Loki finally getting the full gay comic cover treatment

him✨

Little Drawbacks (Part two)

Pairing: Loki x Fem!Reader

Summary: An armed plot calls the avengers together again, this time with the ineffective help of the god of mischief. Given the complexity of the case, SHIELD was forced to call a retired agent back to the field.

Warnings for this chapter: Curses, mentions of blood and guns, shooting.

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Loki Taglist:@lokisprettygirl22@lucky-foxface@otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore@high-functioning-lokipath@thereadinggeek@el-zef@apine7

“You” I spoke silently.

His eyes were blue, as deep as the ocean itself. His skin was of a clean alabaster tone, unmarked, not a scar or blemish in sight. The black hair that hung down to brush his shoulders gleamed in the sunlight that shone behind him, as did the armor he wore.

His body was slim and he didn’t seem to be very strong, though judging from his posture and body language, he seemed to have an air of superiority, so he seemed threatening, but not necessarily strong.

“Do I know you?” he asked me, he seemed angry about something, “No, who are you?” he seemed very familiar, “Who else? You have the prince of Asgard before you, mortal” my silence made him rephrase, “Loki, god of mischief” oh, now I see why.

“Oh, cool, where can I find the others?” he widen his eyes, looking at me weirdly, “Four floors up, I’m coming there myself” I nodded, watching him coming in. I was absolutely right, he seemed like a bad person, however, not a bad man at heart.

“What?” I was staring and he noticed, shit! “Nothing, in your file you seemed with more muscle” he scoffed, “Did it looked blonde, in the picture?” I told him no, “Disappointed?” he leaned against the opposite wall, smirking, yet I knew he was hiding some insecurity.

“Not really” he seemed…surprised? But only for a moment. When the elevator’s bell chimed before the door opened, he shifted his body and vision straight into what it seemed to be a lounge.

The place was enormous, I had never seen a place that big, well, the stadium, but I mean like an apartment that huge.

“Ah, Reindeer Games, and…who are you girl? Thor will love this, Point Break! You brother finally has a girlfriend!” That was Tony Stark in all his nature, almost literally, he was just wearing a robe and he looked like he was just ran over.

“Brother!” A blonde buff man made himself present, holding a beer in his hand and a remote control in another, “Who’s this? A friend of yours?” Contrary to Stark’s tone, Thor seemed hopeful, not taking my presence as a way to mock the person beside me.

“Mister Odinson, I presume” the blonde nodded, a smile painted in his face, “Pleasure to meet you, may you be so kind to indicate where that son of a bitch, Fury, is at this moment?” I felt Loki’s stare, I turned to look at his amused expression before returning to the blonde prince, slightly annoyed for some reason.

“You should watch that mouth miss, what would your mother say?” His fucking one-eyed face appeared and I moved away from Loki. I sprinted and made myself very tiny, then grew again to hit Fury right under his chin, knocking him down to the floor.

“Speak Nicholas” I placed my heel right up in his chest, adding pressure so he wouldn’t dare to move, “Great punch, how about we gather everyone and then I’ll tell you everything?” Negotiating with me in that state would’ve been futile, but I was in no mood of a further drama, so with a sigh and a heavy groan I stepped away and allowed Tony to help Fury get up.

“How- how did you do that?” Thor rambled, dragging all his words, “I just can” my indifference felt cold in my mouth, he was just drunk and he really didn’t asked a prying question, “I really don’t know much about it, so like I said, I just can” his smile after I softened my tone made me feel better somehow.

I spent ten minutes waiting for the Avengers to gather in the room, along with Nick, the only sound echoing in the meeting room was my foot tapping the floor.

“Is it really necessary to have them all here? Can’t we just mail them the info?” I was growing out of patience, and fast.

“You will be on a team, you must include the team, you’re not going to do this alone Y/n” he paced.

“Why not? They’re gonna slow me down, and besides, you’ll be sending them to their deaths!” Slamming the table did no good, he was annoyed, he doesn’t bend the arm when he’s like that.

“They defeated Thanos” and yet he spoke as serenely as he could, I didn’t held back on what I thought, one of the reasons I was fired quit SHIELD.

“Who you think made the Black Order, dipshit? Those warriors that fought for Thanos that almost got Maximoff and The Vision killed?” I put emphasis on Vision. Those warriors were the very elite of killers, courtesy of that monster.

