Imagine, if Paul’s and Hugh’s stories had been about their fear of coming out to their fellow crew. That is how Adira’s story is handled.
Not the most ideal, hopeful, or exemplary premise for the state of humanity in a show set 200-1000 years in the future.
Age, yes, is a difference, and discovery of self an endless work in progress. But, for a representation of supposedly ‘better’ future humanity altogether, the story sets a miserable example about assumed expectations and gender norms. The idea we see play on screen is that folks in Trekkian future still assume/assign gender (by binary), and needlessly call people by such specifications (strangers even). Thus, placing the burden of 'coming out’ still on those of humanity who do not match those certain prevailing gender(binary)standards(or on those not identifying by gender at all, it would follow).
(Ah. I hope I can stop writing about this soon. It’s a real drag. But as of now, the show compels.)
I would be okay with this being just a Stamets thing, even! Seems an apt character trait for one quite removed from social decorum, anyway (As I’ve previously ruminated, too). But, that the whole of the present crew/humanity is shown to be just as set with assuming gender on stranger(s), and then make the 'telling them’ to be a thing of distress, too…
What about the option of dropping the gendering, and defaulting to non-gendered approach? Was that ever even considered? Or was the ‘nonbinary anguish’ so good plot material it was worth imposing these old standards onto future humanity?
Just as we don’t assume sexuality (or constantly call others out for it, in fact), so we should not assume gender (or unnecessarily call people out for it). That’s how I always imagined the Trekkian future to be. Now it feels Disco’s proposed Trek humanity is less ideal, than it has ever seemed before.
I must admit having felt hopelessly lost (and quite cast out from the initially most welcoming of Treks) by this presented idea for a Trekkian future, where kids (and adults alike) still are urged to affirm/correct their assumed gender (or sexuality) to random people confronting them (intentionally, or by presumptions). People, who are inexplicably (still) set on assuming by certain standards.
Which is disappointing for the one Trek, which finally shows interest and attempt in wider representation, and which continues to market itself as the inclusive one (yet while fulfilling that, also enforces implications that these certain perceivable contemporary expectations still exist).
This particular plot line read like an experience portrayed very much from a binary assumptive POV (likely matching many, who themselves come from binary assumptive and/or enforcing environments); giving a dreary image of future where being outside certain gender expectations is shown to (still)be a thing of anxiety for a ‘poor’ individual coerced to ‘come out’ for their gender (because of the gendered language forced upon them). While the one who originally and repeatedly assigns gender on them gets celebrated and patted on back for ultimately being so accepting in the resulting scenario they themselves created and forced upon the ‘poor gender nonconformant’; now a newly revealed ‘exception to the accustomed gender rules’.
So sweet, sweet, and beautifully tender as these scenes were, and as well intentioned, the cost of them was the implication of this being a thing still; ‘coming out’, the fear of it, and the fact of ‘assuming’ in the first place. The whole (adorably sweet intentioned) ‘adoptive fathers’ thing registers very manipulative in a sense of imposing a binary assumptive environment and forcing Adira to confide to their hapless ‘assailant’ in it.
The power dynamic in this scenario should be completely opposite, imho: where Stamets would be confronted for the gendered assumptions, not Adira for not fitting those gendered assumptions.
Starfleet itself, as portrayed by Disco, gender codes their officers by binary (whether human or not… which is a whole extended mess in supposed implications, really). Which nary a Trek has done so uniformly since TOS in the 60′s.
Disco’s presentation of Adira’s story (as it is) amplifies a ‘bright future’, where you conform to binary gender standards, or be forced to ‘come out’ and exist as an ‘other’ in it.
…
What if gender-neutral language had been assumed here in Adira’s case from the get go?This whole contemporarily resonant storyline unfortunately one-to-one recreation of ‘most popular’ contemporary experience of misassigned identity and forced ‘coming out’ would’ve been nonexistent. And imagine what an example it would’ve set! The one example you’d wantexpectneedTrek to set: the example of not assuming gender! By default - not because someone is cornered into telling you not to do it.
