I’m shocked at the differences. I know I’m older now, and there’s COVID, and etc. But I spend a LOT more as a graduate student. I think it may be because I used to work full-time for a couple years so I got used to a standard of living.

This post doesn’t really have much substance except to conclude with:

1. Make sure you keep track of your spending habits! At the bare minimum, I’d recommend using the Mint Mobile app for finances. I’ve used it since undergrad and it’s nice to have all of my accounts linked and for me to easily see where I stand.
2. Consider investing. I have another post here that talks more about financial tips. There are three rules to investing: start early, make regular contributions (literally could be $20 a month… better than nothing!), and don’t touch the money.
3. Spend wisely. Who cares about clothes, material possessions, etc when you can spend it on EXPERIENCES? That’s my recommendation. And if you DO buy clothes/etc, buy QUALITY items and shop during sales. Shop smartly.

That’s all for now!

Grad School Life Update: 1.5 years in. | Love, School, Work, and Home

Alright, my fall quarter is officially done! I just have two quarters left to go before I graduate this upcoming June. Here are my thoughts of where I stand:

LOVE: Relationship is still going strong! No complaints at all. I’m amazed at how refreshing it is to be in a genuinely healthy relationship for once. We have open communication, clear boundaries, and he’s honestly becoming one of my best friends.

SCHOOL:One quarter done, two quarters left! These upcoming two quarters will be more intense, especially since I’ll be working on my capstone but I’m excited. I’m thrilled and grateful to be living in Los Angeles, to have a great friend group, and to be able to have time to balance both work, school, and friends.

WORK:I quit my internship that had a long commute (45 minutes to one hour ONE WAY). I felt like I gained enough from it and it wasn’t worth the commute. I stayed on technically for 8 months total (virtual office), although it was just 3 months of commuting. I’m grateful to have secured a full-time job after graduation so I don’t feel like I need to continually bolster my resume.

HOME:Not much to update here! My roommate is still the same ol’ roommate: messier, disorganized, and ditzy. But my mentality is more now “well, I’m halfway done with the lease at this point!”

Grad School Life Update: 1.25 years in. | Love, School, Work, and Home

Alright, so it’s halfway through my Fall quarter of my second/last year of this Master’s program. I am graduating next June. Thought I’d do a little update of how life has been going!

• LOVE: I have a boyfriend! Remember all of my mopey, pessimistic posts from years ago? Haha! So far, this relationship is awesome! Very fresh but very much loving it. For those of you who are (jokingly) complaining about being perpetually single, my three quick tips for you are:

1. Get out more. Go to more social events, classes, etc. The more you go to more events, the more likely you’ll meet cool people. (Doesn’t even have to be a partner, but you can meet friends!)

2. When you’re at the events… socialize! Mingle! Grab their social media accounts! There’s no point in going to events if you’re not going to socialize and/or grab the cool people’s social media accounts.

3. Keep your personality attractive. This is a big one, but what I mean is: stay humble, keep up your good work ethic, don’t take things too seriously (don’t be petty and keep grudges), and be confident. Haven’t you ever come across a SUPER attractive person and realize their personality was absolute shit? Yeah, exactly. Work on yourself before you jump into a relationship. This is % true.

• SCHOOL: Classes are going well! Just trying to hammer out all of my Master’s program requirements. I’m basically trying to do the bare minimum because I want all of my free time to be spent exploring the city and enjoying life before I have to work until I’m 65….
• WORK: Got a full-time job offer! This is the same company I interned at but surprisingly, I actually had to go through two additional rounds of interviews because I wanted to work at a different office that I was interning at. I’m relieved I got this offer (which I accepted) because this means I don’t have to worry about this anymore.
• HOME: Apartment living is overall going well! Truthfully, my housemate eats my groceries more than I’d like, she’s clingier than I’d want, and she’s messier than I’d prefer… but compared to my last roommate situation, this is a waaaay better living situation. I also know I have the tendency to overthink and OVERBLOW situations so I’m trying to keep my cool here. If I’m being 100% honest, I think the main reason I find her “annoying” (this is much too strong of a word) is because I’m trying to have very separate boundaries with her because of my last housemate experience. BUT my housemate seems to want to be 100% besties with me, which I’m not down for. So there’s a bit of weirdness where she always wants to hang out and talk about her day and asks me about mine, and I’m more like “Welp, I just want to relax at home. I have other friends I can talk to about this stuff.” She is definitely more extroverted than me.

OVERALL: Life is going awesome for me and I’m so grateful.

