I think humans will definitely be studied upon by mind-reading aliens. It’s just that we think in so many different ways! There are people who think logically, and those who are more emotional. People who narrate their everyday life, while others think in pictures and scenarios.
I’ve heard of people thinking in colors, people thinking in quotes and memes. Personally, my everyday life is thought in song.
Wouldn’t it be interesting? All the different ways of thinking?
How our mind works would probably become two studies, one about morals and all the philosophical stuff and the other would be why we think in such different ways.
Now have a fun little scenario!
~~~
Mind reading alien - *Is found crying on the floor*
Alien 2 - “What is wrong MRA?”
MRA - *mumbles* “I thought we got a normal one. I thought we got a normal one. I thought we got a normal one.”
Alien 2 - “What did you think we got normal?”
MRA - *Sobs harder* “A normal human!”
Alien 2 - “Well, she is quite normal for her species.”
MRA - “She has been singing the same song about killing a creature of her own species for over 3 human hours!”
Alien 2 - “But I do not hear anything.”
MRA - “She’s been doing it in her head!”
~~~
Glad you asked! (couldn’t find your blog post so I opted to screenshot your reblog)
I would say said alien would just be frozen. Just stands there, dazed. Kinda like when you zone out but worse in a good way. You can bring the alien back by touch but most humans have to go through a screening to see what type of thinker they are so the mind-reading aliens won’t spend a bunch of time being frozen.
Speaking of the screening, I like to think that some humans will purposely change their tag to see the alien zone out or to bluff. Like, if pirates came just saying ‘visual thinker’ & 'horror movies’ is probably enough to deter any alien from entering your mind.
SPEAKING OF MOVIES!
I, 1000% believe that people will capitalise off visual thinkers making stories in their heads. Like they visualise their entire story in their head and people just watch. This not only helps with the story building for the person visualising but is probably entertaining for the aliens as there are a lot of different concepts and ideas that they might not have thought of.
The best thing would be the night time visualisations, aka, DREAMS~
Is it going to be scary? Is it going to mundane everyday work? (Which is probably not mundane for aliens tbh) Is it going to be a whole ass story with a confusing plot and a cliffhanger at the end that drives you mad because you’ll never know what happens after the story because it’s just a dream? WHO KNOWS! It’s a frigging lottery!
Well, if we have a tourism industry in space, why not a food one?
Due to the fact we are humans, we can eat a lot things animals can’t eat, so I imagine that we would have access to a lot of different types of foods.
It would be free trading for the aliens if they can’t eat the fruit/veg and it would be exciting for all the foodies out there!
People might take up poison resistance via intake of poisons just to show off that they can eat a certain food or so they can see if an alien was right about a fruit/veg taste! I mean, if I fruit was as tasty as an alien told us it would be, who wouldn’t?
What if, when your 18 or 12, Idk, you get to pick of fruit you want to be able to eat despite it being poisonous? It would be like choosing a elective/college degree!
~~~
“Hey, what food did you pick?”
“I got the Kuramazui, you know the one that’s like a lemon but it’s pink on the outside and is sweet on the inside?”
“Lucky! By the time I registered, it was all filled up! I picked Bangotango! It seems to be the closest to my tastes other than the Kuramazui.”
Aliens would probably look at us at concern because humans are willing to poison themselves so they can eat food.
Is it just me or do random urges to do things come out of nowhere?
Like, wanting to glomp a nearby friend or singing a random tune?
I mean, just today, I got a hold of a hockey stick and I had the strongest urge to whack some in the head with it and see how far I could yeet them.
Though aliens could just put these urges down in behavioural adaptations, it still wouldn’t make too much sense as behavioural adaptations are usually developed to help the specices survive and jumping out a window certainly would be more detrimental than beneficial.
—
Human - I really want to eat the dirt.
Alien - Human, the soil of this planet is highly toxic for your specices-
Human - But it looks like sherbet!
Alien - No, we must depart now. *Grabs human by the space suit*
Human - *glares at ground* Stupid forbidden sherbet.
—
Human - Who wants to dare me to throw my bag off a balcony?
Alien - Why would you ask someone to throw your supply carrier? It not only contains important materials and equipment but it could severely injure a person.
Human - Cause I want an excuse to do it.
Alien - Why?!
Human - Cause I feel like it.
—
Human - *Hugs other human*
Alien - Human, why did you engage in the ritual you call ‘Hugging’ so spontanously?
Human - I don’t know. Just felt like it.
—
Human - I want to just collaspe down the stairs.
Aliens - ??? Human that would cause more harm than benefit.
The death worlders are strange. The first thing you would note is that they are very friendly despite their death worlder nature. They are not apex predators, yet they thrive in their world.
What’s more to note is how much humans use the organ heart. They use strange shapes to represent it though those shapes look nothing like the human heart.
They use phrases like, “golden heart”, “good at heart”, “don’t take those words to heart”. Words that first confused me. It was not possible for a heart to be “made of gold”, it was not possible to physically take words to your heart. I got immediately concerned when a human said that they, “felt a hole in their heart.” I was later told that they meant a human felt like they were missing something.
Humans seem to see the heart as the center of their being, not the brain. They see it as who they are.
Does the thing they call, “a soul” reside there?
I asked the humans that had pack bonded with me and they laughed.
They told me no, but it was often where they felt like they had one.
The idea of stories is really interesting. Us humans used it as a way to explain things we didn’t know and so did other species. But unlike aliens, we clung onto fantasy.
Aliens gave up the wonderful tales to become rational, logical. What was the point of imagination if you already knew your limits?
But we and a handful of others dreamed. Of new worlds and new people. Of things of the past that never happened and moments of the future that might. We dreamed up creatures of catastrophe, monsters that could destroy universes and animals that were heartwarming and helped us live our life.
And because we dream, we became the most curious species of the Milky way.
I think humans will definitely be studied upon by mind-reading aliens. It’s just that we think in so many different ways! There are people who think logically, and those who are more emotional. People who narrate their everyday life, while others think in pictures and scenarios.
I’ve heard of people thinking in colors, people thinking in quotes and memes. Personally, my everyday life is thought in song.
Wouldn’t it be interesting? All the different ways of thinking?
How our mind works would probably become two studies, one about morals and all the philosophical stuff and the other would be why we think in such different ways.
Now have a fun little scenario!
~~~
Mind reading alien - *Is found crying on the floor*
Alien 2 - “What is wrong MRA?”
MRA - *mumbles* “I thought we got a normal one. I thought we got a normal one. I thought we got a normal one.”
Alien 2 - “What did you think we got normal?”
MRA - *Sobs harder* “A normal human!”
Alien 2 - “Well, she is quite normal for her species.”
MRA - “She has been singing the same song about killing a creature of her own species for over 3 human hours!”
Alien 2 - “But I do not hear anything.”
MRA - “She’s been doing it in her head!”
~~~
Glad you asked! (couldn’t find your blog post so I opted to screenshot your reblog)
I would say said alien would just be frozen. Just stands there, dazed. Kinda like when you zone out but worse in a good way. You can bring the alien back by touch but most humans have to go through a screening to see what type of thinker they are so the mind-reading aliens won’t spend a bunch of time being frozen.
Speaking of the screening, I like to think that some humans will purposely change their tag to see the alien zone out or to bluff. Like, if pirates came just saying ‘visual thinker’ & 'horror movies’ is probably enough to deter any alien from entering your mind.
SPEAKING OF MOVIES!
I, 1000% believe that people will capitalise off visual thinkers making stories in their heads. Like they visualise their entire story in their head and people just watch. This not only helps with the story building for the person visualising but is probably entertaining for the aliens as there are a lot of different concepts and ideas that they might not have thought of.
The best thing would be the night time visualisations, aka, DREAMS~
Is it going to be scary? Is it going to mundane everyday work? (Which is probably not mundane for aliens tbh) Is it going to be a whole ass story with a confusing plot and a cliffhanger at the end that drives you mad because you’ll never know what happens after the story because it’s just a dream? WHO KNOWS! It’s a frigging lottery!
So I have been on a Humans Are Space Orks/Earth is Space Australia kick, and here are the results, my top three starting with my absolute fav Bright Stars!
I have been addicted to this fic sense I first read it, look in the comments and you’ll see I leave essay length reviews on nearly every chapter, lol.
⚠️ Most these feature sentiant beings in captivity, so keep an eye on the tags and warnings.
…
Bright Stars
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
There had been rumors of a human who wasn’t performing well in fighting rings, constantly ignoring their lesser opponents and trying to go after the very loud, very violent crowd instead.
or
Not only did Hizashi allow himself to be caught by the alien trafficking ring he and Shouta were trying to bring down, he was also stuck in a cell with a Deathworlder.
Izuku is a normal human kid… Okay, well, actually, he can’t say that! Only .009% of kids who apply to study in space at the battalion satellite actually get accepted, and even then, only one has ever gone missing! (It sucks that that one kid is Izuku.)
Humans are rare to see in the galaxy - but seeing a living being who’s seen a pissed off human before? Even rarer. Humans are monsters - some of the best fighters in the galaxy and some of the strongest will powers of all known creatures. To most, they seem stupid. Dumb as hell. They can’t even learn a language, can they?
1) Terrans are a new addition to the Intergalactic Sapients list
2) The HSPC has yet to establish proper contact since the unspoken incident
3) They are violent and dangerous.
