Everything feels too slow, except his pulse is too fast, he can feel it fluttering in his chest, and he realizes with a sinking feeling that he knows, he knows this feeling, this is how he always feels afterwards, the sedatives still running through him, but he’s still numb enough he can’t feel whatever they’ve done, though that won’t last long, now, not if he’s getting awareness back.
It must have been bad, if they decided to knock him out completely, he had an incredible tolerance for pain at this point, they haven’t put him fully under in years.
He remembers the ship. Aliens. Patton, Logan, Virgil, Janus.
But if he’s like this…
He’d been right. He’d been right, it was all a lie.
They were probably moving him out of the nice alien simulation area back into the cell, the cold, empty, icy cell, and he lets out a pathetic whimper, because he’d thought, he’d thought, he’d thought…
But of course. Of course, it was a lie, a ruse, and he’d always been just stupid enough to fall for them.
But he doesn’t hear Roman, anywhere, doesn’t feel him nearby, which is good. It means they really meant it, so early on, when they promised Roman could stay.
“Remus. Can you hear me?” Janus’s voice, and he winces, wishing it was anyone else, because he’d actually started not only trusting Janus, but liking being around him, feeling safe around him, and he doesn’t want to hear the explanation from him.
“please. Just go.” He mumbles, voice rasping. His throat is dry and burning, acid in his throat, and he barely manages even that much. “S fine. I get it. Gotta hand it to ya, you’re all incredible actors.” He hears a sharp inhale, then the bed shifts, and he feels a hand against his head, stroking his hair. He pulls away, tears slipping down his face. “don’t. if you’re gonna take this away, don’t be so nice about it.”
“Oh, darling. No one’s taking anything away. No one’s going anywhere. Do you remember, what happened?”
He furrows his brow, managing to crack open his eyes, vision blurry as he looks up at Janus.
“O-outside. S-something…” It rushes back to him, and he jolts upright, vision clearing, though his head spins. “I’m sorry! I’m s-sorry…” He trails off, falling into Janus’s open arms, somewhat surprising the naga, but he recovers quickly, cradling his head tight against him with one hand, the other supporting his back, Janus tucking his head over Remus’s shoulder, shushing softly. “I d-didn’t mean to, I d-didn’t… I’m sorry-“
“for what, darling? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I h-hit you, I almost at-acked Logan, I d-didn’t know wh-ere I was, I-“
“Remus. You protected us. You protected me. No one is mad. No one is hurt. Everyone is safe. I promise.” He feels Remus shaking against him, feels a wet spot growing against his shirt, and he holds Remus a little tighter. “you’re not back there. You got drugged, by the assailants, whom ran off in the face of a terrifyingly pissed off human.” He hears a little gasp of laughter from Remus, and smiles, pushing back his hair. “If anyone should apologize, it’s me. I was supposed to keep you safe, and instead you got hurt for my sake. Thank you, Remus.” He whispers, a bit surprised Remus hasn’t pulled away, is clinging this tightly to him.
“Roman’s okay?”
“Worried out of his mind, but otherwise unscathed. We wanted to let you wake up on your own, without all of us hovering. Figured that would only scare you more.”
“Probably a good choice. I… it got so muddled, it… what was it?”
“I don’t remember the name. Sedatives strong enough it would have wiped any of the rest of us out for days, left us completely weak and defenseless. The local authorities have tracked them down, a small smugglers ring. Saw our group, thought we were easy targets, didn’t realize you two were humans, since they’re so rare out in the galaxies. They’re being dealt with appropriately and severely. Like we said, this planet is a frequent stop for refugees. The people here don’t take kindly to anyone threatening that.” Remus finally pulls back slightly, knees to his chest.
“Will we ever just… be safe? Every time I get used to a routine, something happens, something bad. Routines are safe. I know what to expect, I know what’s going to happen when, there’s no anticipation or fear, because I know. Even… even before this, I knew the routine, knew that if I was quiet and good, they’d leave Roman alone. Knew that one day would be mind tests, the next would be physical experimentation, the next would be pain resistence, the next would be chemicals, I could prepare for the pain and the crash and the fall. I… what happens? What happens if this happens again? If I can’t pull back the little that I did? If something sets me off and I snap and forget and hurt all of you? What if I kill-“ He breaks off with a poorly stifled sob, and Janus rests a hand on his knee.
“you won’t. You’re not a monster, Remus. You’re smart and brave and resilient. And you are part of our family now, you and Roman both. And we will fight for you, just as hard as you fought every day for Roman, just as hard as you fought those smugglers for me, we will fight for you, Remus. And we won’t ever, ever give up on you.” Then Remus is back in his arms, shaking with tears, and Janus finds it impossible to hold back his own. “I promise.”
…
He’s laying outside on the grass, just off the ramp that leads into the ship. The grass tickles his arms, his legs, the smell of it heady and sweet, and he closes his eyes, just breathing in a deep, huge breath.
The sun is just starting to set, though instead of fiery oranges and pinks, the sky here is turning a deep violet and electric pink. Kinda neat, even though it does pull at his heart. He opens his eyes with a low sigh, staring up at the slowly emerging stars, the unfamiliar constellations, planets, moons. How far are they, he wonders, from Earth? He supposes Logan would know, but he’s almost afraid to ask. He’s not sure he wants to know.
“Roman? You doing ok, kiddo?” Patton asks, sitting down on the ground near him, and he takes another deep breath in and out. “you’re crying.” Patton says, softer, and he rubs his eyes surprised as they come away wet. He hadn’t noticed.
“I… don’t know. Just… look at this, Patton. It’s so huge. And we’re just…just carried along by its tide. Just lost in the oceans of darkness. I keep looking, for the North Star. It’s the guiding light, on Earth, it doesn’t move, points steadily North. The bottom of the Big Dipper. Or was it the Little Dipper? No, it musta been big dipper, that’s the one the slaves would use, when they escaped the south, to lead them to freedom. They had songs and stories and legends. They looked up at the sky, and had hope, looking up, that beacon leading them onwards. I’ve never had a North Star. And I keep… I keep looking for one, Patton, but I can’t find it. There’s nothing familiar or same or… I don’t know… I don’t know!” He cries, resting an arm across his forehead. “there’s so much out there. And I never thought I would ever have the chance to see any of it. We were going to die, there. We both knew it. Knew sooner or later, either on purpose or on accident, they’d do something irreparable and one of us would die. And one of us dying was just the same as both of us. But we didn’t. In the endless, vast, hugeness, somehow, we didn’t. What are the chances, of that? What are the chances, of you finding us, instead of some other humans, of finding anything at all? What… did we do, to deserve to be found? What do we even do, now? How…” he breaks off, pressing his palms against his eyes for a long moment, before tugging his hands through his hair, finally tilting his head to look at Patton. “how do we go on, without any North Star?”
