#dnd quotes
If you’re ever bored, I can suggest turning quotes from your dnd sessions into inspirational posts. I’ll drop a few for examples
I haven’t posted on here in a while but I’d like to show everyone my favourite quotes some some dnd games I’ve DM’d/played
Fighter: “I mean the body can take the hit, the booze must survive”
Rogue: “don’t bite the hand that feeds you - go for the legs, it’ll throw them off balance”
Monk: “I’ve got twinks in my inventory!”
Sorcerer: “you went from bored to a full mental breakdown”
Fighter: “NO! You want to hear it in Infernal? NO!”
Sorcerer: “that’s one heckin tiddie window”
Monk: “shit my amour fell off! Quick, sausage sauce!” (Don’t ask me for context I can’t even remember)
Warlock: *mimicking holding phone* “hey mum can you pass me over to Satan, please?”
Druid: “you know that thing pirates do with a knife and a sail? Can I do that but with a kraken and a flaming sword?”
Adding to this list with a few new quotes I enjoyed:
Cleric: “I’m not recognising anything! Not on 7hp, I’m not!”
DM: “the ghast bleps in fear”
Bard, to an undead: “are you made of flesh?”
DM: “(Bard) jingles his bells and the alter opens”
Druid: “tits out for the King” (we were at his funeral)
Quotes of the Session
“Man with no penis I do not fear” -our dm
“So it’s just a pendant that you decided is magical?” -also our dm
“Consensual carrying” -me
Quotes of the Session
“Start simping dammit” -Keth
“The magic hand job” -Dolce
“I’m about to make a d*ck earring” -Dolce
“For the sake of Dolce, she did it” -god, our dm
“Gwilym doesn’t walk into battle, he sashays.”
Gwilym
“Thunderclap Booty smack.”
Morwen
“Are there any elf boys?”
Lavias
“Can trees climb trees?”
Gwilym
“I have regrets!”
Elmyra
“I’m using my fuck.”
Morwen
“We all know that if we stopped associating with pricks, you’d be out of the business.”
Gwilym, speaking to the owner of the local brothel
“Old ladies need to get it too.”
MJ
Elmyra: That’s creepy
Morwen: You literally just stole blood from a guy’s body
“I’m a big boi.”
Kernow, who is indeed a big Dragonborn boi ⚔️
“I’m Chaotic Petty.”
Gwilym, Petty Bard extraordinaire
“If you were to have sex with a dead prostitute would that be classed as necrophilia?”
Elmyra, our warlock after a prostitute was resurrected as a Revanant
“I’m looking a third of the way rough.”
Myllandrae
“I put my ️ussy in the bag of holding.”
Eduardo ⚜️
“If it’s about my cagina, don’t ask!”
Kernow ⚔️
“I’ll look after his orphan children but not the Jonas Brothers.”
Gwilym
“It’s the ultimate Thot repellent.”
Kernow ⚔️
“Thank fuck I got my pimp ring!”
Gwilym
“I’m not gonna pitch a tent just to fuck him!”
Gwilym
“I have a room upstairs…I can show you something?”
Lavias