They could’ve been allowed to divulge the nature of their self and gender at their own terms, at their own time, in individual detail, to whom ever they chose (not necessarily the one most adamantly bugging them for it). Or not let such details bother them at all, if they so chose. Because language wouldn’t have forced them to.
…
As someone who’s lived whole of their live with a language without gender I can only say, that it is an empowering, liberating (and dang unifying) experience not to have the nature of your self be constantly challenged by the whims of others’ regard of your presentation. (One does not fully appreciate it, until someone comes at you saying, that from now on you must regard people primarily by their gender - and good luck assigning one for yourself, too, just so people can point at it). What neutral speech does, is allow one the freedom to be who they are, by their own standards, wholly equal with others, regardless of anyone’s gender or none… regardless of anything.
I fear, that those who will now through Trek learn to regard ‘they’ solely as a ‘nonbinary’ nomer, aside ‘he’ and ‘she’, might not realize the use of ‘they’ for its vital purpose of plain neutral. An important default in approaching the subject of unfamiliar individuals; an all encompassing neutral. Not something only separate from binary, but including any person, no matter where or how on the spectrum of gender (binary included). Its very purpose not to touch anyone’s gender (what or none ever such may be).
Like it is widely used today, in English too. Apparently without many even noticing; non-gendered language exists on current day Earth, in various forms, and English is (still)among the lucky languages to have a capability for it, too. Not all are so lucky. To think that these humans we see on screen - with their apparently indiscriminately gender assigning mindsets - would represent the future best of all of humanity, seems disheartening. A step or few back for those of us, who already see (regardless our language) past this particular obstacle.
…
While I obviously continue to be happy that Disco has taken on its mission statement to expand the long overdue wider representation in Trek, I am sorry that it doesn’t seem able or willing to find a way to present their 'inclusive’ statements in a way that wouldn’t imply modern day shortcomings on the supposed future humanity; in a way that wouldn’t 'other’ those who are often othered today.
And it is obviously amazingto see the character resonate with and acknowledge people with similar experiences today; where unnecessary gendering is still a thing build in societies’ consciousness and/or in the very languages they use. Or know to use.
…
I must admit feeling somewhat dry in creativity lately (’promoting’ those dang uniforms is getting increasingly off-putting with this latest stunt of ‘non-binary exception to enforce the rules’), and depleted of inspiration now that these newly set, limited standards rather overshadow the Trek realm I’ve always envisioned; where the humanity would’ve already had the norm of gender variance, and universal awareness of gender-neutral approach, too.
…
Or maybe… maybe it’s just Stamets? (And others after example?) I’d be more than happy to put the blame for this whole gender debacle solely on the dear, unsociable, stubbornly opinionated astromycologist, to 'save’ the implied standards of the wider humanity of 2250 *ha* …*sigh*
(In which case I’d also not be opposed to hear someone call Paul out for it in passing; to clear the ‘fact’ that this sort of thing is not what ‘we the future humanity’ do in general, but an individual whim. Not Adira, though; not their fucking job! Not in the future they exist in. Hugh, actually. Perhaps have Hugh school Paul on some basic etiquette the next time Mushroom daddy does it again. Or if not Hugh, idk, just any 2250 (or beyond) rando who surely knows better).
Perhaps Surely the gender spectrum does still exist there among the Fleet crew(s), like one always imagined. And the occasionally endearingly obnoxious figure like Stamets was just a rare unattuned individual. Not completely his fault, though (within the frames of the on screen presentation, anyway); in Disco’s unfortunate case they would all be clothed in them male/female coded uniforms. But you know, they’d be there at least; some off-screen, dressed in them skants perhaps(**; anything but just a single confused and harassed 'anomaly’ from 1000 more years in the future being the supposed ‘first’ these folks encounter outside their he/she paradigm. I think we can and would do better in just 200+ years, already.
If we’d keep on presenting good examples.
…
In case you can’t see, I am trying my hardest to keep faith with the show. Which, btw, has indeed been increasingly amazing otherwise from season to season - as far as I’m concerned. Those ‘otherwisely’ focused surely have varying opinions and nitpicks of other nature, but this happened to be a topic close for me.
