This was inspired by @scenecipriano poston Roman being able to use the hurt incantation and Remus being able to use the healing incantation from Tangled so go check them out!
(I made art to go with this yay)
(let’s pretend the dark and light sides got along more or less at some point but had a fallout at some point)
How they figured out they could do the incantations :
things about this asides episode that make me Very Nervous for the confirmed upcoming season finale two-parter:
at the start of the video thomas says that the episode is “essential viewing” for the main storyline
imo, the most essential storyline detail from the video would be the introduction of nico, a love interest for c!thomas, which makes me think that he will most definitely come up again
there are heavy implications that c!thomas is completely relying on this thing with nico to work out well for him otherwise he willbe devastated (ex. roman’s face as nico walks away and the fact he calls him “another chance at happiness”)
(and oh btw, this whole situation is very reminiscent of how c!thomas desperately wanted to go to the callback and was eventually devastated when he wasn’t able to…. hmm.. remind me which side deals with wants/desires/dreams again?)
when c!thomas does the whole introductory dog barking bit at the beginning of the vid, it looked like he was going to film a regular sanders sides video but then decided to “get out of there” and go to the mall, hence the whole plot of the episode unfolds, but WHAT WAS HE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ???
also nico’s whole foreshadowing moment?? with the song??? like the whole “aspect of someone’s life who feels like a trash bin and the waste keeps piling & piling up until it spills over to the rest of their life” thing??? that is so obviously talking about the roman angst that’s been building up for ages now???
during the bathroom monologue… roman looking at himself in the mirror with so much shame because he doesn’t know how to guide c!thomas to his dreams anymore and feels like he’s failing him….. the Pain
roman saying “maybe it’s for the best..” when he thinks the thing with nico won’t work out + that line implying that c!thomas is maybe not actually “ready” for the relationship…. ruh roh moments
and like ok i’m not saying that c!thomas’s relationship with nico crashing and burning is definitely going to be the tipping point for the trash bin if yk what i mean but that is like. exactly what i’m saying.
hey fyi this is just a theory so please don’t be heartbroken/sad that “their relationship won’t work out” or smthn, none of this is confirmed and i’m just speculating!! really did not mean to bring down the happy post-episode vibes with my little analysis here so have this soft roman & virge as an apology
things about this asides episode that make me Very Nervous for the confirmed upcoming season finale two-parter:
at the start of the video thomas says that the episode is “essential viewing” for the main storyline
imo, the most essential storyline detail from the video would be the introduction of nico, a love interest for c!thomas, which makes me think that he will most definitely come up again
there are heavy implications that c!thomas is completely relying on this thing with nico to work out well for him otherwise he willbe devastated (ex. roman’s face as nico walks away and the fact he calls him “another chance at happiness”)
(and oh btw, this whole situation is very reminiscent of how c!thomas desperately wanted to go to the callback and was eventually devastated when he wasn’t able to…. hmm.. remind me which side deals with wants/desires/dreams again?)
when c!thomas does the whole introductory dog barking bit at the beginning of the vid, it looked like he was going to film a regular sanders sides video but then decided to “get out of there” and go to the mall, hence the whole plot of the episode unfolds, but WHAT WAS HE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ???
also nico’s whole foreshadowing moment?? with the song??? like the whole “aspect of someone’s life who feels like a trash bin and the waste keeps piling & piling up until it spills over to the rest of their life” thing??? that is so obviously talking about the roman angst that’s been building up for ages now???
during the bathroom monologue… roman looking at himself in the mirror with so much shame because he doesn’t know how to guide c!thomas to his dreams anymore and feels like he’s failing him….. the Pain
roman saying “maybe it’s for the best..” when he thinks the thing with nico won’t work out + that line implying that c!thomas is maybe not actually “ready” for the relationship…. ruh roh moments
and like ok i’m not saying that c!thomas’s relationship with nico crashing and burning is definitely going to be the tipping point for the trash bin if yk what i mean but that is like. exactly what i’m saying.
Seeing a red spider lily with someone in your dreams means you won’t cross paths ever again. So what if to say goodbye/duck out. Roman gives Thomas one last dream with them having an adventure but at the end he hands Thomas a red spider lily.
This was inspired by @scenecipriano poston Roman being able to use the hurt incantation and Remus being able to use the healing incantation from Tangled so go check them out!
(I made art to go with this yay)
(let’s pretend the dark and light sides got along more or less at some point but had a fallout at some point)
How they figured out they could do the incantations :
When Tangled the Movie came out, Roman sang/hummed the healing incantation all the time. Although he tried to heal stuff while singing it, it never worked. Even in the imagination, it didn’t work for him.
One day, Roman and Remus fought in the common room(again) but Remus pushed Roman a little too hard and he ended up hitting the corner of the table, leaving a huge gash on his forehead.
While Remus can’t hurt the other sides, Roman and Remus can hurt each other (unless they’re in the imagination), although they heal faster than humans since they’re not real. So the cut was there to stay and needed to be treated.
So Roman is laying on the ground, groaning and tearing up in pain and Remus runs towards him and kneels besides him in a panic
Remus panicking and rambling all the worse possibilities of the cut getting infected and green with pus to the point where Roman will get really sick or maybe maggots will start to- suddenly that stupid song that Roman sings keeps playing in his head,(Probably because Roman was also panicking and wishing that the incantation would work and like I feel like any song stuck in your head would be in Remus’s domain)
Remus starts unconsciously singing it and unaware as the white streak in his hair and his eyes starts to glow.
Roman is watching in awe as his brother sings the incantation, glowing like Rapunzel’s hair in the movie, but instead of the hair doing the healing, Remus has a glowing aura that starts to heal Roman’s cut.
When Remus ends the incantation, he looks and see Roman looking at him with stars in his eyes and the cut gone with no scarring. (There’s still blood everywhere but that’s a different problem for later)
Roman is a little jealous but generally super excited that Remus can do the incantation starts to bombard Remus with questions and basically fanboying over the power while Remus is slightly confused but also glad that Roman is okay.
When they told the other sides, they didn’t believe the twins because “Surely Roman would be the one who can use healing/good magic, right?” So Remus did the first thing that came to mind.
STAB ROMAN IN THE GUT.
The others(Patton and Virgil) started to scream in worry but before they could try to help, Remus started to sing and glow. They were in awe (except Logan, who was confused as magic defied logic) as the stab wound healed itself and a pleasant feeling washed over them.
They praised Remus on his new found power (but Janus and Patton soon started to tell him that maybe he shouldn’t just stab Roman out of nowhere and give everyone a heart attack.)
Roman, on the other hand, found out he could do the hurt incantation in the worstpossible way
When Tangled the series showed the episode with the incantation, Remus found it so cool and would sing that and luckily for everyone, it didn’t work.
He even came up with a first verse to match the healing incantation.
Roman would start to sing the healing incantation for fun and Remus would sing the hurt incantation either after or they would alternate lines.
One day, everyone was hanging out in the common room to binge Tangled together, at the twins insistence. When Rapunzel started to say the hurt incantation the twins followed with her
It started out nice at the first time, but in the dark of the room no one noticed how Roman’s posture became stiff and how a tuft of dark hair that he usually keeps dyed, slowly turned pure black.
Everyone started to shiver and it got harder for them to breath. When the tv began to glitch out and eventually turned off completely, Remus stopped to look around confusingly.
The other sides were struggling to get up or even make a noise of pain. Well, all the sides but Roman whose eyes were black as night and a face with endless tears, staring blankly at the tv, singing the incantation and even using the lyrics Remus came up with.
Remus, who was barely being affected by Roman, tried to yell at him to stop but it was like Roman couldn’t even hear him or stop himself.
So Remus, thinking there was no other way, summoned his morningstar and knocked Roman out.
When Roman came to, he was horrified when the others told him what happened. Even though everyone told him it wasn’t his fault and Remus excitedly told him it’s cool how he could do it, Roman felt like a monster and a villain for hurting his friends and vowed to never sing that incantation again.
When they use the incantation:
Remus usually uses it when he and Roman play a little too rough and hurt one another and they don’t want to deal with the wounds healing on their own
Although he’ll start singing it randomly but because he can control it, he can stop whenever.
Roman NEVER uses it, even when he’s in imagination and surrounded by monsters
He’s too scared since he can’t stop once he starts singing.
