Pairing: Jean Kirstein x Dom Female Reader
Characters: Jean Kirstein, Levi Ackerman, Sasha Braus, Connie Springer
Rating:NSFW
Content:Overstimulation, dacryphilia, marking, edging, brat-taming, forced submission, worship, orgasm denial

This is another request! AHHH! Thank you so much @Sayakarii for your support, I hope you enjoy it ^v^ Writing this was a blast! We stan horse boy up in here. <3

This is set in season 4 when Jean is 19-years-old :) There are NO SPOILERS for season 4 of Attack on Titan but there may be a few for the first 3 seasons. Please be wary. This is also not accurate to season 4, I’m just making shit up. 

“Y/N! Watch out!” Your head snaps toward a blurred object flying towards your face. You narrowly dodge it with a quick adjustment to your in-air height. 
You glance back at Sasha who gave you the warning. “Thank you!” You shout back. 
You knew that going into battle was going to be a challenge, but never had you imagined it to be this degree. One wrong move or strayed attention and you’ll be dead in seconds. 
While, of course, you’re terrified – There’s also that rush of danger that seems to make you smile all the while facing almost certain death. 

“Y/N I swear if you cheat death one more fucking time–” You hear a voice call out from the distance to your right. You look over to see Jean flying through the air with his brows furrowed.
“Sir yes sir!” You holler before swiftly avoiding the debris flying through the air from collapsing buildings. You had always been known on the squad as the one who just barely misses death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“I’m tellin’ ya Y/N, this luck of yours is insane.” Connie huffs, throwing off his ODM gear. 
You follow suit, feeling the weight lift off of your waist. “It’s more of a curse at this point.” You joke. Feeling a strain on your neck, you rotate your head to stretch it out. 
“Get rest tonight.” The striking voice of your captain Levi echoes through the room. “From here on out there won’t be any breaks.” You groan quietly at his remark while you refill the tanks to your gear. 

Your eyes dart up to Jean on the other side of the room. He appears grumpier than usual. In fact, it reminds you of your old training days with him as a teenager. You slide off the wooden boxes and trot over to him. 
“What’s with the sour look?” You ask, bending over so your eyes are level. 
Jean shakes his head as he continues to refill his tanks. "What? You ignoring me or something?“ You ask as you stand upright, throwing your hands on your hips. Yet still. Silence. Anger slowly bubbles inside your chest, growing impatient at his childish behaviour. "That’s it.” You grab him by the scruff of his neck and pull him towards you. “You’re coming with me.” With no further comment, he follows obediently. 

Once you reach your personal quarters, you push him inside and lock the door. “Wanna tell me what that shit was about?” You ask, crossing your arms and raising an eyebrow.
Jean clenches his jaw. Clearing avoiding eye contact with you. “You really don’t care. Do you?”
His words catch you by surprise. “Pardon? Care about what?”
“Yourself!” He yells, stepping closer toward you. “You have no fear for your own life. You go out into battle like it doesn’t matter if you return or not.” He pauses. Now frowning and heaving to himself. “Fuck you.”
You look to the floorboards, trying to hide your smile as your tongue grazes over your lips. “And what does it matter to you?” You ask, looking back up at him with a cocky look plastered on your face.
“Go fuck yourself.” He huffs whilst looking at you through his downturned eyebrows. 
“I think you should be a little nicer, Jean.” You warn, adding a vindictive emphasis on his name.
“Or what?” He tests, getting in your face. Just a few mere inches away. “What can you do. Huh?” It was the one thing about him that never failed to tick you off, the headspace that he was always the one in charge no matter who he was facing. Aside from Levi of course. 

You flash him a fake smile before grabbing a fistful of his hair and throwing him to his knees. Jean grips your wrist of the hand that’s tangled in his hair, trying to release the pressure on his skull. 
“Let’s try that again hm?” You grin, forcing him to look up at you. 
Jean scoffs at you and squints his eyes. “You really think you can dominate me?” His condescension just pisses you off that tiny bit more.
“Yes.” You pull him in closer to you, tightening your grip which makes him wince. “I do.” 
He raises an eyebrow, obviously in denial that you could make him submit to you. “I’d like to see you try.” He titters. 
“Careful what you wish for.” You nudge the tip of your boot-covered foot against his crotch, taking note of the tent in his pants from being completely erect. “If I were mistaken, I’d say you’re enjoying this.” You tease, slighting rubbing him through his pants. “Tell me, what part made you hard? Was it when I pulled your hair? Or is it when I forced you onto your knees?” You shift in tone sent chills down his spine.
Jean’s cheeks flush to a bright red, eyes slightly glazing over. You can tell he needs one more nudge to throw him into subspace. You graze your thumb over his bottom lip, now noticing him urging forward in desperation for a kiss. 

You straighten yourself and walk away from Jean who remained on his knees, watching you intensely as you sit on the edge of the bed.
“Come.” You command, throwing one leg over the other. 
Jean vigorously shakes his head as if to snap himself out of the state. “You really think I’m gonna–”
“Jean.” Your tone now far more forceful. You lean forward and stare at him, eyes of ice and filled with intimidation.  “I said come.”
He says nothing. Strictly obeying your command, he attempts to stand. 
You click your tongue with displeasure. “No. Crawl to me.” 
Jean body visibly trembles under your command. He slowly but surely crawls on all fours and sits by your legs. 
“Good boy.” You lift his chin with your foot, making sure that he’s looking up at you. With no further words, you rest your leg over his shoulder. He makes no hesitation to kiss you through your clothes all the way from your ankle to your inner thigh. Worshipping your body as if you were his new God. 
You run your fingertips up his neck, his head tilting up with the movement. You lean further in to him, lips just inches away. Jean’s eyes begin to flutter shut, awaiting your contact. You barely sweep his lips with your own, far too light to be a kiss. 
“Hm. I don’t think you deserve it yet.” You whisper. His mouth gapes open yet he says nothing. A frown paints his face. You smile at his obvious frustration. 

“Please…” His body jerks as your hands slowly explore his upper half. Every touch that you lay on his body just makes it all the more obvious that he’s in subspace. His sensitivity now at its max.
“Please what?” You taunt. Knowing exactly what it is that he wants.
He bites his bottom lip, trying to work up the nerve. “Help me…” His eyes full of desperation as he motions to his crotch. “Hurts.” 
You look down, considering giving him what he desires. A wicked plan brews in your mind. “Okay. Come sit up here.” You say, patting the spot beside you.
Jean practically jumps to his feet and crawls over. You straddle his legs, leaving enough room to touch him. 

You tie his wrists together with your belt and pull down his zipper at an almost agonisingly slow pace. Unsurprisingly, his cock springs free at the release from its previously cramped space. Jean exhales at the feeling.
Even if you hadn’t known how horny he was before, it was oh so obvious now. Rock hard and already leaking precum. You smirk to yourself, taking it as a compliment. 
You slide your hand down his cock, coating it in his own precum. You set yourself for a rhythmic pace, not too fast for him to come yet not too slow to be dull. Jean dips his head back, engulfed in the pleasure. His mouth agape and letting out shallow breaths.
You quicken your pace. His legs jolt at the sudden speed. Jean covers his mouth with his hand, knowing that anyone who walks past could hear through the door with cracks in the wood. He groans lowly, signalling that he’s close. As his voice begins to break, you let go. Taking away his stimulation and denying his orgasm. 
Jean whines and stares at you with a frustrated look. His flushed cheeks and heaving chest is a sight you find rather cute. 

Purely out of spite from his behaviour earlier, you repeat this process. Over and over until Jean begs with tears streaming down his cheeks. You teased him until he because so sensitive that all it could take is one singular touch and he’d immediately come. 
“P-please! Please let me come. Please I need it so bad.” He cries out, not caring who hears. His eyes stained red from crying, the view of it all stirs an animalistic desire within you. 
You wrap your hand around his neck and lean in to his ear. “You wanna come so bad? Fine.” Your words send goosebumps over his body. 
He watches intensely as you slide your pants down just enough to expose yourself without having to remove your harnesses. 

Jean inhales sharply as you hover yourself over his throbbing cock. With a devious grin, you quickly sink down. His entire length stretches your insides causing you to gasp. You had forgotten just how big he actually was.
That one action is all it takes for him to reach his climax, shooting his cum deep inside of you. Jean’s body trembles from the release that he had been chasing for what felt like hours. His head rests against your shoulder where he attempts to catch his breath all the while choking back on his tears. 
You ignore his exhaustion and continue to bounce on him. Jean’s head springs up to look at you.
“W-wha–”
“You really thought I’d stop there? Oh no baby.” Your hips slam against his thighs. Jean shrieks at the overstimulation, still too sensitive from his orgasm.
“Please!” He cries. “I can’t! I can’t come again! Hurts!”
You remain ignorant, now picking up your pace. More tears fall from his eyes. In a moment of softness, you give in to a kiss. He hungrily kisses back, whining against your lips. 
“Good boy, just a little longer.” You pant, knowing that your own orgasm is vastly approaching. 

As you approach the final build-up, your lips connect with his neck. Sucking deep hickies into his skin. Jean yelps at the overwhelming sensations. With your climax in close proximity, you bite down onto his shoulder. Sinking your teeth so deep into his skin that blood trickles from it. It seems as though not even Jean could compose himself as he comes for a second time, filling you completely with his semen. 
You ride out the high of euphoria, panting against Jean’s almost crumbling body. 
“If you… get off now… it’s gonna go everywhere.” He says between breaths. 
You laugh to yourself. “And whose fault is that mr you-can’t-dom-me.” 
Jean rolls his eyes and kisses your temple. “Definitely noted to listen to you next time.”
You wipe his face of the now drying tears. “Levi said we should get rest tonight.” He watches as you free his hands from the belt-bind, the tightness leaving faint bruises.
“Maybe don’t tell him about this…”

__________________________________________________________________
I’M BACK BITCHES I stayed up like all night writing this cos sudden inspiration. Also- Y’ALL I LEGIT MISS SUBSPACE SO MUCH WTF 
You know when you just like lose all concept of reality and it’s just ‘obey’ UGH
Haven’t had any action in yonks heartbeenbrokesomanytimes :,)

Day 64 : Jean

eren yeager + tweets tht make me think of him - pt.2

+ bonus !!

80’ Canon couple

Chapter Twenty Two

Tender sun rays whisked Eden’s cheeks soothingly.

Through closed eyelids, she could still feel the light beaming through the glass window; washing over everything in the room; including her physiognomy. Her arm extended against the mattress; as though she was blindly searching for the contact of cool skin under her fingertips.

But, all she did was graze over the washed out duvet cover. Blinking rapidly, she carefully slipped her eyes open, arching her back as she stretched- like a slender cat equipping herself for a heavy day out on the cobbled streets of Trost.

She had memorized the room’s layout all too well; every single detail etching itself into the back of her brain as she recollected the heated position she had been placed in by Captain Levi. Gingerly, Eden pressed her fingertips against her lips; the taste of him still lingering, the softened flesh cracked and bruised.

According to her muddled up thoughts; she had passed out in the bed after being gifted with the carnal opportunity of kissing Captain Ackerman. The thought of his blown-out pupils gazing down at her in such a wanton way made heat rush through her body like adrenaline; despite the fact that she had only just woken up a few minutes prior.

The harnesses lay draped over the armchair; her body clothed with just her shirt and her pants. Eden was way too anxious to remove her clothing during the night; afraid that Levi’s glinting, silver eyes would scorch her body and she’d give in way too easily.

Resting her back against the headboard; she looked through the window with a blank look painted on her face; her knees pressed against her chest. She wondered where he had gone; whether he regretted it all, whether he wanted more.

Whether he was feeling the same way she was.

The front door creaked open and the sound of boots resonated through the spacious room. Eden’s eyes flitted towards the motion; only to be met with Levi’s uniformed back as he moved to close the door behind him.

Once he turned back in her direction; his eyes widened at the feline look that bore through him. He had two teacups in his hand; the steam grazing across his palms as it ascended out from the liquid.

“I brought you tea.” Levi spoke first in a low voice as he stalked across the room; gently handing Eden one of the teacups before lowering himself to sit beside her.

“Thank you,” she replied, shyly accepting the beverage with an unsteady hand and flustered cheeks. Levi regarded her intently through hooded eyes as her lips pressed against the orifice of the cup.

The tea was sweet and fruity- almost floral. Her stomach flipped when Levi rested his hand on the top of her knee.

Putting the teacup back onto the saucer resting on the nightstand; Eden perked up against the headboard, amber eyes glued to dull leaden-blue ones. His hand began trailing up her thigh. Her lungs begged for air as her heart grew stuck in her throat; lips parting slightly.

“I liked watching you struggle under me last night,” Levi breathed out; the hand on her thigh growing stronger. His words were like molten lava flaming her entire body up.

Levi swiftly used the grip on her body to pull her downwards, her head falling back into the pillows. Within a matter of seconds, he moved his body to tower over her, the darkened glint in his eyes revealing carnal fantasies making Eden’s own eyes widen. His knee pressed in between her legs as he lowered his head; promptly capturing her lips with his. She hissed at the sensation of his knee brushing against her; her arms snaking around his neck as she deepened the kiss.

His lips were gentler as opposed to the kisses he had peppered her with the night before. They were silky and smooth; but sharp enough to slice through the built-up tension in the room. Letting out a low, guttural groan, Eden’s body arched into him as his hand roamed her body over her clothes. His fingertips dragged painfully slowly over the curve of her breast, following the path along her slender waist before finally settling to squeeze her hip.

Eden let out another softened mewl against his lips when his own hips brushed against hers and his kisses grew more brutal. Her sweet sounds caused the Captain to hiss in pleasure against her lips; teeth sinking into her bottom lip.

“You’re being a tease,” the girl groaned as he sucked on her lip, a subdued growl reverberating out of him as he slipped his eyes shut.

“Where’s the pleasure in the lack of torture, brat?” His cool fingers raked through her hair before tucking on the locks lightly; causing her chin to jut out to the side. He used her angled head to kiss her neck; deeply enjoying the way Eden’s eyes fluttered closed, her fingers gliding over his sharp undercut.

Eden felt like time was slipping through her fingers in such a rapid pace. It was like the next breath she took was about an hour later; when both her and  the Captain’s lips were bruised and swollen.

He left her to change in peace and as Eden clasped the hook of her green cape around her neck, the scent of his cologne overwhelmed her senses once more. Every little flicker of her eye, every pant she took, every sensation that garnished her fingertips caused her to immediately think back to him.

She had never known what the term ‘forbidden fruit’ had meant until she was met with Levi’s cold lips.

Much to her surprise, Levi had offered to take her out on a tour around Trost. Albeit the painful memories of her first battle within this district playing out behind her eyes; she accepted, listening intently to the way the Captain informed her about another, undisclosed task that was hushed-up between himself and Commander Erwin.