“Kiddo…” Patton exhales, reaching out his hand, leaving it palm up on the grass, an invitation, rewarded as, after a moment, Roman reaches out, placing a palm atop his, not pulling away as Patton slowly intertwines their fingers. “you didn’t have to do anything, to deserve to be found. Because you never deserved to be taken. You never, never, deserved to be hurt or terrorized in the ways that you were. You’re right, the chances of our efforts leading us to you, in the entire universe, are so, so, small. But we found you, we found you, Roman, it doesn’t matter how or why, it just matters that we did, because you and Remus deserve so much better, you deserve the universe, Roman, and I would give it to you, if I could, I would give you the cosmos. I know, it’s overwhelming, having freedoms, having choices, having the galaxies open to you, to do anything you want, I know it feels like there’s too much, and you’re drowning in choices you don’t know how to make, you don’t feel safe making, because every choice before this was a test, made for you, to hurt you. I know it’s scary. Especially after what happened today, it’s scary. But you have us, to lean on. To help you, to support you, to just… be there. And I need you to know, if you did… if someone did take you, again, if somehow something went wrong, we would never, never stop searching for you, we would never give up on finding you, until you were safe with us again. You’re part of our family, Ro. I would do anything for you. I love you.” He says softly, worrying he’s gone overboard, as he looks at Roman’s slightly stricken face.
Then Roman moves faster than his eyes can process, throwing his arms around his neck, sobbing quietly into his shoulder. His wings flutter in surprise, then he’s wrapping his arms around Roman, his wings, blocking out the rest of the world, cradling him in soft warmth and safety, radiating out peace and love and warmth as he rubs his back, shushing him gently. “It’s ok, baby. It’ll be ok. I’ve got you.” He murmurs, feeling Roman shaking against him.
“th-thank you, g-god, Pat, th-thank you, y-y-you’re so good, y-ou’re so… thank you.”
“Of course, kiddo. Of course. I love you, you’re so good, too, Roman, you just have to let yourself believe it, let yourself see it. I can’t wait to see it, Roman, to see you and Remus start to believe in yourselves again, it’s going to be so beautiful.”
They sit like that for a long time, until the stars come out, until the sun fully sets, until Patton almost thinks Roman must have fallen asleep, his breath coming in deep and steady, his heart a steady pace against his chest, Roman relaxed and melted against him, as he strokes his back, teases through his hair, he’s never seen Roman this calm, not even in sleep. So he’s surprised when Roman shifts, eyes peeking up at him, at the stars in the sky.
“I suppose we should head inside.” Patton keeps teasing through his hair, smiling softly as Roman leans into the touch, eyes fluttering shut in pure bliss.
“We can stay out, if you want. It won’t get too cold out here, and I stay plenty warm, no matter the weather.” Roman nods, settling back against him, letting out a huge yawn, taking in a deep breath.
“M’kay. If you’re sure, Pat.” He murmurs, snuggling tighter against him. he chuckles, pulling his wings in tighter around the sleepy human.
“I am, baby.”
“Pat?”
“yes, sweetie?” He answers, tucking his hair back.
“love you.” He nearly cries, but manages to stifle it, not willing to risk waking Roman, who desperately needs the sleep, they both do, to heal properly. So he brushes a gentle kiss across his forehead, smile huge and eyes wet, as he watches Roman sleep soundly in his arms.
He was sore. God, he was sore. Not that it was unusual for him to be sore. He got into all kinds of mischief and life-threatening scenarios every day. His imagination wasn’t nearly as tame as Roman’s usually was, blood and guts and death, oh my!
It wasn’t an uncommon sight, him bloodied and staggering down the hall to Janus’s room, or the living room, grin wide through red stained teeth, needing help patching himself up. Janus always grumbled and made a fuss about it, but with his extra arms he was fast, and always tenderly gentle, scolding him good naturedly the whole time.
Once Virgil would have helped as well. He was almost better at it than Janus, his fight or flight making him eerily good at assessing injuries, which ones were serious, which ones needed cleaning, which ones needed tending to first. But more than that, he often stopped Remus before he went that far to begin with, appearing in the shadows of the imagination and dragging him home, or teaming up with him to defeat the day’s monster, making sure they both stayed relatively safe.
Once he might have had Roman, watching his back, moving together as one, not needing to speak to understand the other’s movements. It was a well-rehearsed dance, one that was more familiar than breathing, one that brought to the surface a strange sort of quiet, in his mind, a soft silence reigning for a few precious hours, afterwards.
But they had left. And he was used to pain. Pain of dislocated limbs, the sting of disinfecting wipes, the bubble of iodine, the wheeze of cracked ribs. Once Roman would have healed him with a snap of his fingers. Once Virgil would have stopped him from getting hurt in the first place. But now there was only Janus, to piece him back together after.
And then the wedding happened.
And Thomas, more importantly, Patton, admitted that Janus was right. That their thinking was too black and white, that deception wasn’t everything Janus was, that his advice and opinions mattered. He would have loved to lurk behind the television and watch, but he had other business to attend to.
That business being Virgil.
He’d slowly creaked open the door, knocking softly on the door frame to alert Virgil to his presence. Now was not the time to scare the storm cloud. Virgil was already scared enough as it was.
“go away.” Came the muffled response, tempest tongue tinging it dark and growling, the shadows of the room darker than ever, and if he were anyone else, standing in there for more than a minute would have him corrupted beyond repair.
But he was Remus, intrusive thoughts, dark creativity, and anything the room could show him he’d already imagined himself, and though it was unpleasant, he knew they didn’t matter. Because Virgil was curled up under a pile of blankets, his shaking visible even from the doorway, the fear strong and visceral.
“Easy, storm cloud. It’s just me.” He murmured, stepping inside and letting the door close shut behind him.
“Oh goodie. All my worries are soothed.” Virgil snarked, voice trembling, and Remus let out a small huff, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He couldn’t tell exactly what was going on, out there with Thomas, but he could feel the negativity roiling out from the living room, and knew Virgil was overwhelmed, trying to process it all, absorb it all, disperse it all. They were overwhelming him, and no one had even deigned to check on him, choosing to ignore him.
Thomas had chosen to ignore him. Remus knew that was hurting Virgil the most. That he hadn’t been called. That they hadn’t wanted him up there. That he had told the truth, bared his soul, and now Thomas wouldn’t even look towards his spot on the stairs. Carefully, Remus laid a hand atop the lump under the blankets, stroking his thumb in small, grounding circles, nothing more than a light touch. Virgil shuddered, but didn’t shift away.
“why are you here? Shouldn’t you be using this time to wreak havoc, or something?” He laughed again, a soft, warm sound, not his usual cackle. The kind of laugh only Janus and, once, Virgil, were privy to.
“I could. But even I know that would only make everything worse, and you’re already dealing with enough bullshit right now. I don’t need to add to the pancake pile of misery.” He stilled as the blankets shifted slightly, Virgil’s dark eyes peeking up at him, eyeshadow streaking down his face, more raccoon like than ever. “Let me help, kit?” He asked softly, Virgil’s eyes searching his for a long moment, before he nodded minutely, shifting to make room for Remus.
He didn’t hesitate. He slipped under the covers, Virgil squeaking as he slid in behind him, pulling Virgil onto him, his head resting on Remus’s chest, their legs tangled around each other, Remus’s head resting atop Virgil’s as he gently ran his hands up and down Virgil’s arms to ground him, humming softly, slowly absorbing and siphoning some of the anxiety and fear and negativity from Virgil, into himself. Virgil let out a soft sound, halfway between a whimper and a sigh, and he shushed him, pressing a kiss to his head.
“Y’know you don’t hav ‘t Rem.” Virgil slurred, eyelids drooping closed as the stress leaked out of him, his anxiety returning to normal levels as Remus took the extra.
“It’s ok, kit. I can handle it. You’ve already done enough, for today. Later I’ll go up there and give them a piece of my mind, for making you so miserable.” He smiled at Virgil’s small laugh, the emo pressing closer to him, and Remus wrapped his arms around Virgil, holding him carefully close. “Get some sleep, Vee. I’ve got you.”
