M: You know, happiness is like peeing your pants!

M: Everyone can see it, but you’re the only one who can feel its warmth.

R: Happiness is like pissing your pants.

R: I haven’t experienced it since I was eight.

(x)

MC: I’ve been dropping them insanely obvious hints for a year now. No response.

M: Wow, they sound stupid.

MC: but they aren’t! They’re just dense.

M: Maybe you need to be more obvious, like I don’t know… “hey, I love you!”

MC: I guess you’re right.

MC: Hey, I like you.

M: See, just say that!

MC: Holy shit.

M: If that flies over their head, then sorry MC, they’re too dumb for you.

MC:futurespousesayswhat

Q:

MC: Oh yeah, you can’t

M: A!!! A-

A: Hush, MC is sleeping.

M, whispering: oh, sorry.

A: What is it?

M: The house is on fire.

A: I am not in a relationship with MC.

M: Oh yeah? Well, what is the thing that bee makes?

A:Honey.

MC in “conversation” with Q, turning to A: Yes, darling?

M: And don’t you ever lie to me again.

A: I have no fears.

G: What if you woke up one day and R was taller than you?

A:

A: I have one fear.

R: Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?!

MC:Language!

R: WHOM the fuck do you think you’re talking to?!

MC:No!

R: Tell them off, M, assert yourself!

M, to A: That’s my ice cream!

R: Great, now let ‘em have it!

M: You can have it.

R:no

MC: Oh c'mon, I didn’t drink that much last night!

A: You were flirting with M.

MC: So what? We’re dating.

A: You asked if they were single.

A: And cried when they said no.

A: Hey MC, nice shirt.

MC: Thanks, I got it 50% off.

A: I’d like it better 100% off.

MC: They can’t just give away shirts for free.

A: I mean—

MC: I know you get everything handed to you, A, but that’s just not a way to run a business.

The Shadowman: Are you ready to die?

MC: I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME

MC: How tall are you?

R: Height is a social construct

MC: So you’re short

G: Does anyone else get really happy when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

R: Can’t relate. It’s 2 AM, can we sleep?

M: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

MC: I wish I could block people in real life.

G: Ignore

M: Restraining order

A: Murder

MC: How’s the most beautiful person in the world doing?

M: I don’t know, how are yo—

A, from across the room: I’m good, thanks

Incorrect Quotes Sanders sides X Helluva boss edition

Roman: Hey Remus you wanna help the men skin this thing for dinner?

Remus: Oh I am always down to skin the manly meat with the manly men!

Virgil: Thats what she said

Remus: What who said?

Everyoneelse: …

Remus: Wait what BITCH is talking SHIT about ME??

(Quote from Helluva Boss episode 5: The Harvest Moon Festival)

Virgil: that moment when you can’t tell the difference between your eyeshadow and actual eye bags.