Puerto Peñasco - Sonora, Mexico

✨I made a friend at breakfast✨

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YCH for RizerStake on FA. This was so fun to work on! :’) Maybe I’m in my snowy phase right now. I’d love to do more in the future.

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The Secret Son - A.S

Masterlist,Requesting Rules,Guidelines 

Anakin Skywalker x Fem Reader

About: The reader falls pregnant with Anakin’s child and instead of telling him, she leaves the Jedi Order goes back to her home planet. Years later, a war takes place on her planet and she is attacked and finds herself and her son reuniting with Jedi she truly loves.

Warnings: mention of nausea, food, violence, blood, shooting guns, death of children (what is a result of war), mention of sex, plenty of fluff, swearing, and all the feels!

A/N: We get to see Jedi Master Anakin in this.. oh my heart… Please reblog my work to support me!

You knew it was stupid, dangerous, and unprofessional to strike up a heated romance with your fellow Jedi classmate - but none of that stopped either one of you from sneaking around at night, getting hot and heavy during quiet moments on missions, and going as far as almost getting found out by your Jedi Master.

Part of you couldn’t put your finger on what made you so captivated by Anakin, perhaps it was his hair that rested just below his ears, or the scar on his perfectly sculpted face, or maybe his eyes that had glimmers of both hope and frustration, or even his contagious laugh and scowl.

All that you knew now was that you needed to leave the Jedi Order, cut ties with everyone you once knew, and return back home to Alderaan and shield your secret from the universe. Every single other outcome had the exact same end, you knew deep down that no matter what you would crush not just your dreams and future, but also Anakin’s.

Everything happened so fast, one minute you were spending time alone in the Jedi Temple and now you were carrying a new life inside of you.

“Anakin!” you gasped at his hands taking you by the waist “We could get caught!”

Anakin smirked and planted a soft kiss on your ear before whispering “Not if we’re quiet.”

Your cheeks started to burn and turn a deep shade of pink, truly wanting to be touched and to touch the Jedi, you gave in and made a promise to yourself to keep quiet and to never engage in such risky behaviour in the temple again.

Anakin panted and wiped the sweat from his forehead, pushing away his soft curls that stuck to the sweat, your arms reached up to him and caressed his face before dressing yourself quickly as the sound of a Jedi Masters boots came closer and closer.

An unsettling feeling started to weigh heavily in both your stomach and mind, you couldn’t figure it out - you and Anakin both just bonded and there were no issues, so why are you panicking? You haven’t been caught red-handed and you were both safe from harm.

“I love you Ani,” you whispered in Anakin’s ear, straightening your robes.

Anakin shot you a loving glance, “I love you too,” he whispered back, standing up straight with his hands behind his back.

Training became harder than it used to be, your breasts were tender and swollen making it hard to wield your lightsaber, your mind fog got in the way during your lessons when teaching the younglings, and you could no longer stand to be around food because the smell of the morning juicy apples and evening thick gravy turned your stomach upside down.

You didn’t need someone to tell you what you already knew, you could feel the life inside of you grow stronger as more time passed by, if you didn’t leave now you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself for getting in the way of Anakin’s dreams.

You stared at yourself, your robes, and your lightsaber, reflecting on everything you had learnt, everything you had been through, the younglings who looked up to you, and the masters who trusted you and fought hard to help you reach your potential as a female Jedi who didn’t discover the force until later on in childhood.

How could you throw this away? How could you waste your potential and everyone’s time? How could you successfully live a lie?

Obi-Wan was behind you with his hand resting on your shoulder, his soft voice breaking you from your ocean of thoughts.

“Is everything alright, Y/N?”

The once young and ambitious apprentice who found you on Hoth with his kind and caring Master Qui-Gon, now a master who could see the way you looked at his padawan Anakin and the way he looked back.

If you had to announce your leave to anyone without fear of crushing them, surely it would be him, right?

Swallowing hard and closing your eyes for a moment, you let out a big sigh and turned around slowly to face him, opening your eyes to meet his concerned gaze felt like tiny needle pricks spread across your chest. You were scared of letting him down.

“It’s not Master,” you admitted, taking your lightsaber out and handing it to him “something has happened and I must return to my home.”

Obi-Wan glanced down at your lightsaber and then back at you, not taking it “To Alderaan? What requires you to return there-”

“I cannot say,” you interrupted “but I must go, please make this easy for Ani-Anakin to understand. I care for him deeply and my absence could get in the way of his success.”

Obi-Wan studied you closely, his suspicions had been confirmed and while he wanted to scold you and approach his Padawan -  he could sense that there was something much more going on than attachment. You were also aware of him and Satine, Obi-Wan knew you would never speak of it out of respect for him, so he nodded his head and refused to press you further on the matter.

