SIX OF CROWS HAIKYUU!! VERSION just slammed into my brain at top speed and refused to leave.
First version that came into my head was this: Kuroo as Kaz, scheming and always thinking several steps ahead and manipulating others, friends and enemies. Bokuto as Jesper, powerful and has a presence, loves the adrenaline of a fight (or facing a wall of three blockers, whatever), and loud and cheerful (most of the time). Oikawa and Iwaizumi as Nina and Matthias. I probably don’t need to explain to you who is who and why. Matthiwaizumi, of course, lives to a ripe old age, happy and in love with Ninoikawa. That’s what happens, yep.
I ran into an issue with Inej and Wylan. Because to me, Akaashi is quite similar to Inej, quiet but calculating and dangerous and threatening when they want to be. Independent and supportive and unfalteringly loyal, but also keeping their counterpart honest/humble/etc. And Kenma reminds me of Wylan in that he’s not super dedicated to and in love with volleyball in the same way as the others are, like Wylan was not used to the life that the others led before Kaz pulled him in. Also, Kenma is very smart and good at thinking strategically. Wylan was very good at engineering and math, and I feel like Kenma’s video game prowess would lend itself well to learning about technology systems. And Kenma is the least physically threatening out of these six, like Wylan was among the crows. But the way the ships work, Kenma should be Inej and Akaashi should be Wylan… well, it’s an AU, anyway. Akaashinej can be pining after Bokutojesper. And after pulling him in, Kazuroo falls for Wylenma.
Terushima is Kuwei. Smart and flirtatious. Makes Kenma extremely angry by flirting with Kuroo excessively. Tried on Bokuto at first, but Akaashi and his knives put an end to that very quickly. Daishou would probably also work, plus, it would be hilarious to have him flirting incessantly with Kuroo.
Second cast of Crows (maybe they’re rivals with the first cast… ):
Well, the image of sakuatsu as helnik (matthias helvar x nina zenik? I think?) wouldn’t leave my head. Hate each other at first, warm up to each other, Sakusa/Matthias lets their guard down for the first time with Atsumu/Nina, who break their trust to save them, and when they meet again, Sakusa/Matthias absolutely hate Atsumu/Nina and hate that they still have feelings for them. Atsumu/Nina had been longing to see them again but when provoked, physically or otherwise, absolutely refuse to take that lying down and immediately fight back. Classic enemies to lovers to enemies to allied enemies to lovers. The basic staple of sakuatsu, really.
Now that I’m attached to sakuatsu helnik, might as well make it a national team (+friends) party. Hinata strikes me as the perfect Wylan, except maybe that Wylan was never that exuberant. But Hinata is so nice and friendly (unless you insult him) that he would be horrified by the cruelty and death that the Crows live with on a daily basis. But then, once he got used to it and started to really love and care for his friends/teammates, he would be the fiercest and most protective of all. Also, can you just imagine the national team looking at Hinata after he casually suggests murder a la Wylan, like, “oh my god, we’ve corrupted him,” and then having a miniature crisis? Also, he starts with natural talent, albeit with an uncontrollable disadvantage that he then turns to his advantage, becoming better than anyone hoped he could be. Hinata had extreme athletic gifts, but the disadvantage of his small height. Wylan had dyslexia but also extreme intelligence and knowledge. Plus, everyone wants to be Hinata’s dad, like how Kaz adopted Wylan.
That would make Kageyama Jesper. They both have fantastic, utterly precise, superhuman (literally in Jesper’s case) aim. Kageyama is definitely impulsive at times, but although I can totally see him gambling away all his money, I feel like that would be more because he had no idea what was going on and someone conned him into it, rather than Jesper’s addiction. Their personalities are almost complete opposites, but they both come alive the most during high pressure situations (fights/games) and perform at their best in them. They can both be offensive, although Kageyama is mainly just blunt, while if Jesper is insulting, he’s probably doing it on purpose. They both encouraged their counterparts in their own ways, and convinced them that they were valuable despite their perceived disadvantages. Kageyama was the first to treat Hinata as a serious opponent and rival, and to take him seriously. Jesper was one of the first to make Wylan feel like he was more than his inability to read and that he was, regardless of the disadvantage, incredibly smart and special. They both were condescending at first to Hinata/Wylan but grew to respect them and care for them.
I’m not sure who would be Kaz… no one on the national team really strikes me as scheming and manipulative enough to be him… Maybe Suna, but I like the idea of him as Inej. Inconspicuous at first, especially compared to their colleagues, underestimated, but very skilled. Plus, the whole Thief of Secrets thing really suits Suna’s tendency for collecting blackmail. If anyone on the national team is collecting information to use against people to gain an advantage over them, it would probably be Suna. Ship-wise, that would make Osamu Kaz but… Osamu is not like Kaz in the slightest. He’s all impulse and Kaz is all calculation. Personality wise, if we spread the candidate pool to be Japanese-born volleyball players at the Olympics, Oikawa would definitely be Kaz. Scheming, strategically turning his weaknesses into strengths, manipulating, thinking ahead, bringing out the strengths of his team, and very powerful and frightening in his own right. Ship wise though, I feel like Oikawa and Suna wouldn’t last a day. They would probably destroy each other. Maybe Iwaizumi and Osamu are two of the Dregs that come along with the group, but don’t participate in the actual heist, staying on the ship instead. There were a few of those in the book; I think Rotty and Dirix were supposed to go but one of them died when their decoy ship was attacked by Pekka Rollins. There were others but I forget who.
