BTS scenario/reaction - Sex/Sexual acts while one is asleep
Warning: blowjobs, sex with the unconscious, consensual sex, female oral, fingering.
Smut under the cut
Namjoon
It was clear you had tried to wait for him but they’d been delayed
You’d fallen asleep in sexy lingerie
A book by your side and reading glasses askew on your face
Mouth ajar with a little drool
You still looked undeniably sexy all dressed up or rather down for him
He placed your book to the side careful to keep your page
He slipped the glasses away desperate not to wake you before having a little fun
You had had an agreement for a long time that he could touch you however and whenever he liked provided there was no safe word used.
He turned you gently onto your back and spread your legs wide enough for him to lie in between
He slides your panties out of the way and flattens his tongue against your folds
You start to stir as he sucks on your clit and pumps one finger into you
“Hi Jagi, sorry I’m late.”
You don’t get a chance to respond before he is diving back in to make you moan for him
Seokjin
The clingiest man when he comes back from tour
Wants to do everything with you and for you
Cockwarming was something you did a lot during this time
An extra layer of intimacy you could share
Working from home, watching TV, playing video games
However this is the first time you’ve tried whilst asleep
Cuddly sleepers anyway it made sense
Until you’re awoken by his thrusts
Once you figured out what was actually happening you couldn’t help but be turned on
Jin was still asleep
Some wet dream being lived out in real time
You roll so he is on his back
Riding him through the dream and kissing his bare chest until he comes to
He doesn’t open his eyes, but you know the moment he wakes as his thrusts go from shallow languid rolls to deep forceful jolts
“What a wonderful way to wake up” he murmurs after finishing
Yoongi
You worked out early on in the relationship the best way to wake Yoonig up and not have to deal with a grump was a blowjob
He’d worked through the night again
Fast asleep his mixing desk
You squeeze yourself into the space underneath the table and unzipped his shorts
It’s so routine now that you can free him without him so much as stirring
You pump your hand along his hardening length before leaning in to kiss the tip
His breathing hitched as you tongued his slit his eyes flickering at the sensation
You could tell he was close to consciousness when he started to moan
His hands laced into your hair just as you took the last inch down your throat
“Good morning, Princess” his voice was still heavy with sleep
The sound mixed with the way he was petting your hair made you moan around his cock
Moments later he came undone deep down your throat.
Hoseok
Hobi was awoken by all your wriggling
At first he thought you were having a nightmare…
Until you moaned his name
He pulled back the covers to reveal your hand inside your pjs trying to provide some relief
Being the wonderful caring boyfriend he is, he thought he should lend a hand
He carefully removed your hand chuckling a little as you whimpered change your nose at the loss of friction
He cuddled close nibbling your ear lobe as his hand replaces yours
Your features straighten out again when he applies pressure to your clit
He whispers dirty words in your ear to influence your dreams
Dirty girl, so needy for me even in your dreams
Gonna come for me without even knowing
So wet for me
You mumble back “For you.” And Hobi has to check that you’re still asleep
You are
He gets more daring leaving his thumb on your clit and sliding his index finger through your folds dipping it inside
He thrusts the digit shallowly
Enjoying the little ‘o’ your mouth forms when he plays with a second finger
Every noise you make his music to his ears
He keeps his eyes on your face
Adding a third finger inside and curling each one as you stretch
The only change in you is the pleasure on your face
You cum in your sleep and Hobi isn’t sure he has ever seen anything sexier
He pulls his hand away and licks it clean taking note of how heavy a sleeper you are
Jimin
You awaken from your nap very disorientated feeling the heat pulling in the pit of your stomach and hands kneading your spread thighs
You can’t help the scream you release when you see the dark head of hair between your legs Jimin’s face peaks up smirking at you, lips covered in your cum
“Fucking hell Chim! You scared the fuck outta me” You half heartedly smack the side of his head
He was blonde when he left this morning
“Sorry baby. I’ll make it up to you.” He winks before reattaching his plump lips to your clit and sucking like his life depended on it
Two fingers scissor inside you
You’re not sure how long he’s been going at it but judging by the knot pulling in your stomach you wouldn’t need to go for much longer
The orgasm shudders through you
Thoroughly fucked out and oversensitive you hear the sound of a zipper
“My turn” he chimes lining himself up and you groan loving the overstimulation so soon
Taehyung
He woke so needy and desperate
In his half-asleep state he does the only logical thing
He put his leg across your sleeping body and starts using you for relief
You wake up when it starts to feel like you’re on a boat
You are unsurprised to find Tae with lidded eyes rolling his hips against your leg impatiently waiting for you to wake up
He has a way of asking for what he wants with actions and not words
You roll your eyes as he nudges into your arm
His boxy smile lights up his face when you agree
You rollover pressing your bum into him having forgone panties in favour of a long T shirt
He fingers you slowly for a while the motion relaxing enough to lull you back into a shallow sleep
Once he’s satisfied with your stretch, he hooks your leg over the top of him and lines himself up to you and rocks gently, finally content
Jungkook
It starts as a drunken bet between friends with benefits
“I bet I could make you cum in my sleep” he sounds so cocky
“But wouldn’t I be doing all the work? That would make you a glorified sex toy Hun.”
“OK, I bet I could make you cum in your sleep then”
“Without me waking up?.. You’re on”
Weeks go by and you forget but he doesn’t, plotting his time
You’d fallen asleep on his sofa after movie night and everyone else had already gone home
Through all the guys talking (and him accidentally hitting your head against the door frame when he moved you to bed)
It was now or never
He was careful removing your jeans scared to lose he hates losing
He starts tentatively rubbing your clit and watching your face for every reaction
The longer it goes on the braver he gets
Pinching your clit
Watching his index finger into you and feeling for the spot he knows drives you crazy
Your eyes flutter but you stay asleep
Finally he peels his gaze from your face to the matter hand
Just seeing how what you are for him gets him ridiculously wound up
All caution thrown to the wind as the blood from his brain go southbound
He slotted himself between your legs
Lapping hungrily at the juices
Diving his tongue in when he needed more
He ground himself against the bed seeking friction
Two fingers in
Sucking desperately at your clit
He felt you start to tense, a sign you’re as close as he had managed to get himself
He came in his pants as he felt you release on his face
Panting for breath he was a little relieved that you haven’t seen how easily he’d come all over himself…
BTS Reaction to your pregnancy test finally coming back positive.
Warning: Vomit (Morning sickness)
Namjoon
He waits anxiously in the living room as you take the test, wringing his hands.
When you don’t come out after 15 minutes he starts to worry and goes to find you
You’re sobbing on the floor when he walks in
Immediately he is at your side telling you it’ll be okay you can try again
You’re crying too hard to tell him, so you hand him the test and he freezes his soothing motions
Tears well in his eyes as you watch for his reaction
Suddenly you’re being lifted off the floor and carried towards your bedroom he lays you down carefully, but he doesn’t let go.
His hands trail down your sides and lift the hem of your shirt.
He leans down and presses hundreds of kisses into your tummy as you giggle, trying to wriggle away from your husband’s affectionate assaults
Seokjin
You find out while he is on tour
There’s only a month left so you don’t tell him
He would only want to fly home immediately and there’s nothing for him to do yet
Hiding from him is torture when he checks in everyday and all you want is to spill the secret and see the joy on his face of finally…
But you know it’ll be worth it
He comes home to string flower petals leading to your closed bedroom door
He opens it to find a tray of goodies laying out for him and a jewellery box with a note that says ‘find me waiting in the bathroom’
He doesn’t open the box too eager to see you after so long he takes the box and heads straight for you
He is more than confused to find you sat on the closed toilet lid in a fluffy bathrobe instead of in a bubble bath like he was usually greeted with
You roll your eyes and gesture to the unopened box he still looks very confused at the little white stick displayed under new cufflinks that read “daddy”
Eventually you just stand letting the robe fall to display your rounding belly.
The shock finally hits him, and he sweeps you into his arms, cradling you close with one arm, the other hand on your stomach.
Yoongi
You are out shopping with your little boy
Daddies black card burning a hole in your pocket as you treat the birthday boy
You’d just finished lunch when the overwhelming urge to vomit hit
The next three days you struggled to keep anything down
Yoongi eventually convinces you to go to the hospital even though you think he’s being a bit dramatic for a stomach bug.
The news you are six weeks pregnant hits you like a truck after what the doctors told you last time
It’s one of the few times Yoongi lets you see him cry off stage.
Hoseok
It’s a joke when he says “maybe you’re pregnant” after developing a weird craving for spray cheese on salt and vinegar crisps
This wasn’t even that weird
You laughed
It’s not exactly out of character for you to try weird food combos
Except spray cheese is disgusting
You still feel a little silly when you go out to buy the test
Lo and behold the little plus mark appears and you are left in shock
Fully on autopilot you walk into your kitchen test in hand
Hobi looks up confused, glancing at your outstretched hands and makes one of those noises only he can
He sweeps you off your feet and dances you around the kitchen pulling you out of your shellshock.
Jimin
You’d never seen someone so excited yet so close to an obvious breakdown
There are 30 swatches of paint on the wall of the spare room by the end of the week
Trying to remind him that if there is still 32 weeks to go does not slow down the process
He enlists the boys while they have time off because he is worried he won’t be around to help as much when their schedules pick up again
Every detail is run by you before it’s placed in the nursery
And he has a baby shower party planned long before your second scan.
Taehyung
The moment the at home test comes back positive Tae has booked you in for a hospital scan
You sit in the private hospital room twitching as you wait for the ultrasound technician to come in
Taehyung squeezes your hands reassuring you after so many negatives and false starts
This time feels different though
Eventually the doctor comes in and you lie back ignoring the discomfort that comes with a transvaginal ultrasound
It was early on and you needed to be sure
The doctor’s brows furrow and you steal your nerves for the news that it was another false alarm
“Are you prepared for the possibility of multiple births?”
Taehyung can’t contain his excitement head whipping to look at your pale complexion
The doctor doesn’t get to say triplets before you’ve blacked out
You thought you were around 12 weeks and starting to show
Nope! Six weeks and very bloated
Jungkook
Five nights into your private luxury yacht honeymoon you are vomiting over the side of the rails while your very confused half naked husband watches on
You’re taken to the doctor at the next port
You laugh when he suggests pregnancy you’ve only been off birth control for a month now
Everyone said it would take forever and you’d already waited for so long
Turns out the universe just didn’t want you living in sin
They did several tests
Each positive
You do wish the little bean could have waited to make you sick when you weren’t living on a boat for a month
You cut the trip short
But JK already had you rebooked for six months after the due date for your first family holiday
A collection of soft scenarios with each of the BTS boys
Namjoon:
Imagine spending the day in a botanical garden somewhere. The day is overcast, but still warm. You’ve gotten to wear your favourite sundress or shorts for the first time in ages. Namjoon walks just a little ahead of you excitedly talking you through plants he recognises. He spent a while researching the plants he’d find just to impress you. Anything he doesn’t know he reads on the little plaques. He spends a little longer lingering around flowers that look like they are about to bloom just in the hopes of seeing the buds unfurl.
You’ve packed a picnic for the two of you to enjoy. Little cakes and sandwiches, homemade lemonade, and a couple packets of crisp all wrapped neatly inside of a blanket so you don’t have to perch on itchy damp grass. You eat quickly and lie back to admire the sky above you, clouds shifting just enough to allow little slivers of blue to peak through. One arm rests behind his head, the other curled behind you as you lay on his chest.
A perfect moment interrupted by one of the gardens loose peacocks getting a little too curious. The bird kept inching closer the longer you lay and eventually you had to move in order to keep your distance. Joon rolls up the blanket and puts it away into a bag before taking your hand to continue your tour. The afternoon carries on much the same as this morning, except this time Namjoon holds you close as you admire the array of flora. As you leave through the gift shop, he can’t help but pick up a new exotic plant as a challenge for himself, as well as a ‘paint your own pot’ kit for the two of you to complete together later.
Jin:
Imagine attending a cocktail making class. He gets mockingly jealous as you watch the attractive host a little too closely for his liking. He jokes about it for the rest of the evening, feigning hurt feelings. Each drink the two of you make comes with varying degrees of success, but regardless of aesthetic execution they taste delicious.
You get tipsier with each cocktail you are taught 6 drinks in total, but anyone watching would’ve thought you’d doubled it. You descend into maddened laughter at each pun and innuendo Jin throws your way, much to the chagrin of the other guests, who seem to have avoided tasting all of their drinks, saving them for the end. However the two of you decided they were all just being boring.
As the class comes to an end you are offered the opportunity to buy the recipe book and all of the ingredients used. Jin does so with no hesitation with the intent to replicate the fun you’ve had somewhere a little more private…
Yoongi:
Imagine visiting the 'That That’ set and getting to make fun of him with Psy. Watching him go from a producer role to co-star. Giggling with Psy as you two suggest more and more ridiculous cowboy options for Yoongi to wear.
Yoongi giggling every take so they have to shoot multiple times. You not helping the situation when your laughter becomes the loudest amongst the crowd.
Him taking off his cowboy hat and giving it to you in between filming so he can claim you as his. He makes sure you get to keep that hat when they wrap because you’ve become so attached to it.
Hoseok:
Imagine the most chilled out evening of your life. Both of you in sweats and oversized jumpers on opposite ends of the sofa. Your legs outstretched, he sits on your feet to keep them warm. A bowl of snacks rest on your legs for you both to be able to reach.
He sets up a series you had been wanting to watch together but had never found the time before now. You’ve set aside the whole night just to binge watch your way through as much as possible. When the snacks run out, Hobi moves the bowl and slides down in to your lap instead. You remain stretched across the sofa but he has wiggled into the space between the back and your legs creating a nook for himself.
A cold hand snakes under your sweater and lays innocently on your bare stomach as the two of you continue to watch TV for the rest of the night, falling asleep at some point midway through.
Jimin:
Imagine going to pick Jimin up from a dance practice. He is working on a solo piece for the new album, similar to serendipity but it’s a faster piece. Still his movements are just as fluid, he doesn’t miss a beat as he follows the rhythm across the room, too caught up to notice that you’ve come in yet. All of the boys move well, but there is a liquid quality that is uniquely Jimin’s, a quality that shines when he gets to put all of his energy into his own piece.
He eventually catches your eye in the mirror with a look that suggests he know you were there. Still his effort somehow increases, each move crisper, smoother. He crosses the studio to you and takes your hands leading you clumsily through an unprepared partner performance to a beat you’ve only heard through headphones until now. It’s hard to focus on his body and his voice despite how badly you want to be truly absorbed by both.
He laughs as you stumble, catching you every time your feet fail to keep up with him. He twirls you around long after the song finishes, filling the silence by humming new melodies. The boys from TXT eventually shuffle in sheepishly to claim the space they rented and you and Jimin bow deeply in apology. He takes your hand and leads you from the room.
Taehyung:
Imagine going to paint a pot. You both choose animal shaped money boxes. The idea to create something to save for your future together, even if its more symbolic than practical with the amount of money he makes. You give yours an ethereal garden theme, tiny flowers and vines wrapping around fur patterns in varying shades of green. Taehyung goes a little more abstract.
He paints in primary colours only. The fox he chose is covered in blue and yellow tiger stripes over a fire red base. Something that by all means should be ugly, looks like a masterpiece in his hands.
Each figurine take pride of place in his home, on the shelf next to the TV where everyone can see his most treasured possessions.
Jungkook:
Imagine attending a trampoline park. Watching Jungkook attempt more and more impressive flips from high platforms into foam pits, only to have to help him escape the foamy clutches when he gets stuck from diving too deep.
The two of you would compete to see who could jump the highest, who can do the best flip off the wall, who could do the most swivels. Any game he and you can come up with is played until your calves ache from the effort. Until he plucks you from the air, pushing you into a foam pit.
You can barely avoid him as he tries to jump in top of you, pouting as he realises you moved. Spending time trying to catch your breathes by lying back in the pit and watching the other couples and kids bounce past for a little while.
Genre: (Inaccurate) Historical AU || Strangers to lovers AU || Supernatural AU || Implied smut || Fluff || Angst
Summary: Picking which road to go down is easy when you think about how alone you would be without Jungkook, even if he hadn’t been the most honest with you from the start.
Word count: 9k
Tags/ warnings: angst, fluffy-ish, minor mention of blood, self deprecation, more lying, soft yandere kook, mentions of murder/ killing, definitely probably an unhealthy relationship, too much talking about dates it’s slightly confusing me thinks that is all
Notes: after a two month hiatus i have returned to my favorite child, i don’t really have an excuse except i’m ass at multitasking and shouldn’t have started a second series basically right after starting this one, so i recommend maybe going back and re-reading the last chapter like i had to unless you have sexy good memory
“Of course I’m mad Jungkook” you look at him in disbelief, “What if they had been thorough in their search? What if they found out you were the one who killed that man? Are you stupid?”
Jungkook swallows thickly, bottom lip jutting out into a pout as you berate him. He was more upset that you seemed genuinely angry with him that the possible consequences of getting caught because he couldn’t keep his anger in line. It wasn’t his fault the seedy old man had touched you without consent, what was he meant to do? Let the man go? That would go against all his morals and values.
“I told you it wasn’t me” he gently grabs your hands, his thumbs running over your palms. He looks down, eyebrows furrowing as a sad pout moulds onto his face, surely you couldn’t be angry at him when he looked so upset!
You look at him with a deadpan look, pulling your hands from his own. Because even if Jeon Jungkook looked like a kicked puppy, you weren’t about to forget the crime he had committed. And you would make it clear that if you were carry on knowing each other then he wasn’t allowed to go around killing men or women. Or anyone for that matter whatever they identified as. No killing.
