Summary:Reader feels like it’s time for the Pogues to finally have a nice Christmas and sets up a secret santa party … only things don’t go as planned.
Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.
It’s a well-known fact, that the downside of Pogue life is being ignored and neglected. That sentiment also extends to Christmas and all that comes with it.
While figure 8 is decked out in lights and tinsel and garland, the most you’ll find at the cut is a wreath or two hung up on a door and maybe a poinsettia perched on a windowsill.
“ This year it’s gonna be different! “ (Y/N) exclaims as she steps out of the Chateau and plops down on the couch next to JJ, who’s taking a long drag from his freshly rolled blunt.
“ What are you talking about? “ Kie asks, holding her hand out and waiting for JJ to pass the joint to her. “ I mean, whatever it is I’m in, just wondering. “
“ Christmas. “
“ Christmas? “ Pope asks, eyebrow raised in question.
It’s no secret that both Pope and Kie have lucked out in the parents department. The Haywards are as loving as they come. And while Kie loves to paint her parents as the evil villains in her origin story, they’re really just looking out for her. Sure, their worry might be a bit misplaced sometimes, but It comes from a place of deep unconditional love.
That’s something not all of the Pogues can say about their parents.
“Yes, Pope. You heard me right. Aren’t you guys tired of feeling - sad? I am. Look I know we like to pretend that it doesn’t bother us and that Christmas is just a day of the year like any other. But let me be honest, because that’s what we do right? Pogues are honest with each other. ”
The group nods in unison.
“I want a nice Christmas for once. I want a tree and I want lights and good food and music and fucking hell, I think we deserve a present too!”
“ You have a plan. “ It’s not a question that leaves John B’s lips, it’s an observation. Living through shared misery makes you really get to know someone. Not just their pretty sides, all the grime and the sadness and the secrets hidden in the furthest corner of their heart. The Pogues can read each other with just a glance.
“ What about a little Pogue Christmas party? “
“ I’m — “
“ I know Pope, “ she interrupts him as he’s about to shoot down the idea. “ I know you have a full plate on Christmas day, so does Kie. I was thinking about Christmas Eve. We already have the lights out in the backyard thanks to JJ and the Hot tub incident. “
“ You’re welcome, “ the blond boy chimes up next to her, a satisfied grin on his lips and blue eyes sparkling with the power of a hundred frosted Christmas lights.
“ I was thinking maybe Kie could bring some leftover from the Wreck so all that’s left is a tree and presents. “
JJ raises his hand as you would in school, signaling a question coming (Y/N)’s way.
“ Yes, JJ ? “
“ How are we gonna pay for the presents? May I remind you, both John B and I lost our jobs recently and I have about 3 dollars to my name so … “
“ That’s why I suggest a secret Santa. That way everyone gets something but everyone only has to buy one gift, and it doesn’t have to be anything expensive or fancy either. It’s the thought that counts. “
She looks around the group of friends, eyes meeting different shades of blue and brown and hazel. None of them seem too convinced. And really it was a long shot. But there’s a nagging in her heart, clawing at the walls of her chest, knocking against her ribcage. A distant longing that long lay dormant and asleep inside her but something has awoken it and no matter how much she tries to ignore it, she can’t.
Maybe everything changing so quickly lately has her confused. Maybe seeing John B going after what he wants, Sarah and the gold and his father’s legacy, has opened her eyes a little. That things don’t have to be bad. That you can escape a life no matter how restricting and gloomy it is.
And maybe the blond boy next to her has played a part in all of this too. Everything considered he should be bitter and angry and hold more hate inside himself than any other person on this earth. Life has shown him nothing but cruelty. JJ though, despite it all, is one of the softest people she knows. He’s got a heart filled with warmth and joy and so much love for his friends. Where life should’ve made him spiteful and mean it only made him loving and loyal. And while sometimes his actions end in a bit of a disaster, they always come from a place of care and unfiltered, all-consuming love for his friends, his family.
So does he not deserve a nice Christmas? Does he not deserve one night of feeling like he is enough, like they all are?
“ What do you guys say? “
For a moment they are quiet, contemplating her words over and over and her heart sinks knowing they don’t really want to. Maybe this is all a joke to them, maybe it doesn’t mean shit. But it does to her. So where’s the harm in trying. Right?
And then she feels the soft touch of JJ’s hand against her shoulder. It’s barely there. If a whisper was a touch this would be it. But it doesn’t have to be more. It’s all it needs to be. It’s a reassurance, a promise, a hug, all in a soft little touch.
“ Sounds fun to me, “ he says and shrugs his shoulder before taking another drag of his joint. “ I mean, I don’t have anything else to do on Christmas Eve. You guys? “
He regards his friends with determined eyes.
“ Sure, why not. “ John B shrugs and lifts his beer as if to toast on it. “ You’re right. We deserve a night of decadence. “
“ Guys, not to burst your bubble but I doubt whatever will be left is gonna be a decadent meal, “ Kie chimes up, lips screwed up in disappointment.
John B takes a sip of his drink and lets out an amused chuckle. “ JJ’s been chewing on moldy toast the other day, everything’s a feast to him.“
“ I would fight you because that was rude but you aren’t wrong so I’ll let it slide. “
“ Very generous of you, good sir. “
“ You’re welcome, Darling. “
“ So, you guys are in? “
They all agree with various degrees of enthusiasm. It doesn’t matter though, not right now. They might not understand her reasoning, hell they might not even be excited. They’re in though. They agreed. They see how important it is to her, how much she longs for this one night of normalcy. And they show up. They’re there when it matters.
“ Let me just write down our names real quick and then we draw. See who gets to buy who a present. And no cheating, guys. This stays anonymous until the party. And no switching either. John B, do you think Sarah wants to join in? “
“ Yeah, “ he responds, his brown curls bouncing chaotically as he nods his head in approval “ I’m sure she’d like that. To be included. “
(Y/N) has to admit that it was a little weird at first, to add another person to their tight-knit group. Especially someone like Sarah, who never had to deal with any of the issues the Pogues are raised with. Someone who never had to choose between putting food on the table or paying the electricity bill. Someone who never had to look in the mirror and tell themselves that sometimes a parent’s love is a handprint on a cheek.
Someone who’s never had a Christmas without presents or a tree or lights or a family to spend it with.
But as much as she tried, she couldn’t help but fall in deep platonic love with the blonde. Sure, maybe she’s never had to deal with the same problems but she had her own issues, her own trauma. And maybe it’s not so much what you’ve been through that matters but how you grow from it, how you overcome it, how you find closure, and what you let it shape you into. That they all have in common. They overcome it together, with the help of each other and depending on the love and care their friends provide. So it only feels right to include her in this.
A few minutes later one after the other all the Pogues pull little scraps of paper from JJ’s hat, unfold them and without fail, each of them has a little smirk on their lips as they read the name of whoever it is they’re getting a present for. There’s something so comforting and familiar about their friendship. Something that is hard to explain to anyone that doesn’t live it. That isn’t included. All of them are so distinctly themselves and yet their bond is unwavering and can’t be broken so easily.
“ I’m glad you guys decided to trust me in this. I can’t wait for Christmas Eve, “ (Y/N) exclaims before her gaze wanders to the clock on the wall. “ And on that note, I have to leave. My shift starts in 30 minutes. John B, I trust you give Sarah her piece of paper without peeking. “
“ Cross my heart, “ he answers and follows his words with his fingers painting an invisible cross on his chest. “ No peeking.”
“Hey,” JJ speaks up, “think you can give me a ride to my place? ”
“Sure. Always”
As they sit in the car, driving through the sparsely decorated neighborhood, (Y/N) feels JJ’s eyes watching her intently.
“What’s up?”
“Hmm?”
“Why are you watching me?”
“Just wondering.”
“ ‘bout what?”
“Why is this so important to you? You never usually cared about Christmas”
(Y/N) takes a breath, tries to put her thoughts and feelings into words. It doesn’t really make sense to her how can it make sense to him? But truly If anyone will understand it’s JJ.
“ I’m not sure, I just remembered the Christmases when I was little and mom was around. We didn’t really celebrate then either but she’d put me in the car and turn the radio all the way up as they played Christmas songs and we’d drive through figure 8 and look at the lights. And every year she said one day she’d give me a Christmas like that. I think seeing John B. finally going for what he wants and deserves and seeing him trying to make his dad proud. It made me think about what I wanted and what my mom would want. So yeah … it’s silly, I know.”
“Nah, it’s not,” JJ replies and reaches over to gently ruffle her hair. “It makes sense. I don’t really remember much of my life when mom was around but I remember this one Christmas when dad was working on some ship so he wasn’t around and she was - happy. And she’d make us pancakes and draw a Christmas tree with whipped cream on it. We were so happy that morning, I’d give everything to feel like that again. I get it.”
JJ doesn’t talk about his mom, ever. It’s an unspoken rule in their friendship. Partially because he doesn’t have much to talk about and partially because it breaks his heart, to know that despite how much his dad hates him, he’s the parent that stuck around. Not his mother. Not the woman who’s supposed to love him most.
At least John B. was left with one loving parent.
So to hear him be vulnerable with her, sends an indescribable warmth through her whole body.
“Hey J, thanks for agreeing to this and having my back. Not sure the others would’ve said yes if it wasn’t for you.”
“No biggie. I think it’s a nice idea. And you’re right, we do fucking deserve something nice for once.”
His fingers keep softly stroking the back of her head, combing through her hair and making a calm settle in her bones.
“Can I tell you a secret?” She says, heart beating just a little too fast.
“Always.”
“Out of all of them, you’re my favorite.”
“That’s good. Cause you’re my favorite too.”
Sometimes there are moments when she thinks that there could be more. More than friendship. More than longing looks and fleeting touches and loving words sitting in the car driving down the cut. And then she remembers that they are friends and if something were to happen, the consequences could end all of it. What if it ends badly? Is she ready to give up their friendship for a maybe?
Not yet. Maybe not ever. So she’ll stay in this limbo with him, coming close but never arriving. Watching and waiting for something that never comes. Letting herself indulge in the what-ifs only in her dreams.
There’s a single window decked out in Christmas lights as they make their way to JJ’s place and it makes her smile. Maybe she isn’t the only one feeling the holiday spirit.
The backyard sparkles with lights, as the friends sit by the fire, bundled up in blankets, holding onto their steaming mugs of spiked hot chocolate. John B. licks the last drop of gravy off of his plate. When they agreed on Kie bringing leftovers, they hadn’t expected her to bring by a full-on feast. Ham and potatoes and gravy and pie. Maybe, (Y/N) thinks, maybe Kie’s dad doesn’t hate them all that much after all. None of this food seems like leftovers to her. Maybe it’s him feeling generous on Christmas eve or maybe it’s him having pity on the kids who never had a proper Christmas. Whatever it is, she’s entirely grateful.
“Time for presents?” (Y/N) asks, slightly bouncing in her seat which earns her a soft smile from JJ. If only she was brave enough to ask for more. To reach out her hand and take it. To tell him and see where it goes.
“Sounds good to me,” Sarah replies before pointing to a bag full of presents wrapped in all kinds of bright patterned wrapping paper. “As you know we had Wheezie wrap them so the wrapping skills or lack thereof wouldn’t give away the surprise.”
“Okay so you open your gift and then guess who you got it from and whoever gifted you will reveal themself. Got it?” (Y/N) explains, looking around her group of friends who all nod in understanding.
“Good, let’s see, this one is for John B.,” she says and hands the gift over to John B. who rips off the paper in one swift motion.
“Oooh Condoms and a - piece of paper?”
“Turn it over,” JJ explains, masking his words with a comically fake cough.
“It’s a - self-made coupon for a one-time board waxing. Now I wonder who that’s from.” John B. rubs his chin in mock consideration. “I’ll go with JJ?”
“Yeaaah Bree, you got it. You’re welcome by the way.”
“Uh - thanks I guess.” John B. Says and pulls the next gift from the bag. “This one is for Sarah”.
With a smile on her face, the blonde unwraps the package being met with a beautiful silver frame that holds a picture of her and John B. cuddled up to each other in the hammock taken sometime in summer, the light of the setting sun veiling them in a gorgeous golden glow.
“Awww I love this. Well since you’re the only one who always carries around the camera I’m gonna say this was from (Y/N)?”
The girl nods “yup. I’ve been meaning to give you that picture for a while and then I found this vintage frame at the thrift store and it just all fell into place.”
“Thank you, that’s so sweet. I love it. Okay, the net one is foooor, JJ!”
“Ooh give it here,” JJ exclaims and wiggles his fingers in excitement. “Let’s seee. A sixpack and some board wax ayyy. Nice.”
“Hey look at that, you can use it to wax my board when I cash in my coupon” John B. pipes up earning him a raised middle finger from JJ.
“How about no? You can have one of my beers though."
"So nice. A true Christmas miracle.”
“Mmmh. Okay, so I’m not sure who got me this, maybe John B.?”
“Nope”, the brunette boy replies. “Wasn’t me. ”
“That was me.” Pope chimes in. “Thought about getting you a book but I thought this was more fitting.”
“Thanks, dude. Love it. Okay who next, ” JJ fumbles the next package from the bag. “This one’s for Kie.”
The girl gingerly opens the package to reveal a dainty silver chain with a cute little turtle pendant.
“That’s adorable! ”
“And it’s handmade from a local business!” Sarah exclaims, which makes the group fall into a fit of laughter.
“What? Oh.”
“Yeaah. So I guess this one’s from Sarah,” Kie says between giggles. “Next one is for - Pope!”
He opens his gift, an engraved leather-bound notebook, rightly guessing that it’s from Kie.
“Next one is for - me again?”
The group looks around, each of them more confused than the next.
“Yeah man, that’s from me. I got you.” John B. announces.
“No, I got Pope,” Kie disagrees.
“I guess we both got Pope?"
"Then who did - oh fuck”
An uncomfortable, almost sad silence falls over the friends as they realize who must’ve been left out.
“I guess I forgot to write down my own name. It’s no big deal really.” (Y/N) says and though she tries really hard to sound unbothered.
“Hey I have two you can have this one,” Pope proposes holding the present out to her.
“No that’s okay. John bought it for you.”
Pope nods, his lips pulled into a sad smile “you sure?”
“Positive.”
While they fall back into a careless conversation fueled by the spiked chocolate and the Christmas spirit running through their hearts, (Y/N) can’t help but feel her own heart breaking a little.
Before she can dwell on it for too long, she feels JJ’s hand gently rest on the small of her back, rubbing soft, comforting circles into her skin. It sucks, it really does but it feels just a little bit better when she’s this close to him.
Pope unwraps a box holding an ugly patterned tie. So he can look “professional,” John B. says.
They finish their chocolates and as the fire dies, so does the party. One by one they leave or retire to their rooms, getting ready to spend Christmas with their families or in Sarah and John B’s case, with each other.
And in the end, it’s only (Y/N) and JJ left. looking at the dimming embers glowing faintly.
“ I’m sorry, (Y/N). I know you wanted this so badly and then we fucked it up and you didn’t even get a present. “
(Y/N) shrugs, trying not to let it show how much it really hurts. How angry she is at herself for messing this up.
“ I mean, it’s my own fault. I forgot to write down my name. And anyway — I got to spend tonight with the people I love most and you all had a good time and that’s really all that matters. “
JJ pulls her closer and places a kiss on her head which makes her forget about everything for a second. About her fuck up. About all the heartbreak she’s ever felt. About how unfair life really is. It all melts away and she wishes, oh she wishes he could do it again. And again. And again. Over and over until no wounds are left and the cracks in her heart are healed and life doesn’t feel so shit anymore.
“ Hey, Luke’s gone and I don’t really wanna be alone on Christmas eve. Wanna stay at mine? “
She wonders how anyone could say no to that. Not to JJ and his gorgeous blue eyes and that sparkle of — something that keeps looking back at her.
So she says yes. Of course, she says yes. It will always be a yes with JJ. Always.
JJ’s bed is soft. It’s so soft she wonders if he misses it while he’s staying at the Chateau. It’s like sleeping on a cloud. The pillows smell like ocean air and JJ’s shampoo. It all smells of JJ. Warm and familiar and comforting. It smells like home to her. He’s home to her. So it’s no wonder (Y/N) falls asleep approximately 10 seconds after her head hits the pillow.
It isn’t until the notes of Queen’s “Thank god it’s Christmas” echo through the small house, that (Y/N) is shaken from her slumber.
“ What the fuck? “
Gripped by curiosity, (Y/N) makes her way down the hall and turns the corner to the living room when her jaw drops.
The whole living area is decked out in hundreds of thousands of sparkling Christmas lights. Like an ocean of colors, a sea of stars. There’s tinsel hanging from the doorways and garlands strung along the ceiling.
“What in the -”
“You’re up!” JJ steps into the room, two plates in his hand piled with what looks and smells like delicious sweet pancakes and a smile on his face that puts all the lights to shame.
“What time is it?”
“ um like 11:30 or something.”
“And you’re making pancakes?”
“Yes. For us. For our Christmas Party,” he says like it’s the most obvious thing. Like its not strange at all.
“Our party is over JJ.”
“No, it’s not! It’s our party and it starts now. See we got the lights,” he gestures around the room then shakes the plates in his hand slightly. “The food"
Placing the food down on the table he makes his way to the corner of the room where a sickly looking yucca plant sits covered in tinsel and sparkly plastic ornaments.
"Here’s our very own tree,” JJ announces, a wide smile gracing his face. He is so proud of this, his enthusiasm and excitement radiating from him and pulling (Y/N) into the deep with him. There’s just something about a happy JJ that makes you feel the joy too.
“When did you make this”, she asks and gestures around the room.
“While you were sleeping.”
“Jay …”
“And I even got you a present.”
“JJ, You - ”
“No, listen! You were so excited about this and then you didn’t even get a present. I know you said it’s not a big deal but I could tell how much you were beating yourself up over making that mistake. And look if anyone, we know best that Christmas isn’t about the materialistic things. But you deserve a little something for setting this up for us and for making us happy and giving us the only Christmas some of us will have this year. I want you to be happy too. I thought since your mom never gave you the figure 8 Christmas extravaganza, I’ll try to. Pogue style of course.”
“You made this, for me?”
JJ nods and though she can’t be entirely sure due to the lights casting colors all across the room, she’s fairly certain there’s a light shade of pink dusting his cheeks.
“I also got you a present. I - I didn’t wanna give it to you with the others around since we said no gifts only the secret Santa ones. But um … I made this a while ago. After that one time I fixed your car I had some scraps and some time left and yeah. ”
The present he hands her is messily wrapped in brown paper. There’s no glitter or fancy patterns or anything. But it doesn’t need any of that. It doesn’t really even matter what it is. JJ made this for her. He put time and effort into something just for her. It sends her heart pounding in all the crazy beautiful ways.
As the paper falls away, she can finally make out what it is he gifted her. While it’s got a few rough edges, it’s a surprisingly delicate flower. There are log nuts and scrap metal welded together to create something so beautiful, so intricate.
“You made this for me?” She asks, voice but a whisper. When all your life you learn that people are selfish and cruel, the little things can shake your entire world. Leave you breathless.
“Mmhm. Remember I took that welding class once.”
“But you made this, for me,” she repeats her words, trying to emphasize what this really is about. What it is that makes her heart do twirls and pirouettes.
“I told you, you’re my favorite. You deserve this.”
And then the world comes crashing down like a meteor, full force headed for impact.
“I have nothing for you.”
JJ shrugs and she can tell he means it. That he isn’t looking for anything. While he always liked to joke and fantasize about riches and fortune, JJ was never someone that cared all too much about any of that. Even his wildest dreams usually only extended to a little surf hut and enough free time to see the world. No big cars or houses or anything fancy.
“You’re here. Honestly, this is the best Christmas I have had in a long time. I’m not alone for once so — “
“ Still. There must be something I can give you to say thank you. Something you want. “
JJ lets out a mix between a chuckle and a scoff. As if whatever thoughts have conjured up is but the silliest thing he has ever heard in his life. The most delusional of all thoughts. Maybe it is, but she wants to hear about it anyway. Because even the chaos feels weirdly calm coming from JJ. Sometimes, (Y/N) thinks, it’s not about avoiding the storms, not about outrunning them, it’s about who’s by your side while you brave it. It’s about holding on to the people that go through the storm with you. About those that hold your hand while the dust settles and that pick you up as you assess the damage.
“ What’s that reaction for? “
“ I uh — what I want I don’t want like this? “
“ Huh? “
“ Out of pity. Because you feel bad. I gave you something because I want to make you smile and not because I expect anything in return. Especially not what I want. “
He casts his eyes downward, almost as if he’s embarrassed. But JJ is never embarrassed, right? He’s not bashful or shy.
