Summary: Dr. Austin helps the team understand how memories can be fabricated, and they decide what their next steps are in regards to Y/N. Pairing:Eventual Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count:3249 Warnings: Minor angst, medical stuff, a startling amount of exposition, discussions of sciencey magic stuff, Tony being Tony and trying to embarrass Steve and Bucky A/N:Thank you all for being so patient, I had this chapter like 75% done for a few weeks, but I needed something to break up the mountains of information. So when I got stuck, I used that to my advantage. You’ll see what I mean. lol You can also follow this story & others on my Ao3 as well. The series was beta’d by the lovely@idjitmonkey and I hope you enjoy!
Dr. Austin’s gaze slowly moved across the three men sitting in front of her, forcing her to lightly bite the inside of her cheek to avoid laughing at the varying expressions of dismay and confusion showing on their faces. Although the teacher part of her brain was screaming at her to explain, she waited patiently for them to process what she’d told them. Fortunately, and unsurprisingly, it was Tony who spoke first only a few minutes later.
“Not only do you have a psychic on speed dial that can read people’s minds, but you’re telling me Y/N’s memories are… fake? How is that even possible?”
“Is speed dial even a thing anymore?” Dr. Austin mumbled before shifting her eyes to Steve and Bucky who appeared to have finished processing and were now paying attention. “Charles Xavier is an extremely powerful mutant, and his psychic abilities allow him to locate and connect to the minds of every mutant in the world. It allows him to stop a problem before it even becomes one.”
“Really? So, what, he’s a mutant version of a Precog? Last time I checked, Minority Report didn’t end well for a lot of people.” Tony exhaled with a groan before running a hand down his face. “I’m… not a fan of mind control or mind reading.”
“I understand your, uhhh… less than amicable history with Wanda Maximoff may be causing your unease, but Charles is not motivated by anything malicious, nor does he assist the police with any kind of crime prevention involving humans; he only steps in when there’s mutants involved. The police stay out of his way because his abilities can help avoid preventable human casualties by a frightened mutant who has no idea what’s happening to their body.”
Tony rolled his eyes. “They all say that at first. It’s only a matter of time before they stick their nose where—”
Dr. Austin aggressively raised her hand and cut him off, much to Tony’s surprise, before she walked around to the other side of the conference room table to sit down. “It’s about safety, Mr. Stark, not snooping. A mutant’s abilities usually don’t manifest until they hit puberty, and most of these kids don’t have a support system to help them understand their gifts, or worse, they are feared and shunned by their own families. Charles uses his psychic connection to locate these kids and offer his assistance before something potentially catastrophic happens.”
Steve nodded and gave a half-shrug. “Preventative is always better than reactionary, but I’m not sure I agree with his methods.”
Dr. Austin blinked, before shaking her head with an incredulous snort of laughter. “Why not, Captain Rogers? The government uses non-intrusive methods like facial recognition and GPS tracking to locate people under the guise of preventing criminal activity all the time.”
Tony smirked and pointed to Steve. “She’s gotcha there, Cap.”
“The ethicality of casual mind reading aside,” Bucky murmured while rubbing his temples, “what do you mean her memories were fake? Are you sure it’s not just my memories that’ve gotten mixed with hers due to the link we had?”
“No. Charles was positive that the fading memories she’s retained from the ordeal are separate from the ones that were altered.” The doctor sighed a shaky breath, still distressed by what the professor told her. “Almost all of her memories from the time she was a child until she was in her late teens have been replaced or altered by another mutant or magic user. Based on the levels of residual power he found, some were barely changed at all while others had to be entirely new memories.”
Bucky slumped forward and pressed his forehead against the cool surface of the table. The pounding in his head felt similar to a distant yet unforgettable memory involving his first introduction to the chair Hydra used to scramble his brain. It was making him twitchy, unsettled… and even though he was barely showing any outward signs, he could practically feel the concern radiating off of Steve.
“Mutants… magic…” Bucky groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to control his breathing as a familiar hand landed on his metal shoulder to ground him. Bucky cursed his and Steve’s close friendship because of Steve’s annoying ability to see right through him hiding his anxiety. “My brain hurts.”
“Seconded. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but can you dumb it down for the less magically-educated of us, Doc?” Tony asked, rubbing his neck to try and relieve a brewing tension headache of his own.
While it wasn’t a topic Dr. Austin would consider herself an expert in by any means, Charles had used layman’s terms to explain things to her in the past when she was still new to the world of mutants, so she was fairly confident she could explain. “Alright, think of reading someone’s mind as essentially watching a video. Memories, when formed in the brain based on our experiences, play back clearer than those that have been fabricated or altered by an external source. So, the things you experience first-hand are… ‘recorded’, I guess, by your eyes and then immediately stored in your brain with zero loss of quality. Following so far?”
The three men nodded, but their pinched facial expressions still showed their confusion as she continued.
“Charles explained that when memories are altered by a psychic, they take a stored memory, edit it to overlay false events in specific parts, and then put it back where they found it. According to him, ‘edited’ memories are extremely noticeable when reading someone’s mind, like the difference in quality between an original image and one that has been photocopied a hundred times. The fabricated memories appear blurry because magic is used to create these false events, not your own eyes through first-hand experience. Y/N likely had difficulty distinguishing specific details, like faces or locations, when her brain accessed them for recollection.”
“You’re saying someone essentially hacked her brain and doctored over a decade’s worth of memories?” Steve asked, trying to wrap his head around the horrific implications of altering someone’s life like that. When Dr. Austin nodded, he took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly out of his nose as he brought his hands up to rest on his hips. “Wow.”
“Not to pile on, but he also said that the original memories were completely obliterated by whatever process was used to rewrite or alter them, so unfortunately there’s nothing left for Charles to restore.” All three men blinked at her, and Dr. Austin frowned. “It was done on purpose; memory manipulation usually only involves altered segments of memory being laid over the actual memory in order to hide what actually happened, so those changes can be taken away and reversed at any time since the original memory is merely concealed by another.”
Dr. Austin was sure she could see steam coming from Tony’s head, so she tried to word it in a language he was familiar with. “Think of a memory as a computer file. When memory manipulation is done normally, there is only surface-level tampering of the memory file to conceal what is actually there, which allows for the integrity of the file itself to be maintained despite any changes that are made. In Y/N’s case, the original file was essentially deleted and the fabricated one was implanted in its place. It wasn’t edited and concealed, it was deleted and replaced.”
Tony immediately understood the analogy and he clenched his jaw as he nodded. “They didn’t want anyone to be able to restore or view her original memories. What were they trying to hide?”
“She probably did or saw something she wasn’t supposed to, but she was deemed too useful to kill,” Bucky stated factually, his voice chilling and void of emotion.
“The ‘why’ isn’t something we have the ability to figure out right now, but Charles did say that the ‘who’ might be easier to…” Dr. Austin trailed off, her eyes focused on Bucky and the tension coiled in his muscles as he rocked his head back and forth on the table, his forehead still pressed to the wood. “Are you okay, Sergeant Barnes?”
“M’fine,” he waved her off with a lethargic wiggle of his metal hand, “just had a lot of… unpleasant stuff float to the surface after what happened with Y/N.”
“Oh, I…” Dr. Austin’s eyes darted to Steve, who gave a minute shake of his head to silently tell her not to press. Reluctantly, she nodded and ignored the innate desire to help and heal that every doctor has. “Well, Charles did say that the level of complexity mixed with the sheer amount of memory replacement and manipulation done requires a much higher level of skill than a normal psychic.”
“Narrows down our pool of people, does it?” Tony asked, already poking at the hologram of a database search screen being projected from the Iron Man gauntlet still on his arm.
“Considerably, yes.” Dr. Austin attentively watched Tony’s fingers dance across the hologram as he swiped from screen to screen. “Charles wasn’t able to locate any unfamiliar mutants that have enough power to do this kind of memory manipulation, but there are ways people have hidden from him in the past to avoid detection. He’s going to reach out to some of his acquaintances, those mutants or magic users with psychic abilities, to see if anyone’s heard of a psychic for hire that could pull this off.”
“It seems like every time we answer a question, three more appear in its place,” Tony mused before he snorted, a smirk curling the side of his lip. “It’s like a Q&A version of that stupid Hydra saying.”
Steve turned to glare at a still grinning Tony, before shifting his attention to the doctor. “While we’re waiting for an update from Mr. Xavier—”
“Professor,” Dr. Austin corrected, smiling shyly.
“Right, so while we’re waiting for Professor Xavier to get back to us, we do have a question in front of us we can answer right now. What do we tell Y/N?” Steve leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms with a shrug. “I mean, she’s back to being herself again, which is great, but being told that the memories you have from ten plus years of your life are essentially fake on top of the mental strain caused by that psychic link? It doesn’t seem like a smart idea.”
“As the only person here who’s actually had their memories fucked with,” Bucky grumbled, his breath fogging up the glossy surface of the table as he spoke, “you should tell her as soon as possible. She’ll be upset, but we need her participation if we want to figure out what the hell is going on. Having it explained by someone who wants to help you remember will make it a lot easier to process than rediscovering your identity and the missing chunks of your life on your own.”
Steve frowned and shifted forward to perch on the edge of his chair. “Buck—”
“I know, punk,” Bucky interrupted, ceasing his friend’s impending guilt spiral as he turned his head to lock eyes with Steve. “I was the one who ran. I thought I was better off alone.”
Steve smiled sadly and reached out to grip Bucky’s flesh shoulder. “Not alone anymore, jerk.”
“Huh,” Tony remarked from his seat at the end of the conference room table, his eyes wide and locked on Steve and Bucky. “Wow, yeah, I definitely see it now.”
Steve raised an eyebrow and turned to face Tony, a move which Bucky mirrored. “See what?”
“The heart eyes you give each other,” Tony explained, his mouth quivering with the effort of holding back his smile and laughter. “The internet? They call you two ‘Stucky’, by the way.”
Bucky’s head shot up from the table, the quick movement making Tony flinch, but his knowing grin quickly vanished when the throbbing in his skull returned with a vengeance. Playing dumb, he cleared his throat and glanced over at Tony. “Stucky?”
“Like, stuck as in we’re somehow stuck to each other? Or do they mean stuck with each other?” Steve asked, feigning innocence as well.
Tony flashed a mischievous grin that Loki himself would be proud of. “Well, the two of you actually have quite the following online, and there are some very talented people who like to…”
Tony’s voice became a low hum in the background as Bucky tuned him out, and he traded a look with Steve which told him his friend did as well. Thanks to a full briefing about the more… fan-driven parts of the internet after Bucky’s rescue, recovery, and placement on the team were made public, both super soldiers were well aware of the moniker given to them by those who saw their relationship as romantic instead of platonic. Natasha fully enjoyed explaining every little thing about Stucky and showing them every aspect of fan-created content sounding it—some of which she’d even called her “go-to pics” of them together—until both men were as red as her hair.