So when he gets shoved into a cell with two students, the last thing he expects is for a Terran to be thrown in with them. Or for Terrans to be so… different to the stories.
Mmm first things first, Humans Are Space Orks Midoriya Izuku Edition has updated several times sense I first made this post, go check that out.
Second, I somehow missed recing a space ork fic my first time around, so here it is now, Accidental Human Acquisition, by Cittsah! The plot is very similar to How to Train Your Terran (or is it the other way around?) But it’s pretty good, and also features feral Mamadoriya in later chapters, which is always a treat. Unfortunately short, but well written and with an entertaining plot.
Accidental Human Acquisition
by Cittsah
Plot: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Writing: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Humans are a new addition to the Galactic Federations sentient species list. They had been around for thousands of years, but other denizens of space had only become acquainted in the past decade or so. The interactions have been rocky at best and not much is known about the species. They are rumored to be reclusive, violent, illogical, and reckless. An exhaustive list of every trait any sane sentient would want to avoid. So when Training Vessel 1-A, rather unconventionally, acquires a human of their very own no one knew what to think. Nothing could have prepared them for the whirlwind of chaos they now had among their ranks.
Last, I decided to add a rec that isn’t technically Humans Are Space Orks, but it is a space/alien AU, and it has Erasermic Fam, and Hitoshi is adorably kitten sized compared to his new adopted parents, which instantly absolves it of all sins. Plus, the author is my absolute favorite for non human AUs! This isn’t my favorite fic of theirs, but it’s still pretty good, and I highly recommend you take a look at all of Badum_tsh’s work too, because they are amazing!
You’re an Alien?
by Badum_Tsh
Plot: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Writing: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
It was just an average space storm. Until his lightning rod suddenly malfunctioned and his ship was sent careening to a nearby uninhabited planet. Luckily for him, he’s not the only alien on this horrible rock.
So I have been on a Humans Are Space Orks/Earth is Space Australia kick, and here are the results, my top three starting with my absolute fav Bright Stars!
I have been addicted to this fic sense I first read it, look in the comments and you’ll see I leave essay length reviews on nearly every chapter, lol.
⚠️ Most these feature sentiant beings in captivity, so keep an eye on the tags and warnings.
…
Bright Stars
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
There had been rumors of a human who wasn’t performing well in fighting rings, constantly ignoring their lesser opponents and trying to go after the very loud, very violent crowd instead.
or
Not only did Hizashi allow himself to be caught by the alien trafficking ring he and Shouta were trying to bring down, he was also stuck in a cell with a Deathworlder.
Izuku is a normal human kid… Okay, well, actually, he can’t say that! Only .009% of kids who apply to study in space at the battalion satellite actually get accepted, and even then, only one has ever gone missing! (It sucks that that one kid is Izuku.)
Humans are rare to see in the galaxy - but seeing a living being who’s seen a pissed off human before? Even rarer. Humans are monsters - some of the best fighters in the galaxy and some of the strongest will powers of all known creatures. To most, they seem stupid. Dumb as hell. They can’t even learn a language, can they?
1) Terrans are a new addition to the Intergalactic Sapients list
2) The HSPC has yet to establish proper contact since the unspoken incident
3) They are violent and dangerous.
So when he gets shoved into a cell with two students, the last thing he expects is for a Terran to be thrown in with them. Or for Terrans to be so… different to the stories.
Mmm first things first, Humans Are Space Orks Midoriya Izuku Edition has updated several times sense I first made this post, go check that out.
Second, I somehow missed recing a space ork fic my first time around, so here it is now, Accidental Human Acquisition, by Cittsah! The plot is very similar to How to Train Your Terran (or is it the other way around?) But it’s pretty good, and also features feral Mamadoriya in later chapters, which is always a treat. Unfortunately short, but well written and with an entertaining plot.
Accidental Human Acquisition
by Cittsah
Plot: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Writing: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Humans are a new addition to the Galactic Federations sentient species list. They had been around for thousands of years, but other denizens of space had only become acquainted in the past decade or so. The interactions have been rocky at best and not much is known about the species. They are rumored to be reclusive, violent, illogical, and reckless. An exhaustive list of every trait any sane sentient would want to avoid. So when Training Vessel 1-A, rather unconventionally, acquires a human of their very own no one knew what to think. Nothing could have prepared them for the whirlwind of chaos they now had among their ranks.
Last, I decided to add a rec that isn’t technically Humans Are Space Orks, but it is a space/alien AU, and it has Erasermic Fam, and Hitoshi is adorably kitten sized compared to his new adopted parents, which instantly absolves it of all sins. Plus, the author is my absolute favorite for non human AUs! This isn’t my favorite fic of theirs, but it’s still pretty good, and I highly recommend you take a look at all of Badum_tsh’s work too, because they are amazing!
You’re an Alien?
by Badum_Tsh
Plot: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Writing: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
It was just an average space storm. Until his lightning rod suddenly malfunctioned and his ship was sent careening to a nearby uninhabited planet. Luckily for him, he’s not the only alien on this horrible rock.
So I have been on a Humans Are Space Orks/Earth is Space Australia kick, and here are the results, my top three starting with my absolute fav Bright Stars!
I have been addicted to this fic sense I first read it, look in the comments and you’ll see I leave essay length reviews on nearly every chapter, lol.
⚠️ Most these feature sentiant beings in captivity, so keep an eye on the tags and warnings.
…
Bright Stars
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
There had been rumors of a human who wasn’t performing well in fighting rings, constantly ignoring their lesser opponents and trying to go after the very loud, very violent crowd instead.
or
Not only did Hizashi allow himself to be caught by the alien trafficking ring he and Shouta were trying to bring down, he was also stuck in a cell with a Deathworlder.
Izuku is a normal human kid… Okay, well, actually, he can’t say that! Only .009% of kids who apply to study in space at the battalion satellite actually get accepted, and even then, only one has ever gone missing! (It sucks that that one kid is Izuku.)
Humans are rare to see in the galaxy - but seeing a living being who’s seen a pissed off human before? Even rarer. Humans are monsters - some of the best fighters in the galaxy and some of the strongest will powers of all known creatures. To most, they seem stupid. Dumb as hell. They can’t even learn a language, can they?
1) Terrans are a new addition to the Intergalactic Sapients list
2) The HSPC has yet to establish proper contact since the unspoken incident
3) They are violent and dangerous.
So when he gets shoved into a cell with two students, the last thing he expects is for a Terran to be thrown in with them. Or for Terrans to be so… different to the stories.
Mmm first things first, Humans Are Space Orks Midoriya Izuku Edition has updated several times sense I first made this post, go check that out.
Second, I somehow missed recing a space ork fic my first time around, so here it is now, Accidental Human Acquisition, by Cittsah! The plot is very similar to How to Train Your Terran (or is it the other way around?) But it’s pretty good, and also features feral Mamadoriya in later chapters, which is always a treat. Unfortunately short, but well written and with an entertaining plot.
Accidental Human Acquisition
by Cittsah
Plot: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Writing: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Humans are a new addition to the Galactic Federations sentient species list. They had been around for thousands of years, but other denizens of space had only become acquainted in the past decade or so. The interactions have been rocky at best and not much is known about the species. They are rumored to be reclusive, violent, illogical, and reckless. An exhaustive list of every trait any sane sentient would want to avoid. So when Training Vessel 1-A, rather unconventionally, acquires a human of their very own no one knew what to think. Nothing could have prepared them for the whirlwind of chaos they now had among their ranks.
Last, I decided to add a rec that isn’t technically Humans Are Space Orks, but it is a space/alien AU, and it has Erasermic Fam, and Hitoshi is adorably kitten sized compared to his new adopted parents, which instantly absolves it of all sins. Plus, the author is my absolute favorite for non human AUs! This isn’t my favorite fic of theirs, but it’s still pretty good, and I highly recommend you take a look at all of Badum_tsh’s work too, because they are amazing!
You’re an Alien?
by Badum_Tsh
Plot: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Writing: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
It was just an average space storm. Until his lightning rod suddenly malfunctioned and his ship was sent careening to a nearby uninhabited planet. Luckily for him, he’s not the only alien on this horrible rock.
I am the Moondragon, final line of defense against the unknown.
There was a celebration when I was launched before the war. Thousands of humans were celebrating the success of my creation.
Although I have been forgotten, I do not forget the duties they gave me. Protect the Earth, no matter what.
My crew has left me, but I do not forget them either. Every one of their names were etched into my hull by her.
Although I have no working engines, I continue to patrol the restricted zone for signs of the Konok. Floating along with my remaining weapons searching for danger.
Humanity are my creators, my friends, and I must continue my job to defend them. I love you humans, do you still love me?
Among the many stories of the Vul’nak war, few truly stand out to me. A war of senseless violence and endless bloodshed, that ended in nobody gaining much of anything.
An escort ship, the Lightning Bolt, happened to be out on patrol when the Vul’nak mothership was chased into their sector of space.
The mothership was the most terrifying ship in the entire fleet, with enough weapons to glass an entire continent in an hour. She was fast too, fast enough to avoid the fleet pursuing her.
The orders from high command went out to every ship in the sector: locate the mothership at any cost, slow her down until reinforcements arrive.
The captain of the Bolt knew that there was no time to waste, and aims his ship directly towards the last known system the Mothership was seen in.
