#indecisive

final game design - doubles as a poster.

the wheels of indecisions! a pretty game for indecisive people, inspired by vintage fortune telling games. I also make mini versions. :)

Knuckle Puck // Calendar Days / Indecisive 7″ (/500 Half Clear / Half Baby Pink Splatter)

PLU, here I come!

I have never been a University student. In the Philippines, I chose to study at St. Scholastica’s College instead of going to a University because I heard they had a better music program. When I got here in America, the only option I had was to go study in a community college. Otherwise, I would have totally studied in a University for fiscal reasons.

After 2 and a half years of juggling paths and courses, I got my AA degree and got accepted at Pacific Lutheran University (PLU) as a transfer student. Now I know I have stated multiple times that “music is my dream” and the like, but if the honesty stick was passed on to me, that would be a total lie. In truth, I actually never knew what I wanted. I chose music because I was kind of good at it, and it was the only career I could picture myself doing at that time. But at the back of my mind, I always had that tinge of self doubt and anxiety asking me “Would I regret this in the future? Is this what I really want?” 

Don’t get me wrong, I love music. I love playing the piano, and it brings me joy to be able to play pieces I thought I could never do, but I’m just not passionate about it. I never was. I clouded myself with this lie for years thinking that maybe someday I could convince myself that THIS is really what I want. But I can’t lie to myself anymore. I owe it to myself to at least be honest with what I want. 

Months ago, in the midst of pursuing my music and nursing path, I realized that I loved doing photography. I would go out of my way to study the techniques to get that right photograph. Youtube, national geographic books, photoblogs, google, you name it. I loved doing it, but I was too scared to pursue it. When my parents saw that I wasn’t into music, they sat me down and asked me what I really wanted. I told them what it was, and they support me with whatever path I want to take. That was when I told PLU that I might not make music as my major, but photography instead.

I haven’t declared a Major right now, but I will be taking both art and music classes this Fall. I have worked and built a path for my music career all my life, and suddenly I’m taking a detour at something I haven’t worked hard as much as I did in music. I most likely would choose photography over music, but nothing is set in stone. I’m just happy that my conscience is clear on this one, and I am at least one and a half step closer to my destination–wherever that may be.