But unconsciously, when he’s super stressed or thinking very negative thoughts, he’ll start to think of the song or mumble a couple words. To Roman, it’s like the magic is tempting him to use it and that’s what scares him out of the trance as soon as he feels the cold grasp of it.
Bonus: Post- POF episode because we need a little more angst in our lives
After Roman sunk out of the living room, he went to his room and fell to his knees sobbing.
He wasn’t Thomas’s hero, he made fun of Janus’s name because his own insecurities, stress and past hurt feelings made him scared to trust Janus again.
The thoughts of Patton being wrong about Janus, how no one listened to him when he tried to get Thomas to talk to Lee and Mary Lee before the wedding, how they only listened to Janus, who hasn’t been there all the time to help Thomas in the other videos, say the same things he tried to say and how he’ll always be wrong, no matter what side he chooses and Janus’s comment of him evil like Remus. They all hurt him. It wasn’t fair.
Roman heard knocking on the door but he wasn’t ready to face anyone yet so he fled to the imagination and into his castle, his safe haven.
With all the thoughts surrounding and engulfing him, Roman fell on his throne and started to mumble words that forced their way out of his throat. Not noticing that it was the hurt incantation.
Slowly but surely, he went from mumbling a few words to singing the whole song. The room got chillier and his eyes and tuft of hair turned black. Tendrils of darkness and decay spreading from his throne outward to the kingdom and all his creations.
But Roman didn’t care, the magic not only took away his control, it took away any thoughts he had and it was like he was nothing but an empty doll now, a broken record on repeat.
God the asides with the “if I’m making a mistake, I’ll add it to the list” hit hard and this episode showed how hard Roman tried to push Thomas to get what he wants but ultimately Thomas leaned towards lying to get out of things and he didn’t even listen to Roman in the end it was Virgil who pushed the last decision to talk to him.
YOOO lets do a Roman angst trade. You hit me with Roman angst and I’ll hit you with Roman angst. Can be a headcannon, an angsty theory, or a angst moment or whatever. I don’t care the medium, just come at me with your worst and ill do my best to match or one-up you. please do it I am very bored.
HC: the more Roman feels like fake for pretending to be okay and happy for the other sides, the more he turns into a porcelain doll. For example, his skin starts to turn to porcelain after pretending to be happy with the decision with what happened in the courtroom. Eventually it goes away as Roman forgets the problem or starts to feel better.
Imagine if he never gets better after making the decision to go to the wedding, Remus making it worse when he hits Roman because he hits him causing cracks in his skin. After POF, he tries to stop the spread of the porcelain and goes to the others but he overhears them talking and laughing with each other without him and even an off hand comment/joke how it’s a little more peaceful without his dramatic inputs. So he tries to deal with it on his own, not noticing cracks blooming from his chest, and tries to change himself to be better for the other(making the porcelain spread faster).
The others eventually come to check on the creative side that’s been missing for weeks, only to find a smiling, cracked, unmoving, procelain prince with strings attached to his limbs, laying peacefully on the bed and never to move again.
Okay so I’ve been trying to think of a Mini fic to accompany the artI did for Pride!Roman. So here it is and it’s based off of Someone gets hurt Reprise.
Tw: swearing, Angst all the way, Roman being in hysterics and not that kind to Janus.
Pairing: Implied past Roceit
So let’s imagine Roman and Janus being on okay terms pre-trial episode. The two would re-enact musical and plays or go on adventures in the imagination, (basically go out on dates, not that either would admit that now) without the other lightsides knowing. Roman, at some point, wanted Janus to get the attention he deserved and helped think of ways to help him get that without any of the other sides (mostly Virgil) getting too agitated by Janus’s presence. Him and Remus (the twins have a love hate relationship most of the time) suggested to just keep pretending as other sides until an opportunity comes up.
The trial episode happens and with everyone telling Roman that Janus is bad and he was bad for even trying to side with him, Roman’s view on Janus changes as he was also manipulated into choosing between the wedding and Thomas’s dreams. Before Roman could even work out a way to apologize to Janus for not choosing something great for Thomas, he was betrayed by him. When Janus essentially releases Remus onto the others abruptly and harm Thomas’s mental health was the final straw for Roman’s adoration and trust of Janus.
After SvS redux, Janus sinks down to tell Remus the great news of him being accepted and also wanted the side to help him make amends with Roman. He finds Remus trying to comfort a hysterical Roman and sees Roman’s outfit begin to change into a darker version of it. Panicked, he runs to them and tries his hardest to help Roman as he is self preservation, but is pushed away hard by Roman. Roman just laughs hysterically at his shocked reaction. Remus is just looking and watching the scene and Janus with pity and anger.
“Oh, look isn’t it the newest lightside?!” Roman cries out in faux happiness.
“Roman please- You’re fall-“ Janus tries but Roman just laughs.
“So what if I fall? You don’t care you never did! So tell me how’s being accepted feel? Is it everything you ever dreamed it feel? Crushing the competition to get there and making every side see you’re the good one? Have them love you when really they’ll always hate you?” Roman giggled insanely.
Janus snaps back, “You also wanted me to be accepted! What happened to that?! Hell, You and Re wanted me to pretend to be a lightside-“
Remus interrupts this time, “Snakey, that’s not pretend! You’re as lightside as they come! You think you’re always in the right like Patton, and you think that the rest of us are dumb like Logan! Worst of all, you left me in the dark like Virgil did to us.” He says, feeling betrayed.
Janus looks at him with shame but then sees that his outfit is also changing to a light grey and looks at back at Roman to see Roman’s outfit is now completely black, “Please, you two don’t understand- Roman’s becoming-“
Roman lifts him by his collar and slams him up against a wall, “This is all your fault! This is how Thomas sees me now! So I might as well just let go of my role as creativity and become a villain right? After all I do need an ego boost after being torn down so much, right? Maybe a little Ṕ̥̺̯̭̮͕͕̰͟R̶͖̣̗̯̘̗̘̳̕I̸̡̱̙͟D̴̗̯E̵̱̦͖̘ ẃ͖̥͕͎͜o̶̸̯͕u̵͍̯l̳̼͕̘̬͕̟̦͞d̩͈͝͡ͅn̷͙͍͉̖͎̰͓͡'̫̫̻͍̕t͔́͝ ̼͇͖̹̗̫h̵͘҉̞̲u̧̡̫̹r҉҉͔̙͔̞͡t̢̠̳͉̻̯͎̤ͅ!”
Roman yells, voice distorting, before crying out in pain clutching his head in pain and backing off.
Janus reaching out to help but is intercepted by Remus, “You know, I hate Roman’s guts most of the time. But you don’t seem to comprehend that you cut into him and gutted him like a fish and left him to rot to get what you wanted Jay. You knew well what the others put him through and yet you did the exact same and even poked at his insecurities because he made fun of your name. You went so far to break his heart.” He snarled.
“Remus please, let me help him.” Janus cries out.
“Ya know Janny~” Roman said suddenly in a sing song voice, no longer in pain, “I used to get upset at the others for ignoring me at times but they proved they cared about me, and at least-“he choked a bit, “At least they had the decency, to not pretend love me!” He yelled and looked up with his now golden eyes.
Janus flinched and his eyes softened at the accusation, desperate to fix what he broke, “Ro, dear-“ He whispered.
Roman shook his head angrily, “No, it’s fine! Really fine! Go be a lightside!” Roman yelled before sinking out of Remus’s room.
Janus fell to his knees as Remus’s room began to change to incorporate more than just disgusting and terrible things. He looked at the remaining side and was met with a pitied stare.
“Really fucked up this one, Jay. When you said you wanted to be heard and for a little payback at Roman, I didn’t think you meant to go as far as to change Thomas’s view on him. Calling me and him fucking evil? How scandalous of you.” Remus said.
“I didn’t mean to I swear! I just-“ Janus whimpered before cutting himself off with a sob.
“I think it’s best if you leave, you have to explain how the prince has finally been pushed off the deep end and left to drown and be eaten by piranhas and sharks.” Remus sighed, turning his back to the sobbing side.
“And Janus? I’m pretty sure Roman wants that ring back.” Remus said before forcing Janus out of his room.
