#hypergamous
Repeat after me!
I will never stop being a goddess unapologetically.
I will never let anyone hinder me from reaching my full potential and to touch my potent energy.
I will forever strive for myself. I am at the height of my climb and there are mountains yet to see.
-Thy Diva
I don’t dream of labor…
How To Choose The Right Perfume for you
“Perfumes are like colours.”
In the same way, not all colours suit our skin tone. Not all perfumes will marry our natural body smell.I used to buy perfumes based on what was trending at the moment.
Advertising and Marketing had a lot to do with that, but now I have a different approach that I am going to share in this blog post.
1.Don’t fall into the trap of Marketing
Sometimes, the packaging, the bottle, and the colours can seduce you and get you to buy a perfume before even you get to smell it.
But you really should not judge a book by its cover. I tried on perfume that had an incredible presentation but was not that great.
2.Shop for perfumes alone
When you go shopping with other people. It is easy to get distracted and eveninfluenced by their opinion. It is best to go perfume shopping alone. It’ll be easier for you to make the right choice for yourself. Without any noise or distraction around you to influence you.
3.Try the perfume on your Hand…
Wait a few hours to see how the perfume alchemizes with your natural body smell.If you still like the smell on your skin, you can safely purchase the perfume knowing that you will enjoy putting it on every day.
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How To Protect Yourself From Negative Energy
Protecting yourself from negative low vibrational energy has become a difficult task. The more you are trying to be a positive person, the more life throws curveballs your way. People will test you, but the key is trying your best not to let them bring out the worst in you.
*Negative energy attracts negative energy. Whatever you put out there comes back around, good or bad. That is the law of karma.*
These are the 4 ways I protect my energy at all times.
Stay Away From Gossip
.Gossip paints an impression on someone, which leads to judging people. When you start to judge people before getting to know their truth, it reflects poorly on you.
When you harbour negative feelings about someone in your mind, it either causes you to be passive-aggressive towards them. Or may lead to resentment, both these things breed negative energy.
Don’t Go Where You Don’t Feel Welcome.
Even if no one has outrightly told you not to be around them. You must trust your instincts, feelings and intuition. Energy and vibrations can be felt easily in a room. If the vibe feels off to you, do yourself a favour and leave.
There is no use forcing yourself to be social with people who don’t care if you are there or not. Other people value your presence in their lives and those are the kind of people you need to focus on.
Avoid Lashing Out.
Some people only want to bring out the worst in you or cause you to publicly ridicule yourself. It can be difficult because we can be very impulsive when we defend ourselves.
Thinking about what you want to say before, you say it may not work all the time. Take a breather, realize the motive and then respond accordingly. You have the right to defend yourself but resist the temptation of saying things that hit below the belt in an attempt to hurt the other person. This way, you don’t speak negative things.
Meditate To Release Unwanted Energy
I meditate every day to get rid of stress, worry, and anxiety. All of which are negative emotions. I’m the type of person that is affected by emotional stress. This translates into physical discomfort for me.
Meditation has become my go-to remedy for protecting my energy because it’s a chance to release all of that unwanted energy.
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Turning Your Bedroom Into a Sanctuary
Your bedroom should be your sanctuary, a quiet retreat for you to escape and feel safe at all times. It should be a place where you unwind after a busy day at the office; a room to be alone and focus on your thoughts.
Your bedroom should aim to be a comfortable, calming place you look forward to resting after a long day. If you want to upgrade the energy in your sleep area, check out these tips on how to turn your bedroom into a sanctuary that you’ll never want to leave.
Indulge Your Senses
Turn your bedroom into a sanctuary is by creating a sensory experience.The easiest way to do this is through your sense of smell. Grab your most delicious candle or diffuse your favourite essential oils to help set the right tone.
Fill up the room with soft, plushy materials, including rugs, pillows, and throw blankets, for some extra warmth and coziness.
Consider including a small area rug around your bed. This way, your toes have something soft and cozy to land on in the morning, just as soon as you wake up. Your feet will thank you!
Nature elements have a calming, meditative feel. perfect for your bedroom sanctuary.
Nature elements have a calming, meditative feel. perfect for your bedroom sanctuary.
And there are many creative ways these elements can be incorporated into your room to create a perfect bedroom sanctuary.
You can add potted plants or vases of fresh flowers, hang imagery of nature on the walls, or incorporate textured elements through bedding, rugs, or throw blankets.
Let the Light In!