He gently accepted your lightsaber although he wanted nothing more than to give it back, knowing what you endured on Hoth.

“Will you be needing any assistance?”

You shook your head “No, I’m a pretty good pilot thanks to your Padawan.” you smiled sadly, walking away.

Obi-Wan broke out into a smile, “May the force be with you,” he said quietly.

Looking back at him with your tear-filled eyes, you waved “and also with you.”

“How long can we keep this up, Ani?” you asked sleepily, your head resting on his rising and falling chest.

Anakin looked down at you and ran his fingers through your hair “for as long as we can, my love,” he replied softly “one day we may even get married-”

“Married?!” you gasped in disbelief “How could we hide such a thing? I want to show you off as my husband with pride, not hide it.”

Ani stayed quiet, the plans of him proposing swirling through his head again, wondering when and where would be the right time, asking himself if you would even say yes.

“One day we won’t ever have to hide it,” he mumbled “attachments aren’t such a bad thing-”

You sat up in his bed and started to get upset, you truly loved Anakin but you knew that having a family was too dangerous for a well-known Jedi who had money placed on their death.

“They are when you lose someone you care about,” you whispered

Anakin sat up too, retracting his hand from your hair.

“I know what it’s like to lose that someone-”

“Anakin I’m not saying you haven’t-”

Anakin continued to speak “I lost my mother, who I cared for deeply - that loss hasn’t stopped me from falling for you, has it?”

“No-”

“I’m afraid to lose you, Y/N, why do you think I train so hard? You and my mother are my motivation to become a powerful Jedi, to stop people from dying-”

You put your head in your hands and pressed your closed eyes into your palms, tiny little stars spreading across in front of you.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Ani, I don’t want the pain of losing you to become real.”

“She left?!” Anakin freaked and paced around the room, no longer able to control his emotions “And you didn’t tell me!”

“Y/N left because she had to.” His Master replied calmly “she is safe Anakin, that is all you need to know.”

“All I need to know?!” Ani huffed “She cannot get by on her own! You’ve seen how I’ve come to her aid on missions-”

Obi-Wan raised his hand, outstretching his palm.

“If we did not feel it would be safe for her, she wouldn’t have gone alone, Anakin. Y/N is quite capable of taking care of herself.”

Anakin shook his head and clenched his jaw, his hands bunching into tight fists.

“If anything happens to her-”

“Nothing is going to happen Anakin -  if it did you know that we would do our very best to help her.”

The guilt pained you every moment of every single day, the bigger your bump became, the bigger the guilt of leaving Anakin without explanation came back to bite you.

Your pregnancy wasn’t easy - how could it? You were alone, in a small house that struggled to trap and create heat as you were surrounded by the snowy mountains, and you relied heavily on those around you to help fetch your food and furniture for your child’s room.

With each kick, wriggle, and movement your child gave you, you placed your hand on your bump, closed your eyes and imagined that Anakin was with you; bringing you to tears and falling down on your knees.

Tensions were building up and you heard the rumours of war, death, and violence - you had seen it all already on your missions with Anakin and his master Obi-Wan and you knew just how brutal they could be; you were on death’s door more than once thanks to General Grievous, Count Dooku and  Ventriss.

You started to question what universe you were bringing your child into and if leaving the Jedi order and continuing your pregnancy was the right choice.

“Do you see yourself having children?” Anakin asked you one evening.

The two of you sitting on the balcony enjoying your time off whilst your masters were in an important meeting.

The soft breeze stroked your hair back behind your shoulder, you didn’t want to react the same way that you did to his marriage question which resulted in the both of you not speaking for a week.

“I’d like to,” you replied, “one day when it’s safe enough for me to raise them.”

A small smile crept upon his face, you caught it in the corner of your right eye and started to blush, trying not to get shy.

‘he’s thinking of me becoming a mother?’

Anakin often thought about the day you would announce that you were carrying his child, the months he could count done and watch see your bump grow, the day when you would finally go into labour and cradle the product of love you both made in your protective arms.

“I see myself having children,” Ani admitted “I often believe that I’ll be a better father than Jedi.”

Going into labour was long, stressful, and painful. You were standing up from the table and felt water burst from within you, trickling down your legs and forming into a puddle on the floor. You tried not to panic but knowing that you were alone and had no one to help you deliver this baby, you couldn’t help but panic.

Anakin had nightmares, similar to that of his mother dying, but instead, you were on the floor, screaming and crying, calling out his name. Your face was pale and your skin clammy, your eyes slowly going dim before he would wake up drenched in sweat.

Anakin often sensed something else around him, a deep pull that he couldn’t recognise or explain, he could feel its fear, its happiness, he could feel it entirely disappear the closer you got into your labour.