Komori can be Kuwei. I don’t know how smart he is, but he doesn’t have a prominent partner he’s shipped with, and I can see him flirting with everyone for the fun of it and making everyone else really mad. He and Sakusa are probably not cousins in this AU.
I left out Hoshiumi, Ushijima, Hakuba, Yaku, Hyakuzawa, and Aran, which makes me sad, but I couldn’t think of a role that would fit them well. Ushijima is (I think) their captain but he is way too himbo to be Kaz (@ him and Kageyama discussing gravity in South America). Hoshiumi would be a good Jesper but Hirugami Sachirou is too experienced and calm to be Wylan. Hyakuzawa could be Wylan, but he doesn’t have an obvious partner, I don’t remember very much about Hakuba except that he’s huge, and Aran isn’t calculating enough to be Kaz, stoic enough to be Matthias, outgoing and purposefully charming enough to be Nina or Jesper, or innocently inexperienced enough to be Wylan. I included Bokuto in the previous set of Crow volleyboy musings, so I won’t count him here. Yaku is probably waiting at the Crow Club/Slat to take care of everyone when they get back and yell at them for being stupid and reckless.
Or, using a similar cast of characters, Atsumu and Osamu split up Kaz’s character (Atsumu is the schemer and manipulator, Osamu handles the logistics of being a leader - he has his own business, he’s used to records and numbers, plus it would probably have been very useful for Kaz to have a doppelganger to use as an alibi), Sakusa and Komori split up Kuwei’s character (Komori is the chaos, Sakusa, the university graduate, is Kuwei’s scientific prowess; they can be cousins here), Suna, Hinata, and Kageyama as Inej, Wylan, and Jesper, and Ushijima as Matthias. We’ll bring Tendou on to be Nina: he is very out there and not afraid to be himself, and I can totally see him sacrificing his relationship with Ushijima to keep them both safe, and Ushijima being so hurt and confused by Tendou’s betrayal that he keeps a distance when they’re reunited and accidentally comes across as aggressive.
Anyway, if you’ve reached the end of my Six of Crows/Haikyuu!! rant, thank you for sticking around! A gold star for you! ⭐ I love the volleyboys and the Crows (the Dregs ones not the Karasuno ones, although I love them too) very much and they take up much of my mental real estate.
Ok, so, imagine how intense MSBY vs. EJP games would be.
Like we have Bokuto vs. Washio, Atsumu vs. Suna, and Sakusa vs. Komori. MSBY vs. EJP: Family Feud.
(how much you wanna bet that Akaashi and Osamu are dying of laughter in the audience/onigiri stand? alternatively, Osamu having a mild crisis over who to support. On one hand, Atsumu is his lifelong companion and twin brother. On the other hand, Atsumu is a bastard and Suna is his… soulmate? while Akaashi just gazes at Bokuto. he respects and appreciates Washio but come on. did he memorize a list of 37+ of Washio’s weaknesses and ways to make him feel better and draw out his full potential? did he choose a high school based on watching Washio play? did he call Washio a star?)
I was reading a twin incorrect quotes post about one telling the other “YOU’RE ADOPTED” in the middle of a fight. as it tends to do, upon hearing twins, I immediately thought of the Twinyards.
And then, immediately realized how many reasons there were that this would never happen with them.
Aaron and Andrew deserved better. Tilda sucks. Nothing new here.
And yes, the twin post I mentioned did feature Atsumu and Osamu. Imagine they meet the Twinyards at the summer Olympics or something and the Miyas are doing their usual fighting and
Atsumu: you know what?
Atsumu: YOU’RE ADOPTED.
Osamu: if I’m adopted, then you’re adopted dumbass.
Aaron:
Aaron: you always fight like that?
Atsumu: yeah, don’t tell me you’ve never yelled that at your brother.
Andrew, completely deadpan: I’m adopted.
Aaron: …yeah, he is adopted so, not as effective.
Everyone else, by now knowing that Andrew is not one to joke or lie for the hell of it, looking from Andrew to Aaron in confusion and concern:
Neil: you know what?
Neil: just don’t worry about it.
alternatively:
Atsumu, to Osamu: YOU’RE ADOPTED.
Aaron: wait, really? he is?
Atsumu, giving Aaron a funny look: uhh… no… of course not.
Osamu: even with the hair, I would’ve thought it was pretty obvious that we were twins?
Aaron, offended that his intelligence is in question: oh, yeah, of course you’re twins, I wasn’t questioning that. it’s just that-
Andrew: I’m adopted.
Miya twins, staring at the clearly identical Twinyards:
Andrew: it was a bit of a shock for us too. but especially for his mother. thought she would get away with it forever.
Aaron: OUR mother
Andrew: no, definitely just your mother.
Aaron, casually: oh, well, I’ve been calling it matricide, should I just call it homicide instead?
Andrew: call it whatever you want.
Miya twins: what
Neil: I wouldn’t call it either. more like suicide, it’s not like she couldn’t see it coming.
Miya twins: w h a t
Matt: Jesus fucking Christ you three, you can’t just say stuff like that!
Miya twins, and everyone in the surrounding area: W H A T