Apartment Living: My Experience | Tips to Make Dorm Life/Co-Habitating Successful

I recently moved to a new apartment and my housemate is my classmate/friend. As someone who had a very, very bad roommate experience in college (mainly because that roommate constantly brought her boyfriend over), I was very apprehensive this time around. So far though, it’s generally been going pretty well. Here are my tips to successfully cohabitate with others:

• Communicate often and clearly. It’s important to set a mutually-agreed standard of how you and your housemate(s) want to live. As someone who doesn’t like confrontation, this has been the hardest for me. My housemate would always leave half-eaten dishes in the common spaces and wouldn’t wash her dishes until days later. After noticing this was a problem, I gently asked if we could propose some rules for common spaces: wash our dishes the same day we use them, and make sure there weren’t any unoccupied dishes in the common spaces. I structured it as a conversation, instead of me demanding it to happen, and brought up the larger picture: we didn’t want bugs in our house and this was an easy way to prevent that. I then asked if she thought these rules were fair and if she had anything to add. She apologized for her behavior, said it was fair, and everything generally has been smooth on this front now!
• Bring up any concerns gently. I think tone is a big factor in how something might go over. If I go yelling at my roommate that she made a mess, she’s instantly on the defensive, right? Approaching it in a kind and open manner will elicit a (hopefully) similar response back. Back when we were apartment hunting, I shared with her my concern of having boyfriends over the apartment too much. I told her my previous roommate would bring her boyfriend over constantly– his 6am alarm would wake me up daily, he snored, he acted like he lived in the apartment, etc.– and that I was very apprehensive about the topics of boyfriends being in the apartment. I think that conversation let her know very early on that she needs to be mindful of how often her boyfriend is over. Except for this weekend (his birthday weekend), he’s been over very minimally (not only for my sake but because she is a law student who needs to study!).
• Try not to make a big deal out of one thing. This is another thing I have to work on. My housemate’s boyfriend has been over since Thursday night, worked from our apartment Friday (even when my housemate was out of the house, at her law courses) and looks like he’s leaving Saturday morning. He was also here very briefly on Sunday evening to say hi, since he was in the area. Honestly, I got a little bit annoyed because I don’t think boyfriends should be over this much (2 visits a week is my hard max) and boyfriends shouldn’t be alone in the apartment (my housemate should always be present). BUT I want to be considerate and give more leeway just this time because it was his birthday weekend. If he comes over this often when it’s not a milestone event, then I will talk with my housemate.
• Realize that rules will apply to you too. I’m currently single and am not seeing anyone right now. I’m trying to be cognizant of the fact that when I do get a boyfriend, how would I feel about these rules? I can’t demand new rules, get a boyfriend, and go back on my word. A lot of the times, housemates might not all be in the same exact shoes so take careful consideration when making universal rules.

That’s all I have for now! Happy moving into dorms!

What I Would Tell My Younger, College Self

Being a few years out of undergraduate, and currently in graduate school, has made me reflect back at what I used to think were the hardest years of my life. Now, because I’m older and hopefully wiser, I laugh but if I could go back in time, this is what I would tell my younger 18-22 year old self.

1. Grades don’t matter… to an extent. Sure, if you have great grades, you have wider options: scholarships, employment, funding, grad school, etc. But truthfully, most scholarships and internship offers are based on a 3.0 GPA. Some of the stricter ones have a 3.5 GPA requirement. Unless you’re set on going to graduate school (in which case, definitely try to get a high GPA), you will likely be fine with a 3.0 GPA (this is the case especiallyif your major is STEM; if your major is non-STEM, maybe shoot for a 3.5 GPA). When I graduated undergrad and got my first “real” full-time job, they never even asked me what my GPA was or required a transcript. I say this to hopefully relieve some pressure off you. A few “Bs” (or “C"s tbh) won’t kill you.
2. Make memories. Hang out with your friends. Go outside and go hiking. Go camping. Go on retreats. Get involved in extracurriculars. You don’t want to always be in your dorm, watching Netflix, when you’re not in class. Sure, sometimes you need to wind down but you don’t want your entire undergraduate experience to be summed up with "netflix.” I promise you: you will not remember the shows you binged your sophomore year of college, but you WILL remember that awesome overnight camping trip you took at Yosemite.
3. Network.I used to cringe when people would network in undergrad because I thought they were being so “extra” and so “fake.” And now I’m understanding that the mantra “fake it til you make it” is really accurate… It doesn’t matter how you personally feel about networking, but the reality is that most people get their jobs through networking (and those who network tend to have a “leg up”). If you want to be successful, I’d argue that networking is a key strategy you should implement, to some extent. The more professional experiences you have earlier on, the easier it is to get better opportunities later on: your success builds upon itself. And you don’t have to be super fake about it either; the people who are the best networkers tend to be the most genuine.
4. Have a small group of close, quality friends and work on strengthening those friendships. It’s better to have 3 quality best friends, instead of 10 friends that you’re not really all that close to. Quality over quantity, for sure. Although you should focus on quality, I still think it’s good to be socially connected with your classmates and acquaintances/friends through Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, etc: after all, this is just good networking + who knows who may become your next close friend when you move to a new state! In college, it’s easy to hang out with friends but after college, it’s much more difficult to keep these friendships up.
5. Lastly, treat your body well. This means both mentally (most college campuses offer free, or reduced cost, therapy sessions! take advantage of this! once you’re in the “real world”, these sessions are $$$) and physically (eat the right type of food! exercise!).

