If The World Was Ending- John B

(Not my gif, credit to the owner!)

A/n: I’VE MISSED YOU GUYS! I broke my phone and I had to wait the whole month before my new phone got shipped in. But I’m back and I’m so excited to keep writing!

Summary: Inspired by If The World Was Ending by JP Saxe and Julia Michael’s + Laying On My Porch While We Watch The World End by Powfu.

Word count: 1,510

Warnings: cursing

John B sat in his van as he let out a string of curse words from his lips. His entire life living in the Outer Banks he had never seen so much traffic in front of his eyes. It was a one way street with about 20 cars in front of him going 10 miles under the speed limit. He reached over and hovered his hand over the passenger’s seat before it fell limp onto the cushion.

He felt the small impact of the fabric, sighing as he shook his head to clear his thoughts. It seemed as if it were yesterday when you were in the passenger’s seat, his hand placed on your thigh; tracing the letters of the alphabet onto your skin. His eyes fell onto the empty seat as he let out a loud sigh, running his hand through his hair.

You two were high school sweethearts, started dating in 9th grade but split up after high school graduation. You two had a conversation about your future together, whether you guys would want marriage and kids. You had told him you weren’t ready for marriage and you weren’t sure if you ever would be. His heart was crushed by your words, wondering if you were ever really in love with him. You had always loved him, but you knew you weren’t ready to spend forever with him. You both said you two would stay in touch; that was one year ago.

He was too caught up in his thoughts and memories to process the road underneath his car began to shake and rumble. The only thing that snapped him out of his trance was hearing quite a few screams of fear. Only then did he realize that there was an earthquake happening. He sat in the driver’s seat, frozen in fear as he immediately thought of you. 

He wondered where you were and if you were safe. Maybe you were out at the bar drinking, maybe you were in your house watching television in the living room. His grip on the steering wheel tightened as he felt his van shake fiercely, wishing you were there to calm him down; and that’s when he realized something. If the world was ending, he would want to be with you. 

He would want you in his arms, talking with you as if nothing was happening. He wouldn’t be afraid to tell you he loves you, he wouldn’t be terrified to tell you that he never stopped. Everything he feared, he didn’t care about as long as he was with you. He wouldn’t even dare to say goodbye to you in the final minute, knowing he would wake up on the other side with you in his arms. 

He was hesitant while wondering if the world ended, would you want to be with him as well? 

_

You sat on the edge of your couch watching as ‘breaking news’ was written across your television. The earthquake didn’t frighten you, it didn’t make you run for cover. You sat on your couch with your head in your hands, your thoughts immediately finding their way to think about John B. You wondered if he was scared, worried, or unbothered like you were.

You turned your head to the empty spot on the couch next to you. Trying to fight back, you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the memory of John B laying upside down with his feet dangling in the air as his face turned a beet red. You could have your eyes closed in a room full of a thousand people; yet still be able to pick out his laugh, reminiscing on the amount of times you caused it. 

Recalling a memory from one night, the sound of your drunken laughter mixed with his echoed in your head. 

You drunkenly thanked the uber driver, complimenting her hair before exiting the car. John B joined your side, apologizing to her for having to drive the drunken couple home. She offered a warm goodbye before driving out of your driveway. 

You shoved your hand into your purse, fingers pushing objects around until you found your house keys. John B giggled loudly before you held your index finger up to your lips, “shh! My neighbors hate me enough as it is.” You mumbled, biting your lip to hold back your laughter. “Y/n, how much shit do you have in your purse,” he started, “seriously! You shove your hand in there and it’s like a trip to Narnia!" 

You cackled at his words, immediately covering your mouth with your hand as you pulled your keys out. Fiddling with the item you tried inserting the key into the lock, missing it 3 times before you were able to insert it. You unlocked the door and pushed it open, nearly stumbling over as you forced the door.

Turning around you flipped the lights on in your kitchen, both of you groaning out in pain as the bright lights blinded you both. He covered both your eyes and his with his hands as you quickly switched them back off. John B pulled out a chair at the kitchen table, aiming to sit down in the seat only to miss it completely as he fell to the floor.

You covered your mouth as you began cackling at your boyfriend’s mishap. Doubling over from laughter, your face turned red as you couldn’t catch your breath. "Are-are you-you ok-” you couldn’t finish your sentence as his laughter got louder than yours. You fell to your knees and joined his side, cupping the side of his face. Your laughter slowly died down with his as his eyes looked into yours. “You’re so beautiful.” He slurred, gently holding the bottom of your chin as he kissed you.

Returning the action, you sighed in content at the feelings of his lips against yours. He released you which allowed you to snuggle into his chest. Your eyes slowly fell shut as you quietly fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat on your kitchen floor. 

_

You smiled softly to yourself, shutting off the TV before leaning back against the cushion. You sat there in silence for a few minutes before a rapid knock echoed from your front door. Slowly getting up you headed towards the sound before unlocking the door and opening it. You could barely process who was in front of you before he tackled you in a hug.

The smell of his cologne immediately made your eyes water, not realizing how much you missed him. Your eyes watered as you felt him hold the back of your head as your fingers clutched onto the fabric of his shirt. The sound of him sniffling made your heart ache with pain. You felt like you were frozen in place, like your body turned cold. “You’re safe.” He spoke to himself, thanking the Lord that you were okay. Slowly pulling himself away from you, his brown eyes searched into your E/C ones. You got lost in his for a moment before inviting him inside.

He sat next to you on the couch turning his body to face you. “I miss you.” You let the words glide off your tongue before you could stop yourself. His eyes widened at your confession, his tongue swiped across his bottom lip; a habit he had when he got nervous. “When I felt the earthquake, I realized something. I realized that if the world was ending I would want you to come over. I’d want you to stay the night, even if you fell out of love with me I just want to be with you. You made me feel alive, and that’s all I’d be able to focus on even if we were about to die." 

Exhaling loudly, you caught your breath as his eyes filled with tears. "I’m sorry if that was too much or didn’t make sense-” John B quickly reached forward and held the side of your face, kissing you passionately as you held his wrist in place. The feeling of euphoria ran through your body, goosebumps appeared on your arms as you felt him grin into the kiss. You pulled back from him to catch your breath, resting your forehead against his.

“I could be falling to my doom but I would be smiling because you have made me the happiest person. There could be meteors flying across the sky, buildings could be falling down and on fire, chaos could be everywhere but I wouldn’t give a single care in the world because I’m safe with you. I know you said you weren’t ready for marriage, but that never stopped me from loving you even after we broke up.” He whispered, his breath fanning over your lips.

“I never stopped loving you either, and this whole thing showed me that I am ready for marriage. I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you.” You muttered, a wide grin appeared on his lips. “Really?” Your grin mirrored his, “really.”

Death Bed (Coffee for Your Head)- Rafe Cameron

(Not my gif, credit to the owner!)

Summary: Based on Death Bed (Coffee for Your Head) by Powfu and Beabadoobe

Word count: 3,181

Warnings: (Lung) Cancer, hospitalization, cursing, sadness, mentions of death, death.

I sobbed writing this I’m not gonna lie

Don’t stay awake for too long, don’t go to bed. I’ll make a cup of coffee for your head, I’ll get you up and going out of bed.

Rafe Cameron sat there in the doctor’s office, his eyes glazed over and his jaw slacked as the doctor stared at him with a pitied look. Six words repeated in his mind, ‘you have stage four lung cancer’. He was only 22, how did this happen so soon? 

He rubbed his hands over his face vigorously, cracking his knuckles after he stopped. “How long do I have?” “Some people don’t survive more than 12 months, and if you’re lucky, the latest I’ve seen is 5 years but that’s with every single treatment."  He flared his nostrils as he held back his tears, he wanted to be around one person and one person only; you. 

Rafe showed up at your door after his appointment, a bouquet of rose’s in his hand and a card in the other. You grinned at his kind gesture, your heart swelling with joy. He thought he would have to plaster a smile on his face, but the moment he saw you, a genuine smile appeared on his face. For the slightest moment, he forgot that he was dying.

You two spent the night together, cuddling and watching movies. Rafe held you close to him, his fingers skimming every part of your body, wanting to relish the feeling of you under his fingers. He checked the time and realized it was 3 in the morning and he was still awake. 

You shifted in your spot before turning your body to face his, your hand reaching up and combing his blonde locks out of his face. "Don’t stay awake for too long baby, you need rest.” You mumbled, half asleep. “I know, I know. I just have a bad headache.” He lied. Truth is, he wanted to stay awake and just admire how you looked next to him, curled up in his chest, allowing him to see your natural beauty.

“I’ll make you a cup of coffee in the morning and I have plenty of ibuprofen to share.” You grinned, pressing a delicate kiss to his neck. “Goodnight, my love.” He whispered as he kissed your forehead in return, watching you fall back into your sleep.