After the initial shock wore off, they both agreed that it was amusing and flattering, not at all insulting, and despite Steve’s protests, it even led to Bucky buying some fanart that he proudly has hanging in his room at the compound. Sure, the art might be a painting of Steve laying on his back, completely naked, with a detached version of Bucky’s old silver Winter Soldier arm the only thing covering his junk, but the look on Steve’s face every time he walks into Bucky’s room and sees it makes him laugh every time.
“…lovers, you know?” Bucky sighed as he focused on Tony’s rambling again, giving Dr. Austin an apologetic smile that the exacerbated doctor shrugged off with an eye roll. “Reunited after being separated for seventy years, only to find out that your best friend is trying to kill you because he had his memory erased by the enemy?” Tony clicked his tongue and swiped his hand to close the dozens of fan art images Bucky hadn’t realized were displayed on the hologram. “That is a Grade A, USDA Approved, one-hundred percent Beefy,” Tony pointedly stared at both men’s arms, “example of the ‘reunited lovers’ trope.”
“Seems like you’ve done a lot of research into this, Tony,” Steve commented, his face completely stoic even though Bucky could hear the fluttering of amused excitement in his heartbeat. “Is… there something you want to tell us? I mean, you know, since we’re already on the topic of sharing things with other people.”
“Do I… what? No, I don’t… s-share? What would I share about anything?” Tony sputtered, leaning back in his chair as a dark crimson hue spread across his cheeks.
Bucky hid his smile behind his hair as he turned and stood from his chair to stalk forward and press himself firmly against Steve’s back. Steve stiffened at the contact at first, but two light taps of Bucky’s finger on the back of Steve’s neck was all the communication he needed to tell Steve to play along. Once Steve relaxed, Bucky wrapped his flesh arm around Steve’s chest and nuzzled his face into the man’s neck.
“F-FRIDAY,” Tony whispered as he slowly patted his shirt and pants, his jaw dropping in shock so far it appeared to be almost unhinged; a rare thing to see on the billionaire’s face. “I… photos, where… I need my phone. The internet… is someone documenting this?” Tony’s attention snapped to Dr. Austin. “Are there cameras in this room?”
The stern look Dr. Austin gave Tony in response was enough of an answer. Her stare was full of so much frustrated maternal disappointment, Tony’s eyes widened and he swallowed, waving his hand to vanish the hologram as he slunk down in his chair. The doctor’s eyes shifted to the two super soldiers with a look so hard it felt like it could have come straight from one of the toughest women either man had ever known: Sarah Rogers. Steve and Bucky felt thoroughly chastised and released each other to return to their seats like scolded children.
“After all of the battles you’ve fought side by side, I understand that you gentlemen have the camaraderie of soldiers and enjoy teasing each other,” she began, her voice terrifyingly even, “but there are more pressing matters at hand.”
Since Tony was still frozen in stunned silence at the complete one-eighty in Dr. Austin, Steve cleared his throat and gave her an embarrassed smile. “I apologize Dr. Austin, that was… inappropriate humor.”
Dr. Austin smirked. “It wasn’t inappropriate, Captain; believe me, I do enjoy watching Tony Stark squirm. But now is just… not the time.”
Bucky’s lip twitched and he hung his head, nodding. “Right, well, I still think we need to tell her as soon as possible. We all know how well hiding things from each other has gone in the past, so I’d rather have Y/N associate us with honesty over white lies, even if what we tell her might be shocking to hear.”
“While personally I am inclined to agree, I do know how to read blood work and brain scans despite my inexperience with psychiatry,” Dr. Austin commented. “She needs time to regain her strength, both physical and mental, before we broach the subject.”
Bucky’s jaw clenched, showing his obvious disapproval, but it was Steve that spoke before he could. “I agree.” Bucky’s head snapped up to glare at Steve, who raised his hands. “I don’t like it either, Buck, but think about it like this. She’s been stuck inside someone else’s life—someone else’s memories—for days. Telling her that the actual life she thought she had growing up was also fake while she’s still recovering from the psychic link… it could end up doing more harm than good.”
Bucky’s pained and pleading eyes flicked to Dr. Austin, and she smiled sympathetically. “I understand this is not what you want based on your own similar personal experiences, but I am very concerned that the additional stress could end up causing a psychotic break if she begins to question the validity of the world around her. The stress hormones in her blood are still extremely elevated, and we don’t know if there will be any side effects from the use of her abilities.”
Bucky blinked in disbelief. The thought of possibly causing a psychotic break hadn’t even crossed his mind. It took the serum almost six months to heal the neural pathways that Hydra tried to fry away in his brain, yet he was still plagued by gaps in both his long term and short term memory. But Y/N… she was only human and the mind was deceptively fragile when it came to trauma.
“Fine, but the second she’s able…” Bucky trailed off, his silent request hanging in the air.
Dr. Austin nodded. “We’ll tell her, I promise. I believe you are correct, though, Y/N just may be the key to figuring out what happened during her childhood.”
“Great! What do you guys have for snacks around here?”
Tony’s random sudden interjection made Dr. Austin startle slightly, but Steve and Bucky only rolled their eyes as they followed Tony’s lead and got up from the conference room table to find some food.
None of them felt the golden gaze of Asgard’s guardian on them as he silently watched the developing situation.
Five years ago, Maura walked away from Hydra for good. She never imagined that, after everything, the Avengers would welcome her back as one of their own. But here she was.
She worked hard to rebuild a friendship with everyone on the team. She enjoyed spending time with Nat and Wanda when they were off duty, thanks to their shared histories with Hydra; she had even grown fond of Steve and Sam. The two had taken her under their wings like an older brother would a younger sister, despite her being a few years older than Sam. Her work in the lab provided plenty of opportunities to spend time with Tony and Bruce, too.
Maura’s relationship with Morgan grew as well. She watched her niece grow from a small girl into a teenager. They shared a lot of the same interests, both having similar personalities. It was easy for them to talk for hours, and sometimes they didn’t need words at all. When they needed it most, they could just hear each other speak.
Nothing could have prepared her, though, for the relationship she formed with James Barnes. Their connection was more profound than any she shared with the others. He was the only one who truly understood what she had gone through. As the weeks, months, even years went on, she and James grew closer each day.
Their relationship eventually took on an intimate nature, something Maura had not experienced before with anyone else. Sure, she had flings in the past, but they were never like this. There was never love involved, no romance, no feelings of passion, attraction, or anything. With Bucky, however, Maura found all those feelings and more. For the first time in her life, she felt safe. She felt loved. She felt wanted.
Sitting on the couch, the main room of the penthouse of the Avenger’s Tower aglow from the holiday decorations, surrounded by friends and family, Maura knew there was no place she’d rather be. Everything in her life, she now knew, had happened for a reason. It had happened to lead her to who she had become and to where she was now. To a place where she finally felt whole, complete, and free. Where she finally felt content.
Resting a hand on her growing belly, Maura looked around at everyone as they opened gifts, laughing and having fun together. This is where she belonged. This is where she is supposed to be. And she couldn’t be happier.
Maura sat at the conference table with Clint, Steve, Natasha, and Bucky. Tony stood at the head of the table in front of a large screen. The image shown was one Maura knew well.
“This is our next mission,” Tony stated. “Hydra seems to have acquired some information and is trying to replicate my technology.”
“What do we know about the location?” Nat asked.
“From what we can tell, it should be a fairly easy job. There are a few scientists and only about four guards protecting the entire location. Now, that doesn’t -”
“Your intel is wrong,” Maura cut in.
Tony looked over at her. “What?”
“Your intel is wrong,” she repeated.
“How do you know?” Steve questioned her.
“Because… I spent a fair share of my time there.” She glanced down for a moment, then up again. “I know the place inside and out. There are about half a dozen scientists at any given time, usually all working on the same project, but not always. The main lab alone has at least two guards. The small lab on the west side will typically only have one guard when it’s actually in use. You’ll find another dozen agents spread around the grounds and watching the main gate.” Maura looked around the table, meeting each of their gazes before continuing. “It’s not the most heavily guarded facility on Hydra’s roster, but it’s not as empty as your intel would lead you to believe.”
“I don’t understand. Why would our information be so far off?” Steve questioned.
“Well, whether you like this news or not, you have several Hydra agents working within S.H.I.E.L.D.. Some of which work rather closely with your team on occasion,” Maura shrugged. “It wouldn’t surprise me if one of them was the one putting the information together for this little mission and was trying to send you into an ambush.”
“What do you suggest then?” Tony asked, taking a seat at the table.
Maura took a deep breath, not wanting to screw up this chance her brother was giving her. “I’d say you’re better off being safe than sorry. Take more team members than you think you might need. Or at least take the right ones.”
“Who do you suggest then?” Natasha pressed.
“Honest opinion?” Maura asked, watching as each person at the table nodded for her to continue. “If you want to use the smallest number of teammates, I’d send Barnes in to start. With his marksmanship skills, he can easily take out most of the guards on the outside. However, it couldn’t hurt to have Romanoff as a backup. She could take out a couple of them close up while Barnes picks off the rest from a distance. As for the two at the door, if Barnes is positioned right, he could take care of them too. Otherwise, they should be easy enough for anyone to take care of, really.”
Maura sat back in her chair, secretly enjoying having them all pay such close attention to what she had to say. “Once inside, Steve, Tony, and Nat should have no problem taking out the remaining agents.”
“What about the scientists?” Tony questioned.
“They shouldn’t give you too much trouble. Most of them don’t like confrontation. But if you want security, I can tag along and keep them contained while the rest of you do what you need to do.” Maura offered.
“Are you sure, though?” Steve asked cautiously.
“Yeah,” Bucky agreed. “It still sounds pretty risky.”
“Maura,” Tony stood from his chair, “I’m taking your lead on this. If anything goes wrong, I trust you to fix it.” The room grew silent, everyone looking between the two and waiting for a response. A nod was all Tony needed. “Good,” he turned to walk away. “Everyone suit up,” he called over his shoulder as the door closed behind him.
Natasha, Clint, and Bucky made quick work of the Hydra agents patrolling the base’s perimeter. There were far more than just the four guards they had been led to believe would be there. So far, Maura was right in what she told them.
Maura proved to be helpful getting into the building as well. It seems they hadn’t removed her from their systems, so she was able to get the doors open with a simple hand scan. Once inside, she led Tony and Steve to the central lab, where Steve quickly subdued the two guards at the door. As they entered the room, the scientists looked up in surprise. Before any could say anything, however, Maura gave them all a stern look. “Leave,” she demanded.