Ultimately, college is what you make of it. It’s a period where you can explore your passions and find who you are. But also at the same time, it’s also meant to help advance your (future) career. You can definitely find the right balance between your professional and personal goals.

If you’re in your 20s, here are some quick, basic financial tips!

I’m no expert at all so of course do your own due diligence. But here’s what I wish I would’ve known earlier:

1. Subscribe tor/personalfinance on reddit. This sub is FULL of extremely helpful information, including a literal step by step guide of how to handle $, as well as information of what to do when you’re at certain ages. This was my first resource when I became serious about my finances!
2. Make sure you have at least one credit card, so you can start building credit. The earlier, the better. Be responsible with how you use this card, obviously. There are great “starter” credit cards so look to see which one is the most appealing for you! A good age to get a credit card is the summer before college starts.
3. Create a high-yields savings account. A high-yields savings account has an extremely higher interest rate than a standard savings account. For example, Ally Bank is at 0.50% and Bank of America is at a measly 0.01%. Take time to review how you want your money organized and stored, but I’d highly recommend having a “standard” savings account and a high-yields savings account.
4. Open a traditional IRA or ROTH IRA account and contribute what you can. Do your research independently to see which account is best for you. And then start contributing whatever you can. Time is on your side, friends! Even if you can only contribute $50 a month (or a one-time payment), it’s better than nothing! The #1 tip for investing is to start early because of the compounding interest.
5. Open a brokerage account and contribute what you can. Similar advice as the point above. Personally, I would contribute the maximum limit for the IRA account (if I could), before contributing to my brokerage account.
6. Try to minimize your debts as much as possible! Apply to as many scholarships as you can. To help pay for college, consider working part-time while balancing your coursework: it’s pretty common but obviously know your limits! If you’re too stressed out, it’s likely not worth the juggle. Live frugally until you pay off your debts (and honestly, even after).

“Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” - Mark Twain

If there was one piece of advice I could give my younger self, I would probably say this: Focus on your own journey, and stop comparing it with other people’s journeys.

I always heard how software engineers could make 6 figures easily upon graduation. Doctors are highly esteemed and select specialties make money out of the wazoo. If you don’t want to go the doctor route, PAs also have the potential to make amazing money.

It took me awhile to understand how each of us have different strengths and weaknesses. And it’s really not great to idolize certain professions without understanding/recognizing the work that goes behind it.

For example: There’s the stereotype that software engineers have “easy” jobs and the tech industry seems so relaxed and chill. “All” they do is code and they get paid a crazy amount of money. I used to admire them and honestly, was jealous of them – I wish I could earn that much! But the reality is, I’ve taken a few coding classes and truthfully, all of the classes were really difficult for me and I was stressed most of the time. I’ve come to the conclusion that coding and programming isn’t for me, or at least certainly not what I’d want to do for a living!

Another example: Doctors are incredibly hardworking. You have to go through YEARS of education and training to be a doctor. And honestly, I can’t handle that.

Recognizing the work behind each profession makes me realize how I wouldn’t be a great fit in those professions and makes me shift my mindset from “WOW! I’m jealous of that profession and wish I could make that much money!” to “Wow! I know I wouldn’t be happy in that position, but I recognize the work that it takes to get there and that’s admirable! Good for them!”

Instead of idolizing certain professions, we should admire when people pursue what they’re passionate about – whether that’s software engineering, being a doctor, working as a city planner, etc. Recognize that certain individuals are better suited for certain professions over others. Certainly, not everyone is suited to be a doctor, engineer, lawyer, etc.

Life is really about finding what your strengths and weaknesses are. When my friends are off pursuing their passions (or still trying to figure it out!), I’m genuinely happy for them. I used to secretly (in my head) compare salaries, benefits, job growth, etc. But it’s so unhealthy to have that competitive mindset. Is there even one job that is clearly the #1 option for everyone? Of course not!

All you can do in life is find what your passion is, pursue it, and if you’re so lucky to have your job and passion line together, oh man - that’s the dream!

I previously published a post entitled “The Honest Guide on Preparing for College” in June 2015. It’s since racked up over 7,000+ notes - which is crazy to me! 