Closing your eyes, you tried to reach out, begging for Qui-Gon despite him being gone, begging for Obi-Wan, begging for any Jedi master that you could to come and help you, save you from dying before you could bring your child into this world and see their father in their eyes.

Unable to stop yourself from pushing, you tried to control your breathing and tugged up your skirt from covering your knees so you could pull down your soaked underwear, beads of sweat formed across your forehead and chest.

“Please-” you cried, feeling faint “Please-”

Darkness. Darkness everywhere. No one and nothing, until the cries of your child pierced your ears, and the feeling of someones hand supporting your back so you weren’t laying out cold on the floor.

Slowly opening your eyes, you were stunned, Obi-Wan was supporting you and holding your child in his arms, his eyes staring down at his Padawans offspring.

“It’s a boy,” Obi-Wan smiled again.

“Obi-Wan?!”

Obi-Wan smiled and turned to face you, he handed you your newborn gently, you opened out your arms and pulled your baby into your chest, the very sight of him bringing you to tears.

Most newborns looked nothing like their parents or relatives for weeks, months even, you were a blank canvas until you were twelvemonths old - but not your son. No. He was Anakin from his ambitious eyes, his nose, full lips, and ahead of thick, sandy blonde hair.

“He looks just like him,” he said softly.

There it was. The guilt again.

“H-How is he?” you croaked.

Since leaving, Anakin continued to work hard but his bouts of inappropriate anger and mood swings got him into trouble, he was still just as ambitious and passionate as you remembered, but he refused to be around women again.

“We handed him the task of being Senator Amidala’s bodyguard, he refused,” Obi-Wan explained, watching your tiny bundle of joy reach out to grab your finger.

“And Ahsoka?”

Obi-Wan sighed “she gets disappointed and fed up at times but he refuses to fail her.”

“Good,” you replied “Ahsoka has just as much potential as her master.”

As the years went by more and more civilians were being murdered, tortured, caught in the middle of a war they had no involvement in. Children without parents, wives without husbands, parents without children, Alderaan was slowly turning into shambles and many other planets were being obliterated one by one.

Screaming, blasters and yelling filled your area and you knew that you had to try and flee or hide if running was no longer an option.

“Luke!” you panicked, grabbing your son’s bag and stuffing it with food and clothes “Luke we need to go now!”

A small boy with soft skin and long blonde hair peeked from behind the door, his eyes were wide and full of fear, his tiny hands were shaking.

“Mummy I’m scared,” he started to cry, slowly walking towards you.

Quickly zipping up his bag you lifted up his chin with your finger, the fright on his face hurt you so deeply - reminding you of Anakin and the face he might’ve pulled at the announcement of your departure.

Luke was just like his father, from his looks to his laugh, to how he talks, sometimes you questioned if any part of you was in him at all. He often asked if he had a dad and why he only had a mother - you had no choice but to lie - if the wrong ears caught wind of a baby Skywalker, you’d lose him before he could even have a chance.

“Baby,” you said calmly “we need to leave, you’re going to keep this bag on your back and hold onto my hand tight.”

More screaming. More crying. More yelling. More banging. More shooting.

Tears started to pool in his eyes, making his vision go glassy.

“Mummy-”

“Luke, you need to listen to me,” you tried to keep calm “you keep your head down at all times and keep walking, run if I start running, and do not say a word to anyone. Okay?”

Luke started to nod, his tiny hand reached up to wipe his tears, you pulled him into your arms and planted a kiss on his forehead, catching the scent of his hair.

You couldn’t lose him, you’d rather die than lose the only part of Anakin you have left.

“If we get split up, you run and run and don’t stop until you find somewhere safe where you can hide. I will come for you but if I’m not back by sunrise-” your own voice started to crack “you keep on running until you see a man that looks like Uncle Ben.”

Before you could say anymore, a loud blast rang through the air, the ground shook and your door flew from its hinges. Your house was filled with tall, strong men and scary looking droids that you hadn’t seen in years.  

Pulling Luke’s arm you took off running towards the back door but stopped when you turned around to see that your son was frozen; his bag was on the floor, his hands covered his eyes and his loud cries pierced your chest.

Some mothers left their children in these moments, yours did - but as desperate as you were to live, you were more than ready to die if it meant Luke got to see another second or minute before the two of you would be nothing more than a number, a statistic, a victim.

Falling to your knees in front of him, you threw your arms around Luke, shielding him from the yellow eyes staring at you in the dark, from the blasts and hands that reached out to grab you.

You closed your eyes, remembering his eyes, his soft skin, the smell of his hair, the sound of his laugh, bringing you an image of what life could have been with his father - on another planet at a different time; Luke playing with ships as his father taught him everything he knew about flying, and days outside watching Anakin chase Luke and tickle him.