Janus is found by Patton on the floor of the common room, sobbing and apologizing to no one. He tried to calm the other down but Janus just starts to break even more at the sight of the lightside. Patton is forced to get Logan and Virgil to help try to calm him down. When he’s calmed, and explains what happened, the others are consumed with guilt and don’t fair better than he did at the news. Virgil starts to think of all the times the insults he never got in trouble for while Roman got scolded every time he clapped back and is on the verge of a panic attack, Logan thinks about how he always took away time for Roman help Thomas and bites his lips to prevent any emotions from showing, and the worse is Patton, who starts to sob and question why they had treated Roman so poorly and blame himself.
Not only have they lost someone dear to them, the same side is now filled with hatred and became what he never wanted to be, the bad guy.
I’m thinking about how Roman probably doesn’t want Janus having a seat at the table because maybe that means the others and Thomas will listen to a newcomer more than a person who’s been there from the beginning. I feel that Roman isn’t scared of losing his position at the table but rather he’s upset that Janus is getting what Roman has wanted for a long time, Thomas and the others to listen to him.
Like we see that Roman isn’t listened to at all in previous episodes and Thomas stifling his creativity, which Janus points out in the Trial episode. All the while it only takes an episode for Janus to be listened to even though he was previously shown to be manipulative and not to be trusted(Deciet is his role after all).
Roman was pacing. He was sure by now he was wearing holes in the floor, his scales up and rattling as he moved, vibrating with his frustration and conflicting thoughts, needing to burn off the extra nervous energy somehow.
Virgil’s bitter laughter was stuck in his head. The look on his face, so defeated and so devastated, so… sure, that what he was saying was true. He thought he was a waste of space, a nuisance, a… danger. And he was… right? Why did thinking that sound so bad, now, when it was what he’d been thinking all along?
Hadn’t he made it clear? He didn’t like Virgil, didn’t trust him, thought he was a danger and a threat and he hated leaving him to his own devices, hated him spending nights alone with Patton, hated knowing he could be lurking literally anywhere, how he slipped into shadows, how he could be totally undectable. If he’d had his way, they would have left Virgil on the planet they found Patton on, without a second glance.
So why did he feel so… guilty, hearing his own words thrown back in his face? That was how he felt, he’d never tried to hide it, but he wasn’t sure now that he was… right.
Because seeing Virgil sprawled on the bathroom floor, blood leaking from his head, seeing him curled on the floor, hyperventilating and clawing at himself, seeing him trapped in his own mind, in whatever horrors his brain had conjured, had shaken something within him, had broken his resolve to dislike and hate the human with all his might.
He had every reason, to hate humans, to distrust them, to not want them anywhere near his family.
But… but if Virgil were any other race, any other species, he wouldn’t hesitate to take Virgil under his wing, to protect him like one of his own, to swear him a life debt for protecting Patton, for saving him, for getting him out.
It wasn’t fair.
He… wasn’t being fair.
He jumped, at a knock on his door, taking a moment to take a deep breath, to settle his scales, before opening the door, not meeting Logan’s eyes.
“Hey, teach.”
“Roman… are you… alright?” He flinched at the question, tail swishing across the floor in agitation, considering trying to bluff his way out of this encounter, before letting out a long breath, slowly shaking his head, instead.
“No. I… don’t think I am.” He mumbled, drawing back from the doorway and sitting down on the floor, leaning against the wall and staring up at the ceiling. “I… it’s my fault, isn’t it? That he hid he was ill. He was right, about what I thought of him, but I don’t think that I was right, anymore. Does that make any sense?” He muttered the last question, feeling Logan settle into his chair, one hand tapping against the desk.
“It does. It was not your fault, not entirely, at least. Likely, your attitude did nothing to help his self esteem or self worth, and did lead to him isolating himself further, but he would likely be doing that anyways. It not a simple cause and effect, Roman. There are plenty of already underlying issues already in place.”
“those scars, Logan. What must they have done to him?” Logan shook his head, hands fidgeting mindlessly as he winced.
“They were harvesting him. Blood, Plasma, Adrenaline, other unique human biochemicals. It was much more… painful, physically, than what was done to me. And once they had drained him dry, they were going to sell him for parts.“ Roman growled, a sound so low and deep he could barely even hear him.
“Roman-”
“It’s barbaric, Logan. I know humans are supposed to be vicious monsters who care nothing for their own but… but that isn’t true! He has clan, Logan, he cried out for them. They took him and tortured him and it doesn’t matter, what species he is that isn’t right!” he yelled, shoving to his feet and starting to pace once more. “it isn’t right, and I haven’t been right, in how I’ve treated him, but it’s so hard, to look at him and not see-“ he broke off, breath catching, scales flattening, almost halving his size, struggling for a long moment to shove away the memories.
“I understand, Roman. You have every reason to be angry and conflicted over his presence here, and I know it is hard to differentiate but you must realize, just like any species, not all humans are the same. He’d been through hell, and instead of it making him cold and cruel he protected Patton, to make sure the same wouldn’t happen to him. He is so focused on everyone else’s wellbeing that he badly neglects his own.” He answered, watching Roman pace, tail swishing back and forth.
“what do I do, Logan? How… I don’t know how to stop, how to change what I feel, when I look at him, the fear that flashes through me every time he moves too fast, every time he steps towards Patton, steps towards you, I know he doesn’t mean to hurt anyone, but that doesn’t change that he could hurt everyone.”
“Stop solely vilifying him. Talk to him. Learn about him. Knowledge of something erases the fear of the unknown. If you can’t trust him, that’s understandable. But you can reach some sort of civil understanding, I’m sure.” Roman let out a soft snort of amusement.
“of course, your advice is to study. Not that you aren’t right, as always, teach.” Logan’s hand did a small twirl, his sign for relief or content in his weaving. None of them could comprehend every movement meaning, no matter how often he tried to explain them all, but they knew the basic styles and attitudes of his motions. “thank you, Logan.” He mumbled, ducking his head, a sign of respect to elders, one he rarely used, rarely admitted to not knowing something or being wrong, but Logan deserved it.
“Thank you for listening. I’ll let you sort out your thoughts.” Logan murmured, brushing against Roman gently, purposefully lingering for a moment in the brief contact in support, as he slipped out the door, and down the hall to his own room. He would try to take his own advice to Patton and get some sleep, though he doubted it would come easily. There was too much, on his mind, his hands struggled to keep track of it all.
Perhaps he’d try and draw, for a bit. He was getting rather good at using two hands simultaneously, and it would give him something to focus on instead of dwelling on his own worries and concerns over Virgil. It would clear his mind, and allow him to try and organize his thoughts into some semblance of coherency, because he was going to have to convince Virgil that they didn’t just care out of guilt, that they wanted him to have a chance at an actual life, and he was sure that was a truth Virgil both didn’t want to face, and didn’t know how to comprehend. But he would have to. Because Logan was not going to let this downward spiral continue a moment longer. Not when it had very nearly cost Virgil his life.
Everything feels too slow, except his pulse is too fast, he can feel it fluttering in his chest, and he realizes with a sinking feeling that he knows, he knows this feeling, this is how he always feels afterwards, the sedatives still running through him, but he’s still numb enough he can’t feel whatever they’ve done, though that won’t last long, now, not if he’s getting awareness back.
It must have been bad, if they decided to knock him out completely, he had an incredible tolerance for pain at this point, they haven’t put him fully under in years.
He remembers the ship. Aliens. Patton, Logan, Virgil, Janus.
But if he’s like this…
He’d been right. He’d been right, it was all a lie.
They were probably moving him out of the nice alien simulation area back into the cell, the cold, empty, icy cell, and he lets out a pathetic whimper, because he’d thought, he’d thought, he’d thought…
But of course. Of course, it was a lie, a ruse, and he’d always been just stupid enough to fall for them.
But he doesn’t hear Roman, anywhere, doesn’t feel him nearby, which is good. It means they really meant it, so early on, when they promised Roman could stay.
“Remus. Can you hear me?” Janus’s voice, and he winces, wishing it was anyone else, because he’d actually started not only trusting Janus, but liking being around him, feeling safe around him, and he doesn’t want to hear the explanation from him.