12 hours. It took the crew of the Bolt 12 hours to succeed where an entire fleet had failed, they had found the mothership.
The crew of the Bolt faced an important decision. Keep their distance and risk losing their foe again, or risk their lives and pray that reinforcements arrive.
To the crew there was no choice, the Mothership must not be allowed to continue any further.
The captain send a single broadcast, then orders the crew to engage with all weapons. Only one ship was allowed to leave.
For over an hour, the Bolt held its own against the Mothership. Outgunned, outmanned, outclassed, but still alive. Striking their hull whenever possible while dodging deadly laser strikes, like an interstellar game of cat and mouse.
When the Fleet finally arrived, they were greeted with a transmission from the Bolt, the same transmission that had been playing on loop since they had first engaged the Mothership.
A message that would eventually strike fear into the hearts of enemies, and rally courage in allies. A single sentence that meant so much more than simple words could convey.
As humans most of us have a sense of place. We get attached to the places we live. Home is a sacred thing to most of us. It may not be the place we were born or grew up, but if we live in a place long enough we start to develop feelings for it. Some good, some bad. The longer we live somewhere, the more we learn about it. About the people and animals that live their, the plants that grow and what they all do as the seasons progress. We know the places we call home, sometimes too well. We get attached to features in the landscape, rivers, hills or woodlands, and get upset if they are despoiled or desecrated.
Every human knows that home is more than just a roof over your head or a place to spend the night.
And what if we go into space. What if we settle there. What if children grow up walking on red rocks and start calling Mars their home. What if we spread farther? We leave our star system and distant homeworld behind and make ourselves new homeworlds on other planets.
What if some are better than others. What if some planets prove easily habitable to humans and accept our terraforming with ease. But what if others reject terran life, and force every human that lives on them to stay in protected shelters while it slowly kills them with heavy metals and toxic compounds. What if despite all this, humans still call this planet home. What if generations grow up on that planet, developing history and love for their home, even if it slowly kills them.
And what if humans meet other life in space? What if that life looks at these planets that are so hostile to human life and instead see a world that is perfect for life-forms like them. What if the very heavy metals and toxic compounds that kill us slowly are actually vital to their very life and wellbeing.
What if they make a deal with humanity? What if they have many planets that they cannot live on, but are perfectly habitable to humans. And what if humans have planets that are death to them but havens for the aliens. Its very logical that the two should swap. For both sides have something the other wants.
And what if, when the news comes, many of the human settlers choose to leave the planet they grew up in, for a planet that will not slowly kill them. Some leave and never look back, while others still feel a sense of loss in their hearts when they remember.
But what if some refuse to leave. What if the fact that the planet is killing them slowly is not enough to convince some to abandon the place they call home. What if they stay, even when the alien colonists arrive, step off their ships and breath the air with relief instead of choking death.
What if they are still there as the aliens go on to colonize their new home with a vigour even the most determined human could never replicate on that world. What if they still live in contained shelters and know the planet is slowly killing them, even as those who left prosper on other worlds.
And what if to the aliens they become a part of that place. What if the contained complexes and the sight of humans in environmental suites becomes as much a part of that planet as its mountains of heavy metals and its lakes of toxic chemicals.
What if the aliens that call that planet home, come to regard the humans as being simply another part of that home. Something that would be noticed and missed if it were to disappear.
Maybe some humans leave that planet. Maybe many leave to seek a better life on another planet that will not slowly kill them. But maybe some always stay. Maybe to them home is something sacred and the fact that it is slowly killing you is not enough to leave it.
My dad is a genius. He came up with a GREAT Humans are weird idea.
Cigars and alcohol.
What would they think of it? We take a bunch of dried leaves, roll them, clip them, then light it on FIRE and hold it close to our FACES.
And we drink aged wheat juice that often burns our throats and makes the brain fuzzy if you drink too much. It can even KNOCK A PERSON OUT. A whole person.
Alien troop: “Can this be done to any leaves? Do you inhale it? Do they all produce this much smoke? What about this liquid fire? Do they all taste the same? What’s in them? How much to I have to drink before I feel that fuzzy feeling you humans get?”
And then it turns out they have a heckin WEAK limit before they get drunk, like just the SMELL of it sends some of the alien crew into a drunken state.
I love space comedy, and I’d like to imagine in an intergalactic, universe traversing situation, humans are known for being extremely touchy with eachother.
I often see humans are space orcs stories where humans end up the only one of their species on a ship. And a lot of the other species have very specific social rules or are very physically different. Meaning the human goes without physical contact for long periods of time. So when they see other humans they tend to touch a lot to destress.
I feel like among space traversing humans things like hugs and holding hands becomes a normal thing even among people who just met as a way to control touch starvation. They don’t really see it as intimacy at this point, instead it’s more or less equal to passing someone somthing they cant reach or helping someone up when they fall.
I could expand more, theres a lot you could do with this, but this is actually just set up for the posts actual point: skin hunger.
At some point a crewmate asks a human why they act like that with eachother and the human uses that term in their explanation. Something along the lines of, “oh, it’s just skin hunger. Humans need it to maintain stability and can only really get it from eachother, which can be rare in space.” And thus the rumor spreads that humans need to eat each others skin or theyll go insane.
concept: an alien race horrified by the idea of clothes
- You… you manifacture artificial skin? That you don over your own bodies? How utterly repulsive!!
-And instead of being rightfully ashamed of this practice you… pride yourselves on it?? You have performances dedicated to displaying weird varieties of it? You hold galas that are - for lack of a better term - ‘thinly veiled’ excuses for just such a performance?
-You try them on in specific stores and sometimes don’t buy them? YOU LEND THEM TO YOUR FRIENDS? You lend your weird fake skin to your friends???!!?
- What do you MEAN you have specifically designated sleep skin???
- An alien being forced to wear warm clothes because of the weather and begrudgingly accepting that it’s a pretty clever way of adapting to this crazy planet, THEY GUESS.
- Rebelling alien youths putting on sweaters to the absolute horror of their parents. So edgy.
To be fair, we abducted members of every new race. Abduct a small percentage of the population, expose them to some galactic prisoners, and we get a good idea of what germs, diseases, and viruses will make the jump between races. Do this over the course of a [roughly equivalent to a century], and you get a good idea of what there is, how quickly it mutates, etc. You also have the time to develop vaccines for any races that might be affected by the new race (including itself- we’re not heartless).
But we underestimated humans.
It was [roughly equivalent to four decades] into our testing of humanity. We picked up a human from his transport and placed him in a containment cell. He had some nutrients with him, and we picked that up too: less we had to feed him later.
But we underestimated the resourcefulness of humans.
Something went wrong- we think it was a door malfunction- and he escaped the cell. He disabled the guards easily (we suspect they were less alert than they should have been) and took their weapons. We locked all hatches, hoping to seal him in the laboratory wing. Unfortunately, he hacked the shipboard computer, gaining control of all systems. He made his way to the bridge, where he took the captain hostage. We offered him riches, technologies beyond human understanding.
But we underestimated the stubbornness of humans.
He was paid us no mind as he wrestled with the controls, as if on some quest. He punched numbers and figures into the console, and mumbled something about ‘being lit on fire’ by a superior. He set the ship down on the other side of the city from where he was picked up and opened the doors. We braced ourselves for a military confrontation, but it seemed like we were outside another human’s abode. He jumped out, carrying the nutrients with him.
We underestimated Domino’s 30-minute or free guarantee.
“Does it ever get cold around here?” Wren was lying on her back, squinting against the brightness of the sun above.
“Our base is strategically placed so that it is not affected negatively by the other planets’ orbits or the effects elevation has on temperature.” Zork’ak was attempting not to openly stare at her.
“So, no?”
Zork’ak chuckled a little. “No. The temperature is consistent.”
Wren groaned, and even that brought a smile to Zork’ak’s face. The two of them were alone just before the moons emerged, looking out across the terrain. Wren has grown aggravated with a failed project and had climbed up to the roof to calm down. The rest of the humans insisted she needed space, but xe couldn’t stand the idea of her alone and upset, so xe climbed onto the roof, too.
“I grew up in the mountains.”
“What was that like?”
“Oh, I loved it. It was so beautiful, all the snow. And you could see such gorgeous sunrises, the way it glinted off the ice. I did a lot of snowboarding and for a little while we even trained dogs for sledding.”
“Snow is the frozen liquid that coats high altitudes, correct?”
“Yes. Snow is different than ice though because it’s a little softer.”
“And snowboarding is?”
“Oh, you get this board that’s made out of fiberglass and wood, and you attach your feet to it, and then you can slide down a mountain. It takes a lot of practice not to fall. And sledding is standing on this platform and these dogs pull you across the terrain. They’re both really fun, but it can be really difficult and painful sometimes.”
Zork’ak almost asked why she would participate in a sport that would hurt, but xe shook xer head. “Have you attempted to recreate this snow? There are structures that reach high altitudes with slopes consistent with your planet. The difference would be that we do not have precipitation.”
“I have noticed this. The water content in the terrain is fascinating.”
“I do know little information about it.”
Wren let out a short, breathy laugh. “Is that your way of telling me not to ask.”
Zork’ak grinned down at her. “Possibly.” Wren turned her blue eyes on xem, and xer heart started pounding. “Uh, so, why haven’t you made snow?”
“Oh,” she pushed up on her elbows, “it’s not that I can’t make snow. It’s that you need so much, and I don’t think I would be able to get it to appropriately coat the surface. I wish I could though; I always regret never mountain climbing.”
“Is that not similar to the snowboarding?”
“Well, you do go up to the top of a mountain, but with snowboarding, it’s not that high. Mountain climbing is, like, taking food and clothes and ways to shelter yourself with you in this giant pack that you carry on your back. And then you climb the mountain, actually climb the thing, and I would climb all the way to the top. Some people don’t or can’t, but I am too damn stubborn. I’d make it to that top or I’d die on the way there.“
Zork'ak’s heart stuttered. “Why would you be unable to reach the top?”
“Well, the altitude can make it hard to breathe, and that lack of oxygen can take a toll on your body, and then, of course, the cold. That can be really difficult. Sometimes, the weather can be bad, other people can be stupid and mess shit up. There’s just a number of things so you need to be well trained and prepared.”
“This can actually kill you? This is not a dramatized expression?”
Wren shook her head, a strand falling to the side. “No, it could definitely kill you.”
“And you wish that you could complete this task?”
“Well, yeah. I love the mountains, the way they look, the cold. I feel like I missed such an experience, a challenge meant just for me.”
“Why would you accept this challenge, though? I understand humans compete in strange ways, harmful ways even, but why would you compete in life-threatening situations?”
“It’s not a competition. It’s something just for you, to know that you did it. You get the whole experience, and it’s just beautiful. I hope I can to try it.”
She tilted her head slightly, and that lock of hair slipped further free of her tangled hair. Zork'ak reached forward, using one talon to carefully push the strand back in place. For some reason, xe didn’t drop xer talons, though; xe allowed xer talons to drip down her cheek, and Wren did not move away. She even pressed her cheek deeper into xer touch. “We will find a way for you to try, Wren.” The words were little more than a soft whisper. She only smiled in response.
“But how did you manage to catch your quarry? You haven’t any claws or wings or particularly sharp teeth, I can’t possible imagine you catching a… What were they called? Deer?”
Elle smiles dryly at the alien, as though the answer was obvious. “Same way we solve all our problems,” She drawls in Common, accent heavy. “We run.”
The humans were at third meal when Zork'ak sat on the bench. The nutrient researchers had been experimenting with the human flavors, attempting to add it to the meals. This bowl had a slight ‘savory’ undertone that Zork'ak very much enjoyed.
Wren moved over to allow Zork'ak to sit next to her, which caused a weird constriction around xer straque, xer fluid-pumping organ. Wren smiled at xem, and it happened again. Xe might need to go to the medical wing after meal.
"I don’t feel sorry,“ Adam was saying.
"You sprained my wrist!” Steve was clutching his extremity to his chest.
"You should’ve landed the right way.“
"Oh, shut up,” Carrie grumbled.
As Carrie lifted her utensil to her mouth, Zork'ak caught a glimpse of a long cut running the length of the lower half of her extremity. “How did you hurt yourself, Carrie?”
She looked surprised. “Where?” Zork'ak carefully traced the line with xer talon. Carrie twisted to look at the scabbed cut. “Hmm. Wonder when that happened.”
"The piercing of your skin sends pulses through your nerves, correct?“
"Well, yeah.”
"So you should feel it.“
"Well, I mean. You usually do. I guess I just didn’t notice when it happened this time.”
"Sometimes our body can be more focused on other things or like the pain is so minor we barely notice or remember it,“ Adam said. “I mean we obviously notice big things.”
"I probably cut on something while we were at the collection field.“ Carrie continued eating.
"She also is the kind of person who doesn’t notice a lot.” Adam closed his eye in what Zork'ak had been told is called a ‘wink.’ “I, on the other hand, do notice things like this.” He flipped his extremity over to reveal two blue spots on his arms. Zork'ak did not study human bodily science, just behavior so xe did not know what this medical condition was.
"What disease do you have?“ Zork'ak leaned forward to look at Adams, running a talon over the skin to see if it felt different. Xe had been told that xe could touch the humans without asking permission in these situations.
"Oh, it’s not a disease. It’s called a bruise. It means my blood vessel, the tube that brings the blood to all my organs, was ruptured. It’ll go away after a few days.”
"You rupture delivery vessels that are necessary to keep your organs functioning and it does not affect your body?“
Adam shrugged. "We have multiple blood vessels.”
"Is this an extremely painful occurrence?“ Zork'ak had noticed humans did not seem to mind pain.
"Nah. I mean, you can usually tell if you are going to bruise because it hurts a little when that spot gets hit, but very minor.”
"So you don’t notice when you are cut but when one of your… blood vessels,“ Adam nodded,” blood vessels ruptures but you do notice when you touch an object too hard.“
"Uh, kind of? It just really depends.”
Zork'ak did not understand how some humans would notice these nerve impulses but others did not. Xe turned to look at Wren, who had been listening to the conversation, and noticed a dark purple spot on Wren’s upper extremity.
"What is this?“ Xe pointed at the spot on Wren’s arm.
"Uh,” Wren tried to twist her extremity. “Where?” She was stretching it out, twisting around, finally able to look at the spot on the back side. “Oh, bruise.” She poked it. “Ouch. That hurt.” She proceeded to press it again. And again.
"Wren?“ She touched the spot again and wrinkled her nose. "Why do you continue to press the spot that hurts?”
She looked at xem. “You know, I don’t have an explanation really. I guess it doesn’t hurt that much so it’s enticing to keep pressing it to see if it hurts more each time. I’m not sure.”
"How did you get that bruise?“
"Couldn’t tell you.”
Zork'ak looked back at Adam. “I thought you said you all noticed when you have ruptured your blood vessels, and that one looks more painful.”
"Hers is a dark color because it’s healing, not because it’s more painful. Bruises are nearly the same pain level. Some hurt when you press them,“ he cut his eyes at Wren, "but having them doesn’t hurt really.”
"She does not know how she received hers.“
He looked at her arm, then his. "Like I said, it depends.”
"But.“ Zork'ak was looking at their bruises. "How do you-you don’t notice-I do not understand.” Klyls always noticed any abnormality in their body’s functioning. There was not a time that Zork'ak had not noticed something causing xem pain.
"It’s complicated, I guess. Our species doesn’t have set rules really.“
"I have noticed.” Xe looked at Wren. “It makes your species quite hard to study.”
She laughed. “Good. You can’t know all of our secrets.” She winked at xem then.
Zork'ak found it hard to breathe for a fraction of a cycle. Xe definitely needed to go to the medical wing.
Zork'ak entered the laboratory at the appropriate cycle, just before the ritual of climbing to the roof. Xe had considered having small steps or indents above the wall or lengthening the ledge of the window to make the climbing easier for the humans. Xe decided the humans would not care for a logic and safe path.
Wren, Carrie, Adam, and Kai were crowded around one of the isolated benches near the back wall. “Come on! Come on! Ten, nine, eight-” Zork'ak approached the humans as they chanted. Steve, Jessica, Reese, and Kace were shoving crops into their mouth rapidly. “One!”
"Time’s up!“ Carrie was bouncing up and down on her feet. “Steve wins with twelve!” Zork'ak reached the bench, finding the four humans spitting up food and looking quite uncomfortable. Carrie was grinning at the pain of the others. “Okay, let’s switch.”
"What is this?“ Wren turned to where Zork'ak had appeared.
"Oh, it was an eating contest. You have to see who can eat the most in a certain amount of time.”
"What is it that they were eating?“ Steve was coughing furiously, and Jessica was bent over a bucket. Kace was leaning forward, hands on his knees, seeming to be out of breath. Reese was drinking water quite rapidly.
"Oh, we had crackers from our trip over. They are really salty and dries your mouth out. Now, it’s our turn.”
Steve and Jessica recovered first, coming back to bench. There were small shapes on the counter, mostly reds. “Damn right it is.”
"What are you all competing for?“
Carrie smiled, seemingly too excited. "Bragging rights.”
"Brag-what?“
"Oh,” Adam stepped around Carrie. “It means you have the right to say you win, and it makes you superior to others in the group in this activity.” Zork'ak began opening xer mouth. “We compete just to win with no other purpose. It’s just what we do.” Zork'ak exhaled air with a small smile at Adam’s ability to anticipate xer question.
"Zor?“ He looked to where Wren stood. "Did you just laugh?”
Zork'ak thought for a moment. “Is that with this exhalation was?”
She nodded, laughing. “Zor, you’re learning how to be human.”
"Hey.“ Carrie nudged "Do this with us. Try being human, compete with no purpose.”
"I will.“ Zork'ak stepped towards the bench without even thinking first. Xe was not sure what this feeling was. It might be this ‘liking’ that the humans talked about. Xe needed to ask Adam later.
"Okay.” Carrie looked to either side of here. “The goal is obviously to see who eats the hottest pepper. I worked really hard on growing these. For it to even count, you must chew it, swallow it, and keep it down for a minute. Water is available after you give up.”
"Alright. Get ready.“ Steve was looking up and down the line. "Hey, Zor, when I say go, eat the green one.” Xe nodded. Xe was not sure what this ‘hot’ meant, but xe was about to learn. “Okay. Aaaaand Go!”
All five of them popped the pepper in their mouth chewing and swallowing. Zork'ak exclaimed, sounding as if xe had been physically injured. The 'pepper’ creating a burning sensation across xer tongue and down xer throat. This was much like the burning of that lemon from the previous taste testing but with a different flavor. This was very much what it felt like when fighting a Brak'yr, their acid quite deadly.
"That’s sixty seconds. The next one.“ Steve pointed to a pepper in front of Zork'ak, and xe ate it. This was much worse. Xe was concerned that the pepper would erode away xer internal organs. Maybe the humans were trying to kill xem. Steve pointed to another pepper, and xe ate it. The pain was intense. Xe tried to open xer mouth wider, breathing in more air. It did not help. There were four more peppers, and Zork'ak was determined to complete this challenge, even without necessary results.
At pepper number five, Kai stepped away, coughing and, what Zork'ak believed to be vomiting, into a bin. Pepper number six had Adam and Wren swallowing enormous amounts of water. Zork'ak was unsure why xe kept eating. The pain intensified each time, but not by much. The first layer created a blanket and the rest of the heat was not as intense. Carrie looked at them, smiling as she popped the last pepper in xer mouth. Zork'ak reached forward, biting into it. Xe immediately spit it out, leaning over a bin, too. Kace handed Zork'ak watet, and xe drank through three servings.
Carrie was laughing. "I win.”
The other four glared at her, Wren and Adam on the floor breathing deeply.
"This was very unpleasant,“ Zork'ak gasped. "Why compete for no purpose if it is also unpleasant?”
Carrie smiled down at xem. “Because we like to prove how good and strong we are.”
"You clearly are a superior race,“ xe took a loud gasp, "at useless rituals.” Everyone but Kai laughed loudly.
"Damn, Zor,“ Steve said on the other side of the bench. "Did you just throw shade?”
Zork'ak opened xer mouth to ask, but xe did not speak. Xe were too focused on this intense feeling eating at xer mouth. Xe felt the need to leave, no longer interested in human behavior. Xer determined they were a useless race, conflicting pain for no reason. This conclusion only lasted until the time to climb to the roof, when the burning started to subside.
Zork'ak reached Wren’ quarters just before the agreed sunlight. Xe had been reguarly meeting with Wren and walking with her even though xe now knew were the room was. Xe interpreted it as a bonding experience, and xe wanted to be part of their pack, partially to learn more about the species and partially because xe was beginning to grow fond of the humans. It was an unusual emotion for Klyls to experience.
Wren was running around the room, clothes thrown everywhere, throwing more around the space when she noticed Zork'ak standing there.
“Hold on! I can’t find my other shoe.” She continued to dig through one of the piles. “Where is the damn thing!” She tripped over something on the ground falling over.
“Wren,” Zork'ak asked from where xe stood, “why does your quarters not have organized bins?”
She was under the bed now. “Don’t need ‘em.”
“I would be happy to help you label bins for this so you could find each item.”
“Nah. I can find it.” Zork'ak was about to offer xer help again when Wren popped out from under the bed. “Found it!” She held up her shoe before pulling it onto her foot. Zork'ak could not comprehend out Wren found anything in her quarters, but xe understood little of humans. They were not the most efficient species, far from it. Their decision did not match the evolutionary process in the slightest.
Zork'ak turned away to leave the quarters when xe caught a glimpse a small table in the corner. The table had a piece one leg missing and books stacked underneath the table to level it out. “Wren, if your table is broke, we can provide a replacement.”
She slipped passed Zork'ak. “Nah. I fixed it. Let’s go.”
“I do not believe you have ‘fixed it.’” Zork'ak was not sure if this was how humans improved objects.
“Well, it works doesn’t it?”
Zork'ak thought about that one. “I suppose it must.” Wren grinned wildly, and Zork'ak remembered the other part of xer confusion over Wren’s room. “Wren?” She looked back at xem, a smirk still on her face. “Why is it that you own so many covering devices?”
“You mean clothes?” Zork'ak “shrugged.” Xe had learned how to move xer upper body in the human-like gesture. “Well, I can’t wear the same ones every day.”
“And why is that?”
“Well, they get dirty.”
“Do you often partake in activities that stain and soil your coverings?”
Wren was staring up at Zork'ak now quite confused. “Well, no, but there’s sweat and dirt and oil. So we wear different clothes every day to be clean.”
“I do not see how you secrete these fluids and they cause your clothes to become unwearable.”
“I guess. Well, you know how humans secrete oils and sweat?” Zork'ak nodded. This the Klyls did know about humans. “It gets on our clothes and so we want fresh ones instead of piling the oils and sweat on top of more.”
“And why is it you need these coverings? Would it not be more efficient to not cover your body instead of catching the secretions and trapping them on your skin?”
“Well, on Earth, it is not allowed to be naked. Humans believe we should cover certain parts. They say it is not acceptable to see the entirety of another person if you are not like, well, kind of really good friends with them.”
Zork'ak looked down at xer body. Xe were covered in protective scales and did not see a reason to cover the body. Earth customs did make little sense. “Is it because your body is easily harmed?”
“Partly. We protect our body from cold or the sun or the rain. Different things.”
“I suppose you would need coverings considering your, um,” Zork'ak looked down at Wren,“ your skin is not particularly effective at defense.”
Wren giggled at that, for some unknown reason, and stopped in the hallway, turning left. Zork'ak followed her into the “grappling room,” where Faradae was standing in the center of the room, using his hands to fight with another individual. It was an interesting and interesting movement. When they finished and invited them in, Faradae approached Zork'ak to discuss a new tactic to introduce this class. Zork'ak quickly relayed the information, focusing on Faradae’s hands.
“Are you hurt?” Zork'ak asked after finishing his report.
Faradae looked down at his hands. There was a thin, white material wrapped around several of his fingers. “Eh. I had to tape my fingers. Hurt a few of them when I was boxing.”
“And you continue to practice with your extremities damaged?”
“I mean, it’s not that bad. It’ll heal.” Zork'ak began to wonder how all of their bones seemed to heal.
After the class, the group went to third meal, sitting at a table with Zork'ak. Carrie took a bite into her mixed spices and grains, making a face that looked quite unpleasant.
“Oh, that smells terrible.”
Adam leaned over breathing it in deeply. “You’re right.” He proceeded to take a bite. “Pretty bad, too.”
Several of the other humans passed the bowl around to smell and taste the food, each announcing what the others had already claimed: that it both smelled and tasted bad. “If the food is unpleasant, xe can find you something more suitable.”
Carrie shook her head, reclaiming her bowl, and continued to eat the substance. “It’s not that bad.”
“Did you not all agree that the food was not to your liking?”
Carrie shrugged, shoveling more in her mouth. “The more you eat, the better it gets.” Adam leaned over to steal another spoonful and agreed that it did taste better the second time.
“Why is it that you all feel the need to smell and eat the food. Do you not trust Carrie’s opinion?”
Steve laughed. “We just like to also experience it.”
“You like to experience something you know you will not enjoy.”
Steve and Adam looked at each. “Well, yeah.” Adam said.
Zork'ak was continuing to learn that the Klyl’s knew nothing about these humans.
Zork'ak had begun to routinely visit the two labs before second meal, asking after their experiments and following them to their claimed table. Xe walked into the first lab, finding Kai near the window, scribbling on a pad she was given that uploaded her research to the database. Xe waited until she looked up from her furious writing, finding her eyes wide and slightly red.
“Kai?” Zork'ak had been learning human sayings and was searching for one. “Are you okay?” Xe believed that was a more informal way to ask after their well-being.
“Yeah, yeah.” Her eyes were darting around the room. “Just a bit tired.”
“Did you sleep well?” Zark'ak noticed how Kai was a little jittery, her movements not as fluid as normal, and her behavior was similar.
“Yeah. I mean, sleep is overrated right?
“No.” Zork'ak was unaware of this scientific research if sleep was indeed not needed for humans. “Your body needs sleep to properly function.”
She shrugged. “You can get by without it.”
“From our studies, it has adverse effects on your cardiac system, your memory, and your reflexes. It can cause negative impacts on your cognitive abilities, which inhibits your current work.” Kai reached across her desk for a can. Zork'ak noticed two more near it as she knocked her head back and drained its contents, throwing it down next to the others. “What is this drink you are consuming rapidly? Do humans have a medical enhancer for lack of sleep when necessary?”
Kai leaned back of her tablet, swiping her hand across the screen. “Kinda like that. It’s an energy drink.”
“May I see?” Kai handed Zork'ak the empty can without taking her eyes off the screen. Zork'ak scanned the can, eyeing the other two knocked over on Kai’s desk. “This contains many ingredients that are quite harmful for your body, and you have ingested six servings.”
“Mmm.” Kai did not appear to be listening.
Zork'ak took a step forward, touching Kai’s shoulder. “I am concerned for your health.”
She looked up then, a smile small on her face. Her eyes and the lines around her mouth and temples looked quite awful. “Occasionally, we will get little sleep, and, yes, energy drinks are awful for you, but sometimes it’s worth it. We can do anything as long as we don’t make it a habit.”
“You are telling me that your species can recover from occasional ingestion of chemicals and lack of an extremely necessary action?”
“I mean,” Kai looked out the window, “we can really recover from anything if you do it right.”
Zork'ak was becoming more and more relieved they had these humans on their base. Xe didn’t know how Klyls would ever have been able to fight them, and xe hoped they would never have to find out.