Or maybe he is.
“ JJ, “ she approaches him again and softly lifts his chin to level his face with hers. His blue eyes could rival the ocean waves crashing outside in both how bright they are and how much emotion and power seems to be caught in them. “ Tell me what you want. “
“ You. “
It’s a whisper in the dark. A secret shared. A heart ripped from a ribcage and presented to the only person that keeps it beating. It’s a silent dream come true.
It’s two teenagers who have never known love, finding a safe place in each other surrounded by an ocean of lights.
“ And I know it’s ridiculous and silly and dumb as shit because we’re friends right and it can’t happen. No Pogue on Pogue macking. I know the rule, fuck I MADE that rule. But I just — you are all I can think about and it’s not just because you look smokin’ in a bikini. It’s everything about you, even the things that drive me crazy. So if I could wish for anything for Christmas, anything at all, I’d ask for you. For us to be more than friends. But I understand that isn’t possible, like — I get it. I — “
His words get swallowed by the taste of her lips on his. Time stops for a second, or speeds up, or — really nothing about the passing of time fundamentally changes but as he realizes what’s happening and lets himself fall headfirst into this feeling of joy and belonging, it makes it seems like the world has stopped spinning for a second. His hands find their way to her face, pushing a few strands of hair out of the way, and he deepens the kiss.
Britney Spears sings a cheesy pop song telling Santa she’s been good this year, as JJ pulls away but keeps (Y/N) close. Holds onto her as if he’s worried life is playing a trick on him and will pull her away any second now.
“ Was that a pity kiss? “
“ Did it feel like a pity kiss? “
“ No. That felt really good. “
“ JJ, “ (Y/N) explains, “I’ve been into you for way longer than I like to admit. I just never thought you felt that way about me. “
“ I think I did. For a while. I just — I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like. You know I don’t have the best examples. Big feelings scare the shit out of me. “
“ Me too. I think they might be worth it though. “
“ Yeah, I think you might be right. Hey would you look at that,“ he exclaims and points above their heads where a fake holly branch dangles from a sparkly red garland. “ A mistletoe.”
“ Uh, that’s — that’s not a mistletoe.”
“ It’s called suspension of disbelief, okay? It’s impossible to find mistletoe on the OBX on short notice.”
The two of them fall into a fit of laughter and for once life doesn’t send a storm their way, no gray clouds or harsh winds or downpour. Just a clear night sky and a thousand of twinkling lights shining alongside the stars.
And when he kisses her again and again and again, she thinks maybe there are Christmas miracles and maybe they aren’t made from magic but from love.
“ Hey,” JJ whispers against her lips as he pulls away for a second.
“ What is it? “
“ It’s midnight. Do you know what that means? “
“ Hmm? “
“ It’s Christmas. “
“ Merry Christmas, JJ. I hope you like your presents. “
“ Yeah, “ he says and pulls her for another kiss. “ I love my presents. “
And when they manage to pull themselves away from each other and sit down by the kitchen table sharing pancakes and whipped cream, (Y/N) figures that this is love.
It’s not handprints on a cheek, it’s not tears on a pillow, it’s not fancy gifts or decorated gardens.
It’s holding each other through storms and pain and heartbreak, through breaking waves and undercurrents.
It’s sharing traditions and making your own.
It’s promising to be better, to do better, to love more and harder and more openly.
Love is a kiss under the mistletoe. Pancakes at midnight. Whipped cream sprayed in the shape of a crooked star. A room full of lights. Bad Christmas music. It’s laughter. And friendship. And hope.
A foot in both worlds, that was the only way to describe Y/N. But attending the Kook Academy and being invited to benefits at the Golf Club wasn’t that appealing to a Pogue.
Y/N would much prefer to spend her days sun bathing with Kie, debating around the bonfire with Pope, driving the HMS Pogue through the Marsh with John B and doing just about anything with JJ.
But love is hard at the best of times, especially in the midst of a treasure hunt.
Request:Okay this might be a stupid request but I dreamed about this and I would love an imagine or something about it. So JJ is working at a restaurant and reader (his gf) is having dinner there with her little sister and JJ is just really excited that he can serve you and he gives your sister like coloring stuff so she can color and JJ tells all his colleagues that your his girlfriend and just pure fluff idk
A/N:So this originally started as part of another request and then just became it’s own fic. Sorry it took so long to actually post!
Birthday dinners in your family were always a major deal. While your mom and dad usually chose the Wreck or the 24hr diner over near the pawn shop for their respective birthdays but your sister always went all in. She’d spend weeks before her birthday talking about where she wanted to go but always ended up choosing the same place, The Island Club.
“I’m gonna get lobster,” she insisted on the car ride over. Your parents were on the mainland for a funeral but you’d promised to take her without them, almost grateful that you wouldn’t have to sit through your dad talking about the value difference of everything on the menu or your mom read each price out loud as if she was somehow shocked that a restaurant for kooks cost so much money.
“Lobster?” You asked, pulling into a parking space between a tesla and a benz. You thought of JJ immediately, joking that at least you knew your car wouldn’t be stolen. “Do you like lobster?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugged, the taffeta sleeves of her dress brushing her cheeks. In your opinion, though you’d appropriately ‘ooh’ed and ‘aah’ed when she came out of her room in her birthday outfit, the dress looked like cotton candy on her gangly eight-year-old self. She had a pink tiara to match, feathery and covered in glitter, proclaiming that today was her birthday. “That’s the point of trying things.”
“Touché,“ you replied, pushing the door of the Island Club open so she could pass before you. A couple of expensively dressed, middle-aged, kooks looked your way as you were led to your table. Your sister looking like an 80’s pageant queen and you, in the satin, strappy, light blue dress you’d worn to prom. It was the nicest thing you owned and she had insisted that it was the only dress that fit her idea of ‘dressed up’.
“JJ told me he’s working tonight.” Your sister mentioned, looking up at the host as they seated you at a table near the wall of sliding glass doors, “do you know JJ?”
“…Maybank?” The guy asked, handing over two menus.
“Yeah,” she smiled, “he’s my best friend.”
You almost wanted to laugh when she said it. When JJ had asked you out two summers earlier, your sister had been far from thrilled. While your mom was just happy that you had a boyfriend, asking to meet him the first time you ever even mentioned his name, all your sister could think was that you dating meant someone else was going to occupy your time. Before JJ you’d been something of a second mother to your little sister, stepping in while your parents worked. Now that you were dating and he was around the house all the time, he’d practically adopted the title of honorary older brother to your sister. She was completely convinced that he was the best person she ever met.
Your sister had told JJ weeks before that she was going to the Island Club for her birthday and had asked if he would be there that night, hopeful that she could see him if he couldn’t actually come to dinner.
“Oh man,” JJ’s voice came from behind your sister, his hands landing on the back of the chair as he leaned over her, “I better hide all the ice cream.”
“JJ!” She twisted in her seat to see him, smile so wide it practically reached her ears as she looked up at him. “Are you coming over tonight to have cake with us?”
“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it.” He replied. A glance back toward the double doors of the kitchen were enough to tell JJ that socialising on the clock was not going to fly with his boss. He sheepishly backed up from the table, sending your sister an apologetic smile, “I’ll be back out to see you, okay? I gotta get back to work.”
The minute JJ was back through the double doors he was apologizing, grabbing the bus bin off the cart, and announcing to everyone in the kitchen that his girlfriend’s sister was turning eight today. The calendar hanging on the wall near the kitchen office had her birthday circled, as if it was some sort of holiday for the whole staff to celebrate.
“Hey,” JJ leaned against the counter near the stove, plastering his nicest smile on for the woman who ran the kitchen. “Remember how you said I could work on my waitering skills the other day. You were like ‘JJ you should have just as much opportunity to move up as anyone else, you’re such a hard worker and a great kid-“
“I don’t think I said all that.” She remarked, looking at him pointedly, waiting for him to get where he was going with the conversation.
“Well anyway…you think I could wait a table tonight?”
“Let me guess,” her face remained blank as she stared at him, “you wanna wait your girlfriend’s table so you can impress her and the little sister by doing something that isn’t cleaning up dirty dishes?”
JJ nodded, trying to offer whatever compromise he could think of, “look, whoever’s table it’s supposed to be, they can keep the tip.”
“You got a girlfriend that tips?”
“Whats that suppose to mean?”
“I work with you JJ, I know what a cheapskate you are.” She replied, almost cracking a smile when he scoffed.
“I’m not a cheapskate I’m fucking broke all the time.”
“And this girlfriend of yours is rolling in it?”
JJ groaned, annoyed that the conversation was going so off course, “can I wait the table or not?”
“Fine.” She finally agreed, quick to tack on rules, “But only one free dessert for the kid’s birthday…I don’t want you clearing out the fridge over some little kid.”
“Okay,” JJ was grinning was ear to ear, already on his way to the small office area where aprons hung to grab a new, clean one for himself. The prospect of waiting your table wasn’t just exciting because he would get to actually see you all night but because he couldn’t help feeling more than a little impressed with himself and hoped you did too. Just a busboy was fine, he made a decent pay check, but he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life busing tables. He didn’t even want to spend the rest of the summer cleaning up after kooks. Serving them might be worse but if it meant that he could impress you, show off a little in the process, that was well worth it.
The host brought drinks to the table, a Shirley Temple for your sister and a water for you, and then JJ was in the dining room, walking straight for your table.
“Are you waiting on us?” You asked, your sister smiling eagerly as she clutched the menu in her hands, she didn’t even need to look but she had anyway, trying to be as fancy as possible.
“Yeah,” he nodded, “they’re letting me wait this table. I’m in training.”
“Glad to be your Guinea pig then.”
“JJ,” your sister cut you off, “I’m gonna get lobster.”
“Whoa, pulling out all the stops for your birthday huh?” JJ asked, checking the menu for the actual order and scribbling it down on the his notepad.
“Only the best,” you replied, JJ laughing at the sarcastic undertone in your voice. He knew birthday dinner was on you this time and, while you had been saving up as much as you could, lobster at the island club wasn’t cheap.
“And for you?” JJ asked, turning toward you and trying to act professional as another waiter passed by the table.
“The salmon and the house salad,” you replied, “Kie and I are trying to do like…a no fried food diet or whatever,” you explained, almost laughing when JJ made a face and rolled his eyes. “Don’t start with your dumb “you don’t need a diet” crap JJ, we’re trying to be healthy!”
“French fries are potatoes. Potatoes are healthy.” He argued, taking the menus from you when you held them out.
“Next you’ll tell me beer is healthy cause it’s just wheat and water.”
“I mean-“ he shrugged and you laughed.
“Go get our food.”
“I‘ll be right back.” He huffed, leaning over to whisper to your sister as he passed her. She laughed and he looked back at you conspiratorially, just so you would know for sure that they were gossiping about you.
JJ wasn’t gone long, reappearing in a few minutes with a thin colouring book and a pack of crayons that the club usually provided for kids dining in. The book had line drawings of different animals that were native to the OBX and your sister flipped first to the page of dolphins, “I’m gonna do one for Kiara, she’s coming over tomorrow.”
“What about me?” JJ asked, lingering at the table when he knew that technically he still needed to be busing others.
“I already drew you a picture, it’s at home.” She explained, full concentration on the picture in front of her needing to be colored in.
“Wow,” JJ drew the word out, as if truly impressed, “what is it?”
“You and me surfing!” She replied, finally looking up at him. “Cause we’re gonna go surf on the weekend…right?” Your boyfriend had agreed to teach your sister how to surf as a birthday present, promising your parents that he wouldn’t let her drown or get eaten by a shark.
“Yeah, we’re totally gonna go surf on the weekend.” As JJ spoke, Andrew passed him, nudging him and pointing out a few tables that had finished and needed to be cleaned off. JJ gave a small sigh, “I’ll be back with your birthday food, I gotta go clear off some tables.”
Request: yes. Not sure where it is cause I lost it but the general request was the song Lover by Taylor Swift with JJ Maybank.
A/N: I didn’t want it to be like a word-for-word interpretation of the song more so the feeling of the song so that’s what I tried to do. Hopefully it worked.
“Let’s get our own place,” JJ whispered, his shoulder digging gently into your back as you leaned toward him, as if you couldn’t hear what he said.
You could’ve just as easily pretended that you were still sleeping, undisturbed by the shrill ringing of your cousin’s alarm from the other room or the soft patter of footsteps as your dad moved around the kitchen. But you’d been up for the last half hour, your sleep interrupted by your niece crying, the sound not even slightly muted by the door that concealed her room.
“How?” You whispered back. Two sixteen year olds with limited income weren’t exactly promising homeowners.
“I don’t know,” he tilted his head to the side, letting it rest against the back of yours as he pulled the blanket further up on his side and feigned sleep.
You and JJ were in kindergarten when you met, first day in and you were already best friends. In third grade there was a lull, he met John B and your parents house was foreclosed on, moving you a little further into the Cut. Your grandparents modest three bedroom was old, built way back during WWI, “it used to be a farm” is what your granddad always said, as if it still was.
By fourth grade, when you and JJ started hanging out again, your aunt had moved in too. Her and her two kids, your parents and your three siblings. JJ would ride his bike down to your house and play with you and your family until it was too dark out to ride home and then your dad was throwing a sheet over the couch and offering him the last surface in the house to sleep on. The house, with its two bathrooms and three bedrooms, was almost always crowded. JJ was the only friend you let through the threshold, at eleven you already knew that most kids had bedrooms and their own clothes. Even JJ had his own room, his own bed.
By sixteen, if he wasn’t sleeping on the sofa in John B’s house then he was at yours, sharing a mattress with you on the living room floor because your sister had moved back home and one of her kids always took the couch.
“We could have our own room,” JJ proposed, still a whisper in the dark room as he thought more about the imagined place. Just above his head, at the top of your mattress, the branches of the family Christmas tree reached out, threatening to drop pine needles if you shifted the wrong way. At twelve, JJ had succeeded in taking the tree all the way down to the ground when a clap of thunder had woken him up two days before Christmas.
“Just the one?” you almost laughed.
“Why do we need two rooms?” He seemed genuinely unsure why you wouldn’t want to share a room.
For as long as you two had been friends, privacy hadn’t really been a thing that existed between you. And while neither of you had ever actually ‘made the first move’ it was generally accepted that you were together. Mostly because you were rarely apart.
“So we can be those bourgeoise kooks with ‘home offices’.” You joked, shifting around on your mattress to face him. “Or guest rooms that we decorate in white and blue nautical crap.”
“Two bedrooms then.”
You squinted in the dark, whether because you were trying to see him better or somehow see through him, you weren’t entirely sure. There wasn’t much to see in the dark, just the general shadow of JJ’s face close to yours, but you knew what he looked like enough that if you never saw him again you could’ve still sketched a fairly accurate picture.
“What if you get bored living with me everyday? I’m not as adventurous as John B,” you posed, “you could move into the Chateau.”
The question was a fair one, JJ had been spending a lot of time at the Chateau lately and you couldn’t help feeling a little jealous. Maybe it was stupid, to be bothered by something so trivial as where someone decided to lay their head at night but you couldn’t help it. JJ was supposed to stay at your house, in your cramped living room on a mattress that was lumpy and tired from being dragged back and forth every morning. He was supposed to sleep next to you and stay up too late and make you laugh at stupid jokes.
“Why would I wanna do that?” He asked, propping himself up on his elbow as if it would help him see you better.
“I don’t know,” you can’t shrug laying down but your voice carries the same uncertainty, a sort of embarrassment you can’t shake. “Would we live on the Cut?”
“Anywhere we wanted,” he replied. “We could live right on the beach, like those houses on stilts. We could surf everyday and lay out in the sun.”
“Sounds amazing.”
It was all just a sleep-deprived dream that the two of you had. You knew that real life things would creep back in once the day started and dreams of living on the beach and surfing all day weren’t dreams that you or JJ could afford to have. Still, it was a nice thought, one where you could live in a haze of happiness and sun and JJ.
“I wanna spend the rest of my life with you,” JJ admitted, shifting closer to you again and wrapping his arms around you. His breath fanned out over your shoulder and you felt him leave a kiss to the skin on your arm, where your shirt sleeve rode up. “Sitting on the beach, smoking weed, watching the sunset or whatever you and Kie like to do when you get up at the ass-crack of dawn.”
“That’s the sunrise you moron,” you laughed quietly, tucking your head into the crook of his neck.
“Whatever, we’ll watch it together.” He replied. “And drive around listening to all that old shit your dad likes and we’ll have a big porch with those giant couches and we’ll sleep until noon every day.”
“How are we watching the sunrise if we sleep till noon?” You asked, leaving a kiss against the base of his neck. He was warm and you were finally starting to fall asleep.
“We’ll wake up and then go back to sleep.” He said, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. You could hear the soft slur in his voice as he spoke and felt his lips press against your temple.
You closed your eyes in the dark. “I think you might need that sleep now,” you replied.
“Yeah,” he was drowsy and clingy, a side of him you saw often and never tired of experiencing, “we’ll make plans in the morning, for our house.”
“Okay.”
“And don’t forget…a Christmas tree all year long.”
“Okay,” you repeated. “I promise not to forget. Go to sleep.”
He hummed and you thought for a minute he might actually take your advice and let himself doze off but then he pressed another kiss to your forehead and you could hear him repeating, “don’t forget” but the end of the sentence trailed off before he could finish it.
“What?” You whispered, curious if it was anything actually important or simply another feature of your future home.
JJ tilted his head back, half-lidded eyes searching for yours in the dark, “I said I love you.” He replied then settled back in.
Request: if ur requests are still open can u do prompts 11 and 23 with Rafe? Ty!!
Summary: you confront Rafe after hearing a certain story.
Word count- 1,014
Warnings: cheating, cursing, ANGST
Prompts:
11. “I can’t imagine this world without you.”
23. “I wish I could hate you.”
You sat there, a blank look on your face as you took in your best friend’s words. ‘I saw Rafe kissing Lindsey, and then… then they went upstairs into a room. Elise and Christina saw it too.’ You thought it was a joke, you prayed it was. But once you saw the pity and sorrow in her eyes, you knew it was nothing but the truth.
“Oh,” was all you could say. Nothing could have prepared you for this moment because you did not think you would have to go through it. 5 years of friendship and 2 years in a relationship, that’s all it took for Rafe Cameron to earn your love and trust, and now it’s all gone. “Do-do you want me to stay over?” “No. No it’s okay you said you had plans with Aaron. Go.” You softly smiled through your heart breaking.
“Y/N…”
“Just go hun. I wanna be alone right now anyway.” “Just call me and I’ll be over in a heartbeat.” She gave you a tight hug before leaving the room. You slowly slid down from your position against the bed headboard. Blankly, you stared at the ceiling above you. There were a least a thousand questions running through your head, and you wanted all of them answered.
So you did the only rational thing you could think to do; call him. Your hand shook softly as you reached out to your phone, picking it off the dial. It rang for a few seconds before Rose picked up. “Hello?” Your heart felt like it seized as you heard the voice that you’ve known for god knows how many years.
“Hi Mrs. Cameron, is Rafe home?” Your voice wavered at your lips saying his name. “He is out with some friends right now sweetie, would you like me to take a message?"
"Yes please, could you tell him to come over whenever he gets back?” “Of course I’ll tell him!” “Thank you so much, have a good night.”
You quickly hung up the phone and sat back against the headboard. You zoned out for what seemed like hours, only for it to be twenty minutes. You hadn’t even noticed the wet trails on your cheeks from tears that escaped your eyes.
Confused. Insecure. Lied to. Cheated. Scared. Hurt. Broken. A joke. Used. You felt so many things, however you couldn’t name them all. But the main emotion that stood out was this strong, numb feeling. You felt as if he just slapped you across the face - emotionally.
Time painfully passed by as you waited for him to walk into your room. Sooner than you could process he walked right into your room. “Evening princess, Rose said you wanted me to come over?"
You hid the cringe your body produced hearing the nickname 'princess.’ He jumped onto your bed as he sat next to you, taking in your puffy eyes and red nose. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, if you did it was game over for you right then and there.
Your voice was just above a whisper when you asked, "did you fuck Lindsey?” He remained quiet, that’s when you looked up. His eyebrows were furrowed, not from confusion; but from guilt and you could tell that was what he was feeling after knowing him for so long.