“And you think you have more chance to defeat him on your own?!” His booming voice made me flinch in my seat, he then pinched his nose in annoyance and walked towards me and held my hand, “I know you have a problem with heroes, but give them a chance, you’ll be free of your burden soon enough”.

That’s what I wanted, to finally get rid of all that weight that has been making me take the wrong choices, his death will be my ticket to an endless relaxation..at last.

But…

“If you knew as well as you say, you wouldn’t force me to work with them”.

I don’t work with “heroes”.

The next thirty minutes were mainly Captain America explaining why I was there to begin with, not because it was a big story or anything, but because they wouldn’t shut up! It was a disaster.

“Okay, ENOUGH!” My voice made them turn to look at me, the only not surprised for my outburst was Fury, I think he saw it comming.

“YOU DON’T GET IT! We’re dealing with a mastermind in genetics and neuroscience, this son of a bitch can bring people form the fucking dead! Doctor Jasper Rosario is a fucking genius, he makes everyone look like a retarded baby, so to speak. He’s dangerous, vicious, he doesn’t feel empathy, and won’t stop at anything to get what he wants” I was at the verge of tears, but I managed to control myself.

“Then what does he want exactly?” Natasha asked, her tone was soft and understanding, but serious at the same time, it was oddly comforting.

“That’s what scares me the most, he has no pattern, no signs of achieving anything specific, he’s random and unpredictable, there’s no way to catch up with him. When you least expect him, he already turn the game to his favor”

“And how do you know this much about this Dr. Rosario?” Tony asked suspiciously, “Because I was on a mission when Dr. Rosario kidnapped and killed my brother and father”.

A dead silence took over, they had looks of pity and understanding, but I didn’t need that, “I want his head, there’s no place safe in the universe if he breathes, so when the moment comes I want none of you to stand in my way, or else you’ll join him”.

It wasn’t a threat, but a warning, once I have him in my range, I have no idea what I’ll do to him, or to those around me, so it’s better that they stay away from me as possible.

“Mischief, I’ve been told that you can teleport” I could see his nervousness before he changed it for a cheeky grin, “I can, want me to show you?” I blinked and he was behind me, holding my hand in his, interlacing his fingers with mine as he finished the phrase.

“I think this abilities of yours could be very useful in this particular case, would you care to join?” He hummed, thinking, or at least pretending to.

“Why should I help you, little mortal?” I could handle mortal, but not little, his attitude was infuriating, “Because you owe me, I saved your life” time for him to make up for that incident.

He looked at me rather confused, so before he could ask I answered his doubt, “The shooter in the helicopter, he was about to shoot you, if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be here today” and also that caused my early retirement.

“You fool, I’m a god, I can’t be injured by your weapons–” I took out my gun and shot at his hand, making a pretty wound, “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, YOU WHORE!” He yelled, having let out a cry of pain. When he more or less calmed down, he stared indignantly at all the blood dripping from the wound for a moment before I could answer him.

"To prove my point, you bleed, you’re as mortal as any of us. I saved your life, now it’s time to return the favor, or is it that you have no honor…your majesty?” His wound healed itself, leaving no mark, reluctantly he took my hand and squeezed it a couple times before bringing it to his lips, leaving a soft kiss on my knuckles.

“I will help you, but once he’s dead, we’re done” he looked down to my eyes, he was obviously angry, but his smirk was… distracting? I couldn’t read his emotions, so I just imitated his smirk, “Fair enough”.

LOKI

There was this, impulse, my eyes fell to her lips, I felt so compelled to close our distance and kiss her, not very sure why, but I wanted to…Needed to.

Who are you Y/n?

Little Drawbacks (Part one)

Pairing: Loki x Fem!Reader

Summary: An armed plot calls the avengers together again, this time with the ineffective help of the god of mischief. Given the complexity of the case, SHIELD was forced to call a retired agent back to the field.

Warnings for this chapter: Curses, mentions of blood and guns.

Loki Taglist:@lokisprettygirl22@lucky-foxface@otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore@high-functioning-lokipath@thereadinggeek@el-zef

*Ok so before everything, yes, all the avengers are alive, let’s just pretend that, ok? and yes it will be 2021 after Thanos and all that mess, enjoy (And yes, I am aware that those are not the cannon dates, but let’s go this way k? Trust me)*

Next Chapter___Masterlist

Someone, anyone who heard it, would say “I’m sorry” or “My condolences”, that day nobody said shit, they just watched the crate of a boy of no less than thirteen years old go down into the dark hole to be covered by dirt.

No one cried for him, they couldn’t, my father didn’t like senseless emotions like pity or anger, that’s why he kept making me and my sister happy, “Happy as a clam” he used to say, all the fucking time. In the long run, it gets boring, emotions are something natural, something strictly linked to our most primitive instincts, the moment I opened my mouth to say something about it, it all started.

2012.

It was so weird.

That morning at 6:30, I stretched out and got out of bed to start the day, took a shower, chose a more or less simple outfit, ate an absolutely unhealthy breakfast, because I had leftover donuts from last night, and headed out.

My job was pretty simple, get behind the moldy desk, pretend to organize some documents and complete mission reports while I kept people away from hacking the system, along with three other agents. All tasks that required a steady hand to write, as Maria Hill called it the day I started to work.

Not that I didn’t enjoyed it, because I did, but my set of skills were enough to be a field agent, not some sort of paper-tidying doll with a cold, lifeless gaze, as most of the people who worked in the office had.

But that wasn’t the weird thing about that day.

To sum it up, Maria came to my desk and asked me to follow her to the roof, she looked very hurt and the smell of blood and sweat would attract attention, so I thought it would be better not to question her and follow her to the helicopter that was flying, more like hovering, over the roof.

“Get inside!” She screamed over the noise of the engines, I ran taking care of my head from the propellers and jumped into a seat, quickly fastening all possible seatbelts.

“What the hell is going on!” I caught her attention with the confused stare I shot at her.

“I’ll explain when we get there!” heard her through the headphones a man gave me and nodded in response. The city looked so pretty from up high, but you really didn’t had time to appreciate it, “Pretty weird seeing you without being glued to Fury’s leg, is he dead or something?” you yelled, earning a disapproval look from her and a soft giggle from the man next to you.

“He’s busy gathering the Avengers, we have a situation and I require stealth” Obviously I wasn’t going to fall for her lies, with a single arch of an eyebrow I made her spill the beans, “Barton was kidnapped” she confessed, “So replacement, I don’t feel at all offended” she sighed and handed you a classic yellow folder with the name ‘Loki’ written on it.

“Loki? Like the Norse god? Terrorists are so creative these days” settling the files on my lap I stared at the weapon, a scepter with a shiny rock, “No, he’s the actual god, a lunatic from outer space…literally” I gave her a confused look as I went through the little info they had about him, plus a few pictures.

“We’re holding him in a cell, but I have a hunch” she explained, “Too easy” she nodded and I knew, something was definitely up.

“This is everything on him so far, right?” I asked, there were a few side notes provided by his brother Thor, but weren’t really useful to loosen up the knot in my stomach.

‘Trickster god, now that’s reassuring. He looks like a well grown man, but if the reasons for this show are what appears here then there’re dealing with a brat that requires a good old fashioned beating’ I thought passing two fingers over my lips in a thoughtful way.

“What did you need me for again?” I questioned while handing her back the folder.

“I–” She was cut off by an explosion sound, it was deafening but thanks to the headphones it stopped midway. Part of the helicopter door to my left was destroyed and wide open.

In the sky, I saw SHIELD’s Helicarrier, along with several planes firing at the engines. Nothing came out of my mouth more than a gasp. “Y/N!” barely heard Maria scream my name. And then I saw the reason, part of my seat almost hung from the screws that held it to the helicopter, but I did not care that I was in danger of death, something in the distance caught my attention.

I was watching the man in the photos jump towards a transporter, his clothes appeared to be green adorned with gold. And he looked buff and tall. That much I could appreciate due to the distance. I noticed him how he stopped midway, a red dot appearing on his forehead.

“Motherfucker!” exclaimed a soldier next to me, aiming his gun at Loki, no second thoughts, I just unfastened my seatbelt and jumped on him, the shot bounced off the metal until it was lost in the air. When my eyes went back to the helicopter, the transporter’s gate was closed and it was taking off. My mouth fell agape.

What the fuck did I do?

“What were you thinking?! Agent Harper had Loki in his shooting range, and if not for your impertinence and insubordination he would not have escaped!” Fury yelled as he paced in his command center.

“There was something off with him, besides how dare you suppose that simple bullets would kill a god? you have to think about this more calmly” he turned around and scoffed, “We don’t have time to think about it, Loki has an army coming” images about a device started showing on the screens.

“Sir I—” he cut me off, “Y/n, for years you’ve been a remarkable agent, a loyal soldier, a good friend” he put his hand on my shoulder as he softened his tone in the end, “But you let yourself be pushed around by your own impulses, and that’s something I cannot have in war” I know exactly where he was going, “Were gonna have to let-“ before he could finish that sentence I shot him something that at least would put some extra money in my pocket, “I quit, and I demand due to years of service my right to retirement”.

The check-in agents took my chip away and handed me a box with some books and the cushion I had on my chair. It was a shitty situation, but this kind of incident had already happened in the past, despite my good performance, I did let myself go.

The idiot I had let go caused a literal war in the district I lived in, when I got to my apartment, the building was destroyed by a huge monster that crushed the roof and literally everything in front of me right after I opened the door.

But at that time? I didn’t give a fuck about it. I just turned around and let the actual agents deal with it.

BUT! Before I even realized it, it was April 2021, I was about to turn twenty-five years old in just ten days. “Agent Y/N Ora Rivers” but that motherfucker in the blue starred suit had to appear at my door, “No” I closed the door in the face of Captain America, because fuck it! “Miss Y/N, I really need to” his voice was like honey, but there was no way in hell I would go back, “NO! IT’S BEEN NINE FUCKING YEARS!!” I yelled against the door, “Miss Y/N! You’re needed back in SHIELD, there’s been a situation” I heard him try to sound convincing, “It’s about some issue with mutants, Fury told me you would know more about it”.

In that moment, that spark I had nine years ago, the adrenaline, the rage…It all came back.

“Move stipes, and radio everyone and tell them I’m in no mood for any bullshit” he tilted his cap out of curtsey and lead me to the jet just casually parked in the middle of my field, “Fucking great” I said getting in and taking one of the seats, one without a window.

“No window view?” he asked while sitting in front of me, my lack of response made him clear his throat and start with another option. “Steve Rogers, pleasure to meet you” I shook his hand, sadly I couldn’t be nicer to him, that couple of sentences regarding Fury and the whole thing happening, got me pretty on edge.

Cap never said a word after that, I think he thought I’d have to calm down before meeting with the team, I appreciated the gesture, but it wasn’t like he was very talkative per se, even after the plane dropped us off at the airport. He didn’t say much, other than ‘this way’ when he was about to make a wrong turn on the way out of the gate.

I felt very nervous about everything that was happening, on the one hand I was going to go back to work, but on the other hand, maybe my suspicions about who was causing an Avengers level threat could be right, that scared me.

Perhaps he noticed, because from one second to the next, the captain’s hand moved to my shoulder, his thumb lightly stroking the material of my shirt.

I smiled at him; he wasn’t going to get more than that.

“I have to fix a couple of things on the second floor, go straight to the last one, I’ll catch up with you in a bit” she pressed the button that said 'penthouse’ and got off at the second floor, just like he said.

I went up without any problem, I even thought that I had a decent meeting with my new companions and that stupid Fury, until the damn elevator door opened.

“You”

Anon request: Could you write for Loki with an s/o who tries out using for the first time after a long day of being overwhelmed? and Loki is there to look after them?

• You ask I write!
• If I step someone’s tail, I deeply sorry.
• With all my love to you, my darling!

*My requests are open*

Pairing: Loki x Fem!Reader

Summary: It’s easy to tell someone to breathe, but what if that’s not enough? Loki understands the feeling, that’s why he’ll be there for you, even in your lowest.

Warnings: Illicit drug use for medical purposes, overwhelming feelings, comfort.

Loki taglist: @lokisprettygirl22@lucky-foxface@otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore@high-functioning-lokipath@thereadinggeek@el-zef@apine7@beakami@lokiprompts

Needed

Being the replacement for Pepper Pots as Tony’s secretary wasn’t easy, you had to follow Tony Stark wherever he went, or wherever he was called to go. That included being around lots of people for long periods of time, standing up and smiling, putting up with comments about either your boss or your body and your usefulness, the sluts who couldn’t keep their claws off your married boss, the assholes who swear that by attacking your self-esteem you will follow them to their luxury car and then never see them again.

