I’m happy with who I am. I am so filled with hope and love and softness. I am not what I have been through- I will always be that kid who just wants to see people smile and if someone doesn’t see that- sorry.

4evamc:

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Isn’t it funny how something that use to be the worst habit like cutting,carving and burning took over your life, but then all of a sudden its just easy to stop..?

i have been self harming for a year and a half and the longest i have ever gone is 6-7 weeks.. i am currently at 5 weeks and my goal is 8+ weeks. it use to be all i would think about.. 24/7 i would self harm once, twice maybe even 3 times? a day depending in what was going on… i have self harmed not only at home but at school as well.

i remembered one time i was so depressed and didn’t have blade and i was out shopping with one of my best friends and i bought a package of pencil sharpeners and took the blades out cause i was so desperate.

now that i think of it i just think of how i don’t want to be that person and how gross that is, to be so addicted like that, i have no longer wanted to self harm in like 5 months it just doesn’t really appeal to me anymore but when shit happens that’s all i really know to do so i trying to fix that and change that into new habits that are good.!!!

although i say that.. ever since i slowed down and stopped self harming i have started starving myself and am under weight but i will be trying harder to recover as i need to be strong to susceed in my sport,

-Depressed mess (B)

ily all stay strong xoxo

check out my instagram @you.wrecked.me._

im tired

of having to open my eyes for a new day

for once, i just want someone to stay

is it the way i was wired

that drives people away

Sorry guys I dissapeared for awhile. I went to treatment and couldnt remember my fucking password

Sure, nothing lasts forever.

But loving you never gets old.

I didn’t forget about you

I just remembered me.

Maybe… The reason why it’s hard to let go of the past

Is that we can’t see our future.

I’m so starved for Connection.

But my Wi-fi is out.

Why can’t existing

be a good enough achievement?

i’m just now realising that there are names for these things i’ve been feeling for years- camhs really is doing something something for me after going through like 3 therapists but if i get one more diagnosis i’m gonna cry

Not about the tears but about the emotions behind them.

benzodosis:

Ich bin psychisch so am Ende, dass ich mich auch körperlich total erschöpft fühle.

Mir fehlt eingentlich nichts, aber irgendwie auch alles.

When will it be over so I can finally rest.

When I fix others, I don’t have to think about how fucking broken I am.

What if there is nothing on the other side. Is it our salvation or our non existing in an endless universe of nothingness.

When there is nothing to hold on to, all you can do is let go and watch how it destroys you.

Fake happiness is the worst kind of pain.

It’s all my fault. I know it. I destroy everything and everyone around me.

Fake it until you end it all.

The voices are telling the truth.

Drugs are addicting because they make you feel alive when you’re dead inside.