I know I’m pretty new to 911 & buddie but I’ve been enjoying the ship in silence for a couple months & I have a question…
Why in the fanfics & headcanons does the fandom insist that Buck is loud & open but Eddie is the one who fails to express his feelings?
I can see where you get confused, Eddie is catholic (to an extent), was in the military, has a panic attack over a new relationship that results in a doctor calling him “repressed”. All those surface level point to a man who is terrible at expressing himself I get it.
But I wanna talk about Buck & Eddie here & how canon shows us this isn’t TRUE.
Buck may be loud in his love but only with other people who aren’t Eddie.
Like with his sister, when he first starts his friendship with Eddie he goes on & on about what a great father he is & how he needs some help. She even calls it a crush before giving him advice. He doesn’t talk about this moment with Eddie of course.
Then we have off screen to think about. Where he calls Carla to ask for help on Eddie’s behalf. Because we KNOW the conversation was probably similar to the one he had with Maddie. Where he rants & raves about how great Eddie is as a father & how adorable Chris is before explaining that they need a little help. Carla, well she probably thinks about the time Abby’s mom went missing & Buck rushed over to help find her even when him & Abby hadn’t even MET yet because that’s what he does for people he loves. He tries to fix the problems for them & Carla probably gets it. Understands before Buck might even that he loves Eddie & doesn’t hesitate to meet with this mystery person with the amazing son.
If you think Eddie is quiet you are mistaken, he is private. Also he can express his feelings very well you just may not be able to translate them yet.
Because Eddie doesn’t say things in a way people can always understand but if you do than you can hear Eddie screaming his love for Buck & you wouldn’t call him quiet.
Eddie “you can have my back anyday” Diaz isn’t quiet.
After the tsunami he looked Buck in the eye with his hand on his shoulder & thumb on his pulse & said clear as day “Buck, there’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.” Thats pretty freaking straightforward if you ask me.
Lets go to the well now. Where as soon as that dirt fell with Eddie under it Buck screamed & sobbed & yelled & tried to dig Eddie out with his bare hands in front of an audience of strangers some other firefighters & some not. And no one probably told Eddie how insane Buck went with grief. They probably never talked about it once he got out because under the water Eddie was passing out & Buck’s voice was the first one he heard when things started to go black. But then Eddie swam out & the first thing he did was go to his lawyer about changing his will.
Then we have the lawsuit & the grocery store argument. Where Buck is stumbling & stuttering & failing to make his team understand, to make Eddie understand his point of view because Buck isn’t actually SAYING anything. Then we have Eddie. Eddie who is PISSED Eddie who calls Buck exhausting & says how much he wishes he can talk to Buck & how much Chris MISSES Buck & yeah it hurts like hell to hear but at least Eddie is SAYING something when Buck isn’t saying much of anything.
Then we go to the make up. Where Buck is quick to make a joke about ghosting & Halloween because he fails at communicating well and Eddie doesn’t laugh because nothing about this has been funny to him. Then Buck gets serious & begs Eddie to talk to him even if its to yell & say he’s still angry like he did in the grocery store. Because Buck knows anything is better than this silence because Eddie normally isn’t this silent, not with him, not with Buck anyway. Then they are okay again or at least on their way.
Don’t get me wrong though Buck still fails at interpreting Eddie speak too, even if he’s the expert. Like in that kitchen scene (you know the one) where Buck admits his failure to see Eddie was in pain & needed help. He even says he understands that Eddie probably wanted to beat the crap out of him & Eddie laughs it off like “I wouldn’t do that… you’re on blood thinners” & Buck doesn’t fully grasp that’s Eddie speak for “I would never hit you no matter how pissed you make me.” It doesn’t matter though because their son is in the living room waiting for a round of video games so they just fall back into their routine.
Then we get to the shooting. There’s so much blood, so much so that Eddie gets confused & asks if Buck is hurt because he thinks he may have been shot too & that would probably kill Eddie before the bullet does.