I don’t wanna fall asleep, I don’t wanna pass away. I’ve been thinking of our future 'cause I’ll never see those days.

Rafe rubbed his eyes with his hands as he yawned, today was his third day without sleeping. He told you that he just kept waking up in the middle of the night but eventually he did go back to sleep. You believed him, offering any help to find resolutions but he politely denied them.

Truth was, everytime he fell asleep he had dreams about your future with him. The most recent one he had was of you two, married with two children. You two had moved out of the Outer Banks, wanting a new start. In this dream, he survived the cancer so he wanted a fresh start. Away from the toxic memories he had from that town.

It pained him every time he had a thought about your future, at least what he wanted your future with him to be. He wanted to make you so happy, he wanted to be the reason you woke up every morning and vice versa. You were his everything, and it killed him to know that soon it would come to an end.

I don’t know why this has happened but I probably deserve it. I tried to do my best but you know that I’m not perfect.

You sat down on the couch, legs criss crossed as Rafe paced back and forth in front of you. He was mumbling to himself as you sat there confused, trying to calm down the nerves you knew he had. You didn’t know what was going on which only worried you.

“Rafe, baby just sit next to me and talk to me.” He sat down next to you, his elbows resting on his knees, terrified to look you in the eyes. You scooted closer to him and grabbed one of his hands, “breathe.” Was all you said before he closed his eyes, deeply inhaling and exhaling for a few seconds before turning and looking at you.

You could finally see how scared he was, he looked like he hadn’t slept, his eyes were pink and watery, the bags under his eyes were a light purple. You turned your body to face him, “Rafe, what’s wrong?” He turned to you, mirroring the way you were sitting. “I have stage four lung cancer." 

His words felt like you fell face first in cement from a fifty foot drop. "W-what?” You stuttered, your voice just above a whisper. He nodded his head as he watched your eyes release tears. Your mouth fell open but you quickly covered it with your hand. You tried to speak but the only sound you could make was a gasping sound, like a fish out of water.

“I have maybe 12 months to live.” Your mouth was dry, your heart felt like it was somehow racing and stopping at the same time. Your world felt like it fell out of space and shattered. You wanted to know how long he knew, but it didn’t matter. Moral of the story was that you wanted him to live a good life for as long as he lived, and that’s what you were gonna do. 

You didn’t say anything, you simply crawled to him and straddled his lap. Your arms wrapped around his neck and he held your waist, allowing you two to cry into each other’s necks. He held you like if he were to let go, you would disappear forever.

“I got you Rafe, I got you.“ Your hand reached up and entangled itself in his hair, gently massaging it. "Why did this have to happen? Right when I was finally feeling happy.” He screamed into your neck. 

“I don’t hunny. I don’t know.” You whispered.

I’ve been praying for forgiveness, you’ve been praying for my health. When I leave this Earth, hoping you’ll find someone else.

Rafe turned his head to look at you, making sure you were fast asleep before he slowly got out of bed. Replacing his body with a pillow, he snuck out of the room and outside of your house.

He made his way to the backyard and sat down on the grass, laying back as he looked up at the stars. He took a deep breath before speaking out loud. “Hi, uh- God. I don’t know how this works, I don’t know how to pray or even if you’re up there, but if you are I need you to hear what I have to say.”

A star above him shined brighter for a split second before disappearing behind a cloud. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for the disrespectful and disgusting teenager I was. I’m sorry for all the horrible things I did to my body. I’m sorry for the crimes I committed and never got caught. I admit to everything I have done wrong, I understand why you’re taking it out on me. But please, leave Y/N out of this. She is the light of my life, the reason I was able to find happiness. Please don’t take my actions out on her, make her fall out of love with me or something. Just…just something to ease her pain. Please.”

•

Rafe was out at the grocery store, leaving you plenty of time to head over to the neighborhood church. You walked out of your car with sunglasses on so people couldn’t see your red and watery eyes. You excused yourself as you shimmied through a small group of people.

You walked into the chapel and sat down in one of the pews. You removed your sunglasses before looking up at the front of the room. You let out a puff of air before speaking out loud. “Hi, God. I really don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m even trying to talk to you. But I just, I’m so desperate and I just need your help. Please, please help Rafe. Help him at least live longer than a year, he wasn’t the best person when he was a teenager, you know that. But he’s changed into a whole new person, he knows how he was before and he hates it now. Please help him recover through this, help him pull through because I need him here. He was the one I was supposed to marry, the one who would be the father of my children, the one to help give me my happy ending. Please.”

When I leave this Earth hoping you’ll find someone else, 'cause yeah, we’re still young there’s so much we haven’t done.

You shook your head at Rafe’s words as you wiped your tears away with your hands. “No, there’s no way.” You cried out. He grabbed both your wrists and made you look at him. “Y/N, you have to listen to me. I don’t want you to grieve or mourn, I want you to keep going. Find a new love, I don’t want you to be alone. You need to find a new love, start a new story with them. Please baby, I beg you." 

You squeezed your eyes closed, your throat felt like it was slowly shutting. Your heart felt like it had been stabbed after hearing his words. You knew he had a point, you knew you couldn’t mourn over him the rest of your life, but just hearing it so soon pained you more than you could ever imagine. 

Getting married, start a family, watch your husband with his son. I wish it could be me but I won’t make it off this bed.

Another night where Rafe couldn’t sleep, this being his 6th one in a row. He looked at you while you slept and admired the way the moonlight entered the window. The way the light cascaded down your face, highlighting some of your facial features. 

He slept maybe an hour, however he had a dream that woke him up. He dreamed that you got married to another man, watching as he took care of your son. He felt his heart pang with pain knowing that would be the harsh reality they would soon have to face. 

It felt like his body was there, he knew he was there, but it felt like his soul was floating out of him as he watched you be happy with a random stranger. He watched as you scooped your son up in your arms, spinning around as he let out cheerful giggles.

Rafe watched your husband who looked just as happy as you did. He hated that you were happy with someone else, but he knew you would be in good hands with your husband. He just had to pray that you’ll meet someone who loves you just as much as he did.

I hope I go to heaven so I see you once again. My life was kinda short but I got so many blessings. Happy you were mine, it sucks that it’s all ending.

Rafe had spent the next few months trying to make up for some of the shitty things he did in his teen years. He’s been donating to the pour, volunteering at local shelters and soup kitchens, randomly picking garbage up from the highway. He was trying to do anything and everything to make sure he could go to heaven.

He had no clue if heaven or hell were real, but if they do exist he would do anything he could to make sure he got into heaven. After he dies, he knew that was his one chance to see you again. He knew one day he would wake up on the other side and you would be there, running to him to give him the hug both of you had been desperately craving.

I’m happy that you’re here with me, I’m sorry if I tear up. When me and you were younger, you would always make me cheer up.

You softly knocked on the hospital room door, walking through the doorway with a tray of cafeteria food. "Hey baby, I brought you a sandwich and blue jello.” He smiled at you, “my favorite.” He subtly laughed before coughing harshly. You rushed over to his side and placed the tray down, grabbing one of the napkins to wipe away the small drops of blood that escaped his mouth.

“I got you baby, it’s okay.” You mumbled, passing him a glass of water as his coughing died down. You sat down in the seat next to him, watching him poke his sandwich before taking a small bite out of it. He sighed before dropping the sandwich back onto the plate, his eyes already crying. He sniffled as he covered his face with his hands, ashamed to be in the spot he was in right now.

You reached forward and grabbed onto his hand, rubbing his knuckles with your thumb as he tightened his grip. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered. You shook your head trying to fight back your tears. “Don’t apologize baby, I’m right here.” “And I’m so fucking happy you are." 

You held his hand, looking down at his fingers as you played with them. "Remember back in 8th grade when I got into a really bad argument with my dad after he married Rose? I was so angry and upset, and I ran right to your house. But you were right there to help me, you cheered me up in a matter of seconds of me being with you. That was one of the first times I truly knew how happy you made me.” He recalled the memory, thinking about it like it was yesterday.

Taking goofy videos while walking through the park. You would jump into my arms every time you heard a bark.

You pulled up your snapchat and pressed record. You and Rafe decided to go to the local park to just go on the playground equipment. There was nobody around, even if there was when you were with him you felt like you two were the only ones there.

You recorded the video as Rafe pushed you on the swing set, you turned the camera to face you, zooming in on the large smile on his face. You pumped your legs up, accidentally kicking him in the stomach. The video got the whole thing and his reaction. You jumped off the swing and turned around to see him hunched over and groaning. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” You quickly apologized, trying to help him stand up straight. He laughed loudly, his bright smile never left his face. “That was so fucking funny!” You joined him in laughing, enjoying the moment. He held you closely by the waist as you held his elbows. “God, I am so in love with you.” He muttered before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. 