Tony and Steve watched as the six men scurried out of the lab, leaving the trio alone, save for one other person. Someone Maura had not expected to see at the facility.
“Scientists are making their way out. You three contain them. We’ve got company to deal with in here,” Tony spoke through the comms to the team outside.
“Ah, Raven. So nice of you to join us,” the lone Hydra agent smiled at her.
“Malick,” Maura replied coldly. “What are you doing here?”
“I have been overseeing this project personally, as you well know. And unfortunately, after your little escape, you left me in a rather tight predicament. I could no longer send you here to work on things and bring me updates, so I had to start coming by myself. Lucky me, I just happened to be here on the day you decided to visit as well.” He smirked.
“Who is he?” Steve asked quietly, stepping up to Maura’s right side.
“He was, essentially, my boss. The Malick family ties run deep in Hydra. There always seems to be one lurking around,” she explained.
“Is he going to try anything?” Tony asked quietly, also keeping his voice down.
“No,” Maura shook her head. “And he won’t make any moves against me.” She looked at Malick. “So, what’s the real reason you are here, Malick? You didn’t come here just to check on the project.”
“Not entirely true,” Malick said. “You see, Raven, this project was far more than just a suit. I had received some interesting reports regarding your whereabouts, and I knew you wouldn’t miss the opportunity to return here when given the chance.”
Maura stared daggers at Malick. “You’re right. I didn’t miss my chance to destroy the place that made me.” She took a few steps toward the center of the room where the man stood, “And I don’t have time for your games. I know you’re trying to stall, and it won’t work.” Maura lifted her left hand, and a purple glow sparked around her fingertips. “Steve, stand behind me and put your shield up,” she instructed. Once he was in place, Maura stepped in a small circle where she stood. In seconds, a giant blast of purple energy shot out in a wave around the entire room. The computers shut down as smoke rose from the back of each monitor, and Malick found himself thrown back against the wall.
Lifting her right hand, her palm facing her former boss, a blue ball of smoke encompassed the man and lifted him off the floor. “I think you forget just how strong Hydra made me, Malick,” she growled, “I am always going to be miles ahead of your games. But I do love a challenge, sir,” she mocked him.
“You know if you kill me, there will be more to take my place, Raven,” Malick tried to reason.
“I am well aware of how Hydra works,” she lowered the man back to the floor. Closing her hand into a fist, the cloud around him disappeared, “That’s why I’m not going to kill you. But take this as a warning, Malick.” Maura looked to her left and right as Steve and Tony stepped up next to her, “If you come for my family again, it will end bloody.”
Summary:Harper Lee “Harley” Barton had always been the hunter, but when the tables are turned on her, Harper must put aside her natural instinct of protecting her family through distance by coming out of the shadows and admitting the truth. Will she survive the challenges that lie ahead of her? Or will she fall prey to her own darkness once more?
Maura looked at her reflection in the mirror. She hadn’t even been back a year yet, but each time she donned her Hydra uniform on, she felt a greater sense of discomfort than she had the time before. Hydra had been her home; she had worn the symbol proudly for so many years. She had been happy to do her part, fulfilling her duty to an organization that, in her mind, saved her life.
But now? Knowing what she now knew about her family, about S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra, she saw no reason at all to wear the symbol, nor to serve Hydra any longer. Maura had hoped that the feeling would fade the longer she spent back in the black, but it had grown stronger by the day. She now knew that to some extent, for better or worse, both Hydra and the Avengers had raised her. How could she help her friends if she failed to do what she felt was right?
She thought of her entry into Hydra after she was left in that hospice, alone, without any family to keep her grounded. They had taken her in, given her work and a sense of purpose. She had been a special ops agent, trained to a level only the best were allowed to reach. Intensive study under the likes of the Winter Soldier himself. She even taught young agents the ropes and how to be good spies. But that was all behind her now.
Maura patted her uniform, feeling the outline of the emblem on her waist and a small hidden knife she kept in the right side of her belt. Something about it all felt - wrong. She knew what she had to do.
Changing into regular clothing, she quickly packed a small duffel. Maura didn’t have much, she didn’t need much, but she knew she’d have to leave most of her treasured weapons behind if she was going to be able to take the essential things. So, she placed her daggers, small knife, and a couple of small guns, along with whatever clothing she could stuff inside the bag. Maura checked her desk drawers and grabbed her copy of the flash drive she had made from Tony’s computer. She opened the long center drawer and took out the only item inside; it was a small, five-by-eight-inch piece of paper with a drawing. Maura folded it in half and tucked it into the outer pocket of her bag.
Quickly making her way to the parking garage, Maura did her best to remain unnoticed. Maura hopped inside once she found her car, set her bag on the passenger seat, and turned the car on. She sat for a few minutes in silence, just listening to the engine, while she thought about what she was doing. This is for the best. This is the right choice. Maura backed the vehicle from its spot, threw it in drive, and drove away from the home she had known for so long.
After several hours of driving, Maura finally arrived back at the Tower. Getting out of her car and heading towards the main entrance, she could hear a few guards talking to each other as if she was not there. Hearing their warm tones, in contrast to the cold, odd ones many of her Hydra brothers and sisters spoke, made her feel welcome, even if they weren’t talking to her. With some smooth talking with the guard at the elevator, she made her way up to the top, where she knew the team would be.
Hearing the ding of the elevator, each of the Avengers stopped what they were doing and turned to see who had arrived. When Maura stepped out of the elevator, she put her hand up just in time to stop a knife that was soaring toward her neck, courtesy of Wanda. “I deserve that,” Maura muttered as she grabbed the knife out of the air.
“We have nothing to say to you, Maura. Just go.” Tony was cold, distant. He turned his back to his sister and walked toward the doors for the balcony. It may have been a front, but he had been hurt.
“There is a lot I need to explain,” she tried to reason. “To all of you.” Tony kept walking away and ignored her, having given up on her when she betrayed the team for Hydra.
“Tony, please - ?” Maura pushed, but he wasn’t giving up easily. “Damn it, Stark! Set the fucking attitude aside. Just hear me out.” At the last word, Tony turned to face her. “I’m not going to hurt you. I would never have come to see you if I had wanted to do that.”
He stopped just inches from the door but kept his guard, still trying to decide if he wanted to give her a chance.
“Tony, please. Just listen to me.” She knew her brother was upset, and he had every right to be. “I swear, I-”
“Don’t,” Tony cut her off. “You betrayed the team. You betrayed S.H.I.E.L.D. You played both sides, wove some bullshit tale, and destroyed what hope we had.” He had a point, she thought.
“Yes. I did,” she agreed. “And I’m sorry. But -”
“I don’t believe you!” He yelled, cutting her off again.
“Why? Why can’t you -” Maura tried.
“Because you’re a liar!” Tony yelled again, letting his emotions get the better of him. “You are the worst kind of liar because your lies sound so much like the truth I can’t tell the difference.”
“Why don’t we just hear her out, huh?” Natasha stepped up.
“You’re right,” Maura sat on an empty chair, slumping forward. The team never took their eyes off of her. “I am a liar, alright. I’m the black sheep, you know? The defective twin that nobody wanted.” She looked up at her brother, tears brimming her eyes, “It must feel real nice for you to stand here judging me. Surrounded by all the things that you got out of life while I spent decades as the family reject, not to mention the ten years I spent in isolation before Hydra took me.” Maura’s eyes turned cold and dark as she let out a low growl while continuing, “Well, let me tell you, every inch of me wants to kill you for that. Every part!” Her eyes began to glow a deep blue color as her anger stirred.
A small voice came from behind them, “Maura? Wh-what’s happening?”
Maura glanced over, seeing her beautiful niece standing by the island in the kitchen. The glow in her eyes faded, and her anger melted away, “But I can’t,” she finished softly.
“I mean, that’s a good thing, right?” Sam chimed in.
“Because I made a promise to someone special. Someone who never looked at me as anything more, or less, than a person she could look up to.”
“That’s right, daddy. Maura pinky promised!” Morgan exclaimed as she ran to Tony.
“You can’t break a pinky promise,” Maura’s voice was almost a whisper, the tears threatening her eyes once again. The team stood and watched, trying to see what the next move would be from either side. “Look, I left Hydra, and as soon as they realize that, I’m going to be in real danger. The only way that I am going to be able to survive is if you help me.” She says, looking up at her brother, almost pleading, “And, personally, I’d like to live. Because I didn’t get to do a whole lot of it before everyone else decided I wasn’t worth it.”
There was a long pause. Tony looked between Morgan and the team. “You’re right,” Tony finally spoke up again. “You didn’t get to do much of it before, being all alone with no one around. But that doesn’t excuse what you did to the team and to me. You lied to us. All of us,” he continued. “I won’t -”
“Please,” Maura begged. “Tony, I’m begging you. It’s just Hydra,” she breathed in, trying to keep herself together while she explained herself. “Hydra, they had such -”
“I don’t want to hear it!” He snapped.
“Fine!” She yelled, rising to her feet, balling her hands into fists at her sides. “I understand you feel pain and betrayal. I feel the same. I was naive. I fully admit that, but Hydra was the only family I knew. Then, I found you. My brother, my blood - I trusted you, I trusted the Avengers. I wanted -”
“So what then?” Tony cut her off, his voice rising. “You come back here, knowing they will follow, putting all of us in danger, for what?”
“Because,” she continued, looking at him, “I’m… I’m sorry. Okay? I knew, even if you - all of you - couldn’t forgive me, I at least needed to say it to you all before disappearing.”
Morgan left the comfort of her father’s grasp and walked to her aunt. Reaching out, she took Maura’s hands and repeated the words she had shared months before, “Good isn’t a thing you are.”
Maura couldn’t help but feel the corners of her lips curl into the smallest of smiles, crouching down to be level with Morgan as she recited the words with her niece, “It’s the things you do and the choices you make.”
There was another long pause. The team looked between each other and at the duo in front of them. Tony continued to glare at his sister until she looked in his direction and his eyes finally locked onto hers. “Maura…I don’t know what to say.”
“Then say nothing,” Maura pleaded as she stood again. “Just please, don’t send me out that door.”
“Tony…” Natasha spoke up, her voice soft, “Barton and Fury gave me a chance when I sure as hell didn’t deserve one. We should give her a second chance. Besides, don’t we owe it to her?”
Tony sighed, letting out a long breath, and ran one hand over his face, “I guess we do.”
“Thank you,” Maura smiled.
“But,” Tony continued, pointing at her, “That doesn’t mean we’re going to just let you walk back in here and rejoin the team like nothing happened. You betrayed us during a mission; we can’t just let that slide.”
