#james holmes

In light of recent events (aka the horrible incident that happened in Colorado around midnight last night) I have decided it is indeed time to talk about life, this journey, and what it means.

To be quite honest with you, I think everyone is fully aware that life is short, but a lot of people take that for granted. Far too many people also take life way too seriously. As annoying and overused the phrase “YOLO” is, it is extremely true. As far as we know, you do only live once, so make it worthwhile. Life is too short for regrets, so even if you do regret something, put it behind you and move on. Stop thinking about and living in the past. Live in the present. Live in the present, because this is where you are now, this is the youngest you will ever be again, and frankly, if you don’t you will probably wind up regretting these moments too. I have made a lot of decisions in the past where I am not like “well shit I should have never done [or said] that” but then I put it behind me. Screw regret. It’s just our mind’s way of haunting us.

I was talking to one of my friends today about work, telling him how busy I have been all week working overtime to get everything done that needed to be done. He’s usually not serious - always the one making jokes and the one we go to for a laugh, not advice - but he said something serious and seriously true - “you have the rest of your life to be an adult. You’re in your prime, have fun and do what you want”. That’s something we tend to forget. We’re so busy with school and/or work that we forget to be a kid sometimes. We forget that this is our time - with no kids, no bills to pay, no worries other than school and work - to have fun. This is our time to be adventurous, to stay up all night and have a movie marathon just because we can, to make our dreams a reality. 

That’s what this whole bucket list thing is about. It’s about taking things that seem impossible and so far out of our reach, and make them possible. To make our wildest dreams come true. If you would have told me when I started high school that by the time I finished my first year of college I’d have started rowing, driven a four-wheeler, and most importantly, found friends who I can be my complete self around and not care what anyone thinks, then I would have told you you’re effing insane and should probably check yourself into a mental institution. Five years ago I worried about so much - what people thought of me, how my hair looked (god forbid I went au natural), what I got on every single test and quiz, how I acted. I thought I had to be perfect. I think part of it is how I was raised. I love my parents, but there came a point where I just stopped listening to them. I didn’t rebel, but I realized that my parents are the parents that push me to do more and strive for more - nothing is ever good enough. I realized that I could never make them (or anyone) happy if I didn’t first make myself happy. The more I focused on my own personal happiness, the more happy my parents became as well (shocker, shocker  right? haha). 

This whole incident at the movie theater in Colorado is a horrible reminder of how short life is. We never know when God will decide it is our time to go - whether it will be tragically or naturally. He has a plan for each of us (sorry I’m not sorry for the God-talk you non-believers out there, but this is my blog, I’ll say what I want ;] ) and no one, not even doctors, know what that is. It’s like the infamous case of a doctor telling a patient they have x amount of time to live, and then they wind up living longer. No human knows, only God does. I’m not in any way saying God’s plan for James Holmes was for him to be personally responsible for the largest shooting in U.S. history, killing a dozen people and injuring dozens more, but I am saying people are taken from us all too soon sometimes, because loss teaches us a painful reminder - one that we need. No one goes to a movie theater thinking “Hm, maybe there will be a mass shooting tonight.” There was a 6-year-old, 4-year-old, and 4 month-old baby in that audience. If my parents had taken me to a midnight premier of a movie when I was 6 and I got to wear a costume to boot, I’d have told every kid I knew and every kid I saw. I would never think of something like that could ever happen. As if kids weren’t scared enough of the world, add witnessing a mass murder. I can almost guarantee those kids, along with many other witnesses are going to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The world? Yeah it’s kind of a mess. But of course it is. I researched this guy and it sounds like he didn’t really have many friends, and when he got to Colorado to get his PhD it sounds like he didn’t have any. He went on a downward spiral. He had no friends there, his grades dropped, he started to withdrawal from school, and he started to buy guns. Humans need friends - psychology will tell you that. It’s kind of hard to believe, but in all honesty if he had some friends in Colorado, there’s a chance this tragedy would not have happened. The same goes for the Virginia Tech shooter. There is a recurring trend here, which really gets me thinking about friendship. Everyone deserves a friend. Even just 1 good friend. My friends keep my feet on the ground, and the same could have rung true for those 2 men. But instead, these days (along with many others) will go down in infamy.  

“Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don’t even deserve to be an issue in your life.” -Anonymous

It has been 8 years since the 2012 Aurora, Colorado shooting, committed by James Holmes. The Aurora shooting occurred during a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises. Twelve people were killed and seventy others were injured by Holmes.

[Holmes plead not guilty by reason of insanity, he was later sentenced to 12 consecutive life sentences plus 3,318 years without parole. Holmes was convicted of 24 counts of first-degree murder, 140 counts of attempted first-degree murder, and one count of possessing explosives.]

Rest in peace,

Gordon Cowden, 51

Rebecca Wingo, 31

Jesse Childress, 29

Matt McQuinn, 27

John Larimer, 27

Alex Sullivan, 27

Jonathan Blunk, 26

Jesse Ghawai/Redfield, 24

Alexander C. Teves, 24

Micayla Medek, 23

Alexander J. Boik, 18

Veronica Moser-Sullivan, 6