inkskinned:

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GOVERNOR OF FLORIDA, REGARDING WHAT EXACTLY ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD WAS SO VERY INNOCENT AND NATURAL

was it protecting my innocence, governor, when we stood with our sweaty palms pressed together in a little circle, praying some adult step in and save the white rhino. when we huddled around a wood stove, sitting through yet-another worst-weather-on-record. running our hands over the dry dirt and learning monarch butterflies are going extinct in our lifetime. 

was it protecting my innocence, governor, when we pressed our tender bodies like little shivering leaves closer to the back of the classroom, eyes closed, waiting for the shooting drill to end? i don’t know if you’ve been through one, governor, but it isn’t like a fire drill. nobody laughs. nobody talks. we all wait for the gray slip of death to pass us over; knowing - tomorrow might actually be the one.

was it protecting my innocence when our parents were suddenly all out of jobs. was it natural how many of us were living out of cars. how our school milk came soured, how we would skip eating rather than admit we didn’t have enough to pay off our “lunch debt,” how many of us were dropping out and working-for-a-bit.

was it natural and innocent when we were bullied within an inch of our life. how the school knew and did nothing. how people we trusted groomed us to be okay with men ogling. sex ed from the wrong kids, from the television, from pornography. shame pulsing through every inch of our bodies. believing that at 13 we could be something like tempting. 

was it just the normal progression of things, i mean. was it god’s honest plan how many of us wound up sick in a gutter with something running through our systems. the designer drugs and the nicotine addictions. i broke my wrist, governor. i was 15, and they put me on opiates.

was it protecting my innocence, governor, and i don’t mean to be rude - but when my graduating class began to commit suicide, was that the innocence? is it an acceptable loss to you? that some of us will just not make it out of childhood alive - but then. for those like me, i guess, you don’t care if we do. 

which part. i’m asking genuinely, now. my childhood never got to be the idyllic american dream.  my childhood doesn’t look like yours. it looks like no generation before me. we watched the internet grow up with us, destroy us, destroy our self-esteem. those who came after you - we didn’t getto live in ignorance. it wasn’t an option, despite your priorities. it turns out what you don’t teach, children learn in their own way: and that learning is usually ugly.

i just want to know. i had an excellent education. i had it easy. and if innocence is what you are protecting, sir, as an educator, i’m happy to agree. but i’d love to know how being raised ashamed of being gay actually somehow protected me. how it made my life easier, smooth, free of cruelty.

when you’re ready, sir, i’d love to talk about public education policy. but in the meantime, if i may:

stop fucking talking.

kylehq: your honor may i have a white claw break?

sam: you may

tina: YOUR HONOR HES SNORTING CRACK COCAINE

bbh: your honor its prescription ?

CW: needles, drug use

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A self-poisoner♥︎

You guys ever seen a rat on ketamine?

lisawn:

that thc doesn’t treat u so well huh bedivere

(flips on the projector) time for needlessly specific headcanons based on personal experience

Got high last night for the first time in years, I forgot that it’s pretty much an aphrodisiac to me lol. After half an hour I could feel my dick getting warm and sensitive and got wet just from kissing. I never came last night though so I still crave being fucked so badly. I haven’t wanted to get docked down like that in a good bit but it felt so good. I didn’t have to think or anything, as soon as he took his dick out my dumb slut brain knew to suck it until I couldn’t take it anymore and need to be fucked.

If my libido doesn’t go back to normal I’m expecting my bf to make me smoke knowing I’ll turn into a horny slut

…

WinterIron, M, 2k - College AU, mutual pining, fluff, humor, getting together, casual drug use

Written based on this UNBEARABLY adorable art by my stupendous bro @gayspacesprinkles​

“You know,” Bucky says when his eyes land on Tony, and more specifically on what Tony is wearing, “when I invited you to spend the rest of winter break here it was notwith the intention of having you dig through and raid my highschool wardrobe.”

“Well that was poor judgment on your part,” Tony says, raising his shoulders so the lower half of his face practically disappears into the collar of the oversized letterman jacket and hopefully hides his wide grin, “because obviouslyI was always going to do this. And you toldme to grab a jacket.”

“I meant one of yours,”Bucky says with a huff of laughter, but he doesn’t tell Tony to take the jacket offand Tony grins a little wider where it’s still safely hidden beneath the collar.

“So where are we going, to the backyard?” Tony asks as he starts to turn towards the bedroom door. He figures Bucky’s family must all be in bed by now, if Bucky is breaking out a fat joint and telling him to grab a coat with a smirk, but he stops when Bucky shakes his head.

“Nah, this way,” Bucky says with a wiggle of his eyebrows, then tucks the joint into his mouth so he can haul open the window beside his tiny childhood desk.

“Thiscannotbe a good idea,” Tony says as he watches Bucky clamber out of the window.