Oh, and in closing, because other than the aforementioned, there were things most awesome in this episode, too: the inspiring new factoid of someone playing the piano - whaaat? (At least for couple notes). Keyla’s arc has been so awesome this season! And Hugh’s newly enhanced involvement (that mental health aspect has been dearly awaited since season one). Love seeing them so visibly, independently active. And Ryn, actually, getting scenes with Tilly was so… kismet *heh*
And, of course, that closing scene with our space boos! Maximum sweet <3 I could watch that over and over. (And there was the kiss we missed before!)
Also: Paul wearing a long sleeved shirt under the jacket; right away taking the whole benefit of having gotten rid of them augmentations *ha* Love. It.
__________
(Disclaimer: while currently the prevailing terminology, I am not in fact a fan of the term 'non-binary’ for myself; it too defines itself on the assumption of binary; which I’ve personally never experienced gender to be, nor myself a 'non’ in support of a supposed standard).
(** skant; the one unifier, which Disco has yet to show on anyone but 'woman’ coded crew: get on it). Hoping for Looking forward to a gender-neutralized uniform update somewhere in the future: those future uniforms on screen now, which look ‘Bajoran’ influenced, might just as well serve as the spark for them shoulder designs seen on ENT jumpsuits, were Discovery ever to make it back, eh?
…hmm, do I feel an art sparkle igniting.
….
(I’m actually yet to watch this arc/episode with local subtitles; interested to see how a nongendered language reverse engineers itself to accommodate dialogue/plot resolving around the complications of gendered speech - likely for the first time in Trek history. Stamets will in most likelihood literally have to say “this/that girl” in reference(s) to Adira, to force the gendered point in there, not so gracefully).
One has secretly hoped a scene of this nature to eventually make it onto the show, and the promo images promised it was coming now. So, one went in expecting to finally see on screen the sweet sweet scene of the couple all domestic, chilling on their bed, sharing thoughts; the one one has imagined so many times in various forms, be it in text or in illustrations. Seemingly topped with a kiss, as well - gorgeous for the unremarkable mundanity of itself, without any story points or grand gestures tied to it.
Though the promo image promised kiss was not to be seen, what the domestically set scene itself delivered in substance was such a validating treat one could not feel one bit amiss; something one couldn’t have expected, hoped for, or imagined to come worth.
The end scenes of the episode made some major personal head canons true on screen! Namely the fact of Paul immediately recognizing the nature of one talking by oneself as if to a lost loved one, and admitting carrying Hugh similarly with him after Dear Doctor’s death. And, the fact, that both of the men hate the augmentations on Paul’s arms.
Seemingly tiny things perhaps, but these have both been some of the most persistent themes in my past writing of these two. And much as I abhor to go back to my past scribbles, I felt compelled to quickly go through whole of the Honey Mushroom series, and collect below all of the narratives focused on Paul talking to Hugh in his mind, and the instances mentioning the shared bother of the spore drive augmentations.
Which now suddenly as if offer possible context for the on-screen dialogue:
“God, I hated those things.” “I hated them more.”
I realize this is quite individual a glee, specific to curious personal head canon nuggets (and perhaps to those who might’ve enjoyed the nuggets / nursed any similar own ideas), but I am beyond ecstatic for those nuggets to have now made it on screen and/or fit into the canon, complementary to the narrative!
How ever coincidental, I think one must thank at least Anne Cofell Saunders, the writer of the episode, for including these specific allusions / plot directions, and in doing so making reality of one’s particular head canons. And, that gratitude must also be extended to anyone else, who might’ve been involved in what ever capacity in the process of bringing these into the show’s in-universe reality.
Feels like such an immense affirmation of one’s year(s) spent passionately imagining these unmentioned-in-canon dimensions (regardless how ever fumblingly). Such joy to see these once dearly envisioned behind-the-scenes aspects brought on screen, and into the canon.
From my second ever narrative, and the first to mention the augmentations, if not yet for the precise shared discomfort factor. Also the first to feature Paul talking to Hugh after the death:
[He shifted on the chair and reached for his forearm. Feeling out the hard plastic augmentation with his fingers. Rubbing it in a circular motion on top of his muscles, letting the gentle pressure push against his bones.