“m’kay. Ree? ‘M sorry. I… missed you.”
…
That was when it had started. It was small, at first, and he attributed it to his usual bumps and bruises, a sore back was rather tame compared to what he usually dealt with, of course. Still, he took it slow that day, choosing to rabbit hole down youtube, instead of wreak his usual havoc. He was still coming down from the effects of all the anxiety he’d absorbed in Virgil’s room, after all, and he didn’t want his creations getting away from him and doing actual harm elsewhere.
But the pain only grew.
Soon, his whole back was sensitive and tender to the touch. It hurt to bend, to stand, to move, to stretch. Even resting against the couch was a no go, any kind of pressure on it hurt like hell, made him bite his lip to contain the hiss trying to escape his lips.
But he suffered through it in silence. Sometimes, he thought Janus knew something was wrong, his gaze lingered on Remus for a moment too long, he watched a little too closely as he shifted so his back wasn’t against the back of his chair, a small wince when he laughed, a forced smile here and there, Janus could see through them all, but he didn’t ask.
Virgil was almost as bad. He’d lived with them, after all, and he was almost as sharp as Janus. After the wedding, he’d been visiting more often, which meant at all, really, but once a week turned into near daily, as Remus made sure to make him feel welcome, and Janus started warming back up to Virgil, started to close the icy abyss between them.
It was Virgil who apologized first, to Janus. It was stuttering and slow, and a bit rambling and incoherent, but that didn’t matter. Janus knew what he was trying to say, could feel the sincerity of it, and before Virgil had even finished, he’d swept him up into a hug, using all of his arms, Virgil melting against him with a quiet sob, repeating the same soft words he’d said to Remus after the wedding for Janus.
“I missed you.”
…
Objectively, Remus knew the others had wings. The light sides, that is. They didn’t appear in the videos, of course, only actually manifesting in the mindscape itself. He knew Roman’s were delicate monarch butterfly wings that he usually kept folded carefully against his back like a cape, and that he loved their look but hated how fragile they were, always having to be careful not to rip the paper-thin membranes. A hint towards the fact that Roman wasn’t as strong as he said he was, that he was, in fact, easily broken. He’d been allowed to feel them, once, it was like touching a cloud, soft dust coming away on his fingers in oranges and blacks, and no matter how much they had fought and scuffled in the imagination he had never once even dreamed of going after Roman’s wings, though they were his obvious weak spot. One clean shot of an arrow, one stab of a spear, one slash of a sword, would be all it took, but despite what they all thought, he did have some morals, and he would rather kill himself than steal flight from Roman. So, wings? Off. Limits.
Patton’s wings were the incredibly soft looking, the fluffy wings of a mourning dove. Soft tan and black speckled, with a smooth cream underside, he roosted the most of all of them, fluffing up and resettling his feathers frequently, a self-soothing habit that made the moral side even more adorable than he already looked.
Logan’s were the smooth, almost blue black and white speckled sharp wings of a peregrine falcon. He usually kept his primly tucked against his back, though if you sat near him, sooner or later they would stretch out, resting against whoever was near. He’d never admit it, but he loved it when the others stroked his feathers, preened them, while he read or studied or planned out a schedule. It helped focus him, and he found that touch easier to reach out and ask for than hugs or other kinds of touch.
And Virgil. Virgil, whom had switched sides, had grown so much, had started letting them back into his life, had earned his wings through his hard work, his steady determination, through his acceptance. And they were beautiful.
He complained about them, of course, more often than not, but Remus could see through the grumbling protests, to the pride underneath. Because he’d gained the magnificent wings of a Scarlet Macaw. They were a brilliant red, green, yellow, blue rainbow, and spread the widest of any of the side’s wings, the most powerful in flight, though Logan’s were, of course, the fastest.
He’d been so self-conscious of them, at first. They’d grown in after the accepting anxiety videos, making Logan theorize that they were earned when a side was truly accepted. He’d avoided their calls for three days, after they came in, terrified out of his mind, before he couldn’t resist the pull of the summons anymore. But they’d all fawned over them, asking if he knew how to care for them, patiently teaching him how to groom them, broaching the topic of letting someone else help. It took a lot of time before he let that happen, before he trusted any of them enough to even come near his wings, to stop flinching whenever anyone reached towards him, pressing them tighter than was healthy against his back more often than not, cramping them painfully. But he got there.
He wasn’t all that surprised, even, when Janus came out of his room, not long after the whole wedding debacle part two, electric boogaloo, swearing up a storm, furious as all hell, dark black wings in disarray, just a splash of vibrant yellow marking the top of his coverts.
“Yellow headed blackbird. Nice.” He commented idly, Janus simply giving him a withering stare, before pulling on his gloves and heading upstairs, no doubt to rip into the light sides, not that they could change it back. It was the mindscape’s decision, and there was no going back. At least Virgil would commiserate. “At least they go with your theme!” He called, laughing as he heard the door slam.
…
In retrospect, he was an idiot.
To be fair, he was always an idiot. He was sure the others would argue against that statement, which made a soft, fuzzy feeling grow in his chest, that nearly numbed some of the excruciating agony wracking his body.
He’d been laying on his stomach, chin propped up on his hands, idly playing with some new software on his laptop. It used the camera on the computer to register where your eyes were looking at the screen, and used his eyes as the pen to draw. It was a good way to keep himself distracted, it took a lot of focus, but he’d gotten sucked in pretty quickly, excited at the prospect of trying out new styles and techniques.
So, he didn’t notice, at first, the now normal ache that had been going on for the better part of two months, starting to consolidate into lines of pain on his back. He gasped at a sudden shock of fiery heat, momentarily breathless. He moved to sit up, to try and grab a heating pack, or the heated blanket he’d snatched from Janus, which had seemed to help, but the movement sent another shock of heart rending agony through his chest, and he fell back to his stomach on the bed, hands fisting the blankets as wave after wave of piercing, soul shattering, mind numbing torment wrenched through his marrow.
It was fine, it was fine, it was manageable, he could handle this, he’d had worse, he could deal with this, figure out the rest later.
It felt like his back was aflame. He could feel sticky wetness soaking his shirt. He could feel his muscles pulsing and pounding, could taste copper in his throat, could hear his pulse in his ears, and he realized distantly he was screaming, unable to stop, tears leaking down his face, all he was aware of, all he could feel, was the lightning tracing itself down his back, burning brands into his shoulders, like he’d been mauled by a dragon, like burning, breaking, pulsing, pounding, rushing, breaking, desperate agony.
With one final pulse of flaming excruciation, he felt his back split open, the pain recedes slightly, gasping in air as his scream died on his lips, shaking from the force of his desperate, gasping sobs.
He heard footsteps pounding down the hall. Heard his door slam open, but he couldn’t look up, his knuckles white against the blanket, his teeth grinding so hard he was surprised they hadn’t already turned to nubs, and he let out a sharp, short yowling gasp as someone touched his back, trying to flinch away, the movement sending black spots across his vision. He felt a soft touch against his forehead, cupping his cheek, and he managed to blink his vision clear, surprised to see Patton’s pale face, eyes huge behind his glasses.
“hey… da…d” He managed weakly, closing his eyes against a sudden muscle contraction, barely stifling his scream to a whimper, unable to even joke as he normally would.
“Remus. We are going to help. What happened?” Logan asked, and he gasped in another breath to try and steady himself.
