Author:somemaycallmesunshine Pairing: Matt Cohen x Reader Reader Gender:Female Word Count:2k Warnings: fluff (is that a warning?), swearing, reader has self-confidence issues, mentions of anxiety/depression
A/N: Hi, everyone! Sorry this took so long. I first want to thank everyone who liked or followed this story and for everyone who still is reading it despite my absence. It means so much to me. I hope you enjoy this next chapter! (Internal thoughts are in italics)
Summary: You had long dreamt of meeting your hero Matt Cohen and thanking him for changing your life. But now with SPNCon rolling around, you finally get your chance, and it’s more than you could have ever imagined.
You checked yourself in the mirror for the umpteenth time. You didn’t have anything to wear for a day out with your hero so you asked your friend Cecelia, who, just like friends do, let you borrow a cute sundress she brought. But not without the price of grilling you on the details.
“Come on! At least show me a picture of your mystery date!” She pouted.
“It’s not a date, Cece.” You insisted.
She snorted, “Yeah right. What kind of guy asks you on a whim to eat lunch with him alone and tells you how special you are? Not to mention he just met you. Face it, Y/N. He totally asked you out.” She sighed as she flopped onto the hotel bed. “God, why don’t these kinds of things happen to me?”
You hesitated for a moment, fiddling with your hands. “Cece, what if it’s not all it’s cracked up to be?” You asked, your voice low and hands shaking. “What if this is just a game? What if he’s just using me?”
Cecilia frowned, “You know he’s not.” But your unconvinced expression told her otherwise. “Y/N, you’ve gotta be a little more hopeful about this. This is someone new, this mysterious and probably hot and handsome stranger asking you out on a friggin’ date for god sakes! It’s like a dream!”
“And what if that’s all this’ll be? Just some stupid dream that ends up being a complete nightmare?”
“I don’t think that’ll happen.” She replied. “Not everyone is like Barron, you know.”
You sucked in a deep breath, knowing that what she said was true but the doubt still lingered in your mind. You weren’t one for fairy tales and happy endings. They just didn’t happen to you. And you weren’t going to start believing in them now just because some gorgeous guy supposedly asked you out.
You turned away from the mirror to face her, changing the subject. “How do I look?” Truthfully, whatever your friend said, you felt a little strange. You never dressed up for anything really and it was one the first times in your life you ever put that much effort into make up and hair. Your reflection almost made it seem like you were a completely different person.
Cece gave you a wink, “Rawr.” She made a sound similar to a purring cat. “Trust me. He won’t be able to resist.” You grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it into her face.
“Hey! What the hell?”
“You’re crazy.” You snorted.
She smirked and kicked at your heels, “Yeah but you love it. Now get going or you’re gonna be late for Prince Charming!”
Matt fiddled with his collared shirt and tried combing his unruly hair once more before turning back to his friends, Richard and Rob. “There. How do I look?”
“Like a friggin’ archangel.” Richard snickered and pinched Matt’s cheeks. Matt swatted his hand away and Richard’s snickers turned into full on guffaws.
Rob shook his head, “I still say it’s a little weird. You met her yesterday, right?” Matt nodded his head and he continued, “So what – do you like her or something? I mean, it’s not like you to wanna just pick girls up on a whim.”
“Um no. Girls wanna pick him up. I mean, have you seen the ass on this guy? He’s fucking blessed.” Rich snorted.
Matt rolled his eyes and ignored his friend. “It’s hard to explain. It was… It was a feeling, you know?” He paused for a moment, biting his lip to help collect his thoughts but they all traced back to your smiling face. “It was like God was opening this door of opportunity and I had to take it – seriously, you’re a fucking perv, Rich.” He scoffed as he watched his friend collapse in tears.
“Face it. You walked right into that one though, dude.” Rob smirked.
Sometimes Matt wondered why he was best friends with those psychos but he couldn’t help but love them. He sighed and glanced at his watch and his eyes widened, “Shit! I’m gonna be late!”
As he bolted out the door, he heard Richard holler, “Use protection, Matty!” And he flipped him off.
You couldn’t stop the thrumming in your heart as you waited in the lobby. You tapped your toes on the ground and checked your phone to try to calm yourself down but it still didn’t seem real. Matt had asked you to lunch and half of you thought it was a dream you were more than excited to experience and the other half thought it was too good to be true.
Maybe I was just dreaming it all up. You thought as your heart sank but just as it had, it lifted and raced as you spotted the all too familiar face enter the lobby.
Several heads turned as they saw him and some folks who had gone to the convention gasped and squealed upon seeing him but once he spotted you, yours was the only face he saw. He dashed to you, bypassing the spectators nearby and that was when you realized you hadn’t dreamt it at all. It was a reality and you were about to live it and you didn’t know whether you were bursting from excitement or trembling from that nagging fear that you would mess it up.
“Y/N, hey. Sorry for being late.” Matt remarked, giving you a quick hug. “Rich and Rob kept me but hopefully you didn’t wait too long.”
You shook your head, “No I didn’t.”
Matt’s nervous expression turned to one of relief as he sighed with a grin, “That’s good. I would’ve hated it if I worried you.”
“Truthfully I’m surprised you remembered.” You admitted.
His eyes grew wide before he frowned, “And forget about you and our special day together? Keep dreaming, Y/N.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Speaking of that, I made us a reservation in an hour so shall we go, m'lady?” He drawled in a fake British accent, holding his arm out.
