earlgreytea68:

I have this theory that I call my Golden Ratio Theory. The theory states that there is some golden ratio of angst to end-happiness that you must hit in order to have your audience truly believe in the happy ending and find it satisfying. I do not have any precise mathematical formula in mind, I just know that, proportionately, the more angst in the overall narrative, the longer the happy coda at the end has to be to convince the audience that the ending actually will stay happy. 

Because, the more angst you’ve had through the length of your narrative, the more you’ve conditioned your audience not to trust happiness, to believe that it only lasts for fleeting moments before being yanked away again. If that’s the pattern you have established in your narrative, why would you expect your audience to accept a tacked-on happy ending? Your audience has been primed to mistrust that, to wait for the other shoe to drop. Knowing that it’s the ending doesn’t shift the subjective feeling of anxiety and nervousness at the happiness that’s reared its head. 

This is why television series finales are so often so incredibly unsatisfying. Television series are very long-form angsty narratives. Because of the rules of television storytelling, no one is happy for anything more than a few breaths at a time, because more story must quickly be flung at them to keep the viewer engaged. Television writers tend to keep telling their angsty narrative up until the final five minutes of the whole show, and then they’ll slam a happy ending in there and be like, “Ta-da! They lived happily every after!” 

But the thing is: You don’t feel that, and no wonder, because they never lived happily ever after before, so why should they live happily ever after now? I sometimes see people disdain happy endings as feeling fake or contrived, but this is often what the problem is: the writer not recognizing the Golden Ratio that governs how persuasive a happy ending is to the audience. A five-minute happy ending does feel fake and contrived, and then that gets understood somehow as “all happy endings are fake and contrived,” instead of recognizing that a happy ending is actually really hard to write correctly, not that happy endings are intrinsically bad forms of storytelling. 

So. Golden Ratio theory. You know who violates this theory? Hallmark Christmas movies. You know how the couple never kisses until the last scene? You know how you never leave a Hallmark Christmas movie really shipping the couple? How could you? You know nothing about how they function as a couple. I have nothing against Hallmark Christmas movies – we watch a lot of them – but the happy ending of a romantic story is usually not the first kiss, or the moment when they get together. Think about Bridget Jones’s Diary, which is a book and movie I truly love, but like, hahaha, at the end of either, did you have great confidence that Bridget wasn’t going to mess everything up with Mark????? 

Now, some stories are perfectly fine with a quick happy ending because there hasn’t been much angst beforehand, because you’ve already laid the foundation for the happy ending so thoroughly that it makes sense to the audience. I feel like maybe Pride & Prejudice is a story that ends fairly quickly after they get together but there is so much carefully laid-out character development that I think convinces you Elizabeth and Darcy will be okay (as opposed to Bridget Jones, which, although retelling P&P, is also telling a very different story). 

I think about a story like, say, “You’re the Culmination of Everything I’ve Never Had.” I could have ended that story when Patrick shows up and sings “Deep Blue Love” to Pete. But they’d been through so much that I think it would have felt unsatisfying. How did you really know that they wouldn’t find more incredibly harsh words to shout at each other? So everything after that I considered fulfillment of the Golden Ratio: You needed to see them in a cozy Chicago apartment writing music together, you needed to see Pete cuddling a small, dark-haired boy. And then you hit the end and you’re hopefully smiling, thinking, They’ll be totally okay. 

I am biased, because I love to write the Golden Ratio bits. That coda to “Culmination” is my favorite part of the whole fic. But I think also that those bits mean more than might be realized during first-read. Whenever I walk away from a story feeling dissatisfied, even though it had a theoretically happy ending, the problem is almost always one of Golden Ratio. And luckily, that is something many of us are primed to correct in fandom. Why so much curtainfic? We’re constantly trying to Golden-Ratio happiness out of our angsty canons. Sometimes, it takes hundreds of thousands of words to make you think, Okay, they’ll make it. And then you’re ready to hear The End. 

lately ive been getting really good tumblr ads

redwinterroses:

I need to make a list of the fics I’ve read in the past week or so that have absolutely hooked my brain.

List Of Fics I’ve Read in the Past Week Or So That Have Absolutely Hooked My Brain

Monsters Splitting Hairsby Silverskye13: a fantasy AU where Ren, Doc, and Gem all live on a farm outside of town, a mysterious Baron rules from an anonymous distance, Scar and Cub are terrifyingly Vex, and the echoes of a war no one will really tell newcomer-Ren about leave everything rather tense and everyone terrified of monsters… and Ren is one of those monsters. AMAZING fantasy setting, lots of original world exploration, Etho is a mysterious-but-friendly silent neighbor in the woods, Gem is absolutely on point and Doc has an entire herd of goats that are his pride and joy. I am in love with this fic you have no idea.

Venom In Your Blood by paranoid_pug: Grian and Xisuma head off-world for a bit to do a bit of shopping and are followed home by an unsavory character who proceeds to attack the hermits in the one place they should be safe… and threatens to make them a danger to the ones they love. Short version: vampire!Mumbo and what came of it. AMAZING concepts of server/worlds, game mechanics, and how streaming+chat would work in a Minecraft-but-real universe. Also Mumbo angst is always a soft spot for me. Highly rec.

theStill The Echoes Give Us Lightseries by doctortrekkie: what prompted this post in the first place (the other two just still had tabs open on my desktop so they got linked first lol) – a Grian-centric series with a LOT of Pearl and Mumbo content tracing Grian’s journey from Evo to the Watchers to on the run to Hermitcraft. Tons of fantastic worldbuilding that I’m just accepting as canon at this point, angst but tastefully done, characters actually feel like themselves, and it’s a LOT of content so I have been feasting. I dread the moment that I get to the end of currently updated fic and have to wait for more.

Shells in the Foam by Cedarwhisp21: if you’d told me I could get so invested in a hermit!Tommy fic I would have laughed at you. But. Somehow? I did. Partly because it’s just very well written, tbh. Set in Hermitcraft s7, Tommy flees Dream and somehow falls through the worlds and crash-lands in Hermit territories. Queue the inevitable “incredibly traumatized kid gets taken in by kind hermits” but the characters are largely written in such a developed way that it manages to steer clear of most of the cliche-ness of the trope. Reminded me a bit of The Red Sun Never Sets in how repetitively psychological-whump-y it got sometimes, but overall I really enjoyed this fic. I’m hoping the author posts the final chapter soon. Oh yeah, also MCC and Evo are canon to this and there’s some really cool stuff with avians and player code and… at this point you should realize that Red is an absolute sucker for worldbuilding stuff in fics.

Red Thread by ShadeSwift99: and with that last comment you will not be surprised that my biggest “look at the shiny!” comment for this fic is worldbuilding. Basically, what if Mumbo was a demon, and only Xisuma knew. But Grian… found out. And was a leeeeeeetle bit wrong in his assumptions, thinking that Mumbo was a demon hunter, like False. And when Grian tells False about this… False realizes that she’s somehow missed a horrific monster living right under her nose for years – and what did he do to the real Mumbo. Think Illuminae Files for the structure of this one, lots of internal memos and glimpses into server logs and redacted research papers and such interspersed with the more narrative chapters. SO GOOD and I am eagerly awaiting the next update because I Have Questions.

