#the hargreeves
Five: Don’t worry, I have some knives up my sleeve
Vanya: Uh I think you mean cards
Five, confused, pulling out three knives from his sleeves: Why would I have cards on my sleeve?
Klaus: Five, I need your help
Five: Alright, who are we killing?
Klaus: No, that’s not—
Five: The only rule is no kids, but that rule is one hundred percent negotiable if the kid’s a dick
Five: With all due respect, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Diego: That wasn’t respectful like at all
Five: People tell me I have a unique way of lightning up a room
Allison: It’s called arson and those people are called witnesses
Kidnapper: I have your brother
Klaus: Oh no. Which one?
Kidnapper: Uh small?
Klaus: Oh FIVE? I’m sorry sir, but you don’t have Five, he has you. Good luck
Five: Everyone’s always trying to stop me from having fun. It’s all like “Five, that’s illegal!” And “stop it, it’s murder!”
Five: To be fair, I only think that because it’s true and I’m right
Luther: That’s a terrible plan
Klaus: Oh please we’ve had worse
Klaus: STOP ARGUING! You’re going to traumatize the baby!
Five: I’m fifty eight–
Klaus: Not you! Me! I’m baby!
Five: Why learn to grow when you can just fix the past? This is exactly why I don’t need therapy
Vanya: That’s not really the lesson I wanted you to take from this
Five: Too late
Five: Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda
Diego: It’s not on anyone’s
Five: No, it’s on mine. Just not until next Thursday
Reginald: I didn’t raise you this way!
Five: You didn’t raise us at all
Klaus: Are you mad?
Diego:No
Klaus: Oh, I see. So sharpening daggers at two am is just a hobby?
Five: I have a plan
Allison: For the last time, killing everyone and then ourselves is NOT a plan!
Flight attendant: Please make sure all small objects are secured
Klaus: *to Five* Do you feel safe, buddy?
Five: I will murder you
Luther: Where’s Klaus?
Diego: Probably off somewhere disappointing Jesus
Five: Aw boo hoo did someone get their feelings hurt?
Vanya: Five, you just broke his ribcage
Five: He’ll walk it off
Vanya: I trust Five
Luther: You think he knows what he’s doing?
Vanya: I wouldn’t go that far
Diego to Five: I can’t believe you’re making half a million and you’re only giving me $30.000!
Klaus: $30.000? I’m only getting $1.000!
Luther: Wait are you guys getting paid?!