You hooked your arm in his and nodded. He squeezed your arm against his as you both headed for the parking lot.
You were dreaming. You had to be. There was just no other explanation as to why Matt not only asked you to have lunch with him but followed through with his plans and took you to the quaintest restaurant you’d ever seen. It was like a little slice of Italy with pictures of olive groves and Tuscan villas decorating the walls and the sweet smell of garlic and tomatoes wafting through the air. They had the sweetest staff and you both wound up in a corner booth a ways away from the other customers.
“Any friend of Rob’s is a friend of ours.” The owner, a tiny Italian woman who looked like a grandma grinned at you as she took your orders.
“I’ll have the special.” Matt remarked before turning to you, “What would you like, sweetheart?”
You blushed at the nickname but Matt didn’t seem to notice the effect he had on you. Nevertheless, the waitress was awaiting the response and you didn’t want to keep her waiting. You glanced at the menu, hiding behind its pages before ordering the same thing and the woman left you both alone.
“I don’t think I said this yet but you look beautiful.” Matt grinned.
You almost thought it was his goal that day to make you blush constantly. You fiddled with your sleeves as heat rose into your cheeks, “You’re just saying that –”
“Trust me. I’m not. You really do look great today, Y/N.”
You ducked your head, feeling even warmer, “Thanks. You – you look great today too –not that you don’t look great everyday! Im sure you look amazing everyday – oh God, I’m digging myself in a hole aren’t I?”
Matt chuckled, amused. “I’m glad you think so, sweetheart.” He winked.
You were pretty sure your face was now officially on fire so you hid your face behind your hands. “I just need to shut up. I’m such an idiot.”
“Hey, no, Y/N.” Matt frowned, “Look at me.”
You shook you head and he sighed. “Y/N, please.” His voice grew serious and you peeked behind your hands for the briefest moment before relenting and letting them drop. Then you lifted your gaze and met his green orbs as he replied, “Thank you.”
You nodded, feeling your throat run dry as he continued. “You’re not an idiot, okay? I know we don’t know each other much but trust me when I say you aren’t. And for the record, I didn’t mind the rambling. I thought it was adorable.”
You flinched, reliving the words that made you feel humiliated. “Sorry about that…”
“You don’t have to apologize, you know, for anything. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But –”
He put his hand out and placed it over yours which easily shut you up. “Y/N, it’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for. Alright?”
Your throat seemed to swell and your eyes sting from the unshed tears that always seemed to appear at the drop of a hat. But Matt didn’t seem to mind. He tilted your chin up, allowing you to gaze once more at his handsome face. His eyes searched yours, awaiting a response so you nodded your head.
He beamed and his whole face lit up. “Well alright.”
Before you could say anything, the waitress returned, bringing over your plates of food. Upon seeing you both, she rushed with placing the plates in front of you before disappearing with a knowing wink. And just like that, you were blushing all over again.
“Man, Rob wasn’t kidding when he said this place was good.” Matt sighed, patting his belly as the both of you walked out of the restaurant.
You nodded, “I don’t think I can even eat dinner.”
“Tell me about it. I’m not even sure I could eat breakfast tomorrow, but do you know what sounds pretty good right now?” He asked and you shook your head. “A nice, cold pint. I could go for a pale ale or something to cool down after all that chow.”
You gestured in front of you. “I saw a bar a few blocks down if you wanna check it out.”
Matt’s eyes sparkled as he turned to you, “Only if you check it out with me.”
You wrinkled your nose in displeasure, “Okay, but… I’m not much of a beer person.”
“You’re kidding.” He deadpanned.
“It tastes like piss.”
He snorted, “Only if you haven’t tried the good stuff.” You didn’t look convinced and he smirked, “That’s fine. I’m up for the challenge. I’ll school you on good beer and in return, I’d like you to do something for me.”
“What’s that?”
“I want you to stop speaking so negatively about yourself.” He replied and though you opened your mouth to object, he continued. “I know it’s hard and I know you don’t want to do it, but it would make me really happy if you stopped criticizing yourself when you’re a strong and beautiful woman. Okay? So can you do it? Please? For me?” He batted his lashes at you and you turned to mush.
You bit your lip, wishing you could not only refuse him but stop yourself from turning scarlet again but it was as though your mouth betrayed your mind. “So you really think I’m strong?”
He nodded, “And beautiful.”
“… Fine.”
Matt grinned and his eyes twinkled with glee. “Perfect! And for every negative comment you say about yourself, you gotta find five things you like about yourself.”
Your eyes widened, “Hey! Wait a minute! I didn’t sign up for that!” You hollered but he was already bounding ahead of you, skipping like a child.
“You’re not gonna regret this! I promise.” He called out as you chased him into the bar.
Attention for all the family members I’ll bet my luck on one of the best fandom family I’m in.I’m gonna start a game of trustworthy. Guys, we are separated all over the world,I had NEVER met you guys, and we don’t know each other. Yet, spn linked us all together, No matter where u r , we are all the same.It’s just a easy game But we need cooperation and trustworthy Sometimes internet is just too convenient that we might forget how do people around the world communicated in the past So that’s why here i am , planning this game, to link us all together. . So please , repost this to your spn friends if you are interested and #projectunitespn !! We can do it RULES : 1. Pm me that you are interested in this game or send an email to inform me ( [email protected] ) 2. I’ll give you my address (guys I have complete trust in you, you don’t have to give me yours in case I’m some freaking stalker LOL ) 3. Please write a letter and send it to me, it can be anything, to anyone, for example a letter to the character, the actors our dear Misha, one of your friends, a drawing, etcetc. 4. I’m sorry but you’ll have to spent a little money to send it to me please accept my apologies 5. I’ll collect all of your letters and made a book out of it, then I’ll pay n send it to the producers of SPN. 6. Comment down below and count off from 1 if u r interested and see at last how many letters could I receive!!