“Dunno know, f-or once. W-was just… dr-awing. Been s-ore, two m-onths.” He answered, unable to stifle a cry as Logan attempted to move his shirt. “Pl-ease. Hurts, please…” He didn’t know what he was asking, exactly, just that he needed it to stop, he couldn’t think, it just had to stop!
“Hey. It’s gonna be ok, ok? Just… Logan’s gonna take care of you. It’s gonna hurt, but he’s helping, ok?” Virgil, kneeling on the bed before him, covering his clenched fists with his hands, gently rubbing circles on them, pressing their foreheads together. “it’ll be ok.” Then Logan pulled up his shirt, and he screamed, blacking out.
…
“Oh. Oh Remus.” Roman gasped, face paling as he took in the red that covered his back, the two deep, pulsing slits on either side of his back, running from his shoulder blades to the base of his back.
“what… what is this?” Janus asked quietly, eyes wide, Remus’s scream still ringing in his ears. He’d never, never heard Remus sound like that, scream like that, a true, piercing, pained scream.
“two months… that was… that was the wedding. When… when Thomas accepted the dark parts of the mind.” Virgil said softly, not moving from his place close to Remus, not willing to let go.
“it’s his wings. Lo, it’s his wings! They didn’t… they must not have formed right. They’re stuck.” Patton, voice shaking and horrified. “they’re trying to get out.” Logan inhaled sharply. He could see it now, the new muscles moving and shifting underneath the skin, the wing joints struggling to free the new appendages, pulling at the rest of his skin, making the slits wider.
“I need to manually free them, or there may be permanent damage to both his wings and his spine. It’s not going to be pleasant. Patton, can you go heat up some water and bring me some soft towels? Roman, go get the first aid kit from under the sink. We’ll need the bandages.” They both complied with a lingering look back at Remus, who was trembling, moaning softly in his uneasy unconsciousness.
“What do you need from me, Logan?” Janus asked, eyes meeting Logan’s, who adjusted his glasses.
“Help hold him down? I don’t know if he has the strength for it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to thrash or lash out. I certainly wouldn’t underestimate it from him.”
“I’ve got his arms.” Virgil said, startling them both. They hadn’t realized he was paying attention. Logan nodded sharply, and Janus climbed onto the bed, pinning down Remus’s legs. Logan pulled on latex gloves, taking a large breath, before carefully reaching into the leftmost slit.
Remus did thrash weakly, falling still after only a moment, though soft whimpers escaped his lips, breath gasping and stuttering, Virgil ceaselessly murmuring to him, trying to convey safety. Slowly, Logan navigated the crumpled wing out into the open, feathers matted and sticky with blood. The other was a bit trickier, it seemed to be caught on something, and he winced as he had to painfully wrench it to get it out, concern growing as Remus didn’t react to the movement, even his whimpers ceasing.
“Good. That went well.” Logan mumbled, looking up as Roman and Patton reappeared in the doorway, faces paling at the bloodied wings. “It’s not as bad as it looks. I hope.” Only Janus and Virgil caught those two mumbled words, as Logan ushered the two over.
“Each of you take a wing. We need to stretch them out to their full length to try and get circulation going. Cleaning them thoroughly with the warm washcloths and water should also help in that department. Once we get all the viscera off, we can work on grooming. I’m going to attempt to clean his back and asses the total damage to it, I expect he’ll need stiches up and down his back, once we get the bleeding staunched.” Logan explained, already dabbing at Remus’s back with the cloth, relieved to find most of the bleeding had already stopped, it was mostly dried blood coating his back.
“Virgil. You don’t have to keep going.” Janus said softly, catching Roman’s attention, who was working on Remus’s right wing.
“I do. I… all the times, he’s helped me, I have to at least do this.” Virgil answered, eyes closed, a thin sheen of sweat across his forehead.
“what do you mean? What are you doing?” Patton asked, not looking up from his work.
“He’s absorbing Remus’s pain. Taking it on himself so Remus doesn’t feel it. Remus can do the same, and often did, helping when Virgil’s anxiety was at unsustainable levels.” Janus explained, pushing back his hair before replacing his hat.
“Virgil-“
“I’m fine, ok? He’s the one who needs help right now.” He snapped, the room falling into a tense, focused silence as they all worked, carefully dabbing, sewing, straightening, trying to get his wings into any semblance of normalcy.
Virgil just prayed that they’d still be usable. Two months. Two months, it must have hurt like a son of a bitch, and Remus hadn’t said anything! He was supposed to be the observant one, the worry wart, he was supposed to expect things to go wrong and keep an eye out for when they did. He should have known, should have realized, after Janus got his, that of course Remus wouldn’t be far behind. Especially after he’d helped him, when no one else had and he knew, knew, in his soul, that Remus helping him that day was what shifted everything. It was his fault, Remus was like this because of him.
“It isn’t your fault, Vee.” Janus murmured, sitting down beside him, setting his gloves aside. “I knew something was wrong, I just didn’t think it was this severe. He hid it well.”
“He always does. He’s an actor, remember?” Virgil mumbled back, letting himself lean back into Janus’s embrace, letting the silent tears slip down his face.
“We’re finished.” Logan said, wiping sweat away from his brow, cleaning up the washcloths and repacking the first aid kit, leaving it tucked under Remus’s bed. “I’ve sutured and bandaged his back, and it should heal up nicely, given time. His wings will need daily stretching, it may be hard for him to flex them to their full length on his own, given their extensive cramping, so we may need to help him hold them there. But the overall condition of the wings themselves is encouraging. Given time, he should be able to fly and they should have no lasting permanent damage.” Patton let out a deep sigh, sinking to the floor in relief, arms wrapped around his knees. Roman sunk down beside him, pulling him into a hug, Patton wrapping his wings around the both of them.
“Thank you, Logan.” Janus said softly, teasing his fingers through Virgil’s rainbowed feathers, feeling him melt against him with a shudder.
“Of course. I would suggest we all go get some rest. I would expect him to stay sleeping for quite a while, given the amount his body needs to heal. I’ll check on him this evening, to change his bandages, but he should be alright. Virgil, you can stop, now. He should be in a relatively minimal amount of pain, now.” Logan added, shooting a quick look at Virgil that held an entire lecture, and Virgil sighed, letting go, slumping further against Janus at the exhaustion washing over him.
“alright. Let’s go, Pat. I’ll keep you company.” Roman helped Patton to his feet, hesitating a moment, stroking Remus’s new wings gently. “Get well soon, Rem. I can’t wait to fly with you.” He murmured, smiling once at the others as he departed with Patton in tow.
“I’ll be going as well. I know there’s no use in trying to convince either of you to leave, though I would encourage you both to try and get some sleep as well, especially you, Virgil.” Logan said, nodding sharply once in farewell, closing the door behind him.
“They are stunning. I expect he’ll be pleasantly surprised, at how they turned out.” Janus mumbled against Virgil’s back.
“We match, kinda. He’ll never let me hear the end of it.” Virgil replied, smiling as he felt Janus’s laugh against his back.
They were beautiful. They shimmered like gemstones, sparkling and shifting iridescence. They started off a sparkling amber, before fading into a soft yellow, then glimmering green, which shifted into vibrant reds, bright oranges, deep blues, at the slightest shift of the light. They were relatively small, compared to the other’s wings, but that was natural. They were easily recognizable as hummingbird wings, rather fitting for the ever-energetic chaotic side. Logan had carefully shifted them so they were tucked against Remus’s back, in the position that would cause as little discomfort as possible, though no matter what he did, they were going to ache a bit.
“He’s going to be ok, Vee.” Janus murmured, wrapping his wings around Virgil, cocooning him in dark softness and warmth, something that never failed to put Virgil at ease, and soon enough, he was drifting off. Janus yawned himself, leaning back against the headboard of the bed, knowing he’d regret falling asleep like this in the morning, but he couldn’t help it as his eyes drifted shut.
…
He was sore. But less sore than he’d been in weeks. He shifted, wincing at the dull ache that came with it, before realizing he felt something soft and light against his back, against his skin. He knew, before even opening his eyes, he knew.
He should have figured it out sooner. Should have realized, and maybe he had, but he’d hoped he was wrong, been in denial, because why would he have gained wings? He hadn’t done a thing to earn them, he didn’t deserve them, maybe he should just cut them off himself, before the others saw them and started asking questions.
“Remus.” Well shit. There went that plan. He managed to crack his eyes open, looking up at the slightly blurry face of Janus. “You do deserve them. You have earned them. Everyone was worried about you.” He winced, Janus always could tell just what he was thinking. “only when you’re lying, to yourself or to others. Which you are doing now.”
“I’m not. I don’t deserve them, they’re probably horrible anyway, ugly and twisted and unusable and good for nothing, just like me.” He mumbled, looking away as he felt Virgil take his hand.
“They’re beautiful, Ree. I promise, they’re none of those things. Logan said you’ll need to stretch them and build up strength, but you’ll be flying in no time. Take a look, yeah?” He agreed grumblingly, letting them help him to sit up, legs dangling off the side of the bed. Carefully, Virgil grabbed hold of one of the wings and stretched it out to its full length, Remus’s breath catching as he stared, incredulous. Slowly, he reached out, running a hand through them, marveling at their softness.
“I’m gonna let go. Try and hold it here, okay?” Virgil asked, and he nodded. Virgil let go, and for a moment, it stayed extended, before it slowly curled against his back. With a small shake, Remus ruffled and resettled them, wincing at the tug moving them caused.
“That’s good, Ree. That’s really good.”
“I… I’m really gonna be able to fly?” Remus asked, voice small and almost afraid, and instantly, Virgil wrapped him in a hug, letting Remus tuck his head against his shoulder.
“Yes. We’re all going to help teach you, help take care of them, help take care of you, and we’re all going to be there for your first flight. I promise.” Janus joined in, hugging Remus from behind, careful of his wings, a steady weight against his back.
“You’re going to be a magnificent terror of the skies, Remus.” He let out a small laugh at that, hiccupping on a sob that escaped his lips instead, as he pressed tight into his best friends’ arms, both of them murmuring reassurances and encouragements and compliments, and he wouldn’t want to be anywhere, anywhere else.
Robin!Dick & Batmom (AFAB!Reader). Even when he was heavily injured, all Dick could think about is how mad his mother would be.
God, oh god, Dick was on his back, face facing up where he could see some stars littered across the dark blue ink of the sky through his blurry gaze. The pain on his side was hurting so bad, it probably a large gash. Mom’s gonna be so mad, he thought.
He might have been a little reckless this time–maybe ‘a little’ didn’t cut it. He screwed up, big time and his mom was not going to be happy with this. The first time he officially became Robin he had promised that he would be super careful, even making a pinky promise and said promise was also hung on his walls in a form of a handmade poster they did together.
His eyes were so heavy, his head was pounding and the buzzing–someone talking?–in his earpiece didn’t help with the pain either.
He should’ve apologized, she was just worried. His mom was right when she said he didn’t look well. He wasn’t. He had a fever, not too bad until it could make him lose his focus but she said it was better to not take any risks.
“I can’t risk to lose you,” she had said, the pain in her beautiful eyes were visible and the way her hands were clasped across her chest as if to soothe her clenching heart was a dead giveaway of what she was feeling. “You’re sick so please, don’t push yourself too hard.”
“I’m not,” he insisted, fixing the utility belt with a satisfying snap before he could reach for it though, her hand had grabbed it first, clutching it to her chest.
“No,” she sternly said, eyebrows knotting as she stared at him even then her eyes still held so much motherly affection towards him. It reminded him so much of his own biological mother it actually pained him. He remembered that she was also this stubborn when it came to his safety. “Go back to rest, Richard Grayson-Wayne.”
Then he snapped. His eyes blazing with anger, he wasn’t sure why he was mad for but before he could stop it, his mouth already forming the hurtful words.
“Shut up,” he wasn’t screaming, no, he wasn’t that much of a screamer when he was mad. His voice was steady, stern and it made everything two times more heartbreaking. He emphasized every word, pointing a gloved finger at her, “you are notmy mother. You are just someone who Bruce happens to be married with and becomes an adoptivemother. You don’t have to pity me, Mrs. [name]. I don’t need to be pitied.”
He spat out her name like it was poison.
With that he snatched his mask, pretending to be oblivious to the tears running down her delicate face like a waterfall as he walked out of his room, each fat drops fell and left dark spots on her favorite shirt, a blue shirt with little silhouette of flying robins across the chest area, they bought together on a shopping spree with an unfortunate Bruce.
When he opened his eyes, the view of stars above had been replaced by her crying face, a mask around her eyes did nothing to cover her eyes just plain mask without the lenses like his, the moon looked like it was right behind her head and if his teacher asked him what he would describe her as he’d answer an angel, she always had been even when the hoodie covered her beautiful hair to conceal her identity from the world. She seemed so real too, he could almost feel those fat drops of tears falling onto his face.
“Oh my baby,” he heard her sweet, breathy voice cooed as he felt his body being lifted up then his head was on her lap, he grunted in pain when her hands pressed against the gash on his side to stop the blood. He wasn’t imagining after all.
“It hu–ts,” he croaked, he didn’t cry for her sake but he couldn’t help the little complaint in his hoarse throat. “Why… a-you here?” geez, he couldn’t even talk like a proper human.
“Shh, I’m here for you,” she hushed, pressing her soft, quivering lips against his forehead. Her salty tears stung the little scratches on his face yet he didn’t complain he needed her comfort. “Don’t speak yet, you’re bleeding so much, baby. There’s so much blood, I can’t–Batman is going to be here soon. Keep your eyes open, yeah, for me? I’m sorry if I have been such a bad mother figure,” no, you are not, he wanted to say but his mouth only parted stupidly. She continued, “I promise to do better,”–you don’t need to–“please, hang in there. You don’t have to call me mom I don’t care just please, please, my strong little bird. Hang in there.”
She would always be his mom, he needed to get better and apologize but for now, he would comfort her.
His hand shakily lifted up, weakly cupping her cheek as he flashed the most reassuring grin he could muster in his state anyway at her. The pain kept him focused, the familiar revving of an engine was heard then.
“He’s here, thank god–” she sounded devastated and relieved at the same time, “Batman! Hurry up, please!”
He was lifted back up again by much stronger arms and his body lightly shook as he was carried away from the scene. He watched her as she followed, wiping her tears with a relieved smile.
“You will be fine, Robin,” Batman’s deeper voice soothed. He too was worried, Dick guessed. “Just so you know, a punishment from Alfred is waiting as soon as you recovered.”
Oh, how much Dick wanted to groan in protest right now.
Summary:Jimin is missing his wife. He is writing her a love letter for her birthday. She will be happy, won’t she? Jimin wished he could see her, but he can’t.
Genre: fluff and angst
Warnings: mentions of death, mental health
Rating:PG-15
Word count: 1.3 K+
A/N:Hello again everyone! I have been trying to write the next chapter for Dwindling Healings, but I am not able to. Till then please enjoy the one-shots and drabbles I’m putting out. I am thankful to Ashley @moonleeai and Natasha @queentiti72from@bangtanwritershq who beta read the story for me.
This is for the square “Love Letters” for the @bangtanwritingbingo spring event, That thing you do. I hope you enjoy the story.
~~~
Jimin sat on his bed with a pen and beautiful peach colored paper again. Your favorite color. He smiled to himself as he looked out of the grilled window. The sky was in a beautiful hue of orange, pink and purple, just like you liked it. How many letters would it be by today? Were you not missing him like he missed you? He sat in silence for a while before writing…
Decided to put my Paul Higgs story on the backburner so I can have more fun with it, and wrote a wee little epilogue for this week’s Nanda and Jameson showcase instead!
CW: Pet whump, intimate whumper, internal injuries, injured whumpee, creepy comfort, some brief dubcon references, dehumanizing/degrading language, Nanda is kind of a possessive creep, but also this is pretty soft? They’re so weird. Just a little epilogue, of sorts.
-
The pet’s eyes narrow as he watches Nanda enter the room. He’s weighted down under heavy blankets, layers that keep the air around his body warm, working with the painkillers to keep him loose-limbed and languid, barely able to move.
Not that he wants to. Every slight shift sends a thrill of pain up his spine from somewhere deep inside of him. Even taking too deep a breath brings to brief, blurry life the aches and pains he’s littered with. It breaks through the wall constructed by the drugs that hold him, fuzzy and protected from the awful ache of his own body.
The odd, unpleasant medic is gone – with his businesslike invading fingers, his way of causing pain without any method of making it good,his flat stare as he worked. His pet is gone, too, the Platonic who had come out of shock only to cry until Arvid took him in his arms and whispered to him, the pet nodding and nodding like a puppet on a string, his sobs turning to sniffles and then to whispers in return.
He had never looked at the pet, not once. The other pet had treated him like he’s invisible, like the others always treat the Romantics, but at least it’s better than treating him like he’s a lying little snitch.
Eventually, they’d gone, with Arvid shoving a bottle of rattling pills into Nanda’s hand and giving him timing and dosage the pet couldn’t overhear. He doesn’t know if he’s being given too much or not enough.
Summary: Time travel is always a bit unpredictable, and you’re never totally sure where you’re gonna end up. Travelling with the Doctor had made you prepare for many scenarios, but never one where his future self would be the one to declare that he adores you, before your own Doctor could.
Meeting the Doctor had been lifechanging. And life- saving , considering you’d most likely be dead if he hadn’t showed up when he did. That first wacky adventure had led to so many more, and you wouldn’t change it for the world. The trips amongst the stars was definitely something you couldn’t imagine yourself living without now. And your travelling buddy, oh that man. Or that alien , to be correct. You had found the thought funny at first - a time travelling alien who was somehow enamoured with humans and all their silly little habits. His overwhelming enthusiasm about everything human even made you appreciate your fellow humans a little more.
The Doctor was truly amazing. Everywhere he went, he explored with a sense of wonder and challenged any danger head on - willing to risk his own life multiple times in order to save others. But it was also the small things that made you so fond of him. It was the way he carried himself, confident yet somehow one of the most clumsy people you had ever met. The warm tone of his voice, all his small french phrases, his hugs. It filled you with feelings you shouldn’t have, for many reasons. The Doctor was busy with this life of travelling, he would live much longer than you ever would, and then there was you. No matter how many times the Doctor had exclaimed that you were brilliant, no matter how enthusiastically he claimed it, you couldn’t believe it would ever be enough to rival all of that which he could have instead. You didn’t want to look down on yourself, anybody back on earth would be lucky to have you, but what hope did you have with someone who could have anyone in the entirety of space and time - and already had an incredible amount of wannabe-flirts. It pained you to keep such a tight lid on your feelings, but you dared not do anything else. You would suffocate the urge to kiss him when he babbled on about something you could only hope to ever understand, you’d keep your lovesick thoughts to yourself when he complimented you. There was too much to lose to ever let him know.
‘’Oh, (y/n), this one you’ll love! The Market Festival of Azitora 5! It’s a tradition that every 40th year, merchants from all sorts of different galaxies bring their most precious and interesting goods, and meet at this planet. It’s always very crowded, because everyone wants to see what interesting goods the merchants have brought with them from the corners of the universe, and there’s even a competition, where the merchant with the most special item gets a prize! And of course, you can’t forget…’’ The Doctor rambled on, as he circled the Tardis’ control panel, pushing buttons and pulling levers with little effort. You had tuned out the Doctor’s voice, and stared longingly at his animated form instead. You had to be careful that he didn’t catch you in the act, but you couldn’t help but let yourself indulge in moments like this.
‘’(y/n)?’’
You blinked, before quickly snapping out of your trance and answering the Doctor, who was now looking at you with an almost unsure gaze, his bushy eyebrows knitted in concern, an unknown emotion swimming in his brown eyes, ‘’Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry Doctor, I guess I zoned out a little bit. I’m just a little tired, went to bed late last night.’’ You were rambling, flustered, and you knew it must have been obvious. Luckily, the Doctor seemed content with having your full attention now, beckoning you to his side as he opened the door of the Tardis with his signature ‘’Allons-y!’’, before dragging you out into the market of Azitora 5 with him.
‘’Now, feel more than free to have a look around, but don’t let yourself get talked into buying something strange! And by strange, I mean anything that might threaten your life!’’ He said, as he mingled into the huge crowd, with you struggling to follow behind him.
‘’But Doc, how am I supposed to know? I’ve never seen any of this stuff before!’’ You counterpointed. At that, he stopped and turned around to look at you.
‘’Well… You’re right. I guess we better just stick together then, eh?’’ He asked with a light laugh, his varm fingers enclosing around your hand, squeezing it softly, before pulling you to his side. The butterflies in your stomach would not settle down, even after he shifted his attention to the surrounding stalls that you passed, your hand gripped tightly in his, rubbing his thumb over your skin gently every so often.
The next few hours were spent with the Doctor dragging you to nearly every stall to have a look (Obviously not nearly all of them, but it sure felt like it.) Every so once in a while, the Doctor would grab an item and show it off to you, claiming to have seen it many times before on his travels. The merchants weren’t too happy with this, and you found yourself dragging the Doctor away before they could get too agitated. That’s how you found yourself in an arena of sorts, the seats slowly being filled by the other visitors of the festival.
‘’What is this place? Why are they all sitting down?’’ You inquired.
‘’Oh! You remember that contest I mentioned? Well, this is where it happens. Now, quickly, let’s find a seat before they’re all taken.’’ He tugged you after him, as he sprinted up to the closest available seats. Your side pressed against his, making your skin burn beneath your clothes. It was almost painful. You noticed that his hand had yet to let go of yours, and when you tried to loosen your grip, he intertwined your fingers with his. Heat rushed to your cheeks, and you thanked whatever was out there, that the Doctor was too busy looking around the arena to notice the state of you.
‘’Any moment now, the merchants will go to the middle of the arena, one by one, and show off their item.’’ He let out a chuckle, ‘’This part of the festival is always a riot. One time, one of the merchants had brought a willowplik with her, and the problem was, that willowpliks aren’t very fond of crowds, so it started spewing nasty goo everywhere. That poor merchant wasn’t even aware that it could do that. Oh lord, the smell. It was so bad.’’ You couldn’t help but join in his laughter, the image of people fleeing the area in a panic to avoid some smelly goo was enough to make you forget your lovesick infatuation for just a moment.
Even with the Tardis translating everything the merchants said, you were grateful that the Doctor still took the time to explain the items they had brought in terms that you could understand. At some point, an alien took the stage, with a small cube in their hands. Their four blue fingers gripped it tightly in their hands, before raising it up into the air to show it off. It just looked like a grey metallic cube, but it lit up with blue lines when the alien pressed at a specific point.
The Doctor let out a whistle, ‘’Hard to believe they let one of those on the planet.’’
‘’One of those what? Is it something dangerous they’ve brought?’’ You tensed. Surely they wouldn’t allow anything into the competition that was dangerous. But then again, if it was supposed to be a showing of strange new items, there was a chance that the officials wouldn’t be sure if the item was dangerous or not.
‘’It’s an infinity cube. It’s named that way, because every time it is activated, something new will happen - you know, infinite possibilities. They’re banned on most planets, because of their unpredictability. Aaaand they’re going to activate it here… (y/n)! We have to get down there!’’. With that, he jumped out of his seat, and raced down, shouting ‘’Sorry!’’, whenever he hit someone with his lanky legs.
When you finally reached the ground, he whipped out his trusty sonic screwdriver, and pointed it at the cube, which had begun to rise into the air. The merchant was desperately trying to grab it, seemingly unaware of the item’s power.
The Doctor lowered his screwdriver with a frustrated groan, ‘’Ugh, you always act up like this when I need you the most! (Y/n), don’t get too close to…-’’ He turned around to look at you, and sucked in a quick breath, his eyes widening in terror.
‘’Doctor?’’ You had no idea why he was looking at you like that. You tried to reach out to him, but as you did, you noticed the blue shimmer surrounding your arm, ‘’Doctor? What is happening?’’
‘’(y/n)… Just, stay right there, I’m coming over to you. Don’t move!’’ He pleaded, slowly moving towards you, reaching his hands out to you. The crowd around you was restless, their murmurs and confusion slowly morphing into panic, as they realized that the merchant had no control over their item. You tuned it all out, unable to tear your eyes away from the Doctor’s, which were fixed on your form, as if trying to keep you in your spot.
‘’That’s it, (y/n). Come on, give me your hand. I’ll figure out what is happening and put you back to normal, alright? Just come here.’’ His fingers were so close to touching yours now.
Your voice came out weak, as if it came from another room, ‘’Doctor?’’. The colors of your surroundings were slowly fading, turning into a light blue, the shapes of the aliens in the crowd blurring. You felt queasy, almost weightless. You struggled to move your body.
When the Doctor tried to grab your hand, his fell right through yours, as if you weren’t really there.
‘’(Y/N)!’’ His voice turned to panic, his hands desperately trying to grab you, but you hardly heard it, your mind slowly getting lost in the strange blue fog. Then, it all turned white.
Whatever you were laying on, it felt somehow familiar. Opening your eyes, the first color you noted was the light blue. But this time, it seemed that it was merely the normal color of your surroundings, the blue glow from the infinity cube nowhere to be seen. You felt sore, your arms like jelly as you stood up, gripping tightly onto the railing.
While you were still trying to get your wits about you, you missed the sound of a door opening and footsteps. You let out a low groan, as you rubbed your temple, eyes still fixed on the floor, before you heard a quiet, ‘’(Y/n)?’’. It was an unfamiliar voice, and when your eyes fell on the person before you, you saw an unfamiliar face as well. Green eyes, brown locks combed to the side, and a noticeable chin. However, his eyes looked at you with such familiarity, that you couldn’t help but feel that you must’ve met him somewhere before. Perhaps on one of your adventures with the Doctor? But, surely you would’ve remembered a handsome face like his, you admitted to yourself, feeling a bit ashamed of your attraction to this unknown man.
‘’Who are you? Where am I? I was just at Azikorlaka, and then I woke up here. I didn’t mean to break into your ship, or home or whatever.’’ You felt flustered under his gaze, which was now filled with an emotion you couldn’t place, but if you listened to the small voice in the back of your head it would say disbelief , amazement, adoration. But you wouldn’t listen.
His eyes crinkled, as the corners of his lips lifted into a small grin, ‘’Azikorlaka? You wouldn’t by any chance mean Azitora 5?’’
‘’…Yes, that is what I meant, but, how would you know that?’’ You questioned him, your words laced with hesitance. Did this man have something do with you being teleported here? He didn’t seem dangerous, but at the same time you had no reason to trust him, no matter how silly and non-threatening he looked, fiddling with his bowtie and hair while looking at his reflection on a screen - wait, why was he doing that?
‘’I remember this. The day you disappeared - Although, only for a little while. But I always did wonder where you went. How ironic that it would be here, at this moment.’’ He sighed almost wistfully, looking at you in that particular way that felt too intimate for someone you swear you hadn’t met before.
‘’What do you mean you remember this? I haven’t met you before.’’
He stood in front of you now, close enough to reach you with his hand, which he gently placed on your cheek. Suddenly you noticed how tired he looked. Despite the quick fix-up he had just done, his clothes were still slightly ragged and askew. His other hand he slowly placed on your other cheek, his breath washing over your face as he leaned down.
‘’Oh, (y/n)…’’
You felt like you should move. That you should create some distance from this… stranger , but you felt frozen, unwilling to part from him. Sadness emanated from him, and it felt familiar. Why did it feel familiar ? He rubbed your cheek with his thumb, eyelids drooping.
‘’Wha…-’’
He kissed you. Without thinking, your hands grabbed onto the lapels of his jacket, your eyes blown wide. His lips moved gently against yours, as his warm hands kept you pressed against his tall form. You could feel the tips of his fingers getting tangled in your hair, dragging down your neck and all the way down to your waist. Somehow, he managed to pull you even closer, your eyes finally closing. The kiss made you weak in the knees, not used to being handled like this. To be kissed like you were the most important person in the world, as his soft lips molded against yours. You wondered if the Doctor would ever kiss you like this.
The Doctor.
Snapping out of your daze, you pushed the man away, his lips leaving yours with a small pop .
‘’What… is happening?’’ You asked, taking greedy gulps of air into your lungs. You had asked that in regards to the kiss, though it seemed your makeout-buddy interpreted it differently.
‘’I sent you away. It was too dangerous for you to be here. but of course this happens. You show up anyway. Oh, you never did listen to orders did you?’’ A fond chuckle passed over his lips, though the sadness in his eyes grew stronger. With his hands still on your waist, he suddenly pulled you in again for a quick peck on the lips.
‘’He…-’’ Another peck. He pulled away slightly, just enough to separate his lips from yours as he pressed his forehead against your own, looking directly into your eyes.
‘’I suppose… This must all be very confusing to you.’’ He let out a nervous laugh, ‘’I apologize. I couldn’t help myself, I miss you too much already and it hasn’t even been that long since I dropped you off.’’
‘’What are you…-’’
‘’Really, the universe might be ending and you’re just standing there, looking so… kissable! ’’ He exclaimed with vigor, as if it annoyed him, moving away from you as he continued, ‘’I might die and never see you again and then you show up just to distract me! You absolute vixen! If I survive this, you better say yes when I ask you to marry me!’’ He threw his hands up in the air, before twirling around the console you hadn’t noticed before, pulling levers and pressing buttons.