They were another reason - the augmentations - why he had felt so bare at the gym dressing rooms. He had only ever really bared them in the engineering for their designed purpose, and with Hugh around in the sickbay or in the confinements of their quarters. He had showed them to few others of course on occasion, but on his own discretion. He wasn’t comfortable letting them ‘hang out’ like he had just done. It too left him feeling exposed.
“They keep insisting I go in for a medical examination”, Paul muttered out quietly, while skimming through his calendar, like he was expecting Hugh - his resident consultant on all things medical - to actually answer.]
From my only ‘alternative future’ story, with the first ever allusion to the shared discomfort with the apparatus. Also the narrative, which solidified the idea of Paul harboring Hugh ‘alive’ in his mind well after the death:
[ Paul smiled. He put his hand in his hair again, mussed it around a bit, adjusting it from side to side, observing it closely from the mirror. “And you won’t mind this either?” He asked with a faint look of apprehension on his face, “it’s still getting thinner and thinner each year.” “You know I always loved that”, Hugh spoke to him with most affectionate tone, as Paul could feel fingers play with the little swirl of thinning hair on the back of his head, “it makes you look irresistibly manly.”
“Like these”, Hugh continued, as Paul raised his arms in front of himself, displaying the thick, fluffy white hair covering his forearms, “I love falling asleep into this softness.” “Well, you’re in luck then. They sure aren’t thinning any”, Paul snickered, “I think the hair on my head might be migrating there in fact”. He could hear Hugh chuckle and felt a light encouraging pat on his hips.
Paul turned away from the mirror and walked slowly to the small kitchen cabin in the corner of the room. “Always hated shaving any of that off for those spore drive ports, just so you know.” he could hear Hugh’s voice commenting back at him. Paul was replicating his morning drink. “You won’t mind me saying then, how glad I was to get those off eventually”, Paul conversed in his head as he watched the replicator form a cup of tea.
“Of course not, Mushroom”, Hugh sounded to respond from the bed, “we’ve been through this many times. You don’t need to feel sorry for getting rid of those.”
“Yeah…” Paul muttered as he walked back to the room with a fresh cup of tea in his hands, “it just felt then like I was throwing something of you away”, he thought sitting down on the bed, “I know it’s silly.”
“It is. You know I wasn’t too keen on those things ‘hogging’ your arms either”, Hugh let out a little laugh, “and you really haven’t thrown any of me away.”
Paul looked sheepishly down to his tea. He knew what was coming.
“Don’t you think you should?” Hugh asked with a slight hint of worry in his voice.]
A short, based solely on the premise of the discomfort of the augmentations:
[ Hugh wakes up to it again. To Paul’s arm wrapping around him. Dang, it used to be one of the best feelings in the mornings to wake in the safety of his Honey Mushroom’s manly arms. Now, there’s often this unforeseen complication. And Hugh has in part himself to blame for it too.
“Mushroom”, Hugh tries to carefully arouse the sleeping man’s attention by shaking him a little. He gets no response.
“Honey, can you move your arm a bit”, Hugh tries a little louder and attempts to wiggle himself from the man’s grip, but Paul just mumbles something in his sleep and won’t move. The arm wants to hold on to Hugh. Dammit. He loves it, but just not like this.
“Paul!” Hugh makes no attempt to discretion anymore, “will you let go of me!”
“What!?” Paul wakes up shouting irately at the abrupt wake-up call.
“Your damn augmentation is boring into my hip again”, Hugh lets the understandably agitated response get to him and snaps back in equal tone, which is far more harsh than necessary.
“Well, who the fuck’s fault is it, it’s there!?” Paul huffs back, fiercely as only provoked Paul would - even when half asleep, like he is right now.
“I know, I know. And you’re very welcome, by the way”, Hugh sneers, “just move it”.
“Fine!” Paul scoffs and yanks his arm to his own side of the bed, turning his back to Hugh as he does so. Hugh turns back to face his side as well.