Warnings: Other than the obvious, Dubcon for John unaware it’s Dean.
Sunmary: During a hunt in Memphis back in 2002, Dean dips out on John to scratch an itch. When John shows up at the same bar with the same itch, Dean’s all too happy to keep this scathing little secret to himself.
Series Tags: fluff, angst, smut, age difference, sugar daddy/baby relationship, vacations, family dinners, hospitalizations, breakups, etc.
Summary: [Y/N] is a grad student who was having trouble coping with expenses. John is the CEO of HunterCorp who needed someone to talk to. They came to a mutually beneficial agreement that’s been working very well. Until she gets asked on a date by someone her own age.
A/N: HUGE SHOUTOUT TO MY TUMBLR WIFE @writercole FOR ENCOURAGING ME AND SUPPORTING ME THROUGHOUT THIS SELF-INDULGENT SERIES. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND THIS SERIES WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE WITHOUT YOU.
forever thinking about Sam laughing when John insults Dean’s ability to care for the Impala, because he thinks he’s seeing a crack Dean’s bullshit and that Dean is the one being criticized for once. Thinking about how John’s manipulation & degradation of them both is like the air they breathe, so that Sam can see his brother being mistreated in front of him and not only not register it as mistreatment, but think it’s funny.
anon asked: Hey! I love your work! Do you think you could do a sister!reader fic where Dean, Sam and Cas are away on a long hunt, and the reader (younger, maybe between 11-14) has a panic attack? Since her brothers nor Cas can help, Crowley shows up… Thank you!
Word Count: 1,762
A/N: I know panic attacks can be different for a lot of people, so I kind of just made the panic attack in this story how mine usually are. I also set this before the boys found the bunker since Crowley is still around. *Also not my gif*
“Hey, wake up…. Y/N c’mon wake up.” Sam said as he shook your sleeping form.
You rolled over to your side and blinked your eyes open slowly, adjusting to the light shining in from the hallway.
“M’what?” You mumbled.
“Y/N, Cas called us. Dean and I have to leave to go help him, it’s important.”
“What’s going on?” You wondered, looking over at the clock on the nightstand to see that it was 2:30 in the morning.
“We’ll call you and explain everything later, but we have to leave. We might be gone for a few days but I wanted to let you know.” Sam said frantically.
“Okay, call me in the morning.” You said, still half asleep and not really understanding what was going on.
Sam nodded and shut the lights off as he and Dean gathered their things before leaving the motel room. You rolled to your other side and fell back asleep within minutes.
………………..
You woke up the next morning and sat up in bed, looking around, you were confused as to why Sam and Dean weren’t there. It took you a minute but you remembered Sam waking you up. Just as you were thinking about where the hell they went, your phone rang.
“Sam?”
“Hey, how’re you doing?”
“Uh, where are you guys and when are you coming back?”
“Sorry for leaving in such a rush. Cas called us about some other angels that are going around taking people out. Normally he’d be able to handle this himself but they’re moving pretty fast.” Sam explained.
“When will you be back?”
“Not sure, but this one might take a few days. Maybe a week at worst, but we’ll keep you updated.”
“What about food?” You asked, glancing at the small motel kitchen.
“Dean went on a supply run after you fell asleep last night, the fridge should be stocked. We wouldn’t leave you alone if we thought you couldn’t handle it.” Sam said.
“Okay, well, hurry back.”
“We will. Gotta go, we’ll talk to you later.” “Stay safe, Y/N/N.” You heard Dean say in the background.
………………..
It had been 4 days since the boys left and you were bored out of your mind. You had opened snack after snack, watched way too much tv, and even snuck two of Dean’s beers. You knew he would notice and be pissed off but you didn’t even care at the time.
Just when you thought you would be fine by yourself, you weren’t.
The paranoia started to set in, which happened often when the boys would leave on longer hunts and not take you with them. Sometimes, you were able to brush it off and be patient until they got back. Other times like this, it was like a nagging feeling of terrible thoughts that would set off a panic attack.
There was a string of bad thoughts that kept rushing through your head. Wondering if Sam and Dean would be okay, if they were going to make it back safely, or if they were already dead and you just didn’t know it yet.
These thoughts sent you pacing back and forth around the motel room. You chewed your lip as you imagined Sam and Dean walking through the door with their bags, trying your best to calm yourself down.
You sat down on the edge of the bed as you felt your breathing picking up, feeling so panicked and uncomfortable, being alone for longer than you were okay with. You wanted to call Sam and Dean to check in but you didn’t want to be a bother. Your brothers knew that you had occasional panic attacks, but they didn’t know the extent of them. It was also a little embarrassing, so you decided to keep it on the low.
That’s when your phone rang, seeing it was Sam, you answered almost right away.
“Sammy?” You breathed out.
“Hey kiddo. What’s up?” Dean answered instead.
“Uh, hey…. nothing much…. Is Sam there?”
“Yeah, he just fell asleep in the passenger seat. Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine, just um…. when will you be back?”
“We just finished up actually. We were able to track down the last string of dickhead angels so were on our way back right now.”