‘’When you ask me to marry you?’’ You whispered to yourself, letting out a shaky sigh and rubbing your fingers against your temple, ‘’Why would you… Why would you ask me to marry you, I don’t even know you.’’ You managed to choke out, growing frustrated at the lack of answers. You just wanted to go back to the Doctor. You needed him to know that you were safe, you dare not imagine what he would do if you were lost forever.
The handsome stranger stopped his movement, looking at you again, now as if he had just been hit by a sudden realization. Removing his hands from the console, he slowly made his way over to you again, gently taking your hands in his.
He gave you a soft smile, ‘’(Y/n), look around you.’’
You blinked, confused at his request, before finally taking your eyes off him and letting them roam around the room you were in. It was blue, just as you had noticed when you first woke. But the layout of the room, it seemed so familiar. It was at the tip of your tongue. It was when you looked upwards, towards the ceiling, that’s when you saw the final piece of evidence. Gallifreyan. You still didn’t know how to read it, but you recognized the symbols from the small impromptu lessons you had had with the Doctor. Lowering your eyes again, you locked gazes with the man in front of you - The Doctor.
‘’We’re in the Tardis.’’ You gasped.
‘’You really only noticed now? What, too busy looking at your handsome Doctor?’’ He teased you, lifting one eyebrow with a smirk, seeming so damn pleased with himself, as your cheeks grew warm.
‘’I- You- Shut up!’’ You tried to remove your hands from his, your face hot with embarrassment. The Doctor had other plans, pulling you into a hug, burying his face in the crook of your shoulder, his own shaking with a warm laughter.
You let yourself enjoy the hug for a moment. He was the Doctor, and since he recognized you, it had to be one of his future regenerations. Part of you grew worried about the possibility of you messing up the timelines, but another part of you was concerned about something entirely different. He had kissed you - more than once. He wanted to propose to you. Something was wrong, it couldn’t be true.
‘’You’re gonna ask me to marry you.’’ It came out mumbled from your head pressed against his neck.
‘’It seemed like the natural next step, so yes.’’ He hummed, cheek nuzzling further into your neck, swaying you softly in the hug.
‘’…Why?’’
He pulled away to give you a bewildered look, ‘’Why? Well why wouldn’t I? I mean, you’re you , (y/n). And I lo…- Oh, you don’t know that yet, do you? Of course,’’ He let out a frustrated groan, his eyebrows knitting together as he slapped his hand against his temple, ‘’Of course! You were just on Azitora 5. Oh, I’m so stupid. Stupid Doctor! That’s why your behavior changed after that day… It’s all because of this!’’
‘’Doctor, I don’t understand…’’ You lifted your hand to place it on his cheek, only to notice the blue shimmer surrounding it.
‘’…Looks like we’re out of time. It’s time for you to go back to your Doctor, (y/n).’’ He murmured, looking slightly crestfallen.
‘’But wait! I can’t go now! You’ll be all alone!’’ You gripped onto his shoulders, shaking him, ‘’You shouldn’t have to face… whatever is happening alone!’’ Your voice was shaky, on the verge of breaking.
The Doctor’s hands found yours, squeezing them gently, before bringing them to his lips for a small kiss, ‘’(Y/n), there’s someone who is much more scared than I am right now, and that’s someone who thinks that he’s already lost you. He needs you, (y/n), you have to go back to him.’’ He leaned in to kiss your forehead, and smiled at you.
‘’But… You’re gonna be all alone.’’ You mumbled, sadness welling up in your chest at the Doctor facing yet another disaster with no one by his side. Your hands were now phasing through his, a sign that you only had a few seconds left.
‘’No, (y/n), you’re still with me. Even when you aren’t right by my side, I always feel you with me. And even though I know you’ll be extremely cross with me, when I go back to pick you up, I know you’ll stay. I couldn’t ask for anything more.’’
The blue shimmer was now clouding your vision, your eyelids felt unbelievably heavy as you blinked, your pleading gaze locked onto the Doctor.
‘’Oh,’’ He breathed, ‘’I almost forgot. (Y/n), I’m sorry to put the responsibility onto your shoulders, but when you get back to your Doctor, please, cut the poor guy some slack and take charge, would you? He may act charming and all that, but… Well, I was never too good at being totally honest about my feelings, was I…?’’
His words slowly faded into nothingness, as a blinding white filled your vision. The last thing you remember was his green eyes.
‘’(Y/N)!’’
Waking up now was harder than it had been before, as if you had just been in a deep sleep and was now being woken up by your parents, reminding you to get up for school.
‘’(Y/n)! (Y/n) please look at me.’’ Whoever was talking was cradling you in their arms, their body trembling just enough to be noticed.
Groaning, you attempted to swat the person away, ‘’Uggh, five more minutes, is that too much to ask for…’’
Wait.
Your eyes snapped open, worried brown eyes meeting yours. Concern was replaced with relief, as a tiny smile slipped onto the Doctor’s face.
‘’Hey.’’ He murmured to you, as if indeed speaking to a person who just woke up.
‘’Hi.’’ You replied back, unable to stop yourself from smiling in return. It was then you noticed your position, your cheek pressed against his clothed chest, one of his arms under your back, while his other hand was supporting your head.
‘’Good to have you back.’’ He said, his smile growing wider on his face, adjusting your position so you could sit up properly in front of him.
You took a look around you. You were still in the arena, but it was completely empty, deserted, except for you and the Doctor.
Sensing your confusion, the Doctor was quick to explain, ‘’All the guests were evacuated off the planet. It took some explaining, but they thankfully listened and are now parked in the planet’s orbit, until the threat is gone. The infinity cube may be dangerous, but all times it has ever been used in history, it has only affected the surroundings within a certain range. Now, I’ll put this little fella somewhere safe, and then we can give them the signal that it’s safe to come back.’’ He stood quickly, pulling you up with him and setting off towards where you left the Tardis, ‘’Do you remember what happened after you disappeared? I’m not entirely sure myself, but I’m almost certain that you were teleported somewhere else, but it was impossible to know for sure.’’ He mused the last part to himself, getting lost in thought.
‘’You didn’t know? …But, how did you get me back then? How could you reverse something you didn’t understand… wait, you said you sent the people away from the planet…’’ Realization slowly dawned on you, a terrible feeling in your gut. You stopped walking, the Doctor stopping a few steps ahead of you. His neck was craned forward, looking down at the ground, as if ashamed.
‘’It was the only option I had at the moment. And I… couldn’t just let you slip away, not when there was a chance I could get you ba- bring you back, I mean!’’ He turned his head slightly to look at you, with the face of a kicked puppy.
‘’You used the cube… You idiot! That could’ve been incredibly dangerous! What would I have done if you get hurt?’’ Marching up to the time lord, he backed up slightly as your face came close to his, ‘’You’re not the only one who gets to be worried, you know.’’ You pulled him down to your level, so you could lean your head on his.
He gaped at you, lost for words, ‘’I, uh, I’m sorry. I was just getting a little desperate, but, hey. Nothing too bad happened. Except for the pixies, those were a bit annoying.’’ He trailed off, his cheeks flushed as he broke eye contact.
‘’Well,’’ You started, pulling away before skipping ahead of the Doctor, turning around to yell, ‘’Why don’t you tell me all about that when you take me on a date to make up for this disaster of a trip.’’ You grinned at him, before turning around once again, leaving the Doctor behind, his eyes growing wide.