“Do you see yourself having children?”

Say no. Don’t give him hope.

“I’d like to,” you replied, “one day when it’s safe enough for me to raise them.”

How could you be that deep in denial?

“I see myself having children,” Ani admitted “I often believe that I’ll be a better father than Jedi.”

Tell him he’s being foolish, that he can’t be both.

“I love you Ani,” you whispered in Anakin’s ear.

Take it back.

“I love you too,” he whispered back.

Don’t believe him.

“attachments aren’t such a bad thing-”

End it now.

“They are when you lose someone you care about,”

End it. Now.

Luke’s cries and screams were all you could hear as hands reached out, clutching around your arms and neck in an attempt to pull you away. You could feel your child moving away from you, you tried to pull him closer to you but it was no use.

“Not him!” you cried out “You can take me, don’t hurt my son!” you begged.

Anakin’s face dropped at the sight of a large bruise peeking from underneath your sleeve, he took hold of you and yanked up the fabric, your black and blue arm now on full display.

“Ani! Stop!” you hissed, pulling back your arm and stepping back.

“Y/N, you told me you handled it, who did this to you?”  Anakin demanded, closing in on you.

You started to tear up, remembering what happened when you outsmarted another apprentice you were left alone to train with.

“No more missions,” Anakin answered for you, his face suddenly softening as you began to cry.

You shook your head “It wasn’t on a mission, Ani…”  You slowly pulled off your vest and revealed the bruises on your chest and down your spine.

“It was someone we train with.”

The protective rage Anakin felt that day came back in full swing when he found your life and his sons being drained.

He moved fast and didn’t miss a beat, swinging his lightsaber, blocking bullets and sending them flying backwards, using his hands to push them away so forcefully they fell apart and collapsed into pieces.

Anakin’s heart became warm and joyful, yet full of hurt, terror and rage at the sight of you.

You were barely alive, but you had been alive this entire time, in one piece - Anakin’s nightmares often showed you broken and bloody, in pieces and unrecognisable.

At the very sight of the young boy, he could finally recognise the strange pull he had felt inside of him since the day you left - he knew that the boy was his. He had a son.

You scrunched your eyes shut, gripping onto Luke as the sound of the screams and bodies falling to the ground finally ceased, you were afraid that someone much worse had come along and was saving you best for last - or even planning to take you away and torture you for answers you didn’t have.

“Y/N,” a familiar voice called out softly “it’s okay, you can open your eyes.”

You felt as if the wind had been knocked out of you, as if someone’s hands were wrapped around your throat, choking you.

The voice belonged to Anakin.

Slowly opening your eyes, a tall man stood in front of you, his hair now long and styled like Qui-Gon’s and small bristles started to form a beard. His shoulders were much broader and his eyes were darker, appearing to be more tired. The scar on his face was no longer a pale purple, but now a shade of white.

“Ani,” you gasped in disbelief “it’s you.”

Anakin slowly walked over and fell onto his knees, tears of joy and hurt streamed down his face, he pulled you into his arms and squeezed you, his nose brushing against your ear.

“I never thought I’d see you again,” he cried.

“I’m sorry for leaving,” you replied, also crying “I had to”

“To protect our son,” Anakin barely spoke out, slowly pulling away.

Luke had his hands cupped over his eyes and he was still shaking and crying out of fear, his hair stood up in all directions and his bag was now covered in soot and blood.

“Luke,” you said calmly “it’s okay now, you can open your eyes.. there’s someone who is here to see you.”

Anakin felt sick, his palms were clammy and his eyes continued to pool with tears, he watched as his own son slowly removed his hands from his face, his big eyes staring back at him like a reflection in a mirror.

Anakin couldn’t believe what who in front of him - his future, his product of love, his tie to you forever.

“I am your father,” Ani announced softly, holding out his hand.

Luke glanced at his father’s outstretched hand and then back into his eyes, instead of taking his hand, he ran into his arms, placing his tiny arms around him and snuggling his face into his father’s chest.

Anakin held Luke, stroking his hair and planting a soft kiss on his head.

You watched, fearful of Anakin pulling away and saying goodbye, the doubts and guilt over what you had done started to sting at your heart.

“We need to leave,” Anakin said, pulling away from the close embrace and reaching out to hold your hand.

You didn’t refuse and instead, you squeezed his hand; ready to start again.

“As long as I’m alive, the two of you will never be in danger again.”

- - -

“I love you,” Anakin said softly as you brushed his hair in the garden, the two of you watching Luke play with his toy ships.

“I love you too, Ani,” you replied, feeling the baby inside you kick their feet.

“Do you have any names picked out?” he asked.

You paused for a moment before tying back his hair into a loose bun “for a girl, I like Leia.”