She was so happy…

Okay, first of all you have to know that I was abroad with my classmates because it’s a tradition in our school. (Don’t ask me why‍♀️) And we were in Malta where I decided to buy her some gifts. I just thought that it was a good idea until I literally found nothing for her. I swear that there was almost nothing that she would have liked. But then I found four things for her during our last day there. It was a little turtle with Malta written on it, a black bracelet with a T letter and two pens with „Maltese Islands“ written on them. At last I bought a little bag where I could put everything in. But then I panicked because teachers aren’t allowed to keep gifts they received from their students. So I was worried about it(of course) and at first I though about giving it anonymously but then I told myself „F*ck it“ because she probably already knows that I‘m in love with her. Because of that I gathered all of my strength that was left and waited until our chemistry lesson ended and everyone had left the classroom. I went to her as nervous as you can be when you‘re standing in front of your crush and our conversation went like this:

Me: „Professor, you have to promise me something“

Her: „Oh, What is it?“

Me: „You have to accept something“

Her:(she already knew that I was going to give her gifts) „You really didn’t have to do this for me, /my name\“

Me:(gives her the little bag) „It’s just a little bit, really“

Her:(she looks into the bag, then looks at me) „Well that’s more than a little bit, you know.“(she smiles) „But thank you, I really appreciate it.“

Me:(blushes immediately) „Well you‘re worth it, you’re my favourite teacher“

Her:(still smiles at me) „Thanks again, but we have to keep it a secret because you know that I‘m not allowed to keep such things.“

Me: „I know, that’s why I waited until now when nobody’s around“

And then she talked with me about Malta and what I thought about the trip. I was literally shaking but I smiled like I was the happiest person ever. But I was, at least at this moment. Because she accepted the present and thanked me a lot and because she obviously liked it. I just love talking to her and I think that she likes me too. The only thing that I really want is to stay in touch with her after school because she seems like the kind of person who would talk with me when I needed it. And I‘m going to need someone who I can talk to next year at the new school. Next year‘s not going to be easy for me because I know almost nobody there and I really need someone to talk to who isn’t part of the school. And she would be perfect but I don’t know how to tell her this without being intrusive or something like that. Why can’t she be a friend of my family? Then some things would be fixed. But sadly I only get to see her at school and it’s uncommon for me to see her at a supermarket or something like that.

I just love her so much…

I miss her..

Okay, so i had the need to tell y‘all something because I can’t tell it anyone else. We‘re (my whole class) in another country right now, thousands of kilometres away from our school and I miss her so much. I look at the photos I took with her everyday and I miss her almost every second of every day. It‘s this feeling that I want to be with her but at the same time I want her to be with me here. I want to experience all of the things with her. I want her to lie next to me on the beach. I want her to learn a new language with me. I want her to kiss me when I want to sleep. I want to swim with her in the sea. I want to see her without the façade she‘s putting on everyday. I want to go to a fancy restaurant with her. I want to make out with her when we‘re alone. But I also want to be at home. With her. Because she would teach different when I‘m alone with her. She would talk much more with me. I just want to love her. Because she‘s so beautiful. Because I want her. But I know that I can’t have this. At least not now. Maybe next year. When I‘m older.

Nevermind.

I was in the capital city yesterday with some of my classmates and I went shopping. And of course I had to find something for her which I did. I bought a bracelet for her with a T on it (it‘s the first letter of her name) and I found a cute, small turtle where the city‘s name is printed on it. But I don’t think that’s enough so I‘m going to go to the shopping centre tomorrow and buy something bigger for her. Because she‘s worth the money. But I don’t think that I‘m going to give it to her personally because she won’t accept it. So my plan is to give it to her anonymously. Maybe I‘m going to place it on her desk in her classroom or I’m going to ask a teacher I can trust to give it to her. But I do t think that someone else should give it to her so I‘m tending to put it on her desk.

And there’s more.

I really love the city where I‘m staying but the problem is that I can see her everywhere. I want to see her so badly, I could cry but I can’t because my classmates and „friends“ wouldn’t understand. I just hate the fact that everyone knows that I‘ve fallen for my teacher. Why do my actions have to be that obvious? Anyway I just wanted to tell you that stuff because I can’t talk to anyone else. And if someone wants to talk about their tc, I‘m always there for you, guys❤️

~JSF

She said yes!

So… This is the first time i write something about my tc that‘s totally personal. But I had to get it off of my chest because I‘m so happy right now.

First of all, you have to know that we‘re going to take some photos with a professional photographer and they told us that we‘re going to make a few photos with the whole class and we can get some with our friends and something like that. And that was when they told us that we can also take photos with teachers we really liked and every teacher would feel honoured if we asked them.

So… I thought about asking T and I didn’t know how she would react because she doesn’t know that she‘s my favourite teacher () or anything like that and I really doubted that I could ask her. I get really nervous every time I‘m talking with her so I figured that I would be a complete mess and would only stutter a few words but I was wrong.

Although I was REALLY nervous ‘cause I didn’t know what she would say, I managed to ask her and she told me immediately that she would do that. I completely freaked out but I couldn’t show it because she was still standing in front of me. I told her that I would be really honoured and she just smiled at me and told me that she had to pick something pretty to wear for the photos and I just stood there like: You‘re always beautiful and I would love to kiss you right now in front of the whole school and I wouldn’t care about anyone who would see us. But obviously I didn’t say/do that because, you know…

Anyway, she told me that I should come and visit her in the morning to remind her of the photo shoot and I told her that I will definitely come to her. And after that my smile froze and I walked around with that grin all day even though some drama happened at my school today.

But I don’t care because I‘m going to get a photo with her all alone because I was the only one who asked her and I‘m so freaking happy because she didn’t hesitate, she immediately said yes.

I‘m so happy right now and I just wanted to share this story with others because i think that my friends are a little bit annoyed by the fact that I‘ve fallen for a teacher with a 20 Year gap between us so tumblr is the only way to tell anyone what happens between my tc and me…

(5.18.2018/Friday, by JSF)

(Feel free to comment, I would love to chat with some who also have crushes on their teachers…Yeah, I‘m lonely too)

you think you’re going to have a normal field trip and she shows up wyd (cw *slight* flashing images)

✦ find me on instagram @the.flightless.artist✦