love the old comics because I got to the point in Avengers where Wanda, Pietro, and Clint joined and this is basically how it went:
Steve: *returns from being trapped in South America with no way home, having spent several days/weeks literally fighting snakes and jaguars in the wild before finally managing to find a ride out of the jungle and get a plane home. also he had a teenager with him the whole time he was basically just babysitting
Steve:It’s great to be back. Let’s go tell the Avengers I’m alive since none of them went look for me and teenager that’s with me. I can’t wait to see what business they’re attending to.
Thor: *is absent and dealing with some Asgard stuff*
Hank and Janet: *clearly packing their bags*
Tony: Oh great, you’re back. We’re holding a press conference about the fact that we just hired Hawkeye, the Scarlet Witch, and Quicksilver as Avengers, even though up until this point all three of them have only been villains, because the rest of us are going on vacation. You’re going to supervise them while we’re gone, Steve. We did not actually vet them to make sure they aren’t still villains, good luck!
You pull up to your cozy cabin, late into the evening after a long day at work…but you spot your best friend looming over your home! You get out your truck, he smiles nervously “Hey! There you, look, no time to explain but can I hide out here for a bit…I can’t stop growing!”
When you win a VIP package to meet some of your favorite NFL QBs, you may get more of a one on one experience than you were hoping for. (Originally Written in Sept 2020)
I had always been a big football fan, which is why I could not pass up the opportunity for a meet a greet with some quarterbacks currently playing in the league. It seemed too good to be true; all of the current NFL quarterbacks were all together for a media appearance, casually throwing the football, messing around with each other, and overall putting on a show for the cameras, and I won a VIP pass to the event with the chance for a private meeting with a group of them after.
Each of the guys more or less wore casual street clothes or gym type attire. Your typical high end designer sneakers, shorts, fitted t-shirts, and ball cap look. I watched from the sidelines as the guys slowly worked up a bit of a sweat doing the different drills. Though it wasn’t too hot of a day, their moderate activity was enough for them to noticeably glisten a bit. I looked around and saw the other VIP pass winners. The VIP pass says that each of us had the chance to meet with our own select group of the QBs, selected at random. I couldn’t wait until the event was over so I could see who I got to meet!
As the media event continued, I noticed that the QBs would talk with each other in between drills, looking at us VIP winners, and then to each other a few times as they did. It seemed almost as they were talking about us to each other - but we were nobody, and they were star athletes! They couldn’t possibly care enough to talk about us could they?
An air horn signaled the end of the event, and my heart jumped. It was finally time for me to see who I would get to meet! The group of QBs seemed to confer with each other a little before smiling at each other and giving each other high fives, slaps on the back - you know, typical football player stuff. The group dispersed, and started trotting over towards the sideline where us VIP members stood. The QBs seemed to scan us over, almost as if they were looking for something or someone. This makes sense though, because they were assigned to us, so they had to find they VIP winner to meet, I thought.
Suddenly, I noticed Baker Mayfield looking at me, a slight smirk appeared on his face, and then he approached me. “What’s up man?” Baker asked. I barely managed a wave back. One by one more guys followed suit - glancing or looking me over before trotting over to say hi. Josh Allen, then Mason Rudolph, followed by the rookie Joe Burrow. Then - could it be? I see two final QBs walking my way - the two who had played in the most recent super bowl: Jimmy Garoppolo and Patrick Mahomes! How lucky was I!?
With the group set, the meet and greet was ready. “Ready to get going?” Mason asked his fellow QBs. I looked at the other groups and noticed that they seemed to be meeting right there on the field. “Where are we going? Aren’t we just doing the meet and greet here? The others seem to be staying here on the field” I replied. “Oh yea, see you won the VIP of VIP passes,” Mason said with a slight smile, almost a smirk. “Yea - we are going to give you a special tour - you get to see the locker room,” Josh added. WOAH - I get this kind of special treatment!? It must really be my lucky day, I thought to myself.
“Come on, let’s get going,” Jimmy said anxiously. The group of us headed down the tunnel and into the locker room. There was absolutely nobody else around, which I thought seemed odd for an event like this. Whatever, more one on one time for me! The locker room was pretty elaborate - each NFL QB had their own space with their name on it. NFL players aren’t necessarily the neatest, so there were shoes, socks, underwear, shirts - you name it strewn all around the floor. Understandably, it smelled a little like a gym.
“So before we get started on the uh, tour, there is just one thing we should do first” Joe said while the others snickered. I didn’t even have enough time to register why they were all laughing the way they were before I saw a bright flash that blinded me for what felt like minutes. While I was waiting to regain my sight, I listed to the voices of the athletes that I had been with. I thought that maybe they were trying to figure out what had happened too - but as I listened I noticed their tone didn’t sound that of concern, but rather excitement and awe.
“Dude, it worked” one of them said. “I told you it would man!” another replied. My sight slowly started to come back to me, but as it did, it only left me more puzzled. Where am I? I recognized the color on the floor and walls, but everything seemed…..more spread out and, bigger somehow. I turned around to try and get my bearings, and I was quickly met with my cruel reality. Directly in front of me was a massive Jordan sneaker that towered above my head. I could see the detail on the leather directly in front of my face.
“What the…” I mumbled to myself, trailing off as my head followed the massive sneaker up. Above the sneaker was a black Nike socked ankle, that led to a leg, then to shorts, and then to - the face of SuperBowl MVP Patrick Mahomes. He looks down at me smirking. In that moment I look around and realize - I am surrounded by varying sneakers that lead up to smirking faces. The group of QBs are surrounding me, looking down, and clearly enjoying the view.
“Hey lil’ guy” Baker teased.
“Dude - he is like 2 inches tall” Josh said, almost laughing.
“Yea - almost the size of my big toe” Joe added, lifting his sneaker teasingly above me.
“Shut up rookie - nobody asked you,” Mason teased, “Besides, you gotta wait your turn.”
Mason pushed Joe out of the way and stood directly in front of me. He had a cocky, devilish smirk on his face that showed just a bit of teeth. He suddenly lifted his foot up and raised it above me. I could see the treads of the high-top grey vans that he wore. They were dirty, with specks of dirt stuck in some of the waffled treads. His face, along with the other onlooking athletes were eclipsed by this massive sole. I had been paralyzed by the impossibility of the situation until the shadow of the sole blocked out my light. I snapped into reality, and realized the danger of the situation. I screamed and tried to run. It was no use at my size. Mason’s sole met my tiny body and forced me onto my back so that my face was directly buried into his sole. He gently, and playfully rolled me a bit under his sole, slowly increasing pressure as he did. At first it was just enough to prevent me from moving, but as he increased pressure I started to have a hard time breathing, and was worried I would have bones start to crack. I couldn’t scream - hell, I couldn’t even breathe! Is this how it ends? So quickly, and under the sole of a cocky NFL player?
“Quit hogging him, man!” Jimmy said as he pulled Mason back. By the look on Mason’s face, Jimmy just saved my life. If he hadn’t pulled Mason away, I would be a smear on the floor and mush in those waffle treads. I was so thankful for Jimmy in this moment. That moment was short lived.
I heard a loud gurgley, sucking sound. I looked up to see Jimmys face above me with his lips pursed. Suddenly, a massive glob of spit appeared on his lips, and dropped directly onto me. I was absolutely drenched. I heard laughter from the guys as they witnessed my disgust. Jimmy took just the toe of the converses he wore, and gently smeared me in his spit. “You guys give it a try” Jimmy said to the others as he removed his toe from my tiny form.
One by one, each of the guys took their turn spitting on me. Baker spit an extra thick one. Josh the biggest, wettest glob of them all. Joe’s seemed to create a single strand from his mouth to my body. Mason teasingly gurgled his spit before drenching me in it. Patrick spit a few times, for good measure.
This was vile. Every fraction of my tiny body was immersed in this cocktail of athlete spit and mucus. The viscous liquid made movement hard. Not only did it cover every part of me, but the immediate area around me as well so there was no escaping it. I thought perhaps they were done - I was so wrong.
Following suit from Jimmy, one by one they took their turns smearing me in the spit with the soles of their shoes. Josh’s Nike Airmax’s. Mason’s Vans, again. Patrick’s Jordans. Baker’s Nike Airs, and Joe’s Allbirds. Each sole seemingly more dirty and worn than the last. Thankfully, nobody applied too much pressure - even Mason - but that didn’t change the fact that they each smeared me deeper and further into their spit. I was rolled in it, again and again. It was in my eyes. My mouth. My nose. Everywhere. I could taste it. Smell it. Feel it. There was no escaping it.
Finally, the last sole left me, and I was left - panting and pathetic on the floor.
“I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t really feel him under there. I think I want to give this another try…” Jimmy said as he removed his shoes. He placed his damp, socked foot directly on top of me and pressed down. I was forced directly into the damp fabric of his sweaty sock. Each of the other guys lit up, and began to remove their sneakers too. As before, they each took their turn burying me under their sweaty socks. Black socks. White socks. Dri-fit. No shows. Ankle height. All of the varieties felt the same from my perspective - sweaty, smelly, and nasty.
“I’ll do you one better,” Joe said. He removed his socks to reveal his bare foot. He mockingly wiggled his toes and then slammed his foot down onto me. Not enough to seriously hurt me, but enough to make an impression on the other guys. The guys loved this idea too, and began removing their socks. They took their turns using their toes to play with me, or rolling me under their soles. Their soles were soft to the touch, and left me with a salty taste in my mouth. The smell was exactly what you would imagine from an athlete that just finished running drills. It seemed to surround me. They continued to smear me in there spit, mucus, and now foot sweat for quite a bit of time. Finally, they seemed to be done.
“He looks fucking nasty man,” Josh said looking down at me in disgust.
“I dare you to put him in your mouth” Baker said to Josh, raising his eyebrows and smirking as he did.
“Man, that’s nasty - that is like making out with you all! Not to mention everyone’s nasty foot funk! No way!” Josh protested.
“Come on! Do it!” Joe said. “Yea, come on! Don’t be a pansy” Mason said. They each egged him on one my one until they all broke out into a chant of “do it, do it, do it!”
“Alright! Shut up already!” Josh said with his eyes locked on me. He squatted down and his massive hand came down to retrieve me. His huge, trunk-like fingers curled under me and allowed me to gently roll into his palm. His hand was surprisingly soft for a football player, with the exception of a slight callous where his fingers met his palm - from working out no doubt. His hands were warm and slightly moist. I looked up at his smile with his eyes locked on me. The others brought their faces in close too. This was all so surreal. The expanse of the palm of his hand was overwhelming. Behind me the palm led to his fingers shooting into the sky, with ominous faces of the others smirking down at me beyond them. In front of me, just beyond the heal of his palm, is Josh’s face, smiling playfully at me with his eyes locked on me.
Josh reached for me with his other hand. He picked me up between his thumb and forefinger and lifted me off his palm. He brought me up to his face and then slightly above. His mouth parted, revealing his soft pink tongue and rows of white teeth. He let go and I plummeted. It felt like hundreds of feet, when in reality it was only a couple inches. I screamed until I landed on the surface of his moist tongue. I looked up and out of his mouth, just in time to see the lips close, sealing me inside. I waited on his tongue in darkness for a moment. I heard and felt his breathing around me and there was a slight smell of gatorade. It was hot, and damp. Suddenly his tongue jolted to life. He began rolling me around his mouth - no doubt showing off to his buddies. I was rolled from cheek to cheek and pressed against the roof of his mouth. He made audible smacking noises as he did.
On the outside, the guys were enthralled with what they were watching - Josh actually had a tiny person IN HIS MOUTH! They watch the lump rolling around as Josh put on a show for them. Suddenly the rolling stopped and Josh tilted his head back, and his adam’s apple bobbed.
I screamed as I was rolled around. There had to be a way out! Suddenly everything stopped - was he finally going to take me out? Then, his tongue lifted up and I began to slide towards his uvula and back of his throat. Oh my god - is this it? Is he going to eat me? At the last minute, his tongue shifted me safely to his cheek pocket, but I still felt and heard an audible gulp.
“Dude…did you just….” Patrick asked Josh. Josh just smiled back.
They all stared in shock for a moment until Josh started to laugh, and spit me back out into his waiting palm.
“HAHA! I had you all going! You should have seen your faces!” Josh said laughing and teasing the others. “Since you are all so gullible, I think it is only fair that YOU all have to put him in your mouths too.”
There was a pause while the guys looked at each other. Finally, Mason walked up and unceremoniously plucked me up out of Josh’s palm and tossed me in his mouth. He made exaggerated slurping and sucking sounds as he played with me before spitting me out into his palm. His hand was similar to Josh’s in its softness and size. Then, Joe approached and picked me up from Mason’s palm. He lifted me up high and dangled me by my legs. He opened his mouth as wide as he could, and slowly lowered me in. I could see all the way into the dark abyss of his throat clearly. Once in his mouth, he toyed with me similar to the others. Patrick put his open palm out signifying it was his turn. Joe spit me out into his palm. Patrick lowered his face to me and wrapped his lips around my legs. He then slowly slurped me into his mouth like a piece of spaghetti. After he had his fun, he spit me out into his palm and Jimmy quickly snatched me. He held me in his palm as he examined me for a while. Then, without warning, he tossed me into his mouth like he was taking a pill. He pretended to chew me a little with his perfect white teeth. From the outside, it appeared exaggerated, but to me inside, it was just enough for me to feel his teeth, but it inflicted minimal harm.
“Alright assholes, it’s my turn” Baker announced. Jimmy spit me out into baker’s waiting palm. Baker’s palm was a little rougher than the others, but still relatively soft. His hands were also a little bit colder and slightly more clammy. Baker stared at me. He looked at me with his signature smirk that just didn’t seem to set well with me. He held me there a while seemingly contemplating something. He examined me closely, rolling me a round a bit in his palm. Then, to my surprise, he spoke….to me.
“Enjoying the meet and greet bud? Is it everything you dreamed of?” He said, the words evolving into laughter as he finished.
“Please - stop this! Help me!” I screamed back. I don’t know if they couldn’t hear me, or if they just didn’t care, but they did not even acknowledge my response.
Baker picked me up with his thumb and forefinger, and brought me to his lips. He mockingly licked his lips and snickered, which also evoked a laugh from the others. Again, this just didn’t set well with me and felt….somehow different from the others. Baker opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue as far as it could go. His stubbled chin was blocked by his elongated tongue, rolled out like a red carpet to greet me. I looked up to see his teeth - his front teeth with the slight gap in it and then darkness behind them. He placed me face first onto his tongue. His tongue was soft like the others, but seemed to be wetter, almost like he was….salivating. I then thought I heard a subtle “mmm” come from him. The other’s didn’t seem to notice.
I turned myself around so I could see out of his mouth. Beyond his teeth and lips, I could see the smiling faces of the 5 other athletes all huddled around to see me in there. Some laughed. Some seemed to pity my pathetic form. Others just stared with intent interest.
Baker’s tongue began to retract as I was pulled further into his mouth. His lips sealed and I was trapped once again. His tongue sprung to life as he rolled me around and sucked on me like the others had done. He pressed me against his teeth. Rolled me from cheek to cheek. Let saliva pool around me on his tongue, only to have it melt away and down his throat. This went on for a few minutes until…stillness.
Now baker opened his eyes again after enjoying tasting me and looked at the others.
I felt his tongue jolt to action again - he was speaking, though he was careful to keep me in his mouth.
“See, you wanna know the difference between me and you all?” Baker asked the others rhetorically. It was somewhat hard for them to understand him between the slurps, smacks, and him talking with his mouth full. “The difference is you all are pansies, and I am not” Baker continued as another one of his signature smirks appeared on his face with his eyebrows raised again. The others were confused at first by what he meant.
Inside, Baker’s speaking tossed me all around. I couldn’t understand what he was saying because it was too booming for me to interpret. Suddenly, his talking stopped. I felt his head tilt back, just like Josh had done before. I began to slide once gain. I could see his uvula getting closer. Unlike before, I still had the uneasy feeling in my gut, and I began to panic. I got closer to the uvula and throat. I kept waiting for his tongue to slide me to the safety of his cheek like Josh had done, but I just got further and further to the back. Then, reality set in: he was actually going to swallow me. I screamed at this realization and fought with everything I had. My face met his uvula and I tried to grab on, but it was too slippery. Then, I heard a gulp and felt the uvula push me down. I was forced into the small opening of his throat, but managed to prevent myself from going all the way down. With about ¼ of my body down his throat, another audible gulp, and more pressure from his uvula above. I am barely hanging on now. Finally, with one las hard and loud gulp the rest of my struggling, squirming, form slipped down Baker’s throat as he swallowed me whole.
On the outside, the others watched as Baker closed his eyes again. He tilted his head back and the watched as his adam’s apple bobbed once.
“Very funny, I already did that trick,” Josh said. Baker didn’t reply. He just gulped a second time. The others got in closer and looked at each other when they realized - he was actually doing it! He was swallowing the pathetic thing! Finally, they watched one more time as he did he final gulp - the biggest and loudest of the three. They watched a lump appear in his thick neck, and then disappear into his buff chest. Baker opened his eyes, and leveled his head again and smiled. He looked at the others, opened his mouth, and stuck out his tongue to reveal it was empty.
“See? I told you all. Pansies.” Baker said with a half smile.
The others erupted.
“OH MY GOSH!”
“HE REALLY DID IT!”
“DUDE HE ATE HIM!”
They all shouted to each other, shocked at what they saw, though clearly impressed.
“Weird man - I can feel him squirming in there” Baker said as he put a hand on his belly.
Inside, as I slide through his throat opening, I descended down the dark, slimy path to his stomach. It felt like an eternity, only made worse by me knowing what was waiting for me on the other end. Though I knew it was no use, I still struggled and screamed on the journey. Did this really happen? Was I actually the snack of an NFL QB? Is this how it ends? These thoughts all crossed my mind as I made my way to his stomach. Finally, I met the opening to his stomach. I squeezed through and was dropped onto the rigged, slimy surface. It was too dark to really see anything - But my other senses were quite stimulated. It was so unbearably hot, humid and stale in there. The stomach was surprisingly empty. I kept fighting to try and escape. This went on for several minutes until the stomach began churning to life - it was looking to digest me.
I felt my skin start to burn, and I got light headed. the stomach walls contracted around me, and it was getting harder to breathe…. I began fading away. Just before I lost consciousness, I swear I could hear Baker say “later, dude” followed my the laughter of the others.
Baker was a hero to the other guys - this was the first time they were able to shrink somebody, and he actually ATE him! They praised him, asked him questions about what it felt like, and talked about how pathetic and tiny I was to be swallowed by him for a while. Then, Baker let out a slight burp, looked down, patted his stomach and said “Later, dude.”
The others burst out laughing and they left the locker room.