You hated those events, they bring out the worst in you, and to top it off after all that fiasco you had to go back to the office to finish paperwork.

You felt it rising, an uncomfortably warm sensation in your chest that hugged your lungs tight; to try to ease it you breathe deeply a few times, but it still felt warm, your sore neck was giving you a hard time, the heels you were wearing were making your spine hurt a lot.

“Hey Y/n! How about you take the night? My wife can handle it from here!” you forced out a smile and nodded, loosing yourself in the crowd as you were looking for the exit.

Where was the exit again?

The music in the background was muffled, a loud high pitched ring made you cover your ears, but the noise came from the inside of you. Your stomach lurched from disorientation, yet you seemed calm, you were finally able to breathe when you got into your car and drove home.

You took off your heels and threw them to who knows where, sighing and growling, the bright light of the kitchen hurt your eyes, “Welcome darling, are you hungry?” your boyfriend appeared rose up from the couch, leaving his book aside to greet you, yet his face shifted when he looked at you, “My love, are you okay? You look pale” maybe you wanted to cry? no, that damned light! the awful party, you were just feeling too much. “I really just want to lay down baby, I just…I” your brain got a bit tied, as it couldn’t think of another thing than just getting into bed.

“Words my love, you can do it…may I?” Loki knew what kind of state you were in, so he would ask for your consent before touching you, even though every time you just nodded and melted into his soft touch, which brought a bit of clearness into what you needed in the moment.

“I’m just not up for anything, alright? I’m tired” that wasn’t fair, you were being mean to him, over something that he has no fault in, “I’m so sorry my love, I-” he cut you off with a soft peck on the lips, “Sounds like you had a hard day, do you want me to stay with you? maybe eat something? or do you wish to be alone?” he softly spoke.

It was wonderful that he gave you options, all to allow your brain to rest, “I want to be alone, can I still call you?” he petted your hair and kissed your forehead, “Whenever you want my love, go rest” one last kiss on your forehead made your muscle memory work, otherwise walking would have been a real hazard.

At some point at work you decided you just wouldn’t go through another episode, so you called your therapist and she told you something you didn’t expected. She recommended a medical dose of cannabis, she said it came with more pro’s than con’s with your situation, but that in simpler words, it would work as a temporary distressing or coping mechanism, since your usual pills weren’t making you feel any better.

The dose she prescribed was “safe”, she said that it would be controlled and measured so that there would be no risk of your body becoming addicted to the drug. She also asked that your boyfriend meet her to explain him the procedure and how he could help you improve your situation.

Loki loves feeling useful when it comes to you, so it wasn’t really a surprise when he told you he was 100% ready to help you, he looked like a dark fur golden retriever.

You were at a very non sketchy place to get it, somehow you expected it to be a dark alley or the back of a gas station, but since it was a rescripted dose, you could safely ask for it at a normal drugstore.

You weren’t supposed to consume it right away, your therapist advised you to make a tea out of it, or bake it, but neither of the servings had to contain a high dose of cannabis.

You got your solution, but you were scared, of the effects, the way your body could react to it, all of it kept you away from the drug, being reluctant to even think about consume it, it being still a substance that could harm you, it had an important weight in a moral sense, but then again it had the purpose of making you better. So there you hanged on a mental thread.

Until one day, same as any day at work, you came back with your heels in hand, drenched in your own sweat and the rain that poured like a wild ocean. You ran away from a party that Tony hosted to celebrate a victorious mission, it ended up with you locked up in a public bathroom in a gas station, your eyes shut, the coldness of the tiles somehow soothed your headache.

You felt inclined to move your body towards the WC, your stomach and your head managed to send your senses to hell, the command was to vomit, but you had nothing inside you. It hurt so much to try to force all the pain out by hurling, and failing miserably, so you ended up falling against the wall giving up, exhausted and in pain.

“Loki, please my love…I need you” you hugged your body close, hoping he would hear your broken sobs, and luckily he did, he appeared by your side, held you close to his chest and after passing his arm under your legs he scooped you up. “I think it’s time my love, should I brew the tea for you?” you nodded, massaging his silky black curls as he teleported you back to your shared bedroom.

“Would you like me to dress you, or you can manage?” you groaned, he lowered your body to the bed, “I don’t know Loki, it hurts” you did felt better knowing that you were in familiar grounds, his fresh scent sent the dizziness away, his soft caresses…but it still bothered you, why if you were so well, why you succumbed to pain so easily? It made you furious.

“My love, I’ll do it for you, I feel your frustration, just concentrate in my voice and my hands, please?”

“JUST!…” you took a deep breath, his touch was lovely, but in your state it was just too much. Felling him, then your head, then the light of the room, how everything just started to spin around. Your body, you couldn’t figure out where that tingling, like an electric sensation, was coming from, it hurt and infuriated you, not knowing.

“Please my love” you had taken his hands off of your body with such urgency, he understood that he wasn’t helping. He didn’t let you alone for much time, he came back with your favorite mug filled with the funny smelly tea.

“I diluted a little portion in this tea, but it will take longer to be effective because your system will process it, but read that if you smoke it, it will take maybe ten minutes” in that desperate moment, you pushed away the cigar and took the cup. It’s that you needed the pain to go away, but ruining your lungs was out of the question.

You drank the mug’s content, a couple drops fell from the corner of your mouth but Loki was quick to wipe them off, earning a warm smile from you.

“Will you wait with me?” He nodded, sitting beside you with his back against the bed, lowering just enough so your head could flop on his shoulder.

Around ten minutes went away, and you woke up from Loki’s lap with a smile on your face, feeling giddy, light. You brought your fingers up to Loki’s forearm, drawing a line back and forward to his wrists.

“Hello~” you giggled, watching a smile forming on his face, “Hello gorgeous, how are you feeling?” The hems of his fingers barely touched your cheek, the electric sensation left, instead you leaned against him and encouraged to caress you with his full hand.

“Cloudy, floaty, lovely” he watched you breathe, it was relaxed, deep, and you really seemed to enjoy the coldness of the air filling your lungs. And he just loved to see you better, or at least not in pain.

“Take it easy love, there’s nowhere to go, nothing to do, it’s just you and me. Besides, when you were sleeping I called Stark, you have the rest of the week off” he lowered his head to leave little kisses on your face, “You’re mine, only mine for a whole week” you laughed, as you used to do before all the disaster, “I’m yours every day, Loki, always” you love to see him smile, you imagined a little tail wiggling from side to side every time he was happy.

A rumble on your stomach made him look at you funny, he corrected your posture from his lap to cradle you in his arms, so your face would be merely inches from his, “Hungry, love? What do you crave? Sweet, salty, sweet and sour?” so many options to choose from, and yet you went with “Cheetos with Nutella”, his eyes widen in surprise, he thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t.

He left you watching cartoons while he teleported to the market, he didn’t took long but you didn’t even notice, you were fascinated with the colors and the quietness in your brain. It was just you, in cloud 9.

He handed you a portion of Cheetos on a bowl and the jar of Nutella. He assured you that it was only yours so you didn’t need to worry about leaving any for him, that sparkle in your eyes will never leave his mind.

He passed his hand behind your back, with his strength it was easy to push you forward gently for him to accommodate you between his legs, with his back resting on the cushions and yours on his chest. Your head and your body reclined in the search of his warmth, his affection, he would die to see you that happy without needing to be drugged, however, his beloved mortal did not work like that, and it was fine, he liked feeling needed.

“Loki?” he saw your eyes perk up, as well as your drowsy smile and silly giggles that made him chuckle, “Yes my love?” your hand that didn’t had Cheeto dust went up to caress his hair, “Thank you, for being in my life” you finished giving him a heartfelt smile before paying attention to the drawing on screen, you head nuzzling against his shoulder.

“No darling” he pressed you more against him, “Thank you” after whispering, he placed one kiss to your cheek, inhaled on your scent and closed his eyes, feeling your content and simple joy as you munch on your strange delight, “Someday” he thought to himself.

Someday he was going to take you away, from your pain and Earth. To a shack he was building on a distant planet while you were working. It was filled with flowers and protected with its own orbit, shielded with a spell and a giant snake that would prevent strangers to taint his gift. Someday, he repeated to himself like a prayer while eyeing the lowest drawer under the TV, where he kept the ring.