By some miracle you’d made it out of the village without any other issues; you’d been so scared when you’d been stopped at the gate, convinced your life was truly over when it had hardly even begun. Turns out the men couldn’t care less about the murder, forced into the job last minute by the head of the village because no one had volunteered, simply asking the three of you to step away from the wagon so they could take a look for anything suspicious.
It seemed the man who had harassed you hadn’t been liked by many, the chief of the village only going ahead with protocol to appease his higher up in the capital so he himself wouldn’t be arrested.
They hadn’t even looked into any bags, their eyes skimming over what you were carrying, mindless hums passing through their lips as they prodded a bag or two, giving the three of you a curt nod and wishing you luck on your travels.
You’d thanked them, not missing the way their eyes had lingered at your chest as you climbed back into the back of the wagon; and it took all your will power not to kick them where the sun doesn’t shine. Namjoon seemed to share your anxiety, the way his shoulders had stayed tense until you were far enough from the village a clear sign, he had shared your sentiment. Only relaxing slightly once far enough to be considered safe.
You didn’t blame him. Felt a little sorry if anything.
It wasn’t every day that you have to travel with two complete strangers. One a four-armed demon who had arguably (definitely had) twisted morals, who was stubborn beyond belief sometimes and a foreigner who may still be wanted dead by the royal family because they believed you were a spy. (Something you will soon find out is a law that was demolished 6 years ago along with the fact there was a new king)
“Now you must think I’m stupid” you shake your head, “what other demon would have been in that small village?”
“Probably a lot” Jungkook argues, “I’m not the only demon and you know that”
You release a heavy sigh, fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “No killing people, okay? It’s not right”
“I would never” Jungkook says, lie easily slipping through his cushiony lips. Anything to appease you.
You make eye contact with him, searching for something behind his onyx eyes, only to find nothing. He didn’t seem to be lying, Jungkook had no reason to lie to you. Maybe it was a little naïve of you to believe that Jungkook could do no wrong; maybe you were biased because he’d only ever shown you kindness. He treated you as an equal, not some house maid that had to cook and clean all day, nothing more than a tool for him to boss around to feed into some fucked up superiority complex. You’d liked to believe Jungkook was as honest with you as you are with him, and it felt easy to read him, like he wore his heart on his sleeve and if he were to ever lie, you’d know.
“Okay, I believe you” you whisper, heartrate picking up as he smiles down at you so brightly. How could someone so kind kill a man? Sure, he threatened Namjoon here and there but you saw where your demon friend was coming from, the world was a shitty place and not everyone can be trusted.
Namjoon clearing his throat catches your attention, “We’re almost at the capital” he informs.
You look up at the sky, full moon hanging high above the three of you, illuminating the path for Namjoon as he meanders down the dirt road towards the large gates of the capital.
You peek over the walls of the wagon, lips quirking into an excited smile as you catch the faint silhouette of a few high-rise buildings. It was hard to see in the silver glow of the moonlight, but you imagine it looked exactly how Taehyung had described it in his notebook. Tomorrow you’d have to take a look over his notes again and plan out how you’d spend the next three days here with Jungkook.
You turn your head to look at said demon as he snakes his arm over your shoulders, his eyes trained on the path ahead, his own smile quirking onto his lips.
“If it looks this beautiful in the moonlight it must be ethereal during the day” you tell him, smile widening when he turns his head to look at you.
Your eyes close briefly when he leans forwards, a gentle kiss being pressed between your eyebrows.
“Yes, but nothing will ever match your beauty” he murmurs against your skin, your eyebrows furrowing at the ticklish feeling.
You let out an unattractive scoff, pushing his arm from your shoulder as you sit back down, view of the capital being obscured by the walls of the wagon. Jungkook sits back too, a knowing smile on his face as he starts packing up both of your things into his backpack.
He just adored how shy you could be something, and he didn’t mind playing your little games if it meant he could see the strawberry pink flush of your cheeks, illuminated by the silver moonlight.
Jungkook wishes he could engrave this moment into his mind. You always had looked like a fairy in the cool glow beneath the moon, so undeniably beautiful he wanted to keep you all to himself. No one in this world deserving enough to see you looking so delicate, no one but himself. He find it hard to keep his hands to himself, wanting to caress your soft skin, kiss every inch of your body until you understand its beauty, maybe leave a love bite or two so you’ll remember him even when not together. He wonders if you’d trace the sensitive skin, pressing on it just to feel the dull ache, or if you would leave them out in the open for anyone else to see; a sign that you’re taken.
The rest of the night went by in a blur, entering the capital was easier than you had initially assumed it to be, you believe because it was so late into the night the guards were laxer than they would be during the day. It didn’t seem to be common for visitors to arrive so late, the three of you the only ones waiting for the gate to be opened, what lay beyond the walls silent, everyone having gone to bed or closed their shops until sunrise.
A guard had recognised Namjoon, more than happy to hurry up the process of getting you into a decent inn so you wouldn’t have to camp out in the wagon until morning; understanding your backs must ache and eye weary from a long day of travel.
The woman at the front of the inn was more than happy to house the three of you for the next few days, a beautiful smile on her face as she handed Namjoon and Jungkook a key. She’d then turned to you, assuring you that you were more than welcome to come and sit in the bar area downstairs and embroider with her during the day, she was having trouble with a project and would be extremely happy if you were to help out at some point.
You’d eagerly nodded, smile so wide your cheeks had started to hurt. No one had ever wanted you to help them with their embroidery before!
She reminded you of the mother you’d never had, something so soft and warm about her that you couldn’t help but say yes to everything she was saying. You’d have to sit with her at breakfast and ask her what the capital was really like, and maybe she could even look through Taehyung’s diary with you and make a plan to make the most of your three days in the capital.
“Good night” you wave to Namjoon as he unlocks the door to his own room adjacent from yours and Jungkook’s.
Namjoon waves back, dimpled smile making a brief appearance before he scuttles back into his room, door being locked from the inside.
Jungkook pulls out a pair of pyjamas for you to wear, throwing them onto the bed as you flop onto the mattress.
“Get changed before you sleep, pretty” he reminds you, smiling when you reply, muffled by your head being stuffed into the layers of silky blankets on the bed. Though he assumes it must be something along the lines of ‘can’t be bothered’ to ‘in a minute, kook’
He rummages through his bag, trying to find his own sleep clothes (he liked to pretend to sleep beside you even if his body didn’t need it like yours did, something so blissfully domestic about laying beside you, your calm breath a beautiful symphony in the dead of night), however his focus is trained on you. The slow raise and fall of your body as you just lay there, unmoving, exhausted.
He tuts, abandoning his task as he pushes himself up from the floor, sauntering over towards you with purpose in his steps.
You let out a surprised squeak when his first pair of arms snakes around your waist, easily lifting you to sit up.
“Come on” he encourages, one of his arms stretching to grab your discarded clothes, placing them in your lap.
“But ‘m sleepy kookie” you whine, falling back onto the mattress with a dramatic sigh.
Jungkook, amused, lifts you up again, this time by pulling you up from under your arms, like one would a baby. And maybe you were his baby, the most precious little thing in his life. Truthfully, he doesn’t mind moment like this, adores them actually. Each time you rely on him, he can prove to you that he is good enough to provide for you, and he can only hope that with small moments like these you were slowly falling in love with him. He knows you’d never love him as much as he loved you, that was impossible! No one could love anything as much as he absolutely worships your very being, but he believes one day you’ll love him. He believes you already do, why else would you have stuck around for so long? He just knows you’re a little shy and being the considerate person that he is, he’ll wait a little longer before he tells you his master plan. Surely you’d be thrilled.
The perfect plan to keep the two of you together for the rest of time. Even thinking about it makes his cheeks burn, dusted a light pink, like the sunsets that you like to watch each evening while he reads you passages of his favourite books, maybe even feeding you a slice of fruit between pages just to make sure you’re not hungry before bed.
You don’t complain as he easily slips your shirt from your head, sighing in bliss as he kisses your bare shoulders before helping you put one of your sleep shirts on. He does the same with your pants, placing a feather light kiss to your ankle as he helps you change. Fingers skimming your pretty skin, he has to stop himself more than once from running his tongue along the expanse of it, wanting to relish the feeling of you in as many ways possible.
Once done, he leaves you to flop back on the bed, reminding him of a sleepy floppy bunny, as he lifts a few of the blankets, before lifting you to tuck you into bed; something had seemed to be a routine at this point. He wouldn’t be able to count on his four hands the number of times he’d been able to tuck you into his bed, safe from the world, if only for a night.
“Thank you” you whisper, voice laced with sleep.
Jungkook brushes your hair from your face, deftly tucking it behind your ears.
“Anything for you” he whispers back, a fond smile on his face.
He waits until you’re asleep, carefully slipping from the bed, trying his best not to wake you because he knew you were a light sleeper. Rummaging through his bag he bites his lip as he pulls a map from one of the pockets. Trying his best to stay silent, as unrolls the paper, humming to himself as he scans the map, finger tracing the library he needed to visit. He wondered if books were more expensive in the capital, Taehyung would usually collect the ones he wanted, and it was easier to give his friend a few coins each month and whatever was left, Taehyung could keep. Jungkook never had much care for money anyways.
He nods in thought, turning towards the bag once more, praying to the devil down below that he had enough for the specific book he wanted, no… needed.
He rummages around until he finds the small pouch of money. Opening the drawer strings, he cringes at how much the two of you had left. Saving had started to get harder over the last few years. After the new king had risen to power and demons had become public enemy number one, the villagers hadn’t been as generous with putting their coins into shrines.
And Jungkook was now facing the consequences.
His whole life he had relied on the money humans would leave at his shrine, it was easy to live off, even after you’d started living with himself and Taehyung, the donations were generous enough he never had to worry about money for food, clothes or books, but looking now, money was starting to become an issue.
He wouldn’t tell you this of course. He couldn’t have you worrying, he couldn’t let your pretty little head come up with a stupid idea (like leaving him), just because the two of you had to be a little frugal with your money until he figured out a way to earn a decent living once again.
Maybe he could sell Taehyung’s art, it wouldn’t sell for a lot, Taehyung was by no means a well-respected painter, that is why he had struggled for years before he’d met Jungkook. But that didn’t mean his art was worthless, they would have to at least sell for a couple of pennies a piece.
Jungkook thinks you wouldn’t be happy if he were to sell Taehyung’s art. You adored it, having spent hours a day letting Taehyung teach you the basics of painting, and after finally getting a glimpse at his art, you’d stay hauled up in Taehyung’s room, connecting with him through his artwork even if he wasn’t physically with you anymore. You’d be crushed if any of the pieces were to disappear.
Maybe he could take a few of the smaller pieces? The ones you wouldn’t notice went missing, he just needed a way to earn a few extra coins. The last thing he needed was for you to starve. Or even worse, you to leave him because he can’t provide for the two of you. And if you were to find out, he could jut out his bottom lip, maybe even shed a tear or two until you forgave him, he’s sure you’d understand his struggle if he cried a little.
+++
Namjoon was suspicious.
He’d been thinking for a few days, ever since he’d spoken to you at the beach about the village in-front of the mountains and how you’d met Jungkook. It all seemed… off. Nothing was falling into place. Odd pieces of the puzzle that didn’t connect, or worse, that one puzzle piece that goes missing, impossible to find and so the picture will remain incomplete. Forever.
He had considered asking you a few more things about Jungkook but decided against it. Not only was Jungkook constantly glued to your side, the few times he strayed away from the two of you, he seemed to be lurking close by enough to be able to listen to your conversations. So, asking you was out of the question. For now.
And from what he had seen, you probably weren’t the best person to ask about the demon.
Sure, you lived with him, probably knew a lot more than you were letting on but either the demon was threatening you to not say anything, or you genuinely didn’t know all that much. Both seemed just as likely. Namjoon had been on the receiving end of Jungkook’s threats more than a few times during this trip and knew how scary he could be, but Jungkook was also extremely secretive. Like how he clearly didn’t want you know about what happened in the village 6 years ago.
Namjoon was also suspicious of the fact that you seemed to have forgotten a lot of what happened in your life over the last few months. By no means was he a doctor, he’d given up on that dream long ago, but nothing made sense. You seemed so confused, genuinely asking him for help, and no matter how hard he tried to think of ways your memories had disappeared, the conclusion always led back to Jungkook. Suspicious Jungkook who definitely had a few too many secrets.
And so, Namjoon had the bright idea to follow the demon to wherever he may be going instead of interrogating you back at the inn while you had breakfast with the nice front desk lady.
It wasn’t all that surprising when Jungkook walks into a library, the demon always had a book in his hands. And with how much he read, Namjoon wasn’t all that surprised he needed a new book so soon into the trip.
What alarmed Namjoon was the location of the library, hidden in the dark crevices of an alley way on the outskirts of the capital. A place you’d have to have known prior to the trip happening, either having visited this location before, or someone who knew of it telling him before the trip had begun. It was in too much of an obscure place to be any old library.
Namjoon waits for Jungkook to enter the building, his foot tapping against the cobblestone path for what felt like a minute before he decides that he should just go in.
It looked like any other library, shelves stacked up to the ceiling, books organised by category, clearly labelled with large wooden signs, hung on the end of each shelf. The young boy behind the front desk hadn’t bothered to look up at from his own book as Namjoon wanders inside. (If he had, Namjoon would have seen the third eye the boy had)
It’s fairly easy to spot Jungkook even among the tall bookshelves with his broad back and slightly suspicious looking navy cloak, Namjoon tries his best to stay a fair amount of distance between the two of them. He wondered how good Jungkook’s senses must be as a demon and the last thing he wanted right now was to get caught. That would be the end of him, and he promised his mother he would be home within a week.
The village boy slips to hide behind a nearby shelf once Jungkook stands down one of the isles, fingers lightly skimming over the spines of a few books. He peeks up at the wooden sign, checking what sort of book Jungkook could be looking for.
His eyebrows furrow. ‘Conversion theory’
In all his times spent at libraries he’d never seen that genre of book. And Namjoon, although his friends back at the village make fun of him, quite likes to read. He had taught himself how to, never having had gone and learnt from a scholar, but he liked to live the lives of other through the pages.
He himself was trapped in his mundane life on the farm, nothing more going for him. But he could adventure the globe through a book, learn the history of his land, picture what life beyond the vast sea must be like, and so much more, just from paper and ink.
He takes a look at another shelf, gulping when he reads the sign.
‘Demonic entities’
Namjoon has to slap a hand over his mouth as he looks around, finally taking a look at the library properly; completely forgetting he was here to see what Jungkook could be trying to find.
Mixed among the humans were other beings, just like Jungkook.
+++
You watch Jungkook shove an unfamiliar book into the backpack, “You bought a new book?” you ask absentmindedly, more focused on brushing the knots out of your wet hair. You felt like a brand-new person, freshly washed, smelling a little less like dried blood and sweat after the incident from the day before.
You’d washed your hands at the previous inn, but the stench of blood had lingered, even then you don’t know if that was your mind playing tricks on you. The wound still fresh as you think back on the good times with your pretty kitty.
You wondered if you were okay, feeling so numb to the fact that another companion of yours had died. That was the third one in under two years. You thought you would have cried more, wanting to lock yourself away from everyone else a wallow in self-pity until your head hurts and your skin is dry from the salty tears. But you felt the opposite, wanting to finally go out and explore. Maybe you were a shitty person for moving on so fast, but maybe it was for the better. Or maybe that was a smaller part of you trying to convince yourself it was all okay when in reality it really wasn’t.
You could only hope that your cat would have a better life when reborn. That would be enough to let you sleep peacefully at night.
Jungkook hums, “Something about the history of this land”
You nod, never having been fond of history. It felt a little a little unconventional, why would you focus so much on what has already happened when you have the whole future to look forward to?
“I was thinking we could go out for lunch; I saw a nice place on my walk this morning” Jungkook turns towards you, happy with how far down he’d been able to stuff his book into the bag.
He doubted you’d ever rummage through his stuff, seeming more content with him riffling through the bag to get clean clothes or a snack. But better to safe than sorry. Especially since it was becoming evident you could read now; he would hate for his plans to be ruined because he was kind enough to share his knowledge with you.
“Sure” you reply, handing him the hairbrush to be put back neatly into the bag.
Jungkook was right, the small building the two of you had entered was more than nice. It even had two floors! (The owner explaining it had been inspired by building from the countries overseas who had places to eat with more than the ground floor like the hanoks) The outside was lined with small flowers, vines clinging to the walls, climbing their way up to the balconies above the ground floor.
You don’t ask when Jungkook requests the private balcony area on the second floor, assuming it was so the two of you could eat comfortably without worrying someone would try and hand you into the royal family or freaking out because Jungkook had four arms.
You watch the bustling streets, watching some kids play a game you weren’t familiar with, a few stealing loose fruits from crates, giggling as a few elderly people chase after them.
You wonder if that is what a real childhood looked like. All the children in the capital seemed so happy, happy with their parents and siblings, happy with their lives. The perfect life you could only ever have dreamt of becoming a reality.
You wouldn’t say you were jealous. If you hadn’t left the home you’d grown up in, your life would have been completely different. Your friend would still be alive, maybe you would have married by now. His father wouldn’t have approved, but you supposed you could have run away together. If you’d run away would the outcome, be the same? Would he have died because he had married a spy? You suppose he wouldn’t have been safe either way.
Regret is a fickle thing. There have been so many moments in your recent life where you wish you could just go back and change what has happened. You wouldn’t care if the future was different, that is something the you of then would have figure out. Because the you of now wanted to go back and change all the times something had led to the death of someone you loved so dearly.
