One of the most unoriginal lines on dating app bios got me like:

Also, we ALL like food, traveling, and pretending to hike regularly. Write something else.

What they probably think they sound like:

What they actually sound like:

Welp, bye. Excuse me while I go stand by myself next to the food and alcohol. 

Appreciate the support and help but dating now is an entirely different beast. Dating behaviors and mechanics have mutated and require a whole new survival kit…

Versus during the date….

gasp, feigned surprise.

Our digital footprints are a double edge sword…I want to make sure he is who he says he is but I also hate that I now know he participated in the 2005 fad of frosted tips.

When I match with someone but they start the conversation this way…

Not anymore.

All I ever wanted was to be in a serious relationship and dating apps are supposed to be a means in which to get there. Instead, I’ve been stuck in a seemingly endless groundhog’s day of dating. 

So…am I being punished for something?

Why are all the dating app experiences basically the exact same?

Forkin’ shirtballs - I’m in dating purgatory. 

Huge dating app pet peeve is when guys say they include their height because “that’s the only thing girls care about”….

Seriously, f*ck off with that nonsense. Put your height or don’t but stop pretending it’s for our sake and not your own vanity.