“please. Just go.” He mumbles, voice rasping. His throat is dry and burning, acid in his throat, and he barely manages even that much. “S fine. I get it. Gotta hand it to ya, you’re all incredible actors.” He hears a sharp inhale, then the bed shifts, and he feels a hand against his head, stroking his hair. He pulls away, tears slipping down his face. “don’t. if you’re gonna take this away, don’t be so nice about it.”
“Oh, darling. No one’s taking anything away. No one’s going anywhere. Do you remember, what happened?”
He furrows his brow, managing to crack open his eyes, vision blurry as he looks up at Janus.
“O-outside. S-something…” It rushes back to him, and he jolts upright, vision clearing, though his head spins. “I’m sorry! I’m s-sorry…” He trails off, falling into Janus’s open arms, somewhat surprising the naga, but he recovers quickly, cradling his head tight against him with one hand, the other supporting his back, Janus tucking his head over Remus’s shoulder, shushing softly. “I d-didn’t mean to, I d-didn’t… I’m sorry-“
“for what, darling? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I h-hit you, I almost at-acked Logan, I d-didn’t know wh-ere I was, I-“
“Remus. You protected us. You protected me. No one is mad. No one is hurt. Everyone is safe. I promise.” He feels Remus shaking against him, feels a wet spot growing against his shirt, and he holds Remus a little tighter. “you’re not back there. You got drugged, by the assailants, whom ran off in the face of a terrifyingly pissed off human.” He hears a little gasp of laughter from Remus, and smiles, pushing back his hair. “If anyone should apologize, it’s me. I was supposed to keep you safe, and instead you got hurt for my sake. Thank you, Remus.” He whispers, a bit surprised Remus hasn’t pulled away, is clinging this tightly to him.
“Roman’s okay?”
“Worried out of his mind, but otherwise unscathed. We wanted to let you wake up on your own, without all of us hovering. Figured that would only scare you more.”
“Probably a good choice. I… it got so muddled, it… what was it?”
“I don’t remember the name. Sedatives strong enough it would have wiped any of the rest of us out for days, left us completely weak and defenseless. The local authorities have tracked them down, a small smugglers ring. Saw our group, thought we were easy targets, didn’t realize you two were humans, since they’re so rare out in the galaxies. They’re being dealt with appropriately and severely. Like we said, this planet is a frequent stop for refugees. The people here don’t take kindly to anyone threatening that.” Remus finally pulls back slightly, knees to his chest.
“Will we ever just… be safe? Every time I get used to a routine, something happens, something bad. Routines are safe. I know what to expect, I know what’s going to happen when, there’s no anticipation or fear, because I know. Even… even before this, I knew the routine, knew that if I was quiet and good, they’d leave Roman alone. Knew that one day would be mind tests, the next would be physical experimentation, the next would be pain resistence, the next would be chemicals, I could prepare for the pain and the crash and the fall. I… what happens? What happens if this happens again? If I can’t pull back the little that I did? If something sets me off and I snap and forget and hurt all of you? What if I kill-“ He breaks off with a poorly stifled sob, and Janus rests a hand on his knee.
“you won’t. You’re not a monster, Remus. You’re smart and brave and resilient. And you are part of our family now, you and Roman both. And we will fight for you, just as hard as you fought every day for Roman, just as hard as you fought those smugglers for me, we will fight for you, Remus. And we won’t ever, ever give up on you.” Then Remus is back in his arms, shaking with tears, and Janus finds it impossible to hold back his own. “I promise.”
…
He’s laying outside on the grass, just off the ramp that leads into the ship. The grass tickles his arms, his legs, the smell of it heady and sweet, and he closes his eyes, just breathing in a deep, huge breath.
The sun is just starting to set, though instead of fiery oranges and pinks, the sky here is turning a deep violet and electric pink. Kinda neat, even though it does pull at his heart. He opens his eyes with a low sigh, staring up at the slowly emerging stars, the unfamiliar constellations, planets, moons. How far are they, he wonders, from Earth? He supposes Logan would know, but he’s almost afraid to ask. He’s not sure he wants to know.
“Roman? You doing ok, kiddo?” Patton asks, sitting down on the ground near him, and he takes another deep breath in and out. “you’re crying.” Patton says, softer, and he rubs his eyes surprised as they come away wet. He hadn’t noticed.
“I… don’t know. Just… look at this, Patton. It’s so huge. And we’re just…just carried along by its tide. Just lost in the oceans of darkness. I keep looking, for the North Star. It’s the guiding light, on Earth, it doesn’t move, points steadily North. The bottom of the Big Dipper. Or was it the Little Dipper? No, it musta been big dipper, that’s the one the slaves would use, when they escaped the south, to lead them to freedom. They had songs and stories and legends. They looked up at the sky, and had hope, looking up, that beacon leading them onwards. I’ve never had a North Star. And I keep… I keep looking for one, Patton, but I can’t find it. There’s nothing familiar or same or… I don’t know… I don’t know!” He cries, resting an arm across his forehead. “there’s so much out there. And I never thought I would ever have the chance to see any of it. We were going to die, there. We both knew it. Knew sooner or later, either on purpose or on accident, they’d do something irreparable and one of us would die. And one of us dying was just the same as both of us. But we didn’t. In the endless, vast, hugeness, somehow, we didn’t. What are the chances, of that? What are the chances, of you finding us, instead of some other humans, of finding anything at all? What… did we do, to deserve to be found? What do we even do, now? How…” he breaks off, pressing his palms against his eyes for a long moment, before tugging his hands through his hair, finally tilting his head to look at Patton. “how do we go on, without any North Star?”
“Kiddo…” Patton exhales, reaching out his hand, leaving it palm up on the grass, an invitation, rewarded as, after a moment, Roman reaches out, placing a palm atop his, not pulling away as Patton slowly intertwines their fingers. “you didn’t have to do anything, to deserve to be found. Because you never deserved to be taken. You never, never, deserved to be hurt or terrorized in the ways that you were. You’re right, the chances of our efforts leading us to you, in the entire universe, are so, so, small. But we found you, we found you, Roman, it doesn’t matter how or why, it just matters that we did, because you and Remus deserve so much better, you deserve the universe, Roman, and I would give it to you, if I could, I would give you the cosmos. I know, it’s overwhelming, having freedoms, having choices, having the galaxies open to you, to do anything you want, I know it feels like there’s too much, and you’re drowning in choices you don’t know how to make, you don’t feel safe making, because every choice before this was a test, made for you, to hurt you. I know it’s scary. Especially after what happened today, it’s scary. But you have us, to lean on. To help you, to support you, to just… be there. And I need you to know, if you did… if someone did take you, again, if somehow something went wrong, we would never, never stop searching for you, we would never give up on finding you, until you were safe with us again. You’re part of our family, Ro. I would do anything for you. I love you.” He says softly, worrying he’s gone overboard, as he looks at Roman’s slightly stricken face.
Then Roman moves faster than his eyes can process, throwing his arms around his neck, sobbing quietly into his shoulder. His wings flutter in surprise, then he’s wrapping his arms around Roman, his wings, blocking out the rest of the world, cradling him in soft warmth and safety, radiating out peace and love and warmth as he rubs his back, shushing him gently. “It’s ok, baby. It’ll be ok. I’ve got you.” He murmurs, feeling Roman shaking against him.
“th-thank you, g-god, Pat, th-thank you, y-y-you’re so good, y-ou’re so… thank you.”
“Of course, kiddo. Of course. I love you, you’re so good, too, Roman, you just have to let yourself believe it, let yourself see it. I can’t wait to see it, Roman, to see you and Remus start to believe in yourselves again, it’s going to be so beautiful.”
They sit like that for a long time, until the stars come out, until the sun fully sets, until Patton almost thinks Roman must have fallen asleep, his breath coming in deep and steady, his heart a steady pace against his chest, Roman relaxed and melted against him, as he strokes his back, teases through his hair, he’s never seen Roman this calm, not even in sleep. So he’s surprised when Roman shifts, eyes peeking up at him, at the stars in the sky.
“I suppose we should head inside.” Patton keeps teasing through his hair, smiling softly as Roman leans into the touch, eyes fluttering shut in pure bliss.
“We can stay out, if you want. It won’t get too cold out here, and I stay plenty warm, no matter the weather.” Roman nods, settling back against him, letting out a huge yawn, taking in a deep breath.