Walking side-by-side, Eden refrained from asking why he had made her wait for him outside a sketchy pub. He came back out hastily, his eyes disinterested and narrowed- the clench of his jaw revealing that whomever he had met with inside the establishment, had also left him with a bitter taste on his tongue.

The passers stole nervous glances at the two soldiers; but neither of them paid any attention as they walked along the paved streets of the busy district.

“I remember this area. I believe this was the place you and I met for the first time,” Eden broke the comfortable silence, extending an arm to indicate the familiar rooftop from which she had sprinted off in order to save her friends from an impending death during the Battle of Trost.

Levi’s eyes flickered towards the highlighted region before letting out an agitated sigh, his eyes shifting away quickly. “Yes. I had only known you for perhaps less than thirty seconds and your temerity managed to piss me off beyond anything.”

Eden huffed under her breath, running a hand through her hair in irritation. She didn’t know what had possessed her to loop an arm around his when he quickened his pace.

But, she couldn’t ignore the way Levi’s body stiffened. His steps grew slower and the way they walked so close to one another caused their capes to mangle and brush with each step.

They strode back towards the lodging; but Levi redirected their strides in a different direction. It was narrow, colder and darker than the sunny, open streets they had previously walked through.

“A shortcut,” was all he had said in response to the quizzical look he felt pierce through the side of his face.

Within the darkened alleyway; Eden’s heart began racing as she imagined an opportunity to feel his lips against hers once more arise. As if he could read every single fleeting thought in her head, Levi grabbed the arm laced through his; pressing her up against the cold wall with a thud.

No time was wasted on words as his mouth found hers urgently, as though her lips were the only source of water in the entire district. His palms lay against either side of her face as he drank her in; his body leaning against hers when Eden’s knees threatened to give out. Her nails dragged against the path of his neck as she called for him softly, her brows laced together revealing just how much pleasure Levi’s touch was bringing her.

Her tongue dragged itself against his bottom lip, tasting the sweetness of the tea he was previously drinking. There was something about the way Levi’s lips tasted that left Eden feeling utterly intoxicated.

The Captain pulled away from her swiftly, his breathing unsteady, his pupils blown out. His lips curled up lightly in a wicked smirk as he watched Eden’s messed-up persona- her mangled locks, parted lips and drunken look on her face.

“Don’t you think your disheveled appearance calls for punishment, brat?” Levi’s dull voice rippled through the silence, causing Eden to straighten up and arch a brow at him.

She glided her palms over her uniform, clearing her throat under his scrutinizing stare. “What happens when my appearance is solely caused by your doings, Captain?”

The smirk deepened, the twitches in his jaw visible in the darkness and he stepped forward, brushing his fingers through her hair.

Shoving the strands behind her ear, he leaned in, the sensation of his iced lips scraping her ear sending chills along the path of her spine. “That means you have no one to go sob to if I ever decide to discipline you for it, Chiasa.”

Riding back to the Headquarters was comforting. They eased into a relaxing conversation and Eden’s cheeks would flush ever so often. Her horse stood galloping within close proximity to the Captain’s and the glacier winds grazed her face, numbing it completely.

“You can be honest and admit to enjoying my company, Captain,” Eden asserted through a large grin, the corners of her amber eyes crinkling when Levi glanced in her direction.

“Tch,” he scoffed, but his somewhat nonchalant mask revealed how unbothered he was by her playful demeanor. “If you’re just trying to rank up by messing around with your Captain, that’s not how it works, brat.”

His snarky response caught the girl off-guard and she let out a high-pitched, sheepish laugh. Levi’s head snapped back towards her; staring at her in wonder. This was perhaps the first time Eden had let out a hearty, full and raw laugh.

She cringed at herself, lowering her head, allowing her hair to curtain her blazing cheeks.

“But, we do make a good team,” Levi spoke once more, easing his horse into a slower gallop as soon as its pants began ringing through the wilderness.

“Oh? I apologize for the confusion, but was that a compliment?” Eden inquired, finally lifting her head after taming the blossoming blush that had engraved itself into her skin.

The Captain hummed flatly over the clattering sound of hooves. After a long pause, his deep voice asserted itself into the space between them. “Take it as you will. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if you stopped doubting everything I say to you.”

Eden chewed on her bottom lip as she listened to his voice. It was like she was in trance, afraid to think about how quickly she’d agree to any sort of order Levi sends her way.

Lost in the vortex of her thoughts, the girl nearly missed the words that slipped through his lips.

Nearly.

“I don’t like seeing you with Kirstein.”

It was so out of the blue, Eden couldn’t respond to him immediately. Silence settled around them as the sun slowly began descending into its usual space for slumber. 

“What do you mean?” Her eyes were trained ahead of her, her knuckles growing white as the palms holding onto her horse’s reins became increasingly dampened with sweat. 

“It’s hard to believe you’re actually this dense, Eden,” Levi countered, his own knuckles growing paler as he finally urged his horse to gallop faster. Eden followed him, trying her best to match his pace. 

“Anyway,” he continued coolly, the shift in his demeanor causing Eden to physically become overwhelmed with dread. “That’s all I wanted to say.”

“Jean is just a friend,” she replied in irritation, very much aware of the way his head craned back towards her, eyes narrowed and filled with displeasure. 

“Didn’t seem like that when I caught you two in the stables. Or when I came to visit you in the infirmary…-”

“I’ll have you know, Captain,” she sliced through his words, lucid rage overwhelming her as each syllable trickled out of his mouth.

“Jean and I are just friends. Yes, we’ve had our moments, but that was it. Just moments. And when you saw him with me in the medical quarters; it’s because he came to tell me he couldn’t do anything with me anymore. He also let me in on the fact that it was not his name I called out when he saved me from the titan…it was yours.” She took a deep breath before her furrowed brows raised. “Still feeling jealous?” 

He didn’t respond. In fact, Levi didn’t even look at her. His gaze was focused straight ahead at the forthcoming sight of the familiar trees surrounding their base. 

After a while, all he did was scoff.

Arriving back at the headquarters was very anticlimactic. 

Levi was back to being cold and butthurt and Eden could only seethe in silence. He strapped his horse away in the stables and stalked off, not even shedding Eden a single flicker of eye contact.

Despite the irritation coiling inside her body, the girl continued on with her day as usual- going to greet her friends and spend some time with Sasha and Connie. 

Sometime later in the afternoon, the sensation of overthinking ebbed at her consciousness way too much for her to handle. So, balling her palms into fists, Eden marched towards the Corporal’s office. 

Just as her knuckles were about to rap against his door for the very first time; it creaked open, and she was met with Levi’s widened eyes. 

“Ah. I was just looking for you, brat.” 

She blushed, lashes flickering downwards as the color painted her cheeks sweetly. Following him back inside the office, her stomach was plagued with butterflies that never stopped fluttering around. Levi abruptly spun back to face her; his eyes glinting with a strange flame that lay unknown in Eden’s book. 

“I wanted to give you something,” he murmured, stepping closer to her. “Close your eyes.” 

Eden watched at him with wide eyes, unsure as to how she had to react. Levi’s head tilted to the side, the longer strands of raven-hair in sync with his movements. “Do you trust me?” 

She swallowed hard and barely managed to utter out a weak- “Sure?” 

His nod was the last thing she saw before slipping her eyes shut; nervousness overwhelming her. She listened to the way his boots echoed around the office; the sound of a door creaking open. Her palms grew sweaty and her heart was racing. 

His footsteps began growing closer, until she felt his presence burst through her personal space. “Give me your hand,” he instructed her in a creamy smooth tone that sent chills through her bloodstream. 

Eden did exactly that, feeling the way his fingers gripped at her wrist, guiding her hand outwards. She stiffened when her own fingers captured something that had the texture of hardened wood. Pulling her hand away, she jumped back, as though she had been burnt with fire. Levi was watching her intently, a broomstick in hand. 

“Go clean the stables.” 

Her dumbfounded expression was the only thing filling the silence for a very long moment. “Are you being serious right now?” 

Levi cocked a brow as he stepped forward, handing her the broomstick once more. “Am I ever ‘not serious’ about cleaning?” 

With a huff and the clench of her teeth, Eden snatched the broom out of his grasp before stalking out of his office- feeling even more outraged.

Cleaning seemed to do justice to her nerves. Being surrounded by nothing but dirt and things that needed to be organized tended to Eden’s thoughts and slowly she began feeling like each time she straightened out one part of the stables; another slice of her anger wore off somewhere into the distance. 

Not long after, gentle footsteps brushed against the stable floor, a sweet voice pulling Eden out of her daydreams. 

“Mikasa,” she greeted her childhood best friend warmly, walking over to rapidly throw her arms around her. 

The girl returned the sudden embrace before grabbing her by the shoulders, onyx eyes taking in her ragged appearance. 

“What happened? How was the mission?” 

Eden’s ears quickly grew red as she stepped back, nervously laughing. “What do you mean? Everything went fine? Why would you ask me that, heh…” 

Her defensive demeanor did not go unnoticed by the 104th Training Corps’ top soldier who in turn narrowed her eyes at the girl. Mikasa quirked a brow and a low sigh escaped through Eden’s lips. 

“The change of setting was pleasant. Everything went well. But, the man we met with was disgusting. He kept sending the most vile remarks my way; I don’t even wanna think about it. He was just gross.” She cringed at the memory as she spoke.

Mikasa glared at her friend, her arms folding across her chest. “And what? Captain Shorty just stood there and said nothing? Unbelievable…-”

“No no no!” Eden quickly interrupted her, rubbing the back of her neck as her cheeks grew pink. “He was the one who stepped in and warned Reeves not to speak to me like that. It was a nice gesture…” 

The girl opposite her stared into amber eyes, her own black ones widening as she extended one hand to point at her. “What’s with that look on your face, Eden?” 

Eden pursed her lips, trying her best to calm any raging blush that tried settling against her skin. “What look, Mikasa? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Blackened jewels for eyes narrowed even more. “You’re an open book to me; don’t forget that.” 

The sound of approaching boots crunched against the pebbles. Eden frowned deeply and Mikasa turned to glance behind her shoulder. Giving Eden’s arm a gentle squeeze, the female Ackerman gave her a faint smile before stepping away. 

“You’ll tell me about him when you’re ready.” 

Both Ackerman soldiers stiffly nodded as they passed each other. Eden stared at the Captain that inched closer; his bored stare bouncing from one surface to another. She waited for him to say something, but the man took his sweet time checking the stables and her work. 

“Did I do something wrong?” She finally couldn’t take it anymore, her frown carefully turning into a scowl as her eyes followed his moves. 

Levi slowly turned back to face her, his eyes finally resting against the frame of her face. “Yeah. Your cleaning is atrocious. Go over everything again.” 

Eden watched him walk away with her mouth wide open. When she was sure he was definitely out of sight, she swore loudly before kicking a bucket of water across the brushed-out ground. 

Whatever. I gotta redo everything, anyway.

An hour later, he was back. His eyes were a softer shade of grey, but he still maintained his distance, much to Eden’s growing displeasure. 

With a tight nod, Levi approved her cleaning before jutting his chin towards the exit. “Let’s go. We’ll debrief with Commander Erwin.” 

She sulkily followed him out of the stables, albeit the way her heart melted when he sent her a sideways glance that disappeared as quickly as it arrived. 

This time, the Corporal led her into an unfamiliar office. The layout was definitely similar to Levi’s office; but the window behind the desk was larger and grander. Deep down, Eden preferred the comforts of Levi’s meticulously sterilized office more than Erwin’s one. 

The Commander stood to his feet when the pair walked in, brushing Eden’s salute away nonchalantly. His full height intimidated Eden and it took all within her not to visibly shrink in her boots.

“Captain Levi…soldier Chiasa…it’s good to see you’re back. I can safely assume everything went according to plan?” 

“Nothing we couldn’t handle,” Levi drawled out, scowling deeply at the way Erwin’s lips curved into a impish smirk. Eden chose to look down at her boots as Levi summarized the gist of their assignment to the attentive Commander who had leaned back down into his chair, his elbows resting against the wood of his desk, fingers linked together. 

His brows raised at the mention of Reeves’ attitude towards Eden. “When I send my Scouts out on a mission; I do not intend for such things to happen. However, sometimes it’s inevitable as there are all sorts of animals- not only beyond the walls; but within them too. And for that, I feel the need to apologize to you, Eden.” 

Her cheeks pinkened and she immediately looked down at the floor once more. “I understand that as soldiers, not all situations are pleasant. Regardless of whether it’s during a fight with a titan or when it’s just having a simple conversation with a merchant. Thank you, Commander, but you don’t need to apologize. Captain Levi stepped in and put him in his place, anyhow.” 

When Eden looked up, she saw the same devious smirk plastered against Erwin’s features. His ocean eyes glinted under the faint light emitted from the several oil lamps situated around the room. She even got the chance to notice Levi’s sharp glower that was directed towards the blond man.

Erwin nodded and muttered something under his breath, his eyes flickering off the Captain and onto the perplexed girl. “Isn’t that wonderful? Well, thank you for the information and your presence. You’re dismissed, soldier. Levi, please stay behind.” 

Clasping her fist over her heart, Eden bid both men a good evening before walking out of the office hastily. 

Walking through the corridors, her mind couldn’t stop rewinding the look that was carved onto Erwin’s face; the twinkle in his eyes, the stretched out smirk against his lips and the way his eyes kept holding the Corporal’s stare before flickering back to her. 

Tags:@idiot-juice-enthusiast   #attack on titan #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman fanfic #levi x oc #levi ackerman x oc #eren yeager #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #jean krischtein #sasha braus #connie springer #hange zoe #erwin smith #fanfiction #fanfic #slow burn #enemies to lovers #ao3 fanfic #ao3 fanfiction #manga edit #levi ackerman imagine #levi imagine #levi ackerman smut #levi smut #shingeki no kyojin 

Chapter Nineteen

He didn’t visit her again.

A constant vortex of hurt spiraled within Eden. Her mind never left her at peace. Nausea became such a great part of her; the poor girl had forgotten what it felt like to be healthy.

She constantly stayed up, wondering where she had gone wrong; what she had done to offend him and whether their shared, heated moment was just a miscalculation caused by the depths of trauma inflicted upon them during the hours beyond the walls.

Her thoughts would pierce her brain with such intense magnitude; she would often fall asleep with tears still streaking down her face.

Eating was another burden. Mikasa, or Sasha, or even Jean would come to her and force her to eat. She just didn’t have it in her to continue pretending Levi didn’t excessively impact her.

That was one of the only things she’d look forward to in her life; getting back on her feet and her friends’ constant visits. Sasha and Connie would always try and make her laugh with their foolish bickering and mindless ideas. Historia would sit with her quietly; pulling her hair into small braids or just combing the tousles out. Mikasa would come and read to her, attentively ensuring her plate was licked clean. Eren and Armin would pop by as well and try to ease her mind from her injuries by reminiscing about their childhood. Armin would remain quiet most of the times, leaving the talking to the other boy.

And then there was Jean.

Sometimes, he would visit her very early in the morning; before training. He would talk to her about the upcoming missions and then bicker with her about their equivalently effective combat skills, always smirking when Eden would say she could still kick his ass, albeit all the fractures she’d grown accustomed to.

He would also come and visit her late at night when she yet again couldn’t close her eyes in peace and beckon sleep. They would talk about life beyond the walls, wondering just how different people would be…if there even were any people left.

But, Eden never uttered out a single word regarding her and the Captain to anyone. Her friends could see the dimness in her eyes- the fiery flame long extinguished by a reason unbeknownst to them. The charcoal-haired girl physically wouldn’t bring herself to let the words roll off the tip of her tongue; afraid it would bring a wave of emotions that would subsequently make her crumble.

Yet, her eyes would always flicker towards the door; hoping she’d see the man her heart yearned for walk in.

After nearly two weeks, she could finally start going on walks around the HQ. She’d stroll around before the brink of dawn or at some ungodly hour during the night; afraid she’d accidentally fall captive to a pair of soft, steel eyes.

Her ribs and head trauma had slowly healed and Eden began craving the taste of being out sparring with her friends again.

Then one day, she was laying in bed, reading one of Mikasa’s book when a timid knock sounded from the other side. She perked up quickly, snapping the book shut whilst meekly affirming to the other individual that it was okay for them to enter.

Her heart faltered in disappointment; eyes threatening to well up with tears yet again as Armin walked in shyly.

Eden sent him a sweet smile, thanking the fact that he was still not close enough to see how her bottom lip wobbled. He returned the grin as he walked towards her hastily.

“Eden,” her childhood best friend greeted, sitting beside her on the bed, handing her a blossoming chamomile flower.

Eden’s heart clenched at the flower.

“How are your ribs?” Armin inquired whilst placing his hands on his lap, fingers twitching as he pulled at his sleeves.

“I’m as healthy as a horse,” Eden replied cynically, running a hand over her face as she blinked back at him. She could tell there were something specific on his mind by the way his brows furrowed. His physiognomy was no secret to her; she could read him like an open book- just like she could read both Mikasa and Eren.

“I’m sorry about that day,” he suddenly blurts out; startling the girl.

There it was.

“What are you talking about?” She asked him softly, pulling her knees to her chest, listening to him snivel. He shook his head, lowering it as he spoke.

“I lost control of my emotions. Instead of jumping into action as soon as that titan grabbed you; my feet felt cemented to the ground. If Jean wasn’t there…-” Armin snapped his head away from the girl, tears swimming in his eyes, grazing down his cheeks rapidly.

“Armin,” she called out for him, her voice sickly sweet as her heart cracked at the sight of the boy crying. She took his hand in hers, gently urging him to look at her.

The rigidness in her eyes dissolved as she helped him calm down, the smile on her lips reassuring and warm. “Don’t ever blame yourself for what happened. Truth be told, I probably would have reacted the same way. Seeing you get picked up by a titan…or Eren…or Mikasa…I’d just be petrified. There’s absolutely no way for me to recover if I ever lost you,” Eden whispered to him, pulling him into a gentle embrace.

His arms wrapped around her tightly, body shaking with the tremors of the quiet sobs that spilt against Eden’s shirt. She held him there; her mind recollecting the way she’d hold Armin every time they’d catch him beaten under his bullies’ boots. Their other two friends would chase them away, but Eden would stay behind and calm Armin down. He was like her baby brother, and watching him feel guilty for freezing utterly broke her.

“Armin you’re so bright and such a genius. You can’t deny that fact when Commander Erwin bestowed the previous expedition’s strategic plans to not only Hange, but to you too. Shit happens, we’re at war. You froze, but you had a comrade that was there to help out. Don’t blame yourself for ‘what if’ situations,” she continued, pushing the sun ray strands of hair out of his eyes.

Nodding tightly, Armin wiped the tears away, clearing his throat awkwardly. “I suppose you’re right. It’s just, the thought makes me sick to my stomach, Eden.”

In turn, the girl hummed in agreement; handing him her untouched glass of water that sat upright on her nightstand.

After about an hour, Eden finally managed to steal Armin’s memories of that dreadful day away, even if it were just for a short period of time. She spoke to him about training and Eren and the horses in the stable- pretty much anything to keep his wrestling thoughts at bay.

That was until, Armin gazed at her through curious, sea-blue eyes, his words making her heart feel like it was squeezing her throat shut.

“So are you and Jean…like a thing now?”

She sat there blinking at him for a long moment; trying her best to keep the thick layer of emotions off his radar.

“We were…something,” she began, and for some reason, the glint in Armin’s eyes made her feel reassured. Like it was okay for her to finally reveal her inner thoughts. He always had a way of assuring the girl that she could share anything with him. It was just the kind of person he was.

“It was nothing official; but it was there. But, Jean decided it was best to end it. I guess I have no one else but myself to blame for that,” Eden sighed, her chest shaking as she closed her eyes- begging for the tears to not glisten across her pupils. But, it was too late.

“Why would it be your fault?” Armin urged her. He knew what type of person Eden was, too.

She was a sensitive girl that had troubles expressing her feelings. When they were growing up together, he would always be the one holding the paintbrush, urging her to paint out her feelings- convincing her that nothing harmful would come her way if she opened up about all that bubbled up within her soul; weighing her down.

Dropping her head, she let out a loud sob. It was now her turn to break down. Thinking back to Jean; guilt ebbed away at her conscience. “It just is. He’s such a sweetheart and being with him felt comfortable. He was someone I can wholeheartedly trust and rely on to stick by me through thick and thin. A-and I feel so lost, it’s like I’m drowning in my own thoughts,” she continued, her voice cracking, filling up with immense pain to the brim.

“Perhaps something happened that led him to reaching his ultimate decision?” Armin inquired, shifting closer to Eden as he rubbed a soothing hand over her back.

The broken girl cradled her head with her palms, shaking from side to side at the flickering images of Captain Levi washing through her mind. It was like torture, watching something that brought up so many sickly emotions within her over and over again.

Speaking about it was even worse.

“Everything is so unclear to me, Armin,” she cried, the feelings seeping out of her unstoppably, “He came here and told me he couldn’t be with me anymore because he didn’t want to feel like he was sharing me with someone. He wouldn’t dwell on it; but he reassured me that whatever happened, he’d be by my side. He also told me that when he pulled me out of the titan’s grasp, I had called for the Captain instead of him before passing out.” Eden ducked her head, wanting the blankets to swallow her whole.

She had never admitted anything regarding her and Captain to a single soul; afraid that she spoke it out into the world, it would solidify whatever emotions scorched her body to a different extent.

Armin patiently waited for Eden to recollect her messed up thoughts, her sobs low and heart wrenching- sending around the type of pain that makes ones organs shrivel up inside their body.

“I’ve always had such a hot and cold relationship with the Captain. Sometimes, he’s so good to me; and he looks at me as though I am an equal instead of a freshly-recruited Scout. Then, other times I feel like he’s the cruelest person in the world. He kissed me, you know?” Eden began rambling; finally ready to rid herself of all the baggage holding her heart. “He came in after Jean had left and we spoke. Then, he kissed me…”

There was a long pause as Armin processed her words carefully, trying his best to conceal the fact that his friend had just confessed to kissing the most intimidating man on base.

“I think it’s perfectly understandable for you to feel confused,” Armin began, his soft, comforting voice sounding like a beautiful melody to the heartbroken girl.

She stared at him through thick tears; speckles of green and brown swirling around her pupils when she blinked.

“I’ve noticed the way he looks at you during training, but naturally, I disregarded any additional thoughts just because I always assumed he was just highly impressed by your skills. But, now that you’re saying all this, it makes sense,” Armin mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as he smiled back at her.

“Nothing makes sense,” Eden spat the words out as though they were laced with poison, wrapping her arms around her knees tightly. “He kissed me and he’s not spoken to me in nearly two weeks. I feel like I can’t keep up with this game.”

“Eden, you’re one of the strongest people I know. I’m sure you’ll get through this without my opinions clouding over you. But, you should just listen to your heart. Your heart is the one thing that can dictate your feelings and truly make you realize what it is you want exactly. Open your eyes and look for the thing yearned by your heart.”

His words had struck a cord in her. Long after he had left, Eden thrashed in bed, thinking hard about what Armin had neatly laid before her.

She sighed to herself, pressing her palm against her chest, feeling the way her heart beat behind her ribcage.

“What the fuck do you want?” She muttered before concealing her body under the thick duvet and falling into the grips of a deep slumber; for the first time in a very long time; feeling somewhat at peace.

-

The following few days, Eden caught glimpses of the Captain here and there. But, he never advanced towards her; therefore she never approached him. Often, he’d catch her stare from afar and his eyes would shift away almost immediately. It made Eden’s chest burn with displeasure as she’d huff irritably and stalk off the other way.

But, what she’d never know was how Levi’s stormy grey eyes would always fixate on her retreating figure; drinking every single detail about her in before she’d disappear back into the castle

Spending the days watching her comrades train from afar; she felt too afraid to actually move closer to them. She’d watch the way Levi’s hair would be ruffled by the wind’s slender fingers. The way his features would contort into an irritated sneer if someone messed up during any part of the training sessions.

Then one day, she waited by the stone walls of the HQ, arms wrapped around herself; watching her friends gasp for air after finally finishing their seeming endless amount of laps. The sun was setting, a warm orange blanket tainting the earth.

Jean stalked towards her, chest heaving as his cheeks were painted a pretty soft shade of pink. Eden raised a brow at him, pushing herself off the wall as she met him halfway.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to pass out because he made you run a few laps…-”

He glared at her menacingly before letting out a snort. “Are you kidding me? We’ve been running for the past hour and a half, nonstop. Did you not see what he did to Connie when he bent over to ‘tie his shoelaces’?”

Eden laughed as the memory of Levi pulling Connie up by the ear flickered through her mind. “Poor boy. And to think he thought that he had come up with a sly excuse to rest.”

Jean offered to accompany her on her walk and they fell into a whirlwind of conversations about everything. She’d tease him about his stance and he’d bully her about her tousled her; immediately apologizing when she feigned offence.

“I thought you knew how to take a joke, Jeanie-boy,” she snickered at him, gently elbowing him when he glowered at her.

“I can take a joke darling. I just don’t know how far I can push it,” he muttered under his breath, draping his heavy jacket over her shoulders when a cool breeze settled around them.

“Oh you! Although always making fun of your fighting skills; you know that deep down, I sincerely admire your upper cut punches,” she retorted, eyes glinting up at him when his lips curled into a smirk.

“Now, that’s what I’m talking about. Do keep going…-”

The sun was a long forgotten memory for the day as grasshoppers chirped into the darkness; the two soldiers’ boots grinding against the pebbles as they made their way around the front area of the headquarters. Eden swore that she’d seen someone walk into the stables with her peripheral vision before brushing it off solemnly; knowing for a fact that if someone did go to tend to the horses; it most probably wouldn’t be the person she was craving to see.

Taking his jacket out of her extended grasp, Jean began making his way up the steps towards the grand entrance of the base when Eden spoke up softly.

“I want to stay out a little longer. I’m so sick of laying in bed all day. This is the only form of exercise I can add to my new routine. And as much as I’d love to take up your offer to spar in secret; my nurse would beat me back into bed if she did find out. Trust me when I tell you, she wasn’t exactly nice when she caught me doing sit ups in my room one morning,” she sighed tiredly, rubbing her eyes until stars peppered her vision.

“Oh right, no problem, I’ll leave you to it and pass by to hang out later on tonight. I need to eat now,” he rambled, stepping back down towards Eden, causing her to stiffen ever so slightly at the gentle touch of his fingertips brushing her hair behind her ear.

She looked up at him with widened eyes as he craned his neck, planting a faint kiss at the corner of her mouth.

“I miss you,” Jean muttered out grimly as he ran his fingers through her wavy hair. Her heart began galloping in her chest as Armin’s soft voice gently beckoned her to recall his words.

What does your heart want?

Eden reluctantly took a step back, tenderly catching his wrist with her fingers. “Jean, I…-”

“I know, I know. See you later, darling,” he replied quickly, kissing her knuckles before walking away; leaving Eden alone with her overwhelming thoughts.

She walked for a long time, kicking the rocks from under her boots; tucking at her hair as she thought deeply about her life.

It was strange to think about the little, frail girl she once was- constantly disregarded as a human being by her ignorant parents. She’d always seek comfort in her friends, until one day, she decided it would be best to bottle up her emotions and tuck them far away from everything in the universe.

Eden was so deep in thought as she glared down at the ground; she didn’t pick up on the heavy, impending footsteps stalking towards her from behind.

She yelped as someone caught her by the wrist; twisting her around, slamming her body against the wall. Dropping her head, Eden let out a cough as the heavy air collided with her lungs.

Her heart skipped a beat; butterflies rousing in her stomach once she looked up to see her Captain pressed against her firmly; his eyes holding traces of seething somberness. She felt like she could cry out of happiness; but that ecstasy blended with the pain and anger she grew to feel for him after falling asleep every day, cradling her fractured heart.

“Captain,” she sighed out, inclining her head to face his ever so slightly as she felt his hips pressed against her in place. It took all within her not to bite her bottom lip as heat spread through her body like an unrestrainable wildfire.

Levi’s pupils grew darker as he listened to her soft, pleading voice. He held her wrist beside her head; using the weight of his body to keep her unmoving. It seemed like his plan ricocheted back towards him when she began writhing against him, a slice of his stoic façade ebbing away

His iron grip grew stronger as he leaned in towards her, tilting his head to the side as he watched her wide, amber eyes gaze at him.

“You guys didn’t seem very much ‘broken up’ to me,” Levi snapped at her, noting the way her eyes flickered to every single inch of his face.

Eden wanted to free herself from him; but the more she squirmed; the harder it was for her to focus on his words. Albeit the anger that ran its course through her body; the ultimate amount of proximity between them made her heart beat so fervently. She barely heard his words over the sound of her blood rushing to her ears.

She looked at him through hardened features and Levi’s eyes widened at the flicker of her lashes and the bittersweet blush that freckled her cheeks.

Parting her lips as she held his heated stare, Eden slowly retaliated, “We are broken up, sir.” Her words flowed through her lips as though she had just uttered out a sinful confession.

Levi’s eyes flashed with what seemed like contemplation; as if he was thoroughly processing each word in his head. Their eye contact didn’t waver as Eden grew to completely forget about the coldness of the nighttime wind. She stood pinned against the wall by Levi in the most staggering of ways. Every little twitch her body couldn’t hold in; she’d feel his body against hers and it drove her insane.

Levi huffed under his breath, the forearm pressed against her throat gently moving away so he could grip her hair with his fist.

He tilted her head to the side. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Eden watched his eyes flicker to her lips and she curled them slyly. Capturing his stare once more, she raised a brow.

“Is that a challenge?”

A dark glint blazed in his eyes as silky strands of hair fell over them. He leaned his head towards hers slowly, halting in the last moment when their noses brushed; lips a breath away from touching.

Eden’s chest moved rapidly as she tipped her chin up to meet him halfway; but a cruel smirk ghosted over his lips.

“I guess it is, brat,” he retaliated after a long pause before pulling away altogether. He stalked off authoritatively, leaving Eden burning up against the coldness of the stone wall.

Tags:@idiot-juice-enthusiast   ,   @hadassackerman   

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE FOLLOWS, COMMENTS, REBLOGS, LIKES AND TO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LEFT ME ANONYMOUS MESSAGES. You literally make my heart smile. 

As always, link to the story in AO3 can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919136/chapters/70952145

Chapter Eighteen

And with another groan, Eden slowly awakened from her short nap. Her head was spinning and the room was dimmer- the only source of light being the oil lamp on her bedside table. 

She felt extremely nauseous as she came back to her senses; colors flickering before her amber eyes in a fleeting way. Then, she stiffened. 

At the foot of her bed, she saw Captain Levi sitting wordlessly; with his head lowered; one hand on the duvet and another resting on his knee. At the sudden stirring movements, his head snapped to the side, grey eyes meeting hazel ones. 

Eden held her breath; blinking a few times slowly. She couldn’t tell whether her mind was playing twisted games from the effects of the drug or if Levi was actually calmly sitting on her bed, watching her curiously. Her hand reached for his and she immediately came to realization when her fingertips made contact with his cold skin. 

He really was there. 

Levi, in turn, flickered his stare to the resting palm atop of his before pulling his hand away. He then gently rested it over hers, fingertips brushing over her knuckles. Eden’s heart squeezed warmly at the closeness- dozens of butterflies gathering in her stomach as she rested her head back against the pillow with a sigh; trying her best to ignore how dazed the aftereffects of the medication inflicted upon her. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked in a cool, restrained voice as he eyed her down, taking a note of her awfully pale face and colorless lips. 

“Not gonna lie, this medication is making me loopy, but other than that, I can’t help but feel absolutely useless,” Eden replied in an even tone, shifting her heated stare away from his face and onto the ceiling. 

She heart Levi hum in agreement under his breath. “You’ll manage. You would’ve felt even shittier if you broke a bone or lost a limb.”

The girl let go of a breathy laugh, a peachy blush creeping against her pallid cheeks. “Always a positive one, aren’t you, Captain?” 

He huffed softly, his searching gaze exploring every single inch of her face. “Something like that.” 

Perhaps it was the treatment oozing through her veins or it was the comfortable atmosphere lingering around them that made Eden’s dainty fingers curl around his hand with slight pressure. He returned the gesture timidly; lips pursing together as his brows bunched up against his usually strained face. He watched her through jeweled-grey eyes as her face relaxed; hazel eyes fluttering shut. 

“I’ll leave you to healing in peace,” Levi muttered softly, gently pulling his hand out of her feeble grasp. He shifted off her bed, freezing when he felt her grip the cuff of his shirt.

“No no, you don’t have to go…you can stay,” Eden mumbled out delicately; but by the time she could process his responsive actions; her world had darkened once more. 

The sound of turning pages washed through her the next time she woke up. Albeit feeling much better, Eden could still feel remnants of the sedative rushing through her blood. She swallowed thickly and opened her eyes. 

To her extreme surprise, Levi was casually sitting in the same spot as he was before; but this time, he had a book in his hands. He looked so peaceful, until he felt Eden’s hooded eyes glued to his frame. Snapping the book shut sharply, he placed it on the duvet before settling his narrowed eyes on her perplexed expression; the muscles in his jaw visibly rigid. 

“Hi,” she spoke up meekly, trying her best to sit up, but failing miserably. She mentally kicked herself and settled into the pillow. Her lungs burned in discomfort and her muscles ached. It was like all the pain was slowly ebbing away at her sanity; leaving her drowning in a vortex of self-hatred and hopelessness. 

Levi didn’t respond to her at first. She watched as his contorted mask cracked for a split millisecond; agitation imprinting itself on his incredibly pretty features. 

“You missed your boyfriend’s visit by ten minutes.” 

Her eyes grew wide; breath cementing itself in her throat. She blinked at him hastily. 

“We broke up.” 

The three words hung in the air as the aura tensed. The flame in the oil lamp flickered, visibly disturbed as Levi’s brows raised ever so slightly.

“I see.” 

Eden’s lips laced into a thin line as she grazed her fingertips against the duvet. A sharp jolt of pain collided with her ribcage and she winced, dropping her head, tousled waves of charcoal hair veiling over her face. 

“I’m afraid, Captain. I’ve never felt such pain in my whole life. It really made me realize how frail our lives are. How everything can go to hell in the blink of an eye. I guess I had to go through this to really comprehend the magnitude of what it is we’re actually doing.” 

Levi let out an irked “tch” as he ran a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn’t look at her when the weight of his words slapped her hard across the face. 

“Maybe if you stopped being so reckless; you wouldn’t feel like your life is so fragile.”

Eden glared at him, teeth grinding together behind closed lips. His hardened exterior grew present once more. It completely flustered her how she felt like she had spoken to two completely different individuals when comparing her current conversation with the one they had prior to her passing out. Her knuckles grew white as she gripped the covers. 

“How am I being reckless? It’s my duty to give my all when we’re out there. This is what I consciously signed up for when I joined the military. But now, when I’ve actually felt what it feels like to nearly lose my life; it just really puts things into perspective. I thought you’d be the one who’d understand where I’m coming from.” 

“But there’s a difference between fighting for humanity’s greater good with some common sense in your head and just recklessly throwing yourself in dangerous situations,” Levi retaliated coldly, his eyes deteriorating the barrier Eden attempted to build in order to conceal her pained expression.

He hastily turned away from her, knitting his fingers together as he rested his forearms against his thighs. “If you continue being so careless, we will lose you…” 

A heavy silence drowned them both as Eden processed his words carefully, her palms sweating; heart galloping in her chest. Levi craned his head back to meet her eyes, and Eden finally saw a gleam in his eyes that she had never known of. It made her feel faint, her body reacting to that scorched stare in ways she could have never even imagined. 

Her lips curled upwards- a sly, cat-like smirk painting over her features. Levi watched her in such a meticulous manner; it made her feel like he could see right through her. 

Suddenly, Eden tried rising up- the words gliding off her tongue in a slow, lazy manner. “You’re gonna miss me if I die, aren’t you?” 

Levi shot up towards Eden, hands gently pressing against her shoulder blades as he urged her not to sit up. He huffed under his breath in annoyance; smoothly lowering her back onto the pillow as he spoke. “What kind of question is that, brat?” 

He was so close, Eden could practically taste his faint cologne.

 Levi’s eyes grew hooded as he watched her closely, the density in the air practically cutting off Eden’s ability to breathe. His cold fingertips were still pressed against the skin above the pajama fabric of her shirt. She swallowed thickly, velour lashes lowering at the sight of how close his face was to hers. The silence was deafening as neither of them had anything to physically say to each other at that point.

The Captain’s own face visibly relaxed, metal eyes growing softer as his fingers brushed against the curve of her jaw; coiling around the back of her neck. A shiver ran its coarse along the line of her spine at the sensation of her hair between his fingers. 

Inclining his head ever so slightly, his chilled lips pressed against hers. 

At first, it was gentle and timid. But then, he applied force against her neck; pressing her full lips harder against his. Eden felt frozen, her heart threatening to explode and break all her ribs. Her fingertips reached to touch his and he immediately grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers. 

If Eden could freeze time and live in one single moment for the rest of eternity; it would always be this one. 

Levi was the one who pulled away first; his breathing ragged and short. Eden felt like she had no air to take in anymore. The exhilarating feeling of Levi’s lips against hers had solidified every question, every fleeting thought she had experienced up to that moment. She craved more. 

He brushed his nose against hers before leaning backwards slightly; his fingers still entangled with hers. Eden tried her best to calm her intoxicated heart; but to no avail. 

Gentle circles were rubbed into the back of her hand with his thumb, but Eden’s dilated stare could merely focus on Levi’s growingly tense expression. He released her trembling hand, his heart clenching uncomfortably at the saddened expression that flashed across her features. He reached out to push a strand of her hair behind her ear, his retracting fingertips grazing along the curve of her jaw once more.

“You should rest, Eden. I mustn’t keep you up all night,” Levi said to her under his breath, the flame in his eyes vibrant and alive as he explored her face. With knitted brows, he abruptly rose from the bed; craning his neck to look at her over his shoulder when Eden managed to call him by his given title in a voice filled with all kinds of emotions. 

“Will you come visit me again tomorrow?” Eden inquired, chewing on her bottom lip anxiously as she waited for his answer through the long, quiet pause. 

“Not if I can help myself,” Levi replied glumly, holding her gaze for a moment longer before walking out of the medical quarters; leaving a dazed Eden with heated cheeks fervently gaze at his retreating figure. 

Happy Valentine’s Day! Hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much as I did writing it! 

Tags:@idiot-juice-enthusiast   @hadassackerman

The link to the story in AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919136/chapters/70952145

The Wrath of War

Chapter Seventeen

“We’ll get through this,” Eren had said, pulling his friends into a tight, group hug. Eden nodded, the muffled voices around her slowly slowly becoming sharper and clearer. 

Where was she?

“You, Mikasa, Eden and I. We’ll join the Scout Regiment and fight for the sea. We’ll fight for the taste of freedom. And then when that day comes, we’ll sit together and reminisce about all the tough times we’ve gone through just to get to that moment,” Armin replied softly as they pulled away. 

Each child had a flame in their eyes. Two pairs of crystal blue eyes, a duo of onyx jewels as well as another pair of honey-colored eyes that glinted with a shade of emerald. After the horrors they had witnessed that day in Shiganshina; the deaths that had cracked through each crevice of their bones; they had vowed to fight until death grabbed their hand. 

Eden felt drowsy as the world around her slowed down and the faces of her friends grew blurry. She looked around to see the atmosphere change, those distant voices that rang at the back of her mind growing more realistic. 

“Hey, Eden, I brought you an apple. Well, honestly, Connie made me give it up. I actually really wanted to eat that apple…-” 

Slap

“Ouch, sorry. Scratch that, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just joking, hehe,” Sasha rambled on, rubbing her arm as she rolled her eyes at Connie’s irked stare. 

Velveteen lashes fluttered opened gradually; the immediate light burning her pupils. Eden hissed, shutting her eyes once more as she came to her senses at a dreadfully slow pace. She caught sight of the familiar layout vividly resembling the medical quarters situated at their base. 

Two light gasps bounced through the air. Her bed shifted under moving weight and once she took a deep breath; Eden managed to open one eye. 

Sasha and Connie stared at her through comically wide eyes. The girl blinked slowly at them, raising a weak hand to touch her pounding temple. 

“What…happened?” 

The duo exchanged glances and Sasha swallowed thickly. Connie bounced on his heels before clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck.

“You got severely injured on the battlefield. Safe to say, you were this close to being squeezed to death,” Connie pinched his fingers together, indicating the lack of space between his index and his thumb finger. “You’ve been out cold for the past couple of days, on IV’s and stuff, I don’t know.” 

Eden tried sitting up, but the weight of her tattered body pleaded her to remain still. “What do you mean I’ve been ‘out cold for the past couple of days’? What about Armin? He was with me, is he okay? And the rest, where are they?” The words trickled out through her lips like a mellow waterfall. 

Sasha sent her a wary smile, placing her hand over hers against the warm blanket. “Everyone from our team is healthy and safe. Unfortunately, we can’t say the same about Hange’s squad. She lost a couple of her comrades during the battle.” She lowered her eyes as she spoke, bottom lip quivering. 

Eden let go of a slow sigh, the movement causing her lungs to burn up and swell against her heart. She palmed the fabric of her blanket in between her fingers. “Shit. Was the mission a failure then? Did we manage to secure the sighting hotspot?” 

Both of her comrade-friends shook their heads glumly. Connie spoke up.

“We came back to help Hange’s team after seeing that separation would only make things worse. Captain Levi shot the final flare at the sight of literally a dozen titans heading our way. We just didn’t have enough manpower to push through all of them; especially since your team was already completely ambushed. No one expected it to be that bad…” 

Eden stayed silent as she tried to process his words. Her brain racked against her skull as she thought about all the pain and suffering her fallen comrades had experienced right before their lives were ripped out of their bodies by the vile, humanoid creatures. It made her blood boil and her lip quiver. 

“How did you manage to pull me out of the titan’s grasp? I can’t remember much except how peaceful I began feeling when I finally closed my eyes…I thought I was dead…”

“We’re so happy you’re not, Eden. What happened was…-”

“Excuse me, leave the poor girl to rest,” the familiar voice of the assigned nurse made her two friends jump out of their skin. She ushered them both out in an irritated voice before walking back to Eden. 

“Can you please tell me what’s wrong with me? When can I join my team back on the field…-”

“Not anytime soon, dear. You should be grateful you’re not currently six-feet under. Your lungs collapsed due to the pressure, so you’ll be sticking to bedrest for the time being until it gets better. Don’t look at me like that, I told you, it could’ve been worse. There was some internal bleeding that we stopped once you arrived, what else…ah yes, you’re lucky…this time, you managed to fracture just two ribs!” The nurse told her, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she spoke. 

Eden refrained from the need to roll her eyes at her and involuntarily winced instead at the sudden pains in her chest. The medic assured her that this would happen often until her internal organs heal with the help of medication, rest and the will to live. 

 Deep down, through all the trauma her body underwent that day; Eden’s mind was fixed on one tiny thought that seemed to devour her entire soul; would Captain Levi come and visit her? 

The day’s hours quickly trickled by as Eden spent it dealing with constant visits, naps and by sulking and glaring at the ceiling. She begged the nurse to give her something to numb the pain; but the older woman had assured her that she will do so after dinner.

Eden didn’t even have enough energy to snap back at her. 

The sun began settling, bringing in a warm, orange shade into the infirmary. The rays grazed against Eden’s blanket, caressing her skin softly as her body began to ache. Mikasa had just left, bidding her a good night after helping Eden bathe.

The injured girl felt like such a nuisance and begged her friend multiple times to leave, stating she could manage on her own. But Mikasa being Mikasa; never left her side. Her nurse finally injected her with a large dose of painkillers, assuring her that they would stop the pain for at least a couple of long hours. She had also told her that they would make her feel sleepy and droopy. Eden merely nodded and thanked her for the medication.

Now, tightly wrapped up in her warm duvet, the charcoal-haired girl counted the each clock tick; completely bored out of her mind. She didn’t feel like the medicine had kicked in yet; but the nurse had reassured her that it could take some time for them to kick in and knock her out. Her eye twitched at the sound of the door gently opening. 

A tender smile crept up on her face as he made his way towards her bed. 

“Hi, Jeanie-boy,” she greeted him softly, tilting her head towards him against the pillow. 

His expression was strained and that remained intact when he sent her a smile, pulling her hand into his. “Hi, darling. How are you feeling?” 

“I’ve been better, but I’ll manage. Can’t get rid of me that quickly now, can you?” 

He let go of a gentle huff, his thumb rubbing circles against her soft skin. Eden bit her lip, brows lacing together slightly. He remained silent, staring down at their interlinked fingers.

“Something is wrong. Talk to me,” she urged him gently, squeezing his hand with her palm. 

Jean pursed his lips tightly; clenching his jaw tightly as contemplation painted against his tense face. “Do you remember what happened…that day?” 

Eden’s own expression grew more rigid as she tried her best to call back any memories she had. She released an exasperated sigh, sinking deeper into the pillow. 

“I’m sorry Jean. I really can’t remember much. My horse threw me off the saddle; Armin came back for me…we ran towards the horses and then a titan just grabbed me. That’s all I recall.”

Jean bit his lip before running a hand across his face; shifting against her mattress. She watched him silently, afraid that if she pushed him; he’d snap at her. And she wanted Jean to open up on his own terms. 

“I feel like I can’t really do this anymore, Eden.” 

Her almond eyes grew larger, lips parting in wonder. “Can’t do what, Jean? What’s going on?” 

The boy only shook his head in response, eyes betraying how deep in thought he was. Eden’s heart clenched uneasily. 

“I can’t just share you. It’s not right and I don’t feel good knowing I can’t have you all to myself.” 

His confession hung in the air heavily. Jean watched her carefully as she tried understanding his words. But, to no avail. 

“I-I don’t understand. What are you talking about?” 

Jean pinched the bridge of his nose before saying, “You’ll understand what I’m telling you on your own terms. I’m sorry it has to go down this way. You mean so much to me, Chiasa. And I can fully understand the situation you’re in right now. The confusion and all. I’ve been in that position. Which is why I’m trying to help you make things easier- even if nothing makes sense to you right now.”

Eden placed her other hand over his, grazing the skin on the back of his palm reassuringly. She listened intently to each word; feeling her heart crack just a little bit.

“I don’t want to lose you, Jean.”

The boy made a face, leaning in closer towards the resting girl. “Psh, who said anything about losing anyone? There’s no way in hell you’ll lose me, Eden; you can trust me on that. Otherwise, you can write a letter to my mother and tell her how embarrassed I was when she sent me that stuffed plush bear and you were the one who caught me with it.” 

The memory made Eden laugh, her eyes crinkling at the edges as Jean’s own brown eyes twinkled down at her. 

“That’s a deal.” 

Jean leaned in closer, pressing his warm, plush lips against Eden’s forehead. She closed her eyes, taking in his scent that seemingly overwhelmed her entirely. Everything with him was so cozy, definite and practically perfect. It was such a stark juxtaposition to the feelings the man with steely, blank eyes sparked within her. 

“But, just because I’ve decided to let you go now, does not mean I will not keep trying,” he muttered when pulling away. Eden sent him a toothy grin that was masked with a layer of grimness once her question slammed against her brain.

“Can you tell me what happened after I blacked out?” 

Jean’s eyes darkened as he looked down at their hands. He gritted his teeth, craning his neck to the side before meeting her curious gaze. 

“I…I was the one who saved you.” He hesitated for a moment, but continued nevertheless. “When all went to shit and the Captain shot the terminated mission flare; I made my way back to you. I don’t know what it was, but I just knew that something was wrong. I found Armin charging at the bastard that had grabbed you, aiming for its wrist tendon but…I managed to slice its nape seconds before you were going to land in its mouth. It was a miracle, really. If I was even a millisecond late; you would have…died.” 

Eden felt like the air was knocked out of her bruised lungs. She looked away, realization creeping down her spine as she thought back to how close she was to death. Only to be saved and gifted with another chance at life. She suppressed a yawn, her lids growing heavier.

Jean released an empty, humorless laugh; shaking his head at the memories that flashed before his eyes. “And then, when I got to you…you said his name.” He stood abruptly, gently laying Eden’s hand back against the softness of the duvet as she watched him sleepily; her mind overpowered by the drug previously injected into her bloodstream to tend to the pains. 

She was drowning in so many questions, but felt like she didn’t have enough time to answer them for herself. She called for Jean gently; earning a sweet, supple smile from the boy as he gazed down at her. His head snapped towards the entrance and immediately, his expression contorted into one filled with deep-rooted vexation. 

“Out of everyone within the walls; why him?” Jean muttered under his breath- a question devoted more to himself rather than the dazed girl on the brink of slumber. He bid her a good night and went his separate way.

Eden groaned in response, her lids completely slipping shut by the time the sound of approaching boots had reached her ears. 

Tags:@idiot-juice-enthusiast   @hadassackerman

Thank you for all the support!! xx

Link to the story in AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919136/chapters/70952145

Chapter Thirteen

Eden felt it deep in her bones that an expedition would be thrown at them soon. It kept her up at night, tossing and turning as she wondered how many lives would it cost for them to trudge beyond the walls once more.

She decided pushing herself during training would have been the best way to exhaust her thoughts. She sparred with every single squad member for hours on end. Then, she’d run laps until her muscles would give out and she no longer had any physical power to contemplate anything. 

“Get into pairs,” Levi had snapped one of those days, flexing his arms against his chest as he impatiently waited for his subordinates to match up. Jean raised an eyebrow as Eden shuffled towards him, smoothening her hair down as she cocked her own brow. 

“I’ve decided I want to keep today’s sparring session relaxing. I can’t be bothered to put in much effort, no offence.” 

Jean snorted in response; whacking Eden on her arm. “None taken. I can’t exactly be afraid of a toddler dressed up in soldier attire.” 

Eden tried her best to feign offence, but his comment made her burst out laughing. She kicked him in the shin when she finally calmed down and caught Levi’s glare with her peripheral vision. 

The girl took a deep breath, clenching her fists as she viciously began the sparring session with Jean. He was quick to move out of the way and she was faster at calculating her next move. It pleased her immensely when she managed to topple him to the floor, albeit their difference in body mass and size. 

“You’re lucky you’re just cute and I feel bad I might hurt you too badly,” Jean coughs as he grabbed Eden by the hand, using her as an anchor to pull himself up. She grinned widely at him, shaking her head as she stretched lazily. 

Connie and Sasha were messing about, Mikasa was with Eren, Krista and Armin were together whilst Levi watched over the pairs with extreme distaste. 

Or perhaps it was just boredom.

She listened to Levi correcting Connie’s stance and scolding Sasha for fooling around. Her amber eyes flickered away awkwardly back to Jean when the Captain’s own hard glare shifted towards her. Eden’s guts twisted uncomfortably and she wanted to heave. 

The vivid dream from a few days ago had also plagued her mind. It felt incredibly real, as though it was Levi’s real fingers dragging against her flesh as she had panted under him. The coldness of his touch made Eden’s spine shiver, goosebumps peppering against her skin. 

Her cheeks were always a tainted peachy shade and it was incredibly difficult for her to maintain eye contact with him for a long period of time. Thus, she decided it was best to avoid him as much as possible. 

“Eden, let’s go eat; we can train again later,” Jean pulled her back into reality, his hand squeezing her waist gently as she blinked slowly. 

“Alright, I guess you’re a masochist or something. I don’t know who else would want their asses kicked by a toddler,” Eden deepened her voice, mimicking Jean who in turn chuckled lightly. 

“Maybe I’m just into strong women who are able to defend themselves,” he replied back cynically, the corners of his lips tucking into a wicked smirk. Eden rolled her eyes, freezing her movements when she heard Captain Levi’s cool voice from behind them.

They saluted him formally and he nodded back stiffly. The wind ruffled Levi’s hair as he marched towards them, the strands flickering before his eyes- not that it seemed to bother him.

“You’re dismissed,” he scowled at Jean, jutting his chin back towards the castle, wordlessly commanding him to leave. The younger boy hesitantly accepted his order and left sulkily, glancing back at Eden who reassured him with a smile that never reached her almond eyes.

“When you’re done, come to my office brat,” Levi instructed her in a composed manner; his eye twitching at the sight of her wordlessly staring down at her boots as she followed him back to the headquarters. 

Her silence irked him deep down, but his indifferent mask stood stoically against his face. Levi brushed past her when Eden glanced at him quickly before mumbling her affirmation. She watched him stride away, the confidence in his walk practically oozing out of him; his white shirt clinging to his body exquisitely. Eden felt her heart strain painfully as she stood staring at him walk; deciding she’d take a longer path back to base.

With folded arms across her chest, Eden intently listened to Armin share his strategic plans with the rest of the group. They had all gathered in the Captain’s office, the parchment map neatly sprawled against his impeccably polished desk; Hange, said Captain and the rest of the squad circled around it. 

Armin nervously spoke, stuttering every once in a while, completely captivating his audience with his scheme talk. A few chosen squads- including part of Levi’s Squad- would venture out into the openness of Titan territory within Wall Maria. 

There had been countless reports along the Wall Rose claiming there had been a surplus amount of humanoid creatures seeping towards human territory from the South-East direction. 

It was a risky mission Commander Erwin had bestowed Hange- who in turn decided Armin was fittest for cooking up a plan of action. Eden’s heart faltered slightly as she thought about all the poor souls destined to lose their lives the following day. She contemplated whether there was someone else who was currently thinking about how they’re probably standing beside someone who’s got less than twenty four hours left in their hourglass. 

Hange took over when Armin was done with his share of opinions. Eden caught his stare and smiled warmly at him; the twitch of her lips faltering as her grim thoughts infested her mind. He grinned back at her, nervousness abstracting him from catching onto her contorted, saddened face. 

“This is a highly significant mission that could ultimately lead us one step closer to find out the secrets laying in your father’s basement,” Hange broke Eden’s reverie as her eyes settled on the key resting against his chest. “We’ve supposedly sealed Wall Rose’s breach. But, if the claims are true and there is a sudden increase in titan sightings; then maybe something else is going on,” Hange stroked her chin idly as she stared down at the faded parchment. 

A haughty “tch” slipped out of Levi’s lips as his grey eyes finally ripped themselves off the map. 

Once the meeting was adjourned, everyone made their way towards the exit of his spacious office and Eden followed sulkily. She missed being on the battlefield, knowing her actions could someday bring humanity closer to freedom; but she was deathly afraid of being paralyzed by grief once more. She cringed at the thought, her slowly footsteps leading her closer to the threshold. Until he called out her name. 

She tilted her chin to the side, staring down at the floor from the corner of her eye before listening to him irritably command for her to turn around and face him. 

Eden closed the door softly, trembling fingers engulfed around the icy metal of the handle, her hand flexing behind her back as she made her way closer to his desk. 

Her lungs began burning intensely as her cheeks flamed up upon meeting his levelled stare. She forced herself to hold his gaze, blinking back at him through velvet lashes. Levi’s jaw clicked, the muscles in his mouth growing tense. 

“I must say, you seem to be slacking,” Levi began, watching her carefully from behind his chair, fingers brushing against the headrest. Eden’s own bones clenched, her full lips concealing the way her teeth grinded against each other.

“Instead of improving your skills; your result levels are mediocre and stay the same…dare I say they’re worsening by your lack of concentration.”

His words hurt her wounded ego. Each syllable hurt more than the previous one- like salt being continuously pouring into an open gash. Eden’s knuckles grew as pale as the parchment still spread across his desk. 

“I don’t understand. Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? I could have worked on everything today,” Eden inquired in a sharp tone, ignoring the glare he sent her way.

“I guess I just came to the conclusion now. I think your skills are lacking and it seems like your concentration levels are far off, brat. It’s sickening to think that a fellow comrade could potentially lose their life because you were too busy daydreaming about other things,” Levi replied in a venomous tone, his monotonous voice making everything sound even worse to Eden. 

She stared at him wide-eyed and in horror. “With all due respect, Captain, but what the hell? I’ve proven myself to you countless of times; I’m ready to lay my life down if it meant saving others from that fate. I would never, ever allow myself to lose focus, especially during a life-or-death situation…”

“You should sit out of this mission. Spend the time thinking over your faults and then depending on the outcome, I’ll decide whether you’ll join us on the following expedition,” the Captain coolly cut through her words, craning his head to the side as he rubbed the bridge of his nose in irritation. 

His nonchalance made Eden seethe. 

“Why do I have to sit out of this when I’ve demonstrated that I can handle this? I don’t want to stay here…-” 

“This is an order, Eden, we’re not negotiating here,” he lashed out at her, albeit his consistent, unbrokenly-calm reverie. “I will not have anyone killed out there because of you.” 

His words poisoned her heart. She was so taken aback, she physically had to force herself to stay on her feet- her mind growing murky. Her mind flashed back to Petra and Oluo, Eld and Gunther. 

“Excuse me? Are you actually trying to insinuate that the death of your comrades were my doing? I was smashed against a tree by a 14-meter tall titan and you’re really going to turn around and blame their deaths on me?” Eden’s voice came out high-pitched and broken as she slowly edged closer to the desk. 

“After you saw how hard it was for me to accept their deaths, you’re going to turn round and saying the one thing I never thought I’d hear you say…” Eden’s eyes burned with tears as she violently blinked them away, the familiar anger Levi so comfortably sparked inside her grew lit once more. 

She shook under her clothes, the tremors sending jolts of adrenaline through her as she desperately tried to keep her cool; to no avail. 

His words had caused a different type of heartbreak within her soul.

She extended her arms to keep herself from falling, her body leaning in over the desk as she stared at him through infuriated, betrayed eyes. “How dare you try to blame this on me?” 

Levi finally looked back at her, his own grey eyes enlarging ever so slightly as he met a pair of hazel eyes filled with an unfamiliar fire that he could swear he had never known before. 

He challenged her wordlessly and it took all within her not to flinch and break under his stare. 

But Eden knew her limits and when he scoffed under his breath; that border was long forgotten and overpassed. She ripped the map off the desk, hauling it to the floor before grabbing the empty tea cup and smashing it against the wall behind Levi. 

The man did not flinch as he watched Eden stalk around the desk, her expression contorted into one revealing immense anger. 

“You keep telling me you want to see me fight and give my all, right? Well, let me prove to you that I’m a soldier who’s willing to sacrifice myself for the sake of the greater good.” Eden aimed to punch his face, wincing slightly when he casually seized her wrist, twisting her round until her back collided with his chest. His hot breath tickled her neck as she writhed against him. 

Using her elbow, she shoved the bone into his ribs and used the one split millisecond she had whilst Levi was recoiling to spiral out of his arms and aim a kick towards his face. 