You would convince your friend to stay home, he wouldn’t have died a brutal death. You would tell Taehyung he shouldn’t go down to the village, you’d go alone because if you could survive the disease once you could do it again and then he would still be by your side. You’d have taken lil meow down with you to breakfast the other morning, that way you’d still have your furry companion.
You regret not knowing, which in hindsight sounds stupid because how were you meant to know all of these bad bad things would happen? And it was easy to feel sorry for yourself, and the small, selfish part of you thinks that you feeling sorry for yourself if justified. Because why were you still alive and they weren’t?
Maybe you regret being born, you didn’t really have much say in the matter, but maybe it would have been better if you hadn’t tried so hard all your life to stay alive. Fighting tooth and nail to survive in a world that clearly didn’t want or need you.
If you hadn’t been born you wouldn’t be a bad omen to those around you, and everyone you’ve ever loved wouldn’t be dead. Jungkook may have been a special case, born blessed as a being that is unable to die. And maybe that’s why you stayed, because no matter how unlucky you may be, Jungkook would never fall into the hands of death because of you.
If you hadn’t been selfish, childish, then the poor cat would still be alive. Roaming the mountains free of burden. If you hadn’t been selfish and wanted to spend just a few more moments with your friend you’re your childhood, he wouldn’t have suffered an unjustified death. If you hadn’t agreed to stay in the hanbok, then maybe Taehyung could have waited out the winter with what food you’d eaten, and neither of you would have contracted a disease. He would still be alive and happy, carefree as he carries on the same routine he had for years without you coming and interrupting his peaceful life with his friend.
“Y/n?” Jungkook calls you, tugging at the sleeves of your cloak to catch your attention.
Your eyes flit up to meet his own.
“Are you okay?”
You hum, waving him off with a quick smile. It was easy to smile while looking at Jungkook’s face. Maybe it was because you didn’t want him to worry, so a smile was easy, or maybe Jungkook just had that affect. Such a nice face that you have no other choice but to smile too brightly at him. Or maybe you smile because you don’t want him to ask too many questions that you yourself don’t know the answer to.
He watches you for a moment longer, trying to gauge if you were lying or not. But then he sees your eyes light up at the array of food laid out on the table before the two of you.
“You bought so much” you mutter in awe.
“Well, aren’t you going to eat?” he asks, nudging a pair of chopsticks into your hands.
You nod slowly, “I’m trying to engrave what it looks like into my mind”
Jungkook laughs, a fond smile on his face as he just watches you, “No need, we’ll just come back in a few months and eat here again” he tells you, easy smile on his face.
“Okay” you grin.
Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow when you push yourself from the cushion on the floor, feet light as you skip your way over to his side of the table.
You lean down, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you for the food, Jungkookie” you smile.
Jungkook feels his heart stop, his fingers moving on their own as they wrap around your wrist.
Your head tilts in question, your breath hitching when he pulls on your wrist, so you’ve leant down once again.
You bite your lip to stop the big smile that threatened to pull onto your face when he presses a kiss onto the apple of your right cheek.
“You’re welcome, my lovely” he replies, motioning for you to go and sit down, “Now hurry and eat before the food gets cold”
“Yes sir” you mock salute, giggling when Jungkook rolls his eyes, tone teasing as he tells you to hurry up and sit down.
+++
You grip onto the sleeve of Jungkook’s cloak when a large group of people move in a clump down the narrow street.
You look up at Jungkook in confusion, ready to ask if he knew why so many people were moving in tandem, but your mouth clamps shut when you see the annoyed crease in his brows.
“Burn the demons!” a burly looking man shouts, the posse of people following him repeating his words with just as much enthusiasm.
Jungkook pulls you back into his chest when a new wave of civilians shove their way down the street, although their movements lack the mesmerising movements like the sea’s waves crashing against the shore, more shoulders bumping shoulders, the delicate crash of the waves replaced with grunts as they all bounce off one another.
“What’s going on?” you ask, voice raising in hopes that Jungkook would be able to hear you.
Either he does, or choses to ignore you as his fingers take a hold of your hand, dragging you into a narrow alley way beside the building the two of you had just had lunch in. You try and pull your hand from Jungkook’s fingers feeling as though they were going to snap with how tightly he was holding your hand.
“Jungkook what’s going on?” you ask, voice a little breathy as you try and catch up with Jungkook’s long strides.
The demon slows down a little, apologetic furrow of his brows as he watches you try and catch your breath, “They must be protesting” he mutters, and you simply nod.
“Against demons?” you ask, watching Jungkook release a long sigh.
“I should have told you” he turns towards you, “Not all demons are kind, my love. Some do bad things, and so they get punished” he explains, hoping the worry evident in his tone is enough to convince you of this white lie. It was technically half the truth, but you didn’t need to know the full problem, you losing your memories of what happened the night years back had already helped him move forwards in his plan.
As long as you believed it was the same year, where you were a wanted spy, and he was a harmless demon that was worshiped by all then everything would be okay. His plan would continue to run smoothly and then he could hold you in his arms without worrying about trivial human matters like death.
“Was there a bad demon here then?” you ask, worried you’d get caught in-between the conflict.
Jungkook nods, hand coming to rest on his chin as if in thought, “It seems so, we should head back to the inn for the rest of the day, just in case”
“That’s probably a good idea” you agree.
Jungkook takes a step before stopping. You make a noise in the back of your throat in question, watching as he releases your hand, turning to face you as he rummages through the pockets of his cloak.
Your head tilts up to look into his eyes when he pulls what looks to be a small pocketknife from the confines of his cloak.
“What?” you ask when he thrusts it in your direction.
“Just in case something happens and I’m not there, you’ll be able to protect yourself” he leans down to take a hold of your right hand, placing the pocketknife into your palm.
Your left hand traces the intricate design of the handle, wood having been carved out into small delicate flowers, painted with so much care there were no smudges or random pieces of colour bleeding into one another. It truly was pretty, like nothing you’d ever seen before.
“Jungkook I—I can’t” you shake your head, not daring to sheath the actual blade.
“You know I’ll always be by your side to protect you, but just in case” he pushes your hand away when you try to give it back, “Please, I’ll be able to rest easy knowing that if anything were to happen to me, you’d at least be able to put up a fight”
You swallow, eyes flitting back down to the pocketknife before you look back at Jungkook. Even with the warm afternoon sun being obscured by the roofs of buildings, in the dingy alleyway that was nothing more than grey cobblestone, greened with moss and small weeds, Jungkook looked so pretty. He looked so calm, unlike how he had been moment ago in the street. You sometimes wonder if he had lied about being a demon, he looked nothing like the scary beings that old wives’ tales made them out to be. Maybe he truly fell from the sky, an angel sent to help guide you in life.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he scoffs, finger pushing at your forehead.
You sigh, “I was imagining what I could do with this thing” you dangle the offending weapon between your thumb and forefinger
Jungkook laughs at that, “You can’t kill a demon with a measly knife” he waves you off, easily slipping his fingers between your own as he pulls you out the alleyway.
“Then how am I meant to defend myself”
“That’s what I’m here for”
“But you just—”
Jungkook presses a finger against your lips, “I’ll always be there for you, but it never hurts to have a back-up plan”
+++
You’d been thinking for a few days about the conversation you’d had with Namjoon about the part of your life that you felt, had gone missing. Maybe you were paranoid, or just plain stupid. Or maybe you imagined the incident that happened in the village. Or you were overthinking everything. All seemed like possible answers but no matter how hard you try to remember, you can only ever think back to the moments before the rocks had been thrown at you, enamoured by how intricately made the wooden bunny was.
And then blank. You couldn’t recall anything after that. Like it never happened. Seeming swallowed into a blackhole, making no sign of ever returning.
You faintly remember a dream, but after the first day of waking up it had been pushed to the furthest corner of your mind, Taehyung’s death taking up most of your thoughts. And whenever you try and think back to it now, you can only seem to remember how fresh the air had felt, and the soft scratching of golden grass on the backs of your hands as you wandered into the horizon. The sky a bright blue that otherwise hurt your eyes, a dull pain in the back of your head that would return when you would think too hard about what may have happened in your dream.
Nothing adds up.
It had been winter the day you’d gone down to the village with Taehyung, you were sure of that, you remembered how soft the scarf was Taehyung had gifted you, a gift for your first winter spent with himself and Jungkook. And if what Jungkook had said was correct; that you’d been passed out for only a few weeks, then there was no way it should have been that far into the spring once you’d woken up. Flowers in full bloom, sun not shying behind the clouds throughout the day.
But why would Jungkook lie?
Your fingers gently brush over your cheek, contemplating whether it was possible for such a deep gash to heal in such a short amount of time, with no evidence left behind. No scar, no tender tissue or discoloration. You’d woken up like nothing had happened. Maybe that was common? But as a child such a deep wound would take months to fully heal.
He wouldn’t lie, would he?
You fall onto your back, mattress cushioning your fall. Your head turns towards the door of the inn room, Jungkook’s large backpack coming into view.
Maybe he kept a diary like Taehyung did?
Jungkook had gone out for a walk that morning, whispering to you while you battled between staying asleep or finally waking up, sun peeking in through the windows, encouraging you to peel your eyes open. You’d hummed and waved him off when he asked if you wanted to join him. And that was less than an hour ago.
He did say he would be gone for a few hours… that would leave you with more than enough time to quickly snoop through his bag and see if he was hiding anything.
You felt a little bad because you knew that looking through people’s stuff was wrong. Really wrong. And you think Jungkook would be disappointed if he ever found out you’d gone and peeped into the bag while he was gone. But, if you wanted to figure out the anomalies in your life, Jungkook may be the perfect place to start.
You don’t know what you would do if you ever found out he was actually lying to you, and that’s why you pause when your fingers make contact with the bag.
Whatwould you do?
Maybe it’s better you never know.
Or maybe Jungkook had done nothing wrong, and you were being paranoid. What if he found out you’d gone through his stuff, and kicked you out of his home? Left you stranded, leaving you to fend for yourself. You both knew that was impossible, your best bet would be to hide in the forests, no one usually ventured into the woodland. Although, you doubted you’d be able to survive of wild berries alone, the thought of having to kill an animal making you feel squeamish.
Then what? You’re back to square one where you die alone, unwanted by another person?
You swallow.
But what if he never found out?
What if he never found out and you got the answers you were looking for? It would be easy to put everything back in the backpack the way you’d taken it out, and it’s not like he would notice miniscule changes in the packing.
You look at the door, waiting to see if he would walk in. When he doesn’t, you turn back to the backpack, fingers deftly pulling the strings open.
You carefully remove the layer of folded clothes, placing them neatly beside you. Soap, hairbrush, sack of apples, more clothes, a map. (What you fail to notice is his ‘history’ book wasn’t in the confines of his bag, because who would need a book on history when you plan to buy supplies?)
Your shoulders slump forwards when you find nothing. No notebooks, no pieces of paper with anything written on them, nothing. You even look into the pockets, nothing.
With a defeated sigh, you start to pile everything back into the bag, only praying that you were putting them all back in the correct order and hadn’t messed up.
You tie the top of the bag, pushing yourself up off of the floor.
Deciding you’d take a break in your investigation, breakfast sounded really good right around now. So, you skip downstairs with Taehyung’s notebook secured under your arm.
“Morning!” the inn owner calls out to you, smiling as you plop yourself down at one of the bar stools.
“Good morning, do you have some ink and a quill?” you ask, thanking the woman when she tells you she’ll be right back.
Your legs swing back and forth as you wait, peering around the room.
“Do you know where Namjoon is?” you ask when she places the ink in-front of you.
“Said he was going to check on the horses, he already ate so I imagine he wouldn’t be back until lunch time” she replies.
You nod, opening a new page in Taehyung’s notebook.
You flip back one page, checking the latest date, making sure you had the year correct.
Taehyung’s latest entry had been November 1859, written the day before the two of you planned to visit the village. You didn’t read too much of what was written, respecting that it was Taehyung’s private thoughts, although from what you caught a glimpse of, it spoke of the things you both needed to buy in the village.
You supposed if it was already spring then it must be 1860, which further confuses you. Deciding to brush off the suffocating feeling that consumed your body, your tongue pokes out as you figure out exactly what you want to write.
“1860? That was a while ago wasn’t it… I hadn’t even opened the inn yet. Do you plan to write a novel?” the inn owner asks you.
You look at her with wide eyes, “A while ago?” you ask, confusion heavy in your voice.
She nods, “Yes, I heard novels of recent history are popular these days, with the new king rising to power”
“What year is it now?”
“This year it would be 1865”
“Right now? It’s 1865?”
She nods, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you start to flick through the pages of Taehyung’s diary.
“Are you okay dear?” she asks.
Your head shoots up to look into her eyes, “Yes!” you slam the notebook shut, “I’ll be back in a minute”
“But my—your breakfast!”
“I’ll come back for it” you call out to her as you sprint up the stairs, lungs squeezing for air as you push open the door to yours and Jungkook’s room.
You fall onto the bed, careful as you pull open Taehyung’s notebook once more.
When you said you had never lied to Jungkook, that was a lie in itself. You learning how to read and write so well was meant to be a surprise. You wanted to show Jungkook how quickly you’d progressed in both skills, how you’d practiced with Taehyung while doing chores, and sometimes you’d dream of studying certain characters that you found difficult.
You did plan to surprise him when you got back to the hanok, maybe by asking if you could read to him before bed, not the other way round.
You flick to Taehyung’s most recent entry once more.
[November 1859;
Tomorrow me and y/n]
Your eyes zero on your own name. That was definitely your name.
If you’d been with them in 1859, how was it currently 1865?
You knew you hadn’t had the best gauge of how much time you’d spent with them but basing it off the seasons it shouldn’t have been more than a year. It definitely hadn’t been a year since Taehyung died. If you’d woken up weeks after the incident, then Taehyung shouldn’t have been dead for more than a month.
Taehyung wouldn’t have written the date wring so many times, would he?
From the few times you’d been in his room it seemed he kept more than one notebook. When you’d first met him and asked what he would write down every other day or so, he had told you about his habit of writing. How he liked to document special moments in his life so he could go back and read about his past in years to come.
How likely was it that he had gotten the years wrong all this time?
Taehyung was quite a meticulous person, not the type of person to guess a date and go with it. He was particular about small details like that.
You chew on the nail of your thumb, but why would Jungkook lie?
Say it hadn’t been weeks, and it had actually been years.
How were you alive? Without food or water surely, you would have died. If it had been 6 years, then how come you hadn’t aged at all?
That would explain how the wounds you had gotten from the village boys would have fully healed, but nothing else made sense.
You slam Taehyung’s notebook shut when the room door opens. Your heartrate speeding up as Jungkook saunters into the room. You look at him with wide eyes, swallowing thickly as he roves his eyes over your body.
You see his eyes slightly narrow, as if trying to gauge what you were doing before he came into the room.
“What were you going?” he finally asks, eyes trained on the notebook tightly clasped by your fingers, his own tightening on the woven bag in his hands.
You stay silent for a moment, mind racing a mile a minute as you try to find a decent lie. Something believable enough that he wouldn’t ask any more questions, because your heart felt seconds away from beating right through your chest with how hard it was pounding against your ribcage.
“Jungkookie?” you eventually say, tone a little sweeter than usual.
He looks up at your face, head cocking to the side in question.
“I have a request”
“Only if you answer my question” he prods, clearly unsatisfied with turn of conversation.
“It is about that actually” you look down at your lap, fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt, “I was looking through Tae’s list, and he says the royal palace is really beautiful”
Jungkook is silent for a moment, and you keep your eyes trained in your lap, scared that if you were to look into his eyes, you would spill everything you had discovered within the last hour.
“Is that all?” he eventually asks, easy smile on his face; because you were just too adorable. Of course he would take you sight-seeing if that’s what you really wanted, nothing to be embarrassed about.
You nod, breathing a sigh of relief when he agrees.
“Let me just put this stuff away” he says, “Then we can leave”
You watch him pull the book he had purchased the day prior from a woven bag, your eyes narrowing when there is nothing written on the cover of it.
“Jungkook?” you ask, he hums, not turning towards you as he tries to shove it further inside the bag, “Is that history book interesting? I think I want to try reading harder books now, not just children’s poems.”
Jungkook pauses, eyes meeting yours briefly before he turns to the backpack once more.
“I don’t think you’d like this one, love. The vocabulary is hard, even for me” he explains.
You hum in understanding, deciding it was best not to prod any further.
“Ready to go?” Jungkook stands up, hand stretching out to help pull you up from the bed.
“Yeah, I still have to eat breakfast before we go”
Jungkook sniggers at that, nudging your shoulder as he tells you how breakfast is the most important meal of the day and that it was closer to lunch time now than it was breakfast.
You shrug, explaining that even breakfast can be eaten at lunch sometimes.
+++
How well did you truly know Jeon Jungkook? Why had it taken you so long to ask this question?
You knew it was because he was the closest person you would get in this life that would always be a constant. He liked you, he couldn’t die, so why would he leave you? Just like yourself he had no one else in this world. And maybe you were cowardice, projecting your own insecurities and fears onto him, but it was true was it not?
Loneliness was simultaneously the best and worst thing that could happen to a human. It was a valid fear, as humans were social creatures that overall worked better as a team than in solitude. Two pairs of hands are always going to be better than one and being able to confide in another person should be second nature, because no one should have to deal with their pain alone when they had so many that cared for them.
Loneliness however can force you to learn to love your own company. If there is no one else around, you can only rely on yourself. And at the end of the day, you are the only constant in your life. Forced to fend for yourself, live for you, and you only.
