What have I learned from transitioning? I can’t overstate the biggest joy, which is really seeing yourself. I know I look different to others, but to me I’m just starting to look like myself. It’s indescribable, because I’m just like, there I am. And thank God. Here I am. So the greatest joy is just being able to feel present, literally, just to be present. To go out in a group of new people and be able to engage in a way where I didn’t feel this constant sensation to flee from my body, this never-ending sensation of anxiety and nervousness and wanting out.
When I say I couldn’t have ever imagined feeling that way, I mean that with every sense of me.
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Euphoria: Summer, it’s hot out, and I’m just in a white T-shirt that fits me, walking down the street, shoulders back, enjoying the sun and the day. In the past, that would’ve been a very different walk. Instead, you have ideas blossoming in your mind, not constant feelings of shame and self-hatred.
