#people are poison

My Mind | 14

Today I wanna talk about friendships. What does a friendship means exactly? Does it mean that I have to do everything to keep them satisfied? When does a friendship became a toxic one? All my life I did everything possible to keep the one I used to call “my best friends” happy. I used to  say it’s okay if they talked about me behind my back cause we’re girls and thats normal right? When they planned a vacation without me I used to say it’s okay maybe they thought I had to work. When I told them I’d almost lost my virginity they used to judge me behind my back although they were no longer virgins. I thought it was my fault cause I was stupid enough to almost let it happen. I thought I did something wrong. At this moment I used to do everything to keep them happy. I lent money without demanding it back, I donated food without recieving a consideration. Just to keep them satisfied. Everything just to be not left alone. Now I’m alone and I still think it’s my fault, that I did something wrong just to be around someone who never really cared about me.They never asked how I’m doing. They don’t even know about my depression. This friendship was toxic from the beginning but I didn’t realized it. It happened slowly and step by step. I’m better off on my own. People are Poison. 

- a vision of ecstasy