Harsh lights can instantly kill the mood you’re trying to set. So avoid using fluorescent bulbs that wash out any semblance of serenity. Instead, opt for soft or natural light to brighten up your bedroom.
Even small actions like opening a window (even for a little bit in winter times) can dramatically change the mood in your room to something calmer and more inviting.
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Black Femininity | Increasing Your Feminine Energy
Many young black girls unfortunately were raised by masculine-leading women. So, feminine energy may not come naturally to some.…
The Art of Having Elegant Manners✨
“I would like to be as good as her”
“Where does that come from ?”
“What did she have that I don’t ?”
“Why am I not like this ?”
“Is it about privilege?”
Habits That Sabotage Your Happiness
True happiness starts within you and the projected outwards not the other way around. Happiness starts and ends with you. This leads to the long-lasting type of happiness that everyone should be seeking and actively building. In this post.
Poor Self Image ✨
The way you view yourself sets the tone for how others treat you. It’s important to build your confidence in who you are and own it unapologetically.
See yourself like a star and the most important people in life. Cultivate a healthy self-image and genuinely love yourself. It makes a world of difference when you do.
Comparison✨
Another thief of joy is comparing yourself to another person. This habit is not only unhealthy but also very detrimental to maintaining a healthy mindset about yourself. You can combat this by highlighting your strengths and working on what you consider your weaknesses.
Regrets✨
For me, I have tried my best to live a life with very few regrets. I don’t have regrets about past mistakes that may be seen as character flaws but rather about opportunities I never took. So the best I can do and will recommend for anyone is to take advantage of opportunities as they present themselves in life.
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Table and Dining Etiquette Tips for Elegant Women
Our dining habits reveals a lot about ourselves, attitude, and how we are perceived by others. Good table manners, as well as dining etiquette, are required qualities for every elegant feminine woman.
What are dining etiquette & manners?
Dining etiquette and manners are basic rules for behaviour around the table. The way we eat, the way we sit, the way we treat others, and even the type of conversations we hold are all part of table etiquette and manners.
Table etiquette around the world
You should be aware that dining etiquette can vary a great deal around the world. Different cultures have different norms and rules.
When you travel abroad, or as a guest, make an effort to learn and follow the local table manners.
Top 3 Table and Dining Etiquette tips
1.Switch your phone off
When you dine with others, you should always focus on communication and conversation. Constantly checking your phone can imply that you are more interested in your device than in the people around you. Don’t be rude!
If you have an urgent call that you cannot miss, politely excuse yourself from the table and take the call to another room.
2.Wait until everyone is served before you eat
It is important to wait until everyone has been served before eating any of your food.
Take time to consider the feelings of those around you and wait before eating. If you are dining with family, friends, or your significant other, this rule applies.
3.Place the napkin on your lap
When you are sitting in a restaurant or any formal event, the first thing you should do after being seated is to put your napkin on your lap.
Remember, once the napkin is on your lap it should never be placed on the table again.
If you need to excuse yourself and leave the table for a moment, place the napkin on your chair until you get back. Before you leave the table – once the meal is finished – place the napkin delicately to the left of your plate.
Stay tuned for part 2! We’ll be going further in depth on the American, British and Conteniental styles of dinning etticate
Choosing the right colours for your skin tone
Did you know that there are different clothing colours for your skin tone? Just like choosing jewelry, you can complement your complexion with the colours you wear! This process involves looking at your undertone, hair colour, and eye colour.
Typically, most people are placed into four different seasons or colour palettes. Check out this picture below to find colour palettes that can accentuate your skin tone.
Cool Hues
Summer Wardrobe Colors
If you got summer as your season, chances are you have blue veins or light-coloured eyes. It can be a bit confusing because we relate tanned skin to summertime. However, when it comes to wearing a summer colour palette, clothing looks best on those that contain cool undertones! You probably burn easily when out in the sun. Summer wardrobe colour palette that will feel the most vibrant will be muted colours with a cool hue. You will look great in Rosey-pink lipstick and may often wear sky blue.
Winter Wardrobe Colors
On the other hand, if you are a winter, you will have dark hair, dark eyes, and a cool undertone. This undertone must not be mistaken for being fair-skinned, but rather, your skin and hair often contrast harmoniously. Winters look best in sharp, contrasting colours. They will feel the most vibrant when wearing bright colours with a cool hue. You will look good in firecracker red lipstick. Wearing a navy blue will also look great on a winter-toned person.