But that scared you, what was living if it wasn’t for other people? Forced to marinate in your own thoughts, figure out your own feelings and live just because you want to or feel obligated to because you were given life so maybe you should live it out for a while.
Unless you’re Jeon Jungkook. He never seemed alone.
You believed that you would stay with him for a long time, because he had nowhere else to go just like yourself. And wherever he went, you think you would follow, because you were scared of being alone. Scared of the solitude that some found comfort in.
But why would you blindly follow him? Because he was kind enough to house you? Feed you? Put a roof over your head and help you develop skills that otherwise you would have no resources to do so? Even if he had been lying to you, deceiving you even.
If Jeon Jungkook was a colour, he would be grey. Muted, his character unimposing until you peel back the layers upon layers that he shields his being with only to find black. Onyx. A dark plain that can only be described as Jeon Jungkook, the ghost of a hand pulling you into his warm embrace until you settle down and thin sticky vines trap you beside him with no escape, remaining by his side for the rest of his eternal life.
Even with a small crack in what is Jeon Jungkook, a lie exposed to you, you chose not to say anything.
Why?
Because he’s familiar, and you’re scared of being alone.
Why would you willingly fall headfirst into a spiral of solitude when you could remain by his side, acting oblivious as he plays you like a puppet. Chipping away at your very being until you’re too warn down, leaning on him for support like he had planned from the start. He’s never hurt you, his caress gentle, and words sweeter than fresh honey or sugar cane. Blindly guiding you further into his abyss, steps away from the point of no return.
But you’re okay with that. Willingly holding onto him like he holds onto you, like the two of you are the only two left in the world, needing nothing more than each other to survive.
Now you find yourself at a crossroad. Why walk down the path of loneliness when you could walk down the path towards Jungkook, who happily waits for you at the end of the road with his arms wide open? It seemed obvious which path you would choose. And maybe you were spineless, allowing someone you barely knew to swing you around like a doll on some strings instead of facing your fears.
Maybe Jungkook was scared of being alone too. You’d never considered living an eternal life, simply living day to day hoping you’ll wake up tomorrow. But you worry how lonely he would feel if you were to ever leave him, a twinge of empathy flaring up at just the thought of it. Left to live alone for the rest of time. If you could live together, without the fear of desolation… walking the ways of life hand in hand with no one but each other.
And that’s why as you shut the book stuffed away inside the lower depth of Jungkook’s bag, you say nothing. Washing away what you had read from your mind, smiling happily when the demon re-enters the room, freshly washed, looking like the epitome of ethereal as he flops onto the bed, beckoning you to come over with a kiss to your cheeks, his own flushed the prettiest shade of dusty rosy, pink.
Summary: Sometimes the universe has a personal vendetta against us. Or well… you in this case. You didn’t ask to go on a hunt across the universe to collect your broken pieces of soul, and you certainly didn’t expect to become aquatinted to 7 people (8 times over) along the way, finding a new home with each of them even if each version were so different across the planets in the vast universe.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destination one of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Aliferous
☆Definition:Having wings; winged.
Paring: Jung Hoseok x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:puppeteer au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: Waking up in an unfamiliar world is one hard pill to swallow, being told your time was limited and you had find a piece of your cracked soul was even worse, paired with the fact that the people in Gardenia were convinced you were an angel sent from above to help them with the recent dilemma.
Series masterlist : Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destination two of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Stellify
ﾟ☆Definition:[transitive verb] to turn into or as if into a star : place among the stars
Pairing:Min Yoongi x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:19th century au||jack the ripper au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series masterlist: Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Desitantion three of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Hiraeth
ﾟ☆Definition:[NOUN]: deep longing for something, especially one’s home
Pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:mafia au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series masterlist: Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destination four of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Thalassophile
ﾟ☆Definition:anyone who loves the sea and the ocean.
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:daechwita au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series masterlist: Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destinationfive of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Peregrinate
ﾟ☆Definition:[VERB] travel or wander around from place to place.
Pairing: Park Jimin x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:hybrid au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series mastlist: Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destinationsix of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Solandis
ﾟ☆ Definition: a delicate flower
Pairing: Kim Seokjin x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:prince au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series masterlist: Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destinationseven of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Cosmogyral
ﾟ☆Definition:whirling around the universe.
Pairing: Kim Namjoon x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:alien au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series masterlist: Coming Soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destinationeight of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Serendipity
ﾟ☆Definition: [NOUN] the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.
Pairing: OT7 x reader
Genre:idol trainee au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers
Genre: fantasy au || Isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers ||
Series summary: Sometimes the universe has a personal vendetta against us. Or well.. you in this case. You didn’t ask to go on a hunt across the universe to collect your broken pieces of soul, and you certainly didn’t expect to become acquainted with 7 people (8 times over), finding home with each of them even if each version were so different across the planets in the vast universe.
Prologue word count: 784 words.
tags and warnings: will be added above each chapter.
Notes: this is going to be a long long long project. i’ve had the idea to do this series for years and now that my platform has grown a little (and i’m not a 13 year old whose grammar and writing is iffy) i think i’m ready to finally take on the challenge. each ‘destination’ will have multiple parts so its basically 8 series within the map of the soul series. chapters may be a little shorter than my other series/ writing just so i can keep a schedule and update regularly and its easier than writing 10k every week to two weeks.
soul | səʊl | noun 1 the spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal, regarded as immortal. • a person’s moral or emotional nature or sense of identity
The soul is one of the many components that make us… ‘us’. You and me alike; one of the fundamental pieces of any living being, be it beast or man. What is a body without a soul? or better yet, a soul without a body?
The simple answer: an empty shell, a ticking time bomb where each second is uncertain. Because the ‘you’ of this world is connected to the souls of the other versions of ‘you’ wherever they may be. And like any good story there is often a flaw in the system. And in each millennium, there is one unlucky person that the dilemma is forced upon. And they’re unaware of it until it’s too late.
The multiverse has never been a concept the people of our world took seriously, their focus on science and the development of technology that has, and will never be able to fully explain the worlds that live beyond us. It’s easy to depict a rough outline of what the multiverse may be like in far-fetched action-packed superhero movies. But they are only partially accurate, the concept of the multiverse lacking because no one in the world has actually met their counterparts. It’s impossible. That’s the universe’s first hidden rule about the soul.
Because souls are tricky things, in the making of a person, one soul is assigned to them, split up like slices of a tangerine and handed off to each of ‘you’ from a different timeline. An invisible string connecting each of you to each other, a way for each of you to never meet, a map being sketched out to pinpoint where each fragment of soul has landed and where exactly it is in the universe.
So, they’re all ‘you’ but each version is slightly different. Because environment has as much of an affect as genetic make-up and the characteristics that are imbedded within your soul. It’s expected that a soul is split and spread across multiple timelines, universes, places, another of the many hidden rules engraved into the universe.
However, every so often a problem occurs. Sometimes there’s only one body, one universe and one timeline, one place with multiple pieces of fragmented soul. When the soul cracks, a slice of that soul is assigned to one body, the other pieces being abandoned across the universe where the other versions of ‘you’ are meant to be but never were. And this poses as a problem, because slowly your body will start to pull the fragmented pieces of soul in, as each piece tries to weave its way into at least one version of you. They were assigned to you for a reason.
Either one of two things happen, the better option is: you are forgotten. With only one version of you, you don’t have your intended impact on your timeline and slowly those that you love and the current world that you’ve grown up in will forget you ever even existed. Slowly your body will start to break down, your reason for living slowly dwindling until the universe decides that you are a waste of space. Your lost pieces of soul slowly start absorbing back into the abyss ready to be regenerated into another being. And so, the only version of ‘you’ will slowly deteriorate. Until you are no more.
The second outcome is the worse of the two. Each fragment will try and pull you into its timeline, to absorb into the only version of you that exists in the world. And having multiple parts of a soul doesn’t pose as a problem, because they have technically achieved their intended purpose in being a part of ‘you’. However, for your fragmented pieces of soul to be absorbed, time warps, something akin to a black hole forming. And as your body is pulled in multiple directions at once, your limbs will be ripped from your body, and ultimately you die an excruciating death where no one knows what happened. You vanish from the face of the earth.
There is a solution to this problem. And more often than not the outcome isn’t favourable. How were you ever meant to know you were the unlucky one, whose soul had been shattered and left to lay stagnant because there is only one ‘you’?
And it seems that you are the unlucky one of this millennia that will face the consequences of the universes mistake.
Hopefully someone has the map of your soul so each of your fragments can be retrieved before you’re either forgotten or ripped to shreds by the universe.
Fox Hybrid! Jin, Human! Namjoon, Human! Yoongi, Wolf Hybrid! Hoseok, Cat Hybrid! Jimin, Wolf Hybrid! Taehyung, Fox Hybrid! Jungkook
Genre: Hybrid AU || Fluff || Angst || Smut/ implied smut || Strangers to lovers AU || Best friends to lovers AU
Summary: All Jin can think to do is try and kiss it all better.
Word count: 7.6k
Tags/ warnings: blood is mentioned a lot, lots of crying, angst/ comfort (it’s more comfort), fluffy-ish, violence (but its deserved), the pain if finally over, hybrid mistreatment, me thinks that is all
Notes: second to last chapter lets gooooo. i also planned for like super soft smut in the next chapter, like a cute way to end the series but oh my god the cringe, jail time, will never see the light of day. so idk if there will be which im pissed about and i’m too scared to ask someone for help :’( and i’m shy but i’m open to suggestions! i’ve also been stressed because i have to write a graduation speech and my brain has fully stopped working so this chapter is a lil late and i’m a tiny bit unhappy with it because i feel like something is missing but my brain is fried.
précis— somewhere in your heart, there laid a list of reasons you fell in love with your best friend Seokjin. a mixture of his looks and mannerisms littered the imaginary list. two things that most definitely were not on the list were Jin’s empty promises and cold words. though you vowed to be content with being friends with benefits with Jin, you couldn’t stop the list from taunting you. mocking you for loving a man that seems inacapable of loving you back.
pairing— welcome to bangtan!jin x best friend!yn
warnings— reader is head over heels for jin :( , jin is.. problematic hahaa
coming soon ♡
a/n— taglist is open ofc☺️ and bc its been a minute pls lmk if u would like to be taken off of the permanent taglist <3 aand lastlyy, what do u think ‘PDLM’ stands forr????
précis— somewhere in your heart, there laid a list of reasons you fell in love with your best friend Seokjin. a mixture of his looks and mannerisms littered the imaginary list. two things that most definitely were not on the list were Jin’s empty promises and cold words. though you vowed to be content with being friends with benefits with Jin, you couldn’t stop the list from taunting you. mocking you for loving a man that seems inacapable of loving you back.
pairing— welcome to bangtan!jin x best friend!yn
warnings— reader is head over heels for jin :( , jin is.. problematic hahaa
coming soon ♡
a/n— taglist is open ofc☺️ and bc its been a minute pls lmk if u would like to be taken off of the permanent taglist <3 aand lastlyy, what do u think ‘PDLM’ stands forr????
Warnings-rich Jin, little space reader, hybrid reader, needy reader, light teasing, caregiver Jin
Jin loved to take swim.
He lived for the rush of the biting cold on his back and shoulders. The water felt like freshly spun silk suavely gliding against his skin. The weightless feeling he got seeing his world turn blue when he dove down to the bottom of the cobalt waters was unparalleled.
That was the main reason he added the pool feature to his penthouse in the sky. Jin had champagne dreams and champagne money to enjoy every furlong of the finer side of life where the grass was greener and the air was cleaner. Afterall, one does not become a cardiothoracic surgeon to not live lavishly.
He lived on the top floor for the view of the blue distant mountains far beyond the dull monochromatic black cityscape. The mountains were serrated, their broken whitecapped peaks and domes shrouded in fine early morning mist. The swirling peach clouds among the mauve sky made a striking contrast . This was nature’s palate in perfect juxtaposition.
The early morning sun worked magic on the water,turning it into a thousand glittering sapphires among the grey deck tiles on the veranda. The water subsumed colour from the sky, changing it to an astonishing lilac.
Jin dived deeply into the water, hearing the muffled sloshing as he breached. The dive sent glittering arcs of spray that fell back into the pool. He opened his eyes, seeing a yellow and black striped figure seemingly rippling at the water’s edge.
He propelled himself to the surface. He wiped water off his face and blinking the chlorine away. He breathed in deeply, blowing water out of his nose. Even doing the most mundane of things, Jin Iooked fabulous. He flicked his wet hair back, eyes smoky like onyx and focused on you. The water beads rolling off his body creating a glossy polish over him. He was a polished marble Adonis in the first light of day.
He was watching you pacing and meowing at the pool’s edge, softly and pathetically calling out for him.He splashed the water invitingly watching you mewl at him, a pair of needy emerald eyes staring at him wanting early morning cuddles. “Come on babygirl! Come swim with Appa! Come on you can do it!"
You shook your head, pawing at the tiles cutely. You wanted him to come to you. "Aish, a wildcat who can’t swim.” He teased, paddling over to you. His broad shoulders submerging and reappearing to reveal modestly rippling biceps. The long, graceful breast strokes created satisfying swish-swash noises.
Of all the wild, ravishing adventures his lifestyle allowed, his favourite journey was the one that led him to you. He had first met you when you and a handful of exotic tropical hybrids had been brought to the hospital.You had been smuggled in to be sold for your pelt, the ocelot fur had become a rare luxury now with the near extinction of your kind. He’d done a minor repair to your cardiac septum when you were in human form and then he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.
You’d shifted back to a tiny ocelot form by the time he’d made post-up rounds the following morning. It scared him when he didn’t find you in your bed. He searched the bathroom and the halls before moving to call a security code. Blue was for missing patients but you were so frail and unhealthy you were getting machines from the NICU. If he called pink security would find you faster if they understood the situation. He was hovering over the phone dial when your tail wrapped delicately around his wrist and he swooned.
You were still patched up, a tiny cut over your right eye and bandages down your middle. You were a tiny Ocelot. You weren’t an Ocelot,“you’re an Oce-little!” He chuckled to himself, clacking the phone down onto the receiver.
You recovered well, getting all your nutrition in the right amount and copius amounts of love and attention. The cardio nurses cooed at your interactions, your happy drawback to your hind legs and the tackling of his stethoscope. You’d pounce on his shoes, and he pretended your blunt teeth and puny claws hurt him and his L.V. loafers.
It broke him to leave you for surgeries, especially as you cried into your pillow waiting for him. You kept thinking he was abandoning you. Jin loved cool rare surgeries, it’s what put his name on the map but they were so long. He couldn’t put you in the theatre, not his baby. He’d begun leaving you clothes and toys and pictures of him before he left for surgeries.
It was no surprise when he adopted you. There was minimal resistance from authorities once he’d lined pockets enough. He signed some papers to make it official and got same day approval to bring you home.
You’d never left his sight since. Jin insisted that you be carried everywhere, your legs just weren'tstrong enough yet (no cub let Appa take you to the playroom…cub you’re just not strong enough let Appa feed his baby…uh uh Cub can sleep with Appa tonight- Appa needs to monitor your heart rate). His cub needed him to carry her around like a baby bundled in blankets or with the stretchy carrier scarf meang for infants. It let him manoeuvre around the home tidying and relaxing while xou were swaddled and wrapped against his chest.
Jin cooked for himself most days, only sending for the Chef on days he worked late. He tried to keep those days to a minimum having read enough literature to tell him key parts of hybrid health was linked to being near their human. The baby carrier was the best investment he made so far. Being without you for long times still drove him crazy, needing go check the cub cams around the apartment every opportunity he got. It mainly was footage of you sleeping in sunshine or rolling around on his pillow but it tided him over till he returned to you.
“ Come here, kitten, Appa doesn’t want your collar to get wet.” He pet your head, scratching the spot between your ears, hearing you purr deeply. You rolled onto your back showing him your tummy which he graciously tickled. He propped up on the edge of the pool letting you play with his fingers, nomming on Appa’s fingers softly with your lips.
He knew you were feeling particularly small today, making a mental note to warm some milk for you for breakfast.
He unfastened your collar, setting it on the towels he’d laid out. You licked his nose softly, giving him your version of gentle kisses. Jin laughed squeakily, gloriously happy that his cub could join him. “My turn.” He kissed your forehead softly,pulling away to watch you spin around excitedly. Jin cooed softly, eyes beaming down at you.
“My precious cub. I love you baby. Now don’t drink the pool water okay?
You sank in slowly, barely making keeping your head above the water and paddling over to Appa. Jin could almost cry from sheer happiness. He cheered for you, swimming over to you then ducking underwater to pick you up close to his chest. "My brave little one! Oh! I’m so proud of you, my cub."
Jinkook is one of my recent favorite ships– they are so goofy and fun, and I love the “age gap couple” concept. Also there are so so many wonderful fics about this pairing!!
hummingbyCaptainButts – ahhhhhhhhhhh making this fic rec inspired me to reread this and its SO GOOD omg every part of this fic is just good and I dont want to give it away so just readd it
Fake Sugarbyminverse – OKAY so this is just amazing on so many levels it is the perfect balance of humor and angst and Other Things it is def worth ur while
okay that is it for now, but I am always on the lookout for more jinkook so I will hopefully be back soon with another one of these! also to all of you who have sent rec/fic requests i am sorry for the delays but I am working on them right now! as always if you have a pairing you want me to rec chances are I have at least several bookmarks so ask away!
➼ premise. the last time you saw seokjin was when he went off to college and never looked back. uncle kim, a friend of your father who treated you like his own daughter, would complain about his estranged son whenever he came to visit in the new year and got drunk and turned into a pathetic sobbing mess.
that scared the fuck out of you because who knew old people could look so ugly when they’re crying over their child whom they neglected for the most part of his life?
well, that child grew up into a fine young man.
fine enough to afford a sugar baby.