He’s pretty sure it goes less gracefully than Bucky intended, especially when his wide shoulders almost get caught in the window frame, but then he disappears onto the sloped roof. Tony sticks his head out the window, the rest of him remaining firmly inside, to better give Bucky a skeptical look.

“We are going to fall off this house,” he says flatly, “and that is notmy idea of a good stoned time.”

Bucky laughs and plops himself down, bending his knees to brace his feet against the shingles, and then says “I have never… Okay I have only oncefallen off this roof.”

“Very encouraging,” Tony says with a flat stare, but it’s really hard to fight down his own smile when Bucky is grinning at him like that, lit up by the full moon and the dim glow of the streetlight down the block.

“Where’s your sense of adventure,” Bucky asks, and then when Tony just continues to stare at him he shifts his feet apart and pats the roof between his spread thighs in clear invitation. “C’mon, I won’t let you fall,” he says with a small, teasing smirk.

Tony’s never had the bestself control, but it would take a lot more than the threat of falling off a two story house to have him turning down thatoffer, and he doesn’t even mind that Bucky laughs softly as he quickly scrambles out the window. Tony does take the time to carefullycrawl over though, ignoring Bucky continuing to snicker at him.

“Alright, now give me that joint,” Tony says as soon as he’s settled, resisting the urge to lean back into Bucky’s chest, “I want to be too high to feel it when I fall to my death.”

Bucky laughs again and then his left arm is winding around Tony’s middle and hauling him back that little bit more, until he’s pressed against Tony’s back from shoulders to hips. “I’m not gonna let you fall,” Bucky insists as his other hand holds the neatly rolled joint in front of Tony’s face.

“Maybe I’ll just take you with me when I fall, you ever think of that?” Tony asks as he snatches the joint from between Bucky’s metal fingers. He has to lean back into Bucky a little harder to be able to wiggle the lighter out of his pocket, and he almost drops it when Bucky leans in to rest his chin on Tony’s shoulder.

“I’d like to see you try, shrimpy,” Bucky says teasingly as he tightens his arm around Tony’s waist and closes his wide thighs in around either side of Tony’s hips, even curling his feet in around Tony’s to thoroughly box him in.

“Uncalled for, now I’m not going to share,” Tony pouts and then has to fight down a shiver when Bucky laughs again, the sound low and soft and his breath warm against the side of Tony’s throat.

Tony forces himself to focus on lighting the joint and tucking his lighter away before he can lose it, noton the solid weight of Bucky wrapped around him, warm enough to easily fight off the frosty chill lingering in the air. He’d known that coming here wouldn’t help with his giant crush, but Tony really hadn’t thought this through when he’d accepted Bucky’s invitation.

Bucky starts spider-crawling his fingers up Tony’s arm towards his hand, clearly intending to steal the joint, and Tony drags in the biggest hit he can before Bucky snatches it away, only coughing a little as he fails to fight down a laugh.

“Hey, I said I was stealing that,” Tony complains, turning his head to look at Bucky and oh that was a mistake, they’re so close and it would be entirely too easy to get lost in the way Bucky’s eyes reflect the burning glow of the joint.

“I’llthrow you off this roof,” Bucky threatens, his eyes shining with amusement and his voice slightly muffled by the joint held between his lips.

It just pulls Tony’s attention to his mouth, to the swell of his lower lip and how badly Tony wants to press his own lips to the corner of Bucky’s mouth where it curls up in a smirk. Tony has to drag his eyes away before he does something stupid, like actually follow through on that thought. While he’s about 87% sure Bucky wouldn’t be opposed, that’s not enough, not when it comes to Bucky.

Luckily the bright array of stars above them is a pretty good distraction, exactly as impressive as Bucky had promised from small-town Indiana. Bucky passes the joint back to him and starts pointing out all the constellations he’d made up as a kid, which of course Tony wants to know, and then threatens to throw him off the roof again when Tony tries to bring up how many of those stars are probably long dead.

By the time the joint is half gone Tony has forgotten all about trying to keep any distance between them, leaning heavily into Bucky’s shoulder and using one of Bucky’s legs as an armrest, drumming his fingers against Bucky’s knee as he talks.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Tony says, twisting slightly to look at Bucky again because he just can’t stop,“getting through Christmas was about all the family time I could take.”

He doesn’t at all want to get into the reasons why,like the latest fight he’d gotten into with his dad or the fact that his mom hadn’t seemed to be able to find any time for himin her busy holiday schedule, and he also doesn’t mention how depressing it always is to go back to campus early while the place is still deserted. He’d been resigned to it though, with Rhodey doing a small holiday with an aging relative this year, but as always Bucky had taken him by surprise.