(I don’t know if this has been done yet, so sorry if you’ve seen something like this before. I’ve read a lot of ‘Humans are weird’ and 'Humans are space orcs’ that I’ve had to contribute with this little thing.
Please note that I don’t have Chromesthesia and this is based purely from Wikipedia. Oh and this is gonna be long cuz I love to write this kinda stuff, so get comfy.
Sorry if it’s bad ;-; )
It had been a long day onboard the human station known as 'Ulysses’. Qhar'in had always wondered why humans named their ships, but he’d always forget to ask whenever he would remember. 'Yet another thing that humans do.' He thought as he entered his room, chucking his helmet onto his bed. He serves as security, slogging through ranks faster than most, on the Scientific/Civilian station. Double checking his blasters safety toggle, he set it aside on his desk next to the small pile of papers that had accumulated over the few months that he was stationed there.
His fins folded and stretched as he lifted his chest piece off, a sigh of relief excaped him as the humidifier kicked in, soaking his amphibian skin. A loud trilling sound suddenly rang behind him, a holographic button pad lighting into existence, his own language sprawled onto each button. Tapping the center most button, he answered the call.
“Greatings, how may I assist you?" Qhar'in asked, kicking off his boots, allowing his three webbed toes stretch and wiggle, doing the same with his gloves.
"Hey Qhar! You still coming round?"
"Ah! Human-Clare, of course! I’d never miss a chance to 'hang out’ with my favourite human, dawg!”
“Your still shit at human linguo, but props for trying. Anyway, that’s cool, can’t wait for you to come over, I’ve been practising on the piano and I can’t wait to show you!” The receiver clicked signalling the end of their communication.
“Wait, aren’t you blind?" Qhar'in asked after a moment of silence, not relising that there conversation had ended.
The door slid upward with a swoosh, revealing the small brunette human standing at the other end, her shaded glasses reflecting the amphibian’s image. His damp 'rock’ and 'role’ shirt stuck to his body like glue, it was uncomfortable but Qhar'in stuck with it since his friend gave it to him. Clare stood in the doorway with a questioning stare, her cane dragging across the floor in a slow arc.
"Hello human Clare! It has been a while since we had time to meeeet!” Qhar'in could hardly keep himself stable as Clare launched herself at him, pulling him into a tight hug, her face lighting up from hearing his voice.
“Haha! How’s it going Qhar!? Come, come I have to show you something!” Clare quickly got off, pulling along her friend, the door sliding shut behind him. She led him to the living room, where a wooden piano sat in the corner by a large window overlooking the endless expanse of space.
“Human, I was sure that I miss heard you, but now that I see it I do not understand. Why do you have a piano in your home? I thought you were blind, or do humans re-grow parts of their body’s?” Qhar'in scratched his dorsal fin at the back of his head.
“I am blind silly! And no, it human biology doesn’t work like that. But that doesn’t stop me from playing music! Besides, haven’t you heard of Beethoven? He was deaf, but he could still play.” Qhar'in roled his eyes as she sat down on the stool facing the keyboard. He wasn’t going to lie, he was impressed by how humans could do the impossible despite whatever affliction that they may have.
“Yes, but he could still see what he was doing ” He deadpanned, much to the dismay of Clare.
“Yeah, whatever! You’ll also be amazed that I’ve found out that I’ve got chro, chrom, uhh, fuck what’s it called again?” She snapped her fingers a few times before she seemed to remember. “Chromesthesia! That’s it!”
“Chrom-what?”
“Later! Just sit down so I can show you how wrong you are!” True to her word, the moment he sat down on the nearby chouch, the room was filled with slow moving music. “It’s Moonlight Sonata, by the way, first movement if you’re interested.” Qhar'in watched in a daze as her fingers danced along the keyboard faster that he’d geussed, utterly entranced by the music pouring out of the instrument. He had listened to piano music before and fell in love with the complex and haunting sounds it could produce. However listening to it in person was another thing all together. He could see tears the flowed out from her shade, dripping down her cheeks. Her breathing quickly grew unstable as her tears dripped onto the keys, unnoticed by Clare. Her body swayed left and right dramatically, losing herself in the music.
Qhar'in held his knees with a vice grip, worried about his friend as he watched her cry. He understood that music, as well as other things, could move a human to release liquid from their eyes, but he had never seen it untill now. Slowly the music started to fade away, the spaces between the notes grew longer and longer until she hit six notes twice, dragging them on before releasing the keys for the final time.
Silence ruled over the two of them, only broken up by the soft, sobbing sounds that came from Clare. Timidly, Qhar'in rose from his seat and strolled over to her, placing his damp hands on her shoulders.
“That was beautiful, Clare. Are you okay?” Clare sniffled, taking her shades off to wipe her eyes clear, exposing her gray, dull eyes to the world.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I just can’t get over how beautiful the colours that flash are.” She sniffled again, popping bher shades back on.
“Colours that flash? I don’t understand. How can you see colours?” Qhar'in kneeled down beside her, lifting one of her hands to his face. It had always calmed her down for some reason. She told him it was one of the ways that she could actually 'see’. It never met sense to him.
“Right, that’s the other thing I mentioned. You know how I said that I figured out that I had Chromesthesia? Well, when I hear music I can…see colours. It’s hard to describe since I have no idea what they are but every time I play or listen to music. I figured that every blind person saw it so I didn’t say anything."
"You’re really stupid, but that is so awesome!” Qhar'in’s eyes sparkled with amazement.
“I know right?” She sniffed again, wiping the leftover tears. “With every new song I hear, I see more and more unique colours that I’ve never seen before. You wanna hear another?”
(Well, there it is. Again, sorry if it’s shit. I may love to write but that doesn’t mean I’m good ;-;)
Zork’ak was given the mission of studying human behaviors in a group setting. Xe were to check in on them as they worked in their laboratories and join them at both lunch and dinner, as they called it.
Xe was sitting with xer usually group of humans, listening to them discuss their projects and occasionally make “jokes,” which produced a loud and slightly obnoxious sound out of each one of them. Xe had just begun to wonder after all xer research if humans did anything for purpose or just for their own entertainment.
“Zork’ak,” Steve said. He talked with food in his mouth. Zork’ak often wondered if humans took too long to chew and that is why they will talk with the food still in their mouth.
“Yes,” Xe replied politely, attempting to turn the sides of xer mouth up in a “smile.” Xe were under the impression this made the humans more comfortable.
“We’re going to hang out in Carrie’s room after dinner. Do you want to join?”
Zork’ak saw this as a brilliant opportunity to continue xer research. Hopefully, this would be a bonding ritual, and they would begin to trust xem more.
Zork’ak followed the human pack to their quarters and into the room assigned to Carrie. Some of them leaned in a chair or on the bed, most sitting on the floor with their legs either folded or outstretched. All of them were quite close as there were six humans and one Klyl in this room. Zork’ak sat down on the floor, bending xer flippers to mimic Wren next to xem.
Carrie came in a few minutes later, holding bottles of some human liquid. When the human ship first arrive, the commander had all food items examined and allowed the humans to keep what was deemed acceptable. Several of them made loud noises as Carrie sat down bottles of clear liquids and pulled out tall bottles of dark liquids from the small refrigerator in the corner. Adam had placed plastic cups on the desk next to these bottles.
“Alright!” Carrie clapped her hands together. “We got vodka, tequila, gin, and, for you with horrible taste,” she looked at Steve and Adam, “everclear.”
The bottles were distributed around the room, everyone filling these cups. Zork’ak turned down the liquid, observing as cards were spread out in the center of the room. The main objective of this game was for specific people, or everyone, to drink from their cup based on which card they pulled. Zork’ak wondered how each person already knew the rules without explanation. The species seemed to have some unspoken laws about meaning things that made little sense to the Klyls.
As the night progressed, the humans added more liquid to their cups, and their voices increased in volume. The often made that loud noise, more so than normal, as if everything that was said was one of these “jokes.” They seemed to move slower and with more difficulty. After two hours, they abandoned their game all together. They were mostly talking over each other, saying unnecessary things that often made little sense.
Wren leaned onto Zork’ak’s leg at one point, her arms propped on xer leg. Zork’ak knew that humans bonded through touch so xe allowed it. Wren looked up at Zork’ak with one of those smiles. She was unlike herself.
“Zork’ak.” Wren seemed to struggle putting together a word that she said quite frequently. “You’re really great.” Wren then fell back on the ground, staring at the ceiling.
“Thank you, Wren.” Zork’ak was unsure how to respond. “I return the feeling.”
Wren launched upward, which seemed to dizzy her. “We like having you around.” She was staring past Zork’ak, not at xem. “Great friend.” Wren patted Zork’ak on the leg.
“Thank you,” Zork’ak repeated. “What is that in your cup?” It was evident it was some kind of mind altering liquid that they chosen to drink. How foolish!
“It’s booze!” Wren slung the cup towards Zork’ak. “Want some?”
Zork’ak politely declined, and Carrie answer from a few spots over. “This is alcohol. It makes you a little happy. We drink it sometimes, have a lot of fun.”
“And this is safe for you species?” Zork’ak was curious how such a powerful substance made these creatures happy.
“I mean, if you drink too much it can hurt your liver. Or you can black out and not remember anything. And it’s really like poison basically, so must people end up throwing it up. That sucks because then you have a hangover the next day. It’s like the worst headache ever and you feel so sick.”
“Then why would you drink something poisonous for your body?”
Carrie shrugged and gestured around her. “It makes you feel… different. A good different. And look at these people. It’s funny to watch.”
Zork’ak was not sure xe would ever understand this species.
In addition to multiple posts I’ve seen about humans surviving injuries against all odds, we also tend to ignore injuries, letting our bodies take care of the damage. Got a broken nose? Eh, it heals itself. Cut your leg open? Slap on some ointment and some gauze; it’ll be fine. Got a concussion? A little ice and time and you’ll be fine. So many of us will suffer through pain and fevers and awful physical problems and assume the body will heal itself.
Zork'ak was in the dining hall when the humans returned from their “cliff diving.” Several of them were laughing, but a few were clutching their head or their nose. Zork'ak rose to meet them, xer eyes cutting to the hurt members of the pack.
“Did your trip go well?” Xe asked.
Adam smiled. “Yeah, yeah really fun.”
“Yeah, my broken nose was definitely really fun.” Wren muttered. Her hand was indeed covering her face with thin material catching what looked to be blood.
“Shouldn’t you go to the medical wing?” Zork'ak asked.
Wren shrugged. “It’ll stop and heal itself.”
“Your body just regenerates broken extremities?” Zork'ak was more and more afraid of this species every time xe interacted with them.
“Not regenerate, per say,” Carrie answered to Zork'ak’s right. “It’ll just heal broken bones and cartilage. Once I got in a wicked fight, got two or three broken ribs. Hurt like a bitch.”
“And these bones? Do they also heal themselves?”
“Oh, yeah. All of our bones heal themselves. You just have to make sure you get it set right. Usually ribs and noses they can’t do anything about.”
Zork'ak was shocked, unsure of what to say, when xe noticed Jessica standing behind Carrie clutching her head. “Is Jessica well?”
Jessica looked up then, squinting at the light. “Concussion,” she said.
“What is a ‘concussion?’” Xe were almost afraid of the answer.
“It’s when you hit your head real hard and it hurts pretty bad. It can make things disorienting.” Carrie was looking at Jessica.
“Our medical staff should assess the damage from Jessica’s brain injury.”
Carrie shook her head. “We gave her some pain reliever, and I’m taking her to her room. She just needs it to be dark and to rest.”
With that, Carrie took Jessica down the corridor, and Zork'ak returned to xer seat.
The humans sat around xem at xer empty table.
“Hurts like hell, man. Not cool,” Steve was muttering.
“Oh, he was being nice. I would’ve hit you real hard.” Reese smirked.
“Are you all having a disagreement? A physical fight?” Zork'ak was alarmed. These humans could inflict extreme damage.
“Oh, no.” Adam was laughing. “Steve got a sunburn, and I hit him on the back. It was pretty fun.”
“You’re an asshole,” Steve said as he took a bite of his stew.
“A 'sunburn?’” Clearly the Klyl’s did not know anything about humans.
“Yeah. We have to put on a layer of sunscreen, like a protective lotion, or it’ll burn our skin. Kill the top layer.”
Zork'ak was gaping. “Our sun harms your skin?”
“Well, it’ not as strong as our sun, but yes. We can still get burned.”
“We must take you to the burn unit at once. We cannot allow you all to go outside if the sun is killing your skin layers.” Zork'ak started to rise from the bench.
Steve shook his head. “Give it a few days. It goes way. The body replaces those cells with new ones.”
Xe sank back onto xer seat. “Is there anything your body cannot heal?”
“Oh, yeah. Some infections and diseases, heart problems, cancer. Things like that.”
“But normal, everyday things,” Adam said, “We heal ourselves.”
Zork'ak wondered how the scorching of one’s skin or the breaking of a bone was an 'everyday’ thing, but xe was unsure of everything xe had learned before these humans arrived. Xe needed to see the commander.
So this is probably a topic that has been discussed, but I’d like to add a new story. Humans do some pretty weird things, survive situations against all odds, and defy most logic. But what about thrill seekers? They often risk their lives just to obtain a specific feeling. Imagine aliens attempting to understand these activities.
Zork'ak was passing a laboratory on xer right when xe heard the humans inside yelling what xe thought to be insults. Xe paused outside the room to see the humans huddled around the window against the back wall.
"Just do it you wimp,“ Jessica was saying to Steve.
Adam pushed him. “Come on. It’s not hard.”
Steve was shaking his head. “I hate heights, guys.”
Carrie was laughing and pulled herself up onto the ledge of the window, twisting to face the building. “Whatever. Just stay down here.” She stood up, her legs vanishing.
Zork'ak rushed in, grabbing Kai as she moved towards the window. Xe had heard of a ‘sadness,’ and emotion Klyl’s did not feel, could lead a human to take their own life. Xe had been warned that many humans would jump from great heights to complete this action.
"What are you doing!“ Xe exclaimed.
Adam touched Zork'ak’s shoulder. “Relax. We’re just climbing up to the roof.”
"I am concerned for your well-being. Are you all feeling the sadness.“
The four humans laughed wildly at that. "No, we are not depressed,” Kai said. She walked over to the window. “We’re just going up to the roof for lunch.”
Zork'ak backed out of the room and peered into the neighboring lab. Their window was open, and Wren was yelling out of the window and up above her. Soon Zork'ak saw these humans begin to climb out, too. Xe rushed forward again; this time seeking explanation.
"Reese! What is the meaning of this?“
The human turned around, smiling at xem. "We’re just going up to the roof. Come with us.”
Against xer better judgement, Zork'ak wanted to see what the humans were doing. It took all four of xer arms and xer talons dug into the concrete to climb up onto the room. Xe found all fourteen of the laboratory workers sitting around the roof. Some were laying on their backs, others eating food, a couple were even on the ledge of the roof. Zork'ak sat down near a group of humans in the center.
"You would hate skydiving,“ Adam was saying to Steve.
Carrie took a bite out of an apple, an odd Earth fruit. "Have you been?”
Adam nodded. “Pretty damn fun if you ask me.”
"I’ve been bungee jumping,“ Wren interjected. "You want to talk about a thrill.”
Jessica walked up behind Zork'ak. “I’ve done both.” She sat down next to xem.
"So which ones better?“ Carrie asked.
Jessica leaned back on her elbows. "Skydiving is more fun, but bungee jumping is more thrilling.”
Zork'ak cleared xer throat. “What is this ‘skydiving’ and ‘bungee jumping.’”
Jessica laughed. “Well, skydiving is where you jump out of a plan and free fall towards the ground, and then you open a parachute before you get too close, and you land. Bungee jumping is tying a rope to your leg, and then you jump off something really high, and the cord will yank you back just before you hit the ground.”
Zork'ak was puzzled. “Is this a training tactic?”
Adam looked at xem. “No, no. It’s just fun.”
"Thrilling,“ Wren added.
"You find falling to your death and trusting a cord or fabric to catch you before you hit the ground fun?”
They all nodded. “Pretty much,” Jessica said.
After lunch, Zork'ak rushed to the commander’s office. Xe found the commander at zis desk. “Commander!” Zork'ak burst into the room. “I have new information about human 'enjoyment.’”
Ze stood up. “Yes? What is it?”
"These humans, they enjoy jumping from tall heights or out of an air craft and falling towards the ground.“
"We already have that documented. That is-” the commander flipped open his book, scanning the pages, “suicide.”
"No, no,“ Zork'ak said. "They use a cord or piece of fabric to catch themselves just before they crash into the ground. They call it 'thrilling.’”
The commander rubbed his face. “Hmm. This is indeed a new subject. I will have Gneomm conduct an experiment with some of our humans to obtain more information. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”
A few days later, Zork'ak was moving down the corridor to xer office when xe saw most of the laboratory humans again. They waved to xem, and they all were wearing strange outfits and carrying bags on their backs.
"Are you all going on an expedition?“ Zork'ak asked.
Wren shook her head. "No, we’re going cliff diving.”
"There’s some pretty wicked ones a few miles downstream, makes for some hikes,“ Adam said as he walked past.
”'Cliff diving?’“ Zork'ak asked.
"It’s where you climb to the highest cliff, a tall piece of rock that juts out over the river, and then you jump.”
Zork'ak would have gasped if Klyl’s could. “Does this not hurt you?”
Wren shrugged. “If you land wrong or don’t jump far enough out, it can.”
"And you take this risk?“
Carrie laughed as followed the others. "Hell yeah. You just do it right, and it’s really fun.”
Wren smiled and walked alongside Carrie, wishing Zork'ak a good evening. Xe was frozen for a moment as xe watched the humans walk down the corridor. Xe took off in the opposite direction, bursting into the commander’s office again. “Commander,” Xe gasped. “I have more information.
Humans being space orcs and all most aliens would see them as these unstoppable bideps that can run, jump, climb, vault, take huge damages to our bodies and survive things that most specimens couldn’t hope to walk away from. But what about when our limbs fall asleep? Suddenly all of that grace and skill gets thrown out the window.
At some point, we’ve all experienced the sensation of “pins and needles"—that strange numbness that comes from applying pressure to our arms or legs.
We’ve got nerves running through our bodies that act as lines of communication between the brain and the other body parts, transmitting commands from the brain and relaying sensory information back to it for processing. With a “sleeping” limb, your nerves are going a little haywire because prolonged pressure has actually cut off communication between that limb and the brain. (The tingling sensation is technically called paresthesia.)
The whole while we try walking about looking like a new born horse that had just taken its first few steps and is learning to walk. Each step sending another jolt through your nerves as they try to get back to normal.
I’d imagine an alien crew being used to seeing Human-Chad running around with all the grace of a star athlete, seeing him fall from heights that would others put one of them out of commission, having crates fall on them with little more than a grunt as he shrugged it off or getting tackled by a full size Blergtalyulp (random alien version of a bull) ect.
Then after him sitting at a table for a little too long with his legs crossed, he tries to stand then suddenly finds himself basically incapable of controlling his left leg and he’s suddenly going to the school of funny walks in the cafeteria during lunch. The whole time watching this the aliens are freaking out because Chad never walked like that before! Is his leg broken? Is he injured? Dying?! Does he have some kind of Disease!?! What could hinder Chad of all sapients!?!?
Thought it would be a pretty neat thing to think about. Feel free for anyone to expand on it. (Little too tired to flesh out a full concept beyond it at the moment.)
Captain Prota dreaded meeting his new crew member, he had heard much about Humans and none of it made him any happier about having to employ one on his ship. He had heard about their toughness, their unpredictability, their high spirited nature and willingness to go boldly where no right-minded creature would go, but in the 15 years since the combined federation had had contact with Humans, he hadn't heard enough about their competence to satisfy him about hiring one. However, with the untimely death of his third engineer, he was stuck as he hadn't found anyone else here on earth who knew anything about the interphased fission drive of his ship.
He had no idea why the human wanted to work with them, the Sakkran people weren't known for their exciting nature or flair, they didn't seem to fit the Humans notion of “cute” or appeasing to the eye and most Humans had difficulty with their scaled skins and large canine teeth, but here this human was seemingly eager to work with them…and here he was.
Captain Prota watched as a slim figure walked up the gang ramp pushing a handcart loaded with his luggage. The Captain eyed him as he got closer. He was dark of skin and neatly attired, his pelt on his head was short and black and over his top lip was a thin line of hairs, even at 10 paces he could see that each hair was exact and in its place. He stopped the figure and hoped that the translator round his neck was working
"I am Captain Prota,“ he said. ” You are Mr Martin, welcome aboard" and he extended his hand in what he was told was an earth greeting, Mr Martin took his hand and shook it briefly up and down once. and then spook to the captain in well-accented Sakkran
“Thank you for greeting me, captain, Call me Brian if you prefer, most people do, Ah if someone could show me to my quarters I can drop my things off and begin acquainting myself with the engine bay and meet my colleagues, Thank you” the man stood stiffly at attention and the captain couldn’t help but approve
“Excellent you speak Sakkran, I am surprised. Certainly, now do you have any needs that will help you to settle in, I understand humans need animal companions, have you brought your own, anything for hobbies or special diets” he had heard that most humans needed these sorts of things.
“No thank you, sir, I'm allergic to animal fur so I don’t have pets, I have my reading material on my PADD and as you are omnivores I’ve already checked as to which foods of yours are compatible with human diets, and you have a gym so I can keep in shape, didn’t the agency tell you I spoke your language?”
“Ah no. just that you were familiar with our engines, Ah here's ensign Throkk, he will show you to the room and then to engineering. I shall see you at dinner, I hope you will be happy with us, we do prefer things quiet though, and a little dull” Brians lips gave a slight twitch
“I like things quiet and a little dull sir” he replied as the ensign led him away.
The Captain walked off to get things ready for takeoff in a week, he saw Brian at dinner but he was talking with the chief and second engineer about the engines so he put him out of his mind, he saw him occasionally at the gym, running on the treadmill in that stiff way of his and at dinner, it was a small crew only 50 on board so he was noticeable although barely, he was almost forgettable. Take off day rolled around quickly and he called the Chief Engineer into his office.
“How are we getting on Chief, Hows our new guy, No problems?”
“The guy knows the engines like the back of his hands Captain, he should do, that’s all he does, that’s all he talks about…are you sure he’s human, I’ve met a lot of them and frankly, he’s too boring to be a human”
“Boring? but humans aren’t boring, they are insane.?”
“Sir he is boring, He gets up, performs his morning ablutions precisely one hour before his shift, he then has our grain paste for breakfast, and then checks in with me 15 minutes before the shift to see if there are any issues, he then does his shift, exercises, has a nutritious meal and then reads until bedtime, he makes light small talk with people during breaks but its usually about work, we have run emergency simulations with him and he is flawless, he knows his job, …Sir.”
“What does he read?”
“Technical books sir, I asked, I was hoping to expand my reading materials, He reads books on engines, for fun sir”
Imagine the first time aliens see a human “zone out” while working. The human is just completely unresponsive for a short while and the aliens have no idea what’s happening.
Marnie had been working for a long time. She never took breaks for anything, and knowing how busy she was, the rest of the crew just left her to it. Eventually they realized that she hasn’t been seen outside of her office for a few Earth days, so Kaogj finally decided to confront her about it. “Human-Marnie,” xe said, “You have been absent from the rest of the ship for quite some time. Could you take a break from your work and rejoin us?” Marnie didn’t respond. She hadn’t even acknowledged Kaogj’s presence. Kaogj took a deep breath and tried once more, “Human-Marnie, I understand your work may be important. If I recall correctly you can’t stay here and neglect your needs like this. Please come join us.” Again, Marnie didn’t respond. The door to Marnie’s office slowly creaked open. Vincent, the other human shipmate, shuffled in quietly. Kaogj looked at him worriedly. “Human-Vincent, what is happening with Human-Marnie? She is not acknowledging me. Is she ill?” Xe asked, voice hushed. “No, no, she’s fine! She’s not sick. She’s just in the zone right now, that’s all.” Vincent breathed, smiling warmly. Kaogj looked even more concerned at this. “The zone? What does that mean? Will Human-Marnie survive?!” Vincent chuckled to himself. It was so funny to see the aliens encounter these things that humans deal with so commonly. “Yes, Marnie will survive! Being ‘in the zone’ is another way of saying that someone is super focused on what they are doing, so they block out everything else. Some of us, like Marnie, can’t hear things in that state. I’ll show you.” Vincent leaned over Marnie’s work bench and waved his hand above the documents she was writing on. She looked up, then stood up and stretched. “Hey Vinnie! What’s up?” She said cheerfully. “Sorry to bother you, but Kaogj thought you were dying or something because you’ve been working in here for so long and you wouldn’t respond. The crew wants you to join us for a meal.” “My apologies! I get so absorbed in my work, time just slips past me. I’ll gladly join you guys, I’m starving!” Kaogj looked down at his tablet and quickly wrote ‘Investigate Zoning Out’. This odd state is definitely going to need some research.
All species who first officially fly outside their own solar system are soon met with several thousand more species not as far as they thought. Those out there past a sun’s orbit will quickly reach out to make contact with these new creatures.
When you, humanity, reach past your own star, you are met with traditional greeting. The rundown, the history, who’s in charge, the laws.
And to that you said… nah.
The entitlement. Yikes. But that wasn’t uncommon and set off no red flags for the older and clearly much wiser species. Sometimes new species think they don’t need to be governed. You were regarded like a young toddler saying no to everything.
But as time went on, you continued to grow. And you continued to not accept governance from anyone else.
You got in trouble a lot.
This resistance wasn’t later detered. You doubled down, you armed your vessels, and you continued by your own laws.
That’s not to say you were unreasonable. (Although you surely saw yourselves as so). Despite the fears - even among your own kind - you didn’t take over planets already inhabited. You didn’t create needless wars or enslave innocent alien souls.
Then what was the problem, if not your morals?
You simply had your own way of living.
They recommended new planets for you, but no, you wanted that one.
They’d ask you let their services protect you from pirates, but no your missles did just fine. They explain that owning your own weapons is illegal… No it’s not because you didn’t make it illegal.
They’d teach you how to set up currencies… mmm, maybe? No. Never mind. Your way has been has been the norm for the past thousand years, and you, humanity, don’t do well with change. Unless it was your own idea.
Let us teach you the ways of art. Sure! But the Greeks did it better, still.
Your spaceships move too fast. You considered that to be the whole point of spaceships, despite alien’s insistance that it was illegal. At least communicate your routes. Of course! You didn’t want to crash, that’d be unreasonable.
Truthfully, humanity, you weren’t always right. And some of your ways really did have to change… at least one day. The aliens wouldn’t be your pushovers. You didn’t get away with everything. Scratching the furniture and knocking over a vase was frowned upon, so to speak.
But, you were mostly harmless. And eventually the other aliens learned that some of your ways they needed to let you do your way.
What makes humans weird isn’t that they have traits that are unheard of. In fact, many of their traits are rare, but often one can name other species with similar oddities.
What makes humans weird is they have so MANY rare traits. It’s one thing to have one or two in your species. But practically all of them???
“So they’re mostly hairless.”
“So like a Grovin?”
“Yeah but they also walk and run bipedally for REALLY long distances.”
“Ok, strange combo so far.”
“And thats barely the start, they’re also capable of sweating like Drask and have natural immunity to natural poisons and irritants like caffeine and capsaicin, they actually love the stuff and eat/drink them regularly.”