•

“Okay shut up that was one time and it was a dare!” You defended yourself, jokingly pushing his shoulder. He brought up the story about how you ran down the block fully naked one night in senior year. Your laugh stopped the moment you heard a loud bark echoing in the distance. 

Your hand quickly reached down to grab his as your head turned in different directions to see where the sound came from. Rafe stopped walking and stood in front of you. “Hey, hey it’s okay. It was just a dog.” You nodded your head before letting out a shaky breath.

His free hand reached up and held the side of your face, “I got you Y/N. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

Cuddle in your sheets, sing me sound asleep. And sneak out through your kitchen at exactly 1:03. 

You hushed Rafe as he whispered to you. Rafe had been your boyfriend for the last 2 months, however you hadn’t told your parents about him yet which meant sneaking around if you wanted to be with him. You figured out a way to sneak him into your house without your parents knowing.

He tiptoed into your room before flinging himself onto your bed. He wasted no time in wrapping himself in your sheets, his arms wide open waiting for you to join him. You laid down next to him, watching as he looked at you with puppy eyes and his bottom lip pouting. “Which song tonight?” He thought for a minute, “Fix You by Coldplay." 

You shifted in your spot so Rafe could rest his head on your chest, your hand reached yo to play with his hair. "When you try your best but you don’t succeed…” you quietly sang to him. You continued until you heard his soft snores escape his lips. You shut your eyes and allowed yourself to fall asleep with him.

•

You were woken up by the feeling of his lips against yours, mumbling 'wake up’ against them. “I’m awake.” You muttered, rubbing your eyes. “I gotta head home."  You nodded before flinging the sheets off of your body. You held his hand in yours before quietly opening your bedroom door. You led him down the halls and to your garage door. 

He spun you around so you could face him, his hands finding your waist as you roped your arms around his neck. "See you tomorrow?” He questioned, “absolutely.” You leaned forwards and kissed him softly, your lips hovering over his for a second. 

“Goodnight handsome.”

Soon you’ll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me.

It’s been 12 months, Rafe was admitted into the hospital at the beginning of month 11. It happened when Rafe broke into a coughing spit that ended up with him spitting up splatters of blood. You weren’t ready when that happened, you knew that that was the beginning of his end and that terrified you.

“Y/N?” He whispered, you sat up from your seat and stood next to him. “Yeah baby?” “Can you kiss me?” Your heart clenched at how soft his voice was. “It would be my honor.” You grinned as he let out a weak laugh. Leaning down you cupped the side of his face and passionately kissed him. 

You pulled away from him, not even knowing about the tears that rolled down your face. “My eyelids feel heavy.” He admitted, knowing this might be his last day. You held the side of his face, watching as his eyes slowly fell shut and his heart monitor slowed down. “No no, Rafe look at me. Keep your eyes open.” You begged.

“I love you Y/F/N Y/L/N, forever and always.” He whispered before his eyes fell shut. The room went silent except for the sound of the monitor flat lining, fear running through your veins. “Doctor!”

Magic Touch- JJ Maybank

(Not my gif, credit to the owner!)

Summary: After JJ finds out a secret you’ve been keeping for a long time, he’s right by your side to help take care of you. 

Word count: 1,822

Warnings: verbal and physical abuse/violence, mentions of blood, cursing.

You tiptoed through your bedroom window, not trying to attract your mother as you packed your bag to spend the week at John B’s. Your mother was just like JJ’s father, always smuggling or doing drugs, drinking until they’re unconscious, or just passed out on the couch for days on end.

Your mother was never supportive of you, you worked everyday and your mother didn’t even have a job. She would take her anger out on you everytime she remembered your dad wasn’t in the picture. If you said or did something she didn’t like, she would verbally and physically tell you how she felt about it.

No one in the Pogue friend group knew about your struggles at home. Every time you showed up with a new cut or bruise, you always managed to find a new excuse on what happened. You figured you would have to tell them at some point, you just didn’t know it would have to be so soon.

You snuck around in your room, packing bathing suits and clothes. Bagging some more essentials you would need just in case. Scanning your room, you quietly zipped your bag shut before opening and closing your bedroom door. Turning around you froze in your tracks to see your mother standing there with her arms crossed.

“Are you staying at that Josh B’s house?” Her mother slurred, nearly falling over from just standing there. “His name is John B, and yes I am.” You stated, your tone firm even though your legs were shaking. You threw your backpack over your shoulders and walked by your mom

“Is that JJ boy going to be there too?” You ignored her question as you kept your focus on the front door. You had your hand on the doorknob before she shouted at you, “he’s just gonna use you!”

Your jaw clenched as you bit your tongue. Turning around to face her you felt anger bubbling from the center of your chest. “JJ is not going to ‘use’ me. You don’t even know him so keep his name out of your mouth.” You stepped back after you spoke, not knowing just how harsh your tone sounded.

“Your father would be ashamed of you,” she started, “you look just like him. And I fucking hate that, you know why? Because he should be here, and not you. Everytime I look at you, you make me wanna scream!” She spat, her voice was laced with venom and pure hatred.

“I wish you were the one who left and not him.” You raised your voice back at your mother whose eyes were widened with fury. Before you could even process what happened, your mother grabbed the nearest empty beer bottle and chucked it at you.

You let out a cry of pain as you felt a sharp blow right above your right eyebrow. You stood there in fear as your fingers reached up to touch the area that had been hit. You lowered your hand to see a small drop of blood on your finger. You flicked the drop of blood away as you quickly swung the front door open. The moment you stepped out of the house, you slammed the door shut and just ran as fast as you could to John B’s

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, feeling mentally drained from those 5 minutes near your mother. You were tired, tired of both the physical and emotional pain every time you were in that house. You wanted to get as far away from there as possible. Your wound went numb as the summer breeze hit it. You were too focused on your legs running to focus on the pain.

Finally running up the driveway to John B’s house, you stopped at the front door as you bent over to catch your breath. Calming yourself down, you walked inside to find it was empty. You threw your bag onto the couch and headed into the backyard to see your friends fishing. “Hi guys!” You greeted them with a forced smile as you walked up to them.

“Hey Y/N! Wait, what happened?” Kie asked from the spot she was sitting in. You immediately turned back around and headed back into the house, only to be followed by JJ who dropped his fishing rod. You picked up your pace, knowing he was following you to find out what happened. You ran into the bathroom with him close behind you. Closing the bathroom door on him, you took a look at the small gash on your face.

“Y/N, if you don’t open this door right now I will break it down, and you know I will.” JJ demanded from the other side of the door. You sighed as you slowly opened the door, watching his face drop in horror and sadness as he saw the wound. “Y/N…” he stepped forward, entering the bathroom with you.

He quickly closed the door behind them as you stared at the cut in the mirror once more. A mixture of sadness and anger bubbled in his veins as he took in the sight of your wound, along with the look of sadness on your face. “Let’s get you cleaned up, buttercup.” JJ said, pushing his feelings away as to not upset you anymore then you already were. 

Before you could protest, he easily picked you up by the waist and sat you down on the sink counter. He stood between your legs, his arm reaching behind your head to grab a washcloth and a bar of soap.

Your eyes watched his hands as he lathered the washcloth with soap and water before carefully rubbing the cut. You flinched at the painful tingling sensation, backing away from his hand for a moment. “I know, I know, I’m sorry.” JJ whispered, his heart aching as she held onto his non busy hand. 

“Who did this to you?” He knew the answer since you had explained to him that you had to go home, but he didn’t want to believe it. You took a deep breath, your eyes focused on the bathroom floor. “It was your mom, wasn’t it?” He whispered after a moment of silence. You flickered your eyes up to meet his, and that’s when he knew his assumptions were correct.

“Y/N, princess… How long has this been going on for?” He asked, tucking a piece of loose hair behind your ear. “Pretty much since we moved here. After my dad just left, she always got mad and constantly told me I reminded her of him. How she wants him here instead of me. It started out verbal but then things just kind of… escalated.” You opened up, your voice just above a whisper.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner? Why didn’t you tell me?” He was hurt that you had known him your entire life, but never told him about it. “I don’t want people thinking I’m asking for attention or lying. And I didn’t want to be a burden, I mean you guys have your own issues to deal with, I didn’t want to add onto it.”

He gently held the bottom of your chin in between his thumb and index finger. “Princess, listen to me. You aren’t and never will be a burden or any of us, and you never will be. Especially with stuff like this. I mean, I would’ve let you stay over more often if I knew. I know for a fucking fact John B or Kie would. And Pope will always be there for you, whether a shoulder to cry on or someone who will make you laugh. We’re your family, Y/n, we’re here for you.” JJ couldn’t help but feel like a hypocrite for saying these words when he was going through the same things with his father.