"Of course,” Bucky says, tightening his arm around Tony a little like he hadn’t needed Tony to sayall of that to hear it anyways. Then he grins as he passes the joint over again and adds, “It was that or listen to my family complain that Steve couldn’t come this year, because he chose Samoverus.”

"Your sister still did that,” Tony reminds him gleefully, snickering all over again at the memory of Rebecca’s faux-tearful rant over dinner.

"Yeah, but not as much.”

“I think your family likes him more than you,” Tony says, patting his knee consolingly.

“Iknowthey do,” Bucky says with a laugh, “just wait, by the end of the week they’ll like you more, too.”

“Obviously, I’m very likable,” Tony says, and then punctuates that by blowing a cloud of smoke into Bucky’s face. His heart lurches in his chest a little when Bucky just smiles wider and fuckTony is in so deep, he doesn’t know how he’s going to make it through a full week without his feelings spilling all over the place, without it being obvious to everyone.

"My mom’s been dyin’ to meet you,” Bucky says, and when Tony feels his eyebrows go up Bucky’s grin goes a little lopsided, his eyes flicking away for just a second before he adds, “apparently I never shut up about you.”

Now Tony knows his mouth his hanging open stupidly, but he doesn’t know how to process the fact that Bucky talksabout him, that Bucky talks about him to his mom,enough that she actually wanted to meet him and Tony’s heart is climbing up his throat because what if. He snaps out of it when Bucky knocks their foreheads together, at least enough to huff out a soft laugh, and he snaps his attention back to Bucky again with what feels a lot like hopeclogging up his lungs.

“Is that really so surprising?” Bucky asks and his voice has gone soft and a little hesitant, a slight tremor at the edge of his smile that Tony realizes is nerves.

“No,” Tony says, the word escaping him in a rush because it’s not,actually, it’s not surprising at all. Of coursethis is what they’ve been building to, slowly but surely, orbiting around each other closer and closer until they ended up here.

When Bucky’s hand comes up to cup his jaw, fingers slightly chilled from the night air, Tony leans into it breathlessly and he swears he can already feel Bucky’s lips against his. Then they’re actually kissing and Tony wasn’t prepared at all, had no idea how it would light up his every nerve and warm him from the inside out.

He forgets all about the cold slowly sinking into his fingers and the tip of his nose, about the joint he’s still holding and the night sky stretching out infinitely above them. All he knows is Bucky’s lips, soft and warm as they move against his own, Bucky’s fingers sliding back into his hair and Bucky’s other limbs wrapped all around him.

By the time they slowly break away Tony’s lips are tingling and the joint has burned down enough that he can feel it getting dangerously close to his fingers. Tony knows he should really pass it back at some point soon, but he’s having a little trouble pulling away from the blue of Bucky’s eyes, the warmth of his breath still fanning over Tony’s wet lips.

“I’m crazy about you,” Tony blurts all at once, like he can’t possiblyhold it in anymore, and when Bucky gives him a ‘no shit’ look Tony laughs softly and gently headbutts him back.

“I’m crazy about you, too, just in case you didn’t get the memo,” Bucky says with a lopsided grin, tracing his metal thumb around the shell of Tony’s ear.

“Yeah, I’m starting to get it,” Tony says with a small, baffled grin, and then leans in to kiss him again.

They don’t break away until the joint burns down to Tony’s fingers and he drops it with a startled yelp, knocking their heads together a little less gently and then almost sliding off the roof when he quickly leans down to grab it before he can think better of it. Luckily Bucky hauls him back with the arm still wrapped around his middle, hugging him tightly and smothering his laughter into Tony’s shoulder.

“Iknewthis I how I would die,” Tony says mournfully, clinging to Bucky’s arms wrapped around him and pouting when Bucky just laughs harder. “I mean it, I have perished, heart attack and I’m gone.”

“So dramatic,” Bucky says as he presses a kiss to the back of Tony’s neck, and his voice is so full of warmth and fondness that Tony doesn’t know howhe never heard it before, “guess I’ll have to go watch Star Trek DVDs by myself then.”

“You have the original series?” Tony demands, forgetting all about his near-death experience in favor of turning to face Bucky, who just grins wider, and then laughs when Tony instantly abandons his fears in favor of crawling back towards the window.

Quick little life snippet comic for my boy Amar. He’s fiiine don’t worry bout it.

