#male tears

Amongst all of the ideas being perpetuated by feminist morons on the internet, this has seriously got to be one of the stupidest, and that’s saying a lot. 

If you are one of these idiots touting the idea that anyone who has had a few beers or cocktails is incapable of giving consent to the act of sex, than there are really only two possibilities:

A) You’ve never actually been drunk yourself, which means that you are talking about something you have no experience with and therefore your opinion on the subject is invalid so you should probably shut the fuck up and stop sounding like a complete dumbass, or

B) You actually KNOW that what you’re saying is complete bullshit, but you’re saying it anyway so you can toe the feminist party line.

If you belong to the former group, I can’t stress this enough: You sound like a complete dumbass, not an authority on anything at all. Honestly, nobody with a brain takes you seriously.

If you belong to the latter group, well, congratulations, because people like you who spread lies for an ideology are the reason that human history is one big horror show of atrocities committed in the name of religion, freedom, or any crazy idea that randomly popped into the head of some cult leader, so kudos for being a horrible person.

The funniest thing about the whole idea, of course, is that it’s ALWAYS the man’s fault with these idiots. Doesn’t matter if a guy and a girl are both equally drunk and decide to have sex, somehow, in their twisted minds, the guy is a rapist. Hell, it doesn’t even matter if the guy was MORE drunk than the girl in question, to all of these feminist idiots the guy would still be a rapist.

Just a couple of questions for all of you geniuses:

Where the fuck did you get the idea that only men are capable of being sexually aggressive when it comes to hooking up? I’m genuinely curious, because it sure didn’t come from living in the real world.

Also, if two drunk lesbians or two drunk gay dudes have sex, do you fuckheads actually believe they are raping each other?

Probably not, I suppose, since most feminists seem to think that the only real crimes that matter in this world are committed by men against women.

Here’s the thing though:

There’s no drink in this world that magically makes you decide to do something you didn’t want to do. Sure, alcohol lowers your inhibitions. That’s what’s fucking great about it. It’s the reason people make the conscious and sober decision to start drinking and try to hook up in the first place. Hell, MOST sexual encounters outside of relationships by people in their twenties happen between two people who have had a few drinks.

Singles bars EXIST so that women, and men for that matter, can decide to get drunk, have sex with a stranger and not feel guilty about it afterwards. If they DO end up feeling guilty about it afterwards, then guess what? It’s THEIR problem. It’s called making a bad decision, not getting raped.

Obviously, some people do reach a certain level of drunkenness to where they are incapable of thinking for themselves, and that should not be taken advantage of by other people sexually, financially, emotionally or otherwise. That level of drunkenness is not the norm, though, and the list of people who are waiting to take advantage of it is a hell of a lot bigger than just men trying to use women for sex, which is why EVERYBODY needs to be careful in these situations.  

Bottom line: If a woman can walk by herself and talk in coherent sentences, she’s sure as hell capable of giving willful consent to let you into her panties, and the idea that women are too stupid and weak to make that decision for themselves just because they’ve had a few drinks is one of the biggest hypocrisies being perpetuated by feminism.

My advice to all of you is to lighten the fuck up, have a drink, and go get yourselves laid.

Seriously, how many times have you heard this ridiculous line from feminists?

“If you believe in equality for women than you’re automatically a feminist, because that’s what feminists are fighting for blah blah blah I’m clearly an extremely stupid individual who can’t wrap my head around the fairly simple idea that someone can believe some of the same things as I do without adhering to all of my principles on life.”  

I was paraphrasing a bit there, but that’s pretty much the gist of it.

It’s like saying that everyone who believes in going to church on Sunday is a Southern Baptist, or that everyone who believes in gay marriage is automatically a liberal, and while most Southern Baptists and liberals might like to believe that’s the case, those of us who live in the real world know it simply isn’t true.

See, here’s the thing:

Believing that rape is wrong doesn’t make someone a feminist.

Believing that people should be paid the same amount of money for doing the same job regardless of their sex doesn’t make someone a feminist.

Believing that the forced genital mutilation of women in other countries is an abhorrent practice that needs to be abolished doesn’t make someone a feminist.

Believing that women should be able to walk around outside without worrying about their safety or getting verbally harassed doesn’t make someone a feminist.

Believing these things just makes you a reasonable and decent human being.

Adhering to feminist ideology and spouting feminist rhetoric is what makes people feminists, and you can sure as hell believe in all of the above and more without doing any of that.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fucking idiot and/or doing a piss poor job of trying to sell feminism to you, which means if you fall for it, you’re also a fucking idiot, so good luck with that.

You’re gonna need it.

I’ve always known that I’m related to some shitty people. My biological father ran a Russian bride website. If you go back far enough, I’m related to the first white baby born in New France. I’m pretty sure the Quebecois side of my family started the first residential school. Family skeletons are not a surprise.

But I was blissfully unaware that my cousin is a fucking lunatic. I knew he was an idiot, as he had previously broken both of his legs jumping off of a rock (not a cliff. A rock.), but I didn’t know he was a complete write-off as a human being. 

I’m a firm believer in the old adage that sunlight is the best disinfectant, so I’m cataloging some of his choice facebook posts. I don’t anticipate many people reading this, I just want there to be a public record both for my sanity, and for evidence once he realizes this could effect his custody agreement and deletes everything. I blocked out his name when I tweeted about it earlier, but fuck him. Also, the timestamps are a little weird, because I retook some for ease of cropping reasons. 

Here’s how it started.

Typical, “I’m a shitty person but will blame feminism for my personal failings,” post, not particularly worthy of much more than an eyeroll. So I expanded the comments. It was mostly sad ramblings about how it’s not fair that men have to be nice to women from future members of the Dead for Three Weeks Prior to Discovery Club for Men. His solitary feminist friend posted, “No, men don’t have to be nicer to women than women have to be to men. Everyone should just damn well be nice to each other. It’s really that simple. It’s not how it works, but it’s how it should work.”

And that’s when my cousin’s brain levee broke. Everything that came after was a non-stop deluge of Evolutionary Psych 101 persecution complex bullshit.

Sorry, I was unable to block out his friend’s name because I couldn’t reach from all the way up on my crazy high rights pedestal. Anyway, back to my 28-year-old high school drop out cousin who lives with his mom teaching us about how women are attracted to powerful men with social status. Oh, wait, no, he’s onto something new:

Jesus fucking Christ. 

Even one of his shitty friends pointed out that was too far and that what he said doesn’t excuse sexual assault, which brought us to:

The mother of his daughters tried to get him to chill out and referenced how women were treated in the past, which is how we arrived at a list of things he never learned at the school he didn’t go to:

This is when I showed up and discovered that I am descended from Selkies. I learned this when my presence magically transformed my shitty human cousin into a magnificent, equally as stupid sea-lion who was incredibly confused as to why I wouldn’t provide a sound argument to counter his completely factually sound, “Bitch deserved it,” stance:

I’m going to leave out most of my commentary because I don’t want this to turn into those, “Look how great I did at the argument” posts, but I’m leaving in that last one and this one for context. The blocked out name is his 5 year old daughter:

While in a stupor from what I just read, I began a delightful conversation with the woman who introduced his parents. She was pretty upset that this resulted from that. I also heard from the very much not pleased mother of his children.

I was then treated to walls of text via private message which are mostly too boring, repetitive and caps-locky to post, but I reached a point where I would only respond to his arguments with actual studies and easily google-verifiable cases.

Eventually out of exhaustion, I ended up here. I should point out that this is the closest I got to saying any laws should be changed, which will come up a lot soon.

To which I received:

This was when I cut him off. I told him that what he has to say about women shows a lack of respect and care for me, my sister, my mother, our grandmother, his mother, and most importantly his daughters. He continued to send me unanswered walls of text, ending with this beautiful gem that I will cherish forever:

All of this inspired him to write out a very strange, inaccurate, citation-needed version of the Marissa Alexander case, claiming that I want special laws for women who shoot at their husbands in front of their children to get out of jail free. 

 I was well past the point of thinking I could make a difference, and I thought it would be more fun to watch it play out without participating. I was right. Why? Because his friends thought a) I sound like a cunt. and that b) My cover photo of Kathleen Turner is totally me.

I’ve also apparently been secretly hoping a man would call me a cunt so I could say I won. Ladies, please take heed of his invitation to contact him. 

This got long as hell, and it doesn’t even cover a tenth of his garbage. So I’ll just end this here with a thrilling proven fact that I learned from his friend via the thread:

I, for one, look forward to the great Lipstick War of 2019. #Hilary4Prez

TL;DR version, my cousin’s daughters would have a better chance left in the woods than they would in his custody.