“How long?” You asked a little too eagerly.
“Should be there in about 4 hours, could be less…. You know how I drive.” Dean let out a chuckle.
“Ok great, hurry back.” Was all you could think of saying before hanging up the phone.
………………..
Sam stirred in his seat, waking up and turning to Dean to see his phone in his hand. “What are you doing with my phone?”
“Y/N called, she was just asking where we were.”
“Oh. How is she?”
“Good… sounded a little weird though.”
“What do you mean weird?”
“I dunno. She’s probably just getting impatient.”
Sam took a moment to think about how Dean worded that, realizing you might’ve been having an episode.
“No more stops tonight, let’s get back as soon as possible.”
“Why?”
“She might be panicking a little bit, we’ve been gone for almost a week.”
“She’ll be fine, she just needs to get used to being on her own.” Dean started being insensitive.
“Dean, I don’t think you know how panic attacks work.”
“She doesn’t still have those, does she?”
“Yes, as far as I know she does, and depending on the person, they can get pretty bad.”
Dean didn’t say anything after that and continued to drive faster.
………………..
You sat on the floor up against the motel bed and talked to yourself in your head, praying to Cas since your brothers were still a long ways away. You repeated the same message over and over, expecting to see Cas pop up in front of you, but it never happened.
You started to panic even more that you started to repeat your cry for help out loud, not to anyone directly, but in hopes of feeling like someone was listening.
You weren’t expecting it but someone was listening.
And that someone was Crowley.
Crowley appeared after minutes of you talking, it scared the shit out of you, making you spring up from where you were sitting.
“What the hell are you doing here?” You questioned.
“Well, someone is a little uneasy from what I heard.” He glanced back at you.
“Why are you even listening to me?”
“You clearly wanted someone to, and I was in the area.” Crowley said jokingly.
“Sam and Dean aren’t gonna like it when they see that you’re here.” You said as you backed up out of habit.
“Sam and Dean aren’t going to be here for a while now are they love? I might as well give you some sort of company.” He smirked, as he pulled out one of the kitchen chairs to sit down.
“Why are you acting nice?”
“Who said I was acting? The king of hell can’t do little Winchester a favor?”
“Why would you want to though, it’s pretty unlike you.”
“Let’s say I owe you and your brothers one, I can’t always be ruining things can I? That would just be bad for my reputation.” Crowley sassed.
You scoffed at his sarcastic remarks, then realizing that he did a good job of distracting you from how you were feeling.
“Thanks” you gave a small smile, accepting the nice gesture Crowley gave.
“No need… Well, I guess my work here is done.” Crowley sighed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have business to attend.”
Before you could turn around to hear what Crowley was talking about, he was gone. Moments later, you heard a familiar car engine pull up in front of the motel room.
Perfect timing.
You drew the curtains to reveal your brothers emerging from the car, with Cas already walking up to the door.
You let out a sigh of relief as you welcomed all three of them inside.
“Hello Y/N…..” Cas paused and looked around with suspicion growing on his face.
“What’s wrong?”
“I had a sense that one from the opposite side was lingering in this vicinity.”
“Okay, I literally understood none of that.”
“There was a demon here at some point. I’m sure of it.”
“Y/N, what’s he rambling about?” Dean asked as he hauled in the last of the things from the impala.
“Uh, I don’t know.” You lied.
Sam could see right through you face and knew something had happened. You didn’t look okay.
“Y/N, was there someone here? Did something try to hurt you?” Sam asked, grabbing Dean’s attention, stopping him from what he was doing.
“Well, Crowley…”
“Crowley!? Was he here?” Dean’s voice boomed.
“Dean, can you please not make a big deal…”
“Big deal!!?”
“Dean, dude seriously chill out. Just tell us what happened, Y/N.” Sam interrupted.
You told the three boys everything that happened. Sam immediately felt bad that he wasn’t there. Dean was worried that his little sister dealt with panic attacks this bad, but he still wasn’t happy that the king of hell just decided to pop in without warning.
“Y/N/N, why didn’t you tell me over the phone?” Sam asked.
“I didn’t want you to worry. Plus, you were too far anyways.”
“Well next time that happens, you call us, no matter where we are. I promise, you mean more to us than our work, we’d drop everything, even if we were miles away just to get to you.” Sam explained.
“Yeah, what he said.” Dean chimed in.
“Wow, I love how much you care.” You joked.
“You know I love you Y/N/N….. but I’m gonna have to lay down some rules with Crowley, and one of them is no dropping in when I’m not here. I don’t trust that shady punk.”
Sam rolled his eyes and shrugged his arms, motioning for a hug which you gladly accepted.
“Nothing but chick flick moments over here. Get a room.” Dean scoffed.
“Shut up!”
“So, where is Crowley now?” Cas asked innocently.
“Were you even listening the whole time?” Sam asked confused.
“No, there is many things being said over angel radio.”
“God dammit, Cas.” Dean said as he got up to grab a beer out of the fridge. “Who drank my beers?”
“Wasn’t me…” Sam shrugged.
You knew you were in big trouble, forgetting about the choices you made earlier. So you slipped out the front door to let Dean cool down, but he had other plans. Sam quietly ratted you out as he motioned to the door that had just shut.
Finally finished this monster (wink wink) of a piece, a tribute to Supernatural (although I know we missed out on a bunch of characters—maybe for another piece! Haha) Patreon commission for @shymeg . I’ve been watching SPN since the very beginning, so it was super nostalgic to go back and rewatch all 15 seasons in preparation for this. Whether or not you agree with how it all ended, I’m glad they ended on their terms, and not because of a cancellation (because man, it was on the bubble almost every year). Carry on, wayward peeps.
Will post the individual “rooms” in separate posts to better appreciate the details :)
Panel 1: Sam and Dean at Mary’s grave, with ghost John and Mary looking on, and their childhood home and Baby in the background.
Easter eggs in this panel—Dean wearing the Samulet, and “I lost my shoe” :))
We start off with blues and gradually the panels get brighter until we get sunrise/sunset colors. The scenes are also like rooms in a diorama, with Chuck-God as the puppet master.
Panel 2: At Harvelle’s Roadhouse, the hunter bar. Jo and Dean in one corner, Ash on his computer, Sam and Bobby drinking at the bar, Ellen running things.
Easter eggs in this panel—Jukebox playing “Simple Man”, stickers of “Jerk” and “Bitch”, “Family Don’t End With Blood” on the wall, Route 66 sign, and September 13 on the calendar. I threw in an “idjit” sticker too haha
We’ve still got some blues here, but starting to incorporate yellows and reds
Panel 3: At the Men of Letters bunker. Warding on the walls. Demon Dean looking on. Castiel. Crowley. Rowena. A spell in the works. Charlie doing her thing on the computer. Sheriff Jodi Mills with a shotgun. Lucifer Sam going through dad’s journal.
Easter eggs in this panel—Jerk and Bitch stickers again haha, the warding consists of not just warding but various symbols throughout the show, like the mark of Cain, angel repelling sign, etc.
Colors are more taupe and yellow and light as we move towards the final panel
Panel 4: Sam and Dean and Baby on the road. Carry On Wayward Son is the soundtrack. Iconic family motto as they drive on.
Colors are bright and sunny, either sunrise or sunset. The road extends beyond the “diorama” house, with some light spilling out (you can see it in the full piece)
Outside the diorama: Chuck-God the puppet master, Amara looming behind him in shadow, and Jack the Nephilim coming closer to defeat God
Hope you enjoy looking through the details of this mega piece as much as I enjoyed drawing them! <3
Finally finished this monster (wink wink) of a piece, a tribute to Supernatural (although I know we missed out on a bunch of characters—maybe for another piece! Haha) Patreon commission for @shymeg . I’ve been watching SPN since the very beginning, so it was super nostalgic to go back and rewatch all 15 seasons in preparation for this. Whether or not you agree with how it all ended, I’m glad they ended on their terms, and not because of a cancellation (because man, it was on the bubble almost every year). Carry on, wayward peeps.
Will post the individual “rooms” in separate posts to better appreciate the details :)
I honestly have no idea if this post is about to be hella long or moderate, but I feel like a lot of my feelings got aired out when I was reviewing each individual episode, so I’m just gonna dump the rest of my thoughts that I’ve jotted down while watching this season here. This is basically gonna be me saying, “Wow, this was interesting,” or, “This is similar to/different from later seasons because…” These are all coming from notes on my computer, so they’re half-baked. Nothing too fancy or analytical, but I’ll be doing one of these for every season.
Random thoughts:
I don’t like the monster-of-the-week, episodic format that much, and a lot of those episodes this season felt average in quality for me. However, when you don’t have much else to focus on besides an arbitrary goal of the boys finding John to kill something they know nothing about, it isn’t so bad. Filler episodes suck more later because they’re often completely disconnected from the main story, which isn’t the case for most filler episodes in this season. Plus, the main stories later have more involved goals for the season than this one did, which made the filler episodes later more annoying. For example, if Sam and Dean want to hunt a Tulpa at a haunted house because John is off doing something somewhere, that’s fine. Kill the time. But if Sam and Dean really need to figure out a way to kill God, like, now before Chuck decimates every fleck of existence he’s ever created, maybe don’t waste my time with an episode about a wood nymph, you know? If the stakes are higher, then the quality episodes shouldn’t appear with less frequency. All I’m saying.
The tone, acting, and writing of these characters is so different. Like, when you know a show intimately, these kinds of differences between one season and the next are natural to you. It’s not like I wasn’t aware that the boys looking for their father feels a lot fucking different than the boys having a kid, but when you actually let yourself be aware of how much the show has changed, it’s kind of crazy. Like, if I just think about it offhand, I’m like, “Yeah, this is Supernatural.” But if I break the fourth wall a bit in my mind, it’s like, “Damn, I really did watch these characters and their actors mature for fifteen years, didn’t I?” Crazy.
There are so many episodes that end with the Impala driving down the road. Like, an aerial shot of it. And if the very last scene isn’t that, then it’s probably the scene right before the last scene. Until the last few episodes, that is.
I don’t know why I’ve written this down, but it’s easier to remember episode titles in season one because you can match it to the creature without having to remember the plot. Like, “Oh, the Wendigo episode.” I’ve also said in this same note that the folklore plots died out later on in the series, which is true.
A quote from my notes: “The show really does feel better with Cas, huh?” Look, I’m not gonna say that the S1 finale didn’t slap, because it did. However, I will say that Cas can brighten any episode up, so, had he been in the series from the beginning, the season finale may not have been the only S1 episode to slap. Not that there weren’t other episodes that were good, but you know. Also, this isn’t to say that Cas should’ve been around the whole time because him coming into Dean’s life when he did was exactly perfect.
They do this later, too, but a handful of episodes in the early seasons will be like, “Here’s a girl. Now, one of you Winchesters, go bond with her this instant.” And it’s weird? You don’t need to bring a girl in just to make googly eyes at one of the boys? You could just give her the story she was supposed to have but minus all the flirting?
So, Sam is meant to be the central character for the first five seasons, right? Yes, Dean is supposed to be his equal; yes, he went to Hell and had that whole storyline; yes, he’s Michael’s vessel, but it was always reallyabout Sam, you know? Sam was the one who had the connection to the biggest, baddest thing imaginable (at the time), that being Lucifer. Sam was the one chosen for Lucifer. Sam was the one with the psychic abilities and the one to drink demon blood and the reason Dean sold his soul. Dean is obviously a main character with his own story, but Sam was meant to be the special one, yeah? But even so, Dean is such a beautifully complex character becausehe wasn’t special. You can see that, even in S1—that his specialness came from his lack of central focus. It’s almost like the plot was saying, “Sam,” and Dean went, “I’m gonna cause problems anyway,” and that’s awesome. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I just feel like Dean is the most interesting character in the entire series, and he wasn’t even the one S1 picked out as special.
Sam’s psychic abilities seemed a lot cooler when you didn’t know as much about them. Like, yes, Sam having those abilities for the purpose of housing Lucifer is cool and all, but it felt so much more mystical when it just seemed like something Sam could do for some reason. Not that that would’ve been a better payoff than what we get—it’d be stupid for the story to say, “I know a demon chose you to be the vessel of Lucifer himself, but the psychic thing you can do? Just a coincidence”—but it’s some food for thought.
John is barely fucking there even though his existence permeates the entire fucking season. I thought he was so much more present than he was in this series. They treated him like they treated Cas. “We said his name a few times, that’s good right?” No. No, it isn’t.
I hate the pattern the episodes have in S1. It goes: location name, bad thing happens in said location, Sam and Dean talk about said thing, they go to said location, they research and maybe flirt with some random girl, they fight, they drive away in the Impala. Like, nearly every episode is like that.
Without demons in the mix that often, the tone of S1 is really different when you compare it to every other season.
Dean is a lot more emotionally vulnerable in this season. I mean, he’s not sitting down with Sam to talk about his feelings all the time, but his emotions are definitely closer to the surface. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that he hasn’t had to emotionally shut down to protect Sam yet. Obviously, he represses things because of the way he was raised, and because he had to raise Sam; however, he still had John to lean on at this point. So, he hadn’t developed that habit of hiding his feelings and leaning on no one but himself yet as he did when he lost John. Because of that, he was able to be scared and tell Sam that he was afraid of losing his family and stuff like that. He becomes a way darker character in after John dies, and he more or less only leans fully on one other person for the rest of the series, albeit in a different way.
John saying in 1x21 that he wants Dean to have a home after Azazel is killed is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. For one, because John is aware that he deprived Dean of a real home, and by extension, is aware that Dean is damaged because of that. But also, it’s sad because Dean has lived 26 years of his life up until now without ever having a home he felt safe and loved in.
Dean running from a potential fight with Azazel in 1x22 is super interesting because he’s fighting to be a part of his family rather than simply fighting for them to be saved. Dean doesn’t want to die, isn’t willing to die. That’s something that definitely changes later. Big time.
Filler episode rate:
By my count, which admittedly might be wrong, there were 7 episodes that were primarily main story episodes this season and 15 monster-of-the-week/filler episodes.
Now, in the early seasons, it isn’t as easy to separate the filler from the main story because almost every episode will deal with character conflict that’s tied to what’s going on with the main story. However, I called it a filler if the primary plot was just a random hunt. For example, I called “Scarecrow” a filler because, even though Meg was introduced after Sam and Dean have a big fight, the main plot is hunting a god.
My bottom 5 episodes in order:
These next two sections are based on my ratings of these episodes from my reviews of every episode. I’ve just ordered them, with one being my least favorite/favorite episode this season.
5.) 1x07: Hook Man
4.) 1x03: Dead in the Water
3.) 1x02: Wendigo
2.) 1x13: Route 666
1.) 1x08: Bugs
My top 5 episodes in order:
5.) 1x14: Nightmare
4.) 1x06: Skin
3.) 1x15: The Benders
2.) 1x21: Salvation
1.) 1x22: Devil’s Trap
My top episodes for Sam:
This section and the next will just be me bringing up some good points of development for Sam and Dean throughout this season. I mean, of course they develop almost all the time, but these episodes are some of the best/most interesting. At least, in my opinion. If you want to read more about my reasons, check out my reviews. Just search for “spn s1 reviews” on my blog.
1x05: Bloody Mary - Sam’s psychic abilities got alluded to for the first time during this episode, but it also told us how much Sam blamed himself for Jessica’s death.
1x10: Asylum - Sam’s resentment for Dean is voiced, and though he’s under the influence of a ghost while he talks about Dean, some of it is supported by development in other episodes this season.
1x14: Nightmare - Sam bonds with Max over their shared abilities and pasts. We also get to see that Sam initially related his own trauma when growing up to Max’s, even though he acknowledged that Max had it worse at the end. It’s an interesting point of development that Sam saw his upbringing that way.
1x19: Provenance - Through Sarah being a part of this episode, Sam reveals that he sees himself as dangerous because the abilities he has has put the people he loves in danger in the past.
1x21: Salvation - Sam reveals that he’s willing to die, and by extension, risk his family to get the job of killing Azazel done.
1x22: Devil’s Trap - Sam has to choose between losing his family through getting his revenge or losing his chance at revenge to save his family.
My top episodes for Dean:
1x06: Skin - Dean’s abandonment issues are touched on for the first time.
1x09: Home - Dean shows fear when faced with returning home and dealing with the trauma of what he went through the night Mary died.
1x12: Faith - This is the first episode that we see a serious internal conflict in Dean about the worth of his life, which is interesting, because we can see in later episodes that he doesn’t want to die. However, his attitude in this episode seems to suggest that he doesn’t see his life as valuable.
1x18: Something Wicked - Honestly, this isn’t my favorite episode in the world, but it’s the first flashback episode of the series; in it, you’ll see the reason behind Dean’s feelings of responsibility regarding Sam.
1x21: Salvation - Dean insists that nobody will die to kill Azazel, showing that he wants to be a part of his family rather than just saving them.
1x22: Devil’s Trap - Dean shows a darker side of himself in an attempt to get John back, and his fears of being unneeded by his family are revealed as well as his fears of losing his family.
Well, that’s all I’ve got for this season’s review. I’ll rate this season in my series review that I’ll write once all this is over, but my impressions right now are that the first season of Supernaturalwas all right. It didn’t necessarily walk in a straight line, but it still felt like there was a definite destination. And, on top of that, the season ended in one of the most banger ways an SPN season has ever ended. The monster-of-the-week stuff has made most of the episodes this season ones I would probably not revisit, but S1 is definitely still special.
We’ll see if this changes later, but for now, my rating (and average, based on my ratings in my reviews) for S1 is ★★★☆☆.
Y’all, Alpha Dean showed upin this episode! Here I was thinking that this version of Dean didn’t show up until after John died, but I guess it just became permanent then because damn. Also, Bobby’s here, yay!
What I liked: All of it, dog. Can you believe this my first 5 out of 5 in the series? I’ll talk about Dean down below, but holy shit, Jensen? Alpha Dean wasn’t the only thing to come out in this episode; so did Jensen’s Oscar. Actually, fuck that, allthe acting in this episode was so insane? Not the least of which is because Azazel!John is like Negan on crack. I’m just going to end up talking about the characters, so I’m moving on.
What I didn’t like: That Azazel hurt Dean’s feelings? That Dean has to be put through so much shit? That John couldn’t have been a better father before this episode basically sentenced him to death in 2x01? That Sam was forced to lose his chance at revenge because he didn’t want to break up his family? That this episode hurt me?
There’s nothing wrong with this episode, for real. I can’t think of anything at all.
Character work: Where do I begin this essay? Honestly, and this isn’t just me being biased, most of the development was Dean’s. This episode was very much about Dean being absolutely terrified to lose his father, his family. In the beginning, when he was interrogating Meg, the rage he had literally set me back because it was so present in every gesture Dean made and every word he spoke. It’s so fascinating that Dean both ran away from the fight and ran toward it during this episode. Dean wanted to get John back before facing Azazel, but he was ready to walk into Hell to get him. And the tortured expression he has when he’s talking about the lack of remorse he feels for killing a possessed human is such a harrowing foreshadow of what he’ll feel in S4.
I also loved the acknowledgement that Dean holds his family together because that role kind of gets passed to Sam by the later seasons, even though everyone still gathers around Dean. Maybe it’s just that Sam holds Dean together so Dean can hold everyone else together. That acknowledgement comes during an episode, too, where Sam is compared to John; this mention of Dean protecting his family shows a way in which he’s like Mary. Plus, on top of all that, his greatest fears are exposed by Azazel: that his family doesn’t need him as much as he needs them, that Dean will lose his family, despite all his efforts. The shit they did with Dean this episode is something else. Some of the best development I’ve seen come out of this show.
Favorite scene: I know this is kind of a cop out because the scene was, like, a full six minutes long, but the scene where Azazel is taunting the boys before he leaves John’s body is so good. Jeffrey’s acting is so captivating, plus the pain you see on Dean’s face coupled with the confliction on Sam’s when he’s trying to decide if he should kill John or not is next level. Also, the fearthat Dean has when he thinks he’s going to die? Y’all, Dean rarely ever looks thatscared after this point, so relishing it here is where it’s at.
Favorite moment: Weird, but when the Impala gets run off the road. It’s so impactful. I’ve seen my fair share of surprise crashes in TV shows, but after all the build up during this episode, the crash at the end was timed exactlyright. It also scared the shit out of me, even though I knew it was coming.
Iconic quote: “You know, you fight and you fight for this family, but the truth is they don’t need you. Not like you need them. Sam—he’s clearly John’s favorite. Even when they fight, it’s more concern than he’s ever shown you.” That’s pain right there.
This is up there for one of the best SPN season finales. I’m hyped to continue because I’ve got a lot of stuff I’m gonna be looking out for after this episode. I know there are amazing things in the later seasons, but the story just doesn’t poplike it does in this episode.
If you want to read my season review, check it out on my blog.
Y’all, this episode is goodand nothing happened in it. Legit, it went like this: a Winchester pow-wow, a demon threat, a Winchester goodbye, John getting fucked, and Sam and Dean sitting in the Impala… with a fire at the end. That’s all, but the dialogue and the intensity? Awesome. Good penultimate episode.
What I liked:Allthe character work, but obviously, I’ll talk about that below. The tone of it was amazing, which is sort of hard to describe, but it had me hooked. I loved that Sam ran at a woman walking with her baby and used, “Your baby is gorgeous, can you please tell me how old she is?” as an opening remark to gauge whether or not she was Azazel’s next target. I also love how that lady didn’t think to say, “Okay, thank you for the compliments, tall, creepy man, please never come near my home again.”
What I didn’t like: I mean, like nothing happened. I really don’t care because it became an episode about the characters themselves, but also, I can’t talk about the episode that easily because there were like two plot points and that’s all. Okay, I’ll give a better answer: probably more should’ve gone down. I know it all comes down in the season finale, but there weren’t any events to hype up what comes next. It just set up for the finale without doing anything particularly exciting. I’m nitpicking, though, because it doesn’t really read as uneventful when you’re watching it.
Character work:IknowJohn is a dick, but this episode is so good for seeing how much he’s willing to change at this point in the story. Is it enough to redeem him? Hell no, not after all he did to the boys and what they had to do to survive. However, would he have tried to change if he’d had enough time? Yeah, and that’s pretty evident in this episode. I love that kind of shit. Also, he said, “I want Dean to have a home,” when he was talking about why he wanted to end things with Azazel so badly, and isn’t that the saddest line you’ve ever heard? Sam’s character bits were all very fatalistic and angry. He thanked Dean for being there for him because he was preparing himself to die to kill the thing that killed Jess because he had so much rage in his heart over what happened to her. That’s tight.
AndDean, oh my goodness. He is the only one in this entire equation who will not accept that anyone might die to kill this demon. That is so fascinatingto me. It’s not like Dean will ever, in future seasons, be okay with Sam dying. Sure, he’ll let Sam take a swan dive into the Cage with Lucifer, but he’s damn well still going to try to get Sam back. Sure, he’ll let Sam get beat to shit to close the gates of Hell, but not if it’s going to kill him. Sure, he’ll let Sam die so they can escape prison, but only if he’s the one who fulfills Billie’s deal of a dead Winchester afterward. But what’s so different with this episode is that he doesn’t even want himselfto die. That’s so anti-Dean Winchester. Sometimes Dean wants to die, sure, but even when he doesn’t, he’s always willingto die if he has to. This time, though, he wants family, and he’s not gonna let it be anything but all three of them.
Favorite scene: There’s a lot of good Winchester scenes, but I’d say my favorite for this episode was the scene at the end where Sam slams Dean up against the wall after Dean says no one is dying for revenge. It’s very emotional, and it’s got loads of all that good, good character development we see for the boys throughout the entire episode.
Favorite moment: There isn’t really a single moment I can think of since it was a lot of good scenes in their entirety, but if I’m gonna say one, I’ll say the moment when Dean lifts the baby out of her crib and it immediately catches on fire. A pretty close shave, if you ask me.
Iconic quote: “That evil son of a bitch ain’t getting any older than tonight, you understand me?” Again, there’s not really a lot of standalone quotes to pick from in this episode because the script itself is really good, but this one has mid-late seasons Dean energy.
Anyway, I realize I’ve made this episode mostly about Dean with my analysis, and I apologize, but what can I say? I’ve imprinted. I’m ready to finish this season for like the billionth time.
Nowwe’re getting the real shit going. Actually, everything surrounding the actual plot in this episode was sort of bland unless you’re a first-time-viewer, and then I’m sure the Colt stuff sounded super cool. I mean, it iscool, but not for the third time (which it is, for me).
What I liked: I like that John wasn’t a dick the entire time. I loved that Dean stood up to him and Sam came to understand him a bit better. The vampire getting whacked by the Colt looked cool. That’s all I’m saying here, more below.
What I didn’t like: I get that the boys’ relationship with John is strained, but a couple of the scenes in this episode just felt awkward. Like, to the point that watching it was slightly uncomfortable. Also, the scenes with the vampires in their hideout were completely unnecessary and super boring.
Character notes: I think John’s development this episode is what I enjoyed the most, even though Dean standing up to John was amazing for more than one reason. I know the entire fandom collectively hates John Winchester because of his abusive style of raising his children, and I’m not saying that’s wrong, but this episode did show us that he is aware of it. He knows he did wrong by his boys. How much that matters is up for debate considering he still tried to strongarm them out of helping with Azazel afterward, but I still think this episode had interesting implications for John. Sam understanding his pain and anger, as well, was a step in the right direction. We didn’t get a lot of time with John, so who knows if he really would’ve changed after Azazel was put down or because his boys needed a father, but seeing Sam bond with him through trauma was good.
Favorite scene: It’s probably obvious at this point, but Sam and John’s conversation about Mary’s death and how John raised Sam and Dean.
Favorite moment: I love, love, love the moment right after Dean calls John out on his bullshit of wanting them to stay out of the final fight. It’s toward the end while they’re waiting to trade Kate for the Colt. Both John andSam give Dean this look of surprise that’s so vindicating because neither of them expected Dean to have the bravery to say what he did, and Dean proved them wrong.
Iconic quote: “We’re stronger as a family, Dad. We just are.” This has major try-me-bitch energy coming from Dean, and I stan.
Can I keep it a buck and say that this episode was kind of crap for the 20th episode out of 22? SPN does this later, too, but for them to serve me an average episode right before the season finale in the first season is rude. The character work was good, though, and that’s what matters. At least John is finally here and we can get down to business.