“M’kay. If you’re sure, Pat.” He murmurs, snuggling tighter against him. he chuckles, pulling his wings in tighter around the sleepy human.
“I am, baby.”
“Pat?”
“yes, sweetie?” He answers, tucking his hair back.
“love you.” He nearly cries, but manages to stifle it, not willing to risk waking Roman, who desperately needs the sleep, they both do, to heal properly. So he brushes a gentle kiss across his forehead, smile huge and eyes wet, as he watches Roman sleep soundly in his arms.
“Patton?” They both looked up at the sound of the door opening, Janus slipping inside, surveying the scene. Virgil was still curled against Patton, eyes red and hands a bit shaky, though he seemed alright otherwise.
“H-hi.“ Virgil managed, voice hoarse, though his sobs had died out hours ago.
“Virgil. How are you feeling, love?” Janus asked, voice warm with relief and concern.
“better. I think.” He mumbled, fidgeting with his hoodie strings, dark eyes barely visible from the depths of his hood. “which isn’t really saying much, considering anything is probably better than where I was.”
“Any progress is progress, darling. It doesn’t have to be a huge revelation, to be important. Sometimes, you hear something so often it becomes a fact of life in your head, regardless of the truth of the matter. Sometimes you just need to hear the opposite enough times from enough people to start believing in your own worth again.” Janus said, leaning in the doorway. Virgil huffed, looking away.
“you’re all so much… smarter, than me. No wonder I stayed with Him. I’m so… just… stupid.”
“You’re not, love. You’re not the only one, who died because of an unhealthy, abusive, relationship. You’re not the only one who loved someone who wasn’t good for you. If I seem smarter, it’s only because I’ve had longer to comes to terms with it. I’ve had the others, to help break down all of what was taught to me. There’s nothing stupid about it, Virgil. People like that… they know what they’re doing, when they manipulate you, and they’re damn good at it. It isn’t your fault, darling, and you aren’t stupid for it. You’re just… human.” Janus smiled wryly, and something about his words struck so close to home that Virgil almost burst into tears again, barely containing them with a deep breath and hard swallow.
“Do you wanna go properly meet Roman and Logan?” Patton asked softly, and Virgil seemed to shrink in on himself more.
“He’d add Remus to the group of people you need to ‘properly meet’, but you’ve met him at about his best.” Janus added dryly, half smirking in victory as Virgil let out a small, shaky laugh.
“ok. If… if you’re sure they don’t h-hate me. For h-hurting them. Hurting you.”
“They don’t, honey.” Patton reassured, kissing the top of his head, before helping him to his feet, Virgil a little wobbly, though he waved away Patton’s concern.
…
Roman was pacing the living room once more, unable to cease his motion or risk flying apart at the seams. He knew, it wasn’t Virgil’s fault, but that darkness, that power… it scared him.
And now Patton was alone with him, alone with the being that had very nearly sapped him dry. He was so conflicted. On the one hand, he felt sorry for Virgil, he had watched him, after all, they had, seen how he struggled with depression and anxiety, and on top of that an abusive relationship. He knew Virgil didn’t mean any harm, was extremely strong to have pulled back from the brink.
But the protective side of him was screaming that Patton was in danger, they were all in danger, as long as Virgil stuck around. At least Janus had left, a few minutes ago, to check on them.
“Roman. Would you please cease?” Logan asked, looking up from his book, frowning slightly at the noise of his pacing.
“How can you be so calm about this?” He asked, rounding on Logan, who merely raised a brow.
“Virgil has agreed to let Patton, at least, help him manage his issues, and Janus has personal experience recovering from the kind of trauma Virgil has endured. I am confident that we will not have another issue. Why are you still panicking?” Logan’s tone made him want to scream, so frustratingly even, and he threw up his hands.
“Why wouldn’t I be? He nearly destroyed us, Logan, and he wasn’t even trying! We both know he’s prone to fits of panic! What if during one of them he snaps, and hurts all of us? What if he loses control? It wasn’t even fully formed, and it nearly-“
“Roman-“
“And he wasn’t even trying, Logan! What happens if he decides to use it? He has almost as much power as Remus, what if he decides he wants the place to himself, what if he decides he’s tired of us, what if he decides to hurt you, or Patton, or Janus? He could end us, Logan, and I refuse to let that happen. I won’t sit idly by and let him tear all of this apart. We have to… to do something! Something to make sure he can’t!”
“Roman.” Janus’s voice, sharp and cold as ice, and it cut him to his very core. His eyes widened and he had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what he would find when he turned around. He desperately met Logan’s eyes, who shook his head, disapproval written across his face. Slowly, he turned, taking it in one at a time.
Janus, face cold and eerily impassive, eyes burning a hole through him, with how hard and sharp his gaze was. Patton, mouth open in a silent O, turning to Virgil, who was squeezing his hand as if his afterlife depended on it.
And Virgil. Virgil was shaking like a leaf, face pale and eyes wide, starting to fizzle into darkness at the edges of his being.
“Virgil I-“ He took a step forwards, eyes wide and pleading, trying to meet Virgil’s. “I didn’t mean- I’m sorry- That’s not-“ Virgil shook his head, stumbling back a step for his one forwards, arms wrapping around his middle.
“it’s fine. It’s… I g-get it, I…”
“Virgil. Please. It is alright. He was just worried.” Virgil laughed at Logan’s words, a harsh, gasping thing, that shook his thin frame harder.
“Right. Worried. Ab-out me. H-hurting you. All of y-you. And you know what? He’s right! I c-can’t control myself, I p-anic, I-“
“Darling.” He looked up at Janus, who was reaching out a beseeching hand, asking him, begging him, with his eyes to take it.
The moment seemed suspended in time.
Logan was watching him carefully, calculating odds in his head, he could see it. Roman was struggling for words, trying to find something to say, stance defensive. Patton was looking closely at him, eyes echoing Janus’s sentiment, warm and soft and kind. Janus was almost desperate, almost… afraid.
He could see it. He could see it in each of their eyes. No matter what they said, no matter how much they wanted to help him, wanted to trust him, each of them were afraid of him. Afraid of what he could do. Afraid of what he would do. That’s the only reason Patton and Janus were reaching out, the only reason Roman had stepped between him and the wraith, the only reason Logan had gathered the others to come help, the only reason Remus had let them all in.
Fear.
He was all too acquainted with fear. And for the first time, he wondered, what exactly that fear would lead them to do to him, if he lost control once more. He had the suddenly sinking feeling that he knew, that Roman, at least, wouldn’t hesitate, and Logan wouldn’t be far behind. They would do what they had to, to keep their family safe, and if it destroyed him, then that was the cost. He found he couldn’t blame them. Not when Patton and Janus were so… good.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered. Then he was gone.
…
“No!” Janus cried out, lunging forwards, but he wasn’t fast enough, his hand closed on empty air, and he spun, punching the wall with a curse, head hanging low as he tried to fight back the upwelling of emotions, the desperate crushing defeat filling his chest. “dammit.” He whispered, spinning at a hand on his shoulder.
“Dammit, Roman! He was listening, he was understanding, he was letting us in, and who are you, who are you to make him more afraid of himself than he already was? You think he doesn’t know, what he’s capable of? You think he doesn’t know what’s at stake? And you… You!” He growled, stalking forwards, not sure what he was moving towards, perhaps punching Roman in the face, but Remus caught his arm before he got there, and he hissed at him, trying to pull out of his grip.
“Janny. Don’t. It won’t fix anything. It’s not what you want.” He nearly pulls away, snarling, surprised as he finds himself folding against Remus instead, angry tears slipping down his face.
“we had him. we were so close, we had him.” He whispered, voice hoarse and drawn, as he felt Remus hug him tight.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… God, I’m sorry.” Roman, voice cracking, looking helplessly between Patton and Logan, shame and self loathing welling in his chest.
“I know. I know, kiddo. I know you’re just worried about us, and I understand. But… but you have to give him a chance. We almost had a chance.” Patton whispers the last sentence, his own tears slipping down his face. He had a feeling Virgil wouldn’t be so easy to find this time, that he’d hide away well and truly.
But at least they’d gotten through to him. At least he was thinking on it, on his relationship being unhealthy, at least he’d gotten that far. He hoped it was enough.