The doctor then immediately feels regret for having gotten so agitated. He’s upset for the situation - lamenting over losing those comfy arms for the good of this ship -, not mad at the man.
How difficult for the man himself it must be to adjust? And Paul hasn’t once complained. Oddly so.
Hugh had just let his own less than satisfactory wake-up ruin Mushroom’s morning as well, hadn’t he?
“I’m sorry, Paul”, Hugh turns to look at the man over his shoulder, "I didn’t mean to yell. I’m not upset with you".
“I know”, Paul’s sleepy voice sounds faintly somewhere behind the man’s back. He’s not turning back around.
Hugh worries his outburst might scare Paul to thinking twice before embracing him again. And he loves his cuddly Paul.
“Of course you’re still welcome to snuggle”, Hugh assures Paul, letting the regret sound in his voice.
But the man doesn’t hear him, he’s fast asleep again. And Hugh’s bed feels that much emptier without the safety of his man’s arms around him.]
From one, which references events referenced on screen, namely the introduction of the (preliminary) augmentations by revealing them installed on Paul’s arms:
[Maybe it had indeed been but a dream after all. Like all of this. Perhaps like all the other times he remembers too. Those instances when they had been somewhere quite surprising - and admittedly quite exciting -, getting distracted by each other from their intended tasks.
Like, when at the Medbay, setting up these brand new spore drive ports on his arms, for a brief stolen moment before the evening shift had arrived to relief Hugh.
Indeed, occasionally he had been back as they were in the middle of hurriedly moving that task to their quarters to follow up on those distractions. Like they must have done just now, judging from the state in which their clothes lay scattered around the room and by the selection of tools haphazardly laid on the coffee table next to them. Like they ever really had any intention to use those once here on this couch.
Paul regards the augmentations on his forearms.
He’s getting a lot of extra orientation practice to the devices through these repeats however, Paul muses. Would Hugh notice anything? Will Mushroom have hard time explaining to the doctor after all of this, how he’s so well adjusted to these things so soon after installation?
He realizes this right now as he catches himself cursing them, positioning his arms so that the ports wouldn’t chafe against their bare skins. Is it too late to rethink these apparatus?]
From one, where Paul regards the augmentations at Hugh’s wake:
[Paul remembers wrapping his arms around that waist each and every night.
He shifts his arms. The spore drive ports on his forearms, beneath the layers of sleeves, suddenly feel so alien again right then.
It’s not his first time in civilian clothing with them (thanks to his insistence on own comfort wear out of the uniform), but it is the first time with them off duty, since he’s off the ship. And they feel grossly out of place in these Earthly settings.
Hugh too had come to dislike them - his own invention - as soon as it had become apparent how they were an obstruction between their embraces.
Paul should get them removed, if they’ll no longer serve a purpose.
He takes his hands out of the pockets, folds his arms over his chest and goes back to staring across the room with what must appear quite a stern look.]
And this one, which doesn’t technically count for similar ‘shared bother’ reasons either, perhaps, but is a whole narrative very much build around the inconvenience of the augmentations:
Plus, couple saucy ones, which I won’t list here, lest I actually ever want to share this post *ha* More below:
While at it, (and, perhaps more importantly) here are the narratives build around the ideafact(!!) of Paul living with Hugh ‘alive’ in his mind after the death - in narrative order (some already featured above, too). Hardly captured by a single quote, but for a taste:
[He had finally heard it. The voice. Hugh’s voice trying to calm him down, “Paul. You need to let yourself be upset. You need to let the tears come.” ]
A delightful, relieved curiosity filled Paul’s mind momentarily as he peered into the darkness of the room wide-eyed, to see where the gentle, familiar voice calling him out was coming from.
Then he remembered, and with a loud, derisive scoff sank back into his darkened state of mind, slumping back down on the couch.
[None of this should matter. Not the suit, not the event, not the crowd. Paul is not here, and Hugh is not gone. Not yet anyway. They are still very much together, and just about to leave somewhere off by themselves, once done with this circus. To enjoy each others’ company somewhere away from all of this dreary pretend. Such a presentation, and for whose sake?
“You don’t mind, if I’m not honoring you in accordance to the Fleet standards, do you?”
