HAIKYUU BOYS REACTING TO THEIR DICK PRINTS SHOWING AT THE BEACH.
— seijoh version.
genre: crack.
warnings: suggestive content + swearing. all characters are aged up.
— a/n: from me and @bootylikepeachy thirsting over argentina!oikawa hehe. i’m not sure if this even makes sense but if you like these and want more let me know shskskkss.
—OIKAWA TOORU; cocky as fuck! he knows his dick is pretty, so what if you can see it? will walk out of the water in slow motion, running his hand through his hair with a smirk, before strutting across the sand with his thang thangin’. would definitely wear a speedo.
—MATSUKAWA ISSEI; is actually shy about his dick print showing. he knows that motherfucker (lmao literal mother fucker, he could pull all the milfs) is huge, so he tries to wear swim shorts that are a bit longer than usual. he’s had one traumatising experience when his dick was peaking out at the bottom of his shorts and a random dog ran up to him and licked the tip. he’s never been the same since.
—HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO; is really chill about his dick print, doesn’t really care if anyone stares. in fact, he loves to traumatise mattsun and iwa, resident prudes, by jumping up and down, swinging his dick around carelessly.
—IWAIZUMI HAJIME; he struggles the most with hiding his dick print. listen, he’s a thicc boy which means thicc thighs + wet shorts = his fat dick on show for everyone. he tries to buy bigger shorts, but they’re always tight and ride up his thighs, especially when he sits down. constantly has a towel over his lap or is shifting his dick around to make it less…prominent. never really works.
—KINDAICHI YUUTAROU;healso wants his dick print to be seen. will grab it to show it off more when girls walk past. but he’s also awkward as fuck. his shorts don’t fit right, so when he bends down to pick up shells in the sand, his dick just flops out. yeah that’s one way to get the girls’ attention.
—KUNIMI AKIRA; he doesn’t really like the beach in general, so oikawa lends him a spare speedo since he doesn’t own swimwear. swimming in the sea is a no, so he takes to laying out on the sand - will most likely nap. the boys clown him and build a mermaid tail that unsurprisingly doesn’t cover his bulge, yet when he wakes up and looks down he just shrugs and goes back to sleep. too bad he doesn’t notice the seagulls eyeing him up.
—KYOUTANI KENTAROU; him and his dick are a fucking menace at the beach. another who has his dick peaking out the bottom of his shorts, but he lives for the surprised gasps of everyone around him when the sunlight catches the glint of his pretty prince albert piercing. his print also looks a bit odd from the frenum ladder running along his shaft (what can i say, ceo of piercing his dick). is also the type to be like, “the fuck are you staring at?”
(skate rat?) matsukawa issei x fem!reader | w.c 2.5k
a/n: FUCK ok here’s my fic for da whorehouse collab <3 yes it is a sequel to flavor of the month, same reader, makki + mattsun, back at it again,,, cuck makki 2021 i guess <3 i’m so sorry it’s late, also sorry if the “smut” is uh,,,, bad ksjdfhk i did not edit this, and no beta we die like goons
alternative title: hot babysitter face fucks best friend’s wife
18+ adults
warnings:CHEATING (reader is married to makki), kids (they’re just there idk reader is a mom), degradation,face-fucking,choking, slight injury
(also known as: Oikawa, Atsumu, and Bokuto’s worst nightmare.)
They are also probably the Meme Dream Team (or the bane of team moms Iwaizumi, Aran, and Akaashi’s existences)
Reon is too nice to gossip (or, at least, no one on Shiratorizawa is clown-able enough to roast properly. But the Meme Dream Team probably knows all about Tendou’s breaking hearts songs, Semi’s bad fashion sense, Yamagata’s inability to keep track of his phone, etc.)
Imagine adding Kuroo, Tendou, Suga, Futakuchi, Komori, and Daishou to this group though… C H A O S
oikawa is such an important character to me, and I feel like I could write a whole paragraph on how much he means to me and so many other fans, but instead just have this. his friends want him to know he’s loved!!! tooru, you’ll keep on growing like the determined little fresh leaf that you are!!!! i love you!
Hey! This didn’t work the first time, so that sucks lol. But I’m back! Sorry for infrequent and/or crappy posts, but I was on vacation with my family in places where signal and internet were both rare. I’ve also picked up writing again, but anyway, I do have a jackpot of incorrect shit today. Mostly stupid stuff I’ve done. So:
Haikyuu!! Characters as stupid shit I’ve done
Noya: Was obnoxiously tired one day and got onto the train to school in his pyjamas. Didn’t notice until he got there and just played it off like everyone else missed pyjama day.
Yachi: Got yelled at by the teacher for saying sorry too much.
Makki to Mattsun: ‘So do you think furries say owo and uwu out loud?’
Mattsun responding: 'Yes, but I’m here to tell you that if you EVER say kawaii out loud unironically you are CANCELED-’
Tendou: 'Ah, fuck, I think I lost a heart!’ *5 minutes later* 'Got it back, don’t look in the kitchen. Lots of blood.’
Tsukki: 'I swear to god, if a single one of you cowards come up to me for relationship advice EVER AGAIN, I am not afraid to tell you to just go suck him off-’
Yamaguchi: 'Not everyone can remember every detail about every anxiety attack they have ever gone through. Guess I’m special ;)’
Suga, in response to Yamaguchi: 'Bro you OK?’
Yamaguchi:’:)’
Kyoutani: Has a dog, and can mimic a dog bark. Went over to his cousins’ house (younger, still lives with her mum + has 3 dogs) and barked loudly. Aunt thought that cousins dog was barking and told it to shut up.
Yahaba: quoted a vine in class and started crying from laughter when the teacher finished the sentence.