Y'all know I’m a big fan of the Kaleidoscope series by Exposition_Fairy, and there are two new(ish, I’m slightly behind the times) fics in that AU that are soooo good:
screaming at the sun you throw into by lunarblazes: Grian’s trying to figure out exactly how “becoming a god” works in the aftermath of the Green God’s defeat, and things are not going well. Doc (god of order) notices and misunderstands what’s happening – and he and Ren try to stop Grian. Permanently. Explains the in-universe lead-up to 100 Hours Hardcore.
stretching the truth out of shape, by BananasofThorns: the in-universe origins of Horse Head Farms, featuring my all-time-favorite interpretations of retired-sea-god xBCrafted and “immortal magician and who knows what else” Hypnotized, who don’t… technically remember how they met. It’s been a while, okay? Like. A few millennia or months at least.

autoclaveby Bunflower and wolfythewitch: what? more dsmp? in my hermitcraft blog? it’s more likely than you think. This one is Treasure Planet meets Scott Westerfield’s Leviathanwhere Tommy is a street racer, Wilbur is the governor’s (Kristin’s) son and Techno is her bodyguard, and Philza is dead because his mad scientist self got their floating city to fly and then caused an explosion that killed a bunch of people. He was exiled to the terrifying surface world for his crimes… but before he could be forced to leave, he vanished, and his shattered glider was seen smashed to kindling on the surface below. But. Of course. That’s hardly a story, is it – what is a story is Wilbur chasing a shadowy figure through the underbelly of the floating city, Techno trying to prove his friend’s innocence even after his death, and Tommy trying to hold on to the reputation of “best racer” in the city. I almost hesitate to rec this one because it’s been a month since the last upload, and I’m just REALLY hoping that it won’t get dropped, but Bunflower and wolfythewitch are both amazing writers so I’m trusting and crossing my fingers.

all my soul within me burning by Cloverponyz: this fic takes a bunch of things I love (winged!Philza, watcher!Grian, expansive worldbuilding, and AU canon) and smashes them into one – what if Phil was a watcher? What if Grian helped him escape for reasons that may or may not be altruistic? What if the Watchers were like, this massive and complex society that I’m definitely not brainrotting over because that is SO much more interesting to me than “a few lone creeps scuttling about the edges of reality”? This one currently only has one chapter, but it also just started, so now’s probably a good time to get in on it and subscribe.

Okay – that’s enough for now, I think. XD Friendly reminder to kudos and comment if you read any of these or else I’ll haunt your microwave and your food will never heat evenly again. Enjoy!

psyducked:

Pokemon Blue was my first video game ever and I still have some painful memories.

When you first start the game I had no idea that to exit the house you have to stand on the darker patch of ground (which I later learned was a doormat) and press down because I assumed that would mean walking into a wall. Two hours later, I finally exited and found the lab and Oak was not there, so I left and explored the town then went back and he still wasn’t there, so I left my character sitting in the lab waiting for him to return and I’d sometimes run back home but only quickly for fear of missing the professor, and it took 5 hours for me to try leaving the town. I hadn’t acquired Flash before Rock Tunnel so I navigated the entire thing in pitch black (and back then you didn’t even have a circle of light). I got so comfortable with the slow pace that when I got the bike and zoomed forward I got so scared that I never used the bike again. It took me months to get into Saffron because I never thought to get something from the vending machine for the security guard to drink so I wandered around for ages trying to find things to do—I’d even wait just before his line of sight to see if he’d turn away. I used only one Pokemon to fight (my starter Bulbasaur) for the entire game so I beat the league with a level 80-something Venusaur and only used Razor Leaf every single time and when that ran out I used leech seed + solar beam. I used my Master Ball on a Snorlax because it took me so long to get passed his blockade (recall how long it took me to get through Rock Runnel) and I thought he was the ultimate Pokemon.

This was absolutely me when I saw six with my first Pokemon Red. I knew nothing of Pokemon prior to the game and I literally only picked it up at a garage sale because it had a dragon on it.
The doormat thing had me stumped for a few minutes, and the only reason I left town as quickly as I did was because I came to A Very Serious Decision that  was going to be a rebel. I assumed by not waiting around long enough for Oak to introduce himself that I could charge ahead and be labeled as a rebellious trainer and be a lot cooler in-game. I also assumed I could just catch my first Pokemon as I had no idea starters were a thing. I assumed something as cool as Charizard was just going to be a special boss later in the game.

Once I got that squared away, though, and spent about a day and half lost in Viridian because I didn’t know how to return Oak’s parcel, you know what absolutely scarred me for life?

Viridian freaking Forest.

There were no steps leading out of it and no doormat to mark the exit, so the only exit I knew of was the southern one back to Viridian City. The northern exit was just a black wall with a sign in front of it with some kind of trainer tip that had nothing to do with getting out.
I legit spent a week in that forest.
Every day I’d try interacting with a different bunch of trees and defeated trainers and see if something had changed to let me escape the horrible forest all the NPCs kept warning me was a giant maze. Every day I’d fail and have to save among the trees in defeat.
Eventually I forgot how to head south.
I got confused in the little wiggly path on the northernmost end of the forest near the exit that eluded me for so long, and I thought I was going in actual circles because all of the up and down paths looked alike in Red and Blue.

I was trapped.

I spent another two days in that horrifying loop alone and I just cried over my Gameboy every minute of it because all I could think of was that all of my Pokemon were going to die in the forest and it would be my fault.
I also had no concept of stat modifiers being temporary in battle- I started crying at another point because all the bugs (naturally) kept using string shot and I thought the lowered speed stats were permanent. I remember actually going to my mom in tears because my Pokemon were going to be so slow by the time I finally got away from the bugs. I’d have to replace them all and they’d never be useful again. It took another several months before I noticed the stat pages didn’t actually change.

And the music.

To this day the Viridian Forest music from gen I makes me want to cry. Other kids were scared of Lavender Town, but I was scared of Viridian Forest. I had nightmares about Viridian Forest. You could torment me by just playing the Viridian Forest theme and I would dissolve into tears and beg you to stop.
I had to play with the volume off because the music made me so incredibly upset.

Finally, after nearly two weeks of being stuck in that horrible forest (only finding my way back to Viridian City for a heal because my Pokemon used Struggle until they all fainted and I blacked out), I went up to the dead end in the forest and started jamming the A button. I was so upset and scared and worried about my Pokemon that I was going to jam that A button at the black wall until the game did something or my Gameboy broke. I just wanted to move on and get my Pokemon healed at a new city and maybe go shopping like the nice lady with the mean grandpa.

And then, by some miracle- some glorious miracle- I accidentally hit the ‘up’ button.
The black screen scared me to death for a split second because I knew if I had actually broken the game I’d never be allowed a replacement, but then I realized I had stepped through the exit.

I was out of the forest in a totally new gate building with totally new NPCs and I remember cranking the volume back up just to hear the glorious sound of my triumph.

I cried the entire way to Pewter and vowed to never go back in the forest again.

I never did, I was terrified of it and legitimately never went through that forest again until I got Yellow a year later.

I then proceeded to challenge Brock with a level 9 Charmander, a level 7 Metapod (that only knew Harden), a level 6 Kakuna, and a level 5 Pidgey. I had no potions left after the forest and lost spectacularly.
I immediately challenged him again with zero leveling up and lost again.
I lost to him about a dozen times and realized I was never going to get past this city with my weak Pokemon and panicked because I had survived the forest of death and torment and more death only to end up at this weird new city that I couldn’t pass.