He still gets no response. Hugh hasn’t talked to him since Paul disembarked that cursed ship. He’s still here though, isn’t he? Paul would surely feel it, if the man left.]
[“Yes. We are too damn young to be thinking about retiring yet.” Paul said and turned to look by his side instinctively, only to see there was really no-one there, of course.
He let out a little huff and smiled to himself. Then turned back to face the beach in front of him, and paused to think again.
“It will surely be painful to be near it all on the Discovery”, his mind went on, “but I’m not quite ready yet to let go of what we had there either”.
“Our only home together?” Hugh came back beside him.
“Our first home together”, Paul specified, “so far…"]
[ “Dear, I’m home”. He can just imagine himself standing there at the door of their cabin, staring into the empty, cold room that used to be. All the pleasant memories now tainted. How exactly will this be helping him to get over?
“But please, do remind me again”, Paul whispers to himself, and hears a heavy, sympathetic sigh in reply, as if preparing itself for telling him of all the ways he’s doing the right thing to move on, and how it’s proud of him for not giving up, and how it supports him, and all that fucking sentimental nonsense, it’s had to tell him already, over and over. And which yet Paul needs to hear. To keep faith. To not forget. ]
[ “Hmh”, Paul shrugs, taking in the thought, suddenly a slight twinkle in his eyes, “…but I have too much ‘unbridled passion’ you say?” he then yields, disregarding his persistent gravity, as he apprehensively turns his playful smirk at Hugh, readying himself for this blessed dream to end short.
But the man stays here. Startlingly, staring right back at Paul’s surprised gaze with almost haunting clarity. Paul’s grip on the newly corporeal man tightens in a moment of incredulity.
For the first time in weeks - but which feels like a year - Paul is able to see the man, to look into those loving eyes again, bathe in that radiant smile, and respond to all of the emotions he now thirstily reads from the man’s beautiful face. And fuck, if there aren’t tears on Paul’s own.
[ He could feel Hugh’s gaze on himself. “You realize, you actually wanted me gone today?”, he heard Hugh speak out gently, “I got in your way”.
Paul’s smile turned to an anguished frown. The tone of understanding in Hugh’s voice hurt him. “Never”, he attested firmly. He lay there as still as possible, staring at the ceiling, afraid to move too much, or turn to glance at his side, lest it chased away this sensation of Hugh beside him.
“You are being stubborn again, Mushroom”, Hugh whispered with a hint of worry in his voice, “why do you still cling on so desperately?”. He was so close Paul could almost feel the breath on him - or was that the sea breeze perhaps - “You said you’d be okay, if I left - why won’t you let me then?”]
Apologies, it’s been a while: I haven’t drawn Culmets for so long I’m starting to feel almost estranged. And that just won’t do! Not with the amount of unfinished business I have with these two.
This! My second ever Culmets illustration, from early 2018.
“I remember your arms around me. You made me feel safe. You always did.”
Though surprisingly well aged compared to many others (most of which were a mess to begin with), there were still some things off about this too, from the moment it got published, but which I wasn’t arsed to tinker with any more just then. Still not perfect (is anything ever?), but improved enough.
Quite sure this has never been published on instagram,either. But it is on DeviantArt. Also: always found this shirtlessness paradigm curiously reversed.
Rest of the Culmets et co. here.(Listing, which also rather feels in need of re-organizing / cleaning up).
Updating here and on DeviantArt, while my instagram profile is frustratingly being held captive by the current Disco crew project (can’t ruin the layout by posting in between the carefully choreographed order *sigh* Five more to go, I believe).
Though, I don’t think this particular scene was ever even posted on instagram… in cases like these you’d rather hope you could just discreetly drop works there (you know, to keep your gallery complete) without them instantly popping up on everyone’s someones’ feeds
Still one of my favorite instances of the necklace, ever; such character to it. Now of course with the addition of “the sexy scar”.
aka“Soft and Homely” - an unrelated comment, which my general portrayal of Culmets received on twitter whilst this one happened to be on the works. Couldn’t have been more spot on in that moment. Thank you.
Revisiting one of my personal favorites from 2018. Upon which this also only just became my first ever portrayal of the “sexy scar”, surprising as it is.
A long overdue portrait of the science officer portrayed by George Alevizos: taking the opportunity to snap a selfie with their unsuspecting fellow officers congregating in the background.
Continuing the slowly progressing effort to feature some of the less highlighted USS Discovery crew. Rest of the Disco works listed here. This work on instagram and on twitter. .
Was originally just gonna leave this in the Archive, add it discreetly to the Honey Mushroom list and be done with it… but then again, what fun would that have been.
Whom it may concern: there are couple new Honey Mushroom chapters, quite out of nowhere. Including my smuttiest smut, yet. So, be advised: mature content abound, quite a lot more sexually explicit than any of the previous ones. Exactly what it says in the description: a hard fuck.
And as I didn’t dare post this here unless I had something alternative to offer for those, who do not prefer reading porn, there’s also this another one, amorous as well, but where nothing lewd actually happens. Despite attempts *ha*
The image is for an older snippet “Losing Your Arms”. One of my personal favorites of the Culmets illustrations, in fact.
What else has been going on with me on Disco front? On twitter and on instagram I seem to have finally gotten a start - after numerous failed attempts - on those Discovery crew portraits/posters I’ve been babbling on about here for years in the past (well, not the exact same ones, but a series on the theme, anyway). About damn time. I’ll think about posting those here once the planned ones are complete, but the thread/account are linked above, for those interested to follow along.
I’ve also come to revisit some of the older Culmets works recently, and thought that could actually become another possible project to undertake gradually: to retouch the older works that have started to look too dated to my eye. The “Losing Your Arms” illustration for this post being one of those. .
Inspired by recent messages from people just discovering the Honey Mushroom series, I’ve finally gotten around to posting all the rest of the chapters to AO3, too. Like I’ve meant to do for years (I know… *urgh*).
Here they are:
Honey Mushroom(which includes the Months chapters) andBecalmed(the early and still surprisingly dear separate narrative)
I also felt the need/opportunity to dig out some of the chapters that were once left awaiting only finishing touches (or, you know, illustrations… but since that didn’t happen…) and just went ahead and posted those, too.
The two ‘new’ chapters added:
Last Call to Deneva Which actually starts this all off, chronologically. Satisfying to finally add another early chapter with Justin. Who was nowhere to be seen here in the comic pages (For f’s sake, I can’t believe I still have to go on about the same dang comic, after years!! Geez…).
Initiation M for sexy times. My gods, you have no idea how satisfying it was to finally finish this chapter! *ha* Talk about blue balls; I always felt like the absence of this left the subsequent car scene quite without it’s full awkward value. And yes, again with the damn comic (that’s what prompted all of these ‘Months’ after all); this one extending the scene of Hugh surprising Paul during the Discovery inspection tour.
Filled at least couple of the gaps. Which after so long a while feels very… you got it: satisfying (the word of the day). And keeps up a sparkle of hope, that the chapters left unfinished are still not quite a dead project yet, and that there might be spark for further inspirations still. There certainly are couple chapters left so well on their way, I’ve kept wishing I’d return to them some day (and have done so too in couple occasions; whipped the files out and added a word or two here and there, to keep them from getting completely buried under newer files).
But, goodness. I now realize how I’ve been missing this: just writing what ever the heck.
I’ve been seriously worried about some of my familiar depressed thoughts from years ago creeping back to me lately, and though immersing into the writing process itself is often nurturing this downer feeling and isolation from reality, the posting of the works, and knowing that people enjoy them is quite the opposite. As clearly is rambling on about them…
I’d really need to embrace this outlet again and the healing power of shit-posting.
Anyway! Thank you, all, indeed, for such encouraging messages. It’s been the definite highlight of the past couple of weeks to receive love for these two again. And truly uplifting and humbling to hear, that these narratives still continue to give people joy.
Stay safe, folk <3
(Oh, and thanks for the Bond love, too. Took me years to do anything about those two too, and it’s great to see they’ve gotten a tiny tour within the fandom lately as well <3)