“I know, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to earn your trust again. Start over at square one and work to be someone you can all count on.”
“I’m willing to work with her, Tony. I can’t speak for everyone else, but I’m willing to take her with me and take responsibility until she can get back in everyone’s good graces.” Natasha announced, “I’ve been there, Maura.”
“Fury?” Clint spoke up. “You’re the final say in all this.” Everyone turned to where he was looking, not realizing the director had arrived at the Tower.
Nick walked up to Tony. “What’s going on here?”
“Maura,” Tony started, “Wants to start over. She wants a second chance.”
“Is she telling you everything?” Fury pressed.
Tony looked at her, a silent look of confusion on his face. “It seems so anyway.”
“Is there anything else you’re not telling us, Maura?” Fury asked, ignoring the confusion from both of them.
“I swear to you, Nick. I am sorry for everything I caused. I’m done being Hydra’s pawn. I want my family back - my real family.” She looked around at the faces staring back at her.
Fury looked over to Tony, who shrugged. Turning to look back at Maura, Nick thought about what to say next. “We can’t trust you yet,“ he said coldly. "You’ll still need to prove yourself before we can allow you back into our ranks.”
Maura nodded silently, tears starting to build in her eyes again. She understood his reasoning and was glad he was at least giving her a chance.
As Fury turned to leave, Maura spoke up once more, “I have one last request, though, sir,” her voice shaking slightly. He stopped at the edge of the room and glanced back at Maura. With a deep breath, she continued, “I need a different name.“
"And why is that?” he questioned.
“I want some distance from my past. From Hydra. Some distance from the roles that I have been filling my whole life. I don’t want to be the Raven anymore; that was someone they created. I want… no, I need to be someone new. Someone that Hydra hasn’t had a hand in.”
“I’m sure we can come up with something,” Fury offered, understanding her need to recreate herself.
It had only been a couple of weeks since Maura left. Tony was taking it harder than the others. He’d tried to keep up his act of normalcy, but he wasn’t fooling anyone. Every time he thought about the events that went down, he questioned what he missed.
How could she do something like this? We were family. We are family. We’re blood. I welcome her into my home and onto the team, and this is how she repays me?
“Tony?” Pepper called from the door.
“Yeah?”
“Are-are you okay?” she stepped into the lab, walking toward where he sat slumped over at a table.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he looked up from his hands, locking eyes with his wife.
“I just…” she sighed softly, taking in his disheveled appearance. “You know you can’t blame yourself, right?”
“Then who do I blame, Pepper? Huh? Who? Tell me!” he snapped. He had been trying to keep it together all week, not wanting to show how upset he was. If she hadn’t come in here, then maybe he would’ve kept his emotions at bay until he calmed down.
“I don’t know, Tony. Your parents? Hydra? Regardless, it isn’t your fault.” She reached out, laying a hand on his shoulder.
He leaned into her touch. It felt good to have someone there, someone that cared enough to try and understand him. “Maybe before, I could have blamed them all. But she was here, Pepper. She spent two years in our home. I trusted her. I let her into the family; I let her onto the team… I let her meet our daughter. I did all that, no one else.” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair, letting go of his anger.
“You’re right. You did. But Maura made a choice to betray that trust. Nothing you did or didn’t do could have stopped that.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a comforting squeeze before leaning forward, planting a kiss on his temple.
“It’s been months, and we’ve done nothing to try to save her,” Tony argued with the others, all sitting around the large conference table. “I have to do something. I can’t just leave my sister with them.”
“We can’t risk it, Tony, you know that,” Steve tried to reason.
“And why not?” he questioned. “You risked everything multiple times for Barnes,” Tony countered. “This is my sister we’re talking about here.”
“It’s different, Tony, and you know it.”
“Steve’s right, Tony,” Bruce added, “Maura made a choice herself to go back to Hydra. No one forced her to leave.”
“We all know how Hydra is. They brainwashed her for years! She -”
“Tony!” Natasha interrupted, her voice loud and commanding as she stared at him, “Maura was here for two years. She made the conscious choice to go back.”
“What if she didn’t, though? What if they sent her here? What if everything she told us at the start was a lie?”
“Then that’s on us. We opened ourselves up to that infiltration. But the bottom line in all of this is that Maura betrayed us, Tony. She lied, she manipulated, she took advantage of us. That’s on her,” Natasha said firmly. “Look, I get it. But she’s been gone for four months. You need to come to terms with the truth, Stark. I’m sorry.”
Maura had been gone for six months already. Morgan had slowed in her asking about her aunt, which meant she was doing much better. Tony had tried to make peace with Maura’s betrayal, but every time he thought about it, he felt angry again. It didn’t help that every time he saw Morgan, he couldn’t help but feel guilty, too. Maura’s betrayal of the team and of Tony was one thing. But for her to betray her niece? It was something else entirely. Tony could tell Morgan still missed her aunt, even if she didn’t fully understand what was going on.
“Daddy?” Tony heard Morgan’s soft voice, breaking his train of thought.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
She walked into his office. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” he answered as he lifted her into his lap.
“Is Aunt Maura a bad guy again?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know how to answer that, kiddo. I don’t know what your aunt is doing or planning,” Tony said.
“Do you think she will ever come back?” Morgan asked innocently.
“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Tony responded truthfully.
“Daddy, if she does come back, you won’t hurt her, will you?” Morgan looked up at him with big brown eyes full of fear.
“No, no, sweetie,” he tried to assure her, though even he didn’t know what would happen if Maura ever showed up at the Tower again.
“Good,” Morgan nodded solemnly, settling into Tony’s arms.
“No matter what happens,” Tony began, causing Morgan to look up at him, “You still have all of us here.”
“I know, daddy,” Morgan smiled weakly, “I just miss Maura.”
“I know, kiddo,” Tony pulled his little girl closer and kissed the top of her head, “Hey, why don’t we ask Nat and Wanda to take you to the park or something? Huh? Get you out of the Tower for a bit and have some fun?”
Morgan nodded eagerly and hugged her father tighter. The pair walked out of the office and went to find the two women. Tony gave Natasha a credit card to use and told her they could take Morgan anywhere she wanted to go.
Maura sat in the conference room of Hydra’s current headquarters, with three members of her command. It had been quite a while since she had sat around a Hydra table, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that something didn’t feel right about it any longer.
They discussed her time with S.H.I.E.L.D. and with the Avengers. She gave them all the information she had about the team, what their next targets were, as well as giving them all the details she managed to gather about Tony’s latest project. She set a flash drive on the table, “This is everything I was able to extract from his system about the suit. He hasn’t perfected it yet, but he’s getting close.”
Malick nodded his head once. “Very well then, I believe we are done here. Raven, you may go.”
Raven stood quickly and began heading for the door. After the door closed behind her, the room fell silent for a minute before Sergeant Batrel spoke. “Are we sure that we can trust her to take down her own brother?”
“Only time will tell. Even if Raven does betray us, it won’t really matter any longer. We have what we need,” Saltz assured the others.
It had only been a couple of weeks since she had returned to Hydra. Maura sat in her room in silence, like she had done any time she was free. Though she wasn’t being sent out on any jobs yet, she still assisted in the lab when they needed her. Maura looked at the flash drive sitting on her dresser, having made a duplicate before giving one to her superiors. She had already memorized every detail on there, but still, she could not help but feel uneasy. What did Hydra want with the suit? What purpose would they use it for, and why would they attempt it now? Even Tony hadn’t perfected it yet. There was no telling what could happen or the consequences if it failed. A knock on her door startled her.
“Raven,” she heard called from the other side.
“Yes?”
Her door clicked open, and Malick stepped inside. “Sorry if I’m disturbing your evening. But I need to speak with you in private for a moment.”
Maura nodded and got up from where she’d been sitting on her bed. “Of course, sir. What’s going on?” She asked, following Malick out of her room.
“There has been some… development concerning the current project,” Malick said as they made their way to his office.
“Is something wrong with the suit, sir?”
“The suit is working just as we had hoped, and the project is progressing smoothly. However,” Malick paused and opened the door to his office for her to step inside, then followed after her. They both took seats at his desk, and he continued his thought. “The suit won’t be ready before your next mission, and I need to know you will be able to do your job, Raven.”
Maura looked up at him, “What do you mean by that, sir? You don’t think I can handle myself in combat?”
“I know you can handle yourself. But we are trying to dismantle a team that you have spent the last two years getting rather close with. I am worried you won’t be able to separate yourself. Not to mention that we don’t know how they will react when they see you again.”
“Sir-”
Malick held up his hand, silencing her. “It isn’t a matter of not being able to put those feelings aside. It is a question of whether or not you want to. If you aren’t ready, Raven, you aren’t ready.” He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest.
“I understand the concern, sir. But I can do this.” Maura tried to convince him as much as she wanted to convince herself.
“Very well. Your next assignment is in two days, and I expect you to be ready for it. Understood?”
She nodded, “Understood, sir.”
“Good.” Malick turned back to his work, “You’re dismissed.” She nodded and left Malick’s office.
Maura had been back with Hydra for six short months, but it seemed like she had never left. She was back to doing missions, working in the lab, and training some recruits.
Malick was cautious. He still wasn’t sure she was ready for the larger tasks, so he only sent her on small missions. She was taking out low-level S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, infiltrating locations, and recon missions. But never on anything that involved members of the Avengers specifically.
Though Maura kept busy with her tasks, she couldn’t help but wonder what her family was doing. What her brother was working on, what Morgan was learning in school, what Banner was doing in the lab, or what mindless training everyone was going through. A part of her missed reading stories to her niece at bedtime, going for runs in the morning with Sam, teaming with Tony to take down their enemies.
A knock on her door drew her from her thoughts and brought her back to reality. Looking around her room, trying to remember what she had been doing before her mind had carelessly wandered elsewhere. “Yes?” she called out.
“We’re ready to go, Raven,” a deep voice responded.
“I’ll be there shortly,” she replied.
Maura stood from her chair at her small desk and walked to her closet. She grabbed a couple of daggers that hung on the wall and placed them in their proper places on her uniform. Reaching for the small pistol, she placed it into its holster on her thigh. Though she hated using the gun, she still brought one on each mission. Then she finished putting on her boots, picked up her mask off the desk, and walked out of the room.
Maura knew, though, that she couldn’t continue to dwell in the past. She knew that she couldn’t continue to care about the Avengers, nor her family back at the Tower. Maura was back with her rightful family. The family that didn’t abandon her, that took care of her when she had nothing. Maura was home… and she was more determined than ever to prove herself to Hydra. Or so she hoped.
