Every Friend Group Should Include

A bimbo

A mean bisexual

An even meaner lesbian

She/Theys

He/Theys

A token straight that’s on thin ice

An astrology bitch who has everyone’s birth chart memorized

And a short king

Mean Girls

Your bum is attached to the cold, hard plastic seat beneath you

Your eyes are glued to the string in front of you and you hope that one day you’ll become a charm on that string

but until then, your eyes are glued to her.

Your voice changes

You mimic and follow

Your hair is different now

Even the way you walk is different

You reek of some odor that is too floral and fragrant and it makes you stink, but why don’t they?

Pieces of metal hang from your ears.

Congratulations, you’re a charm on that piece of string now!

But you’re a black charm. Not pink.

Hey! At least you’re next to the biggest one right?

No. You’re the only one on the left side. The pink charms are all glued together on the right.

You try to join the other pink charms, hoping they’ll paint you pink like them, but the big charm in the middle blocks you.

The only way to make it to the other side is to come off the string.

But wait, you won’t be apart of the string anymore.

Exactly.