➼ muses. seokjin x reader
➼ genre. ceo au. sugar daddy-baby au. college au. eventual established relationship. eventual housewife!reader. eventual husband!seokjin. eventual parents au.
➼ words. 19k
➼ warnings. 9 year age gap, multiple explicit scenes, innuendos, depictions of breeding kink, bondage, they’re both horny as fuck.
x
to say you’ve never given much thought for love, for loving or for being loved—would be a big, utterly fat, fucking lie. the fairytales and happy endings you grew up reading planted stars in your eyes and now you’re blind.
not because of love. fuck,no.
but because the meteor crash lands into your very existence and wipes away all traces of that little girl with starry eyes and a beating heart. in its place, rises a woman from the ashes of what she once was.
hearts are fickle little things. they love and they change their course and they find another sea to fall in love all over again.
not yours though. you keep yours locked up in a pretty little chest with gold ornaments carved into them.
when the boys you meet become featureless, blank canvases with the same old lustrous glint in their eyes, you turn to older men. and when even that fades away like the ashes they’ll be burned into in less than five years, you look for another source of entertainment.
“i’m so bored,” cliche, but true, “men are boring.”
“have you tried the taste of a forbidden cherry?” jennie kim smiles coquettishly, her eyeliner making her eyes appear more catty than they are.
“i can’t form emotional bonds with girls either, i tried,” you sigh.
“silly little petal,” she laughs.
“why are you talking like that?” you quiz, throwing your gaze in her direction but jennie simply struts your way like the small distance between you and the couch is a runaway.
“if you can’t feel love, doesn’t mean you can’t feel anything else, does it?” she insinuates, pushing her phone in your hand.
the screen is lit with a gold and black layout with multiple pictures of suited bodies—some are a bit tight and some fit just right. and on top of the screen, in fancy cursive, the words sugarlite winks at you tantalizingly.
“what’s this?” you blink.
“your new hobby, baby.” she smirks.
the truth is, you’re not sure if that exchange with jennie kim is real or not. you and her aren’t even that close. the only reason you and her would ever find yourselves trapped in a room together is if you’re playing 7 minutes in heaven, got paired together and shoved by your friends into some empty room with the most minimal lighting possible. instead of making out, you both choose to sit miles apart from each other.
still, that night marks the night of your descent to the black little hole of nightly wonders and the birth of a stone cold ego crusher. your first daddy was a charmer. suave, suit-wearing, deep voice that penetrates straight into your core. it’s impossible not to fuck him. but that didn’t last long because he was getting married to the woman of his family’s choice.
the rest? well, you barely remember the rest. they’re either old little bums with leery eyes and barely any teeth for a smile or fucking maniacs who teased out sides of you unbeknownst to anyone.
but they’re a little too much for you to continue seeing.
so you go through one man after another, meeting them at the lotus’ bar with tabletops shiny enough to make a run for your highlighter’s founder. the marble floor clicks with every step of your slick black pumps. the soft jazz spills into the hallway, breathing life into the portraits of people whose faces you’ve memorized but never know who.
they’re probably big shots in their own days.
the vicinity barely hosts more than ten people.
it’s because it’s 8 in the evening and on a monday night—it’s too early to be drinking on a monday night.
but those who do, are always the most fun.
your blood red lips curve into a smile as you spot the three men. one is in his mid 40’s and is sporting a beer belly. the other is behind the counter, mixing cocktails and wiping down glasses.
the last one has his back turned on you as he sits at the end of the bar as though warning anyone who’d dare to approach him.
well, that’s certainly not your possible target.
maybe he hasn’t arrived. you shrug.
“hey, handsome, how are you doing?” you greet the man behind the bar.
“miss seo,” he smiles, pretty white pearls beaming back at you, “business is pretty slow but i get by.”
the way the man at the end of the bar glances at you doesn’t go past you. it’s normal for men to steal a peek at this package they’ll never have a chance of buying even on a discount.
but what’s not normal is when the chair they’re sitting on scraped against the floor and a familiar pair of brown—almost pitch black eyes—flash with rage as they bore into yours, “____? what the—what are you doing here?”
kim seokjin.
you never thought you’d be seeing him again. and most definitely not in the bar you frequent for your night rendezvous. he’s lost most of his baby fat, obtaining a fine jawline that looks like they can cut you in half. yet his cheeks still retain their squishable puffiness from his younger days.
and his hair is dyed auburn, deep parted as his bangs brush against his forehead gently. a much different contrast to the glare in his eyes.
his overly thick glasses are gone—whether its contacts or lasered, you don’t care. his eyes are prettier when you can actually see them.
the bartender’s gaze flits over the tall, towering dark-haired man in front of you. his eyes tell you this isn’t the first time a man twice the size of the woman he’s meeting flipped out at the sight of said woman.
“gee, you tell me. i’m just here to meet someone.” you say shrug, not yet connecting the dots.
the man’s thick set of brows knit together. they look like they might stay glued together forever if you don’t do something about it.
“anyways, i’m not gonna snitch so chill your man tiddies,” you wave a dismissive, perfectly manicured hand.
the thing is, they’re not the bad kind of man tiddies. you have no complaints burying your face in them. it’s not hard to tell even under that blazer and vest he’s wearing right now.
just as you’re about to brush past him, large thick fingers curl around your tiny little wrist.
“what—“ you’re about to ask when the next words that slips out of seokjin’s mouth gets your body freezing like ice in the antarctic.
“missseo hana,” he whispers under his breath and you almost visibly shiver in delight of his deep voice licking your ear.
that is, until you realize who he’s referring to.
his darkened gaze bore into you like a bottomless pit of destruction. one, if you fall, you’ll never be able to crawl out of.
“how did you know that name—well, my alias—whatever.” you glare.
“what are you doing on a fucking sugar daddy app?” he waves his phone in the air, the screen flashing too brightly for the briefest moment before your eyes finally caught sight of the familiar golden black-toned chat app.
the sender sent him a picture of a headless woman in a deep silken emerald dress. the same dress that’s hugging your curves in all the right places.
“are you—“ your eyes widen as realization hits you in the face with a baseball bat, “mr. kim jinseok?”
when only silence hangs in the air, you see the bartender approach in your periphery.
“miss, would you like an angel-a?” he cautiously asks.
it’s a universal code for asking if you need help. you give the man holding your wrist one last unappreciative glance before yanking your hand out of his grasp and smiles at the bartender.
“i’m good, thanks.” you say.
he hides his thoughts well, nodding and scurrying back to his spot where he stands, wiping the shot glasses behind the bar.
“kim jinseok? seriously? you couldn’t pick a better name?” you lift a perfectly trimmed eyebrow at the brooding man.
it takes him five whole seconds before he lets out a breath, throws his head back and sighs deeply.
“what about you? what about seo hana?” seokjin slips back onto his seat, swiping the half filled glass off the smooth surface of the counter and downing it in one gulp.
you can’t help but notice how his adam’s apple bobs as he takes the shot as if it’s his first of the night. you wonder how they’ll move underneath you.
“it means little flower in japanese,” you smile coquettishly, “gives them something to look forward to.”
you order a shot of tequila, making sure to throw in a wink at the bartender to show you’re fine. the fabric of his pants under your palm feels soft and his thigh feels like they’re built of muscles. you wonder how they’d look like kneeling on the mattress with your legs around them.
“i’m taking you home,” seokjin announces a second later, slipping out of his seat and marching towards the exit like he knows you’re going to follow.
you heave out a despondent sigh before the sight of a shot glass slips into view. the colorless liquid looks a lot like water but burns your throat all the same.
“thanks, handsome,” you shoot him a smile before strutting in the direction seokjin disappeared to.
you see the man’s back shrinking as he gets further away. his strides are bigger than yours and as much as you hate to run after a man, your heels are clicking against the walls and you see a girl in a rich emerald dress with her hair pinned up in the horizontally lined wall mirror.
seokjin must have heard but he doesn’t look like he cares. so he can’t blame you when your crimson nails brush against his shoulder and he finds himself against the aforementioned wall mirror with you in front of him, one leg wedged in between his.
“i’m not leaving without getting my pay,” you say, tainting his neck with your blood red lipstick, smirking when you hear the sharp intake of breath coming from the man you have pinned against the wall.
“i’ll pay! j-just…” his facade comes crumbling before you get the chance to sink your teeth in his flesh and mar his smooth, milky skin with a love bite.
“i like working for what i deserve,” you smirk and before seokjin could retort, you’re crashing your lips against his.
his whole body turns to statue as you kiss him and lick his bottom lip but not letting your tongue go past that until he sighs against your mouth. then, his hands cup your face and his forehead leans on yours within a lull in time after you’ve sated at least minuscule of your thirst for each other.
“i knew you since you were a kid,” he murmurs, eyes sweeping over your lipstick smudged lips.
“so did i, genius,” you roll your eyes.
and seokjin devours you, kissing you and biting down on your bottom lip harder than you like but you suppose it’s fair since he probably didn’t like being shoved against a wall either. but before your hand can snake down and cop a feel of his bulge, his own bands around your wrist and stops you just above his buckle.
“not here, not in public,” he says, breathing barely steadying.
“you do realize this is a hotel, right?” you have a sudden urge to roll your eye but you decide against it.
something tells you the attitude you’ve been showing is enough to warrant seokjin to never want to book you again. you’re yanked out of your reverie just as seokjin starts yanking you towards the lobby.
what is up with this man and holding your delicate wrist captive?
the receptionist’s eyes widen just the slightest bit before she puts on a perfect marionette smile. the name tag clipped to her lapel spells out “jung miyeon”.
“give me the best suite you’ve got,” seokjin grunts, finally releasing your wrist to fish for his wallet.
“that will be three thousand, six hundred and—“ miyeon trails off as soon as she sees the black card seokjin slides over.
“m-mr. kim, i-i apologize for not recognizing you sooner,” she fumbles with her words, bowing deeply.
“nevermind that, give me the key. i’ll collect my card tomorrow morning after i check out.” his words drip with a kind of authority you didn’t notice before.
was it because he was kim jinseok that only appeared to you as a sugar daddy and nothing more?
what good would it bring if he starts bossing around his sugar baby anyway.
“y-yes, it’s the lavender suite on the 18th floor,” miyeon slips a golden colored card across the counter.
before you can even check out the shiny little thing, seokjin’s already swiping it off the counter and gripping it in his hand like he’s holding on for dear life.
“well? what are you waiting for, little flower?” he looks back at you, those thick set of brows rising to the ceiling.
chills run down your spine as your stomach churns from the way he calls your name. it’s almost as though he’s taunting you for not being the freshly bloom you claim to be.
“just checking something out,” you smirk before brushing past him, “not much to see though.
seokjin quietly follows a few steps behind you, like a predator waiting for his time to prance at you. and true to your suspicion, as soon as you’re in the elevator, you’re pushed against the cool metal wall, a pair of whiskey lips on yours. his hand is under your chin, forcing your neck to crane up to touch his lips.
you can’t even complain that he’s not being so gentlemanly because his other hand is under your thigh, just inches from your ass yet not quite touching.
it definitely was the attitude, you think.
you don’t get to see how palatial the suite is nor appreciate its interiors because seokjin’s shrugging off his blazer and unbuttoning his vest before he roughly pulls on his tie. all of a sudden, you feel like a novice; unsure of where to put your hand when he’s taking care of himself like that.
but you don’t mind the view.
piece by piece, his clothing falls on the warm wooden floor until he’s in nothing but his pants.
“hands,” seokjin instructs and you blink, questioning if he’s for real but when those opulent honey brown gaze stare back at you as if he’s not going to repeat what he said, you bite your bottom lip.
closing your fists and bringing them together, you stretch your arms over to him. seokjin doesn’t even bat an eye when the belt snaps at his tugging. he wraps it around your wrists and your heart lurches in your stomach when he gives it one last tug before securing the buckle.
“tighter, daddy,” yet you still dare say.
that backfired though.
“eep!” an ungraceful yelp leaves your mouth when the man bends down, wraps one arm around your legs and hoists you over his shoulder like you weigh nothing.
“i’ll show you tight, petal.” seokjin’s low voice seeps into your bones and you have to cross your legs not to let yourself drip down your legs.
“ah! hey, no fair!” you complain when a smack lands on your ass but sigh in appreciation when you feel his hand on that same spot that seared with pain just a second ago.
the sheets feel like silk underneath you even when seokjin tossed you onto the king sized mattress unceremoniously.
“you could’ve saved some for me,” you whine as you watch him push down his pants and boxers.
but the regret soon dissipates when you see him stroke himself languidly, precum glinting off his tip like pretty diamonds. “think you can take it, little flower?”
“take off my dress—no, push it up and fuck me—i’m not wearing any panties anyway,” you’re fully aware what you’re saying.
“i know,” is all he says, caressing your hip where your panties would have ever so slightly protruded against the soft silken material of your dress—if you’d just wear one.
you’re too far preoccupied with other matters to ponder on what he means by that. for all you know, he might’ve only known when he spanked you on the way to the bed.
speaking of which, the bed doesn’t even budge when seokjin climbs on it but it dents underneath his weight as he crawls over to you like a beast sizing up his prey.
you swallow, teeth digging into your bottom lip almost painfully as you find yourself wishing the time would move faster and stop altogether so you could engrave this moment inside your head— the sight of kim seokjin’s hooded eyes fixed on the apex of your legs, his hand on your thigh just below where you dress ends.
but before he can reach where you want him to, your dress stops you from opening your legs any wider.
“you have got to be fucking kidding me,” you groan.
but that despondency is short-lived. you hear the sound of something tearing and before you know it, seokjin’s hand is snaking further up between your thighs until his middle and index finger swipes up your lips.
the hum that escapes your lips is purely instinctual. the moan that slips past you, even more so. his fingers slide right into you and your stomach feels like it’s burning— your whole body feels like it’s on fire. you’re not sure if it’s seokjin that’s pressing his hand down on your thigh to keep your legs spread but you wouldn’t be surprised if you’re the one all too willingly spread eagle in front of him.
“seokjin, please, please, please,” you whine when he pulls his fingers out just as you’re about to reach the point of ecstasy.
“shh,” he hushes you up mindlessly, eyes trained on his erected self as he smoothes your arousal over his tip, the sight uncannily erotic for your hazed self.
you find a semblance of your sanity when he swiftly turns you over, the cool air hitting your aroused apex. he slips a pillow underneath your stomach. you’re sure your ass is up in the air.
perfect.
he’ll fuck right into your heart and you’ll be able to bury your face in the sheet as you scream like there’s no other man in this world.
and fuck you seokjin did.
all the way till morning.
until you’re sore and weeping.
and even then, you rub your puffy eyes and ask, “can we go for another round?”
seokjin looks at you with rounded eyes. he looks like the unsuspecting, as pure as the driven snow boy you knew back home.
a kiss lands on your forehead as you feel the soft sheets get pulled over your body, “maybe after we get some sleep and food in you.”
x
when morning comes, you find yourself in a too-large empty bed. no matter how far you try to reach the other side, it’d still feel cold and lonely.
“‘daddies are busy men, they always leave in the morning’.” you murmur the words jennie kim used to say to you back when you first started—in the beginning, it sounded humorous but over time, you find yourself mimicking her speech under your breath before slipping out of bed and walking to the shower bare naked.
your ass is stinging and you’re walking funny but it could be worse; you thought you wouldn’t be able to walk at all. the warm seems to wash away the knots in your muscles but also make your insides tingle with the residue of last night’s fucking.
your heart makes a funny flip at the thought that you wouldn’t be able to experience something so beautiful and feral and raw like that again.
biting your lower lip, you let your hand snake down in between your legs. but after five minutes and being nowhere near to the exhilarating sensation that kim seokjin made you feel. in the end, you give up and opt for taking an actual shower, lathering the floral scented hotel-branded shower gel and decent-smelling shampoo.
when you step out of the shower in just a towel and a towelette wrapped around your head as your eyes settle on a masculine figure standing by the bed, your first instinct is to scream. before you know it, your hand is moving on its own as it reaches up to the damp towelette, tearing it off your head and tossing it in the intruder’s direction.
except it wasn’t an intruder.
“do you do this often? get shy and scream like you never begged me fuck you while crying like a baby?” seokjin doesn’t even bat an eye as the towel falls off his face and onto the floor.
at the mention of your spilled tears, your cheeks heat up and your stomach churns. “i lost myself for a little bit,” you shrug, ambling towards him—particularly the box at the end of the bed that he was in the middle of placing before your fight or flight instinct kicked it, “i thought you were some perverted hotel staff who snuck in after you left.”
“you—” seokjin begins but clamps his mouth shut, staring wordlessly before shaking his head, “what do you take me for? i’m not gonna leave someone’s daughter alone at the hotel after i…” he says grimly but it soon disappears after he meets your eyes, “did that happen before? men creeping into your hotel room?” seokjin’s furrowed stare pierces through your soul but you pretend to lift the lid of the peach colored box casually.
“no, but a friend went through that once—oh, cute.” you blink at the pastel violet dress. the diamonds wink at you as they scatter across the neckline and seem to disappear as it disperses down the chest area.
the other box that lies next to it bears the signature black and pink colors of victoria’s secret. you don’t need to inquire what those are. stull, you take a sweep about the room and notice the lack of mess you’ve both made out of your clothes that should be littered all over the floor but are gone.
the only unfixable mess is possibly the bed. the duvet is lying on the ground next to the floor, one corner of the fitted sheet came off and the pillows… where did all the pillows go?
come to think of it, you did spot one in the second sink.