“I don’t want to talk about it with them right now, especially with John B’s dad still possibly out there. I just want us to focus on him.” You bit down on your bottom lip, trying to control your shaky breath.

You had always been a tough girl in JJ’s eyes. You could take a joke, you weren’t afraid to fight your own battles, you knew how to stand up for yourself and your friends. It broke his heart to see you so beaten up, both mentally and physically.

JJ entangled his hand through your hair and pulled you towards him, resting your head on his chest. You inhaled deeply before breaking down into tears, your body trembling against his. His other hand held your back, tracing small shapes onto your skin in an attempt to calm you down.

“Shh. It’s okay baby, I got you. You’re safe with us.” He softly hummed a soft tune in your ear as you clutched onto the fabric of his shirt. “You’re okay. I’m right here.” He held you tightly in his arms as he heard you slowly calm down. You slowly pulled away from him, wiping your nose with a tissue.

“There we go, princess.” He held your face in his hands and gently wiped away the trails of tears with his thumbs. You placed your hands on top of his and held them in their position. His eyes trailed down to your lips, wondering what they would feel like pressed against his.

He softly cleared his throat, his eyes dropping to the ground as he released you. “Let’s get you patched up.” Your cheeks turned a light pink as you shyly grinned as his back was turned. He reached behind you again to grab a box of bandaids. He quickly ripped one open and placed it on your wound, gently pressing the sides down to make it stay in place. He leaned forward and pressed a delicate kiss to the covered up wound, pulling back to see a soft grin on your lips.

You hopped off the counter and stood on your tiptoes, one hand using his shoulder to keep balance the other placed on the side of his cheek. You pressed a kiss to the left cheek, both of their heartbeats picking up speed. You got back onto your feet, your face warming up as he returned the kind gesture to you. 

As he pulled away, you two made eye contact realizing both of you wanted the same thing. “Can I-” he started, “kiss me.” You mumbled. His hands snaked their way around your waist as yours wrapped around his neck. His lips gently and carefully danced with yours, as if you were a glass doll and one wrong move would break you.

Pulling back, he rested his forehead against yours. “It feels better already.” You grinned, pressing your lips against his one more time. He opened the bathroom door, his arm still around your waist. “I got the magic touch. That’s not the only thing I could touch though.”

“JJ.”

Falling For U- John B

Request: hi! Can u do an imagine based on Falling for U by Peachy! And Mxmtoon with prompts 8, 10, and 19? Tysm!!!

Summary: based on Falling For U by Peachy! And Mxmtoon

Word count: 2,371

Prompts:

8. “You make me feel safe.”

10. “You’ve always felt like home.”

19. “I just want this. I want you.”

I was hangin’ with you and then I realized. I didn’t think it was true, I was surprised, when I found out I’ve fallen for you.

John B had invited you over for a private surf lesson after you had told him you’ve never been. You had just moved to the Outer Banks last year, only recently meeting the Pogue and the rest of his friends. From the moment you met him you were drawn to him. Not for his attractive looks, but for his personality.

You had just met him, but he was always right by your side and ready to help you out through anything you were going through. He had a heart of gold and you adored the boy for that.

You first practiced your movements in the sand, rowing your arms front and back as if you were paddling to a wave. “And… jump up!” John B instructed. He stood by the side of the board, ready to catch you if you slipped. You lifted yourself up and jumped into position, John B’s hand holding yours to help you catch your balance.

“Nicely done Y/L/N. Now let’s see if you can actually do it in the water.” JB led you to the waves, guiding you on how far to go out. He scanned the waves trying to find one for you. He pointed his index finger to an incoming wave as it slowly began to rise, you looked at him with a look of fear.“You got this. I’ll be right here to help you out.” He reassured you. 

You exhaled, “if I drown it’s your fault.” He sent you a sly grin before saying, “don’t worry I know CPR.” You jokingly rolled your eyes while ignoring the butterflies you got in your stomach. You faced the wave as you paddled towards it, a tint of pink covered your cheeks as John B whooped and cheered from behind you. “And… jump!” You immediately popped up into position, almost surfing the whole wave before falling into the water.

You popped your head back above water to John B paddling towards you with your board next to him. “You okay?” He asked, pulling you back up onto your board. You wiped the water off of your face before nodding, getting ready to paddle again to a slightly larger wave. “Y/n/n you don’t have to surf today, this was just supposed to be a practice.” He reminded you. You were absolutely determined to get this. “I got this.” You winked at him before paddling to the wave.

JB let you take this one, watching you jump up into position in time. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!” You laughed as you skimmed through the wave. John B applauded you as the wave died down revealing pure shock on your face. “And the Pogue princess has done it ladies and gentlemen!” He yelled into his cupped hands as you made it to shore. 

You waited for him to get to you before jumping into his arms. You wrapped yours around his neck as he held you by the waist, spinning you around in glee. “You fucking did it! Holy shit!” He grinned as he put you down. You jumped up and down in excitement. “I know! JJ better watch his back I’m coming up to him.” You mumbled, earning a chuckle from him.

“I believe this calls for a celebratory drink.” JB held his hand out for you to grab, you gave him a weary look. His glance dropped to his extended hand, his fingers slightly wiggling. You giggled quietly before intertwining your hands together. This time the butterflies were stronger than ever. You slowly pieced together that you were developing feelings for your best friend, which you were not ready to admit. 

I didn’t wanna believe my feelings for you. I didn’t wanna believe that I could lose you if I told you just how I felt.

“I’m really scared Kie.” You admitted, clutching onto one of her pillows on her bed. She sat in front of you and held both of your shoulders, “don’t be Y/N! John B won’t be phased if he finds out you like him. Plus even if he knows that’s not gonna change anything.” “That’s not what JJ told me.” Kie furrowed her eyebrows at you before remembering past events.

JJ told you about the time John B dated a close friend of 5 years for a while but once they broke up they never spoke again. You refused to tell John B how you felt because you were terrified of rejection. You were terrified of him not feeling the same way, or pitying you for not feeling the same way. Then things become awkward and the whole friendship is ruined.

“That was years ago! He’s matured a lot now and from the way he looks at you I’m guessing he feels the same as you.” You buried your face into the pillow and groaned into the cushion. “Don’t do that. Don’t give me that.” You sighed, clutching onto the pillow. “Don’t give you what?” She asked. “Don’t give me hope.” Kie reassuringly rubbed your back, “It’ll all fall into place soon hun, just try to give it time.”

♡

“Dude when you see her your face turns pink. You’re all like, "oh Y/N! Let me show you what true love is!” JJ exaggerated, putting his hand on his forehead before dramatically flipping his hair. “Shut up man.” John B grumbled from behind the steering wheel.

“Honestly dude I don’t know what’s got you so afraid. Just tell her and don’t be a pussy.” JJ said to him. “Okay well what if I tell her and she’s like, ‘what the fuck I just became friends with this dude.’ And she like, never talks to me again. What happens then?" 

JJ rolled his eyes at his over dramatic friend, "JB I love you, you know this but either man up and tell her or watch her fall in love with someone else. Your choice man.” John B slouched in his seat, realizing his friend had a point. 

But I can’t help it, I’m falling for you. And I can’t quit it 'cause I’m stuck on you. 

John B covered your eyes with his hands as he led you into the backyard. Today was your birthday and while the rest of the Pogues took you out for dinner, John b stayed at his house to set up his backyard with festive lights and decorations. He remembered the first time you met him, you had gone on and on about how you wanted to go to a paper lantern festival. Since there were none at the time, he managed to find a lantern to give to you. He had set up the hammocks with a soft blanket and comfortable pillows. He saved up to buy cute fairy lights girls used to decorate their rooms. 

“And… surprise!” JB uncovered your eyes and watched your face contort into pure joy. “John B…” you trailed off, getting teary eyed. “Is it too cliche? Damn it I shouldn’t have listened to Kie.” He muttered under his breath. You quickly turned to him and hugged him, shaking your head. “No, no it’s beautiful.” He held you in his arms before excusing himself.

He walked inside and returned with the lantern, a lighter, and a sharpie. You covered your mouth with your hands, watching him walk up to you with a dorky smile. “I know this isn’t a festival, but it’s the closest thing I could find.” He handed you the marker allowing you to write whatever you want. This was your chance to slowly start to tell him how you feel.

 You effortlessly wrote, 'JB+(your first and last initials)’ you looked back up to him to see his smile even wider than before. “Is this okay?” He nodded his head, “it’s perfect."  He held the other side of the lantern as you lit the bottom. "One, two, three.” You two sent it off into the air, watching it slowly rise into the night sky.

John B wrapped his arms around your frame, resting his chin on your shoulder as you watched the lantern float above them. Your heart felt like it skipped beats constantly whenever he was near you. You got butterflies in your stomach whenever your name left his mouth. Everything you did with him just felt comfortable and safe.

And it might be pathetic and you might be skeptical but I just want to be with you.

You unknowingly cuddled yourself into John B’s chest. You two were laying on the couch, you were fast asleep in his arms. He couldn’t help but admire you as you slept. How your eyelashes just looked naturally long when they were shut. How every now and then your nose would twitch. Your eyes would sometimes flutter when you dreamed. Today was a day where you had a dream about John B.

He furrowed his eyebrows as a quiet, “John B.” and a giggle escaped your lips. You were dreaming about you two traveling the world together after finding the gold. He took you everywhere you wanted to see, always looking at you when you were looking at the view. 

John B didn’t move for a minute, afraid that he would wake you. He watched as your nose twitched nestling your head onto his chest. He held you in his arms, his thumb gently rubbing up and down on your arm. Hesitating for a moment, he tipped his head down and kissed your forehead. He couldn’t hold his smile back as you grinned at the feeling. Your mind was telling you that happened in the dream, but in reality John B was slowly realizing just how strong his feelings are for you.

Please tell me, boy can you get a clue? Or come through 'cause I just want to be with you.

“No, JJ you don’t get it. I try to give him a hint that I like him but it just flies over his head.” You vented, hitting your head on the steering wheel. JJ lifted your head up off the wheel and against the headrest. “Y/N, John B is the most oblivious person all of us know. If you want to tell him you like him, you have to just say it.” He emphasized the 'have’. 

You groaned and turned your head to him. “Can’t you just do it for me?” You covered your face. “Sorry buttercup, it’s better if it comes from you. I’ll help keep Kie and Pope away from you guys but you have to be the one to tell him.” You exhaled loudly, nodding your head.

I’m scared of telling you how I feel. Maybe it’s better if I just try to conceal the truth. For me and for you. But I’m still stuck on you. I’m still falling for you, for you.

You paced in your room, waiting for John B to arrive at your house. Tonight was the night you were gonna admit how you felt about him. You stopped in your tracks as you heard a delicate tapping outside your window. Unlatching the lock, you let him step through the opening before closing it again.

He stood there as you paced back and forth again, making him sit down on the edge of the house bed. “Okay. Okay so, I have to say something and I just need you to wait until I’m done before you say anything.” You instructed him, earning a nod as a response.

“I like you. I like you a lot and it genuinely scares me. To the point where I went to JJ for advice because I couldn’t figure out what to do. I was scared because my brain just tells me there’s no possible way you would like me back. That if I told you how I felt you would think it’s weird or you would look at me differently and I don’t want that, I don’t want things to change in a bad way. But I wanted to say this because you just, you make me feel safe. You make me feel like I’m worth it. You give me these butterflies that leave the hair on my body standing up. I’m always with you because you’ve always felt like home. I could be skydiving with no parachute but I wouldn’t care because as long as I’m with you, I’m happy. Okay, now I’m just rambling but that’s it." 

You stopped panting, biting your nails as John B sat there trying to process everything you said. He had a dumb smile on his face as he looked up at you. "What? What? Was that too much? Did I just mess everything between us up?” You panicked.

He stood up from his spot and walked towards you. You couldn’t help but feel small and vulnerable as you slowly backed away from him. He cornered you against the wall, his breath fanning your lips. “You like me?” He quietly whispered, trying to make sure he heard that right before he made the next move.

“I really do.” You mumbled, your chest heaving from your heart rate picking up. His hand raised up and cupped the side of your face. He watched as your eyes fluttered shut, melting into his touch. “I won’t do anything until you tell me it’s okay." 

You opened your eyes to look at his brown ones. "Kiss me.” You reassured him. He dipped his head down and connected your lips to his. He exhaled in relief as he was finally able to kiss you. Something he’s been wanting to do for a while now. Now he was the one with butterflies. The pad of his thumb rubbed your cheek bone as you pulled away from him. “Do you want this?” You asked, pointing your finger between you two

“I’m falling for you, I’ve been falling for you. I just want this. I want you.” He whispered, pushing a stray piece of hair out of your face. Your face turned a light pink as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

Lazy Day- Topper Thorton

Request:Hiii, could i request a topper x reader with prompt 30 and 51? Thanks babes :)

Summary: You and Topper decide to spend some more time together after a lazy day. 

Word count: 1,895

Warnings: SMUT! oral sex (male and female), thigh riding, tiny choking kink, un protected sex (wrap it before you tap it fellas!)

Topper Thornton held you close in his arms as the sunlight entered through your curtains, blinding his sight. It was only 3 in the afternoon but you two decided to stay in and cuddle with each other. He groaned in pain as you woke up to his noises. As soon as you opened your eyes, you yelped in pain as the brightness took over your vision. 

“Here.” Topper clamped his hand over your eyes, shielding the light. “Is this okay?” He asked as he held his hand in place. “It would’ve been okay if you didn’t poke me in the eye.” You laughed as you removed his hand to rub your eye.

You sat up in the bed and stretched, your bones emitting a loud popping sound. Topper went into the bathroom as you changed into normal clothes. Instead of finding a normal pair of shorts, you grabbed a clean pair of your boyfriend’s boxers and lazily threw them on. You slid on a large plain grey t-shirt that fell loose around your thighs.

Walking to the kitchen, you began grabbing bowls to eat cereal. Standing on your tip-toes, you reached your arm up high in an attempt to grab hold of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch. “Is that my underwear?” Topper spoke from behind you, pressing against you to reach up for the box of cereal.

He helped you get it down, but still stood behind you as he wrapped his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

“Today was such an easy day but I feel like I’ve been awake since 2 a.m.” you mumbled, your body shivering as Topper pressed delicate kisses to the side of your neck. His hands lifted up under your shirt, his fingertips skimming your skin. 

 He nipped at your neck, “You know I never got to tell you this, but you look hot in my boxers and shirt.” Topper smirked at you. “Alright Thorton, keep it in your pants.” Laughing you stepped away from him and headed into the bathroom leaving him missing your touch. 

You did what you had to do and stood in front of the mirror. Your fingers ran through your hair to smooth down any fly aways. You and Topper had been dating for exactly 1 year.  But no matter how long you two were together, you would do little things to try to fix your appearance. Whether it was to fix your hair or maybe even applying mascara, you wanted to look good mostly for yourself. Topper was always by your side hyping you up. He would always tap your hands when he saw you fixing something, always telling you that you look perfect in every way.

You walked out of the bathroom and back into the living room. The two resumed their cuddles, Topper spooning your body. Everything was quiet, the only sound heard was the audio coming from the TV. You sighed in content as you slowly shut your eyes. “I feel like I should be tired, but I also feel like I could run a marathon. Okay that’s a lie I can’t run for shit but you get the idea.” Topper mumbled in your ear as he held you closer to him.

“You know, if you can’t sleep we could have sex.” You joked to the boy, who actually took it seriously. As soon as those words left your mouth he released you and began to pull his pants down. He flung the article of clothing across the floor, pulling you into his lap. His hands found their place on your ass, gently rubbing your skin. 

“You know I was joking, right?” You grinned as he started to guide you to grind on his clothes cock. You threw your head back only for Topper to grab the bottom of your chin to kiss you. Your lips danced together, practically molding the moment they touched. The kiss got heated quickly as his tongue slid across your bottom lip before trying to fight for dominance with yours. 

The pupils in his blue eyes grew as he watched you grind against him, his eyes staying locked on your facial expressions. His hands slid up from your ass to the hem of your shirt. He wasted no time in nearly ripping it off of your body. He froze in his spot as his eyes scanned over the navy blue lace bra you were wearing. “Wanna take this upstairs?” He asked, licking his lips in anticipation.

You exhaled while nodding your head. He jumped to his feet, wrapping his arms around you as you linked your legs around his waist. He easily carried you up into his bedroom, carefully placing you down onto your feet. He sat up against the headboard, patting his thigh signaling you to come over to him. 

You straddled his thigh, feeling him lightly tense under your touch. Wrapping your arms around his neck, his hand found the small of your back, tracing small circles on your skin. You slowly began to rock your hips back and forth against his thigh, “there we go, princess. You like getting off on my thigh?” He smugly asked, his hands finding your ass once again.

You nodded your head, not being able to trust your voice. You knew if you spoke, a moan would slip out. Topper knew this was a weakness you had so he wanted to use it to his advantage. “Use your words, princess.” You bit your lip harshly, “I love it.” You let out a quiet moan, feeling the fabric of his boxers rub your clit. 

“Don’t stop baby, you’re almost there."he mumbled, his hands reaching up and undoing your bra. He immediately cupped your breasts, his mouth finding your left nipple. You couldn’t hold back your moan as his tongue swirled around your nipple. You spend up the rate of your grinding, your hands entangling themselves in his hair. In a swift motion, Topper was hovering over you. "If you’re gonna cum, it’s either gonna be on my tongue, my fingers, or my cock.”

