#im numb

I just don’t feel anything anymore.
I feel like I’m lying next to a stranger after a one night stand.
I feel like a foot with pins and needles after sitting down for too long.
I feel like bleached skin after a burn or a scald.

I feel like the feeling of ‘love’ has been taken out of me. -Numb.

-Fxckromeo

An Ode to Goodbye My Princess

24 hours after the finale I’m finally able picking up the leftover of my heart and try to put everything together again. Still a little bit difficult to breathe but I try to weave back all fragments of memories for the past 6 weeks of Goodbye My Princess broadcast. Now how to describe this feeling? How to describe this story? How to describe their love story?

This isn’t the typical tragic love story between a human and an immortal.

This isn’t the typical tragic love story between two people of different social classes.

This isn’t the typical tragic love story where they have a life together and be separated by old age or illness.

This isn’t the typical tragic narrative where the separation happen at the end of the journey as fate ends between the two people.

This is a love story so dangerous and impossible between two mortals of the same status. It breaks and sweeps your heart into pieces and left it unhealed in the most despairing way. It is a love story so tragic yet good it touches the deepest part of your soul and left it bare in the core. This is the love between Li Cheng Yin and Xiao Feng.

Love came in the most unexpected ways. It only took seconds for them to fall for each other. They displayed a series of innocence and genuineness throughout their first journey even when all was built on a lie. They continued to depict how love was never enough for two people to stay together after a deep and high wall was built between them. But essentially love was also the only one thing that kept their red strings tied to each other.

Fate brought them together as two opposite sides. What Li Cheng Yin did to Xiao Feng’s family was enough to motivate one female lead to pursue a lifetime revenge plot. But what made this heart-wrenchingly painful was not the fact that Li Cheng Yin eliminated one tribe. It was the fact that, to finish his mission, he lied and manipulated the only one who genuninely liked him and he eventually fell in love with for real.  

Typical tragic love story will dwell on the narrative of two people coming from different social status. But what GMP did was putting on hope that this should just happen instead to cancel the tragic theme. It’s because both Li Cheng Yin and Xiao Feng had the same social status, that their fate kept entangled and locked them together. They owned each other’s hearts yet they had always been standing against one another. The invisible and vast walls between them were so hard to tear down. Even when each of their fleeting moments managed to crack them a bit, it was still not enough to bring them together. But in these very brief moments can the truthfulness and the very essence of their love be found.

I cried an ocean and was so devastated watching the last episode. The last scene between Li Cheng Yin and Xiao Feng was so excellently directed and executed. It was a majestic and splendid cinematic experience. The dialogues and the emotions hit the right spot. The pain is excruciating yet also feels beautiful at the same time. Even after staring at my ocean of tears, I don’t have any regret. They are worth every drop of the tears cause their soul-shattering love story was absolutely glorious while it lasted.

“Li Cheng Yin, I forgive you. I forgive all the sweetness, indebtedness, hope and despair between us. I choose to free you. From now on, we don’t have any emotional entanglement anymore.”

“You are the only person I have ever loved, it’s you, Li Cheng Yin.”