#dnd beyond
“I look respectfully terrified as I walk over” - one of my players as I introduce a buff elf woman NPC
DM: “Ah yes, the dice have spoken”
Me, on 4HP: “The dice can SHUT THE FUCK UP”
I am THIS close to making a DM persona and then just cosplaying them for my sessions… my players already refer to me as God, they should expect this
Having no life means DMing one session a week and separately playing three others …. and then wanting to DM yet another campaign bc I can
I haven’t posted on here in a while but I’d like to show everyone my favourite quotes some some dnd games I’ve DM’d/played
Fighter: “I mean the body can take the hit, the booze must survive”
Rogue: “don’t bite the hand that feeds you - go for the legs, it’ll throw them off balance”
Monk: “I’ve got twinks in my inventory!”
Sorcerer: “you went from bored to a full mental breakdown”
Fighter: “NO! You want to hear it in Infernal? NO!”
Sorcerer: “that’s one heckin tiddie window”
Monk: “shit my amour fell off! Quick, sausage sauce!” (Don’t ask me for context I can’t even remember)
Warlock: *mimicking holding phone* “hey mum can you pass me over to Satan, please?”
Druid: “you know that thing pirates do with a knife and a sail? Can I do that but with a kraken and a flaming sword?”
Adding to this list with a few new quotes I enjoyed:
Cleric: “I’m not recognising anything! Not on 7hp, I’m not!”
DM: “the ghast bleps in fear”
Bard, to an undead: “are you made of flesh?”
DM: “(Bard) jingles his bells and the alter opens”
Druid: “tits out for the King” (we were at his funeral)
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Apparently I was feeling a bit extra while I was guesting in a friend’s campaign.
Normal people: “okay so that’s a dirty twenty”
Me, for some reason: “ah that’ll be a skanky little twenty”
Players: *present a character that is extremely traumatised and goes into detail about how this affects them as a person*
Me, the DM:
