#maraudersheadcanons

Sirius: for the last time, I’m not short you’re just very tall

Remus: You’re mad at me now aren’t you

Sirius: *turns away from him* hmph 

Remus, rests his head on Sirius’s shoulder: I would agree with you just to make you happy but the fact that I had to bend down a good bit just to rest my head on your shoulder only proves my point more

Regulus: *is playing with baby Harry* Can u give me a high five

Harry: *gives him a lil high five*

Regulus: *smiles* good job

James: *takes a picture*

Regulus: *covers harry’s ears* If you ever show anyone that picture I’m fucking divorcing your sorry ass

James:but-

Regulus: did I fucking stutter

James:

James:ok

Slight NSFW! You have been warned

Remus: *pushes Sirius up against a wall* I want to fuck you until you can’t stand

Sirius: *becomes so flustered it’s not even funny*

Remus: *takes a step back and starts laughing*

Sirius: what in hell was that for

Remus: You look so cute when your flustered 

Sirius:

Sirius: that’s why you did that 

Remus: pretty much yea, teasing you is quite fun

Sirius: Well maybe for you. you’re not the one that’s hard now

Remus: are you really? I mean I barely did anything 

Sirius: don’t remind me 

Remus: oh how sad

Remus: Anyways good luck with that *walks away leaving Sirius by himself*

Sirius: Mom you won’t believe what happened today

Mcgonagall: if someone upset you, you probably provoked them first and I don’t want to hear you complain 

James: I on the other hand, need names and houses

Sirius: I’ll gladly tell you >:)

Mcgonagall: I’m about to give you both detention

Slughorn after seeing Sirius look in the general direction of a girl: Oh you’re such a ladies man aren’t you

Sirius:

Sirius:

Sirius:

Sirius:

Sirius: sir I am a homosexual-

Sirius: Why is it when girls hug and kiss each other its normal and they’re just friends and stuff but when I stare at my close friend of 6 years for like 5 minutes straight I’m “gay”

Regulus:

Regulus: you know what I agree with that completely you are gay

Sirius: well I mean obviously yea but that’s not my point

Lily: Where’s your husband at, I need to talk to him

Remus: First of all, he’s not my husband 

Remus: Secondly, it’s 2:28 p.m. and right now and usually he’s having a snack at this time so try the kitchens and if he’s not there he’s definitely out on the quidditch field

Lily:

Lily: if you’re not his husband you’re definitely his stalker

Every Friend group should include …..

A bimbo- James

A mean bisexual- Remus

An even mean lesbian- Marlene

She theys and he theys- Regulus

A token straight who is on thin ice- James

An astrology bitch that has everyone’s birth chart memorized- Dorcas

And a short king- Sirius

Slight NSFW! You bave been warned

Remus, arguing with Sirius: - and if you don’t like that you can kiss my ass

Sirius: I mean, your ass looks great so I wouldn’t mind doing that even if I didn’t like what you just said

Remus:

Remus: you and I both know that’s not what I meant

James: I would take you to the movies but they don’t allow snacks

Lily: everyday the urge to divorce you gets stronger

Harry: I’m surprised you haven’t already

Harry: I would say no offense but you guys told me not to lie so-

The Marauder era Characters as people in a friend group

James- the mom friend that cares about everyone else’s well being more than their own

Sirius- the irresponsible friend that acts 10 years younger than everyone else and is lowkey annoying

Remus- the sarcastic one that reads 24/7 and runs solemnly on coffee and rage

Peter- the sweet innocent one that provides snacks and dumb questions to friend group

Regulus- the emo gay that never talks to anyone in the friend group and has no idea how they ended there

Lily: the sane one that has no idea how they ended up being friends with such dumbasses and is irritated with them 24/7 but would murder anyone who dares to harm them

Marlene- the wine step mom that is an extremely bad influence and encourages violence and immaturity

Dorcas- the quiet and calm one that everyone assumes is sweet and innocent, and while they actually are most of the time, they got some pretty dark thoughts going on in their mind from time to time

Alice- the one girl most people find annoying but is actually the sweetest and most friendly person you’ve ever met if you give them a chance (but they’re still really talkative)

Frank- the one introvert with crippling social anxiety that’s really close to an extrovert in the group (Alice in this case) that is like their little protector

Mary- the chill one with the most immaculate vibes ever that everyone enjoys being around

Sirius: I say bae platonically and bro romantically

Sirius: there is no hope for me

Sirius: I love you bae

James: love you too sweetheart <3

Sirius, to Remus: oh I love you as well bro

Lily:

Lily: what just happened

After being disowned by his biological mother, Sirius really went out and replaced her with not one but three other moms (James, Euphemia, and Mcgonagall)

James, who woke up in the middle of the night to find Sirius in his bed: Padfoot what are you doing in my house

Sirius: did you not hear? your mom said I could live here and then made me cookies

James:

James: YES IVE ALWAYS WANTED A ROOMMATE IT’LL BE LIKE A PERMANENT SLEEPOVER

Sirius:YES

10 year old Regulus looking at a couple kissing in public: ewwwww kissing is gross

Walburga: one day you’ll grow out of that

Years later

Regulus: *hasn’t grow out of it bc he’s actually ace and still thinks kissing is gross so ewww pda*

ok ok here me out, Regulus being like 5'4 and being a short king

Barty: if you had to fuck one of the Gryffindor students, who would it be

Regulus:

Regulus: bold of you to assume I’d fuck anyone-

Dorcas: omg did you see that person back there they were so sexy

Regulus:

Regulus:

Regulus:

Regulus: *confused asexual noises*

Sirius: milk goes first

Peter:

Remus:

James:

Lily:

Regulus:

Remus: never talk to any of us again