But no matter how unanticipated her moves were, Levi was always one step ahead of her. She snarled in frustration as he blocked her upper-cut punch, both of his hands pressing against her collarbones as he shoved her hard against the wall; knocking the wind out of her lungs. 

He snaked his fingers around her wrists as he pinned them against the wall, forearms pressing against her arm as she shuffled between him and the wall. 

“Are you going to behave or do I need to tie you up, brat?” Levi muttered, tilting his head upwards, eyes holding hers as he kept Eden pinned with enough force to make her limbs go numb. 

She huffed under his grasp and suddenly it dawned to her how incredibly foolish she had been acting. But his words, his indifferent tone; it caused her so much pain, she didn’t feel like she had it in her heart to ever forgive him. 

Eden could practically taste the tension in the air. It settled around them like fog, clogging her lungs and her ability to think properly. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, heart voraciously beating against her ribcage. 

The girl was close enough to see that Levi’s eye color was a concoction of grey and blue. She searched every inch of his face as he immobilized her against the wall, iron grip never faltering. 

Hazel eyes flickered towards downturned lips causing her own lips to part slightly. 

Scrunching her eyes shut, she shoved him hard and he stumbled back. Eden stared at him dumbfounded; completely not expecting his steps to falter. This was perhaps the first time she had caught him off guard. 

She darted towards the door, gasping shakily when Levi grabbed her by the elbow, pulling her away from the exit. 

“You don’t just start shit like this and then leave whenever you please,” he growled under his breath, brows scrunched together as he clenched his jaw tightly. Eden pulled her arm out of his grasp, glaring back at him before turning to head towards the exit at a faster pace. 

Edging closer to the door; she violently spun around by the grip he inflicted upon the back of her neck, pulling her back towards him. 

“Don’twalk away from me,” Levi said through gritted teeth, watching in wonder as Eden’s face reddened in fury. She shook her head forcibly and grabbed his hand. He stared at her haughtily as she yanked his hand off her skin before sprinting out of the office. 

She vaguely heard Levi call her by her name and after reaching a few meters outside his office, she slammed into a tall lean figure. 

“Eden, what the hell?” Jean asked in a perplexed voice as he pulled her back onto her feet; his grip tightening when his gentle eyes met the hard glare of the Captain. 

Jean’s eyes shifted from Levi’s menacing stare to Eden’s troubled ones and with gritted teeth, he went to step towards their superior. 

Eden leaped in front of him, gripping his sleeve tightly as she wordlessly told him he was about to make the gravest mistake of his life. Jean hesitated, but nonetheless took a step back; his insides burning with immense rage when Levi’s brow raised in a vexing way. 

The girl continued pulling at Jean’s sleeve silently, leading him away from the Captain’s office. She craned her neck to peak back towards him; his stone-cold eyes meeting hers before he slammed the door of his office shut. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Eden repeated after Jean continuously urged her to reveal the outcome of her hour with Levi, but no matter how hard he pressed her, she did not back down. “Just a stupid quarrel. He told me to sit this expedition out instead of joining you guys tomorrow…” 

Jean huffed under his breath as he walked her back to her bedroom. His forearm rested against the frame of the open door as he stared down at Eden with a frown.

“I can stay and hang out with you, if you’d like?” Jean muttered out as she wrapped her arms around his waist. 

“No, Jeanie-boy, you need to rest, you have a long few days ahead of you.” He rested his arm around her shoulders as he pulled her closer. 

“Admit it, you’ll miss me.” 

Eden smirked as she pulled away gently, biting on her bottom lip. “Maybe just a little bit.” 

Bidding each other good night, Eden closed the door lightly before changing into her oversized shirt and shorts and throwing herself into bed. 

Hours had passed and she could not stop thinking about everything. About the expedition, about Levi…and then Jean…and then Levi again. She groaned, thinking back to Jean’s words earlier that evening. 

Quietly padding through the dead hallways, her heart ached as she thought back to her altercation with Levi. It took all within her not to swerve her body into his offices’ direction as she continued straight ahead. 

The girl quietly waited outside his door until it slowly cracked open.

“Eden?” 

She looked up at him, blinking at the sight of his bare, lean chest, the way his muscles rippled when he stretched. 

“Jean, do you want to hang out?” 

He groggily rubbed his eyes before letting go of a breathy laugh, moving to the side, admitting her entrance. He was dressed in just sweatpants, the v-line on his body highly defined. It made Eden’s cheeks grow pink as she silently thanked the dimness surrounding them. 

Pulling her knees against her chest, Eden settled her back against the wall as Jean leaned back against his headboard. The sat in comfortable silence until his deep voice brought her back into the room. 

“Listen, are you sure you’re okay? I swear, if that man tried to hurt you in anysort of way, I will…-”

“I already told you, it was nothing. You know me, I just get upset very easily and I don’t like being put into time-out,” she replied hastily, running a hand through her freed locks as Jean watched her. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to risk your position in his squad just for me.” 

He snorted, lips curling upwards mischievously. “Maybe I’m just using you as an excuse to fight with the Captain and then once I get kicked out, I’ll form my own squad. Then, I’ll have you recruited.” Eden laughed at his words, gently shaking her head as he scowled at her. 

“Yeah, you’re right. As if Levi would allow me to transfer you into my own squad.” 

“Oh sure, because that was the only fault in your plan, right?” 

“Yeah yeah yeah,” he brushed her words away as he chuckled and she moved to swat at his arm. But, Jean was quicker and he pulled Eden closer to him by her arm. 

Her eyes widened when she realized that she was straddling him. She awkwardly settled against him, causing him to grip her by the waist to stop her erratic movements. His fingers flicked the hair off her neck, settling around the curve of her throat. 

“What are you doing?” She sighed out when he tilted his head to the side, pulling her closer to his face by her neck. 

“I just wanna see something,” he muttered, thumb brushing against her jawline. Eden let out a low, shaky breath as she kept her eyes settled against his. 

Jean swiftly captured her lips with his own. The kiss was tender and gentle. It made Eden melt away within the comforts of his bedroom; far away from the unknown deep waters that’s every other aspect of her life. He pulled her closer by the waist, his toned arm snaking around the small of her back as she shifted in his lap. 

A moment later, she ripped her lips away from his, gasping for air; her forehead pressed against his as he waited for her patiently, eyes closed, taking in her sweet taste. 

Eden’s arms were looped around Jean’s neck, her chest pressed against his as her face scrunched up at the forbidden thoughts beginning to plague her mind. She wanted to cry out in frustration as her mind imagined stone-grey eyes glaring at her. 

She swore she could taste unsweetened black tea on her lips as her mind messed with her, bringing out images of Levi. His captivating stare, his constantly downturned lips, the dark circles under his eyes made Eden feel nauseous with emotions. 

Her lips collided with Jean’s in a harsher, more vicious manner. It was as though she no longer needed to breath, she needed something more to succumb to her unquenchable, carnal thirst. Soft moans and mewls escaped in between her heated, desperate kisses as she tried to rid herself of the intensely grey, sunken eyes that could not be erased from her mind. 

Jean let out a groan when she tucked on his hair, feeling his sharp undercut graze against her fingertips. Through closed eyes, Eden imagined the stark contrast of straight, charcoal-black hair against her pale fingertips; forcing her grip to grow stronger. 

Her brows were scrunched together and her eyes were tightly squeezed shut. A single teardrop managed to wet her velveteen lashes as she drowned in the idea of her lethal Captain under her. 

Yes, this is a Levi x Reader story. But, in this household, we take the enemies-to-lovers/ slow burn tropes v v v seriously. Stick around for more and thank you to everyone who’s taken the time to read the story! xx 

Tags:@idiot-juice-enthusiast 

Story in AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919136/chapters/70952145

Chapter Eight

Eden made it her mission to avoid Captain Ackerman as much as she could. 

It began with skipping breakfast and then shoving slices of bread and fruit down her throat when everyone had already left for training. 

It continued with Eden asking everyone to train with her to keep her mind preoccupied. She assumed that Levi had also been avoiding her because she would barely see him anyway. When she had asked Petra where Levi had been after a few days; the older woman had smiled and affirmed that the Captain had been busy overseeing Eren’s progress with Hange and her squad. 

It was a quiet couple of days focused on strengthening her combat skills with her teammates. Aside from Oluo being a pompous freak; he was actually a great mentor. Not as meticulous as the Lance Corporal; but good enough for Eden to practice her fighting with. 

On the day before the 57th Expedition; she spent her afternoon after training busy with Petra. They decided it was best to clean their ODM gear and make sure there were no malfunctions that could cost them their lives or put anyone else in danger. 

That was until her blood ran cold when she heard boots crunching against the dirt. 

“Petra, when you’re done you can tend to the horses. Brat, come with me,” Levi voiced in a cool manner; the tone that had made Eden’s mind race back to that severely awkward evening. 

“Yes, sir!” Petra replied brightly, grinning at Eden before gathering up their ODM gear and making her way to the stables. The raven-haired girl took a deep breath, nerves jolting through her body as she stood up and made her way to the impatient Captain.

She stood before him, trying her best not to flinch under his hard stare. 

“Walk with me,” Levi commanded, turning his back to her and beginning to pace in a semi-rapid walk. Eden hurried to match his pace, her fist clenching behind her back as she walked beside him wordlessly, eyes averted to the side. 

He led her to the training field, eyes focused on Eden as she regretfully realized that he wanted to check her progress. 

The sparring went horrible. Eden barely made an effort; only making sure to dodge any punches aimed at her face. But other than that, her indifference enraged Levi beyond anything else. 

He kicked her to the ground once more, his eyes flashing dangerously as the wind blew his strands of hair off his face. 

“What the hell is wrong with you today?” He barked out, pulling her to her feet for the first time that day. Eden glanced away from him and onto the field with the chamomile flowers and then to the clear, blue sky.

“Nothing.” 

Levi huffed, his stone-cold eyes narrowing as he glared at the young girl. He reached over and grabbed her by her ponytail, brows scrunching together as he scowled at her nonchalance.

“Just because we had one civil conversation where neither of us were at each other’s throats does not mean there’s a foundation for exchanging childhood stories,” Levi began pointedly, his fingers digging into her scalp. 

Eden pursed his lips, teeth digging into her tongue as she tried hard to fight off the feeling of discomfort beginning to ooze into her body. She shoved her fists into his chest, albeit not moving him, he was caught by surprise. Levi slowly released her hair, clicking his tongue as the flame of rage glinted in his eyes. 

“Understood, Captain. I’m sorry.” Her tone matched his in temperature; iced and clipped. Levi craned his neck in her direction. 

“What did I tell you about apologizing for everything? You’re a strong soldier, Eden, but this need to constantly apologize for everything will get you nowhere.” He stepped back, clicking his tongue as he kept Eden’s stare. 

This was the first time he had called her by her given name. Under different circumstances, Eden would have been thrilled. But now, it just made her want to punch him hard in his face and break his stupid perfectly sculpted nose. 

Levi could sense the anger seeping out of Eden but other than that remained stoic as she rubbed her ponytail, attempting to remove any sort of contact she had with him. 

He pulled his sleeves up, commanding her to get back into a fighting stance only to have her pinned to the ground under him only several minutes later. 

“You’re not even trying,” he snarled at her, his fingers clenching around the wrist he had pinned over her head. She lightly winced, her head facing to the side, eyes trained elsewhere. 

Levi swore under his breath, the force inflicted on her wrist promising new bruises in the coming hours. He roughly grabbed her by the chin, forcing her eyes to meet his as her neck cracked painfully. She sucked in a breath, tears pooling in her eyes as she shoved him off of her. 

She rubbed any residue of tears away from her eyes before they dripped as she listened to the way Levi gracefully picked himself up. She wanted to wait for his boots to echo away; but didn’t seem to hear the sound of any more movement. 

Levi felt an unfamiliar wave of guilt wash through his tense body as his eyes settled on the bracelet of bruises around Eden’s wrist.

She looked back at him, only to find him looking down at her with a dull expression. 

“Fine. I won’t apologize anymore and I’ll make sure to fight back tomorrow when we go beyond the wall,” she finally huffed out in a snarky tone, making the Captain tilt his head to the side, strands of soft black whisking against his face.

“Maybe you should sit this expedition out then. If you can’t fight your own Captain, what good are you on the field?” He shot back as Eden immediately stood to her feet. 

“No, Captain. I amgoing tomorrow. And you’ll see…I’ll fight with everything I have within me,” Eden finished, fingers brushing against her wrist as she walked past Levi and towards the castle.

Eden woke up before the sun was even out. She wore her clean uniform, tightening her body harness around the curve of her waist and thighs. She pinned her hair back into her regular tight bun, smoothing out any baby-hairs sticking out behind her ears. 

She washed her face with cold water to wake herself up and she made her way to the dining hall. The girl couldn’t sleep that night. How could she when she didn’t know what horrors awaited herself and the rest of humanity beyond the walls. 

It was freezing, the crisp morning air making her shiver. She decided to wear her Scouting Legion cloak, the color embalming her with the feeling of immense pride. 

Today’s mission would entail the Scout Regiment’s plan to map out a course from the District of Calaneth all the way to Shiganshina. It would be hard, concerning the amount of titan land they would need to cover to reach their goal. Her heart went for Eren who continued feeling out of place. 

“These new titan abilities are making me feel so alone. It’s like I can’t meet anyone’s eyes without seeing a glint of disgust in them,” he had told Eden the previous night. 

“That’s not it. Naturally people are scared. But on the bright side, Captain Levi saved you from death. Hange is treating your like the most precious stone in existence. It’s not you that they fear; it’s the answers that lay within you…” 

Slowly slowly, the rest of the Special Operations Squad woke up as the sun stretched into existence. Everyone was unbearably quiet, even Oluo couldn’t keep up with pretending to be the Captain. Eden sipped on her water, catching Levi’s fatigued stare over the brim of his teacup from the corner of her eye. 

Petra pulled her into a tight embrace before mounting onto her horse. “It’ll be fine. Just don’t worry, we’re a strong team altogether!” 

Eden sent her a tight smile before walking over to her own horse, greeting him sweetly as she stroked him gently. 

They met with the rest of the Scout Regiment in Calaneth District. Eden’s eyes swept from face to face, trying her best to find a familiar one. In the distance, she saw Armin and Mikasa, their backs turned to her as they hopped on their horses. 

Her heart raced as she watched her friends, until her eyes met with a familiar boy’s brown ones. 

Jean. 

She bit back a smile as he smirked at her, eyes trailing to the Captain on a horse in front of her. Eden didn’t have enough time to think as Commander Erwin let out a yell, signaling the start of the 57th Exterior Scouting mission. Each Scout member’s horse began ambling towards the district’s exit, the sense of uneasiness and fear reeking around them. 

Eden trained her eyes to the front, her concentration faltering as Levi’s head angled to the side. His jaw was clenched and his undercut was sharp as the longer strands bobbed to his horse’s movements. His eyes met Eden’s for a split moment as though a wordless conversation played between them. 

But before Eden’s stammering heart could leap once more, his gray eyes were gone as Commander Erwin initiated the Long Distance Enemy Scouting Formation. 

Thank you so so much to anyone who’s supporting me with this story and who’s enjoying it so far. Initially, this chapter was meant to cover all of this, plus part of the 57th Expedition, but I decided it to split it into two parts. 

Lots of love and will be posting the next chapter tomorrow! 

Link to the story in AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919136/chapters/70952145

I miss them.

Quick redraw of the panel in chapter 138 which BROKE me

| HEADERS ATTACK ON TITAN |

• like or reblog if you saved.

AOT Characters & their kinks

(how they are in bed)

Characters:Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha, Connie

Warnings:contains smut / suggestive content (duh)

A/N:once again, I forget I can make Headcanons lol. If you’d like to see more characters, feel free to comment or send me an ask!

Eren

• Starting with the basics, is he a dom, sub or switch. Depending on his partner I think it changes, so I’d say Eren is a switch
• 100% a masochist, he loves when his partner hurts him
• This also means he’s into impact play & degrading
• I see Eren liking the idea of CNC — it goes either way so long as his partner is comfortable with it
• I can also see Eren being very selfish in bed just so he can be punished. When he’s in the mood to be a sub, he’s 100% a brat with a loud mouth
• Impact play. Once again, it goes both ways. He likes seeing your ass red from his slaps but he also enjoys when you smack him across the face
• He’s absolutely a rope bunny, tie him up & restrain him and it drives him wild. Especially if you are teasing or edging him.
• Cuckholding. He likes to use it as a form of punishment so long as you are comfortable. So either he’ll watch you fuck someone else orhe’ll make you watch him fuck someone else
• He is a creampie kinda man. He refuses to cum anywhere else but inside of you. Not even your mouth, unless you want him to.
• Breeding kink — but he also doesn’t want the consequences. So that’s a tough one buddy.
• He has… a mommy / daddy kink. He’ll call his partner either name — whichever they prefer
• Aftercare is a big thing for him!! He feels a bit guilty when he is the one on top cause he doesn’t go easy with you

Mikasa

• So, is she a dom, sub or switch? I think Mikasa leans more towards being submissive. Which seems very out of character for her in any situation other than sex.
• She has a thing for praising, she’ll be putty in your hands if you tell her she’s a good girl & stuff like that
• Loves overstimulation, she’ll beg you to stop but really she wants you to keep going
• Mikasa has a breeding kink, I’m not even sorry.
• Sucker for gags and ropes, she likes being restrained and used. But she also gets excited when the roles are reversed
• Speed round; Agrexophilia, breast worship and cunnilingus
• I see Mikasa liking collars y’all, maybe even some bows or cute lingerie
• To go along with her fascination with cunnilingus, she loves face sitting
• She likes group sex so long as she is the center of attention, she gets jealous if her partner is paying attention to someone else
• She likes sex in unconventional places, somewhere where her partner has to work for it. Like a public place, the bathtub, against a wall, etc etc
• While she isn’t that dominant in bed, she doesn’t mind if her partner refers to her as miss, madam, mommy, etc.
• Aftercare is a huge thing for her, she doesn’t want the love and praise to end after you are both satisfied.

Armin

• Dom, sub or switch? Armin can be a switch if he really wants to be, but he much prefers being dominant
• This man will gaslight you in bed, he’s huge on degrading and humiliation
• Dacryphilia. He wants to see you sobbing, he’ll even encourage it
• Impact play & choking. He’s super rough with both things, he’ll only stop if you are about to pass out
• Armin sees sex as a way to relieve his pent up stress, it’s the only time he can really show his true colors. He has a reputation to keep after all.
• Possessive as fuck, he will make you repeat his name over and over while he fucks you. Saying things like “who do you belong to?” And all that.
• Breeding kink with risks and consequences welcomed. He sees it as another way to show people who you belong to.
• Which brings us to… creampies. His cum is priceless & needs to be earned. Why waste it by putting it anywhere else.
• Though, if you don’t please him, he’s into face fucking. Either way, his cum is only being put inside of you
• Objectification & dumbification. He likes the idea of a master / pet dynamic in bed
• Body worship but only receiving, it’s part of his humiliation tactics
• Doesn’t really have a thing for pet names, prefers hearing his name leave your lips
• Aftercare is important to him once everything is said and done. He needs you to know he loves you after…

Jean

• Y’all know the drill by now, this man is a jealous switch.
• It really depends on his partner & what they lean more towards
• Jean always feels the need to prove himself, so he’s all about body worship, praising and overstimulation.
• Would happily die suffocated by your thighs & begs for you to sit on his face.
• He drools when he gets really into it, I’m talking just as cock drunk as you are while he fucks you
• Breeding kink but more so creampies. He wants to see his cum oozing out of you
• Super into Agrexophilia, not only does it turn him on but it boosts his ego tenfold
• Likes when you call him sir & when you try to talk to him while he’s pleasuring you.
• He’s into impact play but only as punishment.
• Cuckolding, he loves and hates the humiliation he feels watching someone else fuck you.
• Anal sex. He grows a fascination for it pretty quickly after the first time y’all try it.
• After care isn’t super huge for him only because the two of you are pretty fucking tired after the fact. Y’all are knocked out within 5 minutes of finishing

Sasha

• Sasha is a sub but will occasionally be a switch
• She is huge, and I mean huge on incorporating food into sex. I’m not trying to be cliche here.
• Like her favorite thing is being able to put whip cream on her partner’s genitals and eating them out / sucking them off. It’s such a reward in her mind
• She’s obsessed with oral sex, she prefers to give rather than revive but she loves reviving as well
• Loves bondage & being tied up
• Thrives off of praise and pet names, any word of encouragement gets her going
• Role play. I don’t really have an explanation for this one.
• She’s absolutely a pleaser, anything that will earn her praise and encouragement
• She isn’t against creampies, but she prefers if her partner comes on her or in her mouth
• Breathplay & breast worship are two secret favorites, she’s a bit embarrassed of both
• Sasha really gets into dirty talk, both hearing it and speaking it
• Similar to Jean, after care isn’t a huge deal because she is knocking the fuck out within 5-10 minutes of finishing. As long as she isn’t too hungry

Connie

• Starts off as a sub! He usually lets his partner take the lead until he gets a bit of confidence. Once he has a basic understanding and knows what you like. Connie is a dom.
• This man is horny 24/7 and is eager to learn as much as he can. He wants to be good and satisfying you but he also wants to know what he likes
• Absolutely loves oral sex — he will spend hours eating is partner out or sucking them off
• He’s into CNC, this goes both ways though. So if we really wanna be technical, this man is a switch
• Not a fan of blindfolds or Gags, he uses your facial expressions and noises to know how good he’s doing
• Creampie addict
• Body worship is huge with him, he loves giving it. But receiving it? He could come just from your praises
• Prefers rough sex with passion over slow sex. He’s eager to please and doesn’t have the patience for slow sex
• Man is a cervix bruiser, he is rough when he gets inside of you, he loves seeing tears stream down your face.
• Not that into dirty talk — honestly it makes him laugh
• Breeding kink? He is obsessed with coming inside of you & gladly welcomes any consequences. Honestly he kinda wants it to happen
• Aftercare is important but not a priority. He’s going to clean you up and cuddle you, but he’s also fighting to stay awake.

YALL IM SCREAMING

REINER LOOKED SO GOOD THIS EP IM KABFKAPQLA

UGH BUT JEAN

Attack on titan : high school

Summary:His connection to Armin carries the same significance as the scarf he wrapped around her throat. Each day, he clings what’s left of his own innocence. — Eren/Annie, Armin/Annie, Armin/Eren.

[Ao3 Link]

After Wall Sina, after Shiganshina, Eren’s not of-age for the military draft. So that means two years of manual labour in Wall Rose. Fieldwork. Survival becomes a matter of spite. Each evening, hunkering down in the overcrowded almshouse with Armin and Mikasa, with the other survivors of Wall Maria. In the summers there’s heatstroke and insects. In the winters someone always dies of hypothermia.

All through these two years Eren wakes up with phantom splinters in his palms, tangled in ragged sheets. The strain in his muscles from hard labour fades over months of acclimation. He’s always been active, even during his life behind the Walls; chopping wood, drawing water, running the streets with Mikasa. But whenever the sun got too high, or he got hungry enough, there was always a home to come back to. Food on the table. 

Now he is never well-rested. Now there are rats. They get between the sheets and brush up against his limbs. The screaming from the other kids, or adults, it’s all the same in his dreams. It cannot abort with a snap of inhuman jaws. Unlike Titans, rats have no concept of cruelty. They’re just trying to escape. Like any prey animal they are stupid, the same way cows are docile and unquestioning behind a sturdy fence. It wouldn’t take much effort to catch a rat, break its neck. He’s so desperate he would eat a rat whole.

Meat is reserved for the residents of Wall Sina. Some survivors are tired of waiting for government aid after a year. Last week around forty of them cornered a man with cart and horse coming from Karanese. The mob tried to grab what they could. If not for Mikasa, Eren might have been one of the kids throwing rocks at the driver. Thanks to the threat of military intervention, there are no reported casualties.

There are a lot of stories, though, about this group of survivors outside of Trost overwhelming a cart. They thought it was food, but all they found under the tarp was munitions. ODM gear. In the confusion, both the horse and driver were killed. So the Garrison rounded up those responsible. The official statement is that the perpetrators were sent out into the territory beyond Wall Rose. To reclaim the land, the adults say. Armin grits his teeth and says nothing.

Normalcy is waking up covered in sweat, no matter the season. The iron key burns cold against his breast. Whenever Armin or Mikasa ask about it, all Eren can tell them is, “It’s to the basement, at my house.” He grounds himself in the sound of their voices. Mikasa’s hands on his face. She’s saying something, probably his name. All he sees is his mother. Scolding his childish ambition. Arguing with father. Trapped under his childhood home. Even if he had gotten there in time, the damage to her legs and abdomen could be fatal. Begging Mikasa and him to save themselves. There’s a lump in his throat. Eren blinks furiously and looks at Armin instead. “Are you OK?”

Armin nods, looking at his own dirty knuckles, scabbed over. After Shiganshina, the three of them are never not OK. Even when, last winter, Armin got so sick Eren was convinced he was dying. He stayed up half the night reading out of a nautical almananc that belonged to Armin’s grandfather. Armin told him a little about celestial navigation. All Eren could think about was his quiet voice, clammy hands. He stayed with Armin until Mikasa dragged him away and told him it was up to the nurses to make sure Armin was going to be all right.

Out of the three of them, Armin gets sick most often. His childhood was spent behind books, avoiding the wrath of neighbourhood kids looking for an easy target. The transition into hard labour hits him hardest. Yet he never complains. He just makes himself smaller. Forgets to eat. Sometimes Mikasa has to sit with him until he eats, like a little kid. Sometimes Eren wants to grab Armin and snap at him that he can’t be acting stupid. Whatever he tells Armin, it always rolls off his back.

A compulsory draft of all the healthy able-bodied kids between twelve and fifteen into Wall Rose’s 104th Trainee Corps. Eren goes from sleeping in a huddle with Armin and Mikasa each night, to picking his own bed out of bunks. Finding purpose in morning drills. Skinning potatoes. Laundry duty. Standard schoolwork. He sits with Armin in the shady birch outside the courtyard when the weather’s nice, reviewing the internal mechanisms of the ODM gear. The instructors are no better than Shadis in the field or in a classroom. For the first time since Wall Maria fell, Eren has a name and a purpose outside of his status as a refugee. A place to sleep without fear of rats.

Days turn to weeks. Eren has a lot of bruises. He wakes up on the floor, pain in his shoulder, but his mouth twists into a toothy smile. The nurses call him shell-shocked. The boys skirt around him and talk to each other about training and their own experiences back home, if they’ve got a home, while Armin quietly elects to take the top bunk.

Shuffling into the mess hall in the morning, Mikasa sidles into place while Armin breaks away to discuss something with Marco Bodt. After two years of training, they no longer stand shoulder-to-shoulder. Eren watches Armin in line while Mikasa studies her watery bowl of bean-and-potato stew. Despite the objective failure that was the initiative to take back Wall Maria, there is never enough food to go around. 

“You should eat,” says Mikasa.

Eren shrugs. “Not hungry.”

Her eyes sharpen. “You can’t afford to skip meals.”

With an influx of cadets and a smaller pool of instructors, training accidents are frequent. A split lip here, a broken arm there. Even the wooden rifles can chip a few teeth. Serious injuries are usually from misuse of ODM gear. In the first year for the 104th Trainee Corps, rib fractures were common. Eren’s malfunctioning wires and closed-head injury become the prime example of why mantainance is very important. On the wires, you learn to pivot your weight.

Yesterday afternoon, the 104th Cadet Corps took it in turns through the obstacle course; a series of hoops and platforms distributed through forest terrain. A boy named Heinrich went to jump off of the starting platform. The instructor had to kick him. In free-fall, when he pressed the triggers, the wire in his gear shot out and curled itself around the wooden hoop. He was unable to right himself in time. His body hung limp until the instructors called off the exercise for the day.

The medical officer chalked up his death to poor trigger discipline. Heinrich wasn’t special. By the end of the week Armin will take his spot at twenty-ninth best. Heinrich’s family will get a letter and a small funeral. Rotting in the ground rather than excised in the maw of a monster. To the remaining 104th Trainee Corps there is no reprieve. A grimy, rot-smelling maw of his nightmares. It could be the insides of his own head spooling out onto hot dirt and rocks. Armin’s hair matted crimson. Mikasa’s dark eyes open and unseeing. But somehow he always finds himself back to the house. The bloated arm coming down out of the sky, into the rubble and–

“Eren,” says Mikasa, taking his hand in hers like she’s checking for a pulse. “I promised Aunt Karla I would look after you.” She’s looking at him sharply but all Eren sees is the hollow in her cheeks. “I’m not going to leave you alone.”

At ten years old, Mikasa would find Armin with a busted lip and dirt in his wounds, shouldering Eren aside with a stern look at his own torn sleeves, busted nose. And Eren would hold his tongue. Armin had never won a fistfight in his life.

Armin was his friend, first. Armin taught Eren how to skip rocks. How to measure the height of a building using only its shadow. Eren had always been there to protect him from bigger kids. At fourteen, Mikasa clings to Eren tightly, because he is all she has left. But Armin has nothing. 

Armin’s shoulder brushes his when he takes the empty seat on the bench. “Sorry. I got held up in line.”

“Someone giving you trouble?”

“No. Just talking with Marco about last week’s lecture.”

“Oh, right.” Eren smiles mechanically. “What did you think of it?”

“It was interesting, I suppose.” Eren is looking at him still. Armin sighs through his nose. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”

“I’m not worried,” says Eren, squaring his shoulders. “How would you know, anyway? You’re just a kid." 

Armin wheezes. Mikasa looks up. Eren grabs his shoulder and Armin shrugs him off. It’s the first time Eren’s seen him smile in weeks. "Eren, you’re the same age as me.”

“So?” Armin stirs his gruel but says nothing. Eren bumps his shoulder. “Hey, I didn’t mean it like–I’m sorry, all right?”

Armin shrugs him off. "We need to stick together,“ he says, but he looks at Mikasa. "Now more than ever.”

Eren’s best defense against a crumbling, illogical world is anger. Hatred of the known enemy turns to mania. Loss has hollowed him out. Unlike Armin, his conviction against the Titans holds no water in a political or pragmatic sense. Childhood dreams of the Scouting Legion shift from aspects of heroism to zealotry. Death is never an option. Each day, he is drifting further away from the ten year-old with sunbleached hair and blistered cheeks and the quiet girl. His connection to Armin carries the same significance as the scarf he wrapped around her throat. Each day, he clings what’s left of his own innocence.

Between classwork and field exercises there’s not a lot of extra time to talk. Mikasa’s the standout of the corps. Eren is clawing his way into the low-to-mid-range, between Bodt and Kirschtein. Armin struggles to hold a spot in the top thirty on the foundation of his technical skill with ODM gear and written tests alone. Put any one of the boys in the top ten next to Reiner and there’s no contest of strength. Reiner, ironically, takes a shine to Armin. Bolsters him like an older brother and Armin starts hanging around Eren and Mikasa less and less. He and Marco play chess in the courtyard. Pretty soon he’s trading notes with Jean and Sasha.

Eren is ranked top of the class when it comes to unarmed combat. He hasn’t seen Annie in a couple weeks, which is a little odd. If anything, his progress is thanks to her.

“She’s trying to keep up appearances,” Reiner says, nudging Eren in the ribs, “so don’t take it personally.”

Eren frowns. “She’s going to lose her spot if she doesn’t take this seriously.”

Reiner grunts. “I’ve tried to get through to her, but it always runs off of her like water. She’d listen to Bertholdt, probably.”

Bertholdt is trading blows with Armin. Eren squares his jaw. “It’s stupid.”

“She’s always been like that. I should know, I grew up with her.”

“Yeah?”

“Most of the time she likes to keep to herself. You might’ve spooked her off with your, uh, enthusiasm.”

“What’s it to her? She can just find someone else, she doesn’t have to skip because of me,” Eren insists, but Reiner’s still smirking.

“Yeah? When’s the last time you had unarmed practice with someone else?”

“Don’t change the subject.” Eren raises the wooden dagger. “Come on. Disarm me.”

Half a minute later, Reiner’s still got the dagger. Eren’s walking off a couple new bruises on his shin and his ribs. Reiner hits a lot harder than Annie, even when he isn’t expending much effort. Reiner says, “You need a minute?”

Eren shakes himself. He reaches for his leather flask, takes a pull of water. It’s lukewarm and tastes like copper. He blots his mouth. “Nah. You?”

Reiner shakes his head. “You sure you’re all right, kid?”

“Don’t go easy on me.”

“That wasn’t the move we’re supposed to be learning, you know.” Eren blinks. “It’s not a big deal. God, I shouldn’t say it like that, what kind of example am I setting for you?”

“When it comes to points, we might as well be on latrine duty.”

Reiner shakes his head. “It’s all important. And I bet Annie would be happy that someone’s paying attention to her. You’re the only one that’ll spar with her voluntarily.”

“That’s nice.” Eren shoulders past him. It’s like shoving a horse. “I’m gonna find another partner.”

His shoulder collides with a smaller body. Blonde hair. Armin, he thinks. Then Armin gets in his face.

“Jaeger,” snaps Annie, “watch where you’re going.”

“Where the hell’d you come from?” Reiner calls.

Annie just looks at Eren. She’s got a wooden knife of her own. Her knuckles are raw. She presses it into his hand, takes a couple steps back, puts up her fists. For the next couple mintues they fight for control of the wooden knife. Annie’s a smaller opponent than Reiner. Can’t use her own strength against her. She goes for his joints. If he can’t knock her down, he can keep parrying until she makes a mistake.

“That looks pretty bad.”

She shrugs. “It’ll heal.” She glances at his face. “You should treat that.”

If he goes to the infirmary, she won’t be here when he gets back. He says, “I always heal up quick.”

“You think you’re healing quickly because you’re an idiot.”

“No, I mean–you should’ve seen me, last time. I had a sprain down my calf.” He pats the flesh to illustrate. “The nurse said I couldn’t walk for a couple days. But by the next morning the medic said I was fit for training. Said it was a miracle. But I’ve always been like that.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“You’ve seen me,” he protests. “You’ve had me on the ground. And then there was that other time…”

Annie watches his eyes light up. In another lifetime, that desire to survive might be a thing of wretched, patriotic beauty. Instead his fate is surely some pathetic death on the battlefield, or in a training accident. Perhaps if he were more intelligent he’d drop the heroic idealism and go back to farming. Honest work. There he’d die from consumption or pnemonia.

“…you’re more of a a realist, I guess. Hey, are you OK?“

Annie puts some weight on her leg. She says, "Pulled a muscle.”

“Hey, don’t push yourself too hard.”

“You sound like Arlert.”

He guffaws. “C'mon. What good are any of us for killing Titans if we don’t take care of ourselves?”

“You know, they do a lot more in the Regiment than kill Titans.”

Eren looks elsewhere. The line of his face drawn taut. “Of course I know that.”

“They’re not going to let you in if you keep talking like a fanatic.”

“You know what? Jean is right. You’re a fuckin’ pain in the ass.”

“You finally figured it out.”

“At least he’s got an excuse to be as stuck-up as he is. You’re in fourth place and you don’t even try." 

"It’s not my fault you aren’t proficient at the theoretical exams.”

Eren barks out a laugh. “Look at you! Throwing around big words like proficient. You must think I’m stupid.”

Annie holds his gaze. If she says yes, you’re an imbecile, maybe after a few weeks of sulking, he’ll finally leave her alone. On the dusty field, thirteen years old, everyone cowered from her gaze but Jaeger. She flipped him on his ass and all he did was grin. Coming back each session, and no amount of bruises or broken noses or shit-talk could dissuade him. The perfect training dummy. 

She says, “I put up with you. That’s all.”

His eyes light up. “We should go another round.”

“We have class in ten minutes.”

“Oh. Yeah, all that slacking off must be pretty time-consuming.”

Annie kicks him behind the shin. Just like that, he’s on the ground. Unlike Braun, he yelps like a dog when surprised. “You don’t listen to a word I say.”

He grunts. “Nah. I shouldn’t let my guard down.” Already on his feet. She doesn’t offer a hand up. “But you might run into a situation where you get yourself outnumbered, and all those kicks can’t help you against a Titan. It’s not just about playing soldiers.”

A week ago, she, Springer and Jaeger were on kitchen duty. The boys all looked at Jaeger like a madman and the girls made an effort to be nice but they were always talking to each other. They’d rather be with Kirschtein, or Braun, or Hoover. Not suicidal Jaeger with a paring knife, sitting over the wooden tub, peeling potatoes. His above-average skill appreciated by none, save for Annie.

Then Jaeger said, “You want to switch off? My wrist’s starting to cramp.”

“I’m all right.”

“Come on. We can split the work, it’ll get done faster.”

Annie took the knife from him. Too blunt to be a real weapon. If she cut herself herself it would just heal over. She couldn’t ask the instructor to show her something her father never deigned to teach, but she was going to look like a fool either way. Maybe she should’ve asked Carolina.

“Annie?”

She bristled. “I’ve got it.”

Jaeger grabbed her wrist. “You’re gonna cut yourself like that. Here.”

One week later, Annie is peeling potatoes without the risk of steaming away the blood, or blowing up half the building. Carolina has gotten it in her head that Annie’s trying to impress Jaeger. So Annie starts skipping out on all the classes that don’t count for points. She’s got a reputation to uphold. Nevermind that a paring knife is as useful against a Titan as Brazilian jiu-jitsu, but she’s not going to break Jaeger’s heart over this.

On the training field she turns away from Jaeger and says, “We’re done for today.”

“OK, fine.” He’s trailing behind her like a lost puppy. “We should talk more.”

“Hm?”

“It doesn’t have to be sparring. We could study together.”

“I’m OK by myself.”

“All right.” He falls into line beside her. “You’re, uh, easier to talk to. Most of the other guys think I’m stupid.” Annie side-eyes him. Eren glances right back. “You’re not so bad now that I’ve got to know you better. Besides,” he says, “I think I’ve learnt more about self-defense from watching you than any of the instructors.”

“It’s not my job to be your friend.”

His brow furrows. “I guess not.” He bumps her shoulder. “Well, I like talking to you.”

Annie pauses. “Why?”

“I just do.” He grins. “Partners next time?”

“Ask Braun or something.”

“Sure–” he walks in front of her, comes to a stop “–only if YOU promise not to skip out.”

Annie exhales through her nose. “Sure.”

His face lights up. He’s got what some girls would call a pretty smile. “Great, see you next time!”

She could kick out his ankle and have him on the ground. Just to see his eyes go big. His pulse wild against her fingers. Probably a bad kisser. Not that she’s had much practise. Disregarding Ackermann, he’s too single-minded to pay her any attention.

“Don’t faint, all right?” He claps Arlert on the shoulder. When he leaves, Arlert shrinks into himself. Annie pauses.

“Does he bother you?”

Armin looks up. The top of his head, tip of his nose, is pinkish. “Did he ask?”

“No.”

Arlert frowns and returns to his book, his shoulders hunched. Mindful of her, but unfettered. Perhaps growing up beside a beast like Ackermann has tempered his fear of outsiders. He frowns at the book. Up at Annie, who blinks but doesn’t prod. Back down at the book.

“He feels obligated because I’m ranked lowest out of all the male soldiers in terms of physical endurance. I appreciate where he’s coming from, but I wish he’d just focus on himself.”

Braun’s second-highest in the group overall. Not that it matters to her. “I don’t see why you’re complaining. It’s basically a free ride.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re in the top five. I don’t have the physicality for much besides farm work.”

“How’d you end up here?”

“Once Shiganshina was…” he averts his eyes “…you know, I didn’t have any family to rely on. Neither did Eren and Mikasa. We just stuck together as well as we could and somehow we’re here. I suppose you’d say I owe them my life.”

His eyes are a darker blue than her own, and Braun’s. They are graced with the kind of profound despair that no fourteen-year-old should have to carry around. The burden of knowledge she contends with each day would surely split his back in two. “Annie, do you have friends like that?”

Annie shrugs. Bertholdt and Reiner are each others’ friends. “Not really. I’m just here to get my badge.”

“I can respect that." Arlert smiles. "You’d get along great with Mikasa.” Annie scoffs. “Don’t be an ass. You have a lot in common.”

“She’s an overachiever.” And a try-hard, like Braun. At least Jaeger has a decent reason to be so overzealous.

“She’s had a rougher go of things than most. Don’t be so dismissive.”

“A lot of cadets here had a rough life. They don’t fall all over themselves trying to compensate for their lack of social skills.”

Arlert frowns. “Why don’t you go bother Eren or something?”

“He doesn’t need me to hold his hand.”

“Bertholdt’s nice. He talks to me about you sometimes. Go hang out with him or something.” Annie hesitates. “Anyway, you’re the only one in the top ten that skips.”

God, this kid is a smartass. “What’s it to you?”

“Training is optional today. You’d know if you attended regularly.”

She straightens up. “It’s good for you that you’re so smart. You’d make a pretty bad farmer.” Arlert’s shoulders tense. She shouldn’t bother with a kid this frail but she hesitates. “I mean. You shouldn’t sell yourself short just because you don’t make the MPs, or wherever you want to go." 

"Thanks.” He looks up at her in a way he never has before. “You shouldn’t, either.”

The hint of compassion in his tone twists like a knife. Leonhardt retracts her hand. “Don’t get soft on me.”

Arlert grins. “I won’t if you won’t.”

Annie walks away. This kind of idealism doesn’t fit on a kid without the same manic drive or physical aptitude as Jaeger. At least Arlert’s got sense. One day he’ll make a pretty decent politician.

Tomorrow they’ll be back to ODM training, as usual. After two years they’ve all grained some muscle mass and a few scars. The bruises on naked flesh in the shape of ODM straps, fading to mottled greens and yellows, never quite heal over. On Armin’s body they are prominent.

Before Armin climbs into his bunk his hand catches on Eren’s shoulder. Coordination without words, the same as putting together a rifle. He scales the ladder while Eren lies back. In a few minutes it will be Lights-Out. He closes his eyes, but his shoulder is still warm.

“Armin,” he says, “don’t worry about me, all right? I can look after myself.” Armin says nothing. Either he’s reading, which it’s too dark for, or he’s displeased. Eren opens his eyes. Armin can’t be asleep, because he’s sitting on the side of the bunk. Eren scowls up at his bony feet dangling overhead. “Armin?”

“You could have cracked your head. Mikasa was worried.”

Eren rolls his eyes. “I didn’t crack my head.”

“That’ll end your military career faster than most accidents. If you broke an arm, you might be OK. Puncture a lung and you have a few minutes, depending on the severity of the wound. But you have a higher probability of a closed-head injury on the wires, or the obstacle course. Especially if you don’t have a good grasp on the wires.”

“You get all this from your book?”

“They went over common injuries in class. They go into more detail in the medical texts, which we don’t need to read.”

“I know they talked about it. Sounds like you’re just nervous. Once you get thrown around a bunch, you get used to it. You don’t worry so much.”

Armin’s weight shifts on the bunk. “I understand my own limitations, Eren. That’s different.”

“That’s selling yourself short.”

“It’s not a soldier’s job to get in pointless fights.”

“I meant the ODM gear. Not a fistfight. It’s not even the same thing.”

“God,” snaps Kirschtein from the furthest corner of the dorm, “who do you think you are, his mum? At least Mikasa can take a hint." 

"Jean,” says Marco, “just go to sleep, it’s not worth it.”

Connie sits up. Samuel says, “Are you two gonna take this outside?”

Eren averts his eyes.

“That’s it? Not gonna fight without your sister around?”

“Say that to my face,” Eren snaps.

“Both of you, shut up,” Braun snaps, “or you’re gonna get Shadis down here.”

Eren grits his jaw. Kirschtein mutters something to himself and the sheets rustle.

“She’s too smart to get involved in any of this,” mutters Armin.

Eren laughs.

“Piss off,” says Kirschtein.

The lights cut.

Waiting

Secret Disguise

15 & 19 y/o Jeanbo