Inspired by This Workby@fangirltothefullest because it was so beautiful and the expressions were so great I had to do something for it.
Logan gets caught by the Dragon Witch. Roman comes to his rescue.
…
To be honest, Logan couldn’t quite remember how they’d gotten into this situation. At the moment, he couldn’t remember much of anything. His head was in a different place, numb and scrambled, and at some level he knew this was all very illogical, and if he could just think clearly, just for a moment, he would be able to break out of this nonsense fantasy.
A spike of numbing pain, as more roots coiled up his legs, wrapping around his chest and up his neck, dislodging his glasses, which caught on a branch lower down. He hated this. Hated not being able to see through the fallacies of the situation, he hated being so helpless, he hated that despite his heart telling him Roman would come for him, his mind was telling him that he wasn’t worth the trouble, that the risk in rescuing him wasn’t countered by any kind of reward.
Because surely, if Roman was coming for him, he would already have been here by now. It felt like hours, had passed. He didn’t know the last time he was able to take a breath unhindered by twisting vines and rough bark squeezing his chest, the last time he could move his arms freely, think clearly, everything was so muddled and all he could do was stupidly, foolishly pray that Roman would come for him.
“Aw, what’s the matter, little logic? Afraid your prince in shining armor won’t show?” He winced at the sweetly simpering voice, the harsh tug of his hair, followed by a sharply nailed caress of his face, that left red lined scratches across his cheek. He wanted to glare at her, to shoot back of course he was coming, and once he got here, he was going to rip her to shreds. But he couldn’t find the words.
So instead, he simply looked away, eyes on the ground, refusing to meet her piercing silver eyed stare. She laughed, a far too bright and bubbly sound, that sent shivers down his spine, because it sounded so much like Patton’s, but so much colder. A vine climbed up the branches, wrapping around his neck, too tight to be comfortable, making it harder to breath, harder still to speak. And once again, he was so sick of his words being taken. Of being left voiceless, and he hated himself even more for his weakness as he felt tears slip from his eyes, dark spots forming as they landed on the dry dirt below him. He was too numb to even pull away as she tsked, wiping away his tears, her dragon tail wrapped around the base of the tree, wings casting a shadow as she loomed over him possessively.
“Logan!” The voice was like a shockwave through his system, a brief wash of warmth that brought a flicker of clarity through the clawing despair, and for a brief moment, he managed to raise his head, to meet Roman’s eyes, before he couldn’t hold it up anymore, and it fell back against his chest. “Unhand him, you fiend! You will release Logan THIS INSTANT!” Roman roared, a fiery rage in his voice that Logan had never heard before, tinted by a dark undertone of fear. She laughed darkly, ruffling his hair as she turned, sharp teeth grinning at Roman.
“Now, now, little prince. You are in no position to make demands. You will give me what I want, or I will let the curse run its course. Your little boyfriend will make a very pretty tree, don’t you think? Cherry blossom, maybe, or perhaps lilac.” He gasped, a strange, aching pain gathering in his chest. He coughed violently, feeling blood on his lips, spitting petals out of his mouth. He could feel the gaps in the branches woven around his body closing up, squeezing tighter. No, not tighter. Assimilating him. Bark was growing over his legs, encasing them, and he let out a strangled whimper as the vine around his neck tightened, forcing his head up, forcing his gaze to meet Roman’s.
“Stop! I’ll do… I’ll do whatever you want, just stop.” Roman uttered, defeat in his voice as his shoulders slumped, his grip on his katana going from white knuckled to loose as he lowered it, embedding it into the ground and backing away. He winced as the dragon witch sauntered forwards, pulling the sword out of the ground, balancing it on the palms of her hands appraisingly.
“Such a pretty little thing. How many times, have you bested me with this weapon, I wonder?” Roman flinched as she snapped it in two, feeling as if a part of himself had broken with it. But nothing was as important as Logan, as getting Logan out of here in one piece.
As it was, he looked on the edge of passing out. His face was pale, the red of his lips standing out, the speckles of blood against them vibrant crimson. His eyes were dark and deadened, pain and fear clouding them, and he wanted nothing more than to pull him close and reassure him that everything would be fine.
“What do you want?” He bit out, anger tempered by worry and fear, as Logan struggled to breath.
“What do I want? You made me, little prince. Surely you should know already my purpose. I want to make you suffer.” She grinned, eyes flashing silver, and he raced forwards, uncaring of her laughter as she vanished, focused instead on Logan’s strangled scream.
He could feel it. He could feel his skin turning to rough bark, could feel roots wrapping around his feet, not growing up from the ground, but growing through him, tangling around his arteries and veins, clogging his bloodstream and blooming around his airway. He coughed, choking, spitting up more blood and petals, feeling it infecting his lungs, wrapping around his heart and constricting, the world spinning and blurred.
“LOGAN!” He managed to look up, to look at Roman, though he was just a blur of white and red. “Logan, hold on, I’m going to fix this, starlight, I’m getting you out.” Roman was scrabbling at the bark, trying to claw him out, but it was too late for that, Logan knew. It was inside him, it was in his blood, it was becoming a part of him, and already he was fading, shaking, he heard Roman’s sharp inhale as the bark climbed his neck, the spaces between the branches nearly all closed up, only his face still visible through the tree he was becoming.
“r-roman…” He managed, voice weak and shaking. Instantly, Roman’s hands were on his face, cupping his cheeks, stroking gentle circles against his skin.
“I’m here, starlight.”
“sorry… I…m sorry.”
“Shh, no, my love, it’s not your fault. You’re perfect, sweet pea. You’re going to be ok.” Roman murmured against his face, forehead pressing against his, until he felt the gap getting smaller, forcing Roman back. He felt the numbness creep across his face, and he took in one last shaking breath, before it covered him completely, before darkness encased him, before all light and noise and sound from the outside world was cut off.
He could hear his pulse slowing in his ears. He could feel his breath wheezing and stuttering. His mind was hazing over, his usually always turning thoughts were scattered and half formed as he felt himself melding into the branches twisted around him, felt his being becoming absorbed, one, with the tree around him, and he couldn’t even cry anymore, he was so far gone.
Distantly, he heard echoing thumps, screams, Roman no doubt beating at the tree, trying to reach him. He wished he could still see him, wished he could give him one last kiss, tell him it was alright, it wasn’t his fault, he wanted to say goodbye properly, but there was nothing for it, now. He couldn’t fight it anymore. His eyes were forced shut by the bark, glazed over with it, and he was dizzy, as the last air escaped his lungs, the tree melding into his arms, his legs, his body, until there was no separating him from the branches.
…
No.
Nononono
She’d gone too far, this time, surely she was bluffing, surely the curse would reverse itself any second, surely Logan wouldn’t… couldn’t be…
Gone.
He fell to his knees, crumpled against the dirt ground, hands curled into his hair as he howled, keening, screamed, because this hurt, this hurt more than any mere wound, this hurt more than being rent in two, this hurt a thousand times more than any other pain he had ever experienced.
It was his fault. He had unwittingly led Logan into danger, let him get snatched from right under his nose, he’d arrived too late to save him, and now he was gone.
His starlight, his moon, his galaxy, his swirling cosmos, his Logan.
He felt his fury rise, morphing his grief and pain into white hot rage, into sparking ire and an almost feral determination as he thought of Logan’s brilliant eyes, always glowing with new information, dazzling whenever anyone deigned to listen to him, debating theater and lyrics and poetry with him, they sparkled like the night sky. He remembered nights laying in the grass of the imagination, Logan carefully guiding his hand, placing the stars one by one to match Logan’s descriptions of constellations, to make it as accurate as possible, fascinated as Logan regaled him with every legend, every meaning, behind each one. He remembered Logan coming to his room, gently divorcing him from his work, ignoring his pleading for one last page, one last line, one last word, carding a hand through his hair as they curled together in bed, Logan’s soothing voice easing his mind to a standstill, calming the swirling, tenuous thoughts that clouded it, until he drifted off to sleep. He remembered going to Logan’s room and doing the same, ignoring his pleading of needing to adjust the schedule, to plot out Thomas’s day, to figure out when his meetings and appointments should be, easing the pen out of his hand, softly bringing it to his lips instead, murmuring sweet things to him until he was blushing and trying to argue against their validity, until Roman kissed him, promised him he meant every word, that he loved him, to the moon and back. Then Logan would start speaking about how far that actually was, and Roman would have him put it into more and more ridiculous units, how many busses, how many trains, how many bikes, how many pigeons, until Logan’s own mind had slowed from the focus of calculating, and they were both laughing.
