Mentally combining the “bees are unionized and will leave if they don’t like their working conditions” post with the various “humans stow away on alien spaceships and do the jobs that are too dangerous for more fragile species” posts
Interstellar guidelines state that while approaching humans carelessly or aggressively can result in serious injury, and while you absolutelyshould not try to trap a swarm of humans on your ship, if you build a human-friendly habitat with enough food within grazing distance and safe places to sleep, you just might entice a colony to move in
Trapping a swarm of humans on your ship:
unauthorized tunnels keep popping up in restricted zones
theft of various items they consider cozy, delicious, cute, or extremely hazardous
equipment sabotaged in supposedly impossible ways, and/or supposedly explosion-proofed material exploding
received communications vary from heartfelt pleas for freedom to vengeful declarations of war to treatises on the sacred rights of spaceship-occupants to disturbingly specific threats to incomprehensible slam poetry
Encouraging a volunteer human colony to thrive:
leaving items they like + building materials in areas they can access, then coming back later to find those areas transformed into fully organized warehouses/gardens/workshops
items left lying around spontaneously being made cuter, cozier, tastier, and/or more hazardous
new workarounds, temp fixes, or repurposes being tried out on any equipment that’s on the fritz (and some that’s not)
disturbingly creative and fervent allies against outside forces
Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like:
“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?”
“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.”
“…Noted.”
“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.”
“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”
“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”
“Yeah.”
“Does such a process not hurt?”
“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.”
“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?”
“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?”
A crew of astronauts spend their entire lives to embark on an interstellar journey that will take 100’s of years to arrive. En route, however, technology advances. When they arrive, they find others have already arrived decades ago thanks to new tech…
Those others had arrived to find others who already arrived. And those others had found others who already arrived.
As a weird side effect, the further you draw a line to trace the new planet’s history, the younger / newer the astronaut is in respective to Earth generations.
And so, while the Earth’s first sent had their glory taken from remaining the first, it was the Earth’s first sent who were the final pioneers to complete their new home.
“You know how they have to cover themselves up at all times?”
“Yes?”
“Why do they have to do that? It’s not like they are walking on inhospitable places all the time. They could just wear a karket to cover some of their parts up”.
“… Uh…”.
“What?”
“Have you ever seen a human before?”
“Ofcourse!”
“That would answer the question”.
“It doesn’t? They have fur. They are just covering their fur”.
“They don’t have fur- where did you get that idea from?!”
“I saw a picture of them! They havefur! I heard they complain about the weather being too hot all the time. If only they wore a karketlike we do…”.
“You mean, the fur on their heads? That’s hair”.
“They have a special name for that? But the fur on their bodies is the same…”.
“For the last time, they don’t have fur! Not thick fur, at least. They like to shave”.
“That’s… Not true. I can’t think of any intelligent species without fur or scales. It would be like… Seeing exposed flesh. They don’t have exposed flesh”.
“They don’t- you know what? Look”.
“I am looking”.
“Look at this. Thisis a human! Does thislook like fur to you?!”
“W…”.
“Hm?!”
“What the fuck is that?! The fuck- the fuck?! That’s exposed flesh, but not really exposed! What are the other Earth intelligent creatures?!”
“There aren’t any other. Only humans and the robots, but they are basically the same thing”.
“You must be fucking kidding me…”.
“Show me what you saw, then!”
“Fine! Fine! Just let me find it- there! Right there!”
As it turns out, aliens all have aphantasia. This makes Humans the only species capable of imagining images in their heads. This greatly confuses alien telepaths, who report seeing “constantly shifting landscapes of alternate realities” when peering into human minds.
A telepathic alien gets bored and just starts using humans as tv screens
The Human I was partnered with was zoning out again. What were they imagining now? The seminar we were mandated to attend in our isolation suits with good accommodations was repeating itself. I already knew what it was about, having read the mind of the speakers prior. I gave a sideways glance to the Human, and regretted it.
The story in their head was both the most horrific and catching plot I’ve ever tuned in to. It wasn’t a jumbled mess like many times before, and I loved it! It was so much better than what the speaker was presenting, my sideways glance becoming more obvious as I tuned in to the Human’s mind. I was fortunate that the Human didn’t notice, but it was only a matter of time before they did, as Humans can literally somehow feelthat they’re being watched. It was like a good episode of an action show.