Warm Hues
Spring Wardrobe Colors
In contrast to the seasons above, if you are a spring, you will have a warm skin undertone and will see your veins as green. Similar to Summer, you will have light hair and light eyes (this does not refer to the colour, but rather the brightness and dimension of your hair and eyes). Spring’s tend to tan easily and have a ‘yellow hue’ or golden look’ to them. True Springs look the most vibrant in bright colours with a warm hue. You will look good in orangey-red lipstick and may often wear aqua blue.
Autumn Wardrobe Colors
Autumns will also have warm skin undertones. Unlike springs, Autumns tend to have darker hair and eyes. Theywill also tan easily. True Autumns look the most vibrant in muted colours with a warm hue. You will look good in cranberry red lipstick and often wear teal blue. After taking the quiz I found out I’m a mix of autumn and spring Colours!
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Losing friends on your level-up journey
If you began to notice that you’re keeping regular contact with fewer people than you did prior to your level up, there’s nothing to worry about. Losing friends while growing older is probably a good thing.
Here are some things you might experience as you get older and begin your level-up journey..
Ways to Overcome Low self esteem Part 2
Hey loves! You are viewing part 2 of my “How to fix low self-esteem series” CLICK HERE to view part 1!
What is low self Esteem..?
Low self-esteem is caused by feelings of unworthiness or the feeling that we are far behind where we are supposed to be in life. How did we come to decide that we are not good enough? How did we come up with the “ideal self” that we do not seem to attain?
4.Practice Gratitude
Be grateful for what you already have, be it your health, your family and friends, your home, the food you eat every day. Don’t take these things for granted.
5.Make time for yourself
Time is the most valuable thing we have because it is the only thing that no money on earth could buy. Do not spend with the wrong people! Time is better spent alone than with people who don’t appreciate and value your company.
6.Do not tolerate mediocrity from anyone!
The main reasons people tolerate mediocrity & bad behaviour. Is either because they view themselves as inferior based on superficialities or because they need validation from that person. People will only treat you the way you allow them to, so the way people treat you is your responsibility.
Boundaries We Must Set In Relationships…
“Boundaries are such an important topic because they are one of the important pillars of self-love.”
Homemaker or a Career Woman? Pros and Cons
This post was based on a question I received on my thoughts on stay-at-home moms & wives.Click here to read.
Ladies, it is essentialto know the lifestyle you want to live. If your main priority is to take care of your kids and enjoy leisure time. Then, you may prefer to be a stay-at-parent. If being a boss babe and having independence is important to you, you may prefer being an entrepreneur or having a career.
Perks of being a Career Woman
Financial Independence:
- When you make your own money, YOUcall the shots! If financial independence is important to you and gives you peace of mind a career might be for you.
- You may like the status and recognition that comes with earning your own money.
Larger social pool:
- Most stay-at-home moms hang out with their families and other stay-at-home moms. If you enjoy socializing in corporate functions a career is a better option.
- When you have a career that takes you places and into settings with a variety of people, it can be more rewarding for your career or business.
Purpose beyond family life:
- Although being a mother and wife is rewarding, some may want a life surpassing home.
- If you feel your calling is beyond being a mother and wife a career you are passionate about you fulfill that need.
- You don’t want to look back and wish you did more. Find a life that is worth living, and that includes working.. so be it.
Perks of being a Homemaker
You never miss a moment:
- When you stay at home you can be there for every moment of your kid’s childhood.
- From ballet practice to graduations to prom. You won’t miss a beat! (My mom was a stay-at-home mom for 15 years. she was there for my sibling through everything.)
Rest in your femininity:
- Feminine energy is receptive and less active than masculine energy. When you stay home and are able to live more leisurely you can rest in your femininity.
- Allows your partner to work hard for you and your family while you focus on making the house a home.
Freedom (more or less):
- You can spend the day as you wish with no other obligation than taking care of the kids, possibly making meals and maintaining the home.
- Attending meetups with other stay-at-home moms.
- picking up a profitable hobby like blogging or painting.
Disclaimer: You can be a successful ambitious woman and a stay-at-home mom, but remember: it can be very difficult to do it all at once! This can eventually lead to burnout.
My top 5 favourite Level Up Affirmations
Affirmation #1: I am uniquely created with a purpose.
You being here was not an accident. You living the life you live and coming into contact with the people you’ve met has not been an accident. Don’t go wasting it all and aimlessly moving about life. Every step you take has a purpose. You have a purpose. So live on purpose!