“they’re not for you.” seokjin says simply and you hum.
“and who are they for? the cleaning lady down the hall?” the towel wrapped around you slips off your body and pools around your ankles before you put on the surprisingly simple cotton black panties. the bra comes next to which you don’t miss a chance to gather your hair over your shoulder and turn your back on him, “be a darling and hook them up for me.”
“why? can’t they be for the cleaning lady?” he counters yet his finger pads ghost over your smooth back and sends shivers down your spine. for the briefest moment, you thought about pushing him on the bed, crawling over him and trapping him underneath you as you pulled out his surely erected dick and rode him.
but the thought gets flushed down the drain when a callus fingertip trails down your spine and lingers just above the band of the panties he got you.
you twirl around, standing on the tip of your toes before placing a light kiss on his cheek which starts going pink and blushing. seokjin’s eyes go wide, one brow lifted in mild curiosity.
you peer at him through your lashes, blinking innocently, “thank you, daddy.”
and then, you push him to the bed—it’s surprisingly easy, considering how he’s a man twice your size, “and i’ll show it to you.”
“by all means,” seokjin offers as he watches with darkened eyes, you lowering yourself in what would be his lap if he was sitting. you giggle at the noticeable bulge that brushes your apex as your hand snakes up to unbutton his crisp white shirt—it must be new, probably came in along with your gifts.
“no,” his hand curls around your wrist and you feel the twinge of rejection in your heart, but it patches itself up when his next words hit your ears like an invitation to treat, “you only need my dick, don’t you?”
he unbuckles his belt and pulls the zipper down. you lick your bottom lip as you pull his semi-hard erection through the hole of his boxer. his fingers feel too rough against your sensitive flesh as he helps push the panties to the side as you lower yourself on him and sigh in pure bliss at the feeling of being filled to the brim.
x
an hour later, you find yourself having tasmanian salmon fillet with dutch carrot purée rolled in and presented by the chef himself with your legs tingling from the aftermath of your…. gracious expression for the gifts while the chef was sweating bullets for some reason.
still, his eyes are twinkling with a sort of anticipation before seokjin said a ‘thank you, it’s an honor to have chef lee himself present us the dish’ with finality in his voice. chef lee’s shoulderline sags as if he wants to say more but he bows and leaves like a trained professional.
all the while, you’ve already dug in, humming a happy tune in your head as you relish in the creamy puree taste that tones down the lime in the salmon. the cheeriness in your face doesn’t go away even when you catch seokjin staring at you like a predator eyeing a bunny. though you do take a sip of the orange juice and clear your throat.
“shoot. i know you have questions.” you announce.
“i thought your monthly pocket money is enough to buy a good apartment in myeongdong.” it’s a statement, not a question.
“it is, this is just a hobby.” you shrug.
seokjin doesn’t say anything. he just drills holes inside your head until you obnoxiously sigh.
“it’s exciting… siphoning money off lonely old men, i mean.” a giggle escapes your lips at the remembrance of the shocked and offended faces throughout your… career.
and you’ve only been doing this for a year.
“since sugarlite doesn’t let you see each other’s face, you’ll only know once you meet. but both parties have the right to walk away with a little penalty fee.” you explain, a coquettish smile on your lips, “they didn’t think the baby would be the one to cancel so it’s a big fuck you in their face when i do—you should’ve seen the expression they make!”
“huh,” seokjin breathes out as if he didn’t expect that.
“not all of them are old grumps though, sometimes there are hidden gems. young, fuckable daddies. they’re a little fucked up in the head, but that’s what makes the sugar life fun,” your left foot is running up the smooth, almost silken material of seokjin’s pants — particularly his leg.
“i don’t—” he tries to deny but you cut him off.
“i like your belt,” you offer, foot perched on seokjin’s knee, “personally, i think tom ford is the least abrasive but if we’re talking about quality, givenchy is—“
the screech of the chair against the floor is what makes you swallow your words as you inhale sharply. it takes seokjin two steps to cross the distance between you and him. his hands find themselves on either side of the hand rest of your chair. there’s a fire in your stomach that threatens to light up your entire body as seokjin swiftly pulls the chair to turn you away from the table and face him.
“get up. turn around. one knee on the chair.” he instructs and you oblige, swallowing thickly as you feel the breeze in between your legs when a large, warm hand pushes your skirt up to rest on your hips.
the first strike has you gasping as if you didn’t believe that the gentle, unsuspecting young boy you once knew would know how to use his belt on a woman. the second time, you know to sink your teeth in the tender flesh of your bottom lip. but somewhere along the line, you left your pride where no one could see and flinched and moaned as the sound of leather smacking against skin rang in the air. your nails dig into the wooden material of the backrest, you almost think it’s either going to break underneath your grasp or you’re the one going to break.
it’s only after the tenth strike that he places a hand on your stinging left cheek and kisses the other softly.
that duality of kim seokjin drives you mad.
seokjin fucks you raw and just like in the bedroom, he simply pushed your panties out of the way and slides right into you without so much as a warning—you’re not embarrassed of your sexuality; actually you’re far too comfortable in your own skin to be, but—that’s when the most embarrassing moan escapes your lips. you think you sound like one of those girls who pretended to moan for the camera but felt nothing. but you stand here, fucked and sated and corrected.
x
for the next few months you’ve been dropping by seokjin’s office unannounced whenever you needed a good fuck because college’s been giving you a rough time. he booked you whenever you’re available but even if he didn’t, you’d still let him fuck you when he showed up on your doorstep in the early ams. tousled hair, the first two buttons of his shirt undone, tie hanging and looking fuckable than the crisp suit, slicked back hair ceo his workers knew him as.
you hide behind the guise of being almost-like-family and the female workers swoon over the side of seokjin that laughed and joked with you as they watched you walk out of his office and towards the elevator. little did they know, he’d shove his tongue down your throat in that fleeting moment of the elevator going down.
they thought kim seokjin was a loving brother to his almost-like-sister.
your father, your mother, seokjin’s mother and seokjin’s father do too. and you suppose that’s why his father has been calling you more often than you like, inquiring about his son whom you somehow managed to get through when not even him or his wife manage to achieve such an arduous feat.
“i don’t know uncle kim,” you hold in an agitated sigh; your father gave your number to seokjin’s father without your permission and he’s been calling you everyday to ask about his estranged son, “se—oppa’s pretty busy even on the weekends—how do i know? it’s ‘cause i’ve been bugging him to give me some of his time since it’s been so long but he won’t budge! people saw us having lunch together? i forced him to get out of his dreadful office, uncle kim!”
you throw in a fake giggle with that poorly constructed excuse.
“i see,” uncle kim sighs, resigned, “well, next time you see him. tell him to come home sometimes, yeah?”
“sure will,” the tone you use gets sweeter when you smell the goodbye approaching.
with a well wish on your studies, uncle kim finally lets you hang up. you toss your phone to the side as soon as you do, turning to face the complacently smiling man next to you as he plays with your nipple.
“how long are you planning to be a rebellious son of a conglomerate family?” you quiz, a stern look on your face but it melts away as soon as you gaze into those deep brown eyes you find yourself getting lost in.
as much as you hate to admit it, kim seokjin has that effect on you.
“thanks for handling him so politely,” is all seokjin offers.
“i should at least do that much for fucking his son behind his— oh.” your eyes glint with pleasant surprise, the hand that seokjin held and guided in between his legs, is stroking him teasingly.
it doesn’t take long for you to climb over him, the sheets slipping off your bare bodies.
“it can’t be helped, i need to take care of my own daddy,” you giggle, rubbing yourself against him.
and take care of him you do. after the third time you met and the—you lost count of how many times you went at it by then, you know just how to move your hips to get him gripping onto the duvet and moaning in pleasure. the first time you made him cum so hard while riding him, the skin on your hips and ass got marred with bruises, seokjin apologized profusely and had flowers sent to you in the middle of class.
some envious souls side-eyed you for the disturbance and maybe there’s a rumor spreading around about you fucking a way older man—more ancient than seokjin—but that was easily dealt with by cornering shin jimin and showing her a video of her and professor haejung fucking in the back building of the architecture faculty.
another month passes until kim seokjin shows up at your doorsteps with flushed cheeks and an overwhelming scent of alcohol accompanying him.
“gosh, why did secretary min have to push this on me?” you complain as you drag the barely conscious kim seokjin to your bed, his hand feels like a ton of rocks on your shoulder and his body is at risk of dragging you down to the ground if he trips on one of the random things you have lying around on the floor.
luckily, the moment his body descends, it’s to lie on the mattress. because of his large stature, he’s spread like a starfish on your bed which means it’s the couch you’re sleeping on tonight.
that, you don’t mind.
the problem—the actual one that has you sighing in serious contemplation—is his innocent sleeping face with his eyelashes brushing the top of his cheek, his light skin somehow glowing with pinkness of the alcohol and his half-parted lush lips that look so kissable right now. they’re a glaring contrast to his stone hard chest and abs—you don’t need to squint to see the outlines of his abdominal muscles underneath his flimsy shirt. and you’re trying so hard not to look at the noticeable tent in his pants as he lies spread eagle on your bed.
“seriously,” you murmur under your breath as you sit on the edge of the bed, pushing his overgrown bangs out of his closed eyes, “how many hearts did you break in the last 10 years?”
in terms of looks, body and personality, kim seokjin has it all.
and you’d be lying if you said your heart didn’t palpitate in his presence even when you’re doing nothing but spending quality time, trying out new restaurants before your heart beats a different rhythm when he gets you behind closed doors.
you suck in a much needed breath of strength, “i’m just doing this because it’d be uncomfortable to sleep in those pants.”
your hand hovers above the bulge, quivering from your barely-held-together self-restraint as your fingers run over the shiny metallic buckle of his belt. but before you can even touch it, a hand clasps around your wrist and you feel frost seep into your bones.
it’s almost like the feeling of being caught red handed stealing cookies from the jar by your mother.
seokjin’s dark gaze settles on you like winter.
“i-i can explain, i wasn’t trying to nail you while you were drunk and unconsenting, i—“ you choke on your words as you feel yourself being pulled down and into a pair of muscular arms.
they’re warm and secure and surprisingly gentle. like a child holding onto his teddy bear as he sleeps.
seokjin’s velvety voice comes out hoarse but you can clearly make out the words he’s saying, “stay with me tonight.”
silence lulls in the shadows of your dimly lit room. seokjin’s steady heartbeat drums in your ears as he holds you against his chest. the warmth from his embrace doesn’t feel too much. it feels just right.
you yawn.
yeah, this feels just right.
when morning comes, you’re awoken by the sound of something loud hitting the ground. you grumble in curses, pulling the blanket over your head and turning the other side in hopes of putting whatever noise just now behind you. but then comes the next clang! and it sounds awfully close—like in-your-house kind of close.
the culprit of the noise is hunched over in your kitchen—it was a perfect fit for you but now it looks tiny and barely able to accommodate this giant of a man.
“whatcha doin’, daddy?” you ask just as the sound of glass scraping against glass hits the air.
seokjin turns to you with wide eyes—the kind of eyes of a man caught red handed. a second later, he’s yanking his hand away from the ground, hissing “ah, fuck!”
red oozes out of his index finger and you pad over quietly, tugging on his uninjured hand and making him sit on the stool you pulled out.
“i was trying to make coffee,” seokjin mumbles dejectedly.
he looks like the coffee machine insulted him by not working when he needed it to and when he tried tweaking it, he accidentally knocked over the mug and sent it crashing against the ground.
the first sound was the mug, the second one was a glass you left on the counter last night after drinking some water before secretary min knocked on your door and dumped a certain drunken man in your care. he knocked over that one in his fright of knocking over the pastel green mug that has cute cat ears on it.
“if i didn’t like you, i would’ve said you owed me a new coffee machine for breaking mine but i like you and the coffee machine broke yesterday while i was trying to make some coffee for myself.” you giggle.
you gently grasp his hand with yours, and guide his finger to your parted lips. the metallic taste of the blood makes you cringe but it goes away sooner rather than later. you run your tongue over his fingerpad, lapping over it until you’re sure that it stopped bleeding.
when you steal a glance through your lashes, you find yourself staring at a blushing kim seokjin. his face is tinted pink all the way to the tip of his ears and neck. your lips curl into a smile on their own. you push your hair to the back of your ear demurely, making sure to flutter your lashes twice before taking him in till his second knuckle.
the moment he audibly breathes in, you know you have him by the neck. but instead of giving into his desires like seokjin usually would, he presses his thumb on your bottom lip until you part your mouth enough for him to pull his finger, glistening with your saliva, out.
seokjin leans his head against yours and you’re reminded of the first night you spent together. he hasn’t done that once since then and for some reason, the mere fact that he’s came to you drunk, didn’t even try to fuck you in his drunken state when he should be horny as a bunny at the sight of you like he usually is and should be even more so with the influence of alcohol—sends a sense of trepidation in your heart.
you tilt your head ever so gently, brushing your lips with his. there’s no denying the flutter of your heart when he smiles against your lips but the sense of dread doesn’t go away when he kisses you—perhaps it’s because this kiss lingers longer than the kisses he gives you.
“i wanted to see you before i leave,” seokjin’s voice sounds heartbreakingly melodic to your ears.
he sometimes sings to you after you’re both spent and curled up against each other. but this time, it’s not the smooth velvety tone you want to hear. it’s—
“i’m free this sunday,” you offer.
it’s the kiss he places on your forehead and the trudge to your tiny storage door where you keep your broom—that makes your heart wretch inside your chest.
“do me a favor,” he says teasingly, “sit still and don’t move while i clean mymess.”
you have a habit of telling him to go sit somewhere whenever he makes a mess out of something in either yours or his place. it’s mostly because he proves that he’s only good with gadgets and answering calls while fucking you doggy style.
“alrighty, daddy,” you sing-song, skipping over to the couch where you can pretend to be on your phone while stealing glances at the giant who goes around, sweeping the floor and dumping the scattered glasses into a separate plastic bag before dumping that plastic bag into the bin.
seokjin smelled of floral mist—the bath & body work shower gel you keep in the bathroom—so once he’s done, there’s no enticing him for shower sex. and his self-restraint is surprisingly rock solid today so morning sex won’t work either—you tried with the finger-throating.
once he’s done, you’re standing in the doorway with the blazer secretary min placed on your couch before he wheezed out the door like the devil was after him. this feels oddly domestic—you holding the blazer for seokjin to put on and him, placing a kiss on each of your cheek like he doesn’t have a semi-erection painfully bulging in his pants.
“see you later,” is all seokjin says before he steps out of the door of your apartment.
to say you never saw your unanswered text and rejected phone calls coming, would be a big blatant lie.
x
two weeks later, you’re sighing for the third time of the day in the cafe at your college. seokjin stopped replying to your text on both imessage and sugarlite and you’re not one to grovel over a man’s feet—even if that man is kim seokjin and he makes your heart flutter.
“okay, what’s wrong?” kim jongin slams his chopsticks down with a hint of irritation and urgency.
“it’s nothing…” you trail off despite feeling all five pairs of eyes on you.
“we’re gonna say ‘oh come on, it’s not nothing when you’re sighing like a wife who knows her husband is cheating’ and you’re gonna say ‘it’s nothing’ for the second time and we’ll go on like this back and forth until you finally spill the tea so why don’t we just cut to the chase and get to the part where you do be spilling the hot mess of a tea?” hwang yeji goes off before she looks at you with a ‘you know i’m right’ look.
so you sigh again before finally bearing your worries and sorrows to your friends, “what does it mean when a guy you kinda had a thing with, comes to you drunk, doesn’t even try to cop a feel and then just disappears the next day?”
silence hovers over the table of six for the longest moment before jung wooyoung speaks, “he just needed a place to crash and a bolster.”
“nope,” shin yoona shakes her head in protest, “are we talking about an ex because it sounds like we’re talking about an ex?”
“yeah, sure, an ex,” you shrug, not really seeing the difference between being acquaintances and meeting again ten years later to fuck every chance you get as if you’re making up for lost time.
“that means he still loves you but he can’t be with you for some reason,” the auburn haired girl surmises.
“if you ask me, he sounds like a douche and a pussy,” lee chaeryeong says simply, digging into her spaghetti bologna.
“i know what can help with that,” jongin chirps, waving around a fry in your face as if it’s some fairy god mother’s wand.
him, yeji, yoona and chaeryeong are sharing a look you know too well. but you humor him anyway. “and that is?”
“club night!” yeji screams in your ear, her slender arms wrapped around your waist, squealing with excitement.
x
new year rolls around and marks the sixth month of the demise of your prolonged summer fling with kim seokjin which turned into the iciest winter too fast, too soon.
and on some nights, you lie awake in your bed, recollecting the times you spent with kim seokjin. whenever you’re not trying to seduce him while you’re out in public, you’re laughing your heart out over his unexpectedly good-but-bad dad jokes.
said night happens to be last night and you had to wake up at asscrack o’clock because your mother sent mr. jung to pick you up because you have dinner with the kim’s at eight and your family, namely you and your mother, has a tradition of spending five hours at a salon before the annual dinner.
so when you step out of your room after changing into a pastel pink dress and hear your dad roaring with laughter more than he usually would from the dining room with a “ah you really grew up to be your father’s son,”—you thought this was some bad, horrible, messed up dream.