Series Summary:She was done and retired. After Thanos and after the battle of a lifetime, she had called it quits and had distanced herself from the Avenger lifestyle. But word finds her that someone from her past is in danger. What the journey entails was never one she wanted to face nor one she saw becoming her reality again. The rollercoaster that comes with fighting evil odds arrives on her doorstep not leaving much room for a no…
Series Summary: She was done and retired. After Thanos and after the battle of a lifetime, she had called it quits and had distanced herself from the Avenger lifestyle. But word finds her that someone from her past is in danger. What the journey entails was never one she wanted to face nor one she saw becoming her reality again. The rollercoaster that comes with fighting evil odds arrives on her doorstep not leaving much room for a no…
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 2900+
A/N:Ok friends. I have one more chapter after this that is written and ready to post. After that, it will be a waiting game on when each chapter comes out after. I will try and finish this series up though however before starting any new ones. And I don’t expect this one to be more than 15 chapters if that. So once again! THank you for the support and I would love to know what you guys think of this far:) xoxoxo
Chapter 8:
“What do you mean she won’t heal herself?” Tony shouted. “She’s got a broken collar bone, a gash the size of Florida on her arm, and a head injury bad enough to bench the Hulk for a week.”
“Tony-” Nat sighed, rubbing her temple.
“You think I want to see her like that, Tony? Trust me if I could convince her, it would have already been done,” Steve groaned.
A moment of silence passed with the group of Avengers in the room.
“Where’s the body?” Tony eventually asked.
“There wasn’t one to retrieve,” Bucky answered solemnly. He was turned to the medical bay where they were surveying Y/N as she sat quietly and disassociated from the moment.
“What do you mean?” Nat asked.
“From what I could tell, the nuke that she disabled was done by her own powers of vibration manipulation. The explosion still happened, but instead of some city or town it was going to decimate, she made it go off where it was,” Bucky explained from his rough analysis of the bomb site. “She went with it. There were no remains to take home.”
Everyone lowered their head at the thought. This poor young girl knew she wouldn’t make it out and still did what she did.
“Has she said anything?” Clint asked, stepping into the conversation.
“Since we got on the jet? Not a word,” Bucky shook his head, arms crossed over his chest and eyes still trained on her sat at the edge of the medical cott.
“There weren’t any bombs at the other sites,” Tony thought out loud. “Why this one?” No one answered as no one had an answer for it. When he looked back at the glass wall that divided them from Y/N, his face dropped and became unreadable. “I’ll be back. Keep me updated on her.”
Everyone was either looking through the glass seeing the beat up version of their friend, or looking down, not able to stomach everything.
“I’m going to do some research,” Nat spoke up, leaving with only one last sad look at Y/N.
Steve walked up to Bucky noticing he was upset.
“Hey, you ok? You didn’t let the nurses check you over either,” he asked.
“Y/N healed me,” he slightly bent the truth. Yes, she had, after his first hit toward the wall, but he definitely had bruised ribs from the blast of the explosion.
“Are you sure? You were walking with a slight limp when you brought her in,” Steve questioned.
“It was because most of her weight was on me. I wasn’t trying to manhandle her with her injuries,” he sighed.
“Ok, ok. You know I have to ask,” Steve stood next to him mimicking his stance.
It was quiet in the room for a few minutes and when Steve turned around, he noticed Sam and Clint had both left giving them some space.
“What happened out there?” Steve finally asked one-on-one. His posture slacking some with it just being his best friend.
Bucky sighed, looking down and slowly looked back up. His hands moved to his pockets as he watched a nurse finish stitches on her shoulder, and another cleaned up the last bit of blood on her face leaving just the prominent bruising under her eyes from a most likely broken nose that had been realigned.
“We raided a few places before we got a call from Stark on our way back. We thought it was all a miss until he gave us new coordinates… Getting into the building, Marley put up a good fight. She wasn’t in her right mind though. Looked like some well practiced brainwashing.”
“Anything similar to the kind we’re familiar with?” Steve asked.
“Very similar. If not exact,” he nodded. “But Y/N… She put up a fight herself, and eventually we were able to knock Marley down a peg just long enough for us to hender her. With just a literal touch of her fingers, Y/N snapped her out of it and she was back to being a young girl again.”
“So Y/N brought her back,” Steve added everything up.
“Yeah, and she got maybe two seconds of seeing her like her old self before the building began to collapse above and below us.”
_____________________________
“We have to go back,” Y/N grunted as she started moving around the crumbled building.
“Y/N-” Bucky groaned, as he limped to her.
“She’s in there. I can’t leave without her,” she shook her head in denial.
Bucky already knew what they would most likely find. Either nothing but ashes or something more graphic that would hurt Y/N more in the long run.
“I’ll go look,” he offered, finally catching up to her and attempting to hold her back by grabbing her forearm. “You’re injured. You need to heal yourself before you-”
“I don’t feel it,” she argued, walking up to a small pillar that was still somehow standing.
Placing her injured arm against it and taking in a deep breath, she used the wall to push her shoulder back into place. All that left her lips was a low grunt and quick breaths as she steadied herself.
Bucky looked at her bewildered. That same arm had a gash going down the side where blood was actively flowing out. It was slow, but it was still bleeding. Her nose was slightly crooked from being thrown into the ground at some point in her battle with Marley and blood was dried coming from one nostril. She had other bruises and cuts scattered all over her body and face, yet she ‘didn’t feel it.’
“Yeah, I don’t believe that for a second. Close to being a God or not, you can feel pain,” Bucky scoffed, his tone becoming more serious. “Listen, just let me bandage up your arm real fast and then we can-”
She was already marching away to head to the part of the warehouse they originally were in before everything was shot to hell.
“Jesus,” Bucky groaned.
He was able to get his belt off and ternacate her arm so it wouldn’t bleed out while she sifted through rubble. She didn’t fight him on it, but she also didn’t stay still for him to do it, making it take at least 5 minutes longer than it should have.
They sifted through things for a little while and came up empty. Every other minute he would stop and ask if she would just heal herself, at which point she eventually snapped and shouted that she couldn’t concentrate on it right now. Something about needing to be in the right headspace to do it and she wasn’t going to be until they found Marley. The only time she used her powers was to lift large pieces of concrete and part of the building to move them around in hope of finding something under the sweepings. That and to create a light while the only light in the night was the moon and the dispersed fires around them.
When the slightest glow from sunrise started brushing the horizon, they found a pit in the ground where the bomb had most certainly gone off. That’s when Y/N finally stopped calling out her name.
The last 40 minutes had consisted of non-stop shouting for her in hopes of a response and now complete silence.
The hole was at least 50 feet in the ground. Bucky could look down in it, but there was no way he could have jumped down and got back out without help.
Y/N however, levitated herself down slow and easy as she took in the wreckage. No signs of remains besides shrapnel from the nuke and broken cement and wires that were once bones to a basement.
She turned in a circle studying every single piece of detritus hoping for something to point her to where Marley could have gone cause there was no way that someone could have been in that room and survived.
No… She had to have escaped… Please… That was the only answer Y/N could take, but…
She fell to her knees and let out a blood curdling scream. With it a wave of white energy blasted around her shaking the ground and whooshing up the sides of the pit knocking Bucky back a few steps as the force brushed past him.
She curled into herself and held her broken body close as she folded on top of her knees.
Bucky watched from the top. Her body moved slightly as he noticed her sob quietly to herself. He gave her space, though there wasn’t much he could do… He could make the 50 foot drop but he knew she probably would want a second alone.
15 minutes passed. Her crying had quieted by now and just distant sniffles were heard from the ledge Bucky had settled by.
She looked up and raised both her hands palms up, that same white energy created a beautiful light around her and spread, covering the pain and awful destruction that surrounded her.
Though he wasn’t in the pit himself, a sense of peace and relief hit him like a small gust of wind. She was giving that space that feeling for Marley. Clearly she hadn’t made it out herself, so all that was left for Y/N to do was give her finality in that spot.
If there was any soul there… It was free now.
The walk back to the plane was quiet. Y/N didn’t say a word and her face stayed stoic.
Once Bucky helped her in, he set the coordinates to the compound and turned on autopilot before coming to the back to help with first aid.
She didn’t say a word. Didn’t move. Just sat in silence with a solemn face etched into her features.
Bucky was careful not to impose himself on her, but she needed medical attention and if she wasn’t going to give it to herself, he was going to take it into his own hands.
Her shoulder was back in place and the last second tourniquet was helping from losing too much blood, but he made a quick wrap to help it from infection.
She had a cut on her eyebrow that he gently applied rubbing alcohol to and put in butterfly stitches. She didn’t even flinch and he could see in her eyes that she wasn’t there.
Physically? Barely. Mentally? Light years away.
He did a few quick patch up works to her, just good enough to hold her over until actual doctors were there.
He could ask her again to heal herself, but the few times he had even asked permission to fix a cut or wipe away dried blood, she never responded. It would have been pointless.
Majority of the flight back, he went to the cockpit of the jet giving her space, but he also couldn’t help but come back and check on her ever so often.
She still never moved from that spot. The only movement she made was leaning forward with her face in her hands or her head leaning back on the hard interior of the plane.
Memories and thoughts playing in her head on repeat, but no sound sharing what she was thinking came about.
When they finally landed at the compound, Nat, Clint, Sam, and Steve were at the hanger, quick to take the two to the med bay.
Tony met them in the room over where he interrogated Bucky, but only got the basics from what had happened. Not many details as Y/N wasn’t the only one processing the past few days.
Now with just Steve, he gave him all the information he could, but even then, he couldn’t comprehend what Y/N could have been going through.
To an extent he could, but you can never truly put yourself into someone else’s shoes fully as every experience, no matter how similar to another, is different to an extent. All that including people’s feelings, thought processes, and grieving processes are all so particular to that person.
“I don’t know how she’s going to handle this, Steve,” he finally spoke up after a long pause in the conversation. Watching as the nurses left the room, finished with the bandaging and leaving a broken and beat up Y/N on her own. “I barely know her and yet I feel like…” Steve turned and looked at him with curious eyes. “I don’t like seeing her like this.”
Steve nodded in agreement with his friend. He knew Bucky had only known her for a short while, but he wouldn’t put it past them to have grown somewhat close, or at the very least, get to know each other well on the mission they were out on.
And he knew from experience, Y/N wasn’t someone that you meet and go on with your life after. She had a way of connecting with everyone she met and placing a seed in them that would only grow with each interaction.
He knew that if Bucky and her were to ever meet, his friend would grow to find comfort in Y/N. With everything he had been through, someone giving him a sense of peace and reassurance like she could, wouldn’t be something easily forgettable or easily avoided afterward.
