#indirectly
Este perro me lo regaló mi ex, igual de falso que ella.
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Psicólogo: ¿Y qué hacemos cuando nos llegan los impulsos suicidas?
Yo: Cortar horizontal, es mejor que vertical.
Psicólogo: Lo dijo al revés…
Oh, miren. Un sitio en el que puedo conocer a más personas en línea y fingir que soy cool:
*Cinco minutos después*
![](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0abd5d982116caae5c1e7e8e6ea6af3c/tumblr_phcdexrSHg1vaxrol_250.jpg)
![](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0e4767481f930011104e01e67aef6edb/tumblr_phcdexyvG01vaxrol_400.jpg)
Si las moscas solo viven 24 horas, ¿por qué después de un año mi ex sigue viva?
Si alguna vez dejamos de hablar y no sabes cómo regresar, envíame un meme y di «me acordé de ti», no te contestaré porque probablemente la habías cargado, pero me harás saber que me extrañas.
Malditas lluvias. Hoy de camino al colegio me resbalé y volví a caer en tus mentiras.
Si me pagaran por ser distraído, sería pobre, ya que siempre paso poniéndote atención, bb.
—Me gusta una chica pero es muy bruta y no entiende las indirectas.
—¿Cómo se llama?
—Ana. :3
—Oh, una tocaya mía. Salúdala de mi parte. Xd
—… :)
Entrar a WhatsApp, ver un mensaje, responder con un sticker, volver al teclado, escribir algo, intentar poner un emoji y que en su lugar se vaya un sticker sin sentido que terminas borrando de manera sutil.
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Vi que te gusta mi novia, a ver si también te gusta una puñalada en el estómago, hdp.
Mujeres que se pintan las cejas, nunca mueran. Si no quién les va a hacer semejante rayón. JAJAJAJAJA.
Puto calentamiento global, hace unos minutos me estaba muriendo de frío y ahorita estoy ardiendo por ti, bb.
Hoy desperté y no vi tu mensaje de buenos días, ¿por qué te niegas al éxito?
No soy Movistar, pero puedo ser tu mejor compañía, bb.
-De un comentario.
Yo, ocultando el florero que quebré para que cuando lo encuentren la echen la culpa a mi hermano:
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okay so in the same vein as this postby@deeisace (hardison is june’s nephew)
it’s post-canon for leverage and in the middle of white collar canon
so parker, hardison, and eliot are in new york city for a con and hardison is like, I want y’all to meet my aunt, she’s great! her husband was actually a conman and she taught me some skills! she’s super nice and I think you’ll really like her!
parker loves the idea of her immediately, and eliot is already planning dishes to make her in his mind, so they’re all really excited
and then they meet her and it goes swimmingly, of course! june loves parker and is impressed by her pickpocket skills and is infatuated with eliot’s country boy charm and manners
she says in passing that she’s actually housing a thief at the moment
AND THEN NEAL AND MOZZIE WALK IN AND ITS LIKE
*record scratch* *freeze frame*
eliot: neal?
neal: eliot?
parker: mozzie?
mozzie: parker?
neal: did you just say parker, like theparker?!?
hardison: aunt june ???
neal:aUNT JUNE?!?
(basically, it’s the spiderman pointing meme mixed with the shrek 2 dinner scene)
and then they all find out that everyone knew each other except hardison- of course, just his luck- although they all have heard of one another
maybe neal and mozzie don’t know that the leverage crew is actually good (think: sophie’s old partner thought they were ‘the baddest crew this side of the country’ or whatever it was lol)
neal is like ‘june, you condone this???’
june is like ‘of course, he’s my little robin hood’
mozzie is like ‘they literally rigged a court trial. they blew up a train. they rigged an election and took over a country!’
(parker: it was a small country tho
eliot: ,,,babe)
hardison is like ‘yeah, but we help people. we made sure a corrupt medical corporation paid for their misdeeds and a widow got justice for her husband. the train had an emp bomb that would take out a city. and we took down damien moreau in san lorenzo.’
neal: …you took down damien moreau???
parker: yeah, like it’s hard?
(hardison and eliot, who just watched legally blonde with her two nights ago: …)
basically it would be a super chaotic meeting ensued by crime hijinks when neal, mozzie, and june help with the con for funzies
(peter, across the city, watching neal’s anklet tracking data while his mental neal bullshit alarm going off: …nEAL)
+ bonus
neal finds out the three of them are partners both in crime and in life and is like why can’t that be me
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