#fedora

Heaven Gaia Spring 2017

1) Remember that body shaming is always wrong, because people can’t help the body they were born with. If someone disagrees with you on this or anything else in regards to feminism, it’s perfectly okay to suggest that they are a male with a small penis, or that they have a “neck beard”, both of which are totally gross.

2) Insist that everyone who disagrees with the tenets of feminism is a privileged white male who does not believe that women should be able to make their own choices in life. Either that, or they are women who have been brainwashed by the patriarchy, because feminism is the only right choice. 

3) Understand that women should be able to wear anything they want in public, even if it’s a mini-skirt and a tight tank top that has the word “slut” emblazoned on it, without total strangers assuming something about their character. Don’t forget that any guy who wears a fedora is obviously a misogynistic douchebag, and most likely one of those MRA assholes.  

4) Harp on the fact that women and girls are the only ones who have to be careful about walking alone at night, because men and boys NEVER have to worry about getting jumped, mugged, robbed, killed or molested by some criminal. Remember that if men do get victimized, it probably sucks for them, but it’s kind of their own fault anyway, because they’re part of the patriarchy and the patriarchy is the reason all crime exists. Just don’t ever blame the victim, because that would be wrong. 

5) NEVER engage in actual debate with someone who is bringing up facts and statistical evidence that proves whatever you just said wrong. Instead, you can still win the argument by calling them “over-privileged”, saying that you “took some classes” on the subject and they are not worth debating because they hate women, throwing out a feminist catch phrase like “patriarchy”, “male tears” or “what about the menz” over and over, and then blocking them. If you have time before your brain starts making you think about the facts they just proved you wrong with, call them some worse names just to let them know you don’t tolerate misogynists. Then go read some feminists blogs to get those pesky facts out of your head, and maybe drop a comment or two about how you “just won an argument against an MRA”. Whew, that was a close one.  

6) Realize that not only is it perfectly acceptable to lump ALL males into the same category as rich, conservative white males with unlimited political power who come from old money, but also that it’s actually harmful to feminist theory to make any distinction at all between some guy who is living in a trailer park in Idaho and say, Mitt Romney, so don’t do it, otherwise this whole “male privilege” theory might take a hit and that’s the last thing you want if you’re gonna keep spouting feminist rhetoric.

7) Constantly complain about the “over sexualization” of women in advertisements, television, and movies, and how that holds real women up to unattainable expectations as far as their bodies go. This is an especially good point to keep bringing up in defense of feminsism, because everyone knows that men aren’t expected to look a certain way in any of these areas. Nope, men in the entertainment industry can be fat, ugly trolls and still be successful actors and models. Just ask Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum, Johnny Depp, Robert Pattinson, or any male underwear model. Looks mean nothing where men are concerned in the entertainment and fashion industries, and it’s totally unfair for any industry that’s rooted in sex and fantasy to keep perpetuating sexual fantasies. It’s all because of the patriarchy.

8) Remember: it’s totally cool to assume that all men are rapists because one of them molested you in some way at some point. Also, all women are bad drivers, on the strength of that one dumb broad who turned left into oncoming traffic and totaled my car a few months ago. It’s just logic, people. If someone of a certain gender did something to you, then everyone of that same gender must by definition be EXACTLY LIKE THAT PERSON. Why is that so hard to understand?

9) Don’t forget to bring up advertisements, statistics, data, or political quotes from over 50 years ago or more to illustrate how bad all women have it in the year 2013, because clearly nothing has improved for them since the 1950’s. If you think that it logically follows from this that either your old statistics are deliberately misleading or that feminism itself is completely ineffective, well, just stop thinking about it because…..patriarchy.

10) If confronted by a skeptic on feminist theory who claims that real equality can only be attained by concentrating on the whole population of the human race and not just half of it, always bring up the fact that feminism is actually fighting for men too, because every unfair thing that happens to men is perpetuated by the patriarchy, which is run by men, so by actively working against men, feminism is actually helping men because men shouldn’t act like men in the first place. Or something like that. I admit this one doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but hey, you’re fighting the good fight here, and it’s okay to bend the rules of logic as long as you think you’re right. If someone argues, just refer to step 5.

I’m ready for turtlenecks and cold nights

Model ig@zad_culturre

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Enjoying the last few days of Summer Brunching!!

I’ll be sad peach season is over but SO READY for PUMPKIN EVERYTHING