Logan was his light, his world, his sun, his stars. He. Would. Not. Lose. Him.
He grabbed the snapped shards of his katana, pressing the broken pieces together, fusing them back into one with a blinding flash of golden light. He forced himself to his feet, feeling all the surging power of Thomas’s mind behind him, all the shaking, wild, untamable force of Creativity flowing through him, and shoved it all into a single thought, a single command, a single singing desire, a single, unchangeable truth, as he raised his sword, leaping into the air, aiming straight for the bark of the tree.
He was not too late. If cut open, it would free Logan. Logan would be alive.
He screamed, the sword coming down, cutting through the bark like butter, glowing with power, his eyes sparking with crimson sparks, his war cry echoing through the imagination, as he cleaved the tree in two.
It took a moment, for the dust to clear. For his senses to return to normal. He was shaking like a leaf, exhausted and drained, shaky with adrenaline, but he rushed forwards, unable to hear anything but the pounding of his own heart, as his gaze frantically swept the scene.
It was a few long moments before he placed Logan. He was held upright in place, against the inside of the tree, blending in perfectly with it. Bark covered his entire body, pinning him in place, consuming him completely. He gasped, rushing to his side, hesitantly careful as he reached out, relieved slightly as the bark easily brushed off of Logan’s face, the inch thick coating having lost all it’s life and magic when he struck it with his sword, crumbling to dust at the slightest touch.
Quickly, he tore the rest of the bark off of Logan, catching him as he fell forwards, the last of the bark keeping him upright crumbling away. He carefully brushed away the dusty remains from Logan’s face, his eyes, praying it wasn’t coating his insides as well. He couldn’t tell if he was breathing or not. He thought he could feel a weak pulse against his chest, but he wasn’t sure, and he gasped out a sob, cradling Logan tighter.
“Logan. Logan, please, please, wake up, please, sweet pea, please…” He whispered, tears tracking down his face at how still his love was, how lifeless he seemed, limp body cradled in his arms. He held his breath as Logan let out a hoarse, rasping cough, eyes barely fluttering open for a moment, before slipping shut again.
“R-ro…” Logan managed, though it was clear the effort cost him, sending him into another fit of hacking coughs. Roman pressed their foreheads together, gently adjusting him in his arms so he was a little more upright, hoping that would help.
“I’ve got you, starlight. I’ve got you. I’m taking you home, okay? Don’t worry about a thing, you just get some rest for me. I’ve got you.” He pressed a soft, gentle kiss against Logan’s lips, smiling briefly as Logan leaned into the touch, before falling completely limp once more, unconscious.
He would come back and rain down hell on the dragon witch later, possibly destroy her once and for all for this, but for now, his entire focus was on Logan, as he summoned the exit to the imagination, crossing over quickly to his room, locking the portal tightly behind him.
…
He couldn’t breathe.
It felt like his chest was too tight, like there wasn’t enough space in his lungs to inhale and exhale, and it hurt, it terribly, awfully, hurt.
He was coughing, hacking, really, a deep chested, body wracking cough, and he heaved as he felt someone support him into a sitting position, shaking from the force of the air being expelled from him, finally feeling something dislodge, spitting a mouthful of petals and wet plant innards into the bucket held before him, collapsing back against the warmth cradling him close, recognizing that scent of aspen and ink anywhere.
“roman…” He wheezed, throat raw and sore, that simple word almost sending him into another round of hacking. He could taste copper in his throat, could feel it against his lips, and he shivered, realizing he was lightly feverish, folding tighter against Roman’s embrace as he encircled him in his arms.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry, starlight. I never, never would have brought you with if I thought it would put you in danger, I won’t ever forgive myself for this, I swear, I swear nothing will ever hurt you, not ever again.” Roman murmured, voice shaking as he pressed his lips against Logan’s forehead. When he finally pulled back, Logan’s soft, exhausted eyes were looking up at him, hazed with pain and a breaking, tentative relief.
“you came. I thought you weren’t coming. I thought… I thought I’m not worth the trouble. Why would anyone risk themselves for me, why would anyone… why would you…”
“Logan, oh my Logan, my love. I will always find you. I would search for eons, I would travel to the ends of the earth, if that’s what it took to find you. I would never stop searching, not even the end of time would stop me, until I had you safely back in my arms. I love you, starlight. I love you, so incredibly much, sweet pea. I will always come for you.” He replied softly, tilting Logan’s chin up, tenderly meeting his lips for a long, endless moment.
“I thought I lost you, Logan. You nearly… and it’s all my fault. You’re hurt, and sick, and it’s all my fault.” His voice broke, tears slipping down his face as he gently cupped Logan’s cheek, rubbing softly over the bandaged scratches. “I was so scared. I was terrified, Logan, I’ve never been more afraid in my life. I would have done anything, anything she asked of me. I would have taken your place in a heartbeat, starlight, I would have let her have my crown, have my kingdom, have my life, I would have let her torture me, curse me, use me, however she pleased, as long as she let you go. I would give anything, darling dearest. I would give everything. Whatever little voice in your head that tells you otherwise is lying, and if you don’t believe me, Janus will confirm it for you.
You’re brilliant, starlight, brilliant and clever and you amaze me, every day, with how smart you are, how much you know about the world, the universe, your smile lights up the world, your laugh still makes my heart skip a beat, you are such a beautiful, kind, loving, person, Logan, and I love you. I. Love. You.” He uttered with complete conviction, lost in Logan’s beautiful eyes, surprised as Logan wrapped his arms around his neck, burying his face against his chest, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Roman didn’t say anything, simply tucked his head over Logan’s shoulder, holding him close, rubbing his back gently, only drawing back when Logan began hacking again, concern flaring at the deep, bone shaking sound, Logan upheaving more plant matter.
“thank you.” Logan whispered, curled against his chest, eyes closed, trembling, small coughs still escaping his lips every few seconds. “thank you for loving me. For b-being so patient. I know I’m not… easy… to manage. But you’re so good, to me, Roman. I haven’t earned it.” Roman brushed a hand through Logan’s hair, pressing a kiss to his head.
“you don’t have to earn my love, starlight. You have it always, freely given. Just being who you are is more than enough, Logan. There’s nothing you could do, that would make me stop loving you with all my heart. You’re not a chore for me to manage, you’re my boyfriend, and there’s nothing I would rather do, than spend time with you, be with you, argue with you, make up with you. I love you.” He pressed soft kisses to Logan’s eyelids, the tip of his nose, finally brushing his lips, each action melting Logan further into his arms, nuzzling against his chest.
“I think I may pass out once more.” Logan mumbled, feeling Roman laugh softly at his slurred confession.
“You need the rest, darling dearest. It’s alright. The effects of a curse are exhausting, especially one like that. It should fully wear off within the day, Logan, and I’ll be right here, sweet pea. I’ve got you.”
“you always do. Love you, Ro.” He managed, through a deep yawn, slipping back into darkness as he felt Roman’s arms hold him closer, knowing with absolute certainty that he was safe.
“Well, that coulda gone better.” Remus gasped out, trying to hide his shaking hands behind his back.
“What in the name of the universe did you do, Remus?” Logan asked, clearly shaken. Remus shrugged, smile trembling, eyes tired.
“I pushed him. Wanted to see what would happen. What was going on behind those deep, dark balls of gelatin in his eyeholes. Didn’t expect… that.” He muttered, flushing slightly as Logan hesitantly reached out, resting a hand on his.
“are you ok?” Remus hesitated, taking a moment to catalogue himself. The fear was already fading out, it was more the images that still flickered behind his eyes.
“Think so. Just gave me quite a good… scare.” He said, lingering on the last word. It felt odd, on his tongue. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had really truly scared him. Only Virgil, it seemed, could shake him to his core, and it was maddening that he couldn’t predict it.
“It hurt. He’s hurting. I… there was so much buildup. That kind of power doesn’t come out of nowhere, Lo. His negativity is spiraling. Growing. Someone needs to get through to him, or he’s going to be completely consumed by his own darkness. He’ll turn into a shade or a shadow person, he’ll be completely lost.” Logan’s eyes widened and his face paled.