Affirmation #2: It is okay to say no.
It is okay to say no so that you can say yes to yourself.Yes to protect your mental space. Protect your energy. Say yes to more rest. Say yes to doing more of what you love. Spend 2022 saying yes to you more.
Affirmation #3: I am capable & I am competent.
I am challenging myself to focus less on the information or skills I may not have yet and put my energy into what I do have and can provide. Most importantly, I remember that I am capable of digesting information and developing the needed skills along the way.
How selfish is it to think that the gifts and talents you have are for you? What good is having gifts if you don’t use them and share them from time to time? You like writing and you have a story to tell but do you think you’ll just keep it all to yourself? Someone out there needs to see or hear what you have to share.
How selfish is it to think that the gifts and talents you have are for you? What good is having gifts if you don’t use them and share them from time to time? You like writing and you have a story to tell but do you think you’ll just keep it all to yourself? Someone out there needs to see or hear what you have to share.
You never know how sharing your light can significantly impact another life. God gave you these gifts and you’re going to keep them to yourself? Don’t be stingy with what the Universe/God gave you.
Affirmation #5: It may be scary, but anything is achievable.
If you are thinking about taking a leap of faith and betting on yourself, whether it’s going for that job promotion or starting that business, or moving out on your own, then go for it.
Don’t let the fear of the unknown scare you and stop you in your tracks. We spend a lot of time focusing on the fear of the “what-ifs” when we are thinking about making a change and that only leads to anxiety, procrastination, and lost time. You can never truly know what will happen until you have begun to move.
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Why you must Make Yourself a Priority
There is a lot of talk about self-care on this blog, but the truth is that self-care begins with prioritizing yourself. There are a lot of benefits to making yourself a priority. On the other hand, if you ignore your needs and put the needs of others first, many problems can arise.The consequence of putting others before yourself is people pleasing.
So Why You Need To Make Yourself A Priority?✨
If you truly want to love yourself and respect yourself, you must put yourself first. We can also influence how others treat us by how we treat ourselves. It is also important to carry yourself in a certain manner for people to treat you the same. Here are 4 ways that have helped me make myself a priority in my own life…
Create a weekly schedule
Make sure you take time for yourself! You can do anything you like, whether it is studying new things, hobbies, relaxation, crafts. Whatever your interests are, make clear time for them unapologetically. This is one of the ways you’ll begin to love yourself better since you’ll get to know yourself better.
If You Need Help, Ask!
In all this, remember to ask for help whenever necessary. Being your own priority doesn’t mean alienating yourself. Build a network of trusted and dependable friends, people you can be yourself around. Our guards are much more heightened when we’re surrounded by the wrong people and nobody needs that
Create Strong Boundaries!
Establishing boundaries will help you avoid situations you do not want to be in. The moment we do not set boundaries, we are inviting everything into our lives, good and bad alike.By knowing what matters to you, you will be able to create some boundaries. When you know yourself, putting boundaries against things that aren’t aligned will be much easier.
Learn How To Say No!
This is a part of going with the flow. Saying no and being firm about it are two important skills. Don’t give in to the temptation to do something you don’t want. Your tendency to change your mind easily is something people will recognize and know they only have to ask several times before you agree. Some ideas illustrate how to say no politely if you think giving a flat no is rude.
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5 Ways to Express Your Emotions in a Healthy Feminine Manner Pt 2
If you haven’t seen part 1 yet, CLICK HERE!
Here’s are 5 more ways to express your emotions in a healthy feminine manner.
Pamper yourself
Wash your hair, go shopping, treat yourself to a spa day. Whatever it is that helps you unwind and feel pampered do it! This isn’t a long-term solution to unresolved feelings it might be a quick fix to turn your day and mood around.
Invest in therapy
I highly encourage all women on their journey to better themselves to go to therapy.We are all the products of our childhood, and many of us have experienced trauma as children. It is your job to explore those feelings and get to the root of your issues. A therapist who has experience can help you with this!
Process your emotions
Rest and recovery should be a part of all processes. Take time to reflect on what triggered your emotional state. Dealing with your emotions is the key to healing.
Exercise
Regulating our emotions can be made easier through exercise. When we exercise, our body releases dopamine and endorphins that give us all types of good feelings of reward & pleasure. In addition to it being good for our long term health.
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End of the Year Reflection/Saying Goodbye To Sugar Dating
I meant to post this before the year ended but dating in med school has been incredibly demanding! I had a fling with a millie (one day I will meet my billie). I actually had to retake my block 2 exam because I was so wrapped up in the money I’ll record a podcast episode about it soon but for now here’s my reflection on last year and what I’m looking forward to in the future!
- When I started this blog I was a newbie in the bowl. Had no idea what sugaring really took. Didn’t even realize the difficulties I would face as a brown sugar baby. Thought it would be so easy… I’m so grateful for all the experiences good and bad because they are part of my story. This year I really wanted to take my experiences to the next level. I was able to purchase an investment property with my sugar sis, start med school, elevate my business, had a wonderful sugar daddy, start healing from past traumas & forgive myselffor staying in an abusive relationships for so long (still very much a work in progress). I love counting my blessings because it reminds me of how far I’ve come and excites me about what has yet to come.
- I love sharing my experiences and connecting with so many people who enjoy the same lifestyle and mental frequency. That being said, I’m saying goodbye to sugaring. I feel I’m at a point in my life where I am ready for the next chapter. Sugaring has been so helpful in getting me where I need to be but it’s time to transition. I talk about hypergamy often, and it just seems like a more appropriate setting for me now. My experiences in the sugar bowl have really taught me a lot about men and the dynamics between men + women.
- I have a few upcoming trips planned where I will have the opportunity to be around affluent people with millions/billions of dollars. I’ll still continue to document my journey because I’m sure it’ll be a wild ride. If you’re interested in hearing more about my decision and the reasons behind it, check put my podcast! The season finale episode is up now.
- Unfortunately I have to change the set up of my episodes. The sugar/hypergamy related episodes will be available on my public platform until the start of season 2, and then I will be moving them to a private podcast space. It will still be on Brown Sugar Doc, The Podcast but limited access. This decision was made after a few classmates bombarded me at a party about a sugar date I went on. It was very bizarre but a necessary lesson learned. So to protect my sanity I’ll be continuing to document all things hypergamy related on my private podcast. I’ll still post on my regular pod but for the hypergamy listeners, I’ll continue the journey exclusively for us.
I love everyone who has joined me at any point on this journey. More to come!
I’m at a new stage in life where when it comes to dating I have no issues weeding out the boys who reveal themselves quickly to be misogynistic, narcissistic, etc.
I have gotten to know some great men as of lately and something I wasn’t prepared for was having to reject good men because our values or nonnegotiables do not align. I knew it was coming but nothing could’ve prepared me for it.
There is one in particular who is a total provider and protector and things were going great for a while. Everyone is charmed by him and he is gentle and sweet and is always catering to me in romantic ways. As I continued to peel the layers back of his personality I’ve come to realize that his original claims of wanting to be traditional are not true. He’s made side comments about children before marriage because some of his friends have done it so it’s “normalized” now. I simply can’t stand these views and do not want to be associated with his circle of friends even if they’re successful monetarily. In my eyes they are some sort of cancer spreading these modern ways that don’t benefit women. He’s done nothing wrong so having to break things off with him is going to be confusing for a lot of people. It’s not that I haven’t done it before, I was a little more invested with him than others and he was on the right track for a long time. I feel shitty ending things with someone so good to me and I have to remind myself that I deserve much more. I mostly hear about women ending things with men who have hurt them but in this case he hasn’t hurt me at all. I’ve just realized that there is no point in continuing to see him. On some level I feel that breaking things off with a good person is harder than someone who has done you wrong because at least then the reason is more motivating. I need to learn how to detach in a different way then I have before.
I’m debating wether to have social media again or not. I love the privacy I have had for the past two years but lately I have been reading about the importance of socialization and how it is important for health. I even keep seeing posts on Tumblr about it so it’s making me think that’s a sign I should not ignore. I do have a social life but it is mainly fitness related and a bit business related. I’m starting to realize that I may be limiting myself and that I can expand my network if I don’t keep to myself to an extreme like I usually do. Maybe there is a balance I can discover and still be happily private while participating in social media. I’m thinking a great example of this would be Lori Harvey and keep my mystery. Maybe deleting my social media and taking a break to reset and reassess my public appearance was meant to happen so that I could get to this point? I’ve learned to categorize people because of this and set clear (low)expectations for people and I have been much happier because of it.
LORI IN RED
Habibi a solo date
I hope we get to experience Love like no-other in this lifetime
Vacations plus colours
Sporty and rich
Intention over attention
