#number five
mr. pennycrumb this, gazelle quote that…the REAL piece of tua comic canon we should be rooting for in the show is Five’s Serial Killer PMS
Five: Don’t worry, I have some knives up my sleeve
Vanya: Uh I think you mean cards
Five, confused, pulling out three knives from his sleeves: Why would I have cards on my sleeve?
Five: With all due respect, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Diego: That wasn’t respectful like at all
Kidnapper: I have your brother
Klaus: Oh no. Which one?
Kidnapper: Uh small?
Klaus: Oh FIVE? I’m sorry sir, but you don’t have Five, he has you. Good luck
Five: Everyone’s always trying to stop me from having fun. It’s all like “Five, that’s illegal!” And “stop it, it’s murder!”
Five: To be fair, I only think that because it’s true and I’m right
Luther: That’s a terrible plan
Klaus: Oh please we’ve had worse
Klaus: STOP ARGUING! You’re going to traumatize the baby!
Five: I’m fifty eight–
Klaus: Not you! Me! I’m baby!
Five: Why learn to grow when you can just fix the past? This is exactly why I don’t need therapy
Vanya: That’s not really the lesson I wanted you to take from this
Five: Too late
Five: Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda
Diego: It’s not on anyone’s
Five: No, it’s on mine. Just not until next Thursday
Reginald: I didn’t raise you this way!
Five: You didn’t raise us at all
Klaus: Are you mad?
Diego:No
Klaus: Oh, I see. So sharpening daggers at two am is just a hobby?
Luther: Morally, you cannot do that
Five: Morally, I didn’t ask you
Five: I have a plan
Allison: For the last time, killing everyone and then ourselves is NOT a plan!
Flight attendant: Please make sure all small objects are secured
Klaus: *to Five* Do you feel safe, buddy?
Five: I will murder you
Vanya: I trust Five
Luther: You think he knows what he’s doing?
Vanya: I wouldn’t go that far
Diego to Five: I can’t believe you’re making half a million and you’re only giving me $30.000!
Klaus: $30.000? I’m only getting $1.000!
Luther: Wait are you guys getting paid?!
Five: *shows excellent poker skills*
Klaus: Damn Five. Are you secretly cool?
Five: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician Carl Friedrich cool
Klaus: I do not
Gotcha covered love
T.W. for implied body dysmorphia