“We need to speak to Patton and Roman immediately. We need to make a plan, we need to figure something out, we need-“
“Easy, teach. If you start panicking, everyone’ll start panicking, and that’ll make me lose what little self control I have, and no wants to be a part of that shit show.” A small smile slipped across Logan’s face as he rolled his eyes, getting to his feet before reaching a hand out to help pull Remus up. Instead, Remus took his hand, and pulled Logan back down, vanishing in a swirl of neon green and midnight blue, reappearing moments later in the living room.
“remus.” Logan said, scoldingly.
“What? It was faster, wasn’t it?” The poltergeist replied, idly bending his fingers so they laid flat against the back of his hands, before popping them back into their sockets. “Soldier boy, Daddio, JayJay, get your asses up here!” Remus yelled, and Logan rolled his eyes, sitting down in a chair, hands steepled as he thought.
“Remus, we’ve talked about the swearing.” Patton scolded, appearing on the couch, a slight frown on his face.
“Oh yes, because he always follows instructions so well.” Janus drawled, appearing a moment later, tugging at his gloves.
“It’s so much more fun to be surprising!” Remus exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of his feet, face flickering for a moment to reveal bone and muscle, dark blood and viscera. Patton shuddered, saved by Roman appearing between them, raising an eyebrow. Remus backed off quickly, scowling.
“Is it? The last surprise you got was less than pleasant.” Logan chimed in, Remus’s scowl deepening as he stalked across the room, climbing up the wall like a spider, extra tentacles emerging from his back and latching onto the ceiling, forming a swinging seat beneath him as he kicked his legs.
“Please don’t stain anything with your ectoplasm, it’s an absolute nightmare to get rid of.” Janus said, watching him idly swing, noting the strange green aura starting to swirl around him.
“What surprise? What’s wrong?” Patton asked, easily picking up on the tension radiating off of Remus, the soft fear from Logan, who hesitated.
“It’s Virgil.” Logan said quietly.
“Did he come out? Did he talk to you?” Roman asked, gaze flicking between Logan and Remus.
“Yes… and no… “
…
It was dark. It was so, so dark. And cold. So cold it burned. He was curled in on himself, swirling and sparking, folding and crashing like waves against the shore, thunder through his soul, he was falling apart, shattering into pieces, the dark eroding him piece by piece.
“Worthless.
Stupid.
Idiot.
Why do you care? Why should you? Just give in. Just let us take control. Just let us help.” The shadows whispered, circling him like panthers, fangs bared and claws sharp, ready to tear him to shreds.
“N-no. Y-you’ll hurt th-em.” He whispered, voice shaking.
“you already have. We can’t possibly do worse than you. Think about it. You pushed them all out. You hurt Remus. You scared Logan. Patton and Janus think you’re pathetic, and Roman just wants you gone. You don’t want this either. Just let us take control. You never have to feel. Never again. Don’t you want that, sweetheart?” He flinched at the soft caress of his cheek, so possessive, that term of endearment, the one He always used.
“don’t-“ He hissed at the sharp slap of his cheek, the shadows coalescing into His form, His face, leering down at him with disgust and disappointment.
“You don’t tell me what to do, Sweetheart. You’re mine. If you weren’t so stupid, maybe we wouldn’t need to have this conversation again.”
“Not him. You’re not… not real…” He gasped, frozen in place with fear as He leaned in, gripping his chin.
“I’m as real as you make me, Virgil. I have as much power as you feed me. And right now? I’m realer than you.” He whispered in Virgil’s ear, who shuddered at the cold grip on his chin, forcing him to look up into those voids of eyes. “let. Me. In.” Well. He’d never been able to refuse, had he?
He was weak, always had been. He’d never been able to say no. He never had. Because He was right. Always, always, right, and if Virgil had just been better, been good, maybe He wouldn’t have needed to remind him so often of his shortcomings. Of how much a failure he really was. The fingers gripped his chin tighter.
“Say. Yes. This will all be over.” He could feel the tears rolling down his face, even as he knew he couldn’t fight this. Wouldn’t fight this. So he opened his mouth to say yes.
“Get away from him, you fiend!” Instantly, the shadow was ripped away from him, numb surprise sparking through him for just at moment at Roman, sword drawn, stance determined, facing down the now swirling, rippling, monster of darkness.
“You’re nothing, compared to me. You think you can stand against me?” The shadows growled, their voice a screaming, howling wind storm.
“You aren’t real. You’re his fears come to life. You’re the reason he died. You’re the one who’s worthless.” Logan, stepping beside him, voice scathing, and the shadows howled louder, though they shrank just a tad.
“Kiddo.” He blinked, Patton stepping in front of him, obscuring his view of the room. “Kiddo, can you hear me?” He nodded, eyes trying to look past Patton, trying to see further into the maelstrom that was becoming his room. He could hear them whispering in his ear, still, the chorus of useless, worthless, waste, echoing in his ears.
“No. Listen to me darling. Not that thing, over there, to me. You need to come with us. You need to get out of here.” Janus, running a hand down his arm, just barely touching him enough he could feel it. “You can’t let the dark win, Virgil. Not again. It already stole your life. Don’t let it take you entirely.”
“I c-can’t. I-“ His fear spiked, and he heard Roman’s sword spark, go flying, Logan yelp, be thrown backwards, then the monstrous shadows were hovering over him, clawed hands biting into his shoulders, too many toothed mouth gaping open in a twisted grin.
“Miiiine.” It hissed, and Virgil gasped, ice flooding through him, vision blurring and fuzzing, mind going hazy, freezing over. “He’s mine. He made me. He built me. He is mine.”
“-il. Ki… ease…” the words barely slipped through the cotton filling his ears, the numbness filling his head. He knew more words were being spoken, but he couldn’t hear them.
He looked up sharply at the short gasps of pain. The monster held Patton and Janus in writhing tentacles of shadow, their ethereal forms flickering and fading. Logan was slumped against one of the bedposts, looking dazed, another tentacle around his ankle, another was wrapped around Roman’s wrists, pinning him against the wall, though he still snarled, fighting the grip.
“Virgil! Stop this!” Roman called, catching his eye, and he shook his head.
“I can’t… I c-can’t! I-I-I-“ He stuttered, voice cracking, terror making the beast grow bigger.
“kiddo. You can. You’re so… brave, sweetheart. So brave.”
That’s what broke him.
Patton. Calling him sweetheart. So different, from His cold, cruel voice. So warm, and loving and kind, even now, even in pain and with him being the one causing it, Patton was calling him brave, calling him…
Calling him…
Sweetheart.
It was like all the air was sucked out of the room. Like the calm before the storm. Like the eye of the hurricane. Then Virgil screamed.
And the shadows recoiled, the sound breaking it apart, hissing and wailing and fighting, but the scream pierced it to its core and with a final hissing scream to rival Virgil’s own, it dissipated into thin air.
So, I’m separate parts of the imagination, Roman and Remus are singing memories by matron 5 (which I definitely am not listening to right now). It slowly turns into them breaking down because they miss each other.
Maybe they find each other and comfort each other? Thats for you to decide.
(Please do not tag as RemRom -that makes me really uncomfortable- and if you do I will try to throw a small stick at you cause that’s all I’m capable of doing).
Prompts:Hmmm I would love some Logan Angst where after the date with Nico he shuts himself away from the group and this leads to Thomas life becoming a mess and him not being able to function mentally. Roman than starts to feel like it’s his fault because he insulted Logan and didn’t let him finish the schedule. Janus feels responsible because he sent Remus so unexpectedly the two sides who hate each other come together to try help Logan.
The three then have a talk about their problems Roman’s habit of using Nico as a distraction from the wedding and all the hurt he’s feeling, Janus and his habit to bring down other sides to get what he wants and Logan to hide his feelings from the others.
Overall I just want some Roloceit bonding and fluff with a mix of angst. - meltheromanstan
Hey a-small-batch-of-dragons could you write a story about Roman having narcolepsy and falling asleep with maybe Rociet or Logince. And a question do you do research before you write stories like snap or come now little prince ? Have a great day or night - mouse2004
Thank you for the reqs, friends, let’s get this angst train a’rolling.