Then we have Buck being asked if he’s okay by a fellow firefighter & him answering an honest “no”, then he’s shaking in front of Taylor, & breaking down crying in front of Chris & all these people GET it. Get how much Buck loves Eddie but Eddie doesn’t SEE these moments does he? He may get a second retelling by his son but by then Buck already mentioned the crying & its been downplayed & washed of any romantic subtext. And Buck says how he should have gotten shot instead of Eddie & you can SEE the tears forming in Eddie’s eyes because how can Buck casually say such a heartbreaking thing like that? Doesn’t he GET it? How much he means to Eddie? Hasn’t he HEARD Eddie over the years? Then Eddie realizes once again that even Buck isn’t an absolute expert on Eddie speak yet so he doesn’t know giving him his son to watch & love is the equivalent to Eddie ripping out his own heart & saying “here its yours.” Or that “you can have my back” isn’t a proper way to ask someone out. Or that “Chris misses you” doesn’t exactly translate into “I miss you” automatically.
Then they talk & Eddie says that Buck is legally in charge of his child in the result of his death because Buck is important & loved & not expendable like he thought because how could he have ever thought that? And Eddie did this a year ago right after he almost died & the first voice his heard in his head was Buck’s & its crazy to me that you guys say Buck is louder in his love & better at communicating when Eddie is out here getting legal documents filed out signed with Evan Buckley on them without hesitation.
Maybe you guys just aren’t an expert at Eddie speak yet.
not to sound delulu but….. Charles liked my reply to Tommy’s tweet in which i wrote that i attended their gig in Warsaw and added: *manifesting Big TV anniversary tour next year* so are we getting that tour or
Sometimes I feel like applying for research funding is an endless cycle. Because you want to discover or understand something new but then people financing the research don’t understand it (because it’s new or out of their comfort zone) so they don’t think twice about it so it doesn’t always get funded so the cycle continues.
You cant tell me the owls didn’t see the irony in taking the master emerald from the echidna because “no one should possess such power”, then proceeding to hide it in a place only they knew. basically the fantasy equivalent of “no one should have this much money, so let me put it away safely in my Swiss bank account.”
I’m never not going to love Zuko being just a complete jerk; I love how his default state is just asshole behavior or screaming with rage, love his unapologetic insulting quips to people he doesn’t even know; love how even when he loves someone he’s a dick like 50% of the time; a five foot three ball of angstandrage and I adore him for it
I cannot resist myself when it comes to songs, so here are some songs that sorta gives self-sacrifice in my huge pile of playlist :)
Arms Tonite - Mother Mother
Bad Bad Things - AJJ (in a very specific way lmao)
Brave as a Noun - AJJ (again in a very specific scenario in my head)
Welly Boots - The Amazing Devil
Minus Sixty-One - Woodkid
Guns for Hire - Woodkid
Inkpot Gods - The Amazing Devil (I had to edit this in after I posted this but this I think sorta fits)
The last one was on Arcane which is a banger show, and I don’t think the scene it was used for was self-sacrifice related? But god, the music is so fucking amazing, and the instruments going crescendo is just so fucking cool?? Like, I can totally hear the character’s realization settling over them like “holy shit, I’ve got to stick w this decision now I cannot back down. What will I do?” type thing.
i had made this swatch thing for @s4simomo‘s momo v2 palette, but i never used it bc soooo many swatches- but it’s so pretty !! i rly do love it and it has the perfect variety of colors. sad that they left simblr- i get it and totally respect leaving, but i wish their blog was kept up, esp since they had so many great hairs n stuff :(((
It was two centuries, before Thor saw his brother again.
Zeus had not needed to come to Asgard in person very often, after all. Not after the marriage finalized their alliance. Mostly he sent delegates, just as they sent delegates to Olympus.
And none of those delegates, none of them, brought word of Loki, beyond confirmation of his continued existence!
But there was a rare, powerful alignment of the stars soon. Asgard would be in the perfect position to benefit from it, and so had invited many important guests.
Thor waited in the bifrost chamber, formally arrayed alongside his parents, trying not to look as… as he felt.
Loki was coming! Loki!
He remembered being a child, and all the times he had latched onto a visiting child and whisked them away to play, leaving the adults to their boring talk. He was far, far too old for that now, but he wasn’t at all certain he was going to resist the urge when Loki appeared.
Loki! Would he recognize him? No, of course he would. Wouldn’t he? How much could Loki have changed, from fourteen to two hundred twenty?
Two hundred and six years of being married and ruling in Olympus.
At long, long last, Heimdall activated the bifrost, and the Olympians - plus one Loki - or should he think of Loki as an Olympian, after all this time? - appeared.
He picked Loki out at once.
He didn’t look much different at all! He’d gotten taller, of course, and filled out a bit, from the gangly teen Thor had last seen. But there was something still unfinished about him, as if he hadn’t quite reached full maturity, even yet.
It was his expression that was different. His expression that made Thor’s eyes sweep over him again, just to be sure. His style of clothing had changed, and his hair, but… it was Loki. Loki, with closed off eyes, and the sort of tension in his shoulders that seemed permanent.
He greeted their parents formally, graceful but unfamiliar, as if they were the King and Queen of Asgard only, whom he had never met. He only glanced around at the rest of the welcoming party, eyes passing over Thor as if he were no one of note.
Did he look so different? He supposed he had filled out quite a bit more than Loki had. And added facial hair. And… well, he didn’t think he looked so unfinished, but perhaps that was only denial.
Their parents and Zeus got to talking, all trying to diplomatically intimidate the other, as servants swirled around with baggage and arrangements. As soon as the party broke ranks to proceed down the bifrost bridge, Thor snapped out of place, and to Loki’s side.
“Loki!” He’d meant to hug him, but Loki stiffened and took a small step back, enough to stop him. “How…” What could he possibly ask, to encompass everything he’d missed? “are you?”
But Loki was looking at him warily, smiling only politely. “I am well, thank you, Lord…?”
He didn’t recognize him! And Thor wanted to laugh in relief, at having the key to erasing Loki’s standoffishness! “Brother, it’s Thor!”
Loki brightened a bit, in response to his own enthusiasm, but still looked puzzled. “Brother… Oh! Yes, that’s right, I remember! I did have a brother!”
Thor felt his smile fall. “Remember? Do you not-“
“You said your name was… Thorn? Oh… I’d almost forgotten I had a brother! I was so young when I left Asgard.” He finally fell into step with the tail end of the party leaving the bifrost, apparently in no hurry to walk with Zeus, and tilted his head for Thor to walk with him.
“Thor!” Thor protested. “You were fourteen, Loki, hardly a toddler! You must remember!”
Loki frowned, and shrugged, looking more annoyed to be told what he must remember than at his lack of memory. “I remember some things, of course. But really, who remembers much of childhood?”
“I remember you!”
“Ah, but you’re… older?” His tone suggested it was a guess.
“By less than a year! I remember…” Everything. “I remember you very well.”
Loki shrugged. “I suppose it must be easier to remember when you’re living in the place of your memories, continuing the life of your memories. You may remember, with all your clarity, that I was moved to Olympus, and immediately expected to act as an adult in Olympian court.”
There was a definitely a tint of bitterness in his voice, but Thor latched onto a different, more terrifying detail. “An adult?”
“So I hardly had cause to wallow in- Yes, of course. I was married to Zeus, Thorn. You said you remembered.”
“But… but you were married later. You were taken to Olympus to continue your education in their ways; you weren’t married right away!”
Loki gave him an irritated look. “I assure you, I was. Ceremony. Feast. Marriage bed.” He snorted. “I suppose that’s education.”
He grabbed Loki’s arm, jerking them both to a halt, dragging him around to face him. “He took you into his marriage bed? That night?” He could feel the storm growing. Could feel the weight of Mjolnir, channeling it, pulling at it, seeming to grow heavier at his side.
“Let go of me!” Loki snarled. As if all too used to being roughly handled.
But Thor squeezed his arm harder, bruising. Lightning was beginning to dance over his skin. “Did he FUCK you when you were FOURTEEN, Loki?” His voice was far too loud. He didn’t care who heard.
No. He did care. He wanted that sick rapist to hear, to dread, to know what was coming.
And when Loki, still pulling away from his grip, said “Yes, of course he-“, Thor decided this dread was going to be the last thing Zeus would ever feel.
He released Loki, freed his hammer, and with half a swing, lunged over the frozen gawking servants, toward the front of the procession.
With every spark of power he could command, he brought the full force of himself and Mjolnir down on the rapist who had stolen his brother.
But of course, he wasn’t the only god of thunder in the fight.
most enjoyable to write:So far but so close (it was just pining and star metaphors XD)
most out of your comfort zone to write/fic you’re most proud of: Most out of my comfort zone is probably Of ravens, foxes and marauders because I haven’t written something like that before and fic I’m most proud of is Home isn’t always a place
