“I never knew I needed you

Before I found you for the first time,

I’m out of step, I’m off my feet

I’m waking up inside a dream”

Angel, Finneas

Black girls:

- Your features are not ugly

- Hype yourself up like no other

- Your feelings are completely valid

- Prioritize your mental health and sanity

- You are allowed to decline in or order to prioritize your mental health

- Allow yourself to be vulnerable. You are allowed to be vulnerable

- “Struggle love” is not normal and you don’t deserve it

- Write down your needs, talk yourselves through them, and get comfortable with stating them to others

You got this.✨✨✨

Get yourself friends that validate your traumatic experiences, thoughts, and feelings instead of questioning them.

Reminder: You deserve to feel mentally, physically, & emotionally safe. ✨✨✨

To all my Black girls out there, please know that you are loved and that you do not always have to show up for others, especially in a society that doesn’t always show up for you.

Reminder:

I am the prize✨

Friendly reminder:

Your happiness and mental health has to be a priority. If something isn’t aligning with that, speak up. If you’ve communicated this and nothing has changed, start preparing to walk away.

You do not have to live in misery in order to be a “stronger person”. Don’t let society make you think this. Our history is already built on trauma, you don’t need further trauma in your relationships, your profession, etc. You can be happy and you can be mentally safe without having to endure a ton of pain.

In order for you to be the best you can be, you have to be in an environment that will allow you to do this.

Happy Black History Month ❤️

Here’s to:

- working on your mental health

- developing your confidence

- drinking more water

- not allowing others to walk over you

- getting your fitness routine going

- incorporating healthier foods to your diet

- setting realistic goals and expectations for yourself

- working on being a better communicator

- believing in yourself

- being kind to yourself

- just taking care of you

You got this. ✨✨✨

When it comes to Black women’s hairstyles/protective styles, I do not want to see non-Black women wearing them. Here’s why:

Our hair is such a huge part of our history, our identity,our Black excellence, and our regality. Read that again. This is constantly trying to be taken away from us.

It’s really frustrating that this is another thing that we can’t have to ourselves. It’s not fair for that to be taken by others. Non-Black women do not have to worry about being discriminated againstorpoliced for wearing our protective styles and could really care less while they’re walking around carefree in costume. All they think is, well it looks good on Black women so I want to try it. Those who use “cultural appreciation” as an excuse think they’re doing us a favor when they really could have just appreciated from a distance instead of crossing the line.

To me, it sends the messages of “this isn’t yours, this is ours now”, “you can’t have something without us having a part in it as well”, or “joke’s on you for thinking you can have a part of your culture without us getting a piece too”. It’s no different from how every other aspect of our lives and bodies have been policed and controlled throughout history.

My hair is another aspect that I love about being a Black woman but as Black women know, we can’t love being Black women, we’re not allowed to be comfortable, we’re not allowed to feel beautiful, we’re not allowed to own our beauty without someone taking offense. I wish that non-Black women, non-black people, and even Black people would try to understand this.

ETA: Non-black women includes non-Black women of color. Not exempt.

✨Break generational curses & set yourself up for success professionally, financially, etc. ✨

blackgirlliberated:

Black women deserve to be taken care of vs always being the caretakers.

Read that again.

Love the support behind this post!

This is a post about emotional and physical safety. There are different forms of caretaking - emotional, physical, etc. This isn’t a post about literally being taken care of, however, there’s nothing wrong if this post resignated with you in that way. In our culture, Black women have always been the matriarchs, and with that, our health, safety, and needs fall to the side. Many have seen this with their grandmothers, mothers, sisters, themselves, etc. It is the norm for many.

Black women are also seen as being “strong” as if we don’t feel pain so we don’t need to be tended to… we’ve seen our physical and mental safety be disregarded especially in the healthcare system and we’ve been gaslighted even in our own community.

This post is a reminder that you deserve to have your emotional and physical well-being cared for, this shouldn’t be one-sided.

In order to see change, mindsets that have been held for a long time need to change and awareness needs to be brought. Tags like #blackgirlsmatter and #supportblackwomen exist for a reason.

Black women deserve to be taken care of vs always being the caretakers.

Read that again.

As I reflect on the past 1-2 years, some of the things that I’ve committed to myself still stand true.

What are some things you’re committing to yourself in the New Year?

Sometimes you really just have to let some people be in their damn feelings!

While your intentions are good, offering unwarranted solutions when someone’s feeling low AF can often times dig a deeper hole, ex: more negative thoughts, bring on anxiety/increase anxiety, feeling misunderstood, feeling incapable while also feeling pressure (ex: omg I have to try to bring myself to do XYZ to get out of this episode when I’m already struggling with X?!), etc.

What I mean by unwarranted solutions is saying things like, “I did this and it worked”, “you should try this”, “that’s tough…. BUT have you thought about”….

JEEZUS MAKE IT STOP!!!

Okay… but how do I know whether to give my input or not?

When someone’s venting to you, ask them if they’d like your input/advice or if they prefer you to just listen.

If they want you to just listen, JUST LISTEN. Don’t feel like you need to solve a problem or provide therapy unless you’re actually their therapist!

‼️However, if this person is in harm (this also includes harming themselves) and the situation is detrimental to their well being, definitely do not take a back seat! Listen to what they’re telling you, sometimes it’s not just venting.‼️

A listening ear sometimes, especially from a friend, is more than enough. Let them be in their damn feelings! #respectfully

About this blog

A space that captures the thoughts, struggles, highs and lows from Black girls. I want this to be a safe space where Black girls can feel supported, heard, and have a sounding board to say what’s on their mind. A safe space where we can feel liberated.

I also want to make it interactive so I’ll eventually ask for y’all to submit thoughts, celebrations, milestones, fears, etc. and I’ll post them to this account and Instagram (will post anonymously).

While the blog and IG will have Black women at the top of mind, allies, you are more than welcome to follow! Allies are an integral part of getting underrepresented groups heard and I appreciate y’all for the work you do! I’m sure there will be some content that allies can relate to, however, that is not the main point which is to give Black girls a safe space to share and be heard.

There will definitely be content that I’m sure everyone can learn from which is most important.

Follow on Instagram - BGL

Content coming soon