He peppered kisses on your stomach, teasingly pulling his boxers off of you. He gently blew on your core, watching you squirm under the feeling. His tongue laid flat on your folds before diving in quickly. His hands quickly pinned your thighs down knowing you would wanna shut your legs.

Your eyes fluttered shut, “Topper.” You moaned, grinding your core against his tongue. He moaned against you, the vibrations sending a new sensation up your spine. He pulled away from you, his thumb collecting your juices. He leaned forward towards your face, “taste yourself.” You held onto his wrist as your lips wrapped around his digit. His mouth fell open as he watched you swirl your tongue around it. “Good girl.” He praised.

You tugged on his boxers, signaling you wanted them off. He quickly slid them off, sitting back in his position against the headrest. You positioned yourself between his legs watching as his cock sprang up, a shade of red with precum leaking from the tip.

Wrapped your hand around the base, he thrusted into your touch. “Hey, hey, easy tiger.” You giggled as your thumb swirled on his tip. You smeared the precum around, dragging it down the base. You watched entertained as Topper nearly crumbled underneath your touch. 

“Princess, you should put that pretty little mouth to another use instead of talking.” Topper panted, one of his hands collecting your hair in a fist. Obeying his subtle words, you took him into your mouth. “Oh shit Y/N, your tongue feels so good.” He groaned.

You flattened your tongue on his shaft, bobbing your head up and down. Your hand pumped the area where your mouth couldn’t reach. You moaned against him as you heard him mutter a string of curse words. Topper bunched your hair in his hand, trying to resist the urge of pushing your head down onto him. 

“If you keep going I’m gonna cum.” Your eyes watered as you forced your head all the way down, your nose touching his pelvis. He let out an almost pornographic moan as you repeated the action over and over. He lifted your head up, watching as strings of saliva reached from your mouth to his cock. Giving his tip one last lick, he leaned forward, his hand wrapping around your throat.

“I know what I said before, but I want you to cum on my dick before anything else.” Topper ordered, pulling you into a passionate kiss. He tasted himself on your lips, which for some reason turned him on even more. He positioned you onto your back, his tip teasing your folds as he rubbed himself against you. “Jesus, Top can you just-” he silenced you as he harshly slammed himself into your entrance without warning. You let out a loud moan as you bit your lip, your mouth falling open at the impact. 

“Fuck Topper!” You cried out, watching his facial expressions as he hovered over you. Your nails raked down Topper’s back, no doubt leaving bright red scratch marks. Topper pulled all the way out before slamming himself back into you, the sounds of your skins slapping together being the only sound in the room. To Topper, the sound of their actions and your moans were music to his. Hearing you praise him, telling him his cock feels so good made him feel like he was on top of the world when really he was just on top of you. 

“You’re so fucking tight. You feel so good.” He groaned, his head dipping down to kiss your lips. Your mouth fell open in bliss allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth. “You’re all mine Y/N. No one can fuck you like I can.” He grunted in your ear. Your legs started to shake as your eyes fluttered shut. Not only was the physical touch a turn on for you, but hearing Topper be dominant made your core ache. 

His one free hand latched onto your throat, giving it a squeeze before he ran his thumb across your bottom lip. “That’s my good girl. Taking my cock like a champion, feeling every single inch of me.” His hands roamed your body, pinching your nipple between his fingers as you became a moaning mess. One of his hands intertwined your fingers as he pinned one of your hands above your head. 

“I’m almost there baby.” You said. Topper’s thrusts became quick and sloppy. “Cum in me.” Topper moaned into your ear as you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling you closer to him. “Together?” He asked, resting his forehead against yours. “Together.” You arched your back as you released yourself around him. You felt Topper’s member stop moving as he released himself in you. Topper hissed loudly as you clenched around him, drawing the sinful pleasure to an end. 

He slowly pulled himself out of you, watching his cum drop from your core. A shiver was sent through your body from the loss of touch. Topper fell to your side, bringing you into his arms. You rested your forehead against his chest as the two of you caught your breaths. “I love you, Y/N.” You peppered soft kisses to his neck, “I love you too, Top.”

blind ⟶ jj maybank x fem!reader

REQUEST:34) “Why can’t you see that I’m in love with you?” with jj <3 some good old angst with a happy ending :)

SUMMARY: jj fails to see how you feel about him

WARNING: mentions of drinking, swearing, partying, mentions of smoking, mentions of abuse

GENRE: angst, fluff

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

(fem = female reader) not edited!!

lower case intended ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆

YOU lay on the hammock outside as everyone else is gathered around the fire outback, drinking, smoking, just having the time of their lives as you stare up at the stars and let the hammock swing slightly. you hear giggling from beside you and see jj walking a girl inside the chateau. you make eye contact look away, your heart shattering. you chew your bottom lip and close your eyes, ignoring the rest of the sounds coming from inside.

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IT’S been 3 days since the party at john b’s. 3 days since you spoke to jj. 3 days since you realized your feelings for jj weren’t platonic. 3 days since you started to distance yourself from your friends. because of him.

you let out a sigh as the sun beats against your body. you adjust your sunglasses and rest your arms at your sides, your fingers feeling the towel beneath you. you hum to yourself slightly, freezing when you hear familiar voices off in the distance. you turn your head slightly and see the pogues with their surf boards, walking in your direction.

you panic, quickly standing up and grabbing your things in a hurry. you start to run off when you hear kie yell your name, a big smile on her face.

“y/n! hey! what’s up?“ you stop, avoiding jj’s burning stare. you shrug, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

"nothing much. been busy with, uhm, family stuff. in fact, i actually have to get going. my mom just called. family emergency. see you guys later.” you lie, shooting a small and panicked smile at everyone before running off, not looking back. ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆

A week. a week since you saw your friends at the beach. you’ve been on edge, panicking that you’ll run into them if you leave your house. so you haven’t. you’ve been locking yourself in your room, lying to your parents saying you haven’t been feeling well.

you sigh and turn on your side, staring at the wall beside you as your music blares throughout your room. you yawn and close your eyes, slowing dozing off.

10 minutes later, a knock echoes throughout your room. you sit up, wide eyed and confused. cautiously, you make your way to your window, slowly peaking behind your curtain, seeing jj staring right back at you. you freeze. shit.

you slowly open your curtains and unlock your window, letting jj slide it open and crawl through. “hey..” you whisper, watching him stare at you, emotionlessly.

“cut the bullshit.” he states, letting his arms hang at his sides as he watches you intently.

“what?” you ask, furrowing your brows together and crossing your arms across your chest.

“you heard me.” he’s still watching you, unamused.

“i.. i did hear you. i’m asking what you mean.” you explain, anxiously tapping your fingers on your arms. he looks away from you, glancing around your room as he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek, letting out a low chuckle.

“why? why are you ignoring me? not even just me, you’re ignoring everybody! what did we do? because to be honest, we’re all fucking sick of you distancing yourself and not talking to us.“

you bite your tongue, blinking away the tears. they’re sick of you? "i’ve been going through family stuff, jj. i told you guys that.” he laughs but it’s not humorously. “yeah. okay, y/n. keep making excuses.” you release your arms, furrowing your eyebrows at the blonde in front of you.

“excuse me? you have some fucking nerve showing up to my house to say shit like this. not everything is fucking about you, jj. i know it’s hard to fucking believe, but it’s the truth.“ you ramble, throwing your hands around in anger.

he stares at you, jaw clenched. "how long are you gonna keep going on with this lie? kie saw your parents. she asked how you were doing and your parents told us you’ve been locking yourself in your room and haven’t left it since the day we saw you at the beach.” you bite your lip.

fuck.

“they don’t want to tell people about what’s going on.” you whisper, not sounding convincing at all. he throws his hands in the air, stepping away from you, “why are you still lying, y/n? tell us what we fucking did wrong.”

you turn around, resting your hands on your dresser. “leave.” you whisper. he stares at the back of your head, shocked.

“what?” he asks. you turn around to face him, nudging your arm to the window.

“leave.”

he scoffs, running a hand through his hair. “fuck you, y/n.” he states, walking towards your door and slamming it shut on his way out.

you collapse on your bed, tears running down your cheek. it’s for the best. this is what you need to do. you can’t get your heartbroken by him. therefore you can’t tell him the truth. right?

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TWO weeks later, your parents forced you out of the house. you’ve been talking to kie and pope again. you explained what was going on and they understood. they just wished you would’ve told them beforehand.

you stand at the entrance of the kegger the pogues decided to throw. you knew jj wouldn’t be around the pogues because nights like these were the nights were he would pick a touron to take home. you see kie and speed walk over to her, throwing yourself on her and greeting her with a smile.

its been about an hour or two since you arrived and you’ve been sitting at the fire talking with john b, sarah, pope, kie, and a few other pogues you go to school with.

you’re in the middle of a conversation when you see jj walking up with a girl attached to his hip. you look away from him and continue on with the conversation. he sits in front of you, watching you intently. the girl eyes you, glaring at you whenever she can. you bite your tongue, stopping you from saying anything.

30 minutes later, jj has finished about 2 more beers and is getting more obnoxious by the minute. you’re waiting for it. for him to blow up. and then it happens.

“it’s nice to see you crawling back, y/n.” he says loudly, causing everyone at the fire to go silent. you look him right in the eye, glaring daggers into his head.

“it’s nice to see you adding onto your list of std’s, jj.” you state blandly. kie gaps at you, her eyes wide. she nudges you, “y/n. don’t. just ignore him.”

you ignore her, still making eye contact with jj. he bites his tongue, breaking eye contact to take another sip of his beer. the girl whispers into his ear, causing him to grin. you chew your lip and stand up, grabbing your stuff and turning to him, tossing your beer in his face. everyone gasps and the girl shrieks as some of it lands on her. “you bitch!” she yells, standing up. jj stands up, watching you.

“fuck you.” you whisper, wiping away your tears before stalking off, ignoring kie calling after you. you hear footsteps running after you. you ignore them until suddenly your being turned around. you gasp slightly as you make eye contact with jj, shoving his hands off of you.

“don’t fucking touch me.” you spit, stepping away from him. he ignores you. “what the fuck was that, y/n?“ he asks, anger evident in his features.

“it was what you fucking deserve, jj. i don’t give a fuck if your drunk or not. you made a scene in front of everyone. something you know i fucking hate. yet you didn’t give a fuck.” you shout slightly. “and then the whore on your lap thought she was funny and made that fucking comment. i fucking heardit loud and clear, jj. and you laughed.you fucking laughed at that comment. why the fuck would you do something like that?” you yell, ignoring his attempts to interrupt you.

he goes silent, staring at you. “god. and to think we were best fucking friends 4 weeks ago. and now you’re treating me like i’m a fucking kook.” you state as he shrugs.

“you’ve been ignoring me, y/n. not the other way around. what am i supposed to do? be fucking buddy-buddy with you?“ he asks as you scoff, throwing your hands in the air, "no. but you don’t have to fucking treat me like that! you could’ve fucking kept your mouth shut.”

“i’m not you, y/n. i say what’s on my mind. i don’t lie to people and hide from everyone.” he states, his jaw clenched. you’ve had enough. the anger pulsing through your veins right now was dangerous. this whole situation was. but you’re over it. there’s no stopping now.

“you want me to say what’s on my fucking mind, jj? fine, i will. let me ruin everything some more. i fucking ignored you because i can’t control how i fucking feel. i can’t control the heartbreak i fucking feel looking at you and your side bitches. i can’t handle your harmless fucking flirting. i can’t handle you.”

he lets out a low chuckle, anger and hurt on his face, “if you didn’t want to be friends with me anymore, you could’ve just fucking said that, y/n.”

oh my god. he doesn’t fucking get it.

“oh my fucking god, jj, why don’t you fucking get it? why can’t you get it through your thick fucking skull that i want to be friends with you. i want you in my fucking life. but it’s fucking hard because you’re so fucking blind.”you shout angrily, throwing your hands around.

fuck it.

“y/n-”

“why can’t you see that i’m in love with you?” you ask loudly. he stops, staring at you with wide eyes. “there. you have the truth that you wanted so fucking badly. i’m in love with you. i can’t handle you because you don’t feel the same and i’m tired of hurting myself by watching you with all of these fucking girls that you bring home. i want it to be me. and it never fucking will be. so, yeah, i can’t fucking handle my feelings, jj.”

he stands there in silence, starting at the ground. you chew your bottom lip, ignoring the tears sliding down your cheeks.

“there you fucking have it.” you whisper before turning around, letting him stand there in silence.

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IT’S been about an hour since you confessed to jj. everyones been blowing up your phone. everyone but jj. you’re not surprised. you knew he didn’t feel the same. that’s why you kept everything in.

your phone buzzes. a text from kie. “i’m outside. can u come talk to me pls?” you respond and slide on your shoes before quietly making your way downstairs. wrapped in your blanket that has tear stains on it from how much you’ve been crying, you walk outside, seeing jj standing there.

she fucking tricked you. you go to turn around but jj stops you. “y/n, please. you got to talk. it’s my turn.” you drop your hand from the handle and slowly turn around, staring at the concrete slab beneath you.

“i’m sorry.” he starts, stepping towards you slowly, “i’m sorry for being such a shitty friend. you’re right. i am blind. i didn’t see the way you looked at me. i wish i fucking did. i wish i knew this shit because then none of this would’ve happened in the first place. but, y/n, you’re so fucking blind, too. i thought the way i feel about you was so fucking obvious. i mean, practically everyone but you sees it.” you look up.

what the fuck did he just say??

he’s right in front of you now, his hand rests on your chin, lifting your head up to look at him. “i love you. and i am so fucking sorry for everything. i will do anything to make it better. you want me to beg on my knees in front of everyone? you got it. you want me to flash everyone at the beach? you got it. i don’t care what it is.” you can’t help but smile. he loves you, too.

oh my fucking god.

jj continues to ramble on, but you can’t help but smile wider and wider. you grab the collar of his shirt and pull him into you, cutting him off by smashing your lips to his.

you pull away, smiling up at him. “shut up.” you whisper before he pulls you back in, his lips on yours.

five and one ⟶ jj maybank x fem!reader

REQUEST: hi! i really love your writing <3 i was wondering if maybe you’d write smth like “the 5 times he wanted to kiss her/tell her he loved her and the 1 time he did” with jj please? [@freaky-dcaky]

A/N: thank you !! <3 i hope you enjoy :) also i’m so sorry i’ve been in active :( my senior year is kicking my ass.

SUMMARY: the five times that jj wanted to kiss you and tell you he loves you and the one time that he did.

WARNINGS: mentions of partying, mentions of drinking, mentions of smoking, swearing, mentions of abuse

GENRE: fluff, slight angst

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

(fem = female) not edited !!

gif credit: @wodohwan

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YOU and jj sit on the porch of the chateau, john b inside with sarah and pope while kie is on her way over. you sit cross legged on the floor with jj’s hand in yours, bright pink nail polish on his finger nails.

“stop moving.” you huff as the nail polish paints his cuticles. he chuckles, blunt in between his fingers and a small smirk on his lips. “i’m literally not even moving, y/n.“

you look up at him with a glare before looking back down and focusing on the task at hand.

"jj, you’re literally getting pink nail polish all over your fingers.” you say, dropping his hand and looking at the mess of his fingers. he lifts his hand up to his face and shrugs,

“looks perfect to me, sunshine.” he winks, earning a shove from you.

he places the blunt in between his lips, inhaling before handing it over to you, watching you intently with hooded lids. he watches as you gently set the blunt between your lips, inhaling as slow as possible before closing your eyes and exhaling the smoke. his eyes land on your lips. your rosy plump lips. something he dreams about every so often.

“you’re staring.” you whisper with your eyes still closed but a smug smirk on your lips.

“i am. how could i not stare at you?” he admits, too high to even comprehend that he’s on the verge of confessing his love for you.

“shut up.“ you laugh, opening your eyes and standing up. you ruffle his hair before walking inside, leaving the boy by himself. the things he would do to be able to kiss you.

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JJ sits on the edge of the boat, beer in hand and hat on backwards. you, john b, and jj had decided to go out on the boat today while kie and pope were stuck at home with their parents. he turns around and sees you, tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes.

"hey.” you mutter quietly, climbing next to him. he takes his sunglasses off to get a better look at you.

“y/n? what’s wrong??” he asks worriedly, his hands cupping your cheeks as he scans your face. you let out a sad chuckle, avoiding his gaze.

“my mom and i got into it again.” you exhale, staring out at the water. “what happened this time?” jj asks, slowly dropping his hands from your face.

you let out an angry laugh, throwing your head up and staring at the bright blue sky. “the usual. i’m not as good as my older sister and i never fucking will be. i’m a useless piece of shit and i need to get my life together or else they’re going to throw me out when i graduate.”

jj stands up and slams his hat on the boat, “are you fucking serious? they seriously said that to you?” you nod your head, watching the dirty blonde struggle to keep his composure.

“fuck them. what the hell? you literally work so hard to please them every single day and they don’t give a shit. whatever. let them throw you out. you can stay with me. we’ll figure something out.” he rambles on, hands in his hair. he stops when he hears you sighing loudly. he looks up and sees tears in your eyes.