“Baby she kissed me and I should’ve pushed her off-” He began but you cut him off. “But you didn’t pull back, did you?” He closed his mouth, his silence was your answer. “God when I was told I wished it was a fucking joke, Cameron. What made you think you should’ve fucked her? Hmm? Please tell me your thought process through that.” His heart broke at your shaky voice, how you referred to him by his last name.
He reached his hand out to hold your shoulder, “don’t fucking touch me!” You exclaimed, moving off of your bed and pacing the room.
“You’re not even drunk. You just fucked her. Am I not good enough? Am I bad in bed? Are you tired of me?” You asked him as you bite your thumb nail. “No baby, it’s not that.” “Stop calling me nicknames!” You cried out. “You lost that privilege as soon as you didn’t push her away. You lost the privilege to call me your girlfriend. You lost the privilege to even let my name come out of your mouth. You lost me."
You felt extremely lightheaded, like you could see in your own perspective, but your soul was floating out of you. "God and the worst part about this is I wish I could hate you. I really fucking wish I could, but I still love you. Of course I do, but you fucked up Cameron. You fucked up badly."
"Y/n I’m so sorry, if I could take it back I would.” He tried to offer, only making you more mad. “Sorry doesn’t mean shit now. You wouldn’t be saying sorry if you didn’t stick your dick in her.”
Rafe rubbed his face with his hands, shaking his head. “I can’t imagine this world without you.” He whispered. “Then you’re gonna have to start learning what it feels like because I can’t do this anymore.” You cried, walking to your dresser and scavenging through your clothes. You pulled out any of Rafe’s sweatshirts and sweatpants, throwing them onto the floor.
Rafe slowly stood from your bed and began to approach you, as if he made the wrong move you would run. His arm reached toward you but you quickly dodged it. “I think you need to leave Rafe.”
“Y/n…"
"Just go!”
He let out a raspy breathe and wiped the tears from his eyes. After picking up his stray clothes, he walked to the door before stopping in the doorway to look back at you. You were holding yourself up, your legs feeling like they just ran a 10k mile race. He softly whispered, “I’ll always love you.” Before walking out of your room, out of your house, and out of your life.
Summary: your best friend disappears after ‘the blip’ only to return 5 years later.
Word count: 1,554
Warnings: none
For the last few years, JJ Maybank had been babysitting you, his younger neighbor. When you first met him, he was only 15 years old. You shyly walked up to him, asking if he would play house with you since your mother never paid attention to you.
Ever since then whenever you needed JJ, he would go over and take care of you or you would be at his house. Your mom never cared how long you stayed at his, she was too busy drinking at bars. He loved you and was always there for you.
You were currently 13 years old when JJ was helping you get ready for the middle school dance. JJ leaned against the doorframe of your room, grinning as you took one final look at yourself in the mirror. “JJ, this looks amazing! How did you manage to do my eyeliner perfectly?” You asked, pointing out just how good his makeup skills were.
“I’m not gonna lie, I practiced for a bit because I figured there be some time you’d wanna give me a makeover or something.” He laughed, shoving his hands into his pockets. He walked up behind you, almost falling to the ground as you tackled him in a hug. “Thank you JJ, you’re the best!” You grinned, thankful to have him as a friend.
A shiver was sent through JJ’s spine as he released you. He stood there uncomfortably, his hands out by his side. “Are you okay, JJ?” You asked, stepping back before realizing his fingers were starting to disintegrate into thin air. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as your mouth fell open in horror.
JJ fell to his knees as he held his hands out, watching his own body disappear. Falling to your knees, you held his elbows in your hand. “Y/N? Y/N, what’s happening to me?” JJ cried out, collapsing in your arms. “You’re gonna be okay JJ. I got you.” You panicked, tears squeezing out of your eyes as you watched your best friend slowly slip away from your arms.
He locked eyes with you, “you’re gonna be okay Y/N. You’re strong, you’re gonna go through life and you’re gonna be okay-” JJ’s sentence ran short as he disappeared in your arms, you covered your mouth with your hands as you let out a soft cry. You pulled your knees up to your chest, your once soft cries turned into loud sobs. Your best friend was gone, and there was nothing you could do to get him back.
You chose to skip the dance, deciding to lock yourself in your room. Your heart ached knowing that JJ wouldn’t see you grow up, you would have to deal with your problems by yourself which scared you.
Nothing could have prepared you for this, you slowly sat down on your bed and began to cry into your comforter.
_____________________
5 years later.
You sat on your legs criss crossed on your bed as you were watching another episode of Friends as you scrolled through your phone. Your breath hitched in your throat when you came across a picture of you and JJ from years ago before the blip happened. JJ wasn’t the only one who disappeared that day, apparently half of the population disappeared as well. You missed him everyday and prayed that he would come back safe.
The sound of something falling onto your floor made your head snap up from your phone. You let out a small shriek at the sight of a body on your floor. “Who the fuck are you?” You asked, grabbing the baseball bat from the side of your bed and standing on the floor.
The person turned around on the ground to face you, their hands raising up in defence. “Please don’t hit me I’m sorry!” You immediately froze in your steps at the familiar voice. Turning on your bedside light, you nearly dropped the bat at the sight of JJ Maybank on your floor.
The bat slowly fell from your hand and onto the floor. JJ looked at you and slowly stood up, trying to figure out whose room he mysteriously popped into. “JJ?” You asked, walking towards him. He shoved his hands into his front pockets, a habit he used to do. 5 years later and he’s still doing it which you thought was cute.
“I am so, so sorry! I didn’t mean to just show up in a stranger’s house I was literally just sitting-” you cut him off, “JJ! It’s me, Y/F/N Y/L/N!” JJ’s eyes widened in disbelief. “No there’s no way!"
You gasped, your heart racing a mile a minute as he smiled brightly, holding out his arms open. You jumped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. He held you tightly as you entangled your fingers into his hair. He laughed loudly as he looked into your eyes. "Y/N I missed you too but it’s only been a day since I last saw you, how did you grow up so fast?” He mumbled in the crook of your neck.
You untangled yourself from him as you started up at him with a serious expression. “What?” He asked. “J, It’s been 5 years.” The truth seemed to have knocked the breath out of him.
“W-what? Wait, woah. Okay, so uh, so that means I’m still 18 but you’re….” he trailed off, “18.” You nodded your head as you invited him to sit on your bed. “Wait, that means I missed 5 years of your life?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows as a wave of sadness rushed through his body. You leaned forward, resting your hand on his knee.
“Hey, the point is you’re here now, okay? So, tell me about what happened in your day.” You told him, shifting in your seat to hear his story. Sitting criss crossed, you rested your elbows on your knees while your chin layed on your hands.
“I honestly don’t even know where I was. But there were so many people there. I couldn’t recognize anybody. I was just standing there by myself when I met this guy, his name was Peter Parker. He’s from Queens and he’s a total dork but you’d like him. Really friendly. I told him I missed you and he asked if I had a picture so I pulled out my wallet and showed him. He said you were so adorable. Anyway I told him I’d visit him if I ever got out of there. I also met this guy James but a few people there called him Bucky, we didn’t talk much mostly just cause he looked really angry. Then this guy Stephen Strange complimented my hair which was odd but I like the guy. But was it really a whole 5 years?” He rambled on until he was out of breath.
You leaned against your bed frame and sat up straight to look at him, you nodded your head. “ whole 5 years of people mourning, people trying to move on, but I just sat here missing you,” you paused to take a shaky breath. “5 years of begging to someone out there to bring you and everyone back. 5 years of feeling stupid for having a silly crush on you my entire life. 5 years of just… a hole in my chest.” You mumbled, looking down as you picked at your nails.
A tear slowly trailed down your face as you laughed softly, swiping the tear with your thumb. JJ leaned forward and cautiously held the side of your cheek, wiping away the excess tears. “I’m here now Y/N and I’m not going anywhere.” You melted into his touch, your hand holding his in place against the side of your face.
His gaze went outside of your window, realizing it was still dark out. “Wait, what time is it?” You checked your phone, “3:57 a.m.” you answered. His eyes widened, “why are you still awake?” He questioned, lightly snacking your shoulder
“Hey man, having someone you care about disappear takes a toll on you okay.” You defended yourself, still not believing that JJ was in front of you. JJ laid down in your bed, making enough room for you to lay down with him. You took the space next to him, his arm immediately resting around your waist. “This is okay, right?” He asked looking down at you. You quickly nodded your head, resting it against his chest.
“You had a crush on me?” JJ broke the silence causing you to groan in embarrassment. “Shut up. Shut up I didn’t mean to say that.” You squeezed your eyes shut, hitting your head on his chest. He laughed quietly, lightly scratching your back; something he used to do when you were upset.
“I hope you know we’re gonna talk about that later. But for now just get some sleep, I’m right here.” He mumbled. You let your eyelids flutter shut, hearing the faint sound of his heartbeat. You let the sound be the only thing you focused on as you tried to fall asleep, feeling blessed to have him back.
JJ planted a kiss to your forehead before whispering a soft “goodnight Y/N.” You couldn’t help but smile as you snuggled closer to him. “Goodnight JJ."
Summary: Based on ‘Where Were You in the Morning’ by Shawn Mendes
Word count: 1,139
Warnings: none
You looked up at the angel that laid with you in bed. His soft snores escaped his mouth as he held you close to him. You hated to admit it, but you felt safe in his arms. He looked so frail, so peaceful, everything felt like something good could come out of it.
You went to move your hands to stretch, but his hand was interlocked with yours. Rubbing your thumb over his knuckles, your free hand traced small shapes on his bare chest.
His body was radiating warmth, your legs intertwined. You felt safe, comfortable, like you were home. You could hear his heartbeat faintly beating through his chest. It was an oddly satisfying sound.
You looked at your hand that was locked with his, and lightly played with the tips of his fingers. Then you noticed how large his hand was compared to yours, but you couldn’t help but feel like your hands connected like a puzzle.
Your heart began to hurt at what she was doing. You made a promise to him last night that you were going to break. But what else would happen? What would you say? 'hey, we had sex last night and I loved every moment I spent with you. I don’t want to leave but I can’t get attached, you’ll just get harassed for sleeping with a Kook.’
Your eyes traveled to his lips that were still a bit plump from last night. You felt a small tingling sensation on your lips. Your eyes then drifted to his closed eyes. His long eyelashes lightly laid on his upper cheeks.
Your thoughts took you back to when he looked you right in his eyes when you came undone. That’s an image you could never get rid of. The breath you let out was a bit shaky, causing him to move a bit. His arm around your shoulders pulled you towards him, a soft sigh left his lips as he smiled a little bit.
Your free hand brushed across his cheek bone, admiring the softness and smoothness of his skin, trying to count how many freckles you could see. How was it so perfect?
Your eyes started to tear up, you didn’t want to do this to him. He deserved so much better. God, it hasn’t even been 24 hours with him and you already have gotten attached. Mindlessly, your hand gently made its way through your hair, enjoying the last few minutes with the best guy you have ever met.
After staring at him for what seemed like forever, you knew you had to do this before it was too late. You lifted his arm off your shoulders and immediately replaced your body with the pillow you were laying on.
You scattered around and quickly put the clothes you borrowed back on and debated if you should really go. You knew you couldn’t stay any longer, you would get in the way of his life. You can’t do that to him, he has so much to look forward to in his life. You found a napkin and grabbed a pen that was on his desk and scribbled “I’m so so sorry” on it.
Placing the napkin on his bedside dresser, you gave him one last kiss on his cheek. As you backed away, you kept repeating to yourself that you were just another girl, it wouldn’t matter. You were a Kook and he was a Pogue, nothing would end well for either of you if word got out.
You grabbed your belongings, including your clothes and walked out of his house. You couldn’t look back, because you knew if you did, you would go running back into his arms. Slowly, you walked down the street to the nearest Starbucks and called an uber to get a ride home. You sat down at a table with your head in your hands. You felt as though you were such a bitch, you couldn’t believe you did that.
You made yourself sick. 'He deserves so much better.’ You kept repeating those words constantly. The uber arrives and you greet him, getting into the car. He drove to your street in silence as you only thought one thing, 'he won’t remember you. You’re just a one-night stand.'
The drive to your street was silent, with the driver asking a question every now and then. Becoming uninterested, you leaned your head against the window. Your thumbs fiddled together, guilt slowly eating at you.
“Miss? Are you alright?” The polite driver asked you, “yeah, just didn’t get a lot of sleep.” He nodded his head and laughed. “I know the feeling.” You licked your lips, the taste of mint still somehow lingered.
As he pulled up to the street, you thanked him and exited the car. Walking down the street, you trotted up the driveway. You pulled out the keys, immediately unlocking the front door. As soon as you walked in, you flung the keys at the table and yelled, “what is wrong with me?!”
●
The sun beamed through the window, brightening the room. The room itself was warm, but the space next to John B was cold. Squinting his eyes, he got up and closed the blinds. He turned around to greet Y/N, but was greeted by an empty space and crumpled sheets.
He got a sudden feeling of isolation as his eyes scanned the empty bedroom. The clothes he lent you were gone, your own clothes were gone. The only thing left of you was the smell of your perfume that lingered on the bed sheets.
Taking a deep breath, he walked down into the kitchen to see if you were making breakfast like you said you would.
Stepping down the stairs, he quickly looked and saw no sign of you. “She left?” He asked no one but himself. Devastated, unwanted, rejected. That’s what he felt. How could you do that? Act like you were into him, only to leave without a trace. He thought the feeling was mutual.
He thought the two of you could’ve been more than just a one night stand. There was just something about you, something that made him feel complete in some way. Sighing in defeat, he ran his hand through his hair. Walking back into his room, he plopped myself on his bed.
He went to reach for his phone when a note on a napkin caught his eye. “I’m so so sorry.” Was all it said. He stared at the piece of crumpled paper as he took it all in. Leading him on then just tossing him away. He had a gut feeling that you were different, he guessed he was wrong.
He leaned backwards, resting against the soft bed. His eyes stared at the spinning ceiling fan, only one word was on his mind, “why?”
Request: Hi!! I was wondering if u could do prompts 12, 14, 22, 25, 28, and 53 with Sarah? Thank u
Summary: You and Sarah decide to run in the rain in her backyard like you did in the past, opening up about how you really feel.
Word count: 1,048
Prompts:
12. “Dance with me.”
14. “Who cares about what they think?”
22. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?”
25. “The power went out. It’s not the end of the world.”
28. “Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.”
53. “I mean friends can just make out with each other, right?“
Laying on your best friend’s bed, you had your head in Sarah Cameron’s lap, looking out the window as the dark grey clouds rolled in. Her hand was intertwined in your hair, gently fixing any tangles you had. Music played in the background, deafening the sound of the raindrops falling on the roof.
She jumped underneath you as a loud clap of thunder echoed in the sky. You giggled as she clamped her hand over her heart. Jokingly, she shoved you off of her and off of the bed. She covered her mouth with her hands, peering over the edge of the bed to see you on the ground.
You were too busy laughing on the floor, giggling at the thumping sound you made when your body hit the floor. "Y/N I am so fucking sorry!” She said through her laughter. You rolled your eyes, sticking your hand up for her to grab, you easily pulled her down to the ground you.
She groaned in pain, slapping your arm hard. She let out a shriek of horror as the power went out. You sat up with her, watching the rain pour outside of the window. “The power went out, it’s not the end of the world.” You chuckled, getting up and fixing your shorts. “Leave me alone, we’re home alone. When the power goes out and I’m home alone I automatically think it’s a serial killer.”
You leaned against the windowsill, noticing just how hard the rain was hitting. An idea popped in your head. “Let’s go run around in the rain.” You said, looking back at Sarah. She furrowed her eyebrows at you, standing up off the ground.
“We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?” Sarah asked, joining your side. You faced her, “what? I mean why not? And since Rafe didn’t get the generators you guys needed it’ll be a bit before the power comes back on. Let’s do it, like we did when we were kids.” You grinned, grabbing her hands in yours. She looked up from your hands to your face, a light pink color on her cheeks.
“Fine.” She agreed. You both had changed into large t-shirts and shorts, towels in your hands and ready to use. The two of you stood in front of the backyard doors, watching the rain droplets fall and hit the ground. Making the first move, you opened the door and laid your towel on the patio undercover. Sarah stood inside, watching as you jumped in puddles and splashed in the cool water.
“Dance with me!” You yelled towards her, twirling around with your arms out. She walked outside, throwing the towel aside before joining you. Her smile never left her face as she pranced around in the backyard with you. You laid on your back letting the water hit your exposed skin. Sarah couldn’t help but watch you with a small smile on her face.
For the last few months, you and Sarah had been closer than normal. Sometimes being more touchy with each other, more compliments, things that people in a relationship would do. You couldn’t lie, you did start to develop feelings for your best friend of 7 years.
Sarah joined your side, smiling at the feeling of you intertwining your hands together. She bit on her bottom lip, deciding if she should bring up a certain topic. She came to a conclusion after you turned to look at her, watching as the droplets of rain trail down her facial features.
“Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.” Sarah broke the silence, watching your expression to try to figure out what you were thinking. A grin broke out on your face, blush immediately covering your cheeks.
"I- uh I didn’t- know that you- you liked girls.” You stuttered sitting up in the grass, hoping that she didn’t see the obvious pink tinted to your cheeks. She sat up with you, shrugging her shoulders. “I mean, I haven’t really told anybody that I’m bi, only Wheezie.” She admitted, her fingers picking the grass to pieces. You shook your head as an understanding, remembering the time you came out to your parents.
“How did you do it? If you don’t mind me asking.” She quietly asked. You tucked your legs underneath you as you spoke, “it wasn’t easy. I told my sister first of course, and I ended up waiting like 3 months after that to tell my parents. Before I could even start talking I started to cry. I just told them that I was bi and it got really quiet afterwards. But then they told me that it was a new change that it would take some getting used to, but they were okay with it.” You mumbled, reaching over and grabbing onto her hand
“Love is love, Sarah. Love whoever the fuck you want. Who cares what they think? If your parents don’t like that, then you can easily move in with me. My parents love you, they’ll accept you. You shouldn’t be afraid to be yourself.” You lightly squeezed her hand, a sign of reassurance. Sarah scooted towards you, wrapping her arms around your neck.
You held her tight to you, your arms comfortably around her waist. “Thank you for understanding me Y/N.” She mumbled into the crook of your neck before placing a delicate to your skin. Your body shivered as you pulled back from her.
“ I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to-” you silenced her by connecting your lips together. She grinned into the kiss, her heartbeat accelerating. She leaned into your touch, her thumb skimming over your cheek bone. Her whole body immediately felt hot as your breath fanned over her skin. She gave you that beautiful smile before giving you another kiss, your hand cupping the side of her face.
She pulled away from you, allowing you both to catch your breath. “We can’t let our friends know that this happened, they can’t win a bet.” She laughed, brushing the water droplets away from your face. Nodding your head you grinned. “I mean friends can just make out with each other, right?” You asked, cocking your head to the side.
Summary: you don’t make it out after the shooting at the Cameron’s runway, leaving your death on the shoulders of your friends.
Word count: 2,891
Warnings: Guns, violence, mentions of blood, death and sadness :(
Nothing was ever ‘normal’ in the Pogues’ lives after your brother, John B had brought up the gold of the Royal Merchant. Never in your whole life of living there would you imagine sitting in his van, watching Ward Cameron’s private plane fly right towards you both.
Never in your life would you imagine square groupers shooting at your friends on a boat. Never in your life would you imagine how dangerous a simple treasure hunt truly could be. Never in your life would you imagine yourself lying on a concrete roadway, blood covering your clothes. Never in your whole life would you pictured your life to end so soon.
You stood outside the van with John B and Sarah, watching as Officer Peterkin forced Ward Cameron onto his knees with his hands above his head. “You’re under arrest for the murder of 'Big John’ Routledge.” You let out a large sigh of relief as your tears welled with tears. John B held you in his arms, rocking you back and forth. “We did it Y/N, we did it.” He grinned down to his sister.
You released your brother, allowing him to comfort Sarah as she watched her father get handcuffs placed on his wrists. Ward pushed away from officer Peterkin, causing her to draw her gun out of her holster. You stepped forward, making sure he wouldn’t be able to run away. John B protected Sarah in his arms, turning her away from the gun.
A loud gunshot echoed through the air, your body experiencing a sharp pain in your chest. “Y/N.” John B whispered from behind you. You and Peterkin locked eyes before looking at each other’s gunshot wounds. You fell to your knees, your chest heaving as you suddenly felt all the air in your body leave your body.