Crow doodlin. I have named him Judas.

whiteboard shenanigans with @jazzyartsssss,@sunsestart , and @wilwoo!!I’ll probably post more as we+others continue to work on it lmao. (Also lookit how good jazzy is at drawing with just her FINGER whadda hell)

Which Ajin characters smoke and how

• Kei does not smoke weed and never has and never will and yes he’ll judge you if you smoke around him
• Kai likes dab rigs cause they’re convenient and he can smoke inside :) also likes pipes so he can take stony walks in the mountains
• Kou used to smoke in high school, mainly shitty joints but kinda grew away from it. He’s not against weed, just not for him
• Izumi smoked weed while living on the streets and in motels but it was shitty weed, she liked cigarettes better. She still smokes the occasional cigarette.
• Tosaki has never smoked and equates weed to meth because he’s stupid. He thinks you can see flying pigs while high on weed or some other dumb myth shit.
• Ogura smoked a lot of weed in high school, all kinds of ways. Out of an apple? Check. Bong? Check. Gravity bong? Double check. Switched to cigarettes as he got further along in college. Smokes the occasional blunt as a lil treat to reminisce.
• Satou has smoked a few cigars, never weed, doesn’t care if anyone smokes around him. Used to smoke cigarettes but quit because they taste bad.
• Tanaka smoked mainly joints up until he was found out as an ajin, he hasn’t smoked since but flirts with the idea from time to time.
• Gen and Takahashi both love weed, though they do prefer cocaine. Gen likes blunts while Takahashi enjoys gravity bongs so he can get h i g h as a mf kite.
• Okuyama used to enjoy joints but he doesn’t smoke much anymore, hacking is his one true love.
• Like Kei, Kotobuki has never smoked weed, will not smoke weed, and will judge you. Thinks cigarettes are superior.

Started this as a joke and then spent way too much time on it.

I’ve decided Kazuha is their dealer and Venti mooches off the both of them.

tz and nep

reblogs > likes

I’ve a rough few weeks.

I’m halfway through the transition from Cymbalta (an SNRI) to Zoloft (an SSRI). Side effects/discontinuation effects from that have included disrupted sleep, mood swings, and drowsiness. (Please don’t share your horror stories with me. I have made the decision to do this, and I just need to keep at it one day at a time.)

My anxiety was through the roof leading up to this medication transition. (The last time I tried to transition off of Cymbalta I got so dizzy that I couldn’t stand up without holding onto furniture/the wall.) And that has also flared up my chronic pain. I’m holding tension everywhere, and it is so physically painful.

I have a friend here at school who attempted suicide this summer and has told no one else at school about her suicide attempt or the full extent of the mental illness. She has no local support system. (She has a psychiatrist near her parents’ home in another state.) Earlier this week I learned that she was still regularly thinking of suicide. Back in August she had promised me that she would find a local therapist, and she hasn’t done that. I pushed her on it and got her to agree to go with me to the counseling center on campus and get assessed/assigned to a therapist.

I’m so glad that I was able to convince my friend to get some help, but those days were so mentally and emotionally exhausting. (And I was dealing with this while still having some mood swings from my own medication changes.)

And now I’m pretty sure I’ve caught a virus. I have had quite a bit of nausea and have vomited once. I’m also just totally exhausted, despite the fact that my sleep is now back to normal. It’s pretty similar symptoms to one that a friend of mine had about a week and a half ago, so I’m pretty sure that’s what I’ve got.

Just needed to get that off my chest. I hope you guys are having a better week.

actually maybe i have the balls to post this ╚═( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)═╝

entity9silvergen:

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entity9silvergen:

Me anytime I get surgery: I’m scared I’m going to say something embarrassing or reveal a secret when I’m on anesthesia…

Me every single time I’m on anesthesia: AAA I’M GETTING ABDUCTED BY ALIENS *falls asleep*

(This is queued to be posted while I’m in surgery)

I was expecting to be all silly this time but I wasn’t, still druggy but not silly, so I came out of anesthesia and once everyone left I was like mom my vagina hurts and got scared I’d somehow started my period even though I don’t menstruate.

Using this as my top recovery thread. Everything went well but a lot of anesthesia ended up in my right hand so it’s very dumb and also the thing that made my urethra hurt (not my vagina, apparently) is making me not be able to pee so just chugging water. Food at hospital is really good tho

Turns out anesthesia can interfere with your ability to urinate. Even sort of describing that would be very graphic so not going to.

Had a temp nurse who didn’t really know what I was there for and asked if I could use the urinal *fist pumps in victory*

Came home yesterday, able to type on short bursts when painkillers are in effect but not a ton of activity

This was going to be a funny thread and I’d do a serious one later but I forgot the antibiotics I took with my t last year fucked up my stomach so one pill yesterday reset a lot of the progress

Eating is kind of an ordeal but others find it funny. I have a small mouth, big teeth, and a jaw that doesn’t work right so my caretakers try to mash food into my mouth while I’m just kind of lying there like a wet noodle and they all find it hilarious.

Also had this conversation-

My mom: you’re bleeding

Me: no that was a strawberry

Her: no, you’re having a nosebleed.

Me: I literally can’t bleed from there. That was a strawberry

Later

Her: *watching the same thing happen* oh

Me: see????