“why am i not enough for them, jay?“ you whisper, chewing on your lip in attempt to not break down sobbing. jj rushes to you, pulling you into his arms and tracing circles on your back,

“you’re enough. you’re enough for john b. for kie and sarah and pope. for me. we love you.” i love you. he wanted to add, but he kept his mouth closed.

now was not the time to confess anything to you. all you needed right now was his support. and he was going to give you that.

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ITwas around 2 am and everyone in your house was sound asleep except you. you laid in bed with your music playing, book in hand, and the light on your night stand illuminating your room. you flip the page carefully, focusing on the words when your hear a slight tap on your window.

you carefully set your book down and cautiously walk to your window. peering through the curtains, you see a bloodied and bruised jj clinging onto your window, the rain soaking through his clothes. “shit.“ you whisper yell, pulling your curtains open and sliding open your window.

"jay?” you ask, your voice full of concern and confusion, “what the fuck happened to you?” jj shrugs, climbing into your room. “fell off my bike.” he lies as he chews on his bloody lip. your eyes soften as you skim his face, violent purple marks scattered all over.

“jay….“ you whisper, stepping closer to him and taking his face in his hands, "what really happened? and don’t lie to me.”

jj looks away and chokes back a sob. he shrugs and looks down at the floor as he blinks away his tears. you sigh and gently grab his hands, carefully pulling him into your bathroom.

“come on. let’s get you cleaned up, hm?“ he nods and follows close behind you.

he sits on the sink, you in between his legs while you gently clean his wounds with peroxide and cotton pads. as you gently dab the wounds, he watches you intently, observing the way your eyes focus on certain parts of his skin while you chew on your bottom lip in concentration. those goddamn lips.

when you’re done putting bandaids on his face, you grab a warm and damp rag and gently wash the dirt and rain off of his face. you pause and smile at him, hoping to lighten his mood. he smiles back, still watching you with heart eyes.

you step back and toss the rag in the laundry bin. "i’m gonna go grab a pair of my dads old shirt and basketball shorts for you, okay?” you ask, sending him a thumbs up before turning around and quietly exiting the room.

jj frowns slightly, missing your warmth and your touch and just overall you. he hears the door open and close again, looking up to see you with a worn out grey shirt and pair of black basketball shorts in your hands and a small smile on your face. “got them.” you hand them to him walk into your room, closing the door behind you so he can change.

while jj changes, you crawl into bed and turn your lights off and turn on netflix. you look up and see jj shuffling towards your bed, looking at the floor. you smile up at him and pat the spot next to you, signaling or him to crawl under your covers with you.

without a word, jj crawls into your bed and into your side, hugging your waist tightly. you play with his hair and light him silently cry into your side, being the support that he needs. all he can think about is how much he loves you and how much it hurts.

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YOU and the pogues sit around the fire outside of the chateau, beers in everyones hand and a blunt made by jj being passed around. it’s been two days since jj showed up at your house and you haven’t said two words to him about it.

you didn’t want to bother him and be insensitive because you could tell whatever happened really fucked jj up. especially since he showed up at your house and not john b’s. you smile slightly as you feel a pair of eyes on you. you glance at jj, winking at him before turning back to kie and continuing on with your conversation.

jj sips his beer and glances at you. he knows everyone is noticing, including you, but he can’t help it. he is falling so deeply in love with you, he can’t get his mind off of you. he sighs slightly, downing the rest of his beer before standing up and walking inside to get another one, you and your lips etched into his mind.

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IT’S around 4 am when you show up at the chateau drunk and crying. you’re standing outside of jj’s door, silently crying when he hears you shuffling around. half asleep, jj opens the door, making sure they weren’t being robbed. he jumps when he sees you on the floor in a ball.

“y/n? sunshine? you okay?” he whispers. you ignore him and let out a quiet sob and a small burp. shit. she’s drunk. he sighs and squats down beside you, “cmon, love. let’s go to bed, hm?” you nod your head and continue to cry. you place your hand in his and struggle to stand up when he places a hand on your lower back, pulling you up with him.

he slowly walks you into his room and quietly closes the door. “what happened?” he asks you. you shrug and rub your eyes, your mascara smearing everywhere. “sunshine, don’t rub your eyes. you’re smearing your makeup.”

“i don’t care-” you slur, continuing to rub your eyes. he chuckles slightly and hands you a pair of shorts and one of his t-shirts. “change into these okay? i’m going to go get some of sarah’s makeup wipes from the bathroom.” you nod and jj walks out of the room and into the bathroom. he quietly goes through the cabinet, finally finding the packet of wipes before walking back to his room.

as he walks back to his room, he checks his phone and sees a text from sarah and kie. “did y/n come to you?? she left when me and kie were taking shots.” he quickly types back a message letting them know you were with him before stepping into his room. he stops and sees you laying on your back on his bed in his shirt and shorts.

he chuckles, noticing you put his shirt on backwards. “what are you laughing at?” you slur, slightly glaring at him. he shakes his head, “nothing. sit up. we gotta take off your makeup.”

you frown, “i’m tired tho, jay.” he shakes his head. “i know, but you gotta take off your makeup or you’re gonna be pissed when you get a pimple and take it out on me.” you groan and sit up, throwing your natty hair up in a bun. “jay, can you take it off for me?” you ask quietly, looking up at him from the edge of his bed with tired eyes.

he smiles to himself and nods, squatting between your legs so he can get down to your level. carefully, he grabs a makeup wipe and gently wipes the smeared mascara off of your eyes and cheeks along with whatever else you had on. he watches you carefully, noticing your eyes closed as you breathe softly. he eyes stare at your lips and back up to your eyes, which are now open and watching him. he smiles at you softly. when he’s done he stands back up and tosses the wipe into the garbage can before climbing in bed beside you.

you let out a “hmph” as you snuggle into his chest, wrapping your arm around his torso.

“goodnight, jay.“ you mumble into his chest, causing the blonde to blush. you’re so close to him. holy fuck, i hope she can’t feel my heart beat right now. he thinks to himself before choking out a small, "night.”

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A week later, you and the pogues decide to throw a kegger. you and the girls show up a little bit after the boys and greet your friends. you smile at jj, avoiding your eyes from his opened chest because god damn, he looks so good tonight.

as the night continues on, you realize you’ve been avoiding jj all night. you know that in your drunken state, something wrong will happen. whether you confess your feelings to him or just kiss him because god damn, he has perfect lips. you distract yourself by talking to this tall touron you bumped into. he’s nice, a little shy, and cute but not jj.

you bite your lip and push that thought out of the way, purposely flirting with the touron, hoping to get your mind off the fact that you’re literally in love with you best friend. you take a few more sips of your beer when you catch jj talking to a blonde girl a few feet away from you. ouch.. you close your eyes and turn back to the guy in front of you. i should’ve known. nothing will ever happen between me and jj. you open your eyes and quickly place your lips on the touron’s.

“what the-” you pull away and see jj watching you, red in anger and tears in his eyes. he throws his beer on the ground before stomping past you, ignoring yours and his friends calls. you ignore the touron in front of you and chase after him. “jj!” you continuously yell after him.

he stalks off to his bike, ignoring you, tears in his eyes. he climbs on his bike, ignoring your presence catching up to him. “jj. please.” you plead, stepping in front of his bike and trying to catch his gaze. “what happened? what’s wrong?” you ask, pleading with him.

he scoffs, “what’s wrong? are you seriously fucking asking me that right now?” you nod, “yeah. i am. i don’t understand what’s wrong.” you explain. he runs his hand through his hair and aggressively bites his bottom lip.

“what’s wrong is the fact that i just watched you kiss some random fucking guy right in front of me! how could you fucking do that to me?“ you cut him off, confused. “what?-”

“you just fucking looked at me and kissed some guy knowing i was fucking watching, y/n! who does that?” he rambles on, throwing his hands in the air. “why are you so fucking mad, jj?” you ask, watching him intently with furrowed brows.

“because i’m fucking in love with you! i thought i’ve made it quite obvious!-“ you freeze, your heart beating rapidly. “you’re in love with me?” you whisper.

“yes! how could i not be? fucking look at you. you’re such a good person and you’re stunning and literally everything you do makes me want to kiss the fuck out of you and i literally have to restrict myself from doing so-“ you smile widely, stepping forward and placing your lips on jj’s, cutting him off.

you pull away and bite your bottom lip, smiling wide. “did… did you just kiss me?” he asks quietly, staring at you with wide eyes. “yeah?” you chuckle as you take a step back from him. he stares at you, eyes still wide.

“do it again,” he mutters, earning a small laugh from you before pulling you in and placing his lips on yours.

“i’m in love with you too, stupid.” you whisper into the kiss, opening your eyes and see his blue ones staring right back at you full of love. he lets out a sigh of relief and places his forehead against yours, “thank fuckinggod.”