You remained on your knees for a moment before watching Rafe Cameron appear from behind the plane. John B couldn’t remove his eyes from you, his grip tightening on Sarah, watching you bleed out on the cement. You fell onto your back, the bright blue sky looking more beautiful than ever.
You heard your brother shuffle towards you and Peterkin. The officer quickly shook her head, “help your sister.” John B fell to his knees, his hand finding the gunshot on your chest and applying pressure to it. “Call!” Peterkin wheezed out loud. Sarah took John B’s place next to you, using your brother’s bandana as something to stop the blood from pouring out.
Sarah hovered over you, “it’s okay Y/N,” she cried out, “it’s gonna be okay.” She tried to reassure you. John B attempted to grab the officer’s radio, only to get it taken by Ward. John B took his spot next to you, his fingers brushing your hair away from your face. A tear rolled down the side of your face as you reached your hand up to cup the side of his face.
“You need to go find everyone.” You said, your voice barely audible. He shook his head, his tears already spilling out of his eyes. “No, please you’re all I have left of our family.” He begged, his hands shaking. You carefully reached up and untied the bandana that was around your neck. When John B bought his first bandana, he got you a red one knowing that was your favorite color.
You grabbed onto his hand, placing the fabric into his palm. He clutched it in his hand and held it to his heart. “I love you Y/N.” He sobbed, resting your head in his lap. “Dad and I will be watching over you. You’ve been the best brother I could ever ask for. I love you Johnny boy.” You said, having a feeling these words would be the last ones you would say to him.
He leaned down to give you a kiss on the forehead before running away. He hesitated and did a double take to look at you before booking it away from the scene. Sarah fell to her knees next to you, her hand holding your head up.
"I’m gonna die aren’t I?“ You asked mindlessly, your mind thinking about your boyfriend JJ. Sarah sobbed at your question. She held onto your hand, "no, no it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay and John B is gonna be okay. You got this.” She tried to reassure you.
“Sarah, please don’t break my brother’s heart. He really loves you.” You admitted, feeling as if your body was burning. Your mouth had gone dry and you couldn’t stop coughing as blood filled your lungs. Your eyes slowly started to flutter shut, Sarah gently shook your head. “I won’t Y/N, please just stay with me!” “Tell JJ I love him.” Was the last thing you said before giving into the bright light that shines above you.
______________________
“Y/N Routledge?” John B, Sarah and the rest of the Pogues all stood up from their chairs, all of them tapping their feet. “We’re so sorry for your loss.” The words easily left the doctors mouth, but impaled everyone’s hearts.
JJ felt as if the breath had been knocked out of him as he reached to sit down in his chair so he wouldn’t fall over. “Wh-what?” Was all his mouth could say.
“She was losing too much blood, as soon as she was injured there was no going back. We tried everything we could.” The doctor explained.
Pope held onto Kiara as they both began to cry. Losing someone who was like a sister to them, someone who would drop whatever she was doing and go spend time with them. Someone who made so many memories with them, and they’re gone now.
JJ put his hand on John B’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. JB’s mouth had fallen open, “no, no that can’t be right.” John B spoke as he shook his friends hand off of his shoulder.
“JB-” He cut JJ off, “No! No! She was supposed to grow up with me! She promised when we grow older she would help me plan my wedding with Sarah, help me find a house, she promised me. She-she can’t be gone.” He sobbed loudly as his body suddenly felt weak.
John B stood there after his shout, his body felt like static. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream so loudly it’d break glass, he wanted to make the pain go away. But all he could do was stand there, he didn’t want to believe this was it.
_________________________________
The funeral
John B took in everyone’s appearance as they gathered around the hole that held the wooden casket. Black. Black dresses, black shirts and pants, everything was dead. The only family you had that cared about you was John B, Sarah, and your Pogues you considered family as well. No one there had not been able to stop crying, none of them had gotten sleep.
John B twirled a single white rose in his hand before reaching down and placing it in the hole in the ground. His free hand clenched the bandana you had given him in his hand. The brother had his friends around him, all of them putting rose’s on the lid of your casket.
John B asked JJ to speak about you, knowing he wouldn’t be able to speak once he stood up there. JJ didn’t want to lie, he was terrified. Not of public speaking, but if he spoke about you then he would realize you were actually dead. But there he stood at a wooden stand, in front of a small crowd of people.
His hands clutched onto the sides of the stand, so hard that his knuckles were turning white. He had attempted to write out what he wanted to say on paper, but he could never get the words right of what he wanted to say.
“My name is JJ Maybank, and Y/N Routledge is- was my girlfriend. She wasn’t only my girlfriend, but my best friend. My whole life I was making stupid decisions, hanging out with the wrong crowd, not doing well in school, etc. But she was right by my side to help me through all my mistakes and failures. She was always there to be a shoulder to cry on and a person to hug. She would always let me lay my head in her lap and she would play with my hair when she knew something was up with me.” His voice wavered as he looked up to the sky to hold back his tears.
“Y/N Routledge was not only a beautiful woman, but she had a heart of gold. She had a soul so pure Angel’s are jealous they can’t have that sort of kindness. She put people before herself, but always knew when to focus on herself. She would drop everything she was going and run to her brother or any of her friends if they needed her help. I hate having to use past tense- I never thought her life would be taken so soon.” JJ mumbled the last part as a tear slipped from his eye.
“I wish I could have saved her- I should have saved her. And I’m sorry I let you all down because here we are. Y/N Routledge was and will forever be in our hearts, our memories, our lives no matter what. I have cherished so many moments with her that I know I will never forget. She’s the love of my life, and I wish we all could have had our happily ever afters.”
________________________________
After the funeral
John B walked up to JJ with a folded piece of paper in his hand. “Y/N left this for you.” JJ’s throat tightened as he took the paper out of his friends hand. “How did you find this?” “It was in her desk drawer.”
“She left one for all of us.” John B said before walking away from him. JJ hesitantly opened the paper as he began to read it.
“Dear JJ,
Hi my love. If you’re reading this, that means something happened to me and I died. I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but I know one thing you’re thinking is 'why did she write this?’ Ever since the first encounter with the square groupers shooting at us in the marsh, I know life here at the OBX was not going to be easy. So I started writing this incase something were to happen to me. I pray to God that you never actually have to read this, but you never know. But I do know you, and I know you’re probably blaming yourself. JJ listen, do not blame yourself over anything that happens to me. You were the love of my life, the reason I woke up everyday with a smile. My whole life I only felt true love when I was with you, and I will never forget those feelings you gave me, and I hope you don’t forget the feelings I gave you. Thank you for being my partner and crime, my best friend, my love, and my life. Please take care of yourself, don’t let this stop you from living your life, I don’t want you guys mourning. This is life, people come and go, everything will be okay in the end. If anyone could have saved me, it would have been you. Because you, JJ Maybank, have saved me from everything else.
Your love,
Y/N Routledge♡
JJ ripped his eyes away from the paper as he let out a loud cry. He read the whole thing in your voice. He could practically hear every tone you would have used if you actually read that aloud. He felt broken, he felt lost, he wanted you back so badly. But sadly, there’s nothing to fix the fact that your journey has already come to an end.
The other letters:
Dear Kiara,
My big ball of energy, and confidence! God I wish I didn’t have to write this, but every day may be the last and I want you to hear my words. You, my best friend, are such an amazing person. When I first met you and found out you were a Kook, I thought you would hate me. But you Kiara Carrera, were nothing what I expected you to be. When my brother introduced me to you, I knew we would become best friends. Not because my brother made us but because you are one of my favorite people ever. You never failed to make me smile, you always talked to me when I needed you, you’ve helped me make so many memories and I will forever be thankful for you. When I first saw you smile I felt this warm vibe radiating off of you. I felt absolutely blessed to be able to view you as a sister. You always showed me love, you stood up for me, you made me laugh when I needed it. In my eyes you are a complete angel, and I know sometimes you doubt that, but I want you to know that nothing will change what we think about you. I’m sorry I left so soon, I wanted to be able to go to the bar with you and maybe even move in together. Thank you for everything you have done for John B and I, I will forever be grateful for you. I love you so much hun, always and forever♡
With much love,
Y/N Routledge
__________________________
Dear Pope,
I watched you grow up since you met my brother back in elementary school, and I’m proud of you, so fucking proud. You have not only grown but matured while still acting like the dork you are. I remember on my 14th birthday you didn’t know what to get me so you asked JJ and John B for opinions. Then you showed up to my house with a basket of all my favorite foods. That was the night I got sick from eating too much :) you have done so much for me, from bringing me good when I was on my period to literally pulling me out of a well in the basement of some creepy lady. I know you’re gonna do amazing things with your life, I know you’re aching to get into college with scholarships. I know for a fact that you will get into anything you put your mind to because you are the smartest person I have ever met. Don’t give up Pope, you got this.♡
Love you so much,
Y/N Routledge
________________________________
Dear Sarah,
When I first met you, I thought you were just another Kook that loved showing off daddy’s money, but I was so wrong and I apologize for that. You have been nothing but an angel to my family of Pogues. You have made me laugh so easily when I needed it. You took my mind off of things that hurt me. You drove us around town at 2 in the morning because we both couldn’t sleep. I can’t even tell you how thankful I am to know you’re dating my brother, he’s in good hands. He really does love you, you know. He always grins whenever your name comes up in conversation, he will defend you in a heartbeat if he has to. Please take care of his heart. I know we only recently became friends, but I just want you to know I appreciate everything you have done for me. You have a heart of gold, Sarah Cameron, never change for anyone. ♡
Sending love,
Y/N Routledge
__________________________________
Dear Johnny Boy,
John B, I’m so sorry you’re reading this. I wish there was some way I could prevent you from ever reading this but life throws wild cards at you from every position. Johnny you were my best friend in the whole world. Since we were born you and I have been attached by the heart. I feel so honored to have watched you grow up into who you are today. An intelligent, kind, loving, and handsome teenager. You have such a bright future ahead of you and you are going to absolutely own your life. I am so happy you found Sarah before something happened to me, I know Sarah will do anything to show you she loves you. You are the best brother anyone could ask for. You’re my favorite person to go to the playground with, my favorite person to watch horror and sci fi movies with, my favorite person to binge eat all of the food in the fridge. You have helped me through it all even from a young age. Thank you for that. I’m sorry dad hasn’t seen you grow and develop within these last few months, but I know he would be proud of you, of us. I’ll tell him you said hi when I see him. Take care of the Pogues and yourself please. I want to see all of you thrive in the future, okay? Promise to me and yourself that you will wake up every day, drink water, and eat. I love you Johnny boy. Forever and always. Thank you for being the best brother ever♡
Summary: Based on ‘Where Were You in the Morning’ by Shawn Mendes.
Word count: 2,360
Warnings: PURE SMUT! Grinding, oral sex (male receiving and female receiving), fingering, slight choking kink, bandana kink, small praising/ good girl kink, protected sex.
You straddled John B’s lap as your tongues fought for dominance. His hands trailing up the small of your back, giving you goosebumps. He gripped your hips as he easily flipped you underneath him.
Your lips danced with each other’s, every piece of your mouth’s were explored by each other’s tongue. He lightly sucked on your already swollen bottom lip. His hand trailed up your chest, skimming your breasts as it made its way up to your neck. His fingertips applied pressure on the side of your neck, earning him a moan of pleasure which aroused John B.
He swiftly ran his tongue along your collarbone as he breathed heavily. “Lay back,” you demanded. He laid back, his eyes showing hunger for you. You crawled back on top of him, straddling his waist. You dipped your head down towards his neck, lips hovered over him, warm breath hitting his skin. His hands massaged your butt, guiding it to grind down on him.
You planted a small kiss on his neck, enjoying the small shudder he released at the overwhelming feeling of your clothes area rubbing against his. Peppering small kisses around his chest and neck, you found his sweet spot. As soon as your lips attached to it, he let out a moan at the contact.
That sound. That sound immediately made your core ache for his touch, wanting to just rip his clothes off he enjoyed the feeling of your lips attached to his neck. Harshly sucking on the area, you soothed it, running her tongue gently across the mark.
You placed kisses from his shoulders to his neck, your lips and tongue lightly traced his jawline. You two could hear both of your heartbeats racing against time. One of his hands held your waist as the other continued to guide your lower half across his covered cock. You quickly pulled away from him and stood up, ignoring your whimper at the loss of his touch, your eyes never breaking contact.
You reached down and pulled his shirt off your torso, exposing the maroon laced bra you luckily wore. His eyes roamed to your chest, while yours looked at the large tent forming in his boxers. After taking his shorts off, you were left only in the bra and matching underwear. He admired the way your curves looked. His eyes were gentle, yet looked like they wanted every piece of you.
You couldn’t help but blush at this small gesture. John B bit his lower lip as he wondered how lucky he got with you. Not for your looks, but for your personality. He stood up, making his way towards you. His hands touched your now naked skin, rubbing down your shoulders and towards your back.
“So beautiful,” he whispered under his breath, earning a small blush from you. You leaned up towards him, your soft lips ghosting his, mumbling “you’re wearing too much clothes.” Your hands wandered around his body, lightly tugging at the end of his shirt. He quickly pulled his shirt off, showing his broad chest.
His hands stroked down your arms and stopped at the hands, carefully taking yours in his. He gave your hands a small squeeze, asking if you wanted to continue. Instantly, you gave him a nod, a smile rising to both your faces. He’s gentle, he’s caring, he’s handsome. 'God he’s gonna be the death of me.’ You thought to yourself.
You got down on your knees, fingers teasing at his waistband. You could feel his entire body tense up as you placed a solid kiss at his v-line. For a moment you could swear he stopped breathing as he stared down at you. John B’s stomach flipped at your soft touch. He didn’t know how but he was jello under your touch. Maybe it was your eyes or the way your mouth and hands worked, but something just got to him.
You tilted your eyes up, an innocent smile on your face as your fingers slowly pulled down his pants. He stepped out of them, his eyes never leaving yours. You couldn’t help but get tingly down there as he stared down at you. Eye contact was such an intimate thing for you. You gently rubbed him through the fabric of his boxers, being proud as you felt him melt into your touch. Your eyes flickered up at him, he already had his head back, his jawline filled with small marks you gracefully left.
You rubbed him for a few more seconds before deciding he’s had enough. Looping your fingers around his waistband, you pulled them down to his ankles. His erected cock sprang up, bouncing around a bit. Suddenly your mouth felt like it had gotten dry, but another area of you was soaking wet.
You listened to his breath hitch when you grabbed his shaft. You flattened your tongue out, licking along the side of his cock.
He moaned in pleasure as he tangled his hands in your hair. Swirling your tongue around his tip, you began to take more of him in.
You focused your eyes on him as you pushed herself forward, his tip hitting the back of the throat. The way he withered under your touch. The way he moaned your name. The way he would lick his lips and watch you please him. “Fuck Y/N.” John B groaned, his fingers gathering a bundle of your hair.
“Just like that.” He mumbled as you began to bob her head up and down. “Fuck. That pretty little mouth of yours is gonna make me cum.” His words encouraged you as you grabbed the back of his thighs to steady yourself.
He held your head in place as he began to thrust into your mouth. Looking up to see his face beginning to scrunch up, he was signalling he was close to releasing himself.
“That’s it, fuck.” he moaned, swinging his hips front to back. Your hands pumped the area you couldn’t fit, his low grunts and moans were music to your ears.
Your hand reached down into your underwear, gently swirling your ring finger and middle finger on your clit. His eyes averted from your mouth to your hand, his head falling back, neck vein popping out and throbbing.
He held your head in place as his other hand reached around, entangling itself into your hair. He let out hisses as he released himself in your mouth, his chest heaving heavily as you licked his tip clean. You stood back up, your lips pressing together as if your lives depended on it. Your lips molded like a puzzle, with each move was a new completed piece.
His hands reached behind you and unclipped the bra, leaving you only in the underwear. He gently kneaded your breasts with both hands, his lips making small nips at your neck. “John B.” You moaned out when he found your sweet spot. He let out a hushed, almost animalistic growl as he pushed you backwards onto the bed.
His fingers hooked into your underwear and roughly pulled them down. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He gaped, looking at your center. “Wait, I want to try something.” He said, standing up from his spot. He grabbed onto a bandana from his dresser, walking towards you. “Can I blindfold you?"
You thought for a moment before nodding your head. "Let me know if you need me to stop or take it off of you.” He said softly, trying the fabric around your eyes. You nodded your head, grinning after he gave you a reassuring kiss. You felt him get back into the position he was originally in before. You felt him place delicate kisses along your thighs, creeping up slowly to your core.
“Please John B-” you were about to beg, only to stop yourself as soon as he licked a flat strip along your folds. You squirm underneath his touch, letting out a moan as his tongue flicked your sensitive numb. He lapped up your juices, holding your pelvis down with his hands, restraining you from moving too much.
He pulled away from your core, his fingers collecting your juices on his fingers before letting a drop of spit fall onto your folds. He inserted his index and middle finger into you before you could blink. He was pumping them in and out at a rapid pace, please with himself as he held open your thighs that were attempting to shut. “That’s a good girl, you like it when I fuck you with my fingers, don’t you?” He asked, picking up the pace.
All of a sudden he stopped his hand, you sighed loudly, slowly feeling a building sensation in your stomach. He waited a moment before moving only the tips of his fingers, curling them up and brushing against your G-spot. You bit your tongue when he used his thumb to apply pressure on your clit.
“Come on baby, you’re almost there.” John B praised before reaching down and adding his tongue to your pleasure. His tongue slithered between your folds, grinning against your skin as your fingers latched onto the hairs on his head. You clenched around his fingers, releasing yourself of the pent up feeling. Your chest heaved up and down as your vision spotted.
“That’s my good girl.” He grinned, reaching up to kiss you so you could taste yourself. His hand reached up behind your head, untying the bandana from your eyes, he pulled away from you, “Seeing you squirm under my touch was one of the fucking hottest things I’ve ever seen.” He leaned in and gave you another kiss before lying you back down on the bed.
He quickly rolled on a condom he had pulled from his dresser. He teasingly rubbed his cock up and down your slit as you attempted to catch your breath. Your arms wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling his face close to yours. The two of you smiled as you shared a kiss, which was something new compared to the other guys you had been with. The guys before were just quick, and wanted what they wanted. But John B, God he was so different.
He kissed you with ease, with more passion than before. You needed him more than ever as his hands roamed your body. His lips never left yours as he guided himself into you. You moaned into his mouth as he hunched over, gripping your hips as he swayed back and forth. Your back arching every time he hit your spot. His hand reconnected with your throat, pushing you to use your nails to scratch down his back, surely leaving marks.
“Fuck you feel so good.” John B groaned. He wasn’t going at a fast pace which surprised you. It was a soothing pace, making sure to pull out a bit before thrusting himself back in. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he slowly slammed his hips into you, applying more pressure to your throat.
His other hand roamed to your chest, his thumb and index finger softly pinched at your nipples. Your eyes widened when an idea popped into your head. “John B, stop.” He immediately pulled out and released your throat, a worried look on his face. “Did I do something wrong? Was the-” you cut him off, “I want to ride you.” His mouth dropped open a bit as he tried to speak. He only nodded as he laid on his back. You straddled over him, using your hand to guide his cock back into you.
The position was something new you were trying, but the feeling of it was something you found a new love for. His hands were firmly placed on your hips, holding you down as you started to rock back and forth. John B let out a deep moan as you whimpered, admiring the contact you were making with him. He forced his head against the pillows as his fingers dug into your skin. “Taking my cock like the good girl you are.” He smirked, his eyes burning into yours as you saw the beads of sweat start to form on his forehead.
“I could get used to this view.” John B joked, you dipped your head back down and laughed a bit. “You and me both.” “Holy shit” left your mouth as he pushed you down against his hips, thrusting himself into you. You leaned forward, wanting to try something else. Your hand wrapped around his throat, feeling his cock clench inside of you as you applied pressure. “Who knew John B had a choking kink.” You laughed before moaning as he lifted his hip from the mattress, colliding with yours. The only sounds anyone could hear at the moment were your moans and the sound of your skin being forced together.
“Y/N” your name rolled off his tongue as you grind your hips against his fast thrusts. A string of curse words slipped out of your mouth when his fingers were back to playing with your clit. You lightly squeezed his throat again, his thrusts got much faster, making your toes curl, getting a warm feeling in your stomach. You felt his cock twitch, signalling he was ready too.
Your eyes squeezed shut as you tilted your head back in pleasure. His hand cupped your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Open those eyes, I want to see you come undone." You clenched around him and released yourself, using one of your hands to hold onto his bicep that kept you from falling over. "John B!” You moaned out, which was followed by another string of curse words. His cock twitched inside of you, as your toes curled and legs clenched.