And now seeing her like this… A place where Steve had only ever seen her in when Thanos was here. He knew seeing someone like that hurt, impacted you just as hard sometimes.
“She’ll make it,” Steve placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It’ll take time and lots of care, but she’ll make it. She’s strong.”
They both looked at her as a doctor came in and checked her vitals one last time. Once again, she stayed still and moved as though she were a puppet to appease the doctor.
“Where’s Ryker?” Bucky snapped out of it and looked around.
“Uh, Parker had him outside a minute ago. But I’ll call him in,” Steve nodded. “Can you help Y/N back to her room? Maybe get Nat to take her. She can help her get changed and get settled to rest.”
Bucky nodded and wiped a hand down his face, trying to wipe away the exhaustion that was starting to settle in on him.
“Hey, I know I’ve asked a thousand times already, but…” Steve moved to where he could see his friend’s face. “Are you sure you’re ok?”
Bucky couldn’t help the small smile that peaked. The two couldn’t not look out for the other.
“I’ll make it another day,” he replied.
Steve knew what he truly meant and nodded before giving him one last pat on the shoulder and then leaving the room.
Bucky turned back to see the doctor discussing a few things, but Y/N was completely disassociated from his words.
He let out a long sigh knowing just how effective anyone talking to her would be. He sent Nat a quick text telling her to meet them at her room and asking if she could help out.
When he walked in, the Doctor was still going on about some bruising and how long it would last for her broken nose, and Bucky kindly waited until he was done.
He seemed to finish up his unneeded rant a little faster with him in the room.
When it was finally just the two of them, he squatted in front of Y/N, but her eyes stayed focused on the tray table in the corner.
“Hey, I’m going to walk you back to your room now so you can get some rest. Nat will be waiting there to help you get ready for bed and what not,” he explained. Nothing. “Ok, well. Do you need help walking or-?”
Why did he even bother asking? Really it was just the gentleman in him not wanting to do anything without warning or asking her first, even if he wasn’t going to get an answer. He would rather her know what was happening.
She finally blinked and looked down at him. He sent her a small, surprised, gentle smile at the first reaction he had got so far.
She took a deep breath and slowly stood from the edge of the bed. A slight cringe took over her face, but she pushed it aside and limped to the door.
If it was anything like him, her muscles had had time to rest now, so soreness was kicking in and it was kicking in hard.
He lent an arm for support and she took it quietly.
The walk back was slow and careful as they didn’t rush to get there. When he opened the door, Nat was already laying out sweats and a sweatshirt for her and paused her actions as she gave her a soft smile.
“Hey,” she said softly, walking to take her from Bucky. “I got it from here. Thanks Barnes.”
He nodded, but didn’t leave just yet. “Uh, if you need anything, just-”
“I’ll let you know,” Nat smiled. “You go get some rest yourself. I know you’re more beat up than you’re leading on to be,” she said with a raised eyebrow.
Bucky let out an awkward huff and waved before heading to the door. He turned back one more time to see Y/N standing there looking blankly at the TV that was off and Nat trying to softly coax her to help her change.
After shutting the door, he looked down both ends of the hall and let out a long breath.
He should feel better that she was in good hands and that they were safe from the outside world, but for once, it wasn’t the outside world that they needed to worry about.
It was the storm that was raging on the inside…
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Series Summary: She was done and retired. After Thanos and after the battle of a lifetime, she had called it quits and had distanced herself from the Avenger lifestyle. But word finds her that someone from her past is in danger. What the journey entails was never one she wanted to face nor one she saw becoming her reality again. The rollercoaster that comes with fighting evil odds arrives on her doorstep not leaving much room for a no…
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count:3300+
A/N: Here we go ladies and gentleman… Buckle Up!
Chapter 7:
Slowly, he turned to see… Her.
Green eyes. Black hair that looked like it was meant to be brown, but hadn’t been washed due to neglect. Pale skin due to lack of sunlight.
“Marley,” he said softly, raising his hands in surrender. He didn’t want to harm her and he wanted her to know that.
“You see her?” Y/N was breathless in the comms as she started moving toward his direction.
“Marl-”
He was cut off by her raising her hand like she had in all those videos right before taking her victims life.
He immediately flinched away at the movement knowing there was no beating it, before…
__________
Nothing happened. Not even a tickle. He had turned away from the gesture and somewhat curled into himself when there was silence and he felt no different than normal.
He opened his eyes, not realizing he had scrunched them shut. Upon turning back around, Marley was giving him a confused look with her hand still out stretched. He looked down at himself, examining for injury, but he was untouched.
She flicked her hand again, yet all that hit him was a small feeling of discomfort, but it wasn’t anything close to what could have been.
He looked down at his arms and saw the slightest glow had overtaken them. Highlights of the runes Y/N had casted on him showed to be in use.
“Not going to work Marley,” a voice broke him out of his trance.
Y/N was behind them both, staring sternly at Marley’s back.
She turned quickly at the new threat and hesitated. She cocked her head to the side as if analyzing Y/N. Did she recognize her?
Y/N noticed the shift and her serious face dropped some. She put her hands up showing she wasn’t trying to fight her.
“Mars,” she said her nickname. “Please don’t do this. I need you to snap out of it.”
Marley twitched her head again. Trying to put a name or any form of recognition to Y/N’s face, but in the end it only made her more frustrated.
She threw both hands out with practiced movements in an attempt to fight, but nothing happened. Y/N was unscathed.
“I told you. It’s not going to work,” Y/N said, taking careful calculated steps closer. “Snap out of it. Please.”
“There’s nothing for her to snap out of,” a voice came on over an intercom they hadn’t realized worked. “Her brain chemicals have been altered for a more efficient use.”
Y/N looked up at the speakers mounted on the wall, collecting cobwebs and looking as though they had been out of use for years on top of years.
“Who the hell are you?” she shouted in an enraged way, quickly turning back to Marley, not to take her eyes off her.
“Doesn’t matter. Not like you’ll find me,” he responded. His accent a thick russian one. “We’ve already vacated and left our little pet to clean up for us. Though, I must say. I wasn’t expecting a couple of Avengers to be our guest.”
“You’ve killed multiple agents, experimented on a wide group of people, and kidnapped someone very close to me. Are you ignorant enough to think we wouldn’t?” Y/N replied with venom in her voice.
“Lucky for us, even an Avenger level threat doesn’t phase us given our experimentations,” he paused and there was a cockiness in his tone. “Subject 9, terminate threat.”
And as if a switch flipped, her eyes blinked and she was immediately back to killer mode.
She started to levitate in her spot and vibrations started to shake the walls.
“Bucky, get out of here,” Y/N said in an even tone not phased by the power emitting from the young woman. As if she knew what was happening, but fear was still relevant in her voice.
“I’m not going,” he shouted over the loud clanking and shattering of things falling around them.
“If you don’t go now, you won’t make it out,” she said a little more gravely.
“Nice try, but not happening,” he said matter of factly, standing back in combat mode.
“Jesus, you’re hard headed,” she groaned before lifting up and throwing what he could best describe as energy rays at Marley.
It blinded Marley at first, but then she threw back something at Y/N that actually knocked her on her ass.
Y/N slid across the ground hitting and fumbling into a steel table. Bucky watched as it all played out in front of him and the first thing he could think of was to wing the enemy.
He grabbed a revolver out of his thigh holster and aimed for Marley’s shoulder. First shot made the hit. She flinched at the pain and turned her attention to the weaker opponent.
He realized his mistake as it didn’t really do much damage to her, but he shot again, hoping to leave flesh wounds, but by the second shot, she raised a hand stopping the bullet mid air.
“Shit,” was all Bucky got out before she was throwing him now across the room and into a wall.
“Marley! Stop!” Y/N shouted, quickly back on her feet.
Marley turned back to the higher threat and tilted her head down, giving Y/N an evil and sadistic stare.
“I don’t want to hurt you Mars! But if you don’t stop, I can’t let you keep going on like this.” Y/N’s voice was ridden with regret and hurt as she said those words.
“Y/N, she’s brainwashed!” Bucky grunted as he stood up from his spot. He held his ribs as they had crashed into the sharp edge of a table bringing a stinging pain internally with it.
“No,” Y/N shook her head in denial. “Mars, it’s me. Come on. I’m supposed to look after you. I don’t want to do this.” Her hands were now raised in a position which showed she was ready to fight, although reluctantly.
Bucky watched as no emotion crossed Marley’s face. He recognized it all too well. It was the same face he had seen in videos of his old self. People pleading and begging him to stop and give them a chance, and not a single thought besides death was behind his eyes in those moments.
Still floating mid-air, she threw both her hands, palm showing, to Y/N and strong vibration waves tunneled in on her.
She was quick to deflect it, putting up a force field of sorts crossing her arms to block the hit thrown at her.
But Marley saw how well she fought her off and amplified her strength against her. Pulling her arms back and pushing out again with more force.
Bucky watched as Y/N’s knees buckled just a touch at the strength, but still stood.
As if collecting every ounce of energy from Marley’s exertion, she threw her arms back to her side with a grunt sending the force right back to Marley, throwing her off balance.
Marley shot back at the hit and fell against a wall. She was quick to try and regain her balance, but Y/N threw another round of energy at her. Each time Marley tried to bounce back, Y/N was keeping her down with calculated, yet brash hits.
It didn’t look to be hurting her, just stunting her own motives and keeping her at bay.
“Snap out of it!” Y/N shouted with anger as she threw hit after hit and Marley kept coming back for more.
“Y/N!” Bucky shouted, trying to get her to snap out of it. They needed a different approach, but he didn’t know what.
He looked around for tools, clues, anything to shut Marley down, but not hurt her.
Along the wall, a shut down freezer full of trifled through viles and medications. He ran for it, looking back to see the two women going at each other. One trying to kill the other and one just trying to slow the other down.
Quickly, he examined the contents of the viles and saw things like penicillin and ampicillin, simple antibiotics, but nothing useful to take down a girl like Marley. Then he saw two vials that he knew with the right mixture, could aid them.
Hurriedly, he found a needle and measured out the contents before turning back to the other two.
Marley was adapting to Y/N’s hits, and Y/N wasn’t trying to amp up her punches, making it easier for Marley to overpower her again soon.
Bucky snuck through the room in a skilled way that kept the attention off of him and maneuvered to them both.
“Stop fighting, please!” Y/N shouted for the hundredth time.
Finally Marley let out a blood curdling scream that seemed to channel her vibration manipulation straight through Y/N’s energy fields, causing her to grip her ears shielding them from the pain.
Bucky cringed at the sound himself, but continued to make his move.
Just as Marley was seconds from quite possibly incapacitating Y/N, Bucky jumped from behind and stabbed her in the neck with the syringe.