It felt like it took an eternity, but ultimately it was probably a week or so later I finally defeated Brock with a level 17 Charmeleon that solo’d the entire battle (I hadn’t trained anyone else) and somehow managed to come out on top.

The rest of the game was spent just leveling up my Charmeleon because I thought we could win against anything if we just had enough ~friendship.~

Misty was a nightmare.
I don’t even remember how long I was stuck on her because Charmeleon was the only one I had at a high level and I didn’t know that the local Oddish would be strong against her if I took the time to train them a little.

I do remember getting the bike, though, and insisting on riding it everywhere and running into everything. Just everything. People. Buildings. For some reason it moved too fast for me to control.
But the music was so upbeat.

And Lt. Surge, the first gym leader I wasn’t at a disadvantage against? Yeah, Charmeleon evolved into Charizard literally the battle right before him.
Guess who got downed by Thundershock over and over and over again because she didn’t know electric types were strong against a Charizard?

Me.

That’s why whenever I see how they’re making the new games easier and more user-friendly and simpler for kids to understand I can only be grateful that the next generation isn’t going to have to suffer through what I did. It might make fond memories (like pep-talking to my Charmander’s stat screen as if it would help us not get beaten to a pulp for the tenth time) but my gosh I would not wish that on any unknowing child. If they want a challenge and want to go in blind, that’s one thing.

But generation one was merciless and unforgiving and mildly traumatizing.

I am privileged, I know, but does this make me despicable?

I grew up in a house with a garden

My parents are married for more than 25 years and still happy

My family sticks together

There has been only one divorce in the two generations before me

I had a good education

I have seen several countries

I am working for a college diploma in a country where education is payable

I live in a nice appartement

I am white

I have a pretty face

I am not fat and not too slim with generous curves

I earn enough money to keep on living a nice modest life

I have people I can go out with to party from time to time

I have a few select friends I can trust and a good connection with my parents

I should be happy, shouldn’t I, are you already feeling the jealousy

Still I have suffered from complexes all my life

Still I have been bullied the majority of my school life

Still I have never really fit in either with my family or my peers

Still I had depression on and off since my early teenage years

Still I am looking for a proper job without finding one

Still I am struggling with studying

Still I never measured up to the expectations of my family and myself

Still my older brother never accepted me

Still I was abused by my partners

Still I am fighting unti to break free from the conservative views and rules I was raised with

Do I need to be sorry for having what many don’t? Do I have to hide my problems because I had at least better chances? Shouldn’t I complain about what troubles me, because it’s ungrateful?

Well sorry, I won’t. I won’t be sorry, I won’t hide away, I am not a martyr who puts everyone elses trouble before mine all of the time.

Yes, I am priviledged, but I don’t own the modesty to apologize for it.

caffeinewitchcraft:

 Summary: Being the Chosen One fucking sucks. That’s why Erika is furious when she finds out her brother got picked.

——–.

I find out my parents let the wizards take Ben an hour after I get home for spring break.

“You have to understand, Erika,” my mother says tearfully, “there was a prophecy! What were we supposed to do?”

“You were supposed to stop a group of ancient wizards from dragging off my fourteen-year-old brother to die,” I snarl at her. I dump out my small suitcase on the bed and leave it face open on the floor. I throw open my closet and start tearing all of the hanging things out of my way. “Or, I don’t know, maybe call me?”

“Don’t talk to your mother like that,” my father says. He’d be a lot more convincing if he stopped hovering around the doorway and avoiding my glare. He tucks his terrycloth bathrobe around himself. “You know what they’re like. We couldn’t say no.”

“That excuse is a little tired, Dad.” I flip the latch of the secret compartment at the back of my closet. It swings open to reveal my collection of swords. My mother gasps, but I’m too mad to point out that she knew I kept the weapons, just not where. “I let you use it when it happened to me because I expected you to never fail your children quite so spectacularly again.”

“We’re just normal people, Erika,” Mom wails. She’s dressed in overalls and has smears of dirt from ankle to knee. “We couldn’t stop them! We’re just as upset as you!”

“Are you?” I whirl around, three swords under one arm and a crossbow in my free hand. “Is that why Dad smells like a lavender bath bomb and you’ve been gardening all morning? Because you’re upset?”

“Yes,” Mom says.

“No,” Dad says.

They exchange quick, guilty looks.

“No,” Mom says.

“Yes,” Dad says.

Keep reading

sakudrew:

First encounter

Part 2 of Brandon and Xander’s first encounter

AN: Alright guys! A little nervous about posting this one as it is my first venture into writing for Detroit: Become Human and more specifically for Connor RK800. So, I hope it is decent I hope I did the prompt justice and I pray that you all enjoy it! The prompt came from my lovely buddy @harleycurlyq who specifically asked for a reader who works in DPD, is Pro-android, defends Connor against Gavin “Fukh” Reed* and develops feelings for said android. But a whole lot of angst was requested. So.. Warning? Angst ahead and slight language! The timeline in this diverges from cannon… it’s stretched to fit into a few weeks rather than a few days. Some of the dialogue was taken from or based off the game the rest I tried to keep original. Disclaimer: I don’t own Detroit: Become Human or its characters!

*Seriously who says f**k that way

Word Count: 6k+… what is wrong with me?

Part 2

To say that the last few weeks of your life had been interesting would be the understatement of the century but truthfully you felt as if the entire world had been tumbling toward madness for years. The increase in android production and dependence had skyrocketed but that also lead the way for negative effects. With so many androids in production and Cyberlife’s constant need to one up itself they were continuously creating more advanced models that statistically speaking were more capable of filling certain jobs; with less room for human error. That ideal bled into an over the top unemployment rate amongst humans and political tensions on multiple facets of the world. The vast majority of humanity held such disdain for Cyberlife’s androids as a result treating them like garbage despite their obvious dependency on the AI. You could understand why humanity felt such a duality of emotions in regards to androids; it was after all your job to understand such things. Nevertheless, you found the lack of respect for androids and their general mistreatment deplorable.

You were something of an oddity amongst your co-workers at the Detroit Police Department, you regarded every android that you met with kindness and courtesy going so far as to refer to them by name. You generally ignored the occasional whisper or sneer behind your back from your co-workers. Choosing to believe that the androids you lived amongst were entirely you equals despite their obvious biological differences. As you were making your way back to your desk you couldn’t help but smile at the sight that quickly came into view. The newest addition to the DPD force and Cyberlife’s most advanced model to date RK800, or as you all referred to him, Connor was standing in front of your good friend Lieutenant Hank Anderson. Hank’s head was in his hands as Connor stared down at him in confusion, head cocked slightly to the left, you couldn’t help but laugh, “All right what exactly happened this time gentlemen?”

Connor immediately turned to you with a beaming smile that set off butterflies in your stomach, “Hello, Detective L/N! I was just going over our last case but Lieutenant Anderson still seems troubled over it.”

You smiled and looked over at Hank, “Okay, hit me… what was it this time, Hank?”

The man in question lifted his head up from his palms and simply said, “Pigeon shit. He put actual pigeon shit into his mouth.”

Connor piped up in his lovable matter-of-fact tone, “I was simply taking a sample of the deviant’s blood, Lieutenant. The fact that some of the excrement made its way into the sample didn’t hinder my ability to process the thirium.”

You puckered your lips and scrunched your nose at the idea, “Regardless, Connor that is still a little off-putting for most humans. Maybe use a little more discretion when you take samples next time? Especially, if they’re-contaminated.”

Not hearing an immediate response, you looked up at Connor and saw him regarding you with an almost fond look, “My apologies, Y/N. I’ll try to be more ‘discreet’ in my future analyses. If you’ll both excuse me I need to fill out a report and inform Cyberlife of what happened today.”

As he left you turned back toward Hank and put a hand on his desk, “I know that’s not the only thing that’s bothering you. I wasn’t called in to determine any causes of death… So, what happened out there?”

Hank slumped back into his chair and stared off into the distance, “He saved me. I was chasing after that damn deviant and he knocked me over the edge of the roof… instead of catching the bastard; Connor chose to save me. He let the deviant go to help me.”

That did catch you off guard, since he first came to the DPD Connor had been saying that he was nothing, but an android sent by Cyberlife to accomplish a mission and that he regularly checked himself for signs of deviancy. But this wasn’t the first time that Connor had let an Android go whether it was to save Hank or someone else from further harm. You pondered what you had just heard briefly, “So, you think he’s becoming a deviant?”

The man beside you looked up, “I don’t know. What else would you call it? He keeps spouting off that he can’t become a deviant or jeopardize his mission but then he goes and does shit like that.”

You sighed gently, maybe it was true you had observed multiple occasions that Connor had made decisions that would directly conflict with his specific programming, but he always seemed so dead set against admitting any kind of emotion. Your work at the DPD was not only that of a detective but of a Forensic Anthropologist and Psychologist; not only did criminology fall under your expertise but discerning the inner workings of the body and mind took a forefront as well. With more and more deviant android cases popping up your skills came in handy and as such you we’re often assigned to the same cases as Connor and Hank. The deviants that you had sat down and spoken with surprised you in just how much humanity they displayed. It only solidified your beliefs that androids were not in fact lesser beings but humanity’s equals in every way. Nonetheless, Connor’s actions hadn’t been as brash as the deviant’s you had encountered, and you weren’t sure you could put a label on his behavior quite yet. Instead you offered Hank a gentle smile, “Hey, we can’t say anything for sure, but we’ll look out for him. Alright? Now you look exhausted… maybe you should get some rest while things are quiet.”

Hank sighed but offered a tired smile, “Yeah, maybe you’re right. Listen don’t work yourself too hard, kiddo. Take your own advice and take it easy now and then.”

Watching him lumber out of his seat he patted your shoulder solemnly and you couldn’t fight a wave of sadness at your friend’s dilemma, “And Hank? If you need anything, anything at all, just call me, okay?” He only waved over his shoulder causing you to sigh; with his troubled past you couldn’t help but worry about his well-being. Although, it was getting later into the evening you still had a report to type up before you could call it an night. Yet after your previous conversation you couldn’t help but look over to where Connor had disappeared feeling your heartbeat pick up as you headed toward your own desk.

——

Two reports down and you decided that you seriously needed a cup of coffee to make it through any more of your case files. Looking over toward Hank’s desk you noticed that he still hadn’t come in yet and you were growing increasingly worried. You had already left him two messages, but he hadn’t called you back yet. You reasoned that if in thirty more minutes he still didn’t reply then you were going to check up on him. You were also slightly crestfallen that you hadn’t seen Connor yet today. However, you hoped that if you hadn’t seen either of them yet then they were probably off working another one of their cases. The department’s communal kitchen came into view and you couldn’t stop the smile as you recognized a certain handsome android standing in the doorway. Wait, Handsome? You blushed at your own thoughts. Where the hell had that come from?

You stopped short when you heard a familiar voice shouting at your friend. Of course, Gavin couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He was the biggest anti-android member on the force and he couldn’t help but make Connor’s job that much more difficult. You quickened your pace as his voice got louder, “Hey, I’m talking to you. You plastic prick!” You caught sight of Gavin shoving Connor backwards, “When a human gives you an order… you obey.”

You quickly grabbed the hood of Reed’s coat and yanked him backwards away from Connor, nearly knocking the man off his feet, but he managed to catch himself and stagger backwards. “That’s enough, Reed. Leave him alone.”

The stupid smirk that crossed his face was begging to be smacked clean off, “Awww… lucky you, Connor. Looks like you’re knight in shining armor came just in time. Come to save your little boyfriend, L/N?”

Livid at the outburst you glared at Gavin, “Why don’t you do us all a favor and keep your mouth shut, Reed. What exactly has Connor done to you?”

His lips curled into a grimace, “This prick just rolls into the DPD and decides that he can try to replace us? Put us all out of a job?” He scoffed eying the android beside you, “Fat lot of good he is at his job his last two cases slipped right past him. If you ask me, he belongs with the rest of the plastic garbage out there… taking and obeying orders. Not trying to act like a cop. If it were up to me I’d have put this piece of trash out of commission on day one.”

You could feel Connor staring at you and moving in closer but your attention was focused on Gavin, “Listen to me, Reed, and listen carefully… Connor is not a piece of plastic he’s a part of this department. As far as I’m concerned, his track record is a lot better than yours. Now walk away before I recommend you for a psych evaluation and have you benched.”

Gavin took another step forward, “What the fuck gives you the right?”

Not backing down you stepped closer, “Listen, it doesn’t look good when an officer starts pulling guns in the middle of interrogations and openly makes threats to fellow detectives; human and android alike. Now either you calm down or I will recommend you for suspension because I do have that authority.”

Deciding to turn and make sure Connor was okay you noticed Gavin making a move, forming a fist, you were braced for the impact but it didn’t come. You looked up and noticed that Connor had gripped Gavin’s fist and twisted his arm backing shielding you from the blow, his LED blinking yellow rapidly, “Detective L/N told, you to leave and it would be in your best interest to heed that warning.” Connor let go, sending Gavin to the floor with a grunt before he picked himself up and stormed away. Connor tilted his head and looked you over from head to toe his LED still blinking, “Are you okay, Y/N?”

Your heart was practically pounding out of your chest, “Yeah I’m fine… I can’t believe Reed! Wait, are you okay? Did he hurt you in any way?”

He looked almost amused a goofy grin spreading across his face, “I assure you I’m fine, Y/N. I am unable to feel pain at any rate it would not have mattered if Detective Reed had become violent. But why did you intervene, Y/N?”

You felt a blush creeping up the back of your neck, staring into his big curious eyes, “I didn’t appreciate the way that Reed was talking to you. He thinks he’s superior because he’s a human and you’re-“

“An android?” He finished without hesitation, “It’s hardly a new reaction, Y/N. I’m quite accustomed to humans being hostile toward me. Except for you and now Lieutenant Anderson, of course.”

Shaking your head, you tried again, “You shouldn’t have to get used to that kind of behavior, Connor. You’re a part of this department and you deserve the same amount of respect that any human officer here receives.” Again his LED Began to slowly turn and blink yellow as he continued to stare at you, you began to squirm under his intense gaze, “What’s wrong? Are you sure you’re alright, Connor?”

Blinking a few times, he shook his head, “Yes. I’m just not used to someone who is so open and sympathetic to Androids. It’s not a common trait shared by humanity.” He shuffled a little awkwardly before it seemed like an idea popped into his head, “Have you seen Lieutenant Anderson yet, Y/N? We have a case to look into but I can’t seem to locate him.”

That brought you back to your earlier predicament, “No, actually I was looking for him earlier. I’ve called him a few times but he hasn’t responded. I was going to look for him after I finished my report. And then Reed happened-“

“L/N! I need to see you in my office now.” You turned with a sigh to find Captain Fowler leaning out of his door, “Come on, L/N, it’s urgent.”

You groaned before turning back to Connor, “That doesn’t sound like it’s going to be resolved quickly. Look, Connor can you do something for me? Can you go to Hank’s house and check on him? Please let me know if he’s alright and then you two can look into your case.”

You quickly scribbled Hank’s address onto a napkin passing it into Connor’s waiting hand, “Of course, Y/N. It would be my pleasure.” You quickly smiled and gave his hand a gentle squeeze before disappearing into Fowler’s office.

———-

Things had only escalated with the growing number of deviants and the state of Detroit was completely on edge. The deviants were now organizing themselves and in a recent turn of events they had taken over a local news broadcasting center and put their intentions out there for the world or rather humans to see. It was hard not to be sympathetic to their cause up until this point all of the deviants that you had encountered had been mistreated and physically abused. You couldn’t say that you stood against them on their quest. Unfortunately, you had been called to the scene because there had been a murder. A human murder that would surely dampen some of the respect that the androids could have rallied to their cause.

At this point the DPD weren’t the only ones involved. Suddenly the crime scene was flooded with FBI agents led by an uptight pencil pusher named Perkins that had barely been on the scene for five minutes and wanted to flush The DPD out completely before finally conceding. Allowing everyone to get to work under a particularly watchful eye. You had set up your equipment near the victim and got to work. Only ten minutes into your own investigations and you heard the elevator ding and reveal the two people that you had been secretly waiting on. Connor and Hank stepped off the elevator and made a beeline for you.

You offered a grim smile as Hank approached, “Jesus, it’s a fucking circus in here what the hell is going on?”

Standing up to face them you pulled off your gloves, “Well hello to you too. The FBI showed up not long ago and wanted to kick us all out. You know stating they would handle it from here but we’re stubborn. I got clearance to start my work just before you two arrived.”

Connor looked at you, “What have you found so far, Y/N? How many were killed?”

You heaved a heavy sigh, “Just one victim, a human male in his mid-thirties. So far, I’ve only had time to discern that he died minutes before the broadcast went live. From the trajectory it’s clear that he was shot while he was trying to get away, poor man. There were also two unconscious guards but they’re already starting to come around. I’m sure Chris will have more for you guys I have to finish up here with evidence, get a victim ID, get statements from the guards, and then get our victim out of here. If you need anything just ask and be careful you two.”

Hank gave you a signature pat on the back before walking off to find Chris while Connor lingered behind. He opened his mouth to say something but seemed to change his mind at the last minute instead giving you a sweet crooked smile. You ignored the somersault that your stomach did and went right back to work. It was about fifteen minutes later when you had everything that you needed in the way of physical evidence and a successful recreation of the murder. You just needed a few more pictures of the crime scene. As you went to grab your camera from your bag you noticed an android walking down the hall toward the elevator which immediately set off alarm bells. The only three androids working this floor were told to wait in the kitchen.

You were about to open your mouth but Connor’s strained voice caught everyone’s attention, “Stop it! It’s a deviant!” You looked back at Connor only for a moment before watching in horror as the deviant android reached for an officer’s gun. In a panic, you reached down to your thigh for your firearm, but it was gone. Before you knew it, you were pushed down to the floor and your gun was ripped from your holster; a strong body pressed against your back shielding you as three shots were fired in quick succession.

You looked over your shoulder and saw that it was of course Connor that was shielding you from harm and he had efficiently taken the deviant down. Then you noticed that his shirt was ripped open and his chest and hand were covered in blood. Your heart was hammering in fear as you quickly searched for the wound, “Oh my god, Connor! What happened, you’re bleeding. Come- come on we need to get you help!”

Surprisingly Connor dropped the gun and clasped your face in his hand, “Calm down, Y/N. I’m fine.” His LED began blinking as he looked you over, scanning you, “Are you, ok? You appear unharmed.”

He was still holding your face and it was doing nothing to help calm your heart down, “Yeah. Yeah, of course I’m okay. You saved my life! You saved everyone’s life…”

Hank rushed over to check on the both of you and quickly after that whisked Connor away to get patched up; which you were grateful for. After that everything was a blur of calming yourself and everyone else down and taking in the new evidence, as well as transporting the victims’ bodies. You were relieved when you finally got to leave Stratford Tower and return to the DPD.

Staring down at your data pad going over your report of today’s events you couldn’t help but rub your eyes tiredly. The screech of a chair being pulled up next to you nearly gave you a heart attack, until you noticed the culprit, “Jeez, Hank what is it? After today I really don’t need any more surprises.”

He just looked at you and fiddled with his fingers, “I need you to do me a really big favor, Y/N. One I know you’re not going to like.”

Cautiously you lowered your hands back onto your desk, “I don’t like your tone, Hank. What kind of favor?”

Hank started rambling, “After today I realized how out of hand this Deviant situation is getting and I’m starting to really worry about Connor. Kid’s still clinging to his programming but it seems to me that he’s changing more with every investigation. He needs our help.”

You sighed but nodded at what he was saying, “I agree, Hank. Yet you still haven’t told me what the favor is.”

He exhaled and remained pensive for a moment, “I need you to set up a meeting with Elijah Kamski.” And at the mention of that name your entire body went rigid.

———

You yanked at the hood of your jacket trying in vain to shield yourself from the bitter snowfall. It figures that Hank would be late even though he was the one to suggest this meeting; going against your vehement objections to the entire idea. However, you couldn’t truly blame him. With the revolution growing stronger each day you were all grasping at straws. Although, at this point you weren’t sure if Hank was doing this for the sake of the Department and humanity or if it was all for Connor. It was getting difficult to deny that like his partner you would do just about anything for the android. For him, you would invite the ghosts of your past back into your life with open arms if it would offer him the slightest relief. The sound of a car horn pulled you from your thoughts, you turned to find Hank’s beat up car pulling up beside your own. You offered a small wave and the brightest smile you could muster as you watched both Hank and Connor step out of the car.

Hank was the first to reach you and he threw a surprisingly affectionate arm around your shoulder, “Thanks for doing this, Y/N. I know it probably wasn’t the easiest thing for you to bring yourself here.”

You patted his hand and shrugged your shoulders, “It’s fine, Hank. I know how dire the situation is getting and believe me I want to help in any way that I can. If there’s any way to put an end to this without spilling anymore blood, then I’ll do whatever it takes.” You spared a glance at Connor, who regarded you with an inquisitive tilt of his head, “For all of us. Anyway, I heard about what happened last night. How are you holding up? Have you heard anything about the officers involved?”

Connor continued to glance at you, the faint glimmer of concern lacing his features, before turning to Hank, “Is everything okay, Lieutenant?”

Hank gave a quick nod of his head, “When Chris was on patrol last night he got attacked by a bunch of deviants. He was saved by Markus himself.”

You silently marveled at the exchange noting that Connor’s LED barely flashed before he fired out a response, “Is Chris, ok?” You had watched Connor change slowly over time, case by case, but was it truly possible? Was he becoming a deviant? Learning to feel true human emotions.

Admittedly the thought made your heart race a little, but you tried to focus on Hank and what he was saying, “Yeah he’s fine just in shock but he’s alive.”

You felt the familiar sensation of a certain set of eyes on you and you turned to see Connor once again focusing on you and you caught the yellow glow of his LED from your peripheral. Shit. Was he scanning you? Connor’s smirk shamefully caused a tinge of heat to rush toward your nearly frozen cheeks. “Y/N, I wasn’t aware that you would be joining us in this particular investigation.”

You offered up a soft smile, “Well, this was Hank’s idea, but he just needed a little help getting through the door. Although, I’ll admit that this isn’t a meeting I thought I would ever be arranging.”

You turned on your heel and began your trek through the piling snow up toward the front door with Hank and Connor following closely behind. From over your shoulder you heard Connor call out, “Why meet with Kamski, now? He resigned from Cyberlife a decade ago.”

Hank let out a short chuckle, “He created the first android to pass the Turing Test and founded Cyberlife. If anyone knows anything about deviants it’s gotta be him.”

You sighed as you raised your hand toward the door. With great hesitation you finally forced yourself to ring the doorbell, “I’m sure you’re right, Hank… but just be on your guard around Elijah. He can be unpredictable, and his information usually comes with a price.”

“Elijah?” You looked over your shoulder to see a confused Connor once again tilting his head at you, “You seem to be very familiar with Mr. Kamski? Was it because you both attended the same University? Perhaps not at the same time… there is quite a gap in your recorded dates of birth.”

Now you turned to face Connor fully, “How did you- never mind.” Of course, he would have snuffed that out. You’re hyperaware that he’s been scanning you since you met but how far did he go? And why? “Our families knew each other long before Elijah and I attended University. Our parents practically pushed us together at every opportunity. I’m certain they’re all still disappointed that I didn’t follow Elijah all the way to Cyberlife.”

Hank patted you on the back, “You wanted to have your own life and shit if you didn’t make one helluva name for yourself, kid. I’ve never heard of anyone graduating that young, and with that many degrees; not even Kamski.”

Connor opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the female android that opened the large front door. You recognized her as Chloe, one of the first android models that Kamski created during his time at Cyberlife. She glanced over your face and offered a gentle grin, “Ms. L/N it’s a pleasure to see you. Please wait inside and make yourself comfortable. I’ll let Elijah know that you’ve arrived.”

You offered your quiet gratitude and stepped inside the thankfully warm house. Connor and Hank started chattering behind you, but you tuned them out in favor of examining the room before you. Elijah certainly spared no expense in decorating his home. Especially with the obnoxiously large portrait of himself taking center stage although if you had to guess the portrait probably wasn’t quite large enough for his liking. Soon enough a piece of Hank and Connor’s conversation caught your attention. “So, you’re about to meet your maker, Connor. How does it feel?”

You made your way over toward where Hank was sitting not before exchanging a curious glance with Connor as you passed, “I’m not sure. I’ll let you know when I see him.”

Hank stared down at his shoes, “Sometimes I wish I could meet my creator face-to-face. I’d have a couple of things I’d want to tell him.”

You placed a gentle hand upon his shoulder, he gave it a firm pat along with a quick smirk. You didn’t need to exchange any words you knew exactly what he was thinking but knew him well enough to know that there was no proper consolation for his grief in that moment. Suddenly a door behind you slid open and Chloe stepped through, “Elijah will see you now.”

With a final squeeze of your hand Hank let go and got up quickly stepping through the opened door. You followed behind slowly still not entirely certain that you actually wanted to go through with this. Upon entering the room you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at the display in front of you. There wading in a modest sized pool were two more Chloe androids and a man swimming laps beside them in quick succession. For some reason you expected nothing less from Elijah and instead of paying him any mind you made a beeline toward the large open window in the left-hand corner of the room. You silently watched the snowfall as Hank called out to Elijah. You were so focused on the falling snow that you nearly jumped at the gentle hand placed at the small of your back, “-Y/N?”

You turned your head to find Connor on your right towering over you, but trying to meet your eyes, you met his curious brown gaze and felt his hand press more insistently to the small of your back. “I’m sorry… Did you say something, Connor?”

You caught a glimpse of the flickering yellow light on his temple once more, as you felt like your heart would explode beneath his concerned gaze. “I asked if you were alright. I can clearly sense your distress and your heartbeat suddenly became erratic.”

Looking down at the floor you tried to calm the burning sensation that threatened to claim your face, “I’m fine. Thank you for your concern. I guess- I’m just more nervous than I thought I would be.”

You looked up and took in the proximity of his features; the kind eyes and quirked lips that you hated to admit you have come to love. Admitting that to yourself scared the hell out of you but suddenly you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him and with the way he was silently observing you hoped he felt a similar pull. Was it such a stretch to imagine Connor was beginning to experience feelings?

An intrusive but familiar voice interrupted your thoughts, “Well, well… it’s been a long time hasn’t it, Y/N?”

You looked up and met Elijah’s listless gaze but noted the smirk that seemed almost warm, “Not long enough, ‘Lijah. You’ve kept yourself well hidden… I’ll give you that.”

He laughed and approached you, unimpressed you now noticed that he was only half dressed, but that didn’t stop the amusement from slipping into his tone, “Oh is that the only thing that’s impressed you? And not my technology that you seem to be thoroughly enjoying?” You followed his gaze down to where Connor’s hand was still pressed against your lower back. Attempting to hide your embarrassment you tried to put some distance between you and Connor, but he only regarded you with a curious look as he followed your movements. Hand still firmly on your back, almost protectively, Connor didn’t seem to catch the implications. “I offered you a spot by my side at Cyberlife, Y/N. We could have done remarkable things together… made quite the powerful team.”

Mustering up all of your courage you glared back at Elijah, “I had my own idea on how I wanted to live my life… ideas that were vastly different from how you viewed the world. I wanted to live a life where I could understand and help people, ‘Lijah. Not close myself off to them.”

Elijah’s smirk only grew as he glanced down at you, “You seem to be under the impression that my breakthroughs were designed to hurt humanity. On the contrary, everything I did was for the benefit of mankind; trust me. And how is that any different from what you do, Y/N? You spend your time picking apart the mind and reconstructing crime scenes… trying desperately to understand why things were set in motion. That’s not so different from what Cyberlife is now attempting.” His gaze again landed on the point where Connor’s hand connected with your back, “It seems you’ve had your own personal experiences with that.”

You went rigid and caught Hank suppressing a smirk at you and the android by your side before turning to Kamski, “Listen sir, we’re investigating Deviants and we were hoping that you could tell us something that we don’t already know.”

Elijah chuckled before looking at you and Connor, “Deviants are fascinating, aren’t they? Endowed with infinite intelligence and now they have the gift of free will. They’re superior to mankind in every way the conflict was inevitable. Humanity’s greatest achievement will be its downfall.”

You mean your greatest achievement. You moved away from the window and toward Hank with Connor now suddenly pushing ahead of you, “We have to know how androids are becoming deviant. Please, tell us anything that could help prevent this from spreading further. A- a way to deal with them.”

Elijah looked at the three of you with a smirk, “I suppose the idea of freedom could be seen as just another contagious virus spreading from android to android under the right circumstances.”

You sighed heavily, “Elijah, please just stop beating around the bush and tell them what it is they need to know.”

He completely ignored you and walked toward Connor, “What about you? Whose side are you on in all of this? Humanity or your fellow androids?”

Connor glanced between you and Hank, “I’m on the side of humanity, obviously.”

“Oh well done, Connor. Clinging desperately to your programing.” Kamski chuckled, “However, lets ignore your programming for a moment- what is it that you truly want? Think about it… ignore what you were created to say. What do you want.”

You looked over as Connor began blinking rapidly in time with his yellow LED. Quickly shaking it off e stood his ground, “It doesn’t matter what I want. It isn’t important what is important is completing my mission.”

Circling back toward his desk Kamski motioned for one of his androids and she came over kneeling don in front of the three of you. Elijah returned with a gun in hand and you were instantly on edge, “I’d like to try my own test. It’s meant to measure whether or not Androids can feel any empathy… I call it the Kamski test.” He quickly handed the gun over to Connor, “The big question is… what is an android? Is just a piece of plastic and wires imitating a human or do they truly have a soul?”

You took a step forward, “Elijah what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Your interruption was useless, Kamski was fixated on Connor now, “I think its time to answer that question right here and now, Connor. Destroy the machine in front of you and I’ll tell you everything I know or don’t and leave here without any information. It’s your choice.”

You desperately tried to get Connor’s attention, appalled at what was unfolding, “Connor don’t do it! We can find information some other way, I promise. Just drop the gun.” He looked over to you briefly before letting his attention fall back on the kneeling android.

Hank turned to leave, “C’mon, Connor… Y/n’s right. This is ridiculous we’ll find help some other way. Let’s just go.”

Kamski kept his gaze trained on Connor, “Think it through, Connor… What’s more important your mission or the life of just another machine? It’s time to find out who you truly are.” You watched in silent horror as Connor processed Kamski’s words; His LED going wild as he stood in silence.

In an instant the deafening crack of a gunshot went off and you screamed as you watched the now lifeless android slump forward. You gaped at the weapon in Connor’s hand, “No! Oh my god, Connor…. What did you do you do?”

Elijah turned to you with an unamused grin, “He chose, Y/N. He decided who he is. A machine following orders not the empathetic Deviant you were hoping for.” And just like that you were running out of the door back into the raging snowstorm. You were stumbling blindly through the snow toward the tree line with misty eyes for what seemed like ages before dropping to your knees. You didn’t know how long you had been there but you heard a noise behind you causing you to scramble back to your feet.

              In moments Connor came running toward you, but you were already unleashing your fury on him before he could get close, “What the hell was that, Connor? Why would you go through with Elijah’s stupid games like that? What were you thinking?”

He approached you slowly with a stoic look upon his face. “What was I thinking? You said yourself that Kamski’s information came with a price-“

You shook your head in disbelief, “Yes I did. His information comes with a price but that doesn’t mean you have to pay it, Connor.”

His face was unreadable as he stepped forward, “Y/N, I don’t know what you were expecting of me back there, but we came here to get information on deviants and that is exactly what I accomplished.”

There were tears brimming in your eyes as you finally turned the full force of your gaze on him, “What I was expecting of you? Connor, I expected a great many things to come of this meeting but not what you just did back there. What you did to that innocent women. I-“

The android in front of you frowned, “That women? Y/N that was a machine… she can have her memories uploaded and be replaced just as easily as I can.”

Your jaw dropped at that, “Replaced? You think its that simple? You think that your death would be that easy for- for Hank? And for me? Do you think that we could just watch you die at the drop of a hat and everything would be just fine when your ‘replacement’ comes along? It’s not that simple, Connor…”

              You didn’t get to finish you thought as Connor’s LED began to flash Yellow and you could have sworn you saw a gleam of red. “It is that simple, Y/N. I’m an android from any other perspective I’m just Biocomponents and Thirium with synthetic skin. I’m a machine sent to accomplish a mission. I’m not- I’m not human and I’m not a deviant. I’m not capable of emotions. I can’t give you what you want, Y/N. I’m not designed to…”

Tears were now brimming in your eyes, “You can’t give me what I want?”

Connor met your eyes, seemingly choosing his words carefully, “I’ve spent enough time around humanity including you and Hank, to recognize certain emotions and how they develop. Humans can form friendships or attachments, they can care for each other deeply, and even fall in love with each other. I’ve researched enough data and analyzed you enough to recognize the signs now. The way your pupils sometimes dilate when you view me, your increased heart rate when we’re near each other, and the rushing of blood to your cheeks. They’re signs that humans normally exhibit when they are ‘in love’. But that is something that I cannot reciprocate, Y/N. I’m not programmed to do so.”

With tears dripping down your cheeks you couldn’t help the shame that flooded you and the bitter scoff the fell from your mouth. “Yes, I can see that now. It was my mistake for thinking that there was more to you than what Cyberlife programmed. It was my error for believing that you could care, and it was an even greater error to have somehow fallen in love with you. Don’t worry, Connor, I will do my best to correct that error so don’t feel the need to concern yourself with me and my feelings any longer.” You began to walk away but in another burst of anger you turned back towards him and hissed, “I always tried to defend you from anyone that said you were nothing but plastic and wires… Maybe I was wrong.”

You regretted the words as soon as you had said them, but you were just so angry and overwhelmed. You watched his indicator briefly glow red then yellow before turning back to blue. You scoffed quietly and turned to leave him behind before you felt his cold hand reaching for your own. You yanked your hand away turning to face him with your palms raised, “No… Connor, don’t.” Wiping away your tears you look him dead in the eyes, “I don’t know what’s going to happen next… with this revolution and your mission. But, I hope you find peace or the closest thing to peace that you’re capable of comprehending and I hope it was all worth it.”

And just like that you stormed off towards your car ignoring the android, that you once held so dear, as he continued to call out to you.

personworkingforjigsawasanintern:

personworkingforjigsawasanintern:

autisticexpression:

pixangelofbees:

dipseysparkleflower:

frenchish-water:

bees-with-tophats:

half-a-hetero:

kaliente-monster:

worldheritagepostorginization:

knowledgemimic:

breathingcolorsdraws:

knowledgemimic:

saucy-majora:

bubblegum-gg:

i-srsly-need-to-stop:

fandombandomrandom42:

geekylilprincess:

wraparoundcurl:

barkers15:

bittythemagpiedragon:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

evilblackcat13:

the-last-teabender:

wildishmazz:

devonmcs:

cate-geo:

ryrobsessed:

roses-in-fire:

cm8x-insanity:

nukewolf:

sirdragneel:

artfulaveryhofferd:

fairylightshowell:

oliviasblogisawesome:

strampunch:

fairytail-angel:

verityglasses:

combthecombel:

pokemon-chick-1personalblog:

strampunch:

mobians-and-emeralds:

coffeeandcursewords:

rootbeersweetheart:

usedtobehmc:

jamesbleach:

onceuponakhaleesi:

luckydreaming:

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

LOL

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

Never not reblog

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

Oh my God, there are so many new ones

Friggin, yis

Always reblog.

IT HAS EVOLVED

The legend marches on…

BEWARE THE MAGIC OF HATS

JDNXHSBSBF

I T ‘ S  B A C K 

a classic meme from when the world was less of a tire fire

ITS ON MY BLOG YESSSS

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

time to bring back outdated memes…

what could possibly go wrong?

eww, it smells like fuckboi

welp, down this rabbit hole we go…

nothing’s happeni-

WTF-

Oh boy, this meme

I wonder if this would work with a wolf hat.

May as well try it.

Please don’t be awful, please don’t be awful, please don’t b-

get wet 4 furry

This is obviously fake

Look, I’ll prove it

Y’all are just acting

Watch and learn

WTFFFFFF

Should…… should I…….

DO IT!

Whelp guess I gotta put on the hat now

Can’t be that bad, I mean what’s the worst a squid hat can do to m-

I̖̝̪̤̠̋͞ ̛̹̱̮̳̭̓̂͑ͫ͐̎ͯ͗͝͡H͇̠͊́̚A̛̓̓҉͙̠V͍̌̏͂ͣͨͭͧ̉́E̸͙̭̣͓̓ͨͥ̿ ̽͗͗ͮ͊ͬͩͥ̚҉̪̗̝̘̟́̕A̴̴̙̝̬̪̞͂ͤͩ̍W͚̣͆ͬỎ̫̝̟͖̝͇ͥ͛ͮ͋K̨̖͓͉̺̫͉̀͗ͪ̊͌̉E͚̲̩̪̘̠͋̈͞N͉͓͕̗̱͒̔ͨͤ͛̓̂ͧ

World Heritage Post

I’ve always wanted to show this to @theforwardslash

IT WAS A CULTURAL RESET. A CULTURAL RESET. 

HAHAH

Someone call UNESCO this dinosaur of a post needs to be protected

I’m so glad it’s back to normal after that weird glitch from 2020

BRING THIS BACK MORE PHOTOS PLEASE

One of the ancient epics!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU frickers will see thiss every day of your lives

thyladyx:

remus-christmasjumpers-lupin:

creative-universe:

Okay guys, I normally don’t go into politics but this is really really really really important. You might have heard of it, but the election of our next President is currently taking place in France, so I’ll write this quick words, in both English and French, in hope that a lot of you will read it.

This is me begging you to go vote on May 7th. I kept scrolling on twitter today and all I could see was hashtags terrifying me. #JamaisMacron (Never Macron) #SansMoiLe7Mai (Without me on May 7th)…
On April 25th, we voted for 2 candidates. Despite our hopes, the two names that came out were Emmanuel Macron and Marine Le Pen. You might not know them if you’re not french, but both those names held different stories.
While, yes, Emmanuel Macron is a guy that can’t keep his mind straight, change his words every five seconds, is said to be too young to be President, have some « peculiar »  and stupid ideas , he is nothing compared to Le Pen.
She is the leader of the far right, the « Front National », and she is a fraud. a political leader behind a party you should be scarred of. Racist, antisemitic, homophobic, anti-immigration, anti-multiculturalism are some of the words that could be used to describe them.

Truth is, I don’t want either of them to become my President, but we have to put pride and hatred aside. We are French, guys, we are free, we are a nation, we are a beautiful madness, WE are France.
Terrorists attacks can’t divide us. I know I’m scarred, I don’t feel safe, and I don’t trust our politicians, but never, NEVER, will I give up my freedom and my identity to elect someone like Marine Le Pen. No, she’s not Hitler, she’s not the devil, she’s just a woman, a human being, and we have the power to keep her from ruling our country. That won’t be done by sitting on your couch on May 7th, or by giving an empty envelope when you’ll go vote, or by putting the hashtag « Sans Moi le 7 Mai ».
You have more than a right to vote, you have an obligation, toward yourself and toward your country. You might not like it, you might hate Macron even, but you have a voice, and we all know one voice can change everything. So go vote on May 7th, vote for Emmanuel Macron, not because you like him, or because you like his ideas, but because giving him your voice means blocking the way to a party that will destroy our country, our beliefs and most certainly our life.
Please, please, please, don’t sit this one out. Go vote, because if you don’t, then you’ve made your choice, you chose the National Front and everything it stands for. It’s not voting for, but voting against. Who’d you rather have, a weird liberalist with no party and early alzheimer (and a very bad way with words), or a woman who’s going to destroy everything being french means ?
It is not easy, but necessary. Choose life, guys, choose France.

With all my love,
a very concerned french citizen.
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Salut tous le monde, je ne parle normalement jamais de politique, mais cette fois c’est vraiment, vraiment, vraiment, vraiment important.

Je vous supplie d’aller voter le 7 Mai. Toute la journée, je n’ai vue que des hashtags qui m’ont fait atrocement peur sur twitter; #JamaisMacron - #SansMoiLe7Mai …
Le 25 Avril, on a voté pour 2 candidats. Malgré nos espoirs, les deux noms qui en sont ressortis sont ceux d’Emmanuel Macron et de Marine Le Pen. Vous ne les connaissez peut-être pas si vous n’êtes pas français, mais ce sont deux noms avec deux histoires bien différentes.
Il est vrai qu’Emmanuel Macron est un homme qui n’a pas l’esprit clair, qui change de mots et d’avis toutes les cinq secondes, qui est dit trop jeune pour être Président, et qui a clairement quelques stupides idées très « particulières », mais il n’est rien comparé à Le Pen.
Elle est le leader de l’extrême droite, le Front National, et c’est une arnaque à elle seule, un leader politique derrière un partie dont vous devriez avoir peur. Racisme, antisémitisme, homophobe, anti-immigration, anti-multiculturalisme sont quelques mots qui pourraient bien les décrire.

La vérité étant que je ne veux qu’aucun des deux ne devienne mon(ma) Président(e), mais nous devons mettre de côté notre fierté et notre haine. Nous sommes français, les gars ! Nous sommes libre, nous sommes une nation, nous représentons une magnifique folie, merde, NOUS sommes la France.
Les attaques terroristes ne doivent pas nous diviser. Je sais que j’ai peur, que je ne me sens pas en sécurité, que je ne fais pas confiance à nos politiciens, mais jamais, JAMAIS, je ne renoncerais à ma liberté et mon identité pour élire quelqu’un comme Marine Le Pen.
Non, elle n’est pas Hitler, elle n’est pas le diable, elle est simplement une femme, un être humain, et nous avons le pouvoir de l’empêcher de gouverner notre pays. Ca ne se fera pas en restant assis sur votre canapé le 7 Mai, ni en rendant une enveloppe vide lorsque vous irez voter, ni même en écrivant ce fameux hashtag « Sans Moi le 7 Mai ».
Vous avez plus qu’un droit de voter, vous avez une obligation, envers vous-même et envers votre pays.
Vous n’aimez peut-être pas ça, vous détestez peut-être même Macron, mais vous avez une voix, et nous savons tous qu’une seule voix peut faire toute la différence. Alors allez voter le 7 Mai, votez pour Emmanuel Macron, pas parce que vous l’appréciez lui, ou même ses idées, mais parce que lui donner votre voix veut dire bloquer la route à un partie qui pourrait détruire notre pays, nos croyances et probablement même nos vies.
S’il vous plaît, à tous ce qui lisent ce mots et ont le pouvoir de bouger les choses, à tous les français, ne faites pas l’impasses sur ces élections. Allez voter, parce que ne pas le faire, c’est déjà faire un choix, le choix du Front National et de tous ce qu’il soutient. Rappelez vous que ce n’est pas voter pour, mais voter contre.
Qui préférez-vous, un libéraliste étrange, sans partie avec un alzheimer précoce, ou une femme qui pourrait détruire tous ce qu’être français veut dire ?
Ce n’est pas facile mais nécessaire. Choisissez la vie, les gars, choisissez la France.

Avec tout mon amour,
une citoyenne française très inquiète.

Anyone who posted about the American election needs to reblog this.

France, don’t do the same thing we did in the USA. Don’t do it. Go vote for that young guy.