He slowed down his pace before pulling out of you. You fell next to him as you panted, your warm breaths mixed together, your sweaty skin stuck to one another. You smiled when he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. You cuddled against him, leaving a tiny kiss right on his neck before closing your eyes, your hand resting on his chest.
Summary: A series based on ‘Where Were You in the Morning’ by Shawn Mendes.
Word count: 1,389
Warnings: underaged drinking (lmk if I missed anything else.
You sat on a tree stump at the beach, by yourself only having a red solo cup in your hand. Your new friend had invited you to come join her at this party, but you soon realized she either didn’t show up, or ditched you for someone else.
You told yourself you would go interact with people after you had finished your first drink, but the closer you got to finishing it the more nervous you got. Hearing a harsh sloshing sound coming towards you, you looked up to see an attractive brunette boy, walking towards you with the keg in his hands. You furrowed your eyebrows together as he plopped it in the sand right in front of you.
“You did not just carry a whole keg to me.” You laughed as the boy sat next to you. “ I had to do something. You look absolutely miserable and I can tell you’re dreading the fact that you’d probably go socialize even though you don’t want to.” He grinned, pointing down to your empty cup. “Am I right?” You chuckled as you watched him pour you another drink.
Your eyes flickered up to him and you took in his appearance. He had a blue bandana around his neck, fluffy and shiny brunette hair, a soft smile on his lips. He had a button down shirt with only the last few buttons done. He was fairly tan and ripped underneath his shirt. His hair was wavy, with small curls on the ends of the tips. His eyes were brown as the shadows, but like honey in the lights.
“Y/F/N Y/L/N.” You introduced yourself, his large hand gripped your small one. “John B.”
“So why are you here all alone? You look like the type to have a lot of friends.” You smiled at his words, watching as John B ran his hands through his hair, a smile on his face. He noticed how gorgeous you were, which lured him towards you when he saw you alone. “I moved here about a week ago and I made friends with this one girl Camille and she told me I should come tonight but she kinda just… never showed up.” You purse your lips, taking another sip from your drink.
“I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Screw her, you got a better friend now!” John B grinned, throwing an arm around your shoulder. You nodded as you gently leaned into his touch. “And an attractive one.” You mumbled as his jaw jokingly dropped. “You think I’m attractive?” He gasped, covering his mouth with his hand. You pulled away from his grasp, your heart racing at the sound of his laugh.
The joking tone immediately turned tense as John B took in how beautiful you really were. “I uh- would you wanna get out of here?” He offered. You nodded your head, letting John B lead you by the hand to his vehicle.
The ride back to his house was short, the two of you chatting about yourselves and things you liked. He pulled into his yard, putting the van to a stop. As he escorted you out of the vehicle, he grabbed your hand in his, leading you to the front door.
John B invited you into his house, which already gave you a warm welcome. “Welcome to Casa De John B. Also known as the chateau." He laughed as he spread his arms out, presenting his residence. "It’s so… homey in here” you smiled. “It’s not much, but it’s home.” JB smiled, tapping on the doorway frame.
“Sorry for the mess, I made pancakes earlier and forgot to clean up.” He mumbled, mentally cursing at himself for not fixing up his house.
You rested against the counter, “I make the best pancakes ever.” You proudly spoke. He raised his eyebrows as a smirk danced across his lips.
“I guess you’ll have to make them for me in the morning.” You turned your head toward the floor, hoping he wouldn’t catch the pink color on your cheeks. “I promise that you will be able to taste the most amazing pancakes tomorrow morning.” You leaned forward and adjusted your shirt that was slowly riding up.
John B noticed you were uncomfortable and offered you a pair of clothes. “I would really appreciate that.” He walked into his room and returned a minute later with a t-shirt and shorts.
“The bathroom is down the hall to the right, when you’re done I’ll be in the backyard.” You nodded and walked to the bathroom. Tugging the shorts and tank top off your body, you slipped on his large shirt and shorts.
You folded up the clothes, leaving them on the seat by the kitchen island and walked towards the backyard. John B, too had changed into a more comfortable outfit. He was setting up wood in a fire pit.
He looked up when he heard you rustling in the grass, his smile instantly glowed in the night. “I was thinking we could look at the stars, if that’s alright. I don’t want to sound too cliche-”
You stopped him mid sentence, “I love star gazing.” Smiling, he nodded his head towards a large hammock that was tied between two trees. Getting the hint, you climbed in and watched him finish setting up the wood. He used a lighter to ignite the wood, your eyes were drawn to his hands that for some reason you found attractive.
He walked over to the hammock and laid himself next to you, his arm immediately wrapping around your shoulders. Your body instinctively leaned towards him. Your arm was draped across his stomach, head on his chest allowing you to hear his rather fast heartbeat. There was something blissful about the surroundings.
You could hear the firewood crackling, the crickets in the nearby bushes, the sounds of small waves echoed by the dock. You could hear his shallow breath as he exhaled through his nose. His heartbeat remained at a fast pace the entire time.
You two stayed like that for a bit, just relaxing in the night. You looked up at John B, noticing his face was beaming. He turned his head down towards you, his eyes staring into yours. “The stars are reflecting and shimmering in your eyes, and I can’t help but be attracted to that.”
His eyes flickered from yours, down to your lips. You two both began slowly inching forward, he propped himself up on his elbow. He leaned his head down and attached his lips to yours.
To begin with, it was a soft, subtle kiss, just to see how it was. Neither of you wanted to pull away, you didn’t want it to end. However, at some point you both slowly pulled away and admired the look in each other’s eyes. You guys knew you both wanted each other, and there was nothing holding you back.
He reconnected your lips with his, dancing with hers, as if you had practiced a specific routine hundreds of times.
His tongue licked across your bottom lip, begging for access to the rest of your mouth. You granted him permission as his tongue fought with yours. John B pulled away for a moment to adjust himself to get more comfortable.
But the hammock that held you had different plans. As he was about to kiss you again, the hammock flipped around, knocking you both to the ground. You hid your face in your hands, giggling like you were on top of the world, cause that’s how you felt.
John B was next to you, his face buried in the grass, he was laughing with you at the mishap. He flipped his head up, looking at you, crinkles by his eyes indicated he was smiling.
Whenever he smiled you felt like the world was a better place. Like even though there’s so much bad around, there’s always going to be safety with him. In that one action, you felt like you have seen every inch of his kind, pure hearted soul.
Running your hand through his hair, you two laid there for a bit, your lips still tingling from his touch. “Wanna go inside?” He asked, leaning his head into the palm of your hand. You smiled at him, nodding your head yes.
Lost Sweater: Alternative Universe where when one person loses something, their soulmate receives it.
Safe Haven:Kie arrives at your house, shaken up and wounded. You take care of her, letting her know she’s gonna be okay.
Three Bodyguards: Kiara deals with a serious issue, not wanting to bother her Pogues she distance herself from them until they get the truth out of her.
My Hero:Kie takes you out of the house after you’ve been studying, making sure this is a night to ease your mind.
John B Routledge
Hazel Brown:AU where your world is in black and white until you meet your soulmate, then everything turns into color.
Stress Release:Friends with benefits; Two friends who trust each other enough to engage in sexual activity without fear of hurting the other’s feelings.
If The World Was Ending: Inspired by If The World Was Ending by JP Saxe and Julia Michael’s + Laying On My Porch While We Watch The World End by Powfu.
Sarah Cameron
Playdate in the Rain:You and Sarah decide to run in the rain in her backyard like you did in the past, opening up about how you really feel.
Overnight stay:Instead of the boys leaving Kie with Sarah on a boat overnight, they to let you two get rid of your grievances first.
Topper Thornton
Lazy Day:You and Topper decide to spend some more time together after a lazy day.
Summary: you finally tell Rafe the truth as to why you don’t want to go to parties anymore.
Word count: 1,039
Warnings: mentions of sexual assault and harrassment, underage drinking. If you are not comfortable with these topics please do not read.
I’m just saying this now if you ever need to speak to somebody about certain topics please do not be afraid to ask for help. Call or text hotlines, talk to somebody. You are not alone.
You laid down, back against your bed and fluffy blanket. Isolated. That was all you felt in life for since the beginning of freshman year of high school. You had one friend who had been there since the beginning, Rafe Cameron. Rafe was one of the best things to have ever happened to you. He would always come over when you called, even when you didn’t he would always come over to check on you. He would bring your food and ice cream when you had your period. He treated you like you were somebody, and that’s all you could ask for.
It was a Friday night of your senior year, everyone at the ‘beginning of the last year’ party at some girl’s house. Rafe wanted you to come, but he knew how you felt about those things. He instead joined you this night, plopping himself onto your bed.
“You know if you really wanted to go to that party, you could have gone.” You spoke to him after a few seconds of silence, sitting up from your position to look at him.
“But if you’re not there I’m not interested.” Rafe declared, offering you a soft smile. You knew he was lying, you knew he wanted to go out, drink and have fun. You never explained to him why you hated parties or gatherings. You always just said you weren’t feeling well or had other things to do.
“I don’t want to party anymore Rafe, I’m sorry.” You mumbled, looking down, playing with the hem of your shirt.
“Y/N why won’t you just come out to party for once? The last time we went to one was like in freshman year when we hung out with Kelce.” Rafe brought up, you uncomfortably shifted in your spot.
He began listing off reasons aloud as to why you would not want to go. As much as you loved him, he was oblivious to many things, especially emotions.
“Was it because you drank?"
"Rafe-”
“Because you were nervous?”
“Ra-”
“Because you broke your curfew?”
“Rafe. Stop-”
“Was it because you hooked up with Kelce?”
“Rafe!"
You had enough as you yelled out. He visibly flinched at the sound of you yelling. "I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to get you upset.” He whispered.
“It’s fine. But I want you to know I didn’t 'hook up’ with Kelce.” You nervously stated. He furrowed his eyebrows together. “What do you mean? I mean, he told his friends all about it."
"You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked for mine.” Your heart was pounding a mile a minute. Your mouth all of a sudden felt dry, your hands slowly began to shake.
“What do you mean?” He asked, shifting towards you.
You sighed softly as you stopped the eye contact with him.
“The beginning of the year party. It was you, me, Kelce, Topper and a group of other people. When we were all in the basement playing the drinking games I told you I had to go to the bathroom. So I went back upstairs, but I didn’t know Kelce followed me. I went into the bathroom and did my thing. When I went to wash my hands Kelce walked in and at first he was like, "oh I’m sorry.” But then he entered and closed the door behind him.“ You tried your best not to stumble over your words, but you never spoke about this to anyone.
"He-he cornered me in there. His breath smelled like straight vodka, god I can still smell it. He tried kissing me but when I denied him, he got mad. I went to smack him but I ended up scratching his face, that’s where he got the marks from. Not from me being 'rough in bed’. He forced my hands against my sides.. and he just kept kissing me. He kept saying how I 'wanted this’. He kept kissing my lips, my cheeks, my chest, my neck. I felt helpless in that span of 30 seconds, it felt like 2 hours.” You admit, your body shaking with every raspy breath you take. You never thought about talking about it, let alone to another guy. You always thought no one would believe you. Rafe sat there in bewilderment that all of this happened so long ago to you, his best friend. It crushed his heart and made his blood boil to know that Kelce did it.
“He pushed his body against mine but he was angled to the point where I could knee him and get away. It could have been much worse, but ever since then I just… I can’t do it. I don’t want that to happen again. I don’t like parties or even gatherings. I can’t.” You stopped talking, only to realize your body had been shaking and tears were easily streaming down your face.
“And everytime you were with him and he would make a comment about me, you wouldn’t say anything. When he said that he would be the only guy to touch me, you didn’t say anything. You made me feel like I’m not good enough. You didn’t say a single thing.” You finished. Rafe rubbed his hands over his face, taking in every word you just said.
“God next time I see him I’m gonna wrap my hands around his throat.” Rafe was furious at Kelce and himself for not even asking you what happened. “I’m so sorry Y/N I didn’t say anything. He’s- was my friend who was a part of the popular group and I just wanted to fit in. I didn’t even think about how that affected you and I’m so fucking sorry. Come here.”
Rafe leaned against the headrest of the bed and opened his arms up. You slowly but surely laid into his arms, you started to weep. Nobody had ever held you like this, but Rafe knew you needed it more than ever. “Shhh. It’s okay princess, I’m right here.” He whispered as he ran his fingers through your hair.
“I won’t ever let that happen to you again.” He pressed a reassuring kiss to your head as he rested his cheek on top of yours. “I’m right here."
Hi guys! I just wanted to say thank you for liking my writing and commenting and sending me requests! I didn’t think these would get any attention but I’m so thankful for it! I can’t wait to continue writing for you guys!
97. “Give me your jacket, I’m freezing.”
98. “These shoes were made to kick you in the ass!”
99. “Are you okay?” “I don’t know how to answer that.”
100. “It’s no big deal, its just a few scratches.”
101. “I’m so cute, I don’t see why you aren’t dating me.”
102. “We made a deal and you’ll keep your end, one way or another.”
103. “You look cute when you smile, you should do it more often.”
104. “Why are you blushing?”
105. “I’m always here and you just ignore me.”
106. “I’ve worked my ass off to get you in this position.”
107. “Grab my hand!”
108. “No, listen to me.”
109. “I don’t know if I can keep going like this.”
110. “There’s no shame in taking a step back.”
111. “I’ll kill you, you sick bastard. I’ll killyou, you’re a fucking monster who deservesto die.”
112. “Is that… a dog?” “No, Its a fucking horse. Of course its a dog, dumbass.”
113. “I walked here to you in the rain, this is how much I love you.”
114. “You are quite the mystery, aren’t you?”
115. “Let go of me!” “I’m barely touching you!!”
116. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.”
117. “Do you believe in love?”
118. “Put me down!”
119. “You’re so small, it’s adorable.”
120. “Look, this isn’t a guilt-trip: I just genuinely want to know if you dislike me so I can stop bothering you.”
121. “We can’t be friends anymore.”
122. “Open your fucking eyes, it’s so obvious that I’m in love with you!”
123. “Don’t you dare touch him/her.”
124. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
125. “Don’t do anything stupid, I’m gonna help you.”
126. “They say less is more, but when have I lived by that?”
127. “Hey, don’t touch anything. I don’t know how stable it all is.”
128. “I hate how you’ve made me broken.”
129. “I’m a screamer. Not sexually, just at life in general.” “I can make that sexually.
130. “This isn’t one of my more subtle plans, but considering how long it’s been since I ate or drank or slept, I think I’m doing pretty good.”
131. “If I wanted you dead, this room would be a lot quieter.”
132. “Do you ever shut up?”
133. “You’re such an ass!” “But a fine looking one, yes?”
134. “You’re safe now, I’ve got you.”
135. "Since when did you become a badass?”
136. “I don’t know why, but I think I’m in love with you.”
137. “Holy shit! You’re bleeding!”
138. “I’d like to talk to you when you have your pants on, okay?”
139. “If anyone could have saved me, it would have been you.”
140. “Everyone has a breaking point.”
141. “I refuse to play along with this. No thank you, go away.”
142. “What now?” “I don’t know, I didn’t think we’d live this long.”
143. “They might not want you, but I understand you, and- well, I like who you are and I want you. Please don’t believe what they say.”
144. “Are you done staring?”
145. “Never let go.”
146. “You broke your promise, you can’t come back from that.”
147. “Hey, are you awake?”
148. “I love how we all use affectionate pet names and flirt with one another. It’s nice, having such a close knit group of friends, you know?” “Okay but have you considered: fuckpile.”
149. “Stay here, I’m gonna go get help.”
150. “Despite what you think, I can actually express emotions just like any other person.”
151. “I’m so sorry-” “Then why would you do that to me?! You betrayed me!”
152. “It happened again.”
153. “I don’t like you, but for some reason you make me feel fuzzy.”
154. “Can I kiss you?”
155. “I don’t want to be okay without you.”
156. “Me? What about you?”
157. “Oh shit, okay. I’m gonna toss you over my shoulder and book it okay, no way I’m trying to fight these fools. Don’t bleed out onto my back, ‘kay?”
158. “I’ve been thinking about you. More specifically, where you fit in my future.”
159. “I didn’t ever think I’d fall for someone like you.”
160. “Stop fighting!”
161. “Don’t ever talk to me ever again.”
162. “Please, just give me a break. I’ve been so busy, trying so fucking hard- I’m doing the best I can. Please, please don’t ask more of me.”
163. “I wish I could lovingly craft the words together to describe how angry you make me.”
164. “Looks like we both have detention together.”
165. “It was over when you said goodbye to me.”
166. “I hate school and everyone in it.” “Even me?”“You’re an exception.”
167. “Kiss me.” “No thank you- I don’t want your germs near me at all.”
168. “Oh, fuck off you piece of shit. You think I care about you? That I give a damn about your feelings? Fuck off.”
169. “Have sex with me.”
170. “Please make me feel alive.”
171. “You’re the only thing that is keeping me on this fucked up world.”
172. “Even on the shittest days, you’re always there to brighten them.”
173. “I love you just the way you are.”
174. “Your stretch marks are like tiger stripes, it makes you look fucking badass.”
175. “Stop asking me if I’m alright. My last answer was ‘no’, why would it change any time soon?”
176. “I will not leave you. No matter how hard it gets or how rough things are, I will always be here. I will not leave you.”
177. “You are such a fucking cliché.”
178. “Stay close to me.”
179. “I can’t do everything!”
180. “You’re art.” “But I’m nothing like your art.”
181. “I think I owe you an apology.”
182. “Have you seen-oh”
183. “Did you do that for me?”
184. “That’s a weird way to say ‘I love you’.”
185. “Are you happy?” “Yes, very.” “Good … that’s good. That makes me happy.”
186. “Sorry to interrupt but you need to move your hands away from him/her before we have a problem.”
187. “When I first met you, I thought nothing of you, now you mean everything to me.”
188. “Please, I can’t live without you.”
189. "Surprise!”
190. “You told me it wasn’t my fault, so why are you blaming me now?”
191. “Shut up!” “Make me.”
192. “I’ll fucking kill him/her.”
193. “Are you jealous?”
194. “Are you flirting with me?”
195. “You know me better than I know myself.”
196. “What do you do when you realise you might not be the good guy?”
197. "Are you so oblivious to the fact that I’m in love with you? Or do you choose to ignore it?”
198. “Every night I’m with you, I just fall more in love.”
199. “The world could be ending right now, but it wouldn’t matter as long as I’m with you.”
200. “I like that you’re broken, like me. Makes me feel like I’m not alone.”
Summary: Based on Breakfast With the Moon by Powfu
Word count: 3,736 (this has to be my favorite thing I’ve ever written!)
Warnings: mentions of drugs, alcohol, spiking a drink, stealing, his abusive father
She wants me, I know it, even tho’ I’m broken. When she looks at me, I see that she’s also hopeless.
You cuddled into JJ’s chest, your fingers lightly tracing cursive letters on his chest in hope’s to calm him down. He showed up at your front door after he had a horrible fight with his father. You could immediately tell from his eyes that he felt broken, but you were right by his side to help him slowly pick himself up piece by piece.
“Y/N?” You looked up at JJ, his index finger tracing your jawline. Without comprehending it, you leaned into his touch. His eyes looked into yours, as if he were reading your thoughts. “You know how important you are to me, right?” You nodded your head, “yeah.” Your voice just above a whisper.
I notice her emotion flowin’ out, her heart is open because she trust me (I think she loves me)
JJ shifted in his spot, forcing you to look at him. “Don’t lie to me y/n/n.” You sighed, already feeling the tear sting your eyes. You were never one to openly talk about your struggles, only knowing people pitied you after you told them. But it was different with JJ, he understood what you were going through.
He wasn’t the kind to apologize, or say how you didn’t deserve to go through that you were going through. He was the kind to give you advice on how to overcome these feelings. The type of person who wouldn’t judge you after admitting things you’ve done. You trusted him with everything in you.
I hold her close with passion, imagining what could happen. She acting like a bandage, she healing all my damage.
You sat on the couch with Kie, talking about how your days went before JJ stormed through the front door. You furrowed your eyebrows at the boy who bantly ignored his friends, marching into his room and slamming the door shut.
Without hesitating, you got up from your spot, excusing yourself before walking in front of his door. You softly knocked, calling his name. When you got no response, you opened the door a crack to see his body face down, shaking as he cried into the bed. You quickly entered and shut the door after you, sitting next to his body.
