#incorrect fairy tail quotes
ladies and gentlemen, natsu as a dad:
Mirajane: I’ve done enough girlbossing.
Mirajane: It’s time to girlrest, girlsleep, girlliedown.
Lucy: *answers phone* Hello?
Natsu: It’s Natsu.
Lucy: *sighs* what did he burn this time?
Natsu: No, not like that, it’s actually me.
Lucy: What did you burn this time?
Hibiki: Why do guys call each other “pretty boy” as an insult? That’s the most flattering thing anyone could say to me
Hibiki: Call me pretty boy
Hibiki: Tell me I’m the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen
Makarov: WHAT HAPPENED?
Erza: You want the long or the short?
Makarov: The short.
Natsu: Shit’s fucked.
Makarov: …okay, the long.
Gray: Shit’s very fucked.
Lucy: My main dilemma when I see a pretty girl is am I jealous of her or attracted to her? Do I want to be her or date her?
Lucy: Therapy is expensive, but you know what isn’t? Traumadumping at the dark guilds trying to kill you until they feel so bad they stop
Mirajane: Are- are you okay?
Lucy: Do I look-
Levy: Humans are not the only animals that engage in homosexuality, but are the only animals that engage in homophobia.
Gajeel: Wrong, I limped my wrist at Lily and he attacked me.
Gray: Pros and cons of dating me.
Gray: Pros. You’ll be the cute one.
Gray: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
Erza: I joined Fairy Tail for the same reason people go to zoos.
*camera cuts to Natsu and Gray beating the living shit out of each other*
Erza: Look at that. Nature is beautiful.
Jellal: This is the grossest, most emotionally manipulative, most exploitative thing I have ever seen in my life.
Ultear: Aww, thank you.
Natsu: are you busy?
Lucy:yes.
Natsu: cool, listen to this
Lyon: The phrase “free as a bird” is often misused. It means you don’t have to pay for them. See a bird? Pick it up. It’s yours now. I have 4 hawks, 10 pigeons, 23 crows, and a penguin.
Wendy: Lucy, I know you love Natsu. I mean, we all do! He’s a very nice person and we respect him immensely.
Gray: But we think he might be a fucking idiot.
Mirajane: Master, you look stressed.
Makarov: Thanks, it’s the stress
Kidnapper:We have Natsu!
Gray: You poor bastard
Lyon: you’re really campaigning for Asshole of the Year, aren’t you?
Gray: as defending champion, are you nervous?
Loke: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’
Loke: Doesn’t work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.
Bickslow: Could you take Laxus?
Freed:Easily.
Freed: Oh, you meant fight
Levy:You stare at your coffee hoping it gives you perspective and sanity and the ability to make sense of it all and that’s a lot to ask of your coffee
Ultear: Something’s off.
Jellal: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Ultear: No, but that’s funny.
Laxus: Careful, if you keep being so sweet people are going to start thinking that you’re in love with me.
Freed: What could I have ever possibly done to make you think I’m not?
Cana: *rolls car window down* What seems to be the problem, officer?
Officer: Get out of my car
Natsu: Lucy, you love me a lot, right?
Lucy: Usually I’d say yes without hesitation, but I think you’ve done something and it has gone horribly, horribly wrong
Freed: What I’m about to tell you is going to make you want to kill me.
Laxus: I’m not going to kill you,Freed.
Laxus: It takes too much time to break in a new best friend.
Erza: Well, you know what they say - hindsight is 20/20.
Lucy:
Lucy: It kind of seems like regular sight should have caught that one.
Juvia: Juvia’s having boyfriend-girlfriend issues with you.
Gray: …We aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend though.
Juvia: Yeah, that’s the issue.
Zeref: So, what do you look for in a partner?
Mavis: A pulse, usually.
Zeref: *slams fist on the table* fuck