“seokjin?” you feel your blood run cold as your stomach knots with unrest at the sight of the familiar face sitting across from your dad, facing the doorway where you’re standing.
he went easy on the hair gel tonight, letting his bangs cover his smooth forehead instead of having them slicked back like he usually would. and he foregone the blazer and vest—though he keeps the white button down underneath—for a beige sweater. round glasses perch perfectly on his nose and add to the casual, domestic look he’s going for.
the tinted bottle lying lonely on the table and the champagne glasses in your father and uncle kim’s hands tells you that they started drinking while waiting for dinner to be served. seokjin looks like 10 years have been taken off him with the white mickey mouse mike and chocolate malt drink of his.
“____, come help me with dinner,” your mother calls from the kitchen, unsuspecting of the tangible tension that hangs in the air as seokjin cast his gaze down to the hot chocolate mug that looks miniature in his hands but would need you to hold it with both hands because of its weight and how mugs are generally a bit big for you.
“but you have 10 helpers already crowding the kitchen.” you say unironically, watching the workers go back and forth behind your mother and auntie kim, carrying various plates of dishes.
silene lulls in the air for the longest moment as you feel eyes on you.
your dad is the first to break it, laughing, “____’s been stressed out with college lately, it’s her final year.”
“did she forget her manners in college too?” uncle kim backhandedly comments as the two elder men’s laughter fills the air.
that’s when a laugh forces its way out of you, cheeks hot with embarrassment and rage, “i didn’t expect seokjin-oppa to join us.”
“oh my, i didn’t tell you because i thought you’d know. you got closer recently, right?” your mother’s brows furrow with distress.
“yes, but seokjin-oppa must’ve forgot to tell me. he’s been super busy lately, right, oppa?” you shoot a faux smile at the aforementioned man’s way.
his unreadable dark eyes meet you for the briefest moment before he turns them to your mother, “luxean is expanding into the uk, telling ____ about coming home completely slipped my mind.” laughter trickles from his mouth, “guess, it makes for a great belated christmas surprise?”
“a very pleasant surprise,” you thank the gods that your voice doesn’t break as your words draw his gaze back to you, those enigmatic eyes boring into yours so you add, “oppa.”
“speaking of which, boy, when are you going to come over to jessom?” your father quizzes. jessom inc. is the company seokjin’s grandfather started and uncle kim took over after the old man died.
“there’s still a lot to do at luxean as the ceo before i can resign, uncle hwang,” is all the younger man offers, chuckling—even that sound feels natural.
it’s as if the girl he fucked for three months and ghosted isn’t standing 10 feet away from him, barely keeping her wits together.
“i’ve been trying to get him to join the team and he says this every damn time,” uncle kim sighs, tilting the wine glass to his mouth.
you end up joining your mother at the kitchen, standing in front of the chocolate mousse, running your fingerpad over the rounded edge as the sound of your mother and auntie kim not-so-discreetly gossip about some ha yeonhwa’s failed third marriage while your dad and uncle kim talk about the falling stocks of luxean. and all yet the sound of your heartbeat drowns out the conversation as you find yourself glaring at the one man who hasn’t spoken a word since the last time he was directly asked by your dad.
“when are you going to introduce your girlfriend to your pops and uncle, boy?”
seokjin shakes his head with a practiced smile on his lips, “i don’t have the time to date.”
‘cause you were busy fucking the girl you’re supposed to see as your little sister.’ the words teeter on your tongue but don’t quite make it out.
the rage that lights up in the pit of your stomach doesn’t burn out even as you sit across seokjin once the helpers set up the table and what would have been a savory mouth-watering smell of the grilled kashmiri land is nothing but a slab of meat sitting in your plate. but you’ve managed to reign over your emotions enough not to explode in front of your family.
“can you pass me the salt, dad?” you ask, sickly sweet—a tone seokjin is no stranger to.
“thank you, daddy.” you smile at your dad who gazes over you with unsuspecting adoration—he’s probably glad that you’re back to yourself again.
that is, until the sound of someone choking draws his attention. kim seokjin has hand clasped over his mouth as his shoulderline shakes while he coughs.
“are you okay, oppa?” you flutter your lashes, making sure your brows knit with concern.
despite his coughing fit, he struggles to nod, a hand held up to say he just needs a moment. uncle kim indicates for one of the helpers to pour some water for his son before he hands it over to seokjin, hand patting his back like that’ll help.
the rest of the dinner goes by without a hitch. the smiles and giggles that pour out of your mouth are uncannily well crafted. then comes the post-dinner drinking session where uncle kim would usually get himself drunk and slurring and bawling over his estranged son.
but since seokjin suddenly came back—you suspect some time after he started ghosting you—uncle kim has been holding his liquor pretty well. him and auntie kim have been smiling more too, sitting side by side on the white couch, uncle kim’s arm is around auntie kim’s shoulder. the cordial atmosphere is possibly what makes your father compliment your mother’s beauty and her giggling bashfully, calling him an “old sap”. pun intended.
you rise from your seat in the one-person couch, heading over to the kitchen where you pop another bottle of wine, fill the glass up to the brim and down the fizzy golden alcohol once before strutting over to the hallway where the game room lies.
but before your perfectly manicured nails brush the handle of the door, it twists and the door swings open, revealing a surprised-looking kim seokjing.
your name spills out of his lush lips without him realizing it. the astonishment flashes across your eyes for the briefest moment before you notice the phone in his hand with its screen still lit. seokjin has been gone for the last 15 minutes after he excused himself for a phone call.
“i borrowed the game room since it’s soundproof for a call from work, hope you don’t mind.” he says with far too much ease, you feel your eyebrow twitching.
those thick brows are ever so relaxed while yours are furrowed as if you’re born like that. yet you take in one deep, much needed breath and exhale. placing the champagne glass on the tall black console pressed up against the wall—the helpers will get that once they do a last sweep before going home—and turn on your heels, the clicking sound echoing in the air.
“w-wait,wait—!” a voice calls from where you left a gawking kim seokjin.
a moment later, fingers curl around your wrist and stop you in your trek but you yank your hand back, twirling around and shoving him against the wall. those darkened eyes widen seokjin’s mouth parts and snaps shut twice before he breathes out, startled yet awed.
“what?” you spit out, hands pressed up against the wall on both sides of his shoulders which seem to be rising up just the slightest bit.
“you look great,” there’s a sort of tremble in seokjin’s voice—the only time he ever chokes on his words is when you’re on top of him. it always gets him.
you roll your eyes, “that’s a fact. tell me something i don’t know but deserve to.”
“we should go in first,” he tilts his head towards the ajar door of the game room.
“i’m good,” you shrug.
seokjin’s stare bore into you for the longest time before he finally sighs, his breath fanning your face gently.
“i know what i did could get me an award for the worst man you’ve ever known.” he begins and you scoff.
“theaudacity to think you deserve an award.” you blink as though surprised before shaking your head with an unfazed expression, “appalling, truly.”
his lips press into a thin line as his brows knit together almost painfully, gaze clouded with unspoken words. there’s a sudden urge to wrap your arms around him and slap his dumb handsome face all at once. but you grit your teeth, seething silently as you keep him trapped between you and the wall.
a sense of deja vu washes over you.
yet instead of looking back at the night in the bar with revered melancholy, your heart thumps and writhes in your chest as it heaves from the sporadic inhale and exhale of air. that is, until you feel all the energy in your body drain and your hands fall to your sides. you feel the soft fuzzy material of seokjin’s sweater on your skin as you lay your head on his shoulder.
“you fucking idiot,” you want to scream but it comes out barely above whisper.
“i know,” he murmurs back.
his hand is warm on your back and his other hand is gently combing through your hair. you stay like that, in the silence of your breathing and the distant echo of laughter down the hallway, here but separate from the world.
“will you ever tell me?” you ask because—“ it’s okay if you don’t want to explain and it’s okay if you’ll leave without saying anything but i don’t think i’ll be able to live like this never happened and go on to be the almost-like-family our parents want us to be.”
but seokjin sighs and it sounds like a man who’s taken off his armor.
“my dad found out about us. i don’t know how but he showed up that night,” he doesn’t need to explain which night ‘that night’ was; seokjin came to you drunk and held you all night like you’re his world, “asked me to at least go for a drink with ‘this old man that’s not got much time left in the world’. showed me a picture of you and me hugging in front of your apartment and told me if i don’t come back, he’ll tell uncle hwang.”
his shoulder line rises and falls as sighs heavily.
at that, you tear yourself off him, eyes fierce and mind clearer than it ever was, “i fucking knew it! you couldn’t have left me because i’m me—i’m perfect. but uncle kim—i always knew he was a sly fox.” you mull audibly, hand on your chin, nibbling your bottom lip as if you’d chew that man’s head off if not for the repercussions of doing so.
seokjin blinks. once. lush lips parted as he stares at you with a mixture of disbelief and relief, “you’re not… mad?”
“no, i was really mad and—and i wanted to slap you but i didn’t,” you coo, cupping his cheeks, “because look at this handsome face.”
seokjin’s shoulderline sags, as if the tons of weight of his shoulders have been lifted, his adam’s apple bobs as though he’s about to say praise to the gods but before he can say anything, you’re already gripping both of his wrists with all your might.
“let’s get rid of him.” you announce, eyes glinting.
“sorry—what?” seokjin blinks, brows rising, all the gentleness in them replaced with confusion, “i don’t like my dad either but i’m not about to commit—”
“then,” you guide his hands to cup your soft ample breasts, “i’ll be able to fuck whenever i want.”
“you mean ‘we’llbe able to fuck whenver we want’.” he recovers quickly, copping a feel of your breasts, a familiar lustrous gleam in his eyes.
just as the sound of voices echoing louder in the hallway, you say, “seokjin, do you trust me?”
it takes moment for him to study your expression, the fanatical playfulness has disappeared, replace with a sort of unshaken resolve if so much as says—
“with all my life.”
and with that, you stand on the tip of your toes, hands grabbing a handful of his shirt before pulling him in and crashing your lips together. he tastes like vanilla and chocolate from the mousse you had for dessert.
for some reason he’s turned down both the 1989 cabernet sauvignon twice, once during dinner and another time when everyone sat down in the common area.you find yourself licking his lips, imploring. a delighted sigh escapes your lips when seokjin’s mouth parts, his tongue brushing against the tip of your own pink organ but before you can go further than this, a shrill tears your eardrums apart.
“kim seokjin! hwang ____!
auntie kim stands at the other end of the hallway, eyes rounded and jaws on the ground. there’s a garnet stain on her chest, a glaring difference to the peach pastel color of her dress. but it couldn’t compare to the crimson on her face—if you squint, you think you see smoke coming out of her ears.
“oops,” you mumble, hand on your mouth as you blink innocently.
yet it’s the hand on your waist that makes your heart stutter in your chest. he leans down, his fresh, marine cologne filling your senses, his breath on your neck is hot, “if we walk out of here unscathed, you’re deleting the sugarlite app in front of me.”
you make a sound between a snort and a scoff, “the audacity is impeccable, kim seokjin.”
“you two! to the common room. rightnow.” auntie kim’s nose flares as she orders—the fact that you just laughed in her face after getting caught french kissing her son is probably part of the reason.
x
“what—how—i can’t do this,” auntie kim sniffles, heart on his chest as the other massages her temple.
it looks like the shock just added 10 years to her age.
you sit next to seokjin on the three person couch while the elders sit in front of you. auntie kim is on the one-person sofa with uncle kim leaning against the side of the sofa, his eyes focused on your every movement like an eagle sizing up a little rat. if you squint, you think you see his nose flaring. your father is leaned up against the console adjacent to you, his expression unreadable and your mother is sitting next to auntie kim, jaw dropped to the ground.
seokjin sits in poised elegance next to you, brows set in a strong unwavering line, making his eyes all the more forbidding.
“are you sure, sunghee?” your father asks slowly, his voice raspier than usual.
“i saw them shoving their tongues in each other’s mouths for heaven’s sake, i may be old but i’m not blind, daesong.” she snaps.
the room falls silent once again as your mother’s quivering voice hits the air, “i… how long has this been going on?”
she looks up at you, eyes glittering like shattered pieces of glass. you would be lying if you said your heart isn’t palpitating in your chest. yet you’re unsure if it’s remorse or hurt because she’s looking at you as though you’ve committed the worst crime: tainting the family’s honor.
“six months.” seokjin says firmly, “ever since we started getting in touch again.”
the implication of you being in a relationship—is this even that though? you’re not sure—from the moment you first started talking again causes your mother to let out a woeful sob.
“and,” you place a hand on seokjin’s hand that’s resting on his thigh, making him turn to you as he places his free hand on top of your hand that’s on the one on his thigh, “three weeks since we found out we’re pregnant.”
all of a sudden, a weep echoes in the room and you think you hear the sound of something breaking somewhere. yet seokjin’s expression remains uncannily neutral. the only indication he’s surprised is the way his dark gaze lights up with surprise yet before you can confirm whether that minuscule twinkle in his eyes is felicity, your father grabs seokjin by the shirt and swings his fist right into seokjin’s handsome face.
“dad!” that’s the first real scream that erupted from you.
seokjin heaves out an antagonized sigh, face contorting with pain and the impact of the blow. but he doesn’t even dodge the second one even if he saw it coming, staring right into your father’s eyes.
and he would get a third blow if not for you.
“stop! uncle kim knows too!” you shriek just as your father raises his fist once more, his blood-flecked eyes burning with rage but for a different reason now, “uncle kim knows and threatened oppa to come home or he’ll tell you about us!”
“daesong, i—i didn’t tell you because the kids looked so happy together,” uncle kim pushes himself off the armrest and stands almost defensively as lies pour out of his mouth.
unfortunately for him, he’s a man.
a sob leaves your lips as you suppress the rest of your sniffles with a hand clasped against your mouth, “uncle kim forced us to break up even though we tried explaining. just now was a mistake,” you watch seokjin’s bruised face turn to you in your periphery, the wince washed away by your weeping declaration, “seokjin was ready to leave everything behind but i—i couldn’t bear to give the child up for adoption and when we met today—i’m sorry, i kissed you.” you look into seokjin’s stricken eyes, your vision blurred with crocodile tears.
“don’t be sorry,” seokjin says calmly, his hand twitches to touch caress your face but you father yanks him away from you.
“because he’s going to get married to chae seoyeon!” uncle kim’s voice rises in a mix of ludicrosity and frustration, “and the baby—is it even seokjin’s?”
chae soyeon. that’s not a foreign name. there’s only one chae family who has a daughter at a marriageable age with a legacy of a hundred years behind her.
“namjung, you…” you father trails off, hands falling to his side as he turns to stand directly in front of uncle kim.
upon his release, seokjin finds his way to your side, his arm around your shoulder as he pulls you into him. it’s almost as though he’s trying to shield you away from his father and the world.
“dad, that’s enough.” seokjin says calmly but his voice is ridden with icicles—you feel a chill go down your spine.
it doesn’t take a genius to know that he willingly let your dad hit him. if seokjin wanted to, he would’ve been able to throw both of your fathers off him if they came at him together.
you glare tearfully at the elder man, “i’m sorry, uncle kim, you may be older and the father of my child’s dad but—i can’t let you insult me like this.”
“insult—!” uncle kim echoes in disbelief, “if you hadn’t been such a sly fox—“
“watch your mouth, namjung, that’s my daughter you’re talking about.” your father interjects, his voice chilling your bones.
“oh, as if you don’t know what that minx is capable of.” auntie kim laments.
“____ is nine years younger than seokjin! he should’ve known better than to let this go on the moment he starts developing feelings for a girl he’s supposed to be taking care of like a little sister!
You came to this birthday party because it was organised by your friend Hye-mi.
You’d put an effort in, put on a dress because it felt like the right thing to do.
You don’t mind the dim lighting, the smell of sweat and alcohol, in some ways it’s comforting.
You wander out to the backyard. The fairy lights strung haphazardly along the fence separating it from the next yard make you smile. You’re looking up, beer in hand, trying to see the stars when you hear a voice.
‘It’s a nice night.’
You look around to see Minho, one of your brother’s old basketball teammates, looking at you.
You smile out of politeness but don’t say anything.
‘I used to play basketball with your brother,’ Minho says. He stops beside you, standing a little closer than you’d like but you can’t find it in yourself to care enough to move away.
‘I know,’ you say.
Wonho was friends with a lot of his teammates, but you don’t remember Minho being someone he hung out with much.
Minho nods to your beer. ‘Can I get you another drink?’
You look up at him. ‘I haven’t finished this one. But thank you.’
You smile again, out of politeness, preparing to make your excuses. You’d come out here to be alone.
‘Wonho said you were at our uni. What course are you taking?’ Minho asks.
‘I’m flunking out of economics,’ you tell him bluntly.
Instead of being shocked, he laughs. ‘I’m flunking out of politics.’
You tilt your beer at him. ‘Cheers.’
He clinks glasses with you. ‘Hey, let me get you another drink.’
As soon as he walks away you walk back into the house. You’re so busy looking behind you to make sure he hasn’t noticed you’re gone that you bump into someone else.
A strong hand comes out to steady you.
‘Are you ok?’
The deep voice is familiar. It’s Yoongi. You haven’t seen him since before your brother died.
‘I’m ok,’ you say.
You can feel him taking in the beer in your hand, your dress, which actually, now you come to think of it, is probably too short.
‘Come on. I’ll get you some water.’
Yoongi turns as though he’s got no doubt that you’ll follow him. You’re thinking about his confidence as he leads you to another part of the house, where the first person you see as you enter the room is Jin, on the sofa, a girl sitting very close to him.
This must be Mia. She’s beautiful.
Yoongi seems not to notice the way you’ve stiffened up.
He’s pouring you a glass of water, handing it to you.
‘Drink,’ he says briskly.
You glance at the door, trying to work out if you’d rather watch Jin and his girlfriend or be chatted up by Minho.
