When it comes to Black women’s hairstyles/protective styles, I do not want to see non-Black women wearing them. Here’s why:

Our hair is such a huge part of our history, our identity,our Black excellence, and our regality. Read that again. This is constantly trying to be taken away from us.

It’s really frustrating that this is another thing that we can’t have to ourselves. It’s not fair for that to be taken by others. Non-Black women do not have to worry about being discriminated againstorpoliced for wearing our protective styles and could really care less while they’re walking around carefree in costume. All they think is, well it looks good on Black women so I want to try it. Those who use “cultural appreciation” as an excuse think they’re doing us a favor when they really could have just appreciated from a distance instead of crossing the line.

To me, it sends the messages of “this isn’t yours, this is ours now”, “you can’t have something without us having a part in it as well”, or “joke’s on you for thinking you can have a part of your culture without us getting a piece too”. It’s no different from how every other aspect of our lives and bodies have been policed and controlled throughout history.

My hair is another aspect that I love about being a Black woman but as Black women know, we can’t love being Black women, we’re not allowed to be comfortable, we’re not allowed to feel beautiful, we’re not allowed to own our beauty without someone taking offense. I wish that non-Black women, non-black people, and even Black people would try to understand this.

ETA: Non-black women includes non-Black women of color. Not exempt.

Sometimes you really just have to let some people be in their damn feelings!

While your intentions are good, offering unwarranted solutions when someone’s feeling low AF can often times dig a deeper hole, ex: more negative thoughts, bring on anxiety/increase anxiety, feeling misunderstood, feeling incapable while also feeling pressure (ex: omg I have to try to bring myself to do XYZ to get out of this episode when I’m already struggling with X?!), etc.

What I mean by unwarranted solutions is saying things like, “I did this and it worked”, “you should try this”, “that’s tough…. BUT have you thought about”….

JEEZUS MAKE IT STOP!!!

Okay… but how do I know whether to give my input or not?

When someone’s venting to you, ask them if they’d like your input/advice or if they prefer you to just listen.

If they want you to just listen, JUST LISTEN. Don’t feel like you need to solve a problem or provide therapy unless you’re actually their therapist!

‼️However, if this person is in harm (this also includes harming themselves) and the situation is detrimental to their well being, definitely do not take a back seat! Listen to what they’re telling you, sometimes it’s not just venting.‼️

A listening ear sometimes, especially from a friend, is more than enough. Let them be in their damn feelings! #respectfully