My intrusive thoughts have been getting way worse and its all because of that stupid little bitch still being there.. Its like salt in a wound, it burns.. Thats why I strongly believe he has to die. I want him gone. Do you understand that?

Its such a pleasant feeling to make something for the person you love, and put your whole heart in it.. Literally.. And they love it~!<3

Written on 14/02/22

Darling..

I would have rotted all the way to my bones. I wouldve cough up blood and vomit out my organs.. My skin would feel so cold and numb,, A true lifeless husk walking amongst men.. But you, my Darling, you give me purpose. You, Sunshine, make my life have a true meaning. Everything I have is because of you, my Love.

Nothing else holds any meaning to me, others are just a waste of space. Only you matter, it was always you who was important to me. Your presence makes my eyes glow and my heart fall into a palpitating mess.. To me, youre way more than a person I love. Its not just love, its obsession. A sick desire. I need to have you.

How is it that I cry each time I thank you for always being with me. Why do I break down into a sobbing, pathetic little thing while thinking just how lucky I am to have you all for myself.. I simply cant believe how overwhelmingly happy you make me. Its hard to not get filled with pure euphoria when I see a message from the one I love so dearly.

Sometimes I think of a way to hold you closer to my heart without splitting my ribs apart and forcing you to hold my heart close to yours so they can beat together in sync.. Thank you for spending each day with me and making this Valentines Day the most special Ive ever had. I cant wait for more days, as every second with you is a pure blessing my love.

I love you.

I just want to be good enough for you,, Is that what I have to do to make you notice me.. To make you care about me..? If thats really what it takes to be loved by you then Ill do it.. I want to be in your arms so bad,, I need you to come to me and tell me that you need me just as much as I need you.. Please come to me,, Ill try my best not to disappoint you,, I really just want your love.. Why cant you see that? Darling please.. Dont make me beg,,

Say,, Do you even think about me throughout your day? Do you wonder what Im doing? Do you think if Im okay? Because I think about you all the time,, thats why I did what I did.. Because I was thinking about you,, I did it all for you my love..

Im so sorry for having bad days,, Im sorry for being sad,, Ill try to not do that again, just please promise me that youre not mad at me.. I want to see you smile, I want you to be happy that youre next to me.. Darling please..

st0nebutch:

Darling,, you know I want you only for myself.. But you should belong to me, my dear, thats how it should be.. Call me a stupid, selfish idiot for thinking this way, as long as you put “my” in front of it..<3

You know how much I adore when you call me all those sweet things.. To you its probably not even a big deal, huh? I know Im just a nobody,, But you still care so much about me.. That must mean something, right?

Right? Tell me Im not being delusional.. Please..

I want to give you flowers, I want to spend hours writing letters for you and send you paragraphs on how important you are to me.. I really need you..I know I tell you that you mean so much to me a lot but do you really understand that I mean it? Do you know to what degree I care about you? Can you imagine what I mean when I say I would doanything for you? Youre always so sweet to me.. Do I truly deserve you? Heh.. Even if I dont.. I wont let you go now. I will never let you leave. Its not like youd ever want to leave me in the first place, right?<3

Do you really think you can just leave whenever you want? Do you really think Ill let you just go whenever you please? Darling, dont be fucking stupid.. Dont make me do things we both might regret.. You dont want me to lock you up, do you?

You know Im not the person to negotiate.. Especially not when it comes to my most precious gem.. I told you numerous times, you cant leave my dear. I refuse to be left alone again. I refuse to just let you walk around without a thought.. You need to understand only I am good for you, Ill never hurt you.. Ill be the best for you! I promise! Just dont try to leave.. Or else Ill cut your legs so you wont run..

Make the right choice my love..

You really make me feel wanted.. Like Im not just some nobody.. That I actually matter to you, the person I care so deeply for..I cant help but craveyou..Maybe I shouldnt feel this way.. Is it wrong? Do you want me? Im not just delusional.. Right?

You said Im special.. I cant believe you actually think that way about me.. Youll make me cry.. Please stay by my side.. I feel like without you Ill just fall apart.. I need you..

Promise youre not like others.. Promise you wont just use me, get bored and leave me..

I dont think Im able to take being left alone again..

I will die without you, darling. <3

How can I possibly not be jealous over everybody that has ever been near you..

:

I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you

Fuckfuckfuck what did you do to me.. Why do I feel like this around you?! WHY AM I LIKE THIS WHEN YOURE AWAY?? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME?! I cant function without you.. I cant fucking think of anything else.. Only you.. Is this what insanity tastes like? Or maybe its just dependence.. Or even desperation,, I am desperate for your love.. I need it.. I need you. Its not okay to be this selfish is it? I cant have you completely to myself.. BUT I WANT TO AND I WONT STOP UNTIL I GET WHATS ALREADY MINE~ My head was spinning so bad today~! I feel like Im intoxicated on you..! I love you! Uh.. Where are you my dear.. Oh yes, youre asleep.. I told you to go to sleep.. And youre my sunshine, of course you listened.. Today.. I was thinking a lot.. About you, us and love.. I came to a simple conclusion. You, my love, are the only one who can calm me down.. Thank you<3

You called me your cute little puppy.. You called me your good boy.. You will make my heart explode darling! You said you love when I talk about you! That you love me!!! You said that I cant even think of leaving you or youll hurt me! Youre so sweet! You want me all for yourself! Ah please say that over and over! You want to lock me up away from everybody! Make me dependant of you! Make me think only about you! Make me yours forever my love!! Youre so perfect for me!

Did.. Did you just confess to me? Say it again.. Those 3 magic words.. You cant possibly mean it in a romantic way! Dont get my hopes up!.. But you mean it? You do? You really do? You blocked him? Like I told you? You did it because I told you to do it.. Hehe.. You love me, you really do.. Ah you called me sweet.. That you want to protect me.. Be mine then, be mine forever.. Ah you finally told me how you feel ny darling, you did!! My sweet you have no idea how happy you just made me! Please keep me as yours for the end of time and longer. I love you too darling! I love you I really do!

Now promise you will stay with me forever. I will keep you close to my heart.

My darling, why do you let him do this to you? You are being so mistreated.. Cant you see his using you? He doesnt care about you, he doesnt love you. He never did and never will. I know it hurts you dear, Im sorry but you must understand that he doesnt deserve you.

It hurts me even more when youre trying to justify his disgusting behaviour.. Why do you care about him so much? Cant you see what hes doing to you?

Stop being blind! Stop acting like he will change! Hes not good for you! He will never be as good as me! You said it yourself that I would treat you better! Isnt that something you want? Leave him! LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM!!!

oh it’s this excruciatinglybeautiful feeling of love again.

It has been a while since I’ve felt this lovelyfeeling.

it’s like your heart is concentrated in sin

that feels so good youcould smell your brain frying.

wesimply cannot help but laugh and play along

unsure of the risks of the game’s reward

whether it ends in mutilation, or a happy song

we’ll gladly take the punishment or award.

…as long as the feeling of lufemania continues with you by my side.

how will he forgive me if he won’t hurt me?