But now with the pandemic happening, I think a “refresh” is warranted for the guide. So here it is: The Honest Guide on Preparing for College - COVID-19 Edition. This list assumes you are remote-learning and events are not in person. 15 tips!

1. Suffer from acne? Have a mental illness you’d like to get supported on? Visit a dermatologist. Visit a therapist. The reality is, the earlier you start, the earlier you can begin to see results. For me personally, it took a LOT of trial and error to get my skin clear - and what better time to do this than now? While in-person college would’ve had you going bare-faced often in the dorms, you still want to feel your best during these remote-learning sessions. Additionally, COVID-19 is wreaking HAVOC on everyone’s mental health so definitely feel encouraged to get that checked out!
2. Figure out a rough guideline of your morning/night routine. This still holds true for remote-learning. I would urge you to try to stick to some sort of routine even if you’re not physically going to classes. Maybe dressing up everyday is too much for you, but at least wash your face and brush your hair and look presentable. Don’t turn off your camera and don’t be a passive participant.
3. Understand that the way you organize high school classes is different from college classes. Typically, college classes are MWF, TTH, etc and don’t meet daily like in HS.
4. Invest in learning how techniques that make you feel good and look good. That might be learning some basic make-up skills, learning what clothes fits your body shape, learning workout techniques,  where to place your laptop for Zoom school, anything!
5. Make sure your Zoom background is appropriate and in a well-lit space. Make sure you wear appropriate clothes. This is basic but you’d be surprised at how many people I’ve seen in very dim spaces or untidy backgrounds. And I’ve realized sometimes I’m wearing a normal tank top but because of the camera position, it looks like I’m not wearing a shirt. Definitely wear something that looks good on camera, meaning doesn’t make you look topless!
6. Realize that the first month-ish of school is the prime time to make new friends. I still think this is true. Be friendly during Zoom calls, maybe ask for a classmate or two’s phone #s to be study buddies and bond that way, start up a study group immediately, etc. People are much less likely to have organic conversations now, so you definitely have to put some active effort to build relationships! 
7. Keep in touch with your old friends! I’d argue that they might be closer to you than your newly formed college friends because it’s going to be hard to make new college friends now.
8. Be very organized about your schedule. Put in midterms/finals as soon as you know them. Put in study sessions. Put in professors’ office hours. Anything! 
9. Don’t skip class… seriously. And try to participate if you can. Professors are trying here. College today is now very impersonal, so why skip out on it? What’s the alternative? Watching the recorded lecture by yourself at night? :/
10. Be proactive about your classes and class planning. Pick classes you’ll enjoy (or think you’ll enjoy). Be diligent about visiting your advisor from time to time (just to make sure you’re on track! you definitely don’t want any surprises down the road, right?) If you’re not a morning person, don’t enroll in that 8AM (seriously, 8AM in college is WAY different from 8AM high school) if you won’t be able to remember material (even if you can zoom from your bed!)
11. Understand your finances for college. Including scholarships, how much you’re paying out of pocket, if you’re working, etc. It is a confusing topic and can be scary but it’s important to be on top of all your money stuff! 
12. Be gentle with yourself and others. Recognize that everyone is going through this pandemic and for most, this college experience ISN’T what they expected (or paid for). Be gracious, don’t be petty. Switching to remote learning is a new thing for many of us. Give yourself (and others) a grace period to understand the new methods and how to access the programs, etc.
13. Learn how to socialize and do small talk. I know, I know. No one likes small talk but I think it’s a skill to be able to talk to everyone and have a pleasant conversation. (Who ever would’ve thought we would have to do recruiting at college fairs online?!) 
14. Be ambitious and take advantage of all the resources. Wait, what? Yeah, go to that webinar about carbon emissions! Go to the panel about alumni experiences. There have been SO MANY virtual webinars and meetings lately - soak up all that knowledge! It’s never been easier to jump from meeting to meeting! And if you’re doing well with Zoom learning, well, stack on the courses! Personally, I can juggle 20 units in Zoom School but in person, this would’ve been a HUGE no-no.
15. Realize how small the world is and how connected everything is. Don’t talk shit about people. Seriously. The person you’re complaining about may have a friend who is taking a class with the person you’re telling to. Or the person you’re telling it to may have a friend who has a friend who knows the person. If it’s one thing that keeps coming up in my time here, it’s that everyone seems to know everybody (or is a friend of a friend). So limit your shit-talking, secret-sharing, gossip talk to only your trusted confidants. Seriously, though. As you go through college, you’ll come to notice that many people will reappear in your classes because of being in the same major, and more. The world is small, y’all. Don’t be reckless.