#heauxheauxheaux

I’m at a new stage in life where when it comes to dating I have no issues weeding out the boys who reveal themselves quickly to be misogynistic, narcissistic, etc.

I have gotten to know some great men as of lately and something I wasn’t prepared for was having to reject good men because our values or nonnegotiables do not align. I knew it was coming but nothing could’ve prepared me for it.

There is one in particular who is a total provider and protector and things were going great for a while. Everyone is charmed by him and he is gentle and sweet and is always catering to me in romantic ways. As I continued to peel the layers back of his personality I’ve come to realize that his original claims of wanting to be traditional are not true. He’s made side comments about children before marriage because some of his friends have done it so it’s “normalized” now. I simply can’t stand these views and do not want to be associated with his circle of friends even if they’re successful monetarily. In my eyes they are some sort of cancer spreading these modern ways that don’t benefit women. He’s done nothing wrong so having to break things off with him is going to be confusing for a lot of people. It’s not that I haven’t done it before, I was a little more invested with him than others and he was on the right track for a long time. I feel shitty ending things with someone so good to me and I have to remind myself that I deserve much more. I mostly hear about women ending things with men who have hurt them but in this case he hasn’t hurt me at all. I’ve just realized that there is no point in continuing to see him. On some level I feel that breaking things off with a good person is harder than someone who has done you wrong because at least then the reason is more motivating. I need to learn how to detach in a different way then I have before.

I’m debating wether to have social media again or not. I love the privacy I have had for the past two years but lately I have been reading about the importance of socialization and how it is important for health. I even keep seeing posts on Tumblr about it so it’s making me think that’s a sign I should not ignore. I do have a social life but it is mainly fitness related and a bit business related. I’m starting to realize that I may be limiting myself and that I can expand my network if I don’t keep to myself to an extreme like I usually do. Maybe there is a balance I can discover and still be happily private while participating in social media. I’m thinking a great example of this would be Lori Harvey and keep my mystery. Maybe deleting my social media and taking a break to reset and reassess my public appearance was meant to happen so that I could get to this point? I’ve learned to categorize people because of this and set clear (low)expectations for people and I have been much happier because of it.