This Human made characters for their plot in their head, and my favorite ones of them all was their Human Mr. Arkwright, worm-robot-cyborg Desmutar, Dr. Drizkel and his twin sister Dr. Katir, and their Human Twins Paul and Kotake. There were other characters, as well, but I didn’t have any information on them.
I just hope that the asshole imaginary Human Paul confessed to Dr. Drizkel already! Dr. Drizkel is unlike any of his species! I was getting mad. And Paul was wrongfully leaning towards my primary favorite characters, Desmutar and Human Mr. Arkwright. As cool as Desmutar is, I just hoped Paul would stay friends with the robot-worm-cyborg. And I hoped he was just friends with Human Mr. Arkwright! Human Mr. Arkwright liked Kotake more!
It was a riveting episode in their scattered brain. And after the episode was done, came my horror. The Human partner was writing it on their tiny device as a plot idea that would possibly be admitted into the main story. It wasn’t even posted yet? Where is it posted?
This next part was when I found out they had a blog specifically for this story, and I was more than happy to find it. I slipped out my device as I quickly searched, and was blessed by the sight of a post that had all the chapters linked. I saved it to my list and went back to paying attention to the seminar. I was so glad to have checked in on my Human partner. And I was so glad that this Human partner had a place where they can set their ideas free. I was definitely looking forward to reading it afterwards.
After the seminar, the Human i was working with had that knowing look. Well, I understood that their instinct was strong enough, at least. I assured them that I already knew what the seminar was about, and I assured them that their scattered brain didn’t make a bad story. They were more than glad to know that I now knew what their story is about, and I will be reading it.
We parted ways with bows in respect, and I speed walked towards my ship as I sent the link of the story to my computer to read to me.
This next part was the true horror. The post had links to available chapters, and the rest was just for show in the meantime. I of course looked at their drawings of the characters available, and was blooming in cheerfulness of how they looked. I was scared of the implications contained, as nothing went well for these characters in their own universe. My favorites could die at any moment! But for what that Human was thinking, it seemed no one had died… yet. I was on the edge for the next week for their update. I made sure there was an alarm set up for their next chapter posted. Each time the fear was unwarranted, and my favorite characters lived for another day.
Chapter after chapter. Week after week. I was invested in the slow building romance between Dr. Drizkel and Paul. I cried for the first time in years. I’ve never cared for something more than this story.
What a beautiful mistake.
Alright, my fellow flesh beasts! This is sort of how I felt when I was into The Deathworlders series. I was so damn invested in it, it was unhealthy. But that shouldn’t stray from how beautiful the series is. In any case, hope you enjoyed the alien in this enjoying the Human’s story! This is kind of meta for Strange Incidents and a Human, so if you’re wondering where the characters mentioned came from, its that story. And the tag for the story is under the same title. So check that out if you want!
I like the addition of aliens having to actually look at humans to use their powers. If I was stared at every time I started day-dreaming, I’d be pretty creeped out.
And I don’t know about you, but I hope aliens like reruns because they’re going to watch a single scene on repeat if they tune into my brain.
As it turns out, aliens all have aphantasia. This makes Humans the only species capable of imagining images in their heads. This greatly confuses alien telepaths, who report seeing “constantly shifting landscapes of alternate realities” when peering into human minds.
A telepathic alien gets bored and just starts using humans as tv screens
“But how did you manage to catch your quarry? You haven’t any claws or wings or particularly sharp teeth, I can’t possible imagine you catching a… What were they called? Deer?”
Elle smiles dryly at the alien, as though the answer was obvious. “Same way we solve all our problems,” She drawls in Common, accent heavy. “We run.”
“I REFUSE to run!” cried the human.
The alien sputtered in confusion at the abducted specimen. The course laid before them was simple enough, and even offered a prize on the other end!
“Butwhy?” he said. “It’s part of your key evolutionary growth! You learned to sweat just so you could run more!”
The human proceeded to lay flat on the ground as if already exhausted.
“Those weren’t me. Those were my ancestors. Sorry to great gram and pops Adam and Eve, but I will not run unless something is trying to kill me. And even then…” they lazily lift a hand and dropped it, “…meh.”
“Noted.”
Why would you leave this in the tags op?
Well, to be frank, I wasn’t sure if adding my oc alien would make sense.
But now that we’re on this topic, here’s my excamures! (Old drawing from 2020)