Marley flinched at the pain and turned to once again throw Bucky against a wall. His head met the concrete with a horrible smack and he went limp against it.
“Bucky!” Y/N shouted, watching Marley turn her attention back to her and tilt her head as if victorious finally. “Mar-”
Rage burned in her eyes and she decided to use her own hands instead of her powers to punish Y/N. She punched her once then twice. She blocked the third and fourth and, irritated, Marley used her powers to throw her opponents head into the ground.
Y/N blinked repeatedly after the hit, having not been ready for it and also not fighting back hard enough. She was out of practice in this area somewhat and her reaction time was hindered not just by lost muscle memory, but the fact the person hurting her wasn’t just another bad guy.
The black haired woman raised her hand again, but began to blink rapidly and she stumbled in her step forward. She tried to snap out of the instant haze that hit her but she couldn’t. Knowing she was growing weak, she used the last bit of her energy to try and punch and hit Y/N again, but it was equivalent to a mediocre agent trying to take a swing at her.
Y/N blocked it and used the moment of confusion to throw a wave of energy at her, knocking her back and on the ground.
She tried to regain her balance, but with the mixture of what Bucky just hit her with plus the energy blast Y/N sent, she couldn’t find her footing.
She shuffled backwards on her feet and hands. Fear showing in her eyes for the first time.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” Y/N put her hands up. Her temple was bleeding heavily and starting to bruise already under her eye.
As she moved toward her, Marley tried to raise her hand and hit her with another wave of vibrations, but it was weak compared to her prior powers. Y/N was able to wave it off.
Sending her apologetic eyes, she knelt down and pressed a finger to her forehead even though she cringed away from it.
Her body went slack, but held against the wall. She was slowly blinking out of the haze she had been in too long.
“Wait, right here. I’ll be right back,” Y/N sighed in relief, taking a second, and then squeezed her shoulder before running to where Bucky had been flung.
He had come back to consciousness, but he was still out of it.
“Hey, hey. Take it easy,” she kneeled down beside him.
When he looked up, blinking away the stars that were glistening in his sight and saw blood all over her face.
“Y/N,” he said quickly, concerned and reaching forward to her.
“It’s fine. I’m fine,” she shook it off, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. She sent him a small smile even though there was no happiness behind it. “Let’s get you fixed up.”
With a wave of her hand and in a blur, Bucky’s splitting headache and pain throughout his back was gone. He was back to full strength. And because of that, his first and only concern was Y/N.
“You’re head,” he stood up, helping her as she stood with him.
“I’m not worried about it,” she waved off, turning back to where she had left Marley.
Bucky would have argued, and hell he tried, but she tuned him out and set her attention strictly on Marley.
“Hey,” she sat next to her, careful to make sure she wasn’t the most recent version of herself.
Marley stared at her somewhat bewildered and then a frown started forming on her face.
“What have I done?” she whispered looking at Y/N in horror.
“You did nothing. That wasn’t you,” Y/N shook her head furiously.
“I-I killed so many peop-” Marley started to choke on her words. Her voice rough from little use.
“Stop. Don’t do that to yourself. Not right now. We need to get you out of here.”
Y/N was on a mission and in big sister mode. She would take care of her and bring her back to health when they were safe, but right now was not the time.
“It’s not that easy, Y/N,” Marley muttered, not moving from her position.
“Sure it is.” Y/N was analyzing her surroundings, not really knowing what she was saying, and trying to choose her next move. “Bucky, can you help me-”
Before she could finish her sentence, the place began to rumble and the ground beneath them shook violently.
She looked quickly to Marley with confusion written all over on her face.
“That’s not me,” Marley shook her head, looking around her as well, but she didn’t seem as phased by it.
“What is that?” Bucky spoke up, crouching some as pieces of concrete started to fall around him.
“I told you it wouldn’t be that easy. You guys need to get out of here,” Marley grunted as she re-positioned herself.
“We need to get out of here,” Y/N corrected. “Come on. Stand up.”
“He won’t let me leave,” she shook her head.
“What do you mean he won’t let you leave?” Y/N asked, starting to get irritated. “Marley, stand up. Come on. We don’t have time for this!” she shouted, pulling on her arm in a frantic manner.
“Stop! It’s not going to work out in my favor!” Marley snapped.
Y/N pulled away and looked at her concerned. Her hesitance was quickly wiped off as she went into mom mode.
“Get your ass up, Marley,” she said sternly.
“Let me fix this,” the young girl practically begged.
“There is nothing for you to fix. They abandoned this place and it looks like they’re going to destroy it. All we can and need to do is get out of here,” Y/N said, standing a little taller, frustration growing in her words.
“That’s not them destroying it. There’s a giant nuke underground,” Marley shook her head again, still not budging from her spot. “What you feel is it being triggered and if it leaves here, something terrible is going to happen.”
“What?” Y/N audibly gasped. “What are you talking about?”
“That’s their plan B. I know how to dismantle it, but you both need to get out,” she started to stand, holding her ribs as she cringed at the slight pain.
“I can take care of it,” Y/N shook her head. “You get Bucky out of here.”
Not even knowing where the thing was exactly, Y/N turned determined to find the weapon.
“Stop!” Marley shouted, the ground shaking even more forcefully causing them all to lose their footing some.
More pieces of concrete and debris began to fall from the caving ceiling. Marley quickly moved to where she was cutting Y/N off from her path. She wasn’t going to be the one to destroy the thing.
“So help me God, I’m not losing you again. Go before I make you,” Y/N said with a fierce tone. No room for debate.
“Just know that I’m doing this more than just for me,” Marley said with a sad smile.
“Mar-”
“I’m sorry,” she said before sending her one last smile. “I love you,” she mouthed.
And just as Y/N raised her hand out, Marley shook the ground to the point a whole wall of rocks cut her off from Y/N and Bucky.
Dust filled the air and before she could fathom what just happened, she was pulled back into Bucky’s arms to keep her from getting hit from more of the debris.
Once out of the way from falling pieces of the building, she quickly waved her hand, the dust accumulated into a cloud and she pushed it away seeing a barricade of broken cement keeping her from where Marley was sure to have run off to.
That wasn’t going to stop her though, she was ready to move every ounce of those rocks in a blink of her eye, but again, the walls and floors shook.
“Y/N, we have to get out of here! The place is going to collapse!” Bucky shouted, pulling her wrist to keep her from going far.
“Like hell I’m leaving her again!” she shouted back, attempting to pull away.
“Y/N please! If you die too, she would have done this for nothing!”
“I don’t care!” Y/N pushed on, but with the wrong step and so many pieces of rock and asphalt falling, she missed the piece that came and fell hard on her shoulder. “Shit!”
“Y/N!”
It hit hard. Not just leaving a scrape, but a deep gash. On top of that it looked as though it dislocated it as well.
She blinked away the pain and attempted to let the adrenaline take over, but Bucky decided he was taking charge now.
Everything was a blur after that. She remembered pushing and fighting against Bucky, but she also remembers being discombobulated by everything around them. Alarms were blaring, ceilings were caving in, her legs were barely moving.
The last thing she remembered was the blast of everything going off.
A piercing sound took over her senses. It was dark outside and the little bit of light in the middle of nowhere came from the calming tones of the moon and the angry fire of the facility up in flames.
“Marley,” she muttered out, finding herself laid out on her back in the grass about 20 feet away from the wreckage. Blood hindering her sight. She tried to blink it away and as she wiped her hands down her face, the crimson color covered her hand.
Was it her blood or-?
Bucky groaned as he rolled on his side. The two had been thrown about 10 feet from the explosion after it went off. Meaning, they were only 10 feet away when everything combusted.
“Are you ok?” Y/N asked, looking over at him and slightly scooting to see any injuries.
“Nothing past bruised ribs,” he answered. “I’ll be ok.”
Y/N stood, placing a hand on her shoulder and feeling the wetness of the cut, but not actually feeling the pain just yet.
Bucky was calling her name as she limped to the rubble that burned in front of them, but she blocked him out.
Her lip began to tremble and the tears in her eyes started to wash the blood away as she processed what had just happened.
“Marley,” she whimpered again, limping a little faster.
“Y/N!” Bucky shouted behind her, slowly getting to his feet. Again, being ignored.
“Marley,” she started to cry, knowing what she’d find, but hoping for it to be the opposite. “MARLEY!”
But what was done, was done.
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This August, writer Phillip Kennedy Johnson will continue his bold contributions to the world of ALIEN in an all-new comic series! Featuring the incredible and terrifying artwork of rising star Julius Ohta, “ALIEN #1” will kick off a new saga that will serve as a perfect entrypoint into the legendary horror/science-fiction franchise for newcomers and a must-read for longtime fans. Packed with…
I Wish You Could Be Honest Chapter Six: Leaving is Only For the Faint of Heart
HYDRA didn’t die out when it failed to take down S.H.I.E.L.D. during the time of the Winter Soldier. Now, top enemy agent Y/N L/N has been sent to finish the job by killing Steve Rogers. When she’s captured by S.H.I.E.L.D., she doesn’t know what to expect, but it certainly doesn’t involve Captain America himself trying to win her over.
Moore leaves soon enough, and you’re alone on the balcony once more. You turn back to the landscape before you, hoping for something to distract you from the relentless surge of thoughts all crawling down your throat, but even the sky and sun can’t ease your mind anymore. The sunset has finished, the colors are gone. All that’s left is the gradual growing dark of night.
Steve comes back about five minutes later. You have to hand it to him, he tries hard to get you talking anymore, but the charm of your previous conversation has been lost. You feel restless, like you’re a junior agent on her first mission instead of the battle-hardened spy that you’re supposed to be. What happened to make you like this? Who stole your courage like a pickpocket snatching a purse?
You know, of course. Moore coming to tell you about the impending break-out attempt should have lifted your spirits, but it’s just sunk you back down into a wealth of shadows. You knew you would be leaving at some point, or you hoped as much, but now that you’re face to face with the truth, you almost don’t know what to do with yourself.
It’s good news, though. It’s meant to be good news. When Steve gives up and walks with you back to your cell, you force your mind to parade through every happy thing awaiting you back at the HYDRA base. Clean clothes that are actually yours and not just borrowed from the S.H.I.E.L.D. uniforms. Your best weapons. The friends you’ve made. The promotion that’s awaiting you, or at least the familiar burn of a chastisement. Everything about the organization that’s been your life for the past few years.
Yet, when you shut your eyes, alone in your cell once more, you do not see the faces of your boss, nor your coworkers, or even yourself. You see the blond man sitting before you, how he tilts his head back when he laughs and squints his eyes shut as if he can’t even believe himself for thinking what’s been said is funny, let alone you too.
This illusion of your mind shrugs his shoulders, tips his bottle forward against yours then draws it back just as quickly for a drink. He does not know you’re going, and he won’t, not ever. You can keep a secret, even if you don’t know how to keep it from yourself.
There’s a security camera in the corner, it is watching you with a relentless stare. You sit up slightly, staring it dead in the eyes. Who’s the agent on the other side, looking back at you? Is it someone you’ve hurt? Is it any one of the other friends you made before you betrayed them all when HYDRA reared its head? Hell, is it Steve? Did he see your furrowed brows and wonder what you were hiding from him?
The red recording light blinks once as if in acknowledgement, then shuts off completely. In the weeks you’ve spent in this cell, that has never happened once, not even when Steve was talking to you outside of the interrogation. It stayed on all along.
You stand slowly, wavering as blood rushes to your legs. Moments later, the door to your cell clicks open, a precise sort of sound like the whir of a machine. Your head jerks towards it, your hands clenched into fists. The lights click on about half a second later, revealing Moore standing in the doorway.
He raises his hands in mock surrender, grinning. “You can calm down, L/N. We’re skipping town, so if you’re attacking anyone, it shouldn’t be me.”
You force your shoulders to relax, but there’s still a churning sort of nerves messing up the rest of you. “What happened to waiting it out? I thought we weren’t leaving for a while. Has something happened?”
Moore shakes his head, casually strolling further in the room so he can pretend to check out the room like a potential buyer on a reality TV show. “That was so you would take it easy, like you should be doing now. If I told you that we were going tonight, you would have reacted accordingly. We can’t have you communicating anything to Captain America or his trusty thugs, even by accident. What, did you want to give him a little goodbye kiss?”
You walk closer to Moore, laying a hand on his shoulder and squeezing just enough that he squirms in your grip like a fish out of water. “I’m going to suggest you stop talking and just get me out, or I’m going to tear your arms off.”
Moore laughs nervously, although he does a quick sidestep out of your reach the second he can. He works his shoulder with a free hand, grimacing. “So pleasant, Agent. I can see why you have so many friends.”
At a sharp glance from you, he sighs. “Alright, alright. Let’s go.”
You follow him out of your cell, but you only make it a few steps outside before he stops walking again.
“Another detour?” You ask. “Why, are the security cameras on a loop or something?”
Moore has the bravery to scoff. “What? No, I know what I’m doing. No one can hear or see us unless they decide to take a trip down to the incarceration block for a fun nighttime activity.”
You give him a pointed look. “Then why are we stopping?”
Moore pulls a stack of key cards out of his pocket, handing half to you. “I’ve ordered some cell rearrangements. Everyone in this hall is a member of HYDRA. If we’re doing one jailbreak, we’re doing them all.”
You nod, grabbing the cards. Moore walks past you to the other end of the hall and begins to unlock another door. You were in the cell on the far left, so you move one door over and swipe a card against the lock. It opens with that same mechanical click, revealing an agent tied to a chair in the dead center of the room.
You recognize her, having seen this very same agent when you first arrived at the S.H.I.E.L.D. cell block. It’s Henrietta Clarke, the woman Steve took you to visit in the hopes of seeing whether you’d rat out anyone in HYDRA if given a chance at freedom. You hadn’t revealed her then, but upon coming face to face with her again, you can’t help but remember Steve’s words.
He had said that you were the only HYDRA agent who had refused to turn in a fellow agent, contrary to what you had been told in the past. It’s HYDRA principle to never betray your coworkers, yet not one of your captured agents had ever played by that rule. Steve could have been lying, of course, but you’ve memorized his tells like a gambler memorizing the day’s lotto numbers. You know when Steve is lying, and he wasn’t lying then.
You push the thought out of your head. You don’t have time to think about Steve, not now. If you’re captured at this point, no amount of tricks will save you from a true interrogation. You’ve been offered an olive branch, and you need to use it to escape now. If Steve finds out about your attempt to flee, he’ll never offer you the same kindness again.
You reach for the dummy S.H.I.E.L.D. badge on your arm, removing the hidden blade in one crisp movement. As you saw at Clarke’s restraints, though, you can’t force your thoughts from Steve any longer. Moore wasn’t wrong about the date change for the break-out. If you had known that you were leaving tonight, you would have–
Well, what would you have done? Would you have told Steve that you were leaving, would you have hoped for a goodbye? Not a chance. Steve is still your enemy, even if you think you can share drinks with him on a sunny afternoon. There is no future that doesn’t involve the two of you gunning for each other, and no amount of jokes and false pretenses can change that.
It’s over now, it’s done. This hasn’t been one of the worst lies you’ve told, and if you’re going to be honest with yourself, you might even miss it on late nights when the solitude of a spy’s life gets to you. Maybe you’ll reminisce whenever you see a man who smiles with eyes even half that blue, or when you delude yourself into thinking that you’ll ever be more than a killer. One man thought that you could be more than just yourself, and you’re proving him wrong right now.
You tug through the last of Clarke’s restraints with a savage tug of your blade, and she stands up. You can’t return her relieved smile, just slap another key card into her palm and tell her to start letting people out. You open door after door, and eventually, you meet up with Moore and a dozen or so newly freed agents.
From there, it’s relatively simple. Moore must have been planning this operation with other HYDRA agents for a while, because he’s got everything under lock. You can admit that much, even though you still think the guy’s a greasy asshole who’s far less slick than he thinks.
He manages to get you back your uniform and guns, too, even though your belongings are probably covered in trackers and have to be ditched soon enough. Well, the thought counts. Moore has identified specific corridors that are monitored by dead cameras, and you and your entourage of liberated HYDRA agents dash through the hallways as quickly as you can.
You’re running on adrenaline and the hope that you’ll get out soon, so when Moore starts directing you further into the S.H.I.E.L.D. complex instead of towards the doors leading out, you can’t help but feel frustrated.
You catch up to him, and mutter under your breath as you run. “Excuse my confusion, but I thought we were supposed to be leaving, not staying around even longer. Shouldn’t we be going the other direction?”
Moore smirks. “That’s if we’re going immediately, yes. We still have a shot to finish your mission.”
Something like ice starts to claw its way out of your stomach, freezing around your heart and crawling up your throat to tip your tongue with cold. “What does that mean?”
He chuckles. “Oh, come on. We’ll never get a chance like this again. Steve Rogers is going to come out of that door over there in approximately thirty seconds, and he’ll never be able to take on all of us, not when we have surprise on our side. I bet you twenty he doesn’t even have his shield with him.”
You turn to face him slowly. “We’re killing him now?”
This is too much. You were barely pulling yourself together when you thought you were leaving Steve with nothing, but now? You try to visualize what is about to happen. Steve comes walking out of those doors, coasting on the feeling of being safe for once in his life. He isn’t watching his back. He doesn’t have to, not in his own base.
What will happen when he sees you, out of your cell and surrounded by your own men? Will you watch those sky blue eyes flash with surprise, then grow cold when he realizes that you’ve betrayed him? You are the primary agent here, even though Moore’s been leading this rescue operation for a while. You will be the one expected to take your gun and pull the trigger.
It will be your hands stained with red, then. It will be your bullet piercing Steve’s skull. He will fall dead at your feet, because you never miss and you certainly won’t when he’s so close to you. Will you wait for him to realize the situation before you take the shot, or will you save yourself the torment of watching him understand, and kill him before he knows you’ve turned traitor once again?
All this flashes before your eyes in the space of about half a second. You blink, hard, to clear away the vision of Steve lying dead at your feet, and the linoleum clears itself of blood in about half a second. You have killed many times before, and murdered people far more innocent than Steve. You were ready to assassinate him weeks ago. You can do it again. You have no other choice but to do it again.
But Moore is shaking his head.
“No, not this time, I’m afraid. We’ll do it eventually, of course, but he’s been so open to you that it’s got me thinking. Why cut off a perfectly good lead if you can keep using it? I’m thinking we take Rogers back with us to base, glean every piece of information we can, then shut him up once and for all. I mean, I’ve been undercover here for a while, and they only let me know so much. I can’t imagine the wealth of knowledge Rogers is sitting on, and if he shares even half of it, we’re golden.”
You let out a slow breath, feeling oddly relieved. “Alright, then. Shoot to wound?”
Moore considers this, then frowns, disagreeing. “Why bother? The noise would only alert people. We surround him, maybe rough him up a bit to get him to surrender, then knock him cold. We’ve got enough people that we can get him out without too much fuss. There’s a vehicle parked right out that door.”
You nod. “You’ve certainly planned this out well.”
It’s a statement of judgment, but Moore just seems pleased by it. “Yes, I have. Gratitude looks good on you.”
You’re not certain that you’re grateful in the slightest, but you don’t have time to unpack that, because the doors at the far end of the hall are opening and Steve Rogers is stepping out into the corridor. As the door shuts behind him, he freezes slightly, noticing that there’s a crowd of people where there should be nothing but empty rooms.
His eyes meet yours, flash to the people around you, then back to you again. He tilts his head back slightly, knowingly. “I suppose there’s no way I can convince you to go back to your cells, then?”
Moore laughs, the sound strangely discordant as it echoes off the half empty walls. “Not a chance. Stand down, Rogers. We’ve got you outnumbered.”
Steve shakes his head once. “Not the way I see it.”
Despite Steve’s bravado, Moore isn’t wrong. Steve may be a supersoldier, but even he can’t take on more than a dozen HYDRA agents that have been spending the last few weeks or even months biding their time for a chance to strike. He puts up a good fight, but there’s nothing he can do.
Eventually, he’s forced to the ground, his hands on his head. Moore rummages around in his pack for a syringe, and you find yourself standing directly in front of Steve, looking down at him.
Steve’s gaze is unwavering, and you feel the need to speak, anything to get this sudden, looming weight off of your chest. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. You knew I was a bad guy all along. It’s not my fault if you wanted to believe something different.”
Steve’s expression doesn’t change for a heartbeat. “I don’t believe it anymore.” He says, and you rear back for just a second as if he’s slapped you.
At the same time, Moore, having located the syringe at last, jams the tip into Steve’s neck and pushes in the plunger, releasing the sedative. Steve’s eyes shut in a matter of seconds, but you swear you can still feel his gaze burning holes into your head.
Moore looks up at you triumphantly. “Well, we did it. Mission accomplished, I’d say.”
You smile back feebly, and you don’t think it’s ever been harder to fake such a simple expression. “Mission accomplished,” you repeat.
This is supposed to be a celebration, a chance for you to finally go home, but you can’t seem to stop one question from replaying in your head, again and again until you think you might go mad:
