#i dont know man
Achilles
We fool ourselves into omnipotence. It’s the way you treat me, with such unquestioning adoration, it’s hard not to buy into your belief when there’s such conviction. But the omnipotence is a beautiful lie, and occasionally it’s going to be tested, and it’s going to come up short.
Words fail, and I falter. Platitudes bubble up to the front of my mind like a foaming mouth, rabid nerves jittering around before I pin them down and say nothing, instead. There’s nothing to say, no problem of evil to crush between the trifecta of omnis. The insurmountable, the unfixable, defeats me.
But then this isn’t a relationship that’s supposed to crush all problems underfoot like a wayward troll stomping through the brush. It’s not supposed to be unassailable, unaffected. Issues aren’t supposed to ricochet from us as if we were armoured. It’s not about ignoring the hits, it’s about taking them.
Without words, I’m left with physical contact. The counterpoint to all those blows I’ve laid upon you, resting in the palm of a gently placed hand. The top of your head, against your side, pulling you close because then, at least, I can protect you from the things ahead, even if I didn’t manage those behind. I fool myself into omnipotence, because you sell the illusion so very, very well.
It should be good that I’m occasionally reminded of that, but somehow that doesn’t make it an easy cross to bear.
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Writing Dutch as having only ever read Miller is getting old, and I feel like there’s some lost opportunities when folk interpret Dutch as being purely psuedo-intellectual. Even in-game you can find books by other writers amongst Dutch’s things. I know it’s vindicating to depict the egotistical, condescending guy as fake-smart but unfortunately based off the evidence in the game Dutch seems to be genuinely well read for a man in his position and his interest in history, poetry and philosophy seems genuine as well.
And I wanted to write a whole thing here about how Dutch’s intellectualism fueled his ability to inspire his followers and empower them with a sense of self worth while ALSO fueling his deep seated, self destructive egotism but I… I don’t have the time.
So: Yes he is a pretentious windbag, no that does not mean he’s a stupid guy pretending to be smart.
ron, wide awake @ 3 am, 10 years after the war: “i’m just genuinely confused why harry did not see barty crouch jr. posing as alastor moody in the marauder’s map. like does polyjuice potion have some sort of effect that cannot be identified by the map? if so, then the real alastor moody in that chest in mad eye moody’s office was not shown in the map? so the chest has some sort of concealment charm or something? if that’s true, then i rest my case, maybe i’m just thinking too much into this. what about you, ‘mione?”
hermione: “go back to sleep, ronald.”