You’ve just decided you’ll leave rather than encounter either of those scenarios when Yoongi asks, ‘Why do you keep looking at the door?’
You look doubtfully at him over your glass of water.
‘I should go,’ you say.
‘I’ll take you home,’ Yoongi says, immediately. The tone of his voice brooks no objections.
You’re looking at him quizzically, wondering when he got so authoritative, when you realise Minho’s found you again.
‘You didn’t wait for me,’ Minho says to you.
‘I brought her in here,’ Yoongi says evenly. He’s convincing.
Minho and Yoongi exchange a look.
Yoongi raises his eyebrows slightly, but doesn’t say anything else.
You look away from them both and realise Jin’s looking at you.
Your eyes meet his.
‘I’ve gotta go,’ you say.
‘Do you have a jacket?’ Yoongi asks. Without waiting for an answer, he’s slipping off his jacket, putting it around your shoulders.
You leave the party with Yoongi. He leads you to his car, parked a few blocks away.
‘You don’t have to drive me all the way home,’ you tell him. ‘I can get a cab.’
Yoongi shrugs. ‘I was going to go anyway.’
He starts the engine. ‘You probably could have dealt with Minho on your own.’
You nod. ‘He’s a little annoying, but I probably could have.’
‘Wonho would have wanted one of us to look out for you, though,’ Yoongi says.
‘So what are you? My honorary big brother? I wasn’t in the market for a new one.’ The words leave your mouth before you realise what you’re saying.
You apologise. ‘I’m sorry, Yoongi.’
Yoongi just laughs. ‘That’s why you could have dealt with him on your own.’
He signals to turn.
‘Seen Jin lately?’ Yoongi asks.
‘He was at that party with his girlfriend,’ you say. ‘Wasn’t he?’
‘You know Mia?’ Yoongi asks.
You shake your head. ‘No. I’m just guessing it was her from the way she was in his lap.’
Yoongi laughs again. ‘You sound just like Wonho sometimes.’
You look out your window. ‘I miss him.’
‘Me too,’ Yoongi says.
He pulls up outside your apartment. ‘Can you get up there on your own?’ he asks, looking up out the window.
You scoff. ‘I’m not drunk.’
Yoongi rolls his eyes. ‘I don’t regret not having a sister. Come on.’
He gets out and opens your door for you. ‘Got any ramyeon?’
You frown at him. ‘You want me to make you ramyeon?’
Yoongi just looks at you.
You sigh. ‘Ok, sure. I was hungry anyway.’
***
Yoongi’s sitting on the armchair in your living room, sinking into it with a barely suppressed groan.
He’s making himself more comfortable than you’d expected considering you haven’t really hung out just the two of you before, but you’re not mad at him.
He’s looking at the picture of you and Wonho on your mantelpiece.
‘He had a similar picture of you two on his wall, except in his, you’re cross-eyed.’
‘Bastard,’ you say. You can’t help but laugh.
Yoongi laughs too. ‘You can’t blame him. The number of guys who asked for your number – ‘
You look at him incredulously.
Yoongi grins. ‘In high school, and then university.’
You can’t believe him.
‘He said he was worried about me getting a crush on you,’ you say.
Yoongi smiles at you. ‘I’m pretty irresistible.’
You roll your eyes. ‘Come on, ramyeon’s ready.’
Yoongi looks up at you over his steaming bowl.
‘Why do you think he never had anyone else over to dinner apart from me?’ Yoongi asks.
You look at him curiously.
‘It was for you, idiot. He was looking out for you. He didn’t want any of his friends messing with you.’
‘But you’re immune to me?’ you ask, tilting your head.
Yoongi looks at you seriously. ‘I’m not immune to you. But I respected your brother too much to ever mess with you.’
‘I miss him, Yoongi,’ you say. ‘I miss him a lot.’
Yoongi pushes a box of tissues towards you. ‘You’re not going to cry on my shoulder are you? This is a new shirt.’
Now you’re half crying, half-laughing.
Yoongi gets up and gets beers from your fridge like he belongs in your apartment.
He cracks one open and passes it to you. ‘To Wonho, the most protective older brother there ever was.’
You clink your beer with him.
It’s so nice to have someone to reminisce about Wonho with, you could cry.
Yoongi eyes you over his beer. ‘Do you cry when you’re drunk?’
‘I’m not going to cry on you, Yoongi,’ you say. You dab your eyes with a tissue. ‘And I’m not drunk.’
You frown at him. ‘Stop giving me beer.’
Yoongi laughs. ‘You’re right. Sorry.’
He finishes off his beer and gets up. ‘Are you going to be ok?’ he asks.
You raise an eyebrow. ‘You gonna offer to put me to bed?’
Yoongi shakes his head. ‘Brat. Don’t miss me when I’m gone.’
You giggle at his audacity.
He stops at the door. ‘If you want to hang out, call me.’ He puts his hand on your arm. ‘I miss him too.’
You don’t know if it’s the alcohol or talking to Yoongi, but that night, you sleep better than you have in ages.
***
Yoongi’s invited you to watch him play basketball and you figured it’s better than sitting in your apartment watching TV.
It’s a Thursday night, and you hadn’t expected there to be such a crowd when you turned up. You can see Yoongi and a few other guys you know vaguely through Wonho warming up by the bench. He spots you and waves.
You wave back a little self-consciously, at first unsure if he’s waving at you. You can see the way his mouth curves in a grin as he looks at you, like he’s laughing at you.
You roll your eyes, and he grabs his phone out of his duffel to wave it at you.
Yoongi: Thanks for coming. Don’t fall in love with me.
You gag exaggeratedly, and you could swear you hear his huff of laughter across the crowd.
Y/N: Score a few points for Wonho, will you?
Yoongi looks at his phone, then turns back to you. He smiles, and nods. He points to the black sweatband he’s wearing on his left wrist.
You slip your phone back in your pocket. Someone slides into the seat next to yours, thigh nudging yours.
You raise an eyebrow and look up straight into Jin’s face.
Jin nods at you. ‘Hey, Y/N.’
You look at the person next to him, half-expecting to see Mia, getting ready to move seats.
It’s some guy you don’t know.
Jin sees you looking. ‘I’m on my own.’
You look away. ‘How are you, Jin?’ you ask.
‘I’m good,’ Jin tells you. ‘I haven’t seen much of you these last few weeks.’
‘I quit my job at the call centre,’ you tell him. You’re trying to get your life back on track, going through the motions of what’s expected for you to be doing at university.
Hence the party, where you’d seen Jin and Mia.
Hence this basketball game, where Jin’s sitting next to you.
‘You following me?’ you ask. It’s a lame attempt at a joke.
Jin, always kind, laughs. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he says.
You don’t know what to make of that.
Jin reaches in his pocket and holds out his palm.
There’s a silver hoop earring and a yellow hair tie in it.
‘I found these at the cabin,’ Jin says. ‘They’re yours aren’t they?’
‘Been carrying them around with you?’ you ask.
‘Yoongi said you might be here tonight.’ Jin shrugs. ‘I figured, since I don’t see that much of you anymore –’
He stretches the hair tie out on his fingers and places it around your wrist.
He looks at your ears. You only have one pair of earrings in.
‘Can I?’ he asks.
He leans close, hand brushing your hair out of your face, and you hold your breath.
His hands are warm, gentle, as he pushes the point through your second piercing hole and fastens it.
He stays there a moment, face close to yours.
‘You can breathe,’ he says, so quietly.
‘I don’t think I can, Jin.’
You shift in your seat, and Jin pulls back.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.’
‘It’s ok, Jin.’
You’re sitting, trying to watch the game, but everything is distracting you.
Specifically, Jin is distracting you.
He hasn’t said anything since he apologised for making you uncomfortable, but somehow he’s even more obtrusive when he’s not saying anything.
His thigh is tantalisingly close to yours. You can’t stop looking at the length of it, wedged against the seat in front.
His shoulder is pressed to yours, except when he lifts his arms to cheer.
His cologne is faint but definitely there, the same familiar smell.
You hadn’t thought about him in the throes of your grief but you’ve been missing him since you saw him again.
You force yourself to remember how he looked pressed against Mia at the birthday party.
You tell yourself that this man is not for you.
Jin’s watching you, again. ‘I always wonder what you’re thinking.’
‘I’m wondering where your girlfriend is, and if she knows her boyfriend is putting another girl’s earrings in for her.’ You can’t say it fairer than that.
Jin’s gaze doesn’t leave yours.
‘Mia and I broke up.’
You blink.
‘It was that night at the party.’ Jin stops and grimaces. ‘I was-‘
He breaks off, and you wait.
‘I was a mess after you left with Yoongi,’ Jin tells you. ‘Minho wouldn’t stop talking about you. I knew you’d be ok with Yoongi but I -‘
He breaks off again.
‘Ihated the idea of you with him. Never mind that he’s one of my best friends.’
‘We ate ramyeon and talked about Wonho,’ you say. You’re still processing the rest of what he’s said to you.
‘I know,’ Jin says. He huffs out a breath. ‘I’m trying to say I care about you.’
‘So say it, Jin.’
Around you, the crowd erupts in cheers. You have no idea what’s going on in the game.
‘I care about you,’ Jin tells you.
You cup your hand behind your ear and pretend not to hear him.
‘I care about you,’ Jin says, louder.
You tilt your head and lean a little closer.
‘I care about you!’ shouts Jin, just as the crowd falls quiet.
You realise everyone around you is staring at you two. You glance at the court, where Yoongi’s looking up at you both, shaking his head.
You can see his smirk developing from here.
You put your hand on Jin’s arm. ‘Come on. Let’s get out of here.’
***
Jin smiles sheepishly at you outside the sports hall where the basketball game is taking place.
‘I care about you too, Jin,’ you say.
His smile becomes even more radiant, and for the hundredth time, you marvel at his beauty.
‘I don’t want this to be some charity thing,’ you say. Your words are clumsy, but Jin seems to understand.
‘Trust me, I’ve thought about it,’ he says, so seriously you’re taken in at first.
‘I like smart girls, but I’ve seen your grades. I like cute girls, and you’re prickly as fuck. I like girls who eat, but you eat all of my food quicker than I can.’
His voice grows serious. ‘I thought I’d feel sorry for you because of Wonho, but you’re still here, still putting your life back together. You’re stronger than I am.’ He shakes his head. ‘I have no idea why the idea of being with you is so appealing to me.’
You rush at him, and he holds you back, laughing.
‘Maybe it’s just that you’re pretty,’ he says.
You pull away.
‘I’m not listening to this.’
Jin grabs your arm as you turn. ‘I don’t know why I want to be with you, but I know that I do.’
You look down at his hand around your forearm.
‘It’s not the most romantic confession I’ve ever heard,’ you say.
Jin’s slowly turning you around, pulling you closer.
‘I’m not a romantic guy,’ he says.
Your faces are so close now you can barely breathe.
Jin straightens his tie one last time and wipes his sweaty hands on his trousers. Yoongi, beside him, touches his arm.
‘Ready?’
It’s Wonho’s funeral, and Jin’s going with Yoongi and Wonho’s basketball teammates.
Jin looks out the window as Yoongi drives.
‘Have you spoken to Y/N?’ Yoongi asks.
Jin shakes his head. ‘I’ve called her, but she hasn’t answered. I don’t want to add to her burdens. I’ve texted her.’
Yoongi nods. ‘I can’t believe he’s actually gone. It seemed so fast.’
Jin thinks back to the months in hospital with you and Wonho. It hadn’t seemed fast at the time.
The turnout at the funeral is huge. Wonho had been popular, well-liked.
Jin’s looking around for your familiar face. He finally spots you sitting next to your parents. Your head is bowed, your face shadowed.
Your parents are led away by a group of relatives, and you’re on your own.
Jin’s halfway to you before he realises he’s moving.
He sits down next to you.
‘Hey,’ he says.
You look up at him. Your face is devoid of expression, your pupils tiny pinpricks despite the light.
You look like you’ve been sedated. There’s no hint of the girl he’s gotten to know over the last few months.
‘Hi,’ you say. Your voice is ever so slightly slurred.
‘I’m so sorry, about Wonho,’ Jin says.
You nod. ‘Thank you.’
You turn away. Jin stays with you until your parents come back, not wanting to leave you alone.
You don’t look at him again.
***
Jin’s spent the weekend at the cabin by the lake with his family, enjoying the last of the summer before he has to start his next semester at medical school.
He’s clearing out his room when he spots it, a yellow hair tie he’s seen in your hair a lot. It’s dropped behind a chair in a corner of his room. When he reaches to fish it out, he spots something else, a tiny silver hoop earring he’s also seen in your ears.
Jin opens the small case he keeps his jewellery in to put your things in for safekeeping.
He wonders if he should mail them to you.
He pulls out his phone and looks at a text he sent you after Wonho’s death.
‘I’m sorry. I’m here if you need anything.’
There are two ticks beside it to show you’ve read it, but you haven’t replied. He hadn’t expected you to, but he’d wanted you to know he was there.
Your family had left a few things in the cabin after Wonho’s death. His mom has put everything in a box to return to you.
Without thinking too much about it, Jin volunteers to drop the box off at your house.
Which is how he finds himself, this Sunday night, outside your door, laden with the box and the packed food his mother insisted on him taking with him.
He’s never been to your house before, unlike Yoongi.
Your father opens the door, and greets him warmly. There’s grief etched in the lines of his face but he’s otherwise composed.
He invites Jin in for a drink, which Jin accepts out of politeness and the hopes that he’ll get to see you.
Your mother, in the kitchen, exclaims over the food Jin’s brought and presses a bundle of oranges on Jin to take back with him to thank his mother for her food.
Jin’s finishing up his drink, preparing to leave, resigned to the fact that he won’t see you.
He reaches in his pocket to take out the earring and hair tie he’s brought for you and passes it to your mother.
Your mother looks at the items in his outstretched palm, an odd expression in her eyes.
She looks up at Jin. ‘Wonho used to tell us you looked out for Y/N when she was in the hospital with him.’
Jin bows his head slightly. ‘She helped me a lot too.’
To his surprise, your mother closes his fingers over his palm. ‘Give them back to her when you see her next.’
She smiles at him kindly.
Jin is about to protest but the look in her eyes makes him stop. ‘I will,’ he promises.
It’s months before he sees you again.
***
It’s the first week of the new semester, and Jin’s slipping his notebook into his bag after his anatomy class when he’s approached.
‘Are you Seokjin?’
Jin looks up to see a pretty girl smiling at him.
‘Yes,’ he says politely. ‘What can I help you with?’
‘I’m in your year. My name’s Mia. Jae says you have some great anatomy notes, I was wondering if you could share them with me?’
‘Sure,’ Jin says. ‘What’s your email address? I’ll email you.’
‘Why don’t I give you my number?’ Mia suggests. ‘Maybe we can meet up and do some revision together.’
Jin starts to say that he revises best alone, but Mia seems nice enough, so he takes her number and arranges to meet her over coffee.
***
It’s been months since your brother died, and you’re still trying to pick up the pieces.
Your grief is ever present. Some days it’s unrelenting, weighing on every thought in your head like an echo. Some days it recedes, loosens its grip.
Every day you wait for the sharpness of it to fade.
To your despair, the fade takes with it the other memories of your brother, ones you don’t want to lose.
You wake up in a cold sweat one night, not able to remember your brother’s favourite colour. The rational part of you tries to tell you it doesn’t matter if you can’t remember it, but the grief-ridden part of you catastrophises.
Your brother’s slipping away from you again, and just like the first time, you can’t do anything about it.
You have no idea where your brother is now, but you’ve never prayed so hard for an afterlife.
You can’t bear the idea that he’s gone forever.
Surprisingly, your parents seem to be coping with the loss better than you. Or maybe they’re just putting on a better front than you can.
Because you can’t put on a front.
You feel raw.
You look out your window at the car that’s leaving your driveway, and there’s a sudden jolt of an emotion you can’t name as you recognise it as Jin’s car.
Jin.
You haven’t thought about him since your brother died.
There are countless texts on your phone, and you can’t remember any of them. You don’t think you’ve replied to any of them.
Where would you even begin?
There’s a date in your head you try to focus on, of when you go back to university, an expiry date for your wallowing.
The first week you’re back, you spot an advert for jobs at a call centre. It’s for night shifts. You don’t sleep that much anymore, turns out you can function on very little.
You sign up and are immediately recruited. Working weekend nights at the call centre gives shape to your weekends, a structure you need because you can’t make your own right now.
You wonder if this will ever get better.
In your darkest moments, you’re terrified that it won’t.
Warnings/Tags: handjobs, smut, light bondage, double orgasm, sofa riding, panty sniffing, Jin is a pretty boy, bi reader and Jin, Jungkook cameo, not beta read
Wc:4.8
a/n:so sorry for the long wait! This is my last of the commissions from my Kinky Kommissions fundraiser for SW rights and awareness!
It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.
Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.
Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…
pairing; kim seokjin x f reader au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov words; 8,410
warnings for this chapter (!) jungkook is a loveable asshole, first baby check-up which includes a transvaginal ultrasound, oc gets a teeny-weeny bit jealous but she won’t admit it, SERA (she needs her own warning by now lmao)
If Sera finds out and tells the whole office because yn lost her picture at the restaurant, I’m gonna virtually throw hands at her!!!
Jk and Hobi were great, I love how Hobi was an option for accidentally impregnating someone before Jin, need to hear why Jk thought so . They’re gonna be great uncles, I’m looking forward to their meeting.
I was kinda looking forward to Sera and Yoongi running into Yn and Jin. Wanted to see both of their reactions. Something tells me Yoongi is going to start acting weird now.