He scooted forward, resting his head in your lap, hands squeezing your thighs as he cried. Your fingers combed their way through his hair, quietly humming a soft tune to calm him down. “I hate him. I fucking hate him.” He sobbed into your lap, tears dropping onto your skin. “Hey, hey look at me.” You mumbled.
JJ lifted his head up slightly, your heart ached at his red eyes. “You’re almost there sweetie. Once you turn 18 you can move out of there and never have to see him again If you don’t want to. I’ll even help pay for you to move out. It kills me to see the pain he puts you through everyday. You’re almost free, baby. You just have to keep fighting, okay?” Your words eased the hurt in his chest.
You scooted down to be face to face with him. He wrapped his arms around your body, holding you close to him. “I’m right here. You’re safe.” You mumbled against his chest.
Yeah she’s the one I’ve been waiting for to land on my planet. Unlike them other girls she got my back and she won’t stab it.
JJ sat at a table at the wreck, checking the time on his phone every other minute. He had been waiting for his date to show up, only for her to never show. He waited there for 40 minutes before leaving the restaurant.
He showed up at your front door, his hands awkwardly in his pockets due to his embarrassment of being stood up. “Hey!” You welcomed him with a grin, inviting him inside the house. “How’d the date go?” You asked him as he sat himself down on your couch.
“It didn’t.” He pursued his lips together, your eyebrows furrowed together. “She never showed up.” He bit his tongue, hating at the sound of him admitting it. Your mouth dropped open, immediately wanting to fight the girl who stood him up.
You thought for a moment before grabbing your purse and car keys. You held your hand out for him to grab, earning a questioning look from him. “Come on,” you nudge your head, “I’m taking you on a date."
His heart skipped a beat at your words. He quickly held onto your hand as you led him to your car, making sure to open the passengers side door for him. It was times like this where JJ felt blessed to have you in his life.
This is true love, no there’s not a plot twist. Knowing what she’s thinking, yes I’m friends with her conscience
You laid on your bed, curled up in a ball due to your cramps making your body ache with every move you made. Your bedroom door busted open, making you nearly fall off the bed.
JJ marched to your bed with a McDonalds bag and soda in his hand. He sat himself down next to you, pulling a pill bottle from the bag. "I went to get you ibuprofen for your cramps but I figured you would want food as well. I got a 50 pack of mcnuggets with honey mustard sauce and a coke.” You bite your bottom lip as you grinned carefully sitting up. “I love you JJ Maybank.” You exhaled, grabbing everything out of his hands.
You scooted over, patting the spot next to you. JJ sat down with his legs crossed, his hand taking a nugget from the box. You threw your head back, taking the pill to help ease the pain. Resting your head on his shoulder, you shoved a chicken nugget into your mouth. “You always know what I’m thinking, Maybank. You’re the best.”
Clearing out my toxins every time we talkin’. Kiss me in the dark, middle of our movie watching.
“I swear it’s like every time I go home it’s like he puts a 500 pound rock on my chest.” JJ exhaled, rubbing his eyes with his fist. “But that’s why you’re always welcomed here. I hate seeing you this stressed J.” You mumbled into his chest.
You two were hanging out in your room, lights off with Finding Nemo playing in the background. “Everytime I come here it’s like a weight is lifted off my chest. I love talking to you because you understand me. You like, I don’t know, you detox my mind.”
You looked up at him, his eyes trained on yours. As if JJ had the power to read minds, he read yours and began to lean in. Your heartbeat picked up speed as his hand cupped the side of your face. Holding onto his wrist, you guided him towards you, your grip loosening as he kissed you.
You the best thing and everything a friend could be. You got my heart locked up, I could never leave.
You danced in the moonlight with Kie, your body swaying to the music that played near you two. The group decided to throw a Kegger, just because they all wanted to have fun. Kie got pulled away by some touron as a hand tapped your shoulder.
Turning around, you saw there was no one there. Shrugging your shoulders, you turned back around to see a brunette boy, eyeing your body down. “Y/N! Hey, I missed you!” JJ’s familiar voice filled your ears. You turned around and got enveloped in a hug by the blonde. “The guy spiked your drink.” He whispered in your ear.
The hairs on the back of your neck stood up. You turned away from the stranger and walked hand in hand with JJ away from the party. You flung the liquid out of the cup, throwing the cup in the trash. He led you to an isolated, broken tree stump that you two sat on.
“Thank you for warning me.” You mumbled, looking at the moonlight that reflected off the waves. “Of course. You’re my girl, I gotta protect you.”
Staying up late at night when we textin’. My plate’s full, but time with you I’ll keep on spending.
Your eyes snapped open at the sound of your phone going off. Picking it up, your eyes squinted as you grinned to see JJ texted you a tweet he saw.
Clicking the tweet, you nearly laughed as you read it in your mind. ‘Craving a hug is worse than craving sex because you can masturbate but you can’t hug yourself and that’s some real shit lmao.’
'Is that your way of telling me you need a hug?’ You texted him, checking to see the time was 4:31 a.m. He immediately read your message, three dots appearing on your screen. 'Maybe… I have ice cream for you if you do.’ You threw your sheets off of your body, not caring you were wearing an oversized t-shirt and shorts.
'On my way hoe.’ You texted back before sliding on your flip flops and sneaking out your window to your car. Speeding off to JJ’s house, you parked down the block before walking to his backyard.
You knocked on his window before pulling the screen up and crawling in. JJ stood in the center of his room with a wide grin on his face, a tub of ben and Jerry’s in one hand and two spoons in the other.
He put both items down as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He hugged you tightly, lifting you off the floor and spinning you around. You wrapped your legs around his waist as his arms adjusted themselves. He walked over to his bed, sitting against the headboard. You remained in his lap, your legs on both sides of his lap. Your hands entangled themselves in his hair, his hand on the arch of your back.
You were about to pull away before his grip tightened. “Not yet. I don’t wanna let go just yet.” He mumbled.
I hate it when you’re not with me. 'Cause it feels like something’s missing.
You had left the Outer Banks for a trip to visit a college out of state. You knew you weren’t going to a college outside of your home, you just went to please your parents.
You were gone for a week. However to JJ that felt like a whole month and he was aching for you to come back. The entire week he has never felt more stressed. He felt like something big was missing out of his days. He wanted to call you, but he feared he would bother you.
Without telling him you were home, you called his number. It rang 3 times before he picked up. “Y/N! You’re alive!” His voices yelled from the other side of the line. “Yes I’m alive and on my way to your house.”
“Oh-shit!” JJ yelled before you heard a loud thumping sound. “You fell off your bed didn’t you?” You asked him, driving down the streets. His dad’s car was thankfully gone, allowing you to pull in. Quickly exiting your car, you slammed your door shut.
Walking into his house, he nearly tackled you to the floor in a hug. “Wow, hi!” You laughed as he hugged you, rocking your bodies side to side. “That felt like the longest week of my life.”
I'ma show you everything and everything I hide behind. Tell you my whole story, I can take you back to '99.
JJ was currently asleep at your side, your legs intertwined. He asked if he could sleep over after his dad threw a fit after taking drugs.
Your eyes never left his face as you remembered the first time JJ opened up to you about his abusive father. It was one night, 3 years ago. He showed up on your doorstep in the pouring rain, a fresh bruise on his face and a cut lip.
He tried to say he got caught up in a fight with a Kook, but you could tell by the look in his eyes that it wasn’t the truth. You didn’t beg him to tell you, you knew he had his own life and you didn’t want to pry. He loved that about you and knew it was time to tell you everything.
From how his mom left when he was young, then how his father became a drug addict and alcoholic. He brought up the first time he had been beaten, he was only 11 which broke your heart. He told you that acting like he was fine and just got into it with a Kook was easier than explaining about his dad.
Loving you’s a sequence, keeps my heart beating. I'ma keep you warm even if it means I’m freezing.
You and JJ went to the movie theater, celebrating your birthday together. He had managed to sneak you two into the Kook cinema that had working air conditioning and reclining seats.
He took you out to see a new movie, knowing that would make you happy. You told him you were gonna pay for food, but he stopped you before you could go up to the register. “I got it.” Was all he said before taking your hand and leading you to the right room.
He took you to the back row knowing that was your favorite spot. He shifted in his seat, pulling bags of snacks out of the hem of his pants and anywhere else he could hide it. You giggled to yourself quietly, your mouth dropping as he pulled a hoagie out of his pant leg.
“Shut the fuck up.” You whispered, high fiving him as he set out the food. You pulled up the arm rest that sat between you two, scooting closer to him.
His arm immediately found its place around your shoulder, pulling you close as he ate half of the hoagie.
Your body shivered as you pulled JJ closer to you. He looked down at you, “are you cold?” “A little but it’s-” before you could finish your sentence, he was already taking his sweatshirt off and handing it to you. “Aren’t you gonna be cold?” He shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t care. That just means you’ll have to be the one who gives the cuddles.” You laughed quietly, slipping his sweatshirt on before opening your arms towards him.
He leaned down, resting his head on your chest as he laid down. His arms slid around your waist, his eyes fluttering shut as you kissed his forehead.
Used to act reckless, then I met you. We both eatin’ breakfast underneath the moon.
Kiara had told you this story countless times, she would tell you the story of how JJ used to steal from stores, used to sleep with girls all the time, used weed and alcohol as a coping mechanism, but everything stopped as soon as you stepped into the picture.
You didn’t know he was doing those things until he admitted it to you the same night he opened up about his father. He wanted you to know how much of a positive impact you’ve made on him, and he appreciates you so much.
It all changed one night after you and JJ had spent the night at John B’s. JJ was in the kitchen making pancakes at 3 in the morning. You hadn’t gotten any sleep, so you got out of bed and sat yourself down on the counter. “Morning sunshine.” He grinned at you, flipping the pancake in the air to catch it in the pan again. “Morning handsome. What’s with the breakfast foods?” You asked, eyeing the raw batter.
“I got hungry!” He said, pouring yet another spoonful of batter onto the pan. “I mean… are you gonna need help eating those?” You shyly pointed to the stack of pancakes. “I made them just for you.” He winked. He gathered the whip cream from the fridge and the syrup from the cabinet as the final one was cooking. An idea popped into your head. “I’ll be right back!” You called out to him.
You went into the closet and pulled out the old Christmas lights from a box. You grabbed two pillows and a large blanket as well. You walked outside and set up the lights along the trees, turning them on to see the beautiful colored bulbs light up. You put the pillows on one of the hammocks, laying the blanket to the side.
You dragged a wooden table put from one of the corners of the backyard to the front of the hammock where the food could go. You scattered back inside and stopped him before he could go into the backyard. “Stop! Give me the food and stay right here.” He hesitated before passing you everything you needed to complete the surprise.
Placing everything in its spot, you ran back inside, “okay I need you to trust me.” You said before covering his eyes with your hands. You led him out the backyard and right towards the hammock. “And here!” You smiled, uncovering his eyes. He stood there in awe as he looked up to the lights and the cute decorations.
“How did you do this in the span of 3 minutes?” He asked, sitting down in the hammock, passing you a plate stacked with pancakes from the table. “I have my ways.” You winked. JJ looked up from his spot, looking at the full moon that hovered above them. “Here’s to eating breakfast underneath the moon.” He raised his fork that had a chunk of pancake on it. You raised your, clinking the metal. “To eating breakfast underneath the moon.”
People think we crazy from the stupid things we do. I love it when you’re weird, 'cause I know I’m weird too.
You leaned back in your chair at the Wreck, Kie and Pope sitting at your sides, JJ and John be in front of you. “Kie, your father is a blessing.” You complimented her father after he gave the group free food. The restaurant was empty since it was 10 p.m. only leaving the group and Kie’s father. You stood up from your seat, collecting the plates and any garbage from their seats, helping clean up.
JJ got up from his spot, lifting his shirt up past his abs. “I have approximately 5 food babies in my stomach.” Your cheeks flushed pink as you quickly looked away. “Y/N! Come here.” You walked over to him, he watched as you, waiting for you to mimic him. You jokingly rolled your eyes before lifting your shirt up past your stomach. He reached his stomach forward to touch yours. “Our food babies will now become one.” You said, ignoring the weird looks from your friends.
“What?” JJ asked, rolling his shirt back down. “You guys are fucking weird.” Pope laughed. “You’re just jealous you’re not having a food baby with us.” You flipped your hair over your shoulder, placing your hands on JJ’s stomach. “We should get maternity pictures like this.” JJ stood behind you with his hands on your stomach, his fingers forming a heart.
Yeah, that’s just how we live, acting like some kids. Running with the bugs through the grass in the mist.
“Y/N I know we told John B we would go help him with the boat but can we PLEASE stop at this playground. There are no kids and it’s been like 20 years since I’ve been on a playground.” You chuckled at him, “JJ, first off you’re 16, and yeah yeah I’m going!”
You parked in the lot, JJ jumping out of the car before you even stopped. You easily hopped out of the car, JJ grabbing your hand as you ran through the grass. The night before it thunder stormed, and it was 90° that day, causing a light miss to fill the air. You laughed loudly with him, finding your ways to the swingset. You sat on the swing as JJ stood behind and pushed you to get started.
You two had a bet on who could jump farther once you both had reached a high enough swing. “Ready? One, two, three!” You two jumped off the swing at the same time JJ landed just a few inches farther than you. “Ughhhhhh.” You groaned, immediately stopping.
“There’s a ladybug on your chest.” You laughed, pointing to the small red insect. JJ carefully placed his hand near it, watching the delicate bug crawl onto his finger tips. You two watched it crawl on his hand before another one landed on your arm. You held your arm up to JJ’s hand, the lady bugs getting together before flying off his hand. “That was the cutest thing ever.”
Girl I’ll give you everything, that’s my final offer. I can be your knight, protect you from the monsters.
Your eyes snapped open at the sound of a ding coming from your phone. You opened the message to see it was from JJ.
Hi Y/N!!!! I’m not gonna lie, I’m extremely high right now, but I just wanted to get this off my chest because I’ve been wanting to say it FOREVER! I really fucking like you. I’ve liked you since the day I first met you and God, everyday with you is adventure within itself. you are my rock and I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. You have been by my side through so much and given me memories I’ll never forget. I want to call you my girlfriend. I want to be able to show you off and call you my girl. I wanna give you everything I can. I’ll be like, like your knight in shining armor. I’ll protect you from bad guys and I’ll kiss you whenever you want attention. I just want to be with you because I hate it when you’re not with me. it just feels like something’s missing and I hate it. Let me call you mine and I’ll never say goodbye.
You beamed brightly as your eyes skimmed his text. Your thumb hovered over his contact before calling him. “JJ? Hey listen, I’m all yours."
Request: hey! I was wondering if you could do 36, 52, and 96 with Kiara? Like her house got broken into or sm and she comes to you all shaken up? thank u!
(Not my gif! Credit to the owner!)
Summary: Kie arrives at your house, shaken up and wounded. You take care of her, letting her know she’s gonna be okay.
Word count: 775
Warnings: blood, burglary, and mentions of a knife.
Prompts:
36. “Hey–I accidentally cut my hand, I think I need to go to the hospital. Can you drive me? … Why are you looking at me like that? There’s not even that much blood!”
52. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”
96. “Here, take my blanket.”
You jumped off of the sofa when someone began pounding their fist repeatedly on the front door. You checked through the peephole to see Kiara.
You let her in and she immediately slammed the door shut. "Hey Kie.” You welcomed her, noticing how she was holding her left wrist, your eyes switching to drops of blood falling on the floor. “Kie?” You whispered. She furrowed her eyebrows at you, “hmm?” You pointed to her bloody hand and she nervously laughed. You grabbed a blanket and threw it over her wound, applying pressure. “Here, take my blanket."
"Oh right funny story. I accidentally cut my hand, I think I need to go to the hospital. Can you drive me- why are you looking at me like that? There’s not even that much blood!” Kiara mumbled, clearly in shock, her laugh faltering. Your eyes glazed over at the amount of pain and fear written in her eyes.
“Kie you’re soaking through the fucking blanket! Go get in the car I’m coming.” You gave her your keys as you grabbed medical tape and gauze. On the way to the hospital you were rambling and so was Kiara about how it happened. You made Kie wrap her hand up in gauze as you drove.
“So funny story actually so some guys tried to break into my house and I was holding a knife panicking in the bathroom and I called the cops and they said just get out of the house and run for safety so I jumped out the second story bathroom window and I totally forgot to let go of the knife and I landed weird slicing my palm open and as I was running I was like okay who can I go to and then I realized you feel like my safe haven and I immediately ran over to your house. So anyway how was your day Y/n?" She spoke one sentence, not breathing until she finished.
You held onto her non injured hand. "It’s okay Kie, we’re almost there.” You sighed, mentally thanking God that it was only her hand that got injured.
You pulled into the hospital parking lot and made your way through the doors. You ran, dragging Kie in by her non injured hand into the lobby. “My friend cut herself badly and she needs stitches.”
~Minutes of filling out paperwork and stuff pass by~
Kiara was called in, asking if you could come with her. She was sitting down in a chair, her arm on an armrest. The doctor began to disinfect her wound, “this is gonna hurt.” He spoke as he began to wash her cut with soap and water, dunking a cotton ball into the mixture.
She flinched as soon as the water fell into it. Kie squeezed your hand as pain ran throughout her body. “It’s okay Kie, you’re almost done.” Once the doctor finished with cleaning it, he began to stitch it up. Kiara was rarely one to cry in instances like this, but it hurt more than she could take.
You swiped away tears that escaped her eyes, pressing a comforting kiss to the side of her head. After a few minutes, Kie’s hand was stitched up and in a brace. She paid the bill and left the hospital. You drove by her house to see police cars lined up, men you could assume were the burglars being stuffed into the back of the police cars.
“Can I stay the night with you?” She mumbled.
“No need to ask Kie, of course you can.” You placed your hand on her knee, Kie’s hand immediately holding in with hers. The ride back was awfully quiet, you didn’t know what to say and she was still in shock. Mostly annoyed with herself that she got himself injured, that she didn’t protect her house. It was a moment of panic.
You pulled up in your driveway, turning off the engine and slumped back into the seat. “Come on hun, you need some sleep.” Opening the front door, you kicked your shoes off and led her to your bedroom. Kiara changed out of her clothes, you gave her an extra pair of Pjs she leaves at your house.
Kiara laid on her side as she snuggled into your bed, carefully resting her injured hand on the pillow. You laid down next to her, her fingers accidentally touching her arm As your fingers made contact with her skin, she subtly flinched. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”
Kie relaxed, nestling herself in between your arms, pressing a kiss to your cheek as a thank you. “Goodnight Kie."
Summary: you and JJ meet once again after a harsh break up.
Word count: 1,982
Warnings: cheating, angst underage drinking, implied sex at the end. I do NOT condone the action of going back to someone who cheated.
You sat alone in a booth at a local restaurant, diagonal from where your friend Nicole sat with an unfamiliar boy. You had offered to ‘be a look out’ for the girl when she brought up how her friends had helped her get a blind date. Nicole had the fear that she might embarrass herself or something might go south, so you decided to lend a helping hand to calm her down.
You subtly flicked your eyes up and down from the menu to your friend as a waitress came up to you. “What can I get you hun?"
"Just a vanilla milkshake and fries please.” The lady nodded and took the menu from your hands. You reached inside of your bag and pulled out your notebook. Finding a pen, you began to mindlessly draw little doodles of whatever came to mind.
You were actually enjoying the peace and quiet until the front door bell chimed. Before you could react, JJ Maybank took the spot right across from you. “Can I help you?” You scoffed, closing the notebook.
“Nope. I’m helping my friend out and it looks like you happen to be doing the same thing for your friend too.” JJ said, looking behind his shoulder to see his friend give him a thumbs up. You rolled her eyes, defensively crossing your arms.
“Okay, well how about you move to the other booth where you can 'help’ by yourself.” JJ dramatically put his hand to his heart, “does Y/F/N Y/L/N not want to spend time with me?” “The last time I was near you it didn’t end well.” You hissed. JJ immediately got quiet as the waitress came up to deliver your order.
“Oh! Would you like anything dear? On the house for the couple!” The waitress smiled, “oh no we’re not-” “actually I would love a hamburger and a chocolate milkshake please!” JJ grinned. “Coming right up."
"Seriously JJ why can’t you just sit somewhere else?” You asked as you dipped a fry into the milkshake. JJ furrowed his eyebrows as he watched you take a bite. “What? It’s good.” You defended.
“See I could, but Steve made me promise to help him out. And now I get to talk to you which is exactly what I want to be doing on my Friday night.” Sarcasm dropped from his voice as you bite your tongue.
“Well you can leave. You never were good at keeping promises anyway.” You seethed, taking the cherry out of the milkshake and popping into your mouth. JJ became quiet once more as the sudden flashback hit him.
Flashback:
2 years. 2 years was all it took for something so positive and bright, to turn into something dead. 2 years was all it took for JJ Maybank to own, and then break your heart.
You two had been dating for a full two years, both of you guys admitting you were in love. Making promises that you two couldn’t keep. One of them being, 'I’ll always love you.'
JJ broke that the minute his lips touched some tourons at an end of the year school party. You had lost sight of your boyfriend in the middle of the party after telling him you were going to the bathroom. It took you 10 minutes to find him with the unknown girl.
“Have you seen- oh.” Your words slipped your mind as you saw a boy and girl break away from a kiss. Only to reveal that face that made your heart break. “I better… I better g-go.” You stumbled over your words, your legs moving as fast as they could out of that house and far away from JJ.
You didn’t know what to do, what to think, how to act, what to say, everything just became numb. Like someone had just ripped your heart from your chest, and dangled it in front of your face as if it were mocking you. So you just ran, and ran all the way to your house. Dried tears stained your face as you were panting, on the verge of passing out.
Your mind felt fuzzy, as if it were an old TV and an antenna was knocked loose, like all you heard was static and a ringing. You shook your head frantically as you paced in the living room. A rapid knock echoed in the silent room as you let out a sob. You slowly walked to the door, your hand shaking as it hesitantly reached out.
You twisted the handle and pulled the door open to reveal a frantic JJ. “Y/N please let me-” “Don’t even fucking start JJ.” You said, cautiously backing away from the door. JJ walked into the house as he tried to grab hold of your wrists.
You pulled your wrists back from JJ’s grip as you began to have trouble breathing. “You fucking kissed some random girl. Who knows what the fuck would’ve happened if I didn’t walk into that room.” You mumbled to yourself as your head began to ache.
“Y/N you know I wouldn’t do that!” “When you’re in a relationship you don’t fucking kiss somebody else! I didn’t think you’d do that yet here we are!” You raised your voice as you paced again.
“Open your fucking eyes, it’s so obvious I’m in love with you!” JJ yelled back, causing you to flinch, his breath smelled of alcohol. Your eyes suddenly fell to the ground, afraid to look at him without breaking down.
“You need to leave,” your voice wavered, “you need to leave and not come back. You can’t look at me. You can’t speak my name. You can’t have anything to do with me, Maybank. We’re fucking done.” You breathed out, feeling as though you had a boulder crushing your body.
“Y/N. I made you a promise that I’d love you, please let me keep going with that promise.” JJ begged, his eyes burning harshly with tears. “You broke your promise, you can’t come back from that.”
JJ let out a sigh as his head slumped down, forcing his legs to walk out the front door, and out of your life.
Memory over.
“Look, this isn’t a guilt trip: I just genuinely want to know if you dislike me so I can stop bothering you.” JJ said, fidgeting with his fingers. You sighed as you swirled the straw around the milkshake. “I don’t dislike you as a human, I fucking despise what you did to me.” You admitted.
“I’ve changed Y/N. I haven’t been with any other girl, I haven’t spoken with that other girl since then. Please just give me a break. I’ve been busy trying so fucking hard. I’m doing the best I can. Please, please don’t ask more of me.” JJ frowned, his leg now anxiously tapping.
You let out a scoff, but you couldn’t lie to yourself. You missed being with JJ, you missed him so damn much, but you didn’t want to admit it. Your eyes flickered to your friend who was standing up and giving Steve a kiss on the cheek.
Their date was over, but you and JJ sat firmly in the booth. “Let me just drive you home like the good days, just hear me out.” JJ begged. You cracked your knuckles, a habit you gained after the break up. “Fine. But so help me Maybank if you fuck it up you will never, I repeat ever come speak to me again.” JJ let out a breath of relief and thanked you.
You couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit of luck when he offered, glad that you chose to walk to the diner. You two sat in silence for a bit of the ride before JJ turned on the radio. 'Wonderwall’ by Oasis played through the sound system, memories of this song hitting you in the face like a brick.
JJ began to obnoxiously shout the lyrics like he would when you guys went on drives together. He would roll the windows down, blast the volume and just let it all out. At first you were annoyed with the boy, but as soon as he nudged you with his elbow you began shouting the lyrics as well. At that moment, things felt normal. Like nothing bad happened between them, and that scared you shitless.
When the song ended, JJ turned down the volume and began to speak, “you know, I never took your school photo out of my wallet. It’s still there. And every night after… we broke up, I would just look at it and cry. Because I drank and I ended up losing the best thing I ever got in life. And believe me I know drinking is no excuse for what I did. I lost the one person that understood me more than my other friends, than myself. And I fucked it all up. And I know I can’t take back what I did. Saying sorry won’t change the hurt I made you feel. But I want you to know I’m truly trying my best to be a different person than who I was before.” His voice was shaking as he found it hard to look at the road.
“I can try to forgive you Maybank, but that night has been burned into my memory. And it’s gonna take a lot of time before I can forget it.” You mumbled, looking out the window watching the trees zoom by.
“I’d wait 100 years if it meant that you would talk to me again.” JJ muttered as he pulled into your driveway. “Do you.. want to come in? And like, catch up?” You wanted to punch yourself in the face for your offer, but again you couldn’t deny how much you missed him.
JJ was shocked at your words, his mouth slightly open as he nodded his head. You walked into your house and to your luck, nobody was home.
You guys sat in your room, silence filling the air once again. You walked over to a picture frame on the desk and picked it up. The picture was of JJ after he had fallen asleep with his head in your llap. “Remember this night?” You asked as he looked over your shoulder.
“Yeah. I came over to make cupcakes for John B’s birthday but we ended up just throwing flour and eggs at each other.” JJ laughed loudly, remembering how he would find flour in his hair and ears for days after. “Then we sat on the couch and you laid your head in my lap. I played with your hair until you fell asleep and you snored so loud.” You smiled at the memory.
“God I fucked up.” He whispered. “Yeah. Yeah you did. When you sat across from me in the booth I wanted to flip my shit. I wanted to go off on you and say something like, 'oh fuck off you piece of shit. You think I care about you? That I give a damn about your feelings? Fuck off.’ I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me.” You confessed.
“Damn Y/N. I- I don’t even know what to say.” JJ said as you faced him. You couldn’t help but stare at his lips, the lips you craved so desperately. You hated yourself for this. You hated yourself for making this move, but you leaned in anyway and kissed him. You were taken back at your actions, but your knees nearly buckled at his touch.
JJ gently held the side of your face as he pulled back. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He said, his words echoing in your head. “I’m desperate. And I’m pretty sure you are too. This is a one time thing until you gain my trust back. But for now, just shut up and have sex with me.”
Summary: Friends with benefits; Two friends who trust each other enough to engage in sexual activity without fear of hurting the other’s feelings.
Word count: 1,912
Warnings: Mentions fwb, sex, and underage drinking.
You rested on your stomach, textbook in front of you as John B joined your side. You two had been chosen to be partners for a Chemistry class project, but neither of you two had actually paid enough attention to figure out what you two we’re doing.
You guys sat in silence for a minute before you exhaled loudly. “What’s with the sigh?” You ground loudly, flipping yourself over and laying on your back.
“It’s my senior year. I should be out in the world not giving a single fuck about anything, but I’m stressed out of my mind and I have no clue how to get rid of it.” You ranted, grabbing the nearest pillow and screaming into it. John B looked at you with a confused look. “What? I’m a screamer. Not sexually, just at life in general.” “I can make that sexually.” He said, earning a smack from the pillow.
“Therapy?” “Tried.” “Painting?” “Tried.” “Going to the gym?” “Ha! You’re fucking funny.” John B remained quiet for a second before coming up with something. “Have you tried just hooking up with someone? You know, like a friends with benefits type thing."
Your head snapped up from it’s spot as you stared at the boy with a dumbfounded look. "I’m sorry?” “Well it’s just, if you need to release tension, shit like that helps a lot.” John B said as he suddenly felt idiotic for bringing the idea up. You sat there for a moment, trying to process his words. “Okay but even if I wanted to I don’t know who would even want to."
John B’s index finger pointed to his face as you observed his gesture. "Really?and why would you want to be friends with benefits?” “I get stressed too, I help you out, you help me out.” You considered his offer for a moment before agreeing on his idea.
“Okay. But we have to make a guideline.” You negotiated, ripping out a piece of paper from the notebook. Now it was John B’s turn to roll his eyes.
“First rule, we do not tell a single soul about this.” You said, grabbing your pen and scribbling the words down. “Okay, okay. Second rule, we call each other whenever we need a release. Whenever and wherever.” “No hooking up with anyone else unless either of us get
a boyfriend/girlfriend.” He thought aloud.
You nodded your head, writing his words down quickly. “And the last one,” you two looked at each other as you spoke in unison, “no feelings.” You held the pen out towards him, giving you a questioning look. “What? We gotta make this shit official."
John B let out a chuckle as he took the pen from your hand and scribbled his name. Returning the pen to you, he adjusted himself so he was resting against the headboard. You quickly signed it, closing the notebook shut.
John B sighed softly before looking at youm "You stressed?” You quickly rose up from your spot, your legs resting on both sides of him as you straddled his lap. “You have no idea.” His hands trailed up your back, one hand staying on your thigh and gently rubbing it. The other was wrapped tightly around your waist.
Your lips met halfway, he sighed in relief at the feeling of someone else’s lips. The kiss was fierce and rushed, both of you wasting no time in getting your stress out.
_________________
You guys had this ‘relationship’ going for the last 5 months. Almost every other day you called each other. It was an odd thing for you to do. You had done it before in the past, but sex with John B was something else. There were nights where the type would change, he would take control for most of the time. Angry sex, sex in the living room, car sex, anything he wanted to do, you two did.
However, as time went on the feelings John B had began to change. He wanted to spend more time with you, and not just hook up. He wanted to find out more things about you, watch movies with you, be able to kiss you in public whenever he wanted. The at first sloppy sex slowly morphed into passionate sex. He noticed and it scared him shitless. He loved every moment he spent with you and he didn’t want that to change.
He was mad at himself. That was the third rule and he broke it. He never expected it to happen, but when it did it slapped him right across the face.
You two were lying there naked, sheets covering your bare chests. You were fast asleep, your body facing him. He took in the tiny details about you, everything that he could. How sometimes your eyelashes flutter. How you’ll snore sometimes. How he rests his hand on your cheek and you unknowingly lean into his touch. He buried this hole too deep and he can’t get out.
You both were currently at your friend Angela’s party, drunk teens were horribly dancing in the living room, couples were hooking up in the bedrooms and bathrooms. John B was drinking a shot of vodka as he saw you walk by, a red plastic solo cup in your hand. “Hey Routledge!” You winked at the boy who shyly drank from his cup.
A classmate of his walked up to John B, “Hey, what’s with you and that Y/L/N chick?” The boy asked, nudging John B’s shoulders. He smirked at his classmate leaning closer to him, “we’re friends with benefits!” John B exclaimed, clearly tipsy and not knowing the words that are spilling out of his mouth.
The classmate smirked at the intoxicated teen, giving JB a high five, congratulating him. You were out in the backyard enjoying the night sky with Sarah Cameron.you two were laughing after watching someone run and fall into the pool.
The fun was quickly ruined as the classmate stood in front of you guys. “So Y/N, I heard you help release stress from my good old friend John B. How about you help me out?” Your face dropped in shock, the cup falling from your hand. “I’m sorry?” You asked, pretending not to understand what he was talking about.
“Oh yeah. But real shit, whenever I need something I’ll give you a call.” The boy sent you a wink before licking his lower lip and walking away. You stared at the ground in shock. “Are you okay?” “I don’t know how to answer that.” You admitted.
You stomped out of the backyard and out of the house. Stares, comments and giggles were all you noticed as you made your way through the crowded rooms. Making way to your car, you opened the door and slammed it shut. Your fists pounded down onto the steering wheel, accidentally punching the horn. You crossed your arms and leaned against the wheel. Your head fell against your arms as tears stung your eyes. You were furious at John B, but you were also angry with yourself.
During the time you had been sleeping with John B, you also began to realize how your heart would race a mile a minute with him, even before the physical contact. You had been trying to deny the feelings, 'it’s just sex’ you repeated to yourself over and over after every session. But to you it was something else, and that scared you.
You sped down down the road, the lights blurring from the tears, your cheeks and nose a shade of pink. Your breathing was uneven as you hicupped every now and then. Returning home, you quickly changed out of your clothes into pajamas and laid in bed. That night was the last time you and John B had an interaction for a whole month.
He would call you, but you’d let the answering machine pick up. You’d swerve him when you walked by him in the halls, catching his eye then turning around to walk the other way.
You wanted to distance yourself as much as you could. John B tried his best to apologize after his classmate reminded him that he told your secret that night at the party. He felt absolutely destroyed hearing the rumors that were spreading about you, about you both, he hated it.
Your eyes were sealed shut as you attempted to let sleep overtake your body. It was finally Friday and you just wanted to sleep for 12 hours. The sound of rain hitting your window sounded like heaven to your ears, just pure silence except for that one noise.
A soft tapping sound echoed off the window. Knowing it wasn’t rain, you hesitantly opened your eyes to see John Booker Routledge holding himself as he stood in your backyard, in the pouring rain. His hair was plastered down onto his face. His clothes clung to his body. His eyes were squinted shut in hopes to not get too much water in them.
You quickly got up and pulled him through the window harshly, making him fall to the ground. His skin made a loud slapping noise as he made contact with the hardwood floor. You sighed, rubbing your forehead with the palm of your hand. “Hold on.” You quickly went out of the room and walked back in with a towel. You handed it to him as you sat on the bad, John B standing there as he attempted to dry off.
“Look this isn’t a guilt-trip. I just genuinely want to know if you dislike me so I can stop bothering you.” He started, the towel running through his hair, drops of water flying everywhere. You sighed loudly and pitched the bridge of your nose. “I don’t hate or dislike you. I hate that you spilled what we were to what’s his face at the party. Do you know how many phone calls I’ve gotten of guys asking me to hook up with them? 24."
"What we were?” John B asked softly. “You broke your promise, you can’t come back from that.” You huffed, your eyes not leaving the floor. “It was just a fling.” He lied, not only to you but to himself. “Not to me it wasn’t.” Your voice was just above a whisper.
“What?"
"Throughout the last few months things felt different. It was really fucking weird to think about, but my heart would always just… race when we spent time together. I wanted things to just be more than a fling. But I figured you just wanted it to be just that thing since you came up with the idea.” you admitted. He lightly chuckled as he bent down to be face to face with you.
“Princess. I walked here to you in the rain. This is how much I love you. This,” he pointed his finger between you two, “I want more than a fling. I want to be able to just walk around with you on my arm and just give you all the fucking affection I can give. And I’m sorry about the calls. I’ll make sure people get the notice to-” you cut him off by quickly pressing your lips against his.
He exhaled loudly, your skin suddenly felt as if it were burning. “God I missed you.” He mumbled against your lips as his thumb stroked your cheek. “Show me how much you missed me.” You whispered, pulling the boy onto the bed.
Summary: Based on The Book of You & I by Alec Benjamin
The Book of You & I- Rafe Cameron x fem reader
Summary: Based on
Word count: 2,900
Warnings: Angst, brief nudity mentioned, is kissing a warning?? all together sadness
Disclaimer: The female pronouns have been changed to male since this will be from a girls pov
Flashback in italics
Well, it all began in the back of his car
I was just sixteen, but I fell so hard
You and Rafe Cameron sat in the trunk of his jeep. Rafe had asked you on a date a few days before this, quickly realizing he was falling for you hard and fast.
He drove you two up to the look-out hill, which gave you a beautiful view of the Outer Banks. He decorated the trunk with pillows and small fairy lights, playing music in the background. You were resting your head on his chest, feeling at peace as you listened to his calm heart beat.
It was when he kissed your forehead did you realize you were falling for him just as hard. Every moment you spent with him then you fell harder and harder. He never failed to make you smile and feel loved when you needed it most which you greatly appreciated.
Well, the years went by and he held my heart, but his love ran dry and we fell apart
You and Rafe had been dating for 3 years now. 3 years of going on dates, surprising each other with gifts, going to parties together, mind blowing sex, spending nights together. You thought everything was going beautifully.
However, as time went by everytime you tried to hang out with your boyfriend, he said he was always busy, coming up with excuses on why he couldn’t go out when in reality he was partying with his friends and snorting coke.
I felt him growing distant, I knew his love was shifting
“Why are you constantly up my ass what the fuck is that about lately?!” Rafe screamed in your face. You two were in the middle of an argument after you asked him why he hasn’t been around lately. He snapped at you as soon as you asked.
“Why are you yelling at me?” You raised your voice back, genuinely confused as to why he was acting so hostile towards you. “Because I’m not happy in our relationship anymore!” He screamed, red in the face. Your mouth fell open at his confession, a strong tension filling the room. Your eyes stung with tears, furrowing your eyebrows at him.
“What?” Your voice was barely audible as he kept his stare at the floor, rubbing his hands through his hair.
“I’m not happy anymore. I just- I don’t know I’m not… in love with you anymore.” A sob escaped your lips as you took in his words. You didn’t say anything else to him as you walked out of his bedroom, slamming his door shut. You attempted to collect yourself at least until you were back in your car.
Accidentally bumping into Sarah, your head hung low as you apologized. “Y/N, you okay?” Your eyes met Sarah who softly gasped at your red eyes. Quickly shaking your head, you left the Cameron household, and entered your car. Your fingers gripped your steering wheel until your knuckles turned white.
You inhaled sharply, wiping the tears out of your eyes you sped out of the driveway, your grip never ending up on the wheel.
And all that I could say was, don’t tell me that it’s over, the book of you and I. Now you’ve scribbled out my name and you’ve erased my favorite lines
You cried into your pillows for days on end, avoiding your friends calls and texts, not going to the dinner table to eat with your family, not leaving your bed in general. You sent countless nights, playing back memories in your head of the two of you. You questioned yourself so many times, wondering what you did wrong that made him fall out of love with you.
For the first time in a week you checked your social media. Your thumb hovered over Rafe’s instagram account. Before you could stop yourself you scrolled through his posts, your grip tightening on your phone you saw all of his posts with you were deleted. Biting your tongue, you didn’t hesitate to archive the pictures of you two on your account. Throwing your phone on the end of the bed, you sniffled before clutching onto your pillow.
There were so many chapters that we never got to write, like cereal for dinner and staying up all night.
For your 1 year anniversary, Rafe had bought you tickets to see your favorite band, getting you front row seats. You were forever grateful that Rafe had done that for you, even when you told him he didn’t have to do anything so big.
You and Rafe stood side by side, his arm around your shoulder, your hand resting on his chest. Chills were sent down your spine as the crowd screamed and cheered as the band appeared on stage. Rafe shifted you so you were in front of him, your back against his chest.
You shut your eyes in happiness, listening to the crowd sing along to the lyrics. Letting the feeling of euphoria take over your body, you rested your head on his shoulder, holding his hands in place on your waist.
The concert lasted almost 2 hours, making it 3 a.m. when you two returned back to his house. As soon as the both entered your house, Rafe threw himself on your couch, his body exhausted from all the adrenaline. You giggled at your boyfriend, entering the kitchen to make bowls of cereal. Pouring Fruit loops into two bowls, you added the milk and grabbed two spoons.
Plopping yourself next to Rafe’s head, you shook the cereal box, his head snapping up to look at which one you grabbed. A dorky grin appeared on his face, sitting up and tucking his legs underneath. “You know what to do.” You handed him the remote. He shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth before turning the TV onto Spongebob.
I remember where we started, I remember how you looked
Before Rafe asked you on your first date, he asked you to senior prom. He knew you were a sucker for surprises so he gathered his friends to help lead you to the outside bus dock. There Rafe stood with a glass jar in his hands. You walked up to him and read the sign, ‘be a smartie and take this dum dum to prom!’ In the glass vase was the smarties candies on the bottom, and dum dumb lollipops on top.
Not being able to hold back your smile, you happily said yes to him, earning cheers and whoops from everyone around you.
Once prom actually came around, you never forgot what he looked like. He showed up at your door in a light blue tux, a corsage the color of your dress in his hands. You could easily tell he was nervous, but as soon as he saw you all of his nerves left. “You look… stunning.” He exhaled, truly at a loss for words.
“Thank you! You clean up well.” You joked, your hand skimming across the hems of his tux. His hand delicately cupped the side of your waist. “You truly do look like a princess.”
But now I’m missing bits and pieces from the pages that you took. You didn’t give a reason, I’ll forever wonder why, we never got to finish the book of you and I.
You snuggled into your blankets, letting out a loud sigh. A soft knock echoed from the outside of your door. “Go away mom.” You called out, only to hear another knock and the door opening. You flipped around to see Sarah Cameron standing at the foot of your bed with a box of pizza and plate of cookies.
After you thought you were out of tears, more tears swelled in your eyes at the sight of her. She joined next to you in your bed, holding you in her arms as you sobbed into her chest. Resting her chin on the top of your head, Sarah held you, her heartbreaking to hear your distressed sobs. “Shhh. It’s okay, I got you.” She mumbled.
“He never told me why,” you started as you pulled away from her, wiping your tears on your blankets. “I don’t know what I did wrong.” You mumbled, picking at your fingernails. “Y/N, you did nothing wrong. Rafe is just an asshole, and I am so, so sorry for everything he’s put you through recently."
Sarah slid the box of pizza towards you, a small smile on your face you took a slice and nibbled on the end. "Before I hug you more, I need you to take a shower.” Sarah admitted before grabbing a slice for herself. You immediately dropped the pizza, apologizing before running into the bathroom.
Well, I bought a pen and I turned the page. Then I wrote about how I wish you’d stayed. I said all the things that I never got to say. Maybe when it’s done, I will feel okay.
You sat at your desk, you thumb anxiously clicking the top of the pen. Your mom had bought you a journal to write down everything that you had going on in your mind. She said it would help you at least organize some thoughts instead of having them jumbled together in your head.
You sighed loudly before writing a letter that you knew you’d never send.
Dear Rafe,
God, I never thought I’d be writing this letter. I never thought we would break up. I never expected you to fall out of love with me. Everything just feels… out of place. You were my safe zone, out of everything that was changing in my life you constantly stayed by my side through everything and I loved that about you. I wish you were still with me. I don’t know why after everything you’ve done to me recently, but I miss your touch. I miss the smell of your cologne. I miss your cute nicknames for me. I miss watching Disney movies with you. I miss staying up with you. I miss all of you. I never told you this, but I always pictured us getting married. I pictured you proposing to me after like our 5 year anniversary. We would have two kids, you would get to pick where we’d live. I’d get to change my name to Y/N Cameron. My bed feels empty without you. You were my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first time, my first love, and as much as this hurts now, I am forever grateful you taught me how to love. I love you Rafe Cameron. No matter what.
Love,
Y/N
That he had grown so distant and that his love had shifted. I wish he felt the same.
Sarah finally convinced you to go to the beach with her due to you staying inside for nearly 3 months. You were about to meet Sarah’s boyfriend and his friends for the first time. At first Sarah told you that she could cancel on John B, but you refused and insisted on meeting everyone.
You sat next to her on your towel, letting the sun hit your skin. You couldn’t help but softly grin at the warm feeling. “Guys! Over here!” Sarah called out. A group of teens walked over to you two, welcoming smiles on everyone’s faces. “Guys, this is Y/N. Y/N this is JJ, Kiara, Pope, and my boyfriend John B."
You stood up from your spot and welcomed Sarah’s friends with a smile. Kiara on the other hand pulled you into a tight hug. You let out a surprised laugh, hugging the girl back. Sarah had explained to them that you had just had a rough break up and to stay away from the topic.
"You give really good hugs.” You admitted, releasing the girl.
The day was going beautifully, everyone was swimming or surfing. You finally felt relaxed, like everything is okay. “Hey! Y/N look at this!” John B randomly shouted. Your head snapped towards him, looking at the shell he had in his hands. You observed it before a familiar voice echoed from further down the beach. Your hands dug into the sand, John B looking down at you with pity in his eyes.
“It’s him isn’t it?” He softly nodded his head. You squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath. JJ appeared by your side, “you want me to teach you how to surf?” Your heart felt warm at his offer. Nodding your head, you followed JJ into the ocean, your eyes not daring to look at Rafe.
Don’t tell me that it’s over, the book of you and I. Now you’ve scribbled out my name and you’ve erased my favorite lines.
After a long day of JJ teaching you how to surf, everybody agreed to get dinner at The Wreck. You jumped out of John B’s van, holding the front door to the restaurant open for your friends. You stepped foot into the dining room, only to pause in your steps.
You didn’t care that you saw Rafe, you cared that you saw some girl under his arm. Your friends saw the color leave your face, all of them shoving back out the front door. You inhaled and exhaled harshly to prevent yourself from crying. “Hey. hey, come here.” Sarah comforted you in her arms, trying your best to maintain your composure. You quickly stepped away from her, “no, no it’s okay. I’m okay,” you lied, shaking your hands out, “I think I just need to go home."
Kiara nodded her head, "I’ll take you home if you want.” You shook your head, “no it’s okay. I’m just gonna walk home.” Sarah’s eyebrows raised up. “Y/N that’s like an 8 mile walk.” You shrugged your shoulders. “I just want to be alone and walking is good. I’ll text you when I get home, okay?” Everyone gave you a hug before watching you walk away from them.
The moment you had your back turned on them, you broke down. How could he have moved on so quickly? Was she just a fling or a new relationship? So many questions in your mind, you knew could not be answered.
There were so many chapters that we never got to write, like cereal for dinner and staying up all night.
Rafe gently nudged your body, “psst. Baby, are you awake?” He whispered. You flipped around and faced him. “I haven’t been able to sleep at all.” You said, your hand immediately finding its place on the side of his face. “Wanna go skinny dipping?” He suggested. You jumped out of his bed as soon as he finished his sentence. He knew you had always wanted to try that, and since his parents were renovating a house that was 6 hours away staying a hotel, he knew this was a perfect time to do it.
You raced him down the stairwell and into his backyard. Quickly stripping, you were left in nothing. You jumped into the water, thankful that the pool lights were off. Rafe jumped in, joining you. You leaned your head back, letting the water sweep through your hair.
Rafe swam up to you, his hands finding your butt as you wrapped your legs around his waist. “I don’t know why we didn’t do this sooner.” You joked, pressing your chest against his. He swiped a stray piece of wet hair away from your eyes, his thumb shifting down to your lips. “Because we both know where this would lead.” His thumb skimmed across your bottom lip, allowing you to open your mouth to kiss it.
I remember where we started, I remember how you looked, but now I’m missing bits and pieces from the pages that you took. You never gave a reason, I’ll forever wonder why, we never got to finish the book of you and I. Don’t tell me, tell me that you’re leaving me. My belly hurts and my heart is hardly beating right, I hate to beg, but I’ll try one last time.
Dear Rafe,
It’s been exactly one year since we broke up. I became friends with some Pogues. I know you’d flip on me if I told you that and we were still together, but they’re treating me better than you have towards the end of our relationship. I’m not gonna lie, I still miss you sometimes, most of the time actually. I’m still confused on why things ended the way they did. You’ve avoided me the entire time, leaving me without a clue and I hate it. I picked at every flaw about myself, trying to figure out if that’s why you left. Do you know how mentally draining that is? God, it fucking sucks. I stopped crying over you though. Yeah it hurts my heart when I see you, but I think I wasted all my tears on you. I really don’t know why I’m even writing to you anymore, I feel like I told you everything I needed to. I used to beg every day and pray every single night to get you back, and it hasn’t happened. But I get it now. You finished our story before I got the chance to finish it myself, and that’s just how love works sometimes. I’ll never forget you Rafe Cameron, but I’ll also never forgive you.
Summary: AU where your world is in black and white until you meet your soulmate, then everything turns into color.
Word count: 1,317
Warnings: none
Y/A: your age
Y/N: Your name
Soulmates. Everyone had one, couples pranced around you living in color while you were stuck in your own black and white world. You envied the people who would go out and watch the sunset or rise. You envied the people who went to art galleries and saw true color. You were hurt that you had spent Y/A years on this earth and have not found your soulmate yet.
John B Routledge was just like you; he was resentful of his peers who had found their love. He nearly lost his mind when JJ and Kiara saw colors once they had met. He just wanted to find the one to take to a flower garden, or take a trip outside of the Outer Banks. But he too was stuck in his own world of jet black colors and bland greys.
______________________
Another day, another shift of working at the ice cream parlor at The Cut. Working in a shop full of colors you couldn’t see was a pain in the ass, but you forced yourself to memorize the location of each of the ice cream tubs.
“Can I help you?” You called out to the boy who was eyeing the tubs, squinting. The boy jumped at your voice, taking him out of his trance. “Yeah. Yeah sorry I’m just… frustrated.” He exhaled, raking his hand through his hair.
“You can’t see color either can you?” You asked, propping yourself against the cooler. He shook his head in response, “welcome to the club, the name’s Y/N.” You offered you a soft smile as you told him your name. “JJ Maybank.”
"If it makes it easier for you I can let you try a sample of something. I also know where everything is by memory if you know the flavors you want.“ JJ was very thankful that you were so understanding, many places haven’t been so kind.
"I’m ordering for all my friends. But uh I need a small cookie dough, medium brownie cake batter, small mint chocolate chip, and a large sherbert please.” JJ looked up and counted on his fingers as he recalled the orders his friends wanted.
He paid as you scooped the ice cream into bowls, softly singing along to the music that played off the store’s speakers. After you finished the bowls you put them in a paper bag for him to carry. You two stood aside chatting about how you moved here a few months ago, his life, and just life in general. A trio of teens walked into the parlor, one of them jumping onto JJ’s back, nearly knocking him to the ground.
You covered your smile with your hand, chuckling at JJ’s groans. “What’s taking you so long, Maybank?” The girl asked.
“I got distracted talking to Y/N okay? You know I get distracted by pretty girls.” You jokingly rolled your eyes, only imagining how many times he has used that on a girl.
“Y/N this is Kiara, Pope, and John B.” He pointed out to his friends as he introduced them. As soon as you made eye contact with John B, both of you dropped to the ground, a sharp pain in your heads. It only lasted about 20 seconds, JJ ran to the other side of the counter to help you up, Pope and Kiara helping John B.
Your shut eyes slowly opened, looking at John B who was already looking at you. Your eyes met his brown ones; brown! You started to see color, you slowly took in every little thing near you. You dropped your ice cream scooper in shock as your eyes began watering, you stepped closer to John B as he stared at you in awe, taking in everything about you. He could see in color; he took in the color of your hair, your eyes, your skin, even your clothes.
You two were in complete shock, mouths gaped. His friends smiled to themselves as they grabbed their bag of ice cream before sneaking out of the store, leaving you two by yourselves.
“You… you’re… you… I can see colors.” He whispered. Your heart was racing a mile a minute as he walked towards you. You reached your hand out in hopes he’d take it to follow you into the back room.
You led him back there, both your heads turning in different directions taking in all the colors you could. He placed his hand delicately on your cheek as he stroked his thumb against it. “You’re real.” You muttered, smiling brightly. He pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms tightly around your body. You melted into his touch as he rested his cheek on the top of your head.
“God I never thought this day would come.” He thought out loud. You two pulled away, his hand still holding your arm. “I get off at 5, would you want to go maybe look at the sunset? We could get food and go up to the roof.” His face blushed at your offer. He softly nodded his head as your heart was pounding. “Yeah I would love that."
______________♡_____________
Your shift ended, making your nerves spike at an all time high. Hanging up your apron in the back room, you walked out to see John B sitting in a booth, anxiously tapping his leg. You approached him with your hand extended out towards him. "You ready?” You asked. He answered your question by intertwining his fingers with yours. He slid out of the booth, holding a picnic basket in his hand.
Your heart skipped a beat at just how sweet he was. He led you two out of the parlor and into his beautifully decorated van. “This, this is a piece of art.” You smiled, looking at the stickers everywhere.
“Finally! Someone appreciates my art. Also I’m sorry for the weed smell, JJ usually hot boxes the whole van in the back.” JB explained, one hand on the steering wheel, the other still holding your hand.
“It’s all good, I get it.” You smiled as he pulled up to the beach. Finding a spot, John B laid a large towel on the sand, sitting down with his legs crossed. You happily joined him, biting your bottom lip as he pulled out a small bouquet of roses. “You’re a true cliché, aren’t you John B?” You asked after inhaling the relaxing scent of the flowers.
“Only for my soulmate.” He winked.
You two spent the entire time talking. Every minute you two spent together was filled with conversations and laughter. It came to a pause when you finally looked at the setting sun. The sky was a beautiful mix of pinks and oranges, white fluffy clouds slowly disappearing. The way the color of the blue waves clashed against the bright ones of the sky.
“It’s beautiful.” You whispered, squeezing his hand in yours. John B looked down at your intertwined hands before looking at you again. “It certainly is.”
John B used his index finger to hold the bottom of your chin, making you look at him. His eyes looked in yours, practically asking for permission to kiss you. You gladly leaned forward and pressed your lips against his, feeling like you were on a high.
You’ve kissed other guys before, but knowing that you were kissing your soulmate truly felt like a blessing. You’ve never experienced this kind of passion in your life, igniting the flames in your stomach.
Before things got too intense in the make out session, he pulled away. Gently biting your bottom lip, a chill was sent down her spine. “You know what my favorite color is?” You asked, your thumb swiping across his bottom lip.
“What?”
“Hazel brown.” You said, noticing the details of his eyes. How when the sunlight hit it at the right angle, it looked like honey.
hi girl i was hoping you’d be interested in doing another jj x reader? Where JJ finds her hidden, having a panic attack and it takes a little bit to calm her down? 52, 84, 92, 125 , 152 were the numbers I picked but if there’s too many or you can’t make them all work, you can pick whichever.
Word count: 1,552
Summary: JJ finds you having a panic attack and is right by your side to help you calm down.
Prompts:
52. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”
84. “Take your medicine.”
92. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”
125. “Don’t do anything stupid, I’m gonna help you.”
152. “It happened again.”
17 years. 17 years of constant arguments between your parents that ended with screaming and cussing. 17 years of flinching everytime a door slammed. 17 years of wondering if it would end with violence or a drunk mother and/or father.
There was one person who stayed by your side those entire 17 years, your best friend JJ Maybank. JJ was your neighbor since you two were in diapers, becoming his best friend after he asked you if you would like to go to the local playground to go collect bugs for his insect tank. He was always there for you no matter what the issue was, whether it be a boy who broke your heart, your parents arguing, hell even if you had cramps he would be over in a minute with snacks and medicine for the pain.
JJ knew you more than you knew yourself; he knew when you were stressed, he knew when you haven’t eaten, he knew if you needed to leave a situation, he always knew if you didn’t take your medication. He was always on top of you with your medication for your anxiety. Everyday at 3 p.m. and he wasn’t with you, he would call or text you to make sure you took the pills.
He was the reason you were still alive and functioning, the reason you were still smiling even with everything you were facing. He was there right by your side holding your hand when you went to your first therapy session. He was there for you when you had your first panic attack. JJ was the ray of sunshine in the tunnel of darkness that suffocated you.
It was 5 in the morning when you first heard the shouts of your parents. Their screams echoed through the halls, slamming against the sound of the closed bathroom door. You sat in the bathtub, knees pulled up to your chest as you rested your head on your arms. You rocked back and forth softly trying to catch your breath as it felt like the walls were closing in.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you clamped your hands over your ears as you heard a harsh slapping sound and a broken cry escape your mother’s lips. The feeling of a cement block slowly felt like it was pushing on your chest, making it feel like your throat closed up with each breath you took. “It’s okay, I’m okay.” You quietly repeated to yourself, trying to trick yourself into believing it.
You opened your eyes, quickly shutting them again when you saw black splotches in the air; like when you rub your eyes too hard and you see the white spots in the back of your mind. You were too focused on trying to calm yourself down, you didn’t notice the door slamming twice signaling that both your parents left you alone in the house.
JJ was out in his backyard hearing the whole thing, eyes trained on your house praying that you were okay. As soon as he saw your parents storm out the front door he hopped over his fence and ran straight into your house. Panic was written on his face as he checked every room in the house, not seeing any sign of you. He checked your bedroom to see messed up sheets and your prescription medication on your night stand.
He ran to the bathroom directly across the hall to hear your broken whimpers coming from inside. He didn’t want to burst into the room, knowing that would only make your panic attack worse. He gently knocked on the door, feeling panicked when you didn’t answer in any way. He opened the door to see an empty bathroom, but he quickly realized you were sitting in the bathtub. Pulling the curtain back, his heart shattered seeing you in such a distressed state.
You popped your head up at the sound of the curtain moving, afraid your parents found you there. You instantly felt a wave of relief rush through your body, but you still felt like you were frozen in fear. “I feel like I can’t breathe.” You stuttered, still feeling the crushing weight on your chest. He quickly got down on his knees to become face to face with you. He slowly reached his hand out and held onto your shoulders, waiting for you to allow him to hug you.
You turned your body towards him and that’s when he knew he could hug you. He wrapped his arm around your waist, the other holding the back of your head; entangling itself in your hair. Tucking your face into the crook of your neck, you felt as if you could slowly start to breathe again. “It happened again.” You mumbled, attempting to stop your body from shaking. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before slowly pulling back.
“Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.“ He pressed his forehead against yours, placing your hand on his chest, right on top of his heart. "Follow my breathing, okay? In… out… in… out… there we go, sunshine.” You repeated his actions, feeling your lungs inhale the air properly. The heavy weight was no longer on your chest, leaving a small aching feeling.
“Don’t do anything stupid, I’m gonna help you,“ he said, "I’ll be right back.” You swallowed harshly, realizing how dry your mouth had gotten. You wiped away the stray tears with the back of your hand and blew your nose with toilet paper before JJ came back with your pill bottle and a glass of water.
“Take your medicine.” He instructed, passing you a pill into your hand. You sighed loudly before looking up at JJ. He gave you a look you knew all too well. It was the ‘Please take this before I have to forcefully cram it down your throat’ look that he’s been giving you since you first got the prescription. You tossed the pill into your mouth, quickly chugging the glass of water. You fanned yourself with your hands, body feeling hot from feeling so claustrophobic.
“Hot?” He asked, sitting on the lid of the toilet. You nodded your head, running your hand through your hair to push it out of your face. “You trust me?” He asked you as he stood up. You nodded your head, “of course.” “Okay, just sit there but scoot forwards.” You obeyed him as scooted towards the front of the tub, your eyelids feeling heavy.
JJ slowly turned the faucet on and plugged the tub, allowing it to begin to fill with cold water. You instantly relaxed at the cool touch, softly grinning as you saw JJ take his shoes off before stepping into the tub behind you. You reached forward and shut the water off once it reached up to your thighs. JJ rested against the back wall, allowing you to lay yourself between his legs, your back pressed against his chest. His arms reached around your front as he looped his fingers on top of yours. Your body shivered as he pressed a soft kiss to the back of your neck.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” He started softly singing, earning a soft giggle from you. “You make me happy when skies are gray.” You sang with him, letting the feeling of happiness overcome your emotions. “You never know dear, how much I love you.” You tilted your head back against his chest, fluttering your eyes shut as he pecked your forehead. “Please don’t take my sunshine away."
You could feel your heartbeat find a steady pace once again as you surrounded yourself in JJ’s touch. He rested his cheek on the top of your head, smiling to himself as he heard you sigh in relief. "You okay princess?” He whispered into your ear, triggering a patch of goosebumps to appear on your arms.
“Is it okay if I go get us some dry clothes?” You nodded your head as JJ carefully exited the tub, grabbing a towel to dry his lower half off. You stretched your body out in the tub, letting the cool water splash against your torso. JJ went to your closet, immediately taking his extra clothes he leaves there for nights like this one. He picked out shorts and a shirt for you to sleep in, hoping it would be comfortable enough for you.
He walked back towards the bathroom, passing you a towel and your dry clothes. You two faced away from each other as you both quickly changed out of your clothes. You giggled as JJ almost fell over trying to put his shorts on, hearing him grunt in annoyance at his action.
Being too lazy to put your clothes in the washer, you left your clothes in the bathtub along with JJ’s. You led him to your room, closing the door before you threw yourself onto your bed. JJ turned the bedroom lights off before joining you in bed, carefully tucking the sheets around your body. You faced him, your eyes slowly shutting as JJ held the side of your face, his thumb delicately skimming your cheek.
“Goodnight, sunshine.” You mumbled, angling your head to kiss the palm of his hand. He smiled at you with an adoring look in his eyes, “goodnight, princess.”
