#3am thoughts

Sohasem fogod tudni megtalálni önmagad, ha elveszel valaki másban

If there’s another life, I hope you’re mine again.

No words can describe the love I feel for you.

I’ll always choose you.

In any lifetime, in any world,

I’ll always choose to love only you.

You fill my heart with so much love.

I want to make you happy for the rest of my life.

You give me strength when I’m weak.

When you picture yourself in your head, do you actually visualize . Because I don’t. Like sometimes I just know that I’m there and other times it’s just like my back or side profile. I never picture my face. To be honest, I don’t think I can visualize my face. Now if that’s just an insecure thing or an everybody thing, I don’t know.

I’m kind of considering suicide again

I’m kind of considering suicide again.

It’s not that I’m getting worse

I’m just not getting better

It’s been months, hell it feels like it’s been years

And it’s managed to remain a long

Empty

Numb

Tunnel.

It’s been a blank canvas set up on a easel

But never painted

A new google doc pulled up on a student’s laptop

But not started

A guitar with no strings

If it was going to get better would it not

Already be okay?

Or at least not as bad as it’s been

I find myself listening to “The night we meet”

And “The scientist”

Reminding me of how these feelings

Have been before

And just keep coming again

Why should I keep trying?

Why should I keep fucking trying?

No matter how difficult and defeating life can sometimes feel, there is always something to feel grateful for.

I think there are some loves that aren’t meant to last, that burn what they’re meant to illuminate and drown what they’re meant to nourish.

I’m having such a hard time forgiving you because I’m not sure whether there is a point in offering you a second chance.

I want you to know that you’ve come a long way and that every version that you’ve been or will become is good enough.

It took losing you to find myself.

He’s his to fix and you’re yours to love.

After him, she was free.

One day you will finally understand why everyone else left, why they were wrong for you, why it never lasted with anyone else because you will be with the one who brings out the best in you and knows you’re the best person for them.

You still took up all this space in me- and then left the gaping hole behind once we stopped talking to each other.

You